1 00:00:01,993 --> 00:00:04,871 Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything 2 00:00:04,954 --> 00:00:07,332 and the one son who had no choice 3 00:00:07,415 --> 00:00:09,709 but to keep them all together. 4 00:00:14,380 --> 00:00:16,758 It's Arrested Development. 5 00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:22,388 Michael Bluth and his family were meeting with their new attorney. 6 00:00:22,472 --> 00:00:25,808 Look, this is not the first time I've been brought in to replace Barry Zuckerkorn. 7 00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:27,936 I think I can do for you everything he did. 8 00:00:28,019 --> 00:00:30,897 Plus skew younger, with juries and so forth. 9 00:00:30,980 --> 00:00:32,106 Any other questions? 10 00:00:32,190 --> 00:00:35,610 Yes. How can you be even cuter in person than you are in your ads? 11 00:00:36,069 --> 00:00:40,990 Are you a CEO, CFO, or other executive facing these or similar charges? 12 00:00:41,074 --> 00:00:44,994 Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed? 13 00:00:46,663 --> 00:00:49,540 You don't need double talk, you need Bob Loblaw. 14 00:00:51,959 --> 00:00:54,170 Well, we're not here to talk nonsense to Bob Loblaw. 15 00:00:54,253 --> 00:00:56,714 We need to find out if the government has a good case against us. 16 00:00:56,798 --> 00:00:59,717 I mean, there is a lot of proof that my father was building houses in Iraq. 17 00:00:59,801 --> 00:01:02,595 Well, your father claims he was put up to it by a British syndicate. 18 00:01:02,679 --> 00:01:04,055 And you've been threatened. Isn't that correct? 19 00:01:04,138 --> 00:01:05,264 It was. 20 00:01:05,390 --> 00:01:08,935 How would you like someone going after some stupid person in your family? 21 00:01:09,018 --> 00:01:11,062 Now, back off, you... ponce. 22 00:01:11,604 --> 00:01:13,231 It's been a week, nothing's happened. 23 00:01:13,314 --> 00:01:16,901 Yeah, but you're not the one stuck under house arrest like a sitting duck. 24 00:01:16,984 --> 00:01:18,277 Oh, yeah, that's my father. 25 00:01:18,361 --> 00:01:20,988 That's why we had the meeting here, so that he couldn't interfere. 26 00:01:21,072 --> 00:01:25,451 Interfere? I'd have pulled down your pants and spanked your ass raw. 27 00:01:26,077 --> 00:01:27,286 I'm sorry, have we met? 28 00:01:27,370 --> 00:01:29,914 Yes. This is Larry Middleman. He's your father's surrogate. 29 00:01:29,997 --> 00:01:31,040 Surrogate? 30 00:01:31,124 --> 00:01:33,209 That's right, you dumb... 31 00:01:33,292 --> 00:01:35,294 I hired this guy to wear a camera in his hat 32 00:01:35,378 --> 00:01:38,131 so he could be my eyes and ears while I'm stuck in this penthouse. 33 00:01:38,423 --> 00:01:43,302 This camera helps me keep tabs on you idiots while this thing rubs my ankle raw. 34 00:01:43,386 --> 00:01:45,721 I mean, look at this thing. 35 00:01:45,805 --> 00:01:47,807 - I can't even go in the hallway... - Without hearing that... 36 00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:50,184 Beep. Beep. Beep. 37 00:01:50,601 --> 00:01:53,020 That's one of my partners. Excuse me. 38 00:01:53,104 --> 00:01:56,023 I would like to be one of your partners. 39 00:01:56,274 --> 00:01:58,401 Do you think he got that, the two meanings? 40 00:01:58,484 --> 00:02:00,403 He's running pretty fast. I think he did. 41 00:02:00,486 --> 00:02:02,488 Well, he was flirting earlier, I'll tell you that. 42 00:02:02,822 --> 00:02:05,408 Just so you know, I'm looking to get divorced. 43 00:02:05,491 --> 00:02:07,577 - Are you interested? - Yes. 44 00:02:12,206 --> 00:02:13,708 Let's call that a half hour. 45 00:02:13,791 --> 00:02:15,835 So you're not the only one who's got a date later. 46 00:02:15,918 --> 00:02:16,961 You've got a date? 47 00:02:17,044 --> 00:02:19,297 Her name's Rita, she teaches children at a private school, 48 00:02:19,380 --> 00:02:20,506 and we're just having lunch. 49 00:02:20,590 --> 00:02:25,011 Lunch. Well, better bring some dog food, 'cause all the girls you date are dogs. 50 00:02:25,094 --> 00:02:27,054 And dogs love dog food, right, Pop? 51 00:02:27,138 --> 00:02:29,599 Shut up, you idiot. I'm trying to watch the game. 52 00:02:29,682 --> 00:02:33,311 Just trying to make you laugh, Dad. That's all I ever wanted. 53 00:02:33,394 --> 00:02:34,854 ... and Smith, the catcher... 54 00:02:34,937 --> 00:02:37,315 You know, Gob, she's not a dog. It's just the opposite, actually. 55 00:02:37,398 --> 00:02:41,569 She's exquisitely beautiful. She's fun, carefree, smart. 56 00:02:41,861 --> 00:02:42,987 Full of surprises. 57 00:02:43,070 --> 00:02:45,948 Including the fact that she was working with this man, 58 00:02:46,032 --> 00:02:48,576 who was currently dropping her off for her date. 59 00:02:48,659 --> 00:02:51,704 Now, all this fun and carefree, eh? It's only gonna fool him for so long. 60 00:02:51,787 --> 00:02:53,748 - I'm a big girl. - Yeah. 61 00:02:53,831 --> 00:02:55,791 Well, if he finds out what you really are, 62 00:02:55,875 --> 00:02:58,169 he might not make things so simple for you. 63 00:02:58,252 --> 00:03:01,672 Rita, don't forget your hat. 64 00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:08,095 And who am I kidding? She's too good for me. 65 00:03:08,179 --> 00:03:09,305 How do you think I feel? 66 00:03:09,388 --> 00:03:11,974 Bob Loblaw's a handsome professional man. 67 00:03:12,058 --> 00:03:14,727 And I'm only used to, well, none of those things. 68 00:03:14,810 --> 00:03:17,980 Okay, Lindsay, are you forgetting that I was a professional twice over? 69 00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:19,857 An analyst and a therapist. 70 00:03:19,941 --> 00:03:21,901 The world's first analrapist. 71 00:03:21,984 --> 00:03:25,196 Yes, and you were almost arrested for those business cards. 72 00:03:25,279 --> 00:03:27,114 Yes. No, it did not look good on paper. 73 00:03:27,198 --> 00:03:29,158 But I didn't stop because of the police inquiries. 74 00:03:29,241 --> 00:03:31,577 I stopped to raise our little daughter. 75 00:03:31,661 --> 00:03:35,498 But since we both have started to grow hair in unexpected places, 76 00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:38,042 I suppose I shall soon be working as a leading man, 77 00:03:38,125 --> 00:03:39,961 and she may soon start dating. 78 00:03:40,044 --> 00:03:42,922 - Maeby had already started dating. - All right. See you tomorrow. 79 00:03:43,005 --> 00:03:46,050 - Another date with Steve Holt? - Yeah. 80 00:03:46,133 --> 00:03:48,094 - We're getting pretty serious. - They weren't. 81 00:03:48,177 --> 00:03:51,514 She was just avoiding her real crush on George Michael. 82 00:03:51,597 --> 00:03:53,224 That Steve sure knows how to please a lady. 83 00:03:53,307 --> 00:03:57,019 Good. I was hoping he would be gifted sexually. 84 00:03:57,269 --> 00:04:01,107 I mean, I guess it makes sense, you know, older guys expect certain things. 85 00:04:01,190 --> 00:04:04,235 - They do? - What a fun, sexy time for you. 86 00:04:04,318 --> 00:04:06,612 I'd be very careful of these British people. 87 00:04:06,696 --> 00:04:09,949 They're gonna try to get their hands on any evidence they can to hurt the family. 88 00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:12,785 - So you're saying, shred the evidence? - No, that's illegal. 89 00:04:12,868 --> 00:04:14,870 The prosecution is entitled to that evidence. 90 00:04:14,954 --> 00:04:17,790 - Without it, they don't have a case. - So you're saying, shred the evidence? 91 00:04:17,873 --> 00:04:18,958 That's a felony. 92 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,043 And I certainly couldn't endorse anything like that. 93 00:04:21,127 --> 00:04:23,879 - Gotcha. Wink. - Wink. 94 00:04:24,588 --> 00:04:26,590 Did you say "wink", or did you wink? 95 00:04:26,716 --> 00:04:28,551 He said that too, Dad. 96 00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:31,345 - We'll talk soon, folks. Thank you. - Where you going? 97 00:04:31,429 --> 00:04:32,930 Where's the surrogate going? 98 00:04:33,013 --> 00:04:36,016 Stay there. I wanna see what he's gonna say. Don't leave. 99 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,727 See you, Pop. 100 00:04:37,810 --> 00:04:41,021 You know, Gob, instead of trying to impress your fake father, 101 00:04:41,105 --> 00:04:43,149 maybe you should spend some time with your real son. 102 00:04:43,232 --> 00:04:46,610 - Steve Holt's not my son. - Steve Holt? What, the moron jock? 103 00:04:46,694 --> 00:04:50,030 - That's my son, you pothead. - Hey, that's my son. 104 00:04:50,114 --> 00:04:53,868 Wait, wait. So that means that Steve Holt is my cousin? And Maeby's cousin, too. 105 00:04:53,951 --> 00:04:56,328 I guess. Shoot, I'm late for my date. 106 00:04:56,412 --> 00:04:59,039 Yeah, at the kennel. Right? 107 00:04:59,874 --> 00:05:03,711 Sorry, you lobbed that one right over the plate, Michael. Home run. 108 00:05:03,794 --> 00:05:07,173 And Michael hurried to the British section of Orange County for his date. 109 00:05:07,256 --> 00:05:09,633 Crazy American. Get out of the road! 110 00:05:09,717 --> 00:05:15,014 Only to find that Rita had chosen Wee Britain's one American-themed restaurant. 111 00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:17,433 Hello. I'm sorry I'm late. 112 00:05:17,516 --> 00:05:20,895 No bother. I've been having such fun on this spaceship. 113 00:05:20,978 --> 00:05:24,231 Strike one, huh? Shall we go ahead and sit down? 114 00:05:27,401 --> 00:05:28,694 Hey, dudes. 115 00:05:28,777 --> 00:05:33,699 I'll get you a couple of 64-ounce colas to wash down this basket of doughnuts. 116 00:05:33,782 --> 00:05:35,034 And get your nachos stepping in. 117 00:05:35,117 --> 00:05:37,328 Guess this is what the British think of Americans. 118 00:05:37,411 --> 00:05:40,289 - We like our food. - Whatever do you mean? 119 00:05:41,373 --> 00:05:42,541 Yeah. 120 00:05:42,791 --> 00:05:45,002 You know, Rita, you're gonna figure this out eventually, 121 00:05:45,085 --> 00:05:47,671 but I have not been on a date in a long, long time. 122 00:05:47,755 --> 00:05:50,090 - Neither have I. - I wonder why. 123 00:05:50,674 --> 00:05:54,345 - I'll bet men ask you out constantly. - Not men like you. 124 00:05:54,637 --> 00:05:56,388 I seem to only meet little boys. 125 00:05:56,472 --> 00:05:58,474 Part of that might be that you spend your day at a preschool. 126 00:05:58,557 --> 00:06:00,851 And they think the stupidest things are funny. 127 00:06:00,935 --> 00:06:03,229 Yeah. That's a cultural problem, is what it is. 128 00:06:03,312 --> 00:06:06,649 You know, your average American male is in a perpetual state of adolescence, 129 00:06:06,732 --> 00:06:07,983 you know, arrested development. 130 00:06:08,067 --> 00:06:09,944 Hey, that's the name of the show. 131 00:06:10,027 --> 00:06:13,989 No attention span. You know, can't even carry on a typical... 132 00:06:14,657 --> 00:06:18,202 Michael thought he spotted the man who'd threatened him earlier. 133 00:06:18,285 --> 00:06:20,454 Well, I'm getting back on the space shuttle. 134 00:06:20,537 --> 00:06:22,831 No, no. I'm sorry, sorry. Sit, please. 135 00:06:22,915 --> 00:06:24,708 Let's talk about you. Tell me about your family. 136 00:06:24,792 --> 00:06:25,834 No. 137 00:06:26,710 --> 00:06:31,173 They're pushy, bossy, want to control me. What about your family? 138 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:33,634 I'd love to meet your family. 139 00:06:33,717 --> 00:06:37,721 Michael knew from experience that this would not turn out well. 140 00:06:38,138 --> 00:06:41,308 Usually once or twice a week we get... 141 00:06:43,644 --> 00:06:46,981 If you like the small, why don't you come back for the medium? 142 00:06:47,064 --> 00:06:51,193 ...seen on a windshield. Right? You can see that, right? 143 00:06:52,611 --> 00:06:55,114 I probably should warn you about my mother. 144 00:06:55,197 --> 00:06:57,533 - Hi. - Let's start behind the fridge. 145 00:06:57,616 --> 00:06:59,994 So he came up with a solution so simple, 146 00:07:00,077 --> 00:07:03,372 he wondered why he'd never told anyone it before. 147 00:07:03,831 --> 00:07:05,749 I don't have a family. 148 00:07:06,291 --> 00:07:09,545 I can't believe I've never told anybody that before. 149 00:07:09,628 --> 00:07:13,424 - That's so sad. - Yes, sad. Super-sad. Shall we eat? 150 00:07:18,137 --> 00:07:22,349 Michael had started a relationship by lying about the existence of his family. 151 00:07:22,433 --> 00:07:25,602 I think this went really well, huh? Maybe some time we can have dinner? 152 00:07:25,686 --> 00:07:27,229 Could I see your house? 153 00:07:27,312 --> 00:07:29,982 Michael was caught off guard by the question. 154 00:07:31,275 --> 00:07:34,028 No, no, I can't do that. 155 00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:36,739 - Okay. Bye-bye. - Bye. 156 00:07:37,614 --> 00:07:39,950 And he vowed not to be caught off guard again. 157 00:07:40,033 --> 00:07:42,369 Well, I didn't mean that we... 158 00:07:42,703 --> 00:07:46,290 - So, did he invite you over, then? - Not yet, but he will. 159 00:07:47,499 --> 00:07:49,877 So Michael went back to work. 160 00:07:50,294 --> 00:07:52,546 Hey, who brought in the wood... 161 00:07:55,632 --> 00:07:59,178 Gob, you can't shred this evidence. You'll end up in jail. 162 00:07:59,261 --> 00:08:02,181 Dad told me to. How can I say no to that face? 163 00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:05,684 Get this stuff out of here and put it somewhere where Dad can't get to it. 164 00:08:05,768 --> 00:08:07,311 Are you in on this too? 165 00:08:07,394 --> 00:08:10,939 No, I'm just here to go out to lunch with your father. 166 00:08:11,690 --> 00:08:14,276 And said he's never felt more free in his life. 167 00:08:14,359 --> 00:08:15,903 I'm like a bird up there. 168 00:08:16,653 --> 00:08:18,739 Did you tell him about my medal? 169 00:08:18,822 --> 00:08:20,240 Medal? What for? 170 00:08:20,324 --> 00:08:22,451 Who knows what they were saying. 171 00:08:26,955 --> 00:08:29,082 Thank you. Wow. 172 00:08:30,083 --> 00:08:32,836 - I have so many people to thank... - Private Asher, step forward! 173 00:08:33,128 --> 00:08:35,422 It's probably because a seal bit off his hand. 174 00:08:35,506 --> 00:08:38,425 The Army has taken to giving medals for being food. 175 00:08:38,509 --> 00:08:39,635 Just then... 176 00:08:39,718 --> 00:08:42,054 Wow, look at him go, tied to that deck chair. 177 00:08:42,137 --> 00:08:45,265 It's so simple. My ankle monitor... 178 00:08:45,516 --> 00:08:47,893 Only goes off when I go out the front door. 179 00:08:47,976 --> 00:08:50,187 We need balloons. A party. 180 00:08:50,270 --> 00:08:53,023 - We need to throw a party for... - Buster's stupid thing. 181 00:08:53,106 --> 00:08:55,025 Larry, go get some balloons. 182 00:08:55,150 --> 00:08:58,487 And Michael found a way to get Rita to his house after all. 183 00:08:58,570 --> 00:09:01,323 That's a great idea. Honour Buster. Tomorrow night. 184 00:09:01,406 --> 00:09:04,326 We'll get the whole family over to the penthouse, show him our support. 185 00:09:04,409 --> 00:09:07,454 Well, I suppose it's better than drinking alone. What time? 186 00:09:07,538 --> 00:09:11,291 Doesn't matter to me, I can't be there. I've got a date with Rita. 187 00:09:12,584 --> 00:09:15,087 Well Mom's probably right. I couldn't even stand up to a seal. 188 00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:18,715 - I don't really deserve a medal or a party. - No, you deserve this. 189 00:09:18,799 --> 00:09:21,009 Here. Take my business card. 190 00:09:21,343 --> 00:09:23,136 No, no, it's pronounced "uhnalrupist." 191 00:09:23,220 --> 00:09:25,347 It wasn't really the pronunciation that bothered me. 192 00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:28,684 You see, Buster, it wasn't the seal that you couldn't stand up to. 193 00:09:28,767 --> 00:09:30,602 It was Lucille. 194 00:09:32,854 --> 00:09:34,273 I'm getting chills. 195 00:09:34,356 --> 00:09:36,650 If this was a lifetime-moment-of-truth movie, 196 00:09:36,733 --> 00:09:38,944 this would be our act break. 197 00:09:41,029 --> 00:09:42,322 But it wasn't. 198 00:09:42,406 --> 00:09:45,492 And later Lindsay was on the phone with Bob Loblaw. 199 00:09:45,575 --> 00:09:48,745 ...Tobias, but he's never fulfilled me sexually. 200 00:09:48,829 --> 00:09:51,748 Can you catalogue for me the various ways you've been promised 201 00:09:51,832 --> 00:09:54,710 to be fulfilled, whether or not said promise was made explicit? 202 00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:57,462 - You want me to be explicit? - Yes. 203 00:09:57,546 --> 00:09:59,631 But I will be needing to get off in four minutes. 204 00:09:59,715 --> 00:10:03,176 Wow. Let's see if I can't hit that target for you. 205 00:10:03,510 --> 00:10:07,431 The next day, on the way to pick up Rita, Michael stopped by his house 206 00:10:07,514 --> 00:10:10,350 to make sure there were no signs of his family. 207 00:10:10,434 --> 00:10:13,186 Only to discover there was nothing but. 208 00:10:13,270 --> 00:10:16,148 - What the hell is all this? - Gob brought all this stuff in. 209 00:10:16,231 --> 00:10:18,900 And, Mom, what is with all the family photos? 210 00:10:18,984 --> 00:10:21,778 Oh, I'm teaching Buster to stand up for himself. 211 00:10:21,862 --> 00:10:24,906 - I'm surrogating your mother. - By wearing her sealskin coat? 212 00:10:24,990 --> 00:10:27,909 Michael, I have tried on everything and nothing seems to be working. 213 00:10:27,993 --> 00:10:30,787 I thought the Donna Karan worked, you just didn't have the right shoes. 214 00:10:30,871 --> 00:10:32,998 Look, I've got to get rid of any evidence of my family, 215 00:10:33,081 --> 00:10:36,752 and quickly, including you guys. Get out of here! 216 00:10:36,960 --> 00:10:39,337 See? Now that's how you stand up to Mother. 217 00:10:39,421 --> 00:10:43,133 Meanwhile, worried about Steve Holt's sexual expectations, 218 00:10:43,216 --> 00:10:45,469 - Maeby tried to cancel her date. ...my whole family and I 219 00:10:45,552 --> 00:10:48,680 now have to go to my grandma's house 'cause my uncle lost his hand. 220 00:10:48,764 --> 00:10:51,892 Awesome! So you and I can party alone at your house. 221 00:10:51,975 --> 00:10:54,352 Maeby was too young to know what to do. 222 00:10:54,436 --> 00:10:58,648 Ironically, in her after-school job as a movie studio executive, 223 00:10:58,940 --> 00:11:02,235 she'd just green-lit two films that dealt with the very issue. 224 00:11:03,111 --> 00:11:04,905 - Rock the house. - All right. 225 00:11:04,988 --> 00:11:07,449 George Michael also didn't know what to do. 226 00:11:07,532 --> 00:11:10,869 If he pointed out that the two were cousins to drive them apart, 227 00:11:10,952 --> 00:11:14,414 he might be burning the very bridge that he one day hoped to cross. 228 00:11:14,498 --> 00:11:15,957 Hey, George Michael, I'm doing your cousin tonight. 229 00:11:16,041 --> 00:11:17,459 So are you. 230 00:11:17,876 --> 00:11:20,545 - What? - She's your cousin, too. 231 00:11:20,629 --> 00:11:23,924 Back at the penthouse, party preparations were underway. 232 00:11:24,007 --> 00:11:26,927 He's not wearing that to the party. I've got the exact same thing. 233 00:11:27,010 --> 00:11:28,845 No, he was just analraping me. 234 00:11:28,929 --> 00:11:31,973 But then Michael barged in and kicked us out so he could shred all the evidence. 235 00:11:32,057 --> 00:11:35,227 - Shred the evidence? - Thought he didn't want us to do that. 236 00:11:35,310 --> 00:11:38,772 He didn't want us to get into trouble. He's taking the heat. 237 00:11:38,897 --> 00:11:42,359 He's doing that for us? And on the night of his date with Rita. 238 00:11:42,442 --> 00:11:44,486 Who he didn't wanna bring over here. 239 00:11:44,569 --> 00:11:48,365 Probably because, let's face it, you people haven't been great with the others. 240 00:11:48,448 --> 00:11:51,493 Well, in our defence, Mom, we're not exactly dog people. 241 00:11:51,576 --> 00:11:54,371 - We have got to start being nicer. - I'm starting right now. 242 00:11:54,454 --> 00:11:57,832 - Buster, the party's not for you any more. - Oh, okay. 243 00:11:57,916 --> 00:11:59,918 It's a "Welcome, Rita" party. 244 00:12:00,001 --> 00:12:02,546 I know where she works. We can pick her up and surprise her. 245 00:12:02,629 --> 00:12:06,132 You're so right. This is better than a party for me. 246 00:12:06,591 --> 00:12:08,593 Oh, come on. Grow a pair. 247 00:12:10,845 --> 00:12:13,390 You know, we need some weather balloons for this party, 248 00:12:13,473 --> 00:12:17,727 and maybe a tank of hydrogen. You know, really float those suckers. 249 00:12:17,811 --> 00:12:21,231 Meanwhile, Michael was hiding the evidence wherever he could, 250 00:12:21,314 --> 00:12:24,693 - when he heard from his brother. - Hey, friend, Gob here. 251 00:12:24,776 --> 00:12:27,737 We really want you at the party. We're really nice now. 252 00:12:27,821 --> 00:12:30,365 And, God, we love you. 253 00:12:31,116 --> 00:12:32,826 Oh, damn it. 254 00:12:33,118 --> 00:12:37,497 And the family picked up Rita in the only vehicle big enough to hold them all. 255 00:12:37,581 --> 00:12:39,916 - Hey. Excuse me, Rita. - I'm Rita. 256 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:44,045 We're here to pick you up for Michael. You can just go in the cabin. 257 00:12:48,425 --> 00:12:51,803 - Michael? - He's not here. 258 00:12:51,886 --> 00:12:55,056 - We're his family. - His family? 259 00:12:55,348 --> 00:12:56,891 We're nice. 260 00:12:56,975 --> 00:13:01,062 - I'm sorry. I have to leave. - Oh, no, you can't leave. Drive, Lindsay. 261 00:13:01,146 --> 00:13:02,689 Bye! 262 00:13:02,772 --> 00:13:05,358 - We're doing this for Michael. - Stop her, Buster. 263 00:13:05,442 --> 00:13:07,068 - Well, what am I supposed to do? - Stop her! 264 00:13:07,152 --> 00:13:08,903 - Stop yelling at me! - I'm leaving. 265 00:13:08,987 --> 00:13:12,824 And that's when Buster noticed the seal on Rita 's backpack. 266 00:13:19,539 --> 00:13:22,959 Hey, talk about cathartic. Now that's an act break. 267 00:13:27,964 --> 00:13:30,759 Buster had overcome his fear of seals. 268 00:13:30,842 --> 00:13:34,596 Unfortunately, he'd done so by knocking out Michael's new girlfriend. 269 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:38,433 - What the hell did you do? - You're curious, Mom? I can show you. 270 00:13:38,516 --> 00:13:42,187 You made a mistake. You're human, except for the hand. 271 00:13:42,270 --> 00:13:45,899 It's okay. She's alive and soft. Soft and alive. 272 00:13:45,982 --> 00:13:49,402 All right, let's not add that to the charges. What do we do? 273 00:13:49,486 --> 00:13:50,945 She's going to tell Michael. 274 00:13:51,029 --> 00:13:53,907 And he won't hear the good stuff, he'll just hear about the beating. 275 00:13:53,990 --> 00:13:56,117 Wait. Maybe we can give her a Forget-Me-Now. 276 00:13:56,201 --> 00:13:59,079 Here you go, hot dog. Take the pill. 277 00:13:59,162 --> 00:14:00,497 What's a Forget-Me-Now? 278 00:14:00,580 --> 00:14:02,707 They're pills that create a sort of temporary forgettingness. 279 00:14:02,791 --> 00:14:05,460 So, if somebody finds out how you do a trick, you just give them one of these, 280 00:14:05,543 --> 00:14:08,630 and they forget the whole thing. It's a mainstay of the magician's toolkit. 281 00:14:08,713 --> 00:14:10,632 Like how clowns always have a rag soaked in ether. 282 00:14:10,715 --> 00:14:12,759 Gob, this is flunitrazepam. 283 00:14:12,842 --> 00:14:15,720 - It's a roofie. - Those are illegal. 284 00:14:15,804 --> 00:14:19,516 Shut up, Mom. Don't make me give you another one of these. 285 00:14:21,601 --> 00:14:24,020 Lindsay, help me. Three. 286 00:14:27,232 --> 00:14:31,653 Back at the house, Michael finished his work, and now late, rushed to pick up Rita. 287 00:14:31,736 --> 00:14:35,907 Moments later, Maeby prepared to tell Steve she wasn't ready for romance. 288 00:14:35,990 --> 00:14:37,826 Well, this sends a mixed message. 289 00:14:37,909 --> 00:14:41,579 Just as Steve showed up to call things off with his cousin. 290 00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:43,331 You did all this for me? 291 00:14:43,414 --> 00:14:47,502 Yes. Well, I'm gonna go get sexy. 292 00:14:50,797 --> 00:14:52,799 And Michael missed Rita. 293 00:14:54,926 --> 00:14:57,804 Damn it. Strike two. 294 00:14:58,388 --> 00:15:02,058 Take it down. We don't want anything in this house that says "Rita." 295 00:15:02,141 --> 00:15:06,104 Hi, it's Michael. I will be coming to the party because 296 00:15:06,646 --> 00:15:08,314 I love you, too. 297 00:15:08,481 --> 00:15:10,650 Okay, we need a new banner. 298 00:15:11,484 --> 00:15:14,028 And that's when Michael found Rita. 299 00:15:15,697 --> 00:15:17,907 Why am I on a bus bench, Michael? 300 00:15:17,991 --> 00:15:19,492 I get it, because I'm late. I'm sorry, 301 00:15:19,576 --> 00:15:22,370 but the rest of the night's gonna be all about you, I promise. 302 00:15:22,453 --> 00:15:23,997 Great, great. 303 00:15:24,080 --> 00:15:26,916 I am gonna have to make one quick stop. Maybe you can just wait in the car? 304 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,918 It's just gonna be two seconds, I promise. 305 00:15:29,002 --> 00:15:32,505 And so Michael raced up to pay his quick respects to Buster. 306 00:15:32,589 --> 00:15:34,132 There he is, my favourite son. 307 00:15:34,215 --> 00:15:37,343 - Everybody's favourite son! - Mr. Wonderful! 308 00:15:37,969 --> 00:15:40,805 I had a great time, I wish I could have stayed longer. 309 00:15:40,888 --> 00:15:43,850 This is a great party, huh? Tell Buster I stopped by, 310 00:15:43,933 --> 00:15:45,727 - and please, I do have to leave. - No, no, no. 311 00:15:45,810 --> 00:15:48,229 The party's not for Buster any more. 312 00:15:48,313 --> 00:15:50,690 - No, Michael, it's for you. - Me? 313 00:15:50,773 --> 00:15:52,734 Take a look at banner, Michael. 314 00:15:54,193 --> 00:15:56,821 - You guys did all of this for me? - Yeah. 315 00:15:56,904 --> 00:15:59,115 - "Family love..." - Michael? 316 00:15:59,449 --> 00:16:01,200 Everyone froze. 317 00:16:01,284 --> 00:16:04,245 Michael feared he'd been caught in a lie about his family. 318 00:16:04,329 --> 00:16:06,331 His family feared they'd been caught 319 00:16:06,414 --> 00:16:10,126 by a woman they clubbed, drugged and left on a bench. 320 00:16:11,294 --> 00:16:12,545 It was awkward. 321 00:16:12,628 --> 00:16:14,130 Who's this? 322 00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:17,133 Mother, Mother, this is from the Army! 323 00:16:17,300 --> 00:16:19,093 I have to report for duty tomorrow. 324 00:16:19,177 --> 00:16:21,512 It says by accepting this medal, I was reenlisting. 325 00:16:21,596 --> 00:16:22,847 I didn't hear them say that. 326 00:16:22,930 --> 00:16:25,600 Perhaps if the Sergeant had spoken more slowly, she would have. 327 00:16:25,683 --> 00:16:26,768 ...in acceptance of this medal, 328 00:16:26,851 --> 00:16:28,311 you proudly waive all rights to private citizenship 329 00:16:28,394 --> 00:16:31,439 and hereby reenlist with the Armed Services of the United States of America. 330 00:16:31,522 --> 00:16:35,985 - If you agree with this, say thank you. - Thank you. 331 00:16:36,152 --> 00:16:38,029 What am I gonna do? I can't go back there. 332 00:16:38,112 --> 00:16:40,782 - I've never been... - Who are these people? 333 00:16:40,907 --> 00:16:42,575 This is my family. 334 00:16:42,658 --> 00:16:44,994 No. No, I don't like these people. 335 00:16:45,119 --> 00:16:48,081 Me, you mean. She means me, because I lied 336 00:16:48,247 --> 00:16:51,918 about having a family because I was embarrassed by them. 337 00:16:52,168 --> 00:16:54,170 And I'm ashamed of that. 338 00:16:54,629 --> 00:16:56,255 I have to leave. 339 00:16:59,884 --> 00:17:01,219 Strike three. 340 00:17:01,302 --> 00:17:03,888 You said you didn't have a family? 341 00:17:04,472 --> 00:17:07,850 - Everybody's favourite son. - Mr. Terrible. 342 00:17:09,519 --> 00:17:11,646 And her. Too good for us? 343 00:17:12,105 --> 00:17:14,440 Buster, you should have finished the job. 344 00:17:14,524 --> 00:17:17,652 - Job? What job? - Did I say "job"? I meant "Gob." 345 00:17:18,486 --> 00:17:21,114 Buster's the one that hit her, I just gave her the roofie. 346 00:17:21,197 --> 00:17:22,990 - Roofie? - Forget-Me-Now. 347 00:17:23,074 --> 00:17:25,201 You beat and drugged Rita? 348 00:17:27,578 --> 00:17:28,996 Take this and love us again. 349 00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:30,373 - No, no, no. - Just take it! 350 00:17:30,456 --> 00:17:31,582 No, Gob. 351 00:17:32,083 --> 00:17:33,793 I'm leaving, too. 352 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:39,799 Well, no good deed goes unpunished. 353 00:17:40,133 --> 00:17:41,384 Look, it's not all bad. 354 00:17:41,467 --> 00:17:45,137 I got Buster feeling better about his medal. 355 00:17:45,805 --> 00:17:48,516 Not any more. I'm getting rid of this thing. 356 00:17:48,599 --> 00:17:52,103 It has caused me nothing but pride and self-respect. 357 00:17:52,186 --> 00:17:56,023 Buster went to get rid of the medal he finally felt he deserved. 358 00:17:56,107 --> 00:17:59,110 But it was exactly when George, Sr was making his escape. 359 00:17:59,193 --> 00:18:01,070 Farewell to you all! 360 00:18:03,823 --> 00:18:07,577 It turns out that hydrogen is more explosive than helium. 361 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:21,132 And George Michael came home to find an unconscious Steve Holt. 362 00:18:21,215 --> 00:18:24,260 - What have you guys been doing? - I gave him a roofie. 363 00:18:24,343 --> 00:18:27,805 - A girl's gotta grow up some time. - He's your cousin. 364 00:18:27,889 --> 00:18:30,141 - My cousin? - I should have told you that. 365 00:18:30,224 --> 00:18:33,519 Now you've drugged him and had your way with him. 366 00:18:33,603 --> 00:18:35,146 Like, how is that even possible? 367 00:18:35,229 --> 00:18:36,897 No, George Michael, we didn't do anything. 368 00:18:36,981 --> 00:18:38,482 I just wanted him to think we did. 369 00:18:38,566 --> 00:18:41,944 Don't you see? I drugged him not to go all the way with him. 370 00:18:42,028 --> 00:18:45,698 Well, I think even the anti-drug people are gonna be okay with that. 371 00:18:45,781 --> 00:18:49,285 - Well, let's get his pants back on. - You took his pants off? 372 00:18:50,202 --> 00:18:54,290 And Michael tried to salvage the remains of the files from the car fire. 373 00:18:54,373 --> 00:18:56,042 - You call the attorney yet? - Yeah, I sure did, 374 00:18:56,125 --> 00:18:59,545 but he's not taking our calls because apparently the retainer's all used up. 375 00:18:59,629 --> 00:19:01,714 He took my call. He's very good. 376 00:19:01,797 --> 00:19:03,674 Yeah, that's how the retainer got eaten up, okay? 377 00:19:03,758 --> 00:19:06,093 The secretary took it all down here in a transcript. 378 00:19:07,511 --> 00:19:09,555 - She's very good, too. - I'm not paying for this. 379 00:19:09,639 --> 00:19:11,932 - Well, what am I supposed to do? - I don't know, Lindsay. 380 00:19:12,016 --> 00:19:16,062 Thing you say on Page 7 looks like it could be worth some money. 381 00:19:19,148 --> 00:19:21,859 - Speaking to me yet? - It's only been an hour. 382 00:19:21,942 --> 00:19:25,821 Here's what I don't understand. What were you guys doing with Rita in the first place? 383 00:19:25,905 --> 00:19:28,157 We just wanted to do something nice for you, Michael, 384 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,326 'cause you do so much for us. 385 00:19:30,409 --> 00:19:32,078 Guess we screwed it up. 386 00:19:32,161 --> 00:19:35,915 Well, I screwed it up because I was trying to impress her. 387 00:19:35,998 --> 00:19:38,417 Let's face it, she's probably too good for me. 388 00:19:38,501 --> 00:19:41,962 No, what you need to do is go to her and ask for another chance. 389 00:19:42,046 --> 00:19:44,673 She'd be lucky to have you, Michael. 390 00:19:46,675 --> 00:19:49,845 Thanks, Gob. Sometimes you do surprise me. 391 00:19:49,929 --> 00:19:52,473 I've got one more surprise for you. 392 00:19:56,894 --> 00:20:01,607 And Michael did try again with Rita, but this time determined to keep no secrets. 393 00:20:01,690 --> 00:20:03,359 I want to tell you everything. 394 00:20:03,442 --> 00:20:05,736 If you're willing to listen. 395 00:20:06,028 --> 00:20:08,072 I'm a very good listener. 396 00:20:08,948 --> 00:20:10,157 Great. 397 00:20:10,408 --> 00:20:12,034 I'll start with the misdemeanours, 398 00:20:12,118 --> 00:20:15,329 and then we're gonna push right on through to the lighter treasons. 399 00:20:15,413 --> 00:20:17,832 So, 1983... 400 00:20:25,673 --> 00:20:28,884 Lindsay tries to work off her debt with Bob Loblaw. 401 00:20:28,968 --> 00:20:30,928 I'm willing to debase myself. 402 00:20:31,011 --> 00:20:34,014 Get a maid's uniform and come by my house around 7:00. 403 00:20:34,098 --> 00:20:35,850 There's no way to misinterpret that. 404 00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:37,476 Except the one. 405 00:20:41,981 --> 00:20:44,984 And a traumatised Steve Holt needs a father. 406 00:20:45,067 --> 00:20:47,153 I've made a huge mistake. 407 00:20:50,656 --> 00:20:52,324 I know the feeling. 408 00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,076 I had you. 409 00:20:55,619 --> 00:20:59,415 I'm your father, Steve Holt. I can't hide from it any more. 410 00:20:59,999 --> 00:21:02,251 I won't forget this, Dad. 411 00:21:10,134 --> 00:21:11,343 I will. 412 00:21:16,223 --> 00:21:17,474 I will. 413 00:21:57,931 --> 00:21:58,974 English