1 00:00:02,068 --> 00:00:05,401 Now the story of a wealthy family who lost everything... 2 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,496 and the one son who had no choice... 3 00:00:07,607 --> 00:00:09,598 but to keep them all together. 4 00:00:15,148 --> 00:00:16,843 It's Arrested Development. 5 00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:23,019 Michael was heading to work when he saw something he had never seen before lunch... 6 00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:25,023 his twin sister Lindsay. 7 00:00:25,125 --> 00:00:28,117 - You're up? - Yeah. I work for our attorney now. 8 00:00:28,228 --> 00:00:31,527 Bob Loblaw. Of course. What is he thinking? 9 00:00:31,631 --> 00:00:33,690 - I mean, how's it going? - Lousy. 10 00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:37,065 You know, I only took this nanny job so he'd give me a free divorce... 11 00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:39,468 and then marry me so I'd never have to work again. 12 00:00:39,572 --> 00:00:41,904 But all he seems to care about is that daughter of his. 13 00:00:42,008 --> 00:00:44,101 I got my horse to canter today. First time. 14 00:00:44,210 --> 00:00:46,474 I've always wanted to make love on a horse. 15 00:00:46,579 --> 00:00:48,479 And tomorrow, we're gonna work without a lunge line. 16 00:00:48,581 --> 00:00:51,812 That's so funny, because I can put my leg behind my head. 17 00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:54,216 I mean, come on. I'm the nanny. 18 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:56,311 Of course. Who wouldn't wanna snog the nanny? 19 00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,482 "Snog." Is that another one of your new "Britishisms"? 20 00:00:58,591 --> 00:01:02,857 It was. Michael had recently fallen bum over noggin... 21 00:01:02,962 --> 00:01:05,226 for a beautiful English woman called Rita. 22 00:01:05,331 --> 00:01:07,231 Did I say snog again? Bloody hell. 23 00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:11,429 You wanna win over Bob, you gotta win over the kid. Here's what you do. 24 00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:14,098 You find something that you're good at and you share it with her. 25 00:01:14,207 --> 00:01:17,335 While you're at it, share it with us too, huh? And try not to act so desperate. 26 00:01:17,444 --> 00:01:19,344 Oh, my God. Did I miss a call? 27 00:01:19,446 --> 00:01:21,437 This is Rita. Just wanted to say hi. 28 00:01:21,548 --> 00:01:24,073 I'm on my way to the train station. Bye-bye. 29 00:01:24,184 --> 00:01:26,175 She's leaving. I gotta get over there. 30 00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:30,655 - Michael raced to the station... - God, is that how I look? 31 00:01:30,757 --> 00:01:32,952 Where Rita was being given her ticket. 32 00:01:33,059 --> 00:01:37,257 Here's your ticket and your instructions. Call me if you get in over your head. 33 00:01:39,299 --> 00:01:41,824 Hey, hi there, Rita. Hey! Michael. 34 00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:45,132 Hi. Where are you going, and how long you going for? 35 00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:48,430 You're right. You-You... Do not answer that. 36 00:01:48,541 --> 00:01:51,032 - You know, I'm not getting clingy. - Why are you breathing like that? 37 00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:53,044 I wasn't hurrying to come stop you. 38 00:01:53,146 --> 00:01:55,944 I was out on... for my daily, uh... Do you run at all? 39 00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:58,813 Oh, yes. I was in the Olympics once. 40 00:01:58,918 --> 00:02:04,049 - I won a silver medal. - You're that Rita Leeds? Oh, my goodness! 41 00:02:04,157 --> 00:02:06,785 And a silver medal, yes. And you came in second. 42 00:02:06,893 --> 00:02:09,760 Now I'm very embarrassed to be out of breath in front of you. 43 00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:13,299 But you take my breath away. 44 00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:16,493 Oh, Michael. 45 00:02:16,603 --> 00:02:18,230 You're such a !@%$#. 46 00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:22,273 Michael was stunned. 47 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:25,833 He assumed Rita was using the word !@%$# in the American sense... 48 00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:28,106 meaning "weak" or "cowardly." 49 00:02:28,214 --> 00:02:30,648 In fact, Rita meant it in the British sense... 50 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:33,548 meaning "sweet” or "gentle," as in "pussycat." 51 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,781 The Jerries aren't so bad. They're just being led by a rotten apple. 52 00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:41,827 Oh, Reggie. Fighting for your country, you're such a pussy. 53 00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:46,558 When I miss your lips, I'll put a @%$ in my mouth and think of you. 54 00:02:46,666 --> 00:02:49,157 That also had a different meaning over there. 55 00:02:50,803 --> 00:02:52,998 Michael returned home... 56 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,904 hoping to take solace in his son's company. 57 00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:58,341 I was thinking you and I should maybe go play a little catch. 58 00:02:58,444 --> 00:03:00,674 Maybe go for a run. Do some guy stuff. 59 00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:04,716 - But we're not good at that stuff. - Yes, I am. We... both are. 60 00:03:04,817 --> 00:03:07,047 Michael and his son had never been... 61 00:03:07,153 --> 00:03:09,678 a very successful athletic team. 62 00:03:09,789 --> 00:03:12,349 In fact, the only thing George Michael really liked... 63 00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:15,256 was hanging motionless from the monkey bars... 64 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:17,852 which the president's counsel on fitness ranks as... 65 00:03:17,964 --> 00:03:20,228 "slightly easier than the slide." 66 00:03:20,333 --> 00:03:23,962 Anyway, I was just thinking that maybe we should emphasize athletics... 67 00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:26,470 a little bit more in this family. 68 00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:28,700 I'm gonna start us off with a protein drink, okay? 69 00:03:28,808 --> 00:03:31,709 Still doing that, huh? 70 00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:35,269 Well, l-I do think we should go for a run, huh? Some real guy stuff. 71 00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,474 I'm supposed to go fabric shopping with Ann today. 72 00:03:37,584 --> 00:03:40,712 I think we can go butcher. 73 00:03:40,820 --> 00:03:42,788 Uh, uh, no. We're-We're making a gown. 74 00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:45,824 - She's gonna be in a beauty pageant. - Yeah. Who's Ann? 75 00:03:45,925 --> 00:03:50,885 My-My girlfriend. She's... You've met her so many times. You've met her and met her. 76 00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:53,898 I know who Annabelle is. Who's the Ann that's in the beauty pageant? 77 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,661 That's her. Her name isn't Annabelle. That's Ann. 78 00:03:55,768 --> 00:03:58,032 No, I know that her name is not Annabelle. I just... 79 00:03:58,137 --> 00:04:01,231 That's how I remember her name, 'cause her body's kind of shaped like a... 80 00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:05,004 She's the belle of the ball. What is she doin' in the beauty pageant? 81 00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:07,409 She's... Is she running the lights or something? 82 00:04:07,513 --> 00:04:09,913 She's in it. She's a-a contestant. 83 00:04:10,016 --> 00:04:13,076 - Sort of like an inner beauty pageant. - Ah! There it is. 84 00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:16,121 - Is it like a Christian thing? - Well, it's half. 85 00:04:16,222 --> 00:04:19,453 It's at the state fair, which this year's gonna be a church and state fair. 86 00:04:19,559 --> 00:04:22,153 It seems the state had run out of money... 87 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,628 and was going to cancel the fair... 88 00:04:24,731 --> 00:04:27,564 until it was resurrected by this man... 89 00:04:27,667 --> 00:04:29,760 who agreed to cover the fair's costs... 90 00:04:29,869 --> 00:04:31,837 if it included a church presence. 91 00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:35,339 I got some news for you. There's no such thing as an inner beauty pageant. 92 00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:38,137 They’re just gonna pick the chick with the best T and A. 93 00:04:38,244 --> 00:04:40,212 As a child, Maeby had been entered... 94 00:04:40,313 --> 00:04:42,406 into a number of progressive pageants... 95 00:04:42,515 --> 00:04:46,815 that claimed to celebrate beauty in all its forms. 96 00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:49,945 But the winners still tended to have it going on in the conventional sense. 97 00:04:50,056 --> 00:04:52,456 Remember how badly you used to want to win? 98 00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:55,026 - No, I remember how badly you used to want me to win. - We should have... 99 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:59,531 - I don't know where that hair of yours came from. - Shameless Plugs on Placentia. 100 00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:03,500 Looks pretty good, huh? And they're not licensed, which means big savings. 101 00:05:04,603 --> 00:05:07,869 That's been happening a lot lately. 102 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:11,137 - You know what? This is the perfect thing to do. - No, Mom, I'm not gonna do it. 103 00:05:11,244 --> 00:05:14,145 No, no, not you. Bob's daughter Hope. 104 00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:17,045 If I can get Hope this crown... 105 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:20,642 maybe her father might just wanna crown me, if you know what I mean. 106 00:05:20,753 --> 00:05:23,745 I'm guessing have sex, but that's meeting you more than halfway. 107 00:05:23,856 --> 00:05:28,850 Tobias, wanna clean up that mirror? And the vase? 108 00:05:28,961 --> 00:05:32,260 Perhaps if I could coach a certain young lady to victory in this pageant... 109 00:05:32,365 --> 00:05:35,232 I can gain back the respect of my wife. 110 00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,895 - I'll show them a little T and A. - You can't make me do it, Dad. 111 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:41,337 - Tobias and Ann. - My Ann? 112 00:05:41,441 --> 00:05:44,001 No, I don't... I don't think we need any help. 113 00:05:44,110 --> 00:05:46,010 Oh, George Michael, she's a girl. 114 00:05:46,112 --> 00:05:48,945 I need to teach her how to be a woman. Within her lies a queen. 115 00:05:49,048 --> 00:05:52,347 Let me out that queen. 116 00:05:52,452 --> 00:05:54,044 I think you just did. 117 00:05:54,153 --> 00:05:55,620 - Michael. - Gob. 118 00:05:55,722 --> 00:05:58,748 Let me get that for you. Um... 119 00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:03,454 So a young neighborhood tough by the name of Steve Holt's gonna be here any minute. 120 00:06:03,563 --> 00:06:05,690 - Your son. - According to him. 121 00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:09,894 - And a DNA test. - I heard the jury's still out on science. 122 00:06:10,002 --> 00:06:12,027 Anyway, he wants to go to the fair. 123 00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:16,370 But I don't wanna hurt his feelings, so I need you to do it. 124 00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:19,240 Just tell him that I'm out of town on one of my trips. 125 00:06:19,345 --> 00:06:23,076 - I'm not gonna lie to your son. - Come on. I lie to yours all the time. 126 00:06:23,182 --> 00:06:25,082 Michael, I'm not ready to be a dad. 127 00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:28,085 Plus, I'm gonna be very busy this week being a judge for the pageant. 128 00:06:28,187 --> 00:06:31,452 Gob had been a pageant judge for years. 129 00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:34,651 - You can't believe what it does for your sex life. - I don't wanna hear it. 130 00:06:34,761 --> 00:06:37,594 I don't wanna say it. First place chick is hot but has an attitude. 131 00:06:37,697 --> 00:06:41,326 Doesn't date magicians. Second place is someone weird usually... 132 00:06:41,434 --> 00:06:44,164 like a Chinese girl or a geologist. 133 00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:48,536 But third place, although a little bit plain, has super low self-esteem. 134 00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:53,408 So I step in and, uh, lay her crown upon my sweet head. 135 00:06:53,513 --> 00:06:56,607 Have I missed this euphemism? 136 00:06:56,716 --> 00:06:58,684 - Steve Holt! - I should go. 137 00:07:00,553 --> 00:07:02,987 He's hiding from me, isn't he? 138 00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:06,650 You know, you gotta stop saying your name all the time. 139 00:07:06,759 --> 00:07:10,422 It's just they have this father-son triathlon, and I just wanted him to do it with me. 140 00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,327 - Mmm. - Stupid, huh? 141 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:16,596 - That's a pretty tough race. - Only for a wimp, a wuss. 142 00:07:16,702 --> 00:07:20,103 - A !@%$#. - And Steve didn't mean pussycat. 143 00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:24,609 Uh, Steve, how'd you like to do that triathlon with me? 144 00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,109 - Are you serious? - Yeah. 145 00:07:26,212 --> 00:07:28,772 - Uncle Mike! - Steve Holt! 146 00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:31,543 Both men felt good about themselves. 147 00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:33,551 - Uncle Mike! - Steve Holt! 148 00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:37,180 But Gob didn't share their enthusiasm. 149 00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:40,817 So this is how Michael gets rid of my son... by stealing him. 150 00:07:40,927 --> 00:07:43,293 Well, I'll just have to steal something of his... 151 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:49,062 like, say, his bicycle, as a... placeholder. 152 00:07:54,207 --> 00:07:58,803 Michael was trying to prove his manliness with Steve Holt. 153 00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:01,539 Rita. Hey, it's Michael. Just wanted to let you know... 154 00:08:01,647 --> 00:08:06,812 that I'm running a triathlon at the fair, and if you're back in town... 155 00:08:06,919 --> 00:08:08,819 Oh, I can't believe I chose this moment to call you. 156 00:08:08,921 --> 00:08:11,913 Meanwhile, at the Church and State Fair... 157 00:08:12,024 --> 00:08:15,255 Maeby was trying to enroll in the pageant... sort of. 158 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:19,661 Your situation poses a problem. Let me talk to our chairman. 159 00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,595 - Hey, what are you doing, Maeby? - It's Surely. 160 00:08:23,703 --> 00:08:27,230 I'm just here to prove that all these pageants care about is looks. 161 00:08:27,340 --> 00:08:30,332 Just watch. Surely's inner beauty will get trumped by her outer icky. 162 00:08:30,443 --> 00:08:32,843 - What happened to your nose? - It's part of the disguise. 163 00:08:32,945 --> 00:08:36,278 Isn't it cool? The same one Nicole Kidman wore in The Hours. 164 00:08:36,382 --> 00:08:40,079 It had been purchased for her at a charity auction she'd attended as a studio executive... 165 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,177 - $10,000. - by Jamie Kennedy. 166 00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:44,188 You're such a dear. 167 00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:46,622 But I'm not putting you in my remake of A Thoroughly Polite Dustup. 168 00:08:48,794 --> 00:08:50,352 Miss Wolfbeak... 169 00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:54,695 although it costs quite a bit to put in a ramp for you, we got approval. 170 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,563 You're in. 171 00:08:56,669 --> 00:08:58,864 As Maeby found herself stuck in a beauty pageant... 172 00:08:58,971 --> 00:09:02,532 Lucille was meeting with attorney Bob Loblaw... 173 00:09:02,642 --> 00:09:05,076 about getting her son out of the army. 174 00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:07,873 I mean, my God. He's already lost a hand. If he loses a leg... 175 00:09:07,980 --> 00:09:09,971 how will we ever get him out of the apartment? 176 00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:13,108 Well, the army does have a “one in, one out" program... 177 00:09:13,219 --> 00:09:17,121 where the inductee is relieved of duty once he enlists someone to take his place. 178 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:20,386 So I'm supposed to find some poor, innocent soul and hook him? 179 00:09:20,493 --> 00:09:23,394 Well, that's not going to help sign anyone. Where's your hand? 180 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,464 It got stuck in the prize hole again. 181 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:28,898 I told you not to play that stupid game anymore. 182 00:09:29,001 --> 00:09:34,166 - Ow. There goes number three. - I wasn't playing it. 183 00:09:34,273 --> 00:09:36,207 I was just trying to get my other one back. 184 00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,971 Hi. Sorry, sorry. I totally forgot about this... meeting. 185 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,978 What's going on? 186 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,742 Your father's gotten a lot of bad press because of the escape attempts. 187 00:09:43,849 --> 00:09:47,250 - Volunteer for something. - I'll do anything to get out of this !@%$#% apartment. 188 00:09:47,353 --> 00:09:50,686 You'll do anything to get out of !@%$#% in this apartment. 189 00:09:50,790 --> 00:09:52,951 - Ah, you're drunk. - Yeah, Mom, can you just... 190 00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:56,256 And, Dad... You know, why do we even need the surrogate? 191 00:09:56,362 --> 00:09:59,092 - Dad's in the apartment... - Don't come in here. Don't come in here. 192 00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,462 Don't come in here. I said not to come in. 193 00:10:01,567 --> 00:10:04,169 - Would you get out here please? - I'm watching the game. - I said not to come in! 195 00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:09,105 - I did not spend money on a surrogate so you can just... - I lost him. 196 00:10:09,208 --> 00:10:11,506 I think you've got your hands full trying to make this guy look good. 197 00:10:11,611 --> 00:10:14,205 There's a "Startled Straight" program at the fair... 198 00:10:14,313 --> 00:10:16,975 which involves you speaking with at-risk male youth... 199 00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,244 to scare them away from criminal behavior. 200 00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:23,118 Okay. I can do that. I'm gonna need some big, blown-up photos of your mother. 201 00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:26,157 I think they're talking about your time in prison, Dad. 202 00:10:26,258 --> 00:10:28,226 Oh. Okay. Why not? 203 00:10:28,327 --> 00:10:30,955 I mean, uh, if I don't win this thing, I'm gonna be back there anyway. 204 00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:34,590 "At risk male youth." That spells "army." 205 00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:37,498 And that's when Buster discovered a recruiting pool... 206 00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:39,730 the government had been fishing for years. 207 00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:42,433 - I may head down there too. - Yeah, I don't know, Dad. 208 00:10:42,541 --> 00:10:44,566 "Startled Straight." I'm not so sure you're the guy for that. 209 00:10:44,677 --> 00:10:48,010 But I'll look into it while I'm down at the fair signing up for a triathlon. 210 00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:50,378 Triathlon? Do you know how hard a triathlon is? 211 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:55,079 People lose control of every bodily function. Didn't you ever see that video? 212 00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:58,486 It's like your mother on New Year's Eve. 213 00:10:58,591 --> 00:11:01,526 Actually, Lucille went down faster. 214 00:11:03,262 --> 00:11:07,164 You're not even in shape. You're gonna fall apart in front of everybody. 215 00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:09,564 - You're kind of scaring me, Dad. - You see? 216 00:11:09,669 --> 00:11:13,036 Perfect for this "Startled Straight" thing. 217 00:11:13,139 --> 00:11:15,232 Tobias was getting Ann ready... 218 00:11:15,341 --> 00:11:17,832 for the talent portion of the pageant. 219 00:11:17,943 --> 00:11:20,673 I think we need something with a little more spectacle in the act. 220 00:11:20,780 --> 00:11:23,613 Something that will make you look small and pretty in comparison. 221 00:11:23,716 --> 00:11:27,516 - A camel. - You know, she has a really lovely singing voice. 222 00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:29,588 I'll sing to the camel. 223 00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:32,385 Yes. We can Google some disco songs with the word "hump" in them. 224 00:11:32,491 --> 00:11:34,618 - Cute. - No, that sounds a bit racy. 225 00:11:34,727 --> 00:11:38,060 Okay. He may be afraid of sex, but you're not going to win without it. 226 00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:40,189 - No, I'm not afraid of sex. - Oh, good. 227 00:11:40,299 --> 00:11:43,291 Go have sex with this girl right now. Do it. Go. 228 00:11:43,402 --> 00:11:47,133 Get in there, have some sex with her right now. 229 00:11:47,239 --> 00:11:50,072 I didn't think so. Ann, you need to decide... 230 00:11:50,176 --> 00:11:53,634 whether you want a man or a boy. 231 00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:57,204 - I know how I'd answer. - Give us some room, George Michael. 232 00:11:57,316 --> 00:12:01,719 - I can't breathe. - Okay, now you're upsetting the talent. Out! 234 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:10,628 Michael, meanwhile, had begun training for the triathlon... 235 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:13,164 to keep from humiliating himself in front of Rita. 236 00:12:13,265 --> 00:12:16,291 Don't ask, "Can I?" Ask, "I can!" 237 00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:18,302 You can control your bladder when you're dead. 238 00:12:18,404 --> 00:12:22,033 No blood, no oil. There's no "I" in win! 240 00:12:31,016 --> 00:12:33,951 Michael returned confident in his manliness... 241 00:12:34,053 --> 00:12:37,386 when he ran into his son, who was questioning his own. 242 00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,549 How is that pageant going? 243 00:12:39,658 --> 00:12:43,526 - It turns out Ann doesn't want me around during it. - Really? 244 00:12:43,629 --> 00:12:46,291 Well, now you and me can go to that fair together tomorrow after all. 245 00:12:46,398 --> 00:12:49,424 - Yeah? - Yeah, and maybe do some man stuff like you said. 246 00:12:49,535 --> 00:12:52,698 Actually, I've already signed up for the father-son triathlon. 247 00:12:52,805 --> 00:12:55,103 Oh. Okay, great. Yeah. I did wanna do that with you. 248 00:12:55,207 --> 00:12:58,199 I mean, I've already promised Steve Holt. 249 00:12:58,310 --> 00:13:01,711 - You know, he's older. It's more manly. - You don't think I'm manly? 250 00:13:01,814 --> 00:13:04,510 No, no, it's just, uh... 251 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:07,279 Darn that Annabelle! She ruins everything. 252 00:13:07,386 --> 00:13:09,786 But the next morning, Michael awoke... 253 00:13:09,889 --> 00:13:15,020 to discover every muscle in his body was exacting revenge. 254 00:13:15,127 --> 00:13:17,652 - Oil? - And so was his brother Gob. 255 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,629 Hey, does anyone know why my handlebars are in my bed? 256 00:13:28,607 --> 00:13:31,872 The Church and State Fair was in full swing. 258 00:13:38,851 --> 00:13:41,820 And Lindsay watched with pride as Hope Loblaw... 259 00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:44,981 Did an original number that Lindsay herself had written. 261 00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:53,825 And now, please welcome Annabelle Veal... 262 00:13:53,933 --> 00:13:58,165 performing "We Three Kings" with a camel tow. 265 00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:07,612 Michael arrived at the fair sore from overtraining. 266 00:14:07,713 --> 00:14:09,874 Can't really go that high. I'm in a lot of pain here. 267 00:14:09,982 --> 00:14:12,143 Yeah, you know, I figured you'd be that way. 268 00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:15,049 So, uh, Coach gave me these. They're, uh, pills filled with oxygen. 269 00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:17,054 - Yeah? - And they keep you from being incontinent. 270 00:14:17,156 --> 00:14:19,056 Have one. They're called oxy-incontinent. 271 00:14:19,158 --> 00:14:21,558 Steve didn't have that quite right. 272 00:14:21,660 --> 00:14:25,426 But Michael thought Rita might be coming, and he was desperate to impress her. 273 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:28,898 Meanwhile, Maeby was trying to get knocked out of the pageant. 274 00:14:29,001 --> 00:14:33,233 Pope impersonator, Church. How has God influenced your life? 275 00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:36,638 About just as much as Big Bird and the Keebler elves. 276 00:14:36,742 --> 00:14:42,078 Well, my faith would have been shaken if he had taken my legs too. 277 00:14:42,181 --> 00:14:45,582 Uh, Gob Bluth, State. 278 00:14:45,684 --> 00:14:48,949 I was betrayed by my brother Michael. 279 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:51,284 Who's your favorite family member and why? 280 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:55,383 Definitely not my shallow, materialistic mother, who only cares about looks. 281 00:14:55,494 --> 00:14:59,555 I think we all feel that way about our mothers. And we all have legs. 282 00:15:05,037 --> 00:15:08,700 Meanwhile, George Sr. arrived at the Startled Straight tent. 283 00:15:08,807 --> 00:15:10,832 I'll be waiting out here with my enlistment forms. 284 00:15:10,943 --> 00:15:14,743 So go in there and scare them right into my open arm! 285 00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:19,841 But as it turns out, the fair had two Startled Straight tents... 286 00:15:19,952 --> 00:15:23,080 and George Sr. Had wandered into the church-sponsored one... 287 00:15:23,188 --> 00:15:24,917 You wanna be some guy's girlfriend? 288 00:15:25,024 --> 00:15:29,461 Intended to scare gay young men into a heterosexual lifestyle. 289 00:15:29,561 --> 00:15:32,291 You wanna have some guy reach around you in the middle of the night... 290 00:15:32,398 --> 00:15:33,990 - start messing with your junk? - Is he ugly? 291 00:15:34,099 --> 00:15:37,466 No, it's pitch-black. You don't... You don't see him. 292 00:15:37,569 --> 00:15:40,163 It never stops, guys... 293 00:15:40,272 --> 00:15:42,365 and everybody acts like it's no big deal. 294 00:15:42,474 --> 00:15:45,102 Is there a cover charge? 295 00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:47,838 And the inner beauty pageant was down to the final three. 296 00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:51,144 Will it be the beautiful Hope Loblaw... 297 00:15:51,250 --> 00:15:54,276 the stalwart Annabelle Veal... 298 00:15:54,386 --> 00:15:58,379 or the justifiably bitter Surely Wolfbeak? 299 00:15:58,490 --> 00:16:02,984 It became clear that Surely was going to win. 300 00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:05,461 I'm sorry. This is wrong. 301 00:16:05,564 --> 00:16:09,022 And that's when Maeby displayed some real inner beauty. 302 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:11,364 One of these girls deserves to win. 303 00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:13,062 She can stand! 304 00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:17,370 - Maeby? - That's how I know her. 305 00:16:17,476 --> 00:16:20,639 - Let us pray. - Oh, for God's sake. 306 00:16:20,746 --> 00:16:22,839 Praise the Lord! 307 00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:25,542 And Michael, now feeling a little woozy... 308 00:16:25,651 --> 00:16:27,710 arrived to see the triathlon course... 309 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:31,984 which consisted of several tricycles, five inflatable pools... 310 00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:35,390 - What the hell is this? - and fathers and sons being manacled together. 311 00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:38,657 Don't let it psyche you out. Did that oxy-incontinent set in yet? 312 00:16:38,764 --> 00:16:40,994 You knew this is what the race was? 313 00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:44,934 Kind of. I mean, they change it every year so you can't replicate it on your lawn. 314 00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:47,164 Why did you let me train so hard? 315 00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:50,605 - I just thought you wanted to hang out and do guy stuff. - This isn't guy stuff. 316 00:16:50,709 --> 00:16:55,043 I don't know why I thought that you'd wanna do this. This is stupid, huh? 317 00:16:55,147 --> 00:16:58,014 No, Steve, Steve. You're not going anywhere. 318 00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:00,551 - You'll do it with me? - We're chained together. 319 00:17:00,652 --> 00:17:03,883 But, you know, Rita's not here yet, and what the hell. Let's go win this thing. 320 00:17:03,989 --> 00:17:06,549 - Let's win this thing! - What the hell. 321 00:17:06,658 --> 00:17:09,718 - What the hell! - Let's win this thing. Let's go ahead and start up. 322 00:17:09,828 --> 00:17:13,229 And after the pageant, George Michael went to congratulate Ann. 323 00:17:13,332 --> 00:17:16,028 Congratulations on coming in third. That's amazing. 324 00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,399 And I heard you're the first camel act to ever crack the top 10 too... 325 00:17:18,504 --> 00:17:20,404 so that's, like, a record. 326 00:17:20,506 --> 00:17:24,340 And I'm a bit relieved, because, um, I was... 327 00:17:24,443 --> 00:17:26,877 I thought maybe if you came in first, you would have outgrown me. 328 00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:29,573 - Outgrown you. - Mm-hmm. 329 00:17:29,681 --> 00:17:31,205 That is the term I've been looking for. 330 00:17:31,316 --> 00:17:33,216 It seems Gob was right... 331 00:17:33,318 --> 00:17:36,116 about what happens to third place contestants. 332 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:37,711 I met a man. 333 00:17:37,823 --> 00:17:39,916 George Michael was devastated. 334 00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:44,792 It seemed he'd lost his girl and his father because he wasn't man enough. 335 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:47,627 And he was faced with a choice. 336 00:18:02,881 --> 00:18:07,909 Michael and Steve Holt finished their triathlon in first place. 337 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:09,920 Of course, they were way older. 338 00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:12,320 Believe it or not, that took about everything I got. 339 00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,449 I don't know what was in that pill, but I do not feel so great. 340 00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,687 - It's gonna get a little worse before it gets any better. - Really? 341 00:18:16,795 --> 00:18:18,092 - We won! - Okay. 342 00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:19,596 - Hey, possible nephew. - Oh, hey. 343 00:18:19,698 --> 00:18:21,598 Michael, your son's signing up for the army. 344 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,600 What? You signed him up for the army? 345 00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:25,636 Oh, my God, you're right. If he goes in, I can get out. 346 00:18:25,737 --> 00:18:27,762 - I've gotta get my name on his form. - Hang on! Hey! 347 00:18:27,873 --> 00:18:30,341 I gotta get there. I gotta stop this. 348 00:18:30,442 --> 00:18:32,637 Hey, you gotta do this with me. Come on. 349 00:18:32,744 --> 00:18:35,508 And that's when Rita noticed Michael. 350 00:18:35,614 --> 00:18:38,105 Wait for me. Wait for me. 351 00:18:38,217 --> 00:18:40,117 - Michael? - Hey. 352 00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:43,211 - Could you not finish? - No, no. First place. 353 00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:45,483 First place, I swear. But I'm sorry, I gotta go do something. 354 00:18:45,591 --> 00:18:47,616 - Wait, I'm dizzy. - Uncle Mike, come on. 355 00:18:47,726 --> 00:18:50,024 - I'll-I'll take you. - No, no, no, no. Steve, Steve... 356 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:52,063 Let's go. Come on. Come on. 357 00:18:52,164 --> 00:18:54,564 And meanwhile, George Sr... 358 00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:58,329 hadn't succeeded in startling anyone but himself. 359 00:18:58,437 --> 00:19:02,965 I mean, there's nothing to do all day except lift weights and fold laundry... 360 00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:06,306 get thrown into a cage with a bunch of sweaty men. 361 00:19:06,411 --> 00:19:10,040 Excuse me. I can't go back. 362 00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:13,175 - I can't go back. - I'm glad he won't be there. He's ugly. 363 00:19:13,285 --> 00:19:17,415 George Sr. Came across a U.S. Army combat Humvee... 364 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,423 and the pope mobile... 365 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:22,426 and he decided to escape in the bulletproof one. 366 00:19:24,129 --> 00:19:27,565 Come on. I can't go back! 367 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:30,863 - And Michael caught up with George Michael... - What are you doing? 368 00:19:30,969 --> 00:19:33,494 Who was three rungs away from being in the army. 369 00:19:33,605 --> 00:19:35,698 I'm becoming a man, Dad. Isn't that what everybody wants? 370 00:19:35,807 --> 00:19:38,571 Of course not. Gob, can you get us out of these chains, please? 371 00:19:38,677 --> 00:19:41,737 Oh, so you steal my son, and now you need me to save yours. 372 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:45,010 - All right, one key coming up. - He's a magician. 373 00:19:45,117 --> 00:19:46,880 Yeah. We-We need you to sign this form. 374 00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:48,850 No, it's good, Dad. 375 00:19:48,954 --> 00:19:51,388 There's all sorts of benefits, and it's like a family. 376 00:19:51,490 --> 00:19:55,551 But it's also an army of one, and it's no place for wimps. 377 00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:59,688 You have a family, okay? And I'm the wimp, not you. 378 00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:03,427 Because I could not take you being away in the army, all right? 379 00:20:03,535 --> 00:20:06,197 I love you. 380 00:20:07,305 --> 00:20:10,969 - That did it. - He's not signing up. 381 00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:13,772 That's too bad. I was this close to gettin' out. 382 00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:16,404 Hey, I think I'm gonna go get one of those corn dog crosses. 383 00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:19,712 - With all the "crucifixins"? All right. - Thanks, Dad. 384 00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:29,289 - Was that your son? - Yes, Rita. 385 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:31,954 Yeah. The most important person in the world to me. 386 00:20:32,064 --> 00:20:35,761 You really are quite a man, Michael. 387 00:20:35,867 --> 00:20:37,835 - Do you really think so? - Oh, yes. 388 00:20:37,936 --> 00:20:41,235 You're a complete and utter !@%$#. 389 00:20:45,043 --> 00:20:48,012 I can't believe we had to bleep that. 390 00:20:48,113 --> 00:20:50,013 It would have been such a nice moment. 391 00:20:51,350 --> 00:20:53,318 On the next Arrested Development. 392 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:56,444 Buster signs Steve Holt up for the army. 393 00:20:56,555 --> 00:21:00,491 No, no, you can't. You can't. I'm finally ready to be a father to you. 394 00:21:00,592 --> 00:21:03,755 - I know that now. - I don't go in for another two years. 395 00:21:03,862 --> 00:21:06,956 Well, as your father, can I sign something? 396 00:21:07,065 --> 00:21:08,965 And George Sr. Finds out... 397 00:21:09,067 --> 00:21:11,035 - that a fake pope mobile... - I'll see you in hell! 399 00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:16,299 ...can't stop real bullets. 400 00:21:16,408 --> 00:21:19,172 Thank God I wasn't in the Humvee.