1 00:00:00,819 --> 00:00:03,079 Previously on... Arrested Development 2 00:00:03,143 --> 00:00:06,301 Michael and his son were camping out at the family cabin 3 00:00:06,356 --> 00:00:08,273 before it was to be relocated. 4 00:00:08,345 --> 00:00:10,412 I'm just in the middle of a stupid girl problem, that's all. 5 00:00:10,463 --> 00:00:13,510 I don't even have a girl much less a stupid one. 6 00:00:13,571 --> 00:00:15,609 No, the problem is stupid, the girl isn't stupid. 7 00:00:15,676 --> 00:00:17,991 But if they ever had a child, it would be. 8 00:00:18,052 --> 00:00:20,278 Because the girl was his cousin Maeby. 9 00:00:20,335 --> 00:00:23,509 Tomorrow morning, before we tell the cops that that's not Pop-Pop in prison, 10 00:00:23,566 --> 00:00:25,550 we're going to go down to the lake, we're going to discuss 11 00:00:25,602 --> 00:00:27,920 your girl problem man-to-man and it's going to be fun. 12 00:00:27,983 --> 00:00:29,931 Especially the part about the cops. 13 00:00:30,012 --> 00:00:32,203 But Pop-Pop had other plans. 14 00:00:33,689 --> 00:00:37,682 And Michael awoke to find his camping trip going south. 15 00:00:38,376 --> 00:00:40,991 Well, you better get up now if you want to see the lake. 16 00:00:42,178 --> 00:00:45,611 And that when George Sr. made a desperate plea. 17 00:00:45,686 --> 00:00:48,931 Promise me you won't send me back to prison. 18 00:00:49,006 --> 00:00:51,312 So I can be with my dear love Lucille. 19 00:00:51,675 --> 00:00:53,653 In the twilight of her face. 20 00:00:53,737 --> 00:00:56,661 Michael didn't send his father back to prison... 21 00:00:56,736 --> 00:01:00,293 But instead arranged for him to be placed under house arrest... 22 00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:03,900 George, we're never going to be out of each other's sight! 23 00:01:03,968 --> 00:01:06,802 ...which made this woman his warden. 24 00:01:06,898 --> 00:01:08,720 Oh, dear God. 25 00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:11,282 Send me back to prison. You got to send me back to prison. 26 00:01:11,337 --> 00:01:12,491 More touching! 27 00:01:16,917 --> 00:01:21,991 Michael went to his parents' penthouse to discuss his father's ever worsening legal situation. 28 00:01:22,065 --> 00:01:22,973 Where is everybody? 29 00:01:23,057 --> 00:01:24,243 How should I know, Michael? 30 00:01:24,318 --> 00:01:27,120 As soon as Father came back, I've been like the invisible man. 31 00:01:27,198 --> 00:01:29,961 Hello? Can anyone see me? 32 00:01:30,076 --> 00:01:31,280 Where's your hand, anyway? 33 00:01:31,346 --> 00:01:33,040 Why even bother getting dressed up? 34 00:01:33,107 --> 00:01:34,101 I have no one. 35 00:01:34,166 --> 00:01:36,421 What? Buster, come on now, you know, if you're really lonely, 36 00:01:36,465 --> 00:01:40,021 maybe it's time you went out there and you got yourself a girlf.. 37 00:01:40,138 --> 00:01:40,963 a pet. 38 00:01:41,026 --> 00:01:42,160 How about a turtle? 39 00:01:42,225 --> 00:01:42,782 Great. 40 00:01:42,857 --> 00:01:45,510 I've always loved those leathery little snappy faces. 41 00:01:46,765 --> 00:01:48,232 Certainly have a type. 42 00:01:49,527 --> 00:01:50,902 Mother, have you seen my rubber hand? 43 00:01:50,966 --> 00:01:52,280 Oh, it's in the dishwasher. 44 00:01:52,345 --> 00:01:54,403 Your father and I were using it for something. 45 00:01:54,485 --> 00:01:55,570 Oh, for God's sake. 46 00:01:55,645 --> 00:01:58,111 Can't you keep my hand to yourself?! 47 00:01:58,257 --> 00:01:59,861 Huh... used it for something? 48 00:01:59,938 --> 00:02:03,221 He's just jealous that I have a man back in my life. 49 00:02:03,326 --> 00:02:06,033 And guess what else is back? 50 00:02:07,538 --> 00:02:09,072 My breakfast? 51 00:02:09,355 --> 00:02:11,121 My friskiness. 52 00:02:11,257 --> 00:02:13,012 Mama horny, Michael. 53 00:02:13,766 --> 00:02:15,171 No it's my breakfast. 54 00:02:15,257 --> 00:02:18,273 I'm amazed Dad hasn't strangled himself with his belt yet. 55 00:02:18,646 --> 00:02:21,372 Oh, we're into all kinds of freaky stuff. 56 00:02:21,448 --> 00:02:23,291 Why don't eat breakfast before I come here? 57 00:02:24,716 --> 00:02:27,053 What the hell is this?! 58 00:02:27,136 --> 00:02:30,831 Well, now that Dad's back, I'm going to perform one grand illusion for him 59 00:02:30,876 --> 00:02:33,230 before he strangles himself with his belt. 60 00:02:33,317 --> 00:02:34,660 No, no, turns out, they're into that. 61 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:35,511 Oh. 62 00:02:35,606 --> 00:02:36,642 Well, check it. 63 00:02:36,967 --> 00:02:39,101 The illusion is called "Free Bird". 64 00:02:39,385 --> 00:02:41,480 A magical bird-- me in a beak-- 65 00:02:41,547 --> 00:02:42,872 stands on a platform. 66 00:02:42,945 --> 00:02:45,322 There's a puff of smoke, and I'm gone. 67 00:02:45,405 --> 00:02:48,582 Then seconds later, high above in a once-empty cage... 68 00:02:48,666 --> 00:02:49,482 who should appear? 69 00:02:49,576 --> 00:02:51,792 - A guy that kind of looks like you? - No. 70 00:02:52,336 --> 00:02:53,793 That's not how I do the trick. 71 00:02:54,226 --> 00:02:55,443 Even it was, 72 00:02:55,858 --> 00:02:57,180 how'd the look-alike get up there? 73 00:02:57,245 --> 00:02:58,980 - He was hiding behind this mirror here? - No! 74 00:02:59,408 --> 00:03:02,201 For your information, Dad asked me to do this 75 00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:05,792 on the day he pleads not guilty as a spectacular protest. 76 00:03:06,007 --> 00:03:08,692 A protestacular. 77 00:03:08,767 --> 00:03:10,750 Maybe even get it on the local news. 78 00:03:10,808 --> 00:03:11,702 Excuse me. 79 00:03:11,985 --> 00:03:13,811 I was just looking for a marker. 80 00:03:13,906 --> 00:03:16,590 A Magic Marker. 81 00:03:17,036 --> 00:03:20,043 I want it out of my living room. Put it in Buster's room. 82 00:03:20,226 --> 00:03:22,642 That's where she keeps things she has no need for. 83 00:03:23,437 --> 00:03:24,493 Oh, God. 84 00:03:24,978 --> 00:03:27,433 I'm going to run this trough again on "pots and pans" 85 00:03:27,517 --> 00:03:31,001 You know, Gob, instead of trying to impress a father that couldn't care less about you, 86 00:03:31,068 --> 00:03:34,712 why don't try spending some time with your son who's dying to reconnect with you? 87 00:03:34,776 --> 00:03:37,912 Gob had discovered he was the father of this boy. 88 00:03:37,968 --> 00:03:40,842 Then just tell him that Steve Hold stopped by okay? 89 00:03:40,906 --> 00:03:41,233 Okay. 90 00:03:41,305 --> 00:03:43,122 He'd been ducking him ever since. 91 00:03:43,688 --> 00:03:45,471 Tom... Come on over here. 92 00:03:45,545 --> 00:03:46,791 I've got a vitamine for you. 93 00:03:46,866 --> 00:03:48,472 Hey, he's the one who can't see me. 94 00:03:48,545 --> 00:03:49,893 'Cause we were hiding in the trick? 95 00:03:49,968 --> 00:03:52,980 Illusion, Michael. 96 00:03:53,407 --> 00:03:56,970 I so very much would like to be in your protestacular. 97 00:03:57,088 --> 00:03:59,132 As your look-alike. 98 00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,890 Right. They're going to see the ink. 99 00:04:01,975 --> 00:04:05,680 It's more of a leading man role. But it's *** dye that way. 100 00:04:05,865 --> 00:04:09,351 I guess I shouldn't have used a permanent... marker. 101 00:04:10,977 --> 00:04:12,933 Start to see why you want that divorce. 102 00:04:13,328 --> 00:04:15,710 Yeah... Well actually, I've been thinking. 103 00:04:15,787 --> 00:04:19,240 Instead of spending money on a divorce which can be slow. 104 00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:21,452 No. Maybe I should get something faster? 105 00:04:21,538 --> 00:04:23,170 Not the car. I said no to the Volvo. 106 00:04:23,248 --> 00:04:26,923 The Lexus. The Volvo didn't have satellite radio, which is crazy. 107 00:04:26,985 --> 00:04:28,131 I mean... What are we? Amish? 108 00:04:28,197 --> 00:04:30,121 I knew you wouldn't have the gut to go through with the divorce. 109 00:04:30,185 --> 00:04:33,221 You want to talk? You haven't had a serious relationship since your wife. 110 00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:37,442 And you guys, weren't even speaking toward the end. 111 00:04:37,517 --> 00:04:38,843 Lot of that was the coma. 112 00:04:38,928 --> 00:04:41,003 Yeah I've heard your side of it. 113 00:04:41,398 --> 00:04:43,302 You haven't got the guts to meet someone else. 114 00:04:43,495 --> 00:04:46,503 Look who finally got his pants on... 115 00:04:47,758 --> 00:04:49,230 You've got ten minutes. 116 00:04:49,697 --> 00:04:51,671 You got to get me out of here. 117 00:04:51,808 --> 00:04:53,533 You're the one that said no to prison. 118 00:04:53,595 --> 00:04:56,552 I was wrong. There, you just have it to shut your eyes and take it. 119 00:04:56,605 --> 00:04:58,201 Here, you have shut your eyes and give it. 120 00:04:58,255 --> 00:05:01,032 Now, listen, we can't go in there and plead "not guilty". 121 00:05:01,108 --> 00:05:04,640 We have to have someone big behind us, our own private Matlock. 122 00:05:04,697 --> 00:05:06,553 So I made calls and I got him. 123 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:07,380 Got who? 124 00:05:07,455 --> 00:05:08,783 Andy Griffith. 125 00:05:08,867 --> 00:05:09,932 What, you never saw Matlock? 126 00:05:09,998 --> 00:05:11,531 Not a real attorney, Dad. 127 00:05:12,288 --> 00:05:17,540 Now, for ten grand, he'll actually sit behind us in court and read the paper. 128 00:05:17,597 --> 00:05:20,233 For $15,000, he'll actually sit at the defense table. 129 00:05:20,327 --> 00:05:24,461 For $20,000, he'll twice lean forward 130 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:27,000 and whisper something in your ear. 131 00:05:27,736 --> 00:05:29,932 Oh. White suit, that's extra. 132 00:05:30,025 --> 00:05:32,873 Boy, that's an awful lot of money for the stupidest idea I've ever heard. 133 00:05:32,945 --> 00:05:34,930 The juries love him. 134 00:05:35,018 --> 00:05:39,093 That's just it, Dad. There won't be a jury because we are pleading guilty. 135 00:05:39,178 --> 00:05:40,320 I am not guil... 136 00:05:40,978 --> 00:05:42,701 All right, I didn't want to tell you this. 137 00:05:42,987 --> 00:05:44,462 Are you ready for the bombshell? 138 00:05:44,555 --> 00:05:45,973 Andy Griffith wasn't the bombshell? 139 00:05:46,035 --> 00:05:47,011 I'm a patsy. 140 00:05:47,086 --> 00:05:48,191 I was set up. 141 00:05:48,266 --> 00:05:49,673 By the Brits. 142 00:05:49,795 --> 00:05:53,241 A group of British builders operating outside the O.C... 143 00:05:53,308 --> 00:05:53,910 Don't call it that. 144 00:05:54,012 --> 00:05:57,500 ...contacted me for a partnership to build homes overseas. 145 00:05:57,563 --> 00:06:00,031 I did not know they meant Iraq. 146 00:06:00,092 --> 00:06:02,423 We've got a picture of you with Saddam Hussein. 147 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,483 I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi. 148 00:06:05,555 --> 00:06:08,160 - Come on. - I told him how much I liked his work. 149 00:06:08,278 --> 00:06:10,982 Anyway, the Brits used that picture to blackmail me. 150 00:06:11,036 --> 00:06:13,702 A picture like that, Michael, can end your career. 151 00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:15,192 Not in every case. 152 00:06:16,078 --> 00:06:17,610 These are dangerous people, Michael. 153 00:06:17,666 --> 00:06:21,011 They'll do whatever it takes to get inside this family and just bring us down. 154 00:06:21,086 --> 00:06:22,082 British people? 155 00:06:22,148 --> 00:06:27,082 Oh, they're polite and the men all sound gay, but they will rip out your heart. 156 00:06:27,135 --> 00:06:29,203 And their breath... 157 00:06:29,265 --> 00:06:30,610 And you want to go after these people? 158 00:06:30,675 --> 00:06:32,942 Well, yes, it takes a little courage, Michael. 159 00:06:33,235 --> 00:06:35,140 I know that's not your strongest suit. 160 00:06:35,205 --> 00:06:38,693 You're even scared to ask a girl out on a date. 161 00:06:38,757 --> 00:06:41,480 What? Why does everybody think that I'm scared of girls? 162 00:06:41,545 --> 00:06:42,603 Because you're a chicken. 163 00:06:42,677 --> 00:06:43,661 You're a chicken! 164 00:06:43,725 --> 00:06:45,030 Coo-coo ca-cha! 165 00:06:45,246 --> 00:06:46,683 Coo-coo ca-cha! 166 00:06:47,148 --> 00:06:48,240 What are you doing? 167 00:06:48,315 --> 00:06:51,471 Michael and women?! A-koodle-doodle doo! 168 00:06:51,507 --> 00:06:54,063 That's what I was just telling him. Cha! Cha! 169 00:06:54,118 --> 00:06:56,942 Look, I haven't found the right girl. When I do, I will ask her out. 170 00:06:57,008 --> 00:06:59,690 Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken? 171 00:07:00,117 --> 00:07:01,952 Wait, wait, wait! I got the perfect thing! 172 00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,000 That's enough. 173 00:07:04,308 --> 00:07:08,103 I will give it one day, all right? I'll see if there's any evidence of these nefarious Brits, 174 00:07:08,148 --> 00:07:10,710 but I'm warning you, if I can't, we're pleading guilty, 175 00:07:10,757 --> 00:07:14,210 and you're either going back to jail or if the judge shows absolutely no mercy at all, 176 00:07:14,268 --> 00:07:15,840 you'll be staying here with my mother. 177 00:07:16,118 --> 00:07:19,600 Lindsay, didn't want to tell you earlier, but I did get you a car. 178 00:07:19,748 --> 00:07:20,852 Is it a Lexus? 179 00:07:20,926 --> 00:07:21,983 It's more like a Lincoln. 180 00:07:22,077 --> 00:07:25,850 Cock-a-caw! Cock-a-caw! Cock-a-caw! 181 00:07:30,437 --> 00:07:32,093 Oh, come on! 182 00:07:32,728 --> 00:07:35,851 There's no satellite radio, but there's a banjo in the closet. 183 00:07:35,958 --> 00:07:38,092 And watch out for live-ins. 184 00:07:38,176 --> 00:07:39,701 You will get some live-ins. 185 00:07:46,476 --> 00:07:51,771 Michael was investigating his father's case in the English section of Orange County. 186 00:07:51,836 --> 00:07:53,602 Lanes reverse, mate! 187 00:07:53,735 --> 00:07:56,642 You're driving on the wrong side, you blooming idiot! 188 00:07:56,746 --> 00:08:00,423 I need to check the records for any British-owned building businesses 189 00:08:00,485 --> 00:08:03,041 that would've applied for a license about ten years ago. 190 00:08:03,096 --> 00:08:04,512 Oh, I'm so sorry. 191 00:08:04,575 --> 00:08:07,711 You'll need a UK passport to check those files. 192 00:08:07,846 --> 00:08:10,763 They're for British eyes only. 193 00:08:12,788 --> 00:08:14,273 Don't I look kind of British? 194 00:08:14,395 --> 00:08:16,380 Perhaps if you're willing to lose 20 pounds. 195 00:08:16,458 --> 00:08:20,671 The clerk was asking for a bribe, but this was lost on Michael. 196 00:08:20,735 --> 00:08:22,370 Well, you guys do go for the jugular. 197 00:08:22,438 --> 00:08:24,843 If you find someone with a passport, we're here 'til 8:00. 198 00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,431 And do stay for the Poppuns. 199 00:08:27,077 --> 00:08:29,223 So Michael went to the local pub... 200 00:08:29,307 --> 00:08:30,261 Bloody Yank! 201 00:08:30,326 --> 00:08:33,120 ...to see if he could find someone with a British passport. 202 00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:37,290 Welcome to the Yellowfang. I am Lionel, and the soup of the day is... 203 00:08:37,376 --> 00:08:39,321 What's the soup of the day, Mum?! 204 00:08:39,385 --> 00:08:40,141 Bread. 205 00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,720 And the soup of the day is bread. 206 00:08:42,807 --> 00:08:44,692 Unless you're just here for the Poppuns. 207 00:08:44,746 --> 00:08:48,803 And that's when Michael saw the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. 208 00:08:49,175 --> 00:08:50,253 Not her. 209 00:08:50,665 --> 00:08:51,981 Wait for it... 210 00:08:58,868 --> 00:09:01,283 Are you from Wee Britain? 211 00:09:01,347 --> 00:09:03,102 Great Britain, actually. 212 00:09:03,188 --> 00:09:06,630 I was wondering if you might be willing to go somewhere with me. 213 00:09:06,705 --> 00:09:08,153 I would pay you. 214 00:09:08,696 --> 00:09:09,551 You'll pay me? 215 00:09:09,627 --> 00:09:10,532 Not... 216 00:09:11,076 --> 00:09:13,690 Not for sex. You're going to think that I'm Jack the Ripper, right? 217 00:09:13,755 --> 00:09:15,662 Didn't he kill prostitutes or...? 218 00:09:15,747 --> 00:09:17,181 I'm not a prostitute. 219 00:09:17,255 --> 00:09:18,951 Then I shall let you live. 220 00:09:20,298 --> 00:09:21,933 This is my worst hello. 221 00:09:22,037 --> 00:09:23,213 Let me try again. 222 00:09:23,408 --> 00:09:24,423 My name is Michael. 223 00:09:24,505 --> 00:09:25,480 Rita. 224 00:09:25,786 --> 00:09:30,283 I need access to these files that are apparently for British eyes only. 225 00:09:30,365 --> 00:09:34,660 Well, lucky for you, my whole face is British. 226 00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:40,270 It's just across the street here. I really appreciate... 227 00:09:40,335 --> 00:09:41,963 Hello.I thought you said you were open 'til 8:00. 228 00:09:42,047 --> 00:09:46,101 Oh, yes, GMT. Everything here is on Greenwich Mean Time. 229 00:09:46,598 --> 00:09:48,373 What a curious street. 230 00:09:48,897 --> 00:09:52,901 Rita... I don't suppose that you're here tomorrow morning? 231 00:09:52,978 --> 00:09:54,411 Oh, no, not in the morning, no. 232 00:09:54,487 --> 00:09:56,120 I'll be back at Slowbrooke. 233 00:09:56,198 --> 00:09:59,063 Slowbrooke. The private school? Oh, you teach kids, huh? 234 00:09:59,135 --> 00:10:00,852 I like to think they teach me. 235 00:10:00,927 --> 00:10:03,080 Like what, how to eat crayons, throw tantrums... 236 00:10:03,215 --> 00:10:04,813 Oh, no, not when I'm there. 237 00:10:04,947 --> 00:10:06,360 I'm very good. 238 00:10:06,426 --> 00:10:10,531 I-I didn't mean to, uh, impugn your ability, or, uh... 239 00:10:11,026 --> 00:10:13,481 It's turning into one of my worst good-byes. 240 00:10:13,586 --> 00:10:18,932 Farewell, and, uh... our paths shan't cross again. 241 00:10:19,938 --> 00:10:21,120 As you like it. 242 00:10:21,198 --> 00:10:22,812 Michael would have walked away forever, 243 00:10:22,878 --> 00:10:25,733 but he was struck by something he remembered from his childhood. 244 00:10:25,775 --> 00:10:26,523 You know... 245 00:10:31,737 --> 00:10:34,070 Well... must be the Poppuns. 246 00:10:34,448 --> 00:10:36,913 Oh, I'm sorry. It's wrong to laugh. 247 00:10:36,988 --> 00:10:38,821 No, no, no, it's good. I liked it. 248 00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:41,461 It's just, I was going to ask you, preschools just go half-day, right? 249 00:10:41,517 --> 00:10:44,692 And I'm not... I'm not trying to pick you up, but is there any way that I can... 250 00:10:44,747 --> 00:10:47,231 I can come by, pick you up, bring you here? 251 00:10:47,306 --> 00:10:48,632 Yeah, I-I, um... 252 00:10:48,705 --> 00:10:51,820 I suppose I could... sneak out at nap time. 253 00:10:51,925 --> 00:10:53,683 Yes? Perfect. Great. 254 00:10:53,736 --> 00:10:56,852 And I shall drop you off alive, hooker or no. 255 00:10:59,127 --> 00:11:02,013 Tobias, still hoping to be in Gob's trick, 256 00:11:02,085 --> 00:11:04,923 ventured into a costume shop he'd stumbled upon... 257 00:11:05,067 --> 00:11:06,401 Oh! Look who's back. 258 00:11:06,477 --> 00:11:07,391 ...years earlier. 259 00:11:07,465 --> 00:11:09,800 Are you going to buy this time, or you just curious? 260 00:11:09,875 --> 00:11:12,650 I suppose I'm, uh... buy-curious. 261 00:11:12,787 --> 00:11:14,322 I have a big TV opportunity. 262 00:11:14,396 --> 00:11:16,760 This is where all the big TV's come. 263 00:11:17,085 --> 00:11:19,202 Uh, let's startwith the Eve Arden. 264 00:11:19,295 --> 00:11:20,150 All right. 265 00:11:20,365 --> 00:11:22,510 Michael, meanwhile, called his sister. 266 00:11:22,606 --> 00:11:26,452 I wanted to call and tell you that I got myself a date with a beautiful woman 267 00:11:26,517 --> 00:11:29,810 named Rita, and you're the chicken, not me. 268 00:11:29,897 --> 00:11:32,010 Cluck-cluck-cluck-cluck... 269 00:11:32,908 --> 00:11:36,042 Okay, that's a pretty good chicken. 270 00:11:48,788 --> 00:11:49,623 Watch out! 271 00:11:50,117 --> 00:11:51,312 Crazy Brit! 272 00:11:53,328 --> 00:11:54,471 What's the problem? 273 00:11:54,565 --> 00:11:56,362 I know what you were doing back there. 274 00:11:56,467 --> 00:11:59,833 If you've got half a ( bleep ) brain, you'll leave it alone. 275 00:12:00,137 --> 00:12:02,640 You talking about back in Wee Britain? I was just asking a few questions. 276 00:12:02,728 --> 00:12:04,580 Yeah, a few too many, if you ask me. 277 00:12:04,656 --> 00:12:08,052 How would you like someone going after some stupid person in your family? 278 00:12:08,116 --> 00:12:10,462 Now, back off, you ( bleep ) ponce! 279 00:12:13,706 --> 00:12:14,662 Wow! 280 00:12:15,685 --> 00:12:17,792 Dad was not kidding about their breath. 281 00:12:19,566 --> 00:12:23,710 Michael had just been threatened by a foul-mouthed British man. 282 00:12:23,936 --> 00:12:25,513 It's Michael. I'm not dressed. 283 00:12:25,587 --> 00:12:27,332 Gob, this is Michael. 284 00:12:28,015 --> 00:12:30,811 Shouldn't you be getting ready for your "Free Bird" trick? 285 00:12:30,938 --> 00:12:32,512 I couldn't get the rights to "Free Bird." 286 00:12:32,617 --> 00:12:35,880 I'm thinking about calling it "Free..." I don't know, "Chicken." 287 00:12:36,145 --> 00:12:38,631 I thought you were investigating Dad's sinister British connection. 288 00:12:38,985 --> 00:12:42,301 Yeah, I tried, but... but when I was leaving, 289 00:12:42,376 --> 00:12:45,840 one of those British guys came after me and told me to back off. 290 00:12:45,906 --> 00:12:48,760 Can't believe it, but Dad may have been telling the truth. This might be dangerous. 291 00:12:48,858 --> 00:12:50,702 So you came back here to hide like a child. 292 00:12:50,768 --> 00:12:52,633 What are you doing locked in my office, exactly? 293 00:12:52,728 --> 00:12:54,342 Hiding from a child. 294 00:12:54,528 --> 00:12:55,362 Big difference. 295 00:12:55,437 --> 00:12:57,771 Gob, Steve Holt is your son. He probably just feels a connection. 296 00:12:57,847 --> 00:12:59,303 He doesn't know what he feels! 297 00:12:59,375 --> 00:13:01,102 I'm tired of being told... 298 00:13:02,738 --> 00:13:05,850 My God, what is this feeling? 299 00:13:05,955 --> 00:13:07,820 Well, you know the-the feeling that you're... 300 00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:11,511 that you're feeling is-is what many of us call "a feeling." 301 00:13:11,598 --> 00:13:14,431 But it's not like envy, or even hungry. 302 00:13:14,677 --> 00:13:16,033 Could it be love? 303 00:13:16,098 --> 00:13:18,733 I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. 304 00:13:18,787 --> 00:13:21,811 It's... it's like my heart is getting hard. 305 00:13:23,488 --> 00:13:25,582 Maybe I am ready to be a father. 306 00:13:25,665 --> 00:13:26,482 Hey, Dad? 307 00:13:27,698 --> 00:13:29,182 It's my son, Gob. 308 00:13:29,265 --> 00:13:33,290 What is it with the fathers in this family? Always trying to deceive their... 309 00:13:33,386 --> 00:13:38,970 And that's when Michael realized that the man who threatened him must have been hired by George Sr. 310 00:13:39,057 --> 00:13:40,592 I'm the patsy. 311 00:13:41,636 --> 00:13:42,982 Well, I got to go. 312 00:13:43,165 --> 00:13:46,762 George Michael, I'm sorry, but we're going to talk about that girl later, okay? 313 00:13:46,836 --> 00:13:48,643 Now all I have to do is find that look-alike, Michael. 314 00:13:48,728 --> 00:13:49,892 Michael... 315 00:13:52,118 --> 00:13:53,570 Hey! 316 00:13:55,765 --> 00:13:57,112 That's a woman's wig. 317 00:13:57,565 --> 00:13:59,771 I was told it was a "Bob." 318 00:14:01,978 --> 00:14:03,841 And Michael confronted his father. 319 00:14:03,927 --> 00:14:04,891 Find out anything? 320 00:14:04,975 --> 00:14:07,353 Yeah, I did, Dad. I found out that no matter how many times I promise myself 321 00:14:07,406 --> 00:14:09,892 that I'm not going to fall for it, I always end up getting hustled by you. 322 00:14:09,958 --> 00:14:10,922 What are you talking about? 323 00:14:11,007 --> 00:14:13,902 The guy that you hired to threaten me after I looked into the British connection. 324 00:14:13,966 --> 00:14:15,861 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Somebody threatened you? 325 00:14:15,937 --> 00:14:18,003 That's a wonderful performance, Dad. You're a regular Brad Garrett. 326 00:14:18,047 --> 00:14:21,843 But I don't watch TV at 3:00 in the afternoon. And you can forget about pleading not guilty. 327 00:14:21,896 --> 00:14:23,400 Guilty, we got to plead guilty. 328 00:14:23,506 --> 00:14:23,882 What? 329 00:14:23,956 --> 00:14:27,160 Michael, I didn't hire anyone. I-I-I swear. 330 00:14:27,218 --> 00:14:29,791 If someone came after you, they're for real. 331 00:14:29,857 --> 00:14:30,642 Come on, you're serious? 332 00:14:30,717 --> 00:14:32,712 I told you, these are bad guys. 333 00:14:32,786 --> 00:14:35,320 They do not want this information out. 334 00:14:35,385 --> 00:14:38,863 He said that he was going to come after somebody stupid in our family-- that could be Buster. 335 00:14:39,357 --> 00:14:40,721 Could be Gob. 336 00:14:40,995 --> 00:14:42,290 You're not guilty. 337 00:14:42,416 --> 00:14:43,500 We have to plead guilty. 338 00:14:43,587 --> 00:14:44,520 We've got to plead guilty. 339 00:14:44,596 --> 00:14:46,683 We've got to throw ourselves on the mercy of the court. 340 00:14:46,975 --> 00:14:49,441 - We got to get Andy Griffith. - Andy Griffith in the suit. 341 00:14:50,016 --> 00:14:52,720 And Michael went to cancel with Rita. 342 00:14:52,796 --> 00:14:57,171 Sorry. I just wanted to let you know that I'm not going to be needing your passport, after all. 343 00:14:57,245 --> 00:14:59,370 We're just going to go to court, plead guilty-- that'll be that. 344 00:14:59,457 --> 00:15:01,413 So it's bye-bye to Rita, then? 345 00:15:01,498 --> 00:15:06,041 Actually, I was wondering if-if you might want to... 346 00:15:06,508 --> 00:15:07,970 I wouldn't. 347 00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:09,960 I'll make you blue. 348 00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:12,980 Rita was just talking about the fingerpaint, 349 00:15:13,157 --> 00:15:14,730 but Michael didn't know that. 350 00:15:14,827 --> 00:15:20,090 I was just wondering if you might want to bid me fair 'morrow. 351 00:15:20,725 --> 00:15:21,972 That's all. See ya. 352 00:15:22,038 --> 00:15:23,993 Michael was filled with self-loathing. 353 00:15:24,225 --> 00:15:29,453 Had he been Jack the Ripper he would have soothed himself in a most unsavory way. 354 00:15:29,876 --> 00:15:35,043 But instead, he just sat in his car and ate a whole thing of candy beans. 355 00:15:35,445 --> 00:15:39,720 And back at the penthouse, Gob had been called to see his father. 356 00:15:39,786 --> 00:15:42,850 It's a new plan, right? You put me in the trick. 357 00:15:42,916 --> 00:15:44,381 You make me the guy in the cage. 358 00:15:44,456 --> 00:15:46,802 Okay, I just got to say I'm really blown away by this. 359 00:15:47,227 --> 00:15:50,161 You really want to be part of my world. 360 00:15:50,246 --> 00:15:50,980 I do. 361 00:15:51,146 --> 00:15:54,113 God, I feel like my heart is straining through my shirt. 362 00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:56,843 They take the ankle monitor off when I get to court, 363 00:15:56,908 --> 00:15:59,792 so you make me disappear, you put Tobias in the cage-- 364 00:15:59,867 --> 00:16:02,970 and by the time they realize that that guy is not me, 365 00:16:03,035 --> 00:16:05,620 I'm running through the storm drains to freedom. 366 00:16:05,686 --> 00:16:08,010 Where every day it rains... 367 00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:10,883 pennies from heaven. 368 00:16:14,946 --> 00:16:17,721 It was... "bird" today... 369 00:16:17,785 --> 00:16:21,080 Gob, I know you're looking for a twin for your illusion, 370 00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:23,482 and there's somebody I'd like to put in a plug for. 371 00:16:23,676 --> 00:16:27,513 Uh, correction-- make that 4,000 plugs. 372 00:16:27,638 --> 00:16:29,221 - Oh, God. - Oh, come on! 373 00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,362 Meestagay , he's bleeding! Meestagay...! 374 00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:36,573 No, no, no, no. I-I was scared too, but I realized it was of being a leading man. 375 00:16:36,645 --> 00:16:39,870 Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth. 376 00:16:39,938 --> 00:16:43,441 All right, listen to me, the trick has changed. We want you to play me now. 377 00:16:43,518 --> 00:16:45,990 Oh, but that would mean I'd have to sh... 378 00:16:46,837 --> 00:16:50,213 shave my very tender head. I see, okay. 379 00:16:50,296 --> 00:16:54,991 Well, perhaps I jumped the gun on those new head shots. 380 00:16:56,077 --> 00:16:58,992 And later that day, Michael arrived at the courthouse. 381 00:16:59,068 --> 00:17:01,291 I can't believe you're just giving up like this. 382 00:17:01,378 --> 00:17:03,521 The guy threatened our family. We have to plead guilty. 383 00:17:03,577 --> 00:17:05,600 No, I'm talking about that girl you said you had a date with. 384 00:17:05,666 --> 00:17:07,813 All right, so I lied-- it wasn't a date. 385 00:17:07,915 --> 00:17:09,221 But you could have made one with her. 386 00:17:09,298 --> 00:17:11,351 I think that Poppuns knocked the courage out of you. 387 00:17:11,436 --> 00:17:13,002 I guess I'm just not in her league. 388 00:17:13,146 --> 00:17:14,763 How did you hear about the Poppuns? 389 00:17:14,856 --> 00:17:15,843 It was on the news. 390 00:17:15,948 --> 00:17:19,271 An unlicensed Mary Poppuns takes down another tourist. 391 00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:23,160 Is this the work of the Itsy-Bitsy IRA? 392 00:17:23,297 --> 00:17:26,222 I don't want to talk about this right now. Dad, we're going to go in there-- 393 00:17:26,298 --> 00:17:29,420 Andy Griffith's going to whisper something, we're going to plead guilty, nice and simple. 394 00:17:29,496 --> 00:17:31,372 You didn't hear, we lost Andy. 395 00:17:31,436 --> 00:17:32,243 What? What are you talking about? 396 00:17:32,308 --> 00:17:33,432 He didn't like his trailer. 397 00:17:33,526 --> 00:17:35,181 He thought we were making fun of him. 398 00:17:35,266 --> 00:17:37,621 No one was making fun of Andy Griffith. 399 00:17:37,687 --> 00:17:40,141 I can't emphasize that enough. 400 00:17:42,067 --> 00:17:45,421 Oh, God, don't look now, but Gob's doing his magic show. 401 00:17:45,497 --> 00:17:49,261 Oh, boy, a stupid magic show. We got to watch this. 402 00:17:49,356 --> 00:17:50,670 A big turnout. 403 00:17:50,856 --> 00:17:53,133 I think a lot of people are probably here for the free chicken. 404 00:17:53,227 --> 00:17:55,080 Gather 'round, humans... 405 00:17:55,217 --> 00:17:59,123 and I will show you the plight of an innocent man who yearns to be 406 00:17:59,248 --> 00:18:02,992 free... as a bird! 407 00:18:04,236 --> 00:18:06,390 I've got to start labeling these suits. 408 00:18:06,515 --> 00:18:11,701 Who shall I send on this journey to that dangling cage? 409 00:18:11,778 --> 00:18:13,520 Oh, pick me. Oh! 410 00:18:13,627 --> 00:18:16,032 Look, can I be in his stupid trick? Please? 411 00:18:16,118 --> 00:18:17,840 Steve Holt, what are you doing here? 412 00:18:18,368 --> 00:18:20,883 I just came to see the magic show. 413 00:18:20,965 --> 00:18:22,181 I didn't know it was you. 414 00:18:22,266 --> 00:18:23,631 Do you like magic? 415 00:18:23,788 --> 00:18:24,910 No. 416 00:18:25,206 --> 00:18:26,460 I love it! 417 00:18:26,525 --> 00:18:30,883 And at that moment, Gob chose to show his own son what he was capable of. 418 00:18:30,996 --> 00:18:35,672 I've decided I will be performing the feat myself! 419 00:18:35,745 --> 00:18:37,453 Wait... we're back to hair? 420 00:18:37,536 --> 00:18:39,512 Fortunately for Tobias, however, 421 00:18:39,606 --> 00:18:43,401 he'd found it too painful to part with his new hair. 422 00:18:43,596 --> 00:18:45,652 Boy, did I catch a break. 423 00:18:45,738 --> 00:18:48,072 So he opted to wear a bald cap. 424 00:18:48,155 --> 00:18:52,923 This chicken shall be wrongly cooped. 425 00:18:56,538 --> 00:18:58,670 What's in his hand? Is that chicken? 426 00:18:58,696 --> 00:19:01,322 Oh, my God! Dad, are you all right? 427 00:19:01,535 --> 00:19:03,492 I fooled his own son. 428 00:19:03,627 --> 00:19:05,892 I am a leading man. 429 00:19:06,386 --> 00:19:09,592 And Gob himself was running through the storm drains, 430 00:19:10,376 --> 00:19:11,880 free as a chicken. 431 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:17,653 And George Sr. needed to escape, too. 432 00:19:17,726 --> 00:19:18,690 I got him. 433 00:19:21,457 --> 00:19:23,151 Keeps him out of the kitchen. 434 00:19:23,585 --> 00:19:27,211 And Michael, seeing what a life of cowardice leads to, 435 00:19:27,296 --> 00:19:29,182 decided he'd had enough of it. 436 00:19:29,276 --> 00:19:33,260 And soon, George came to, and it was time to render a plea. 437 00:19:33,355 --> 00:19:36,272 The prosecution's got that stud from LA Law. 438 00:19:36,808 --> 00:19:39,041 I love my trailer. 439 00:19:39,168 --> 00:19:42,410 In the matter the of People v. Bluth, how do you plead? 440 00:19:42,498 --> 00:19:43,670 We plead... 441 00:19:44,358 --> 00:19:46,000 not guilty. 442 00:19:48,275 --> 00:19:50,911 - Michael, what are you doing? - I'm tired of the cowardice. 443 00:19:50,975 --> 00:19:53,550 You're not guilty. We're going to fight this. We've got the truth on our side. 444 00:19:53,616 --> 00:19:55,803 They don't have a ( bleep ) prayer. 445 00:19:57,008 --> 00:19:58,741 Send the check to my accountant. 446 00:19:59,378 --> 00:20:01,620 This is where Andy could have helped us. 447 00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:02,843 Well, I'm proud of you. 448 00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:04,492 It's about time I showed a little courage. 449 00:20:04,687 --> 00:20:07,111 I just hope those Brits aren't as dangerous as Dad says. 450 00:20:07,185 --> 00:20:10,122 Well, they're not going to get any closer to us. If they do, we're going to see them coming. 451 00:20:10,388 --> 00:20:11,313 Oh, my God. 452 00:20:11,518 --> 00:20:12,590 That's Rita. 453 00:20:12,766 --> 00:20:14,790 I told her I was coming here, and she came. 454 00:20:15,598 --> 00:20:17,530 - That's Rita? - Yeah. 455 00:20:19,485 --> 00:20:22,740 Wow. She is way out of his league. 456 00:20:24,367 --> 00:20:26,060 I'm glad you're here. 457 00:20:26,205 --> 00:20:28,653 I want to call you sometime and take you out. 458 00:20:28,885 --> 00:20:32,521 Oh, I'd really like that. 459 00:20:32,957 --> 00:20:33,763 Good. 460 00:20:35,757 --> 00:20:38,901 And then just to prove he wasn't a coward, 461 00:20:38,986 --> 00:20:40,830 he went one step further. 462 00:20:45,055 --> 00:20:48,890 And Rita was happy to be in Michael's life, as well. 463 00:20:50,695 --> 00:20:55,021 For you see, Rita... had a secret of her own. 464 00:21:09,628 --> 00:21:14,540 Transcript: RaceMan - Synchro: Amariss - www.forom.com -