1
00:00:04,568 --> 00:00:06,018
Yes.
2
00:00:07,070 --> 00:00:08,521
"Frenzied,
3
00:00:08,555 --> 00:00:10,723
"passion for art
4
00:00:10,741 --> 00:00:12,825
"is a canker
5
00:00:12,859 --> 00:00:16,195
that devours everything else."
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00:00:19,065 --> 00:00:20,583
♪ All these problems hanging
above ya ♪
7
00:00:20,617 --> 00:00:22,118
♪ I'll answer,
I'm proceeding ♪
8
00:00:22,169 --> 00:00:23,452
♪ To rub ya the wrong way
9
00:00:23,503 --> 00:00:25,254
♪ Hate to hate to love ya
10
00:00:25,288 --> 00:00:27,340
♪ Can't win a debate
with Dubya especially ♪
11
00:00:27,374 --> 00:00:28,958
♪ When the company cap
is Kenny lay me ♪
12
00:00:29,009 --> 00:00:30,909
♪ Sweatshops paying
pennies a day ♪
13
00:00:30,927 --> 00:00:32,762
♪ 'Cause big bank
take little bank anyway ♪
14
00:00:32,796 --> 00:00:34,380
♪ Spotted countries always going
to war for many days ♪
15
00:00:34,414 --> 00:00:36,132
♪ Bush playin' Family Feud
with Saddam ♪
16
00:00:36,183 --> 00:00:38,951
♪ Survey says,
oops, you're out of time... ♪
17
00:00:38,985 --> 00:00:40,219
Whoa! Whoa!
18
00:00:43,390 --> 00:00:45,024
♪ No more excuses or lies
19
00:00:45,058 --> 00:00:46,525
♪ 'Cause only truth
will survive ♪
20
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:48,194
♪ In time we've borrowed
it through ♪
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00:00:48,228 --> 00:00:49,662
♪ All of tomorrow is you...
22
00:00:49,696 --> 00:00:51,897
Dr. Brennan, Agent Booth,
he's coming around.
23
00:00:51,932 --> 00:00:53,449
Hey, there, Michelangelo, you hear me?
24
00:00:53,483 --> 00:00:54,817
You shouldn't call him that,
Booth.
25
00:00:54,868 --> 00:00:57,119
If he had a head injury,
he might think that's who he is.
26
00:00:57,154 --> 00:00:59,655
Something's poking in my back.
27
00:00:59,706 --> 00:01:02,375
And something smells terrible.
28
00:01:02,409 --> 00:01:03,325
Do you know your name?
29
00:01:03,377 --> 00:01:05,244
Yes.
Okay, what is it?
30
00:01:05,278 --> 00:01:06,412
I'm not saying.
Told you.
31
00:01:06,446 --> 00:01:07,963
You confused him.
No, I didn't.
32
00:01:07,998 --> 00:01:09,281
I'm not confused, I'm just
33
00:01:09,299 --> 00:01:11,133
not telling you my name.
See, he's not confused.
34
00:01:11,168 --> 00:01:12,752
Vitals are stable, no sign
35
00:01:12,786 --> 00:01:14,837
of concussion, but...
Who are you?
36
00:01:14,888 --> 00:01:16,839
Who are we?
FBI, that's who we are.
37
00:01:16,890 --> 00:01:19,458
Since when does FBI
cover billboard vandalism?
38
00:01:19,476 --> 00:01:21,260
I'd like to begin
my examination.
39
00:01:21,294 --> 00:01:23,012
Ambulance guy says I'm okay.
40
00:01:23,063 --> 00:01:25,147
Well, she doesn't mean you.
You're glued
41
00:01:25,182 --> 00:01:27,066
to decomposed human remains.
42
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,185
Huh?
We're gonna flip you on the board.
43
00:01:29,236 --> 00:01:31,237
Okay, let's do it.
44
00:01:31,271 --> 00:01:32,471
You three grab the head.
What's on me?
45
00:01:32,489 --> 00:01:33,689
You two grab the feet.
46
00:01:33,740 --> 00:01:34,774
Easy on the neck, okay?
47
00:01:34,808 --> 00:01:36,709
One, two,
48
00:01:36,743 --> 00:01:38,694
three.
49
00:01:38,745 --> 00:01:40,329
This is weird.
50
00:01:40,363 --> 00:01:41,497
Easy on the shoulder.
51
00:01:41,531 --> 00:01:42,998
Take it slow.
52
00:01:46,036 --> 00:01:48,821
What-what's on my back?
53
00:01:51,007 --> 00:01:51,990
Why is it sticking to him?
54
00:01:52,008 --> 00:01:53,542
Industrial strength adhesive.
55
00:01:53,593 --> 00:01:55,010
I got it.
56
00:01:55,045 --> 00:01:58,380
You know what, Bones, he was...
he was standing up there,
57
00:01:58,432 --> 00:01:59,765
sticking that to that.
58
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:01,050
He tripped over his bucket.
59
00:02:01,101 --> 00:02:02,968
The buckets falls
and he gets stuck. Right?
60
00:02:03,002 --> 00:02:05,471
There's a dead dude
stuck to my back?
61
00:02:05,505 --> 00:02:07,022
Bones, why can't
we just, you know,
62
00:02:07,057 --> 00:02:08,841
peel them apart?
63
00:02:08,859 --> 00:02:10,693
The adhesive has had ample time
to adhere.
64
00:02:10,727 --> 00:02:12,010
Pulling them apart
65
00:02:12,028 --> 00:02:14,847
would rip off Michelangelo's
skin, or worse,
66
00:02:14,865 --> 00:02:16,515
completely destroy the evidence.
67
00:02:16,533 --> 00:02:18,016
Worse than ripping off my skin?
68
00:02:18,034 --> 00:02:19,685
Well, this could certainly be
cause of death.
69
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:22,571
What?
70
00:02:22,622 --> 00:02:23,689
An anomalous projectile
71
00:02:23,707 --> 00:02:25,157
completed a transparietal
trajectory.
72
00:02:25,191 --> 00:02:26,876
Why can't you just be simple?
73
00:02:26,910 --> 00:02:28,527
Arrow through the head. Murder.
74
00:02:28,545 --> 00:02:29,879
Insect and rat activity
is indicated.
75
00:02:29,913 --> 00:02:32,498
We must be near
an open sewer.
76
00:02:32,532 --> 00:02:35,334
Oh, come on, man!
77
00:02:35,368 --> 00:02:37,136
Get it off of me!
78
00:02:37,170 --> 00:02:39,171
After we get back to the lab.
Yeah, it should give you
79
00:02:39,205 --> 00:02:40,923
and your new buddy
some time to bond there.
80
00:02:45,812 --> 00:02:47,513
We caught a good one.
81
00:02:47,547 --> 00:02:48,681
We've been over this.
82
00:02:48,715 --> 00:02:50,716
There's no such thing
as a good murder.
83
00:02:50,734 --> 00:02:53,736
Babe, I need your secret
stash of peanut butter.
84
00:02:53,770 --> 00:02:55,220
Hodgins,
I bring in my peanut butter
85
00:02:55,238 --> 00:02:57,573
for a little comfort food
every once in a while.
86
00:02:57,607 --> 00:02:59,241
For comfort? Why?
87
00:02:59,276 --> 00:03:01,527
I got a ticket this morning.
88
00:03:01,561 --> 00:03:03,061
Speeding?
89
00:03:03,079 --> 00:03:04,747
No, I turned
right on a red.
90
00:03:04,781 --> 00:03:05,915
Well, that's legal.
91
00:03:05,949 --> 00:03:07,917
Not at Broadway and Nash.
92
00:03:07,951 --> 00:03:10,252
It's like a police trap
over there.
93
00:03:10,287 --> 00:03:13,238
They just wait,
like fishermen after trout.
94
00:03:13,256 --> 00:03:15,674
I think you mean like
a deer hunter at a salt lick.
95
00:03:15,709 --> 00:03:17,259
Was there a sign?
96
00:03:17,294 --> 00:03:19,762
There was one, but
it was really small.
97
00:03:19,796 --> 00:03:21,680
Okay, well then,
you definitely have to fight it.
98
00:03:21,715 --> 00:03:23,549
Why?
Because it's unfair.
99
00:03:23,583 --> 00:03:25,768
Now, come on, if you can give me
the peanut butter,
100
00:03:25,802 --> 00:03:27,102
then the Jeffersonian
will reimburse you.
101
00:03:27,137 --> 00:03:28,137
Shouldn't I just
102
00:03:28,188 --> 00:03:30,589
pay the fine
and get on with my life?
103
00:03:31,808 --> 00:03:33,592
What?
104
00:03:33,610 --> 00:03:36,595
Where is the spark plug
that I married?
105
00:03:36,613 --> 00:03:40,699
The spark plug you married
conducted an unfettered sex life
106
00:03:40,734 --> 00:03:43,485
and never lived anywhere
for more than a couple of years.
107
00:03:43,537 --> 00:03:44,887
You want her back around?
108
00:03:44,921 --> 00:03:46,939
There's really no way to answer
that without making you mad.
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00:03:46,957 --> 00:03:48,123
Babe,
110
00:03:48,158 --> 00:03:49,241
peanut butter.
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00:03:49,275 --> 00:03:50,709
Cover your eyes.
112
00:04:01,955 --> 00:04:03,339
Are we allowed to laugh?
113
00:04:03,390 --> 00:04:05,123
No.
Okay.
114
00:04:05,141 --> 00:04:06,976
What are we calling the
one that's still alive?
115
00:04:07,010 --> 00:04:08,310
Well, Booth calls him
Michelangelo.
116
00:04:08,345 --> 00:04:09,345
Michelangelo
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00:04:09,396 --> 00:04:10,646
worked on commission.
118
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,681
That's no kind of real artist.
119
00:04:12,732 --> 00:04:14,400
Michelangelo's no
kind of real artist.
120
00:04:14,434 --> 00:04:15,601
Good to know.
121
00:04:15,635 --> 00:04:16,852
Why won't you tell us your name?
122
00:04:16,903 --> 00:04:18,320
'Cause I don't want you
to know it.
123
00:04:18,355 --> 00:04:20,389
Kind of obvious, right?
124
00:04:20,423 --> 00:04:23,475
Large, rugged pelvis suggests
the victim was a Caucasian male.
125
00:04:23,493 --> 00:04:24,910
I have a large, rugged pelvis?
126
00:04:24,945 --> 00:04:26,946
Boo-ya!
127
00:04:26,980 --> 00:04:28,981
Not you,
the murder victim.
128
00:04:28,999 --> 00:04:30,482
Upper margin formation
129
00:04:30,517 --> 00:04:33,535
on the pubic synthesis
indicates early 30s.
130
00:04:33,587 --> 00:04:34,954
The victim's C5
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00:04:34,988 --> 00:04:37,172
and C6 vertebrae
have been fused.
132
00:04:37,207 --> 00:04:38,524
Uncommon for
someone that young.
133
00:04:38,558 --> 00:04:41,460
Hmm. If we find the doctor
who performed the procedure,
134
00:04:41,494 --> 00:04:43,629
we can identify the victim.
135
00:04:43,663 --> 00:04:45,681
How about the corpse
that's trying to sodomize me?
136
00:04:45,715 --> 00:04:47,967
We have to separate Michelangelo
and the corpse.
137
00:04:48,001 --> 00:04:49,167
There we go.
138
00:04:49,185 --> 00:04:50,669
What about a laser?
139
00:04:50,687 --> 00:04:52,004
No, no lasers.
140
00:04:52,022 --> 00:04:55,808
I-I agree with the smart
and beautiful angel.
141
00:04:55,842 --> 00:04:58,394
Well, the smart and beautiful
angel is gonna go find out
142
00:04:58,445 --> 00:05:00,279
who fused our
victim's neck bones.
143
00:05:00,313 --> 00:05:02,448
Okay, fracture lines
144
00:05:02,482 --> 00:05:04,566
from the obscured region
and onto the zygomatic,
145
00:05:04,618 --> 00:05:07,403
indicative of a perimortem
trauma to the facial bones.
146
00:05:07,454 --> 00:05:08,821
The arrow's clearly visible
147
00:05:08,855 --> 00:05:10,823
on either side
of the victim's skull,
148
00:05:10,857 --> 00:05:12,691
but it didn't
actually pierce it.
149
00:05:12,709 --> 00:05:14,209
Steve Martin?
150
00:05:14,244 --> 00:05:15,244
Michelangelo's real name
151
00:05:15,295 --> 00:05:16,712
is Steve Martin?
152
00:05:16,746 --> 00:05:17,746
It's a gag.
153
00:05:17,797 --> 00:05:19,164
The ends of the arrows
154
00:05:19,198 --> 00:05:20,916
are connected
to a plastic headband.
155
00:05:20,967 --> 00:05:22,284
Steve Martin?
156
00:05:22,319 --> 00:05:23,502
No?
It's a gag.
157
00:05:23,536 --> 00:05:24,720
Thus, irrelevant.
158
00:05:24,754 --> 00:05:27,589
Mr. Fisher, find a way
to separate Michelangelo
159
00:05:27,641 --> 00:05:29,391
and Steve Martin
without damaging the evidence.
160
00:05:29,426 --> 00:05:31,427
Okay.
161
00:05:31,478 --> 00:05:35,564
Everyone here is this weird
combo of smart and dumb.
162
00:05:35,598 --> 00:05:37,016
Hey.
163
00:05:37,050 --> 00:05:38,517
Dr. Saroyan nixed the laser.
164
00:05:38,551 --> 00:05:40,385
I knew she would,
which is why I brought this.
165
00:05:40,403 --> 00:05:42,404
Oh, God, what did he bring?
166
00:05:42,439 --> 00:05:43,572
Peanut butter.
167
00:05:43,606 --> 00:05:45,274
Peanut butter?
168
00:05:45,325 --> 00:05:47,192
I'm not a piece of toast.
169
00:05:47,226 --> 00:05:50,095
The oils in the peanut butter
will break down the cohesion
170
00:05:50,130 --> 00:05:51,563
of the cyanoacrylates.
171
00:05:51,581 --> 00:05:53,632
The glue will unstick.
172
00:05:53,667 --> 00:05:54,917
This guy's gonna rub me down
173
00:05:54,951 --> 00:05:56,769
with peanut butter?
Yep,
174
00:05:56,803 --> 00:05:57,753
and then cut off your clothes.
175
00:05:57,787 --> 00:05:58,904
Um...
How's about
176
00:05:58,922 --> 00:06:00,072
she does that?
177
00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:01,674
Did you do that?
178
00:06:01,708 --> 00:06:03,625
No.
Oh, my God.
179
00:06:03,677 --> 00:06:05,127
You're-you're Zed.
180
00:06:05,178 --> 00:06:06,445
No, I'm not.
181
00:06:06,479 --> 00:06:08,097
Y-You are.
182
00:06:08,131 --> 00:06:09,515
You painted that.
183
00:06:09,549 --> 00:06:10,632
It's you.
184
00:06:10,684 --> 00:06:11,934
The artist Zed?
185
00:06:11,968 --> 00:06:13,719
What's a Zed?
186
00:06:13,753 --> 00:06:15,971
Zed's a legend,
mysterious street artist
187
00:06:16,022 --> 00:06:17,189
that nobody's ever met.
188
00:06:17,223 --> 00:06:19,086
My name is Seth Zalinsky.
189
00:06:19,111 --> 00:06:20,359
Okay, well,
at least we got his
190
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,028
name out of him.
Come on, this mook
191
00:06:23,063 --> 00:06:24,697
isn't the elusive
and brilliant Zed.
192
00:06:24,731 --> 00:06:25,814
Look at him.
193
00:06:25,865 --> 00:06:26,949
I know my rights.
194
00:06:26,983 --> 00:06:28,433
You can't just pin me down
195
00:06:28,451 --> 00:06:29,735
and slather peanut butter
196
00:06:29,769 --> 00:06:31,436
all over my private self.
197
00:06:31,454 --> 00:06:33,155
What if we sedate you?
198
00:06:33,206 --> 00:06:34,289
Depends.
199
00:06:34,324 --> 00:06:36,425
What do you got?
200
00:06:39,642 --> 00:06:43,642
♪ Bones 8x08 ♪
The But in the Joke
Original Air Date on November 26, 2012
201
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:48,667
♪ Main Title Theme ♪ The Crystal Method
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
202
00:06:48,692 --> 00:07:09,905
♪
203
00:07:13,910 --> 00:07:15,343
My name is Denny Bennet.
204
00:07:15,344 --> 00:07:17,529
I'm the manager
of Tele-Com Inc. Telemarketing.
205
00:07:17,564 --> 00:07:19,398
I filed
a missing persons report
206
00:07:19,432 --> 00:07:23,035
on one of my employees,
Morgan Donnelly, three days ago.
207
00:07:23,069 --> 00:07:24,202
Why is he talking like that?
208
00:07:24,237 --> 00:07:25,353
I don't know.
209
00:07:25,371 --> 00:07:26,805
The company lawyer told me
to speak clearly,
210
00:07:26,839 --> 00:07:28,624
tell the truth, and I'd have
nothing to worry about.
211
00:07:28,658 --> 00:07:30,492
Right, well, you have
one hell of a lawyer.
212
00:07:30,526 --> 00:07:33,462
Did you find,
uh, Morgan?
213
00:07:33,496 --> 00:07:34,963
Yes, he is dead.
214
00:07:34,998 --> 00:07:37,365
Donnelly's dead?
Dead, dead?
215
00:07:37,383 --> 00:07:39,384
We identified him by
his neck operation.
216
00:07:39,419 --> 00:07:40,869
He was murdered.
217
00:07:40,887 --> 00:07:43,255
Oh, my God, that can't be.
218
00:07:43,306 --> 00:07:45,040
How am I supposed
to go on?
219
00:07:45,058 --> 00:07:46,374
Donnelly's my heir apparent.
220
00:07:46,392 --> 00:07:48,176
I've been grooming him,
and now I've got nobody.
221
00:07:48,210 --> 00:07:50,062
What do you sell at Tele-Com?
Everything.
222
00:07:50,096 --> 00:07:51,680
Last few weeks,
we've been selling
223
00:07:51,714 --> 00:07:53,381
a time-share in Muncie, Indiana.
224
00:07:53,399 --> 00:07:55,067
Gateway to Indianapolis.
225
00:07:55,101 --> 00:07:56,217
And he could sell that?
226
00:07:56,235 --> 00:07:59,404
Yeah, he can...
could sell anything.
227
00:07:59,439 --> 00:08:01,156
Did anyone resent Donnelly?
228
00:08:01,190 --> 00:08:02,724
Enough to kill him? No.
229
00:08:02,742 --> 00:08:04,392
Did he have difficulty
with anyone?
230
00:08:04,410 --> 00:08:06,945
His girlfriend stormed
into the office
231
00:08:06,996 --> 00:08:08,530
last Friday,
hollered at him
232
00:08:08,564 --> 00:08:09,748
in front of everyone.
233
00:08:09,782 --> 00:08:11,083
Claimed he was cheating on her.
234
00:08:11,117 --> 00:08:13,085
Like she's one to talk.
235
00:08:13,119 --> 00:08:15,337
Are you implying that she
herself was unfaithful?
236
00:08:15,371 --> 00:08:17,005
Implying?
Hell, I'll say it directly.
237
00:08:17,040 --> 00:08:18,206
She was a cheater.
238
00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:20,592
And how do you know?
239
00:08:20,627 --> 00:08:22,243
She cheated on me with Donnelly.
So, you're telling me
240
00:08:22,261 --> 00:08:24,046
that he stole your girlfriend.
241
00:08:24,080 --> 00:08:25,747
Wow, that really must
have pissed you off.
242
00:08:25,765 --> 00:08:26,798
At first,
243
00:08:26,849 --> 00:08:28,350
but that was like, a year ago.
244
00:08:28,384 --> 00:08:30,268
Wait, am I a suspect?
245
00:08:30,303 --> 00:08:31,386
Most definitely.
246
00:08:31,420 --> 00:08:32,688
I want to talk
to the company lawyer.
247
00:08:32,722 --> 00:08:34,640
In a sign of good faith,
why don't you cough up
248
00:08:34,691 --> 00:08:36,908
the name and the address
of the cheater girl?
249
00:08:41,030 --> 00:08:43,899
I had to pry this peanut
butter out of Angela's hands.
250
00:08:43,933 --> 00:08:45,150
Apparently, she needed
251
00:08:45,201 --> 00:08:47,452
the comfort of some smooth PB
this morning
252
00:08:47,487 --> 00:08:50,271
after being caught making
an illegal right on red.
253
00:08:50,289 --> 00:08:51,323
Ah, police trap.
254
00:08:51,374 --> 00:08:52,741
Corner of Broadway and Nash.
255
00:08:52,775 --> 00:08:54,042
Been there, done that.
256
00:08:54,077 --> 00:08:56,662
I feel...
you know how when you wake up
257
00:08:56,713 --> 00:08:58,547
on Sunday morning,
258
00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:01,333
and you smell your mom
making breakfast?
259
00:09:01,384 --> 00:09:03,385
Your dad's trying
260
00:09:03,419 --> 00:09:05,053
to make her dance
to some ancient
261
00:09:05,088 --> 00:09:08,090
Tears for Fears song
about shouting.
262
00:09:08,124 --> 00:09:10,258
It's weird
when the remains talk.
263
00:09:10,292 --> 00:09:11,760
This is gonna work?
264
00:09:11,794 --> 00:09:14,295
Is that you,
sweet chocolate angel?
265
00:09:14,313 --> 00:09:15,797
Oh, my God.
266
00:09:15,815 --> 00:09:17,683
What did you give him?
Some stuff for depression,
267
00:09:17,734 --> 00:09:19,267
mood swings, panic disorder...
268
00:09:19,301 --> 00:09:20,468
Okay.
269
00:09:20,486 --> 00:09:21,520
I don't want to know.
270
00:09:21,571 --> 00:09:23,939
What I heard: cup
of chamomile tea.
271
00:09:23,973 --> 00:09:25,323
We're done.
272
00:09:25,358 --> 00:09:26,358
Okay.
273
00:09:26,409 --> 00:09:28,276
Hey.
274
00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:30,645
You good for a few moments?
275
00:09:30,680 --> 00:09:32,831
I am good for eternity.
276
00:09:32,865 --> 00:09:35,333
Let's go.
277
00:09:39,372 --> 00:09:40,822
You here for my sponge bath?
278
00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:42,490
That would be transcendent.
279
00:09:42,508 --> 00:09:46,294
Admit that Seth Zalinsky
is not your only name.
280
00:09:46,328 --> 00:09:49,631
Well, in high school,
they called me tripod.
281
00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:52,134
Oh,
282
00:09:52,168 --> 00:09:54,186
now I'm very sad.
283
00:09:55,104 --> 00:09:57,338
You did this.
284
00:09:57,356 --> 00:09:58,640
You're Zed.
285
00:09:58,674 --> 00:10:00,692
Zed is not my nickname.
286
00:10:00,727 --> 00:10:03,028
It's my alter ego.
287
00:10:04,530 --> 00:10:05,814
Much bigger deal.
288
00:10:05,848 --> 00:10:08,366
I'm very honored to meet you.
289
00:10:08,401 --> 00:10:10,402
Really. I mean, you are
290
00:10:10,453 --> 00:10:13,538
a wonderful, wonderful artist.
291
00:10:13,573 --> 00:10:16,024
And you are really young,
292
00:10:16,058 --> 00:10:18,410
which is so much
more impressive somehow.
293
00:10:18,461 --> 00:10:20,996
I am totally babbling
because I am starstruck.
294
00:10:21,030 --> 00:10:22,363
That's what it is.
295
00:10:22,381 --> 00:10:24,032
You want to make out?
296
00:10:24,917 --> 00:10:27,469
You know,
297
00:10:27,503 --> 00:10:29,221
time was I would have
jumped you,
298
00:10:29,255 --> 00:10:30,889
but I'm a married woman now,
299
00:10:30,923 --> 00:10:33,725
so I'm just gonna kiss you
because of who you are.
300
00:10:33,760 --> 00:10:35,894
Okay?
301
00:10:43,269 --> 00:10:45,103
I felt something move.
302
00:10:45,154 --> 00:10:46,571
Don't ruin my moment.
303
00:10:46,606 --> 00:10:48,223
On my back.
304
00:10:48,241 --> 00:10:50,859
I think the dead guy's
separating.
305
00:10:53,663 --> 00:10:55,697
You know, you really
didn't have to come.
306
00:10:55,731 --> 00:10:57,616
You said you wanted
me to come with you.
307
00:10:57,667 --> 00:10:59,034
Where are we going?
308
00:10:59,068 --> 00:11:00,902
We're gonna go talk to the
hollering, cheating girlfriend.
309
00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:04,790
No, I mean, my Prius has a
voice-activated navigation system.
310
00:11:04,841 --> 00:11:06,508
Oh, 709 Windsor Drive.
311
00:11:06,542 --> 00:11:08,660
Enter an address.
312
00:11:08,694 --> 00:11:11,096
709 Windsor Drive.
313
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:12,180
Searching.
314
00:11:12,215 --> 00:11:13,465
Now you don't have
to unfold
315
00:11:13,516 --> 00:11:14,549
and refold a map.
316
00:11:14,583 --> 00:11:16,685
Wait a second. I like maps.
What's wrong with maps?
317
00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,436
Well, maps cannot
tell you
318
00:11:18,471 --> 00:11:20,472
the amount of traffic
you should expect
319
00:11:20,523 --> 00:11:23,258
en route
to your destination.
320
00:11:23,276 --> 00:11:24,693
Look at that.
See?
321
00:11:24,727 --> 00:11:27,445
Now we can relax, talk
about interesting things.
322
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,447
This is not how the cowboys
settled this country.
323
00:11:29,482 --> 00:11:30,899
The cowboys didn't
have antibiotics.
324
00:11:30,933 --> 00:11:32,951
Do you also want to die
from a skinned knuckle?
325
00:11:32,985 --> 00:11:34,319
Sometimes.
326
00:11:34,370 --> 00:11:36,738
Cowboys didn't settle
this country.
327
00:11:36,772 --> 00:11:38,773
Farmers did.
328
00:11:38,791 --> 00:11:42,577
Alexa! The FBI wants
to talk to you!
329
00:11:42,611 --> 00:11:43,962
You know, you
shouldn't feel bad
330
00:11:43,996 --> 00:11:45,463
about living with
your sister.
331
00:11:45,498 --> 00:11:48,667
The current trend of delaying
marriage, along with the economy
332
00:11:48,718 --> 00:11:50,218
means that people have to adapt.
333
00:11:50,253 --> 00:11:52,787
However, it does complicate
the sex life.
334
00:11:52,805 --> 00:11:55,891
Tell me about it.
335
00:11:55,925 --> 00:11:57,008
Hey, I'm Alexa.
336
00:11:57,059 --> 00:11:59,127
Can I help you guys
with something?
337
00:11:59,145 --> 00:12:01,179
Like to ask you a few questions
about Morgan Donnelly.
338
00:12:01,230 --> 00:12:03,348
Here we go.
Mm-hmm.
339
00:12:03,399 --> 00:12:04,733
I'm afraid he's dead.
340
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:06,935
Of course he is.
341
00:12:06,969 --> 00:12:10,522
Did he get crushed by a falling
anvil or something?
342
00:12:10,573 --> 00:12:12,574
No, that is not correct.
343
00:12:12,608 --> 00:12:14,826
We believe you had
an altercation
344
00:12:14,861 --> 00:12:17,028
with him
a few days ago.
345
00:12:17,079 --> 00:12:19,948
I find their upbeat demeanor
highly suspicious.
346
00:12:19,982 --> 00:12:22,000
This is a serious situation.
He may have been murdered.
347
00:12:22,034 --> 00:12:24,002
Oh!
Murdered!
348
00:12:29,258 --> 00:12:31,760
Ow! Ow! Ow!
349
00:12:31,794 --> 00:12:32,994
Okay, careful,
Mr. Fisher.
350
00:12:33,029 --> 00:12:34,296
It's his hair,
that's all.
351
00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:36,548
Ah!
There we go.
352
00:12:36,599 --> 00:12:41,436
It is with great pleasure
that I divorce these skulls.
353
00:12:45,858 --> 00:12:50,645
Massive blunt-force trauma
to the facial bones.
354
00:12:50,679 --> 00:12:52,180
The victim's skull is
totally smashed in.
355
00:12:52,198 --> 00:12:55,483
Did I do that
when I fell on him?
356
00:12:55,517 --> 00:12:58,219
'Cause I didn't do it
on purpose.
357
00:12:58,254 --> 00:13:00,155
No, the fracture lines
on the zygomatic bones
358
00:13:00,189 --> 00:13:01,790
indicate the trauma
was sustained
359
00:13:01,824 --> 00:13:03,375
around time of death.
360
00:13:03,409 --> 00:13:07,404
Which was five days before
you fell on him.
361
00:13:07,405 --> 00:13:09,128
Whoa, whoa, wait, there could be...
Whoa!
362
00:13:10,249 --> 00:13:12,200
...blowflies.
363
00:13:12,218 --> 00:13:15,754
That explains
the constant buzzing.
364
00:13:15,805 --> 00:13:18,390
You are a very calm young man.
365
00:13:18,424 --> 00:13:19,641
Pharmaceutically
enhanced calm.
366
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:22,394
Third instar larvae.
367
00:13:22,428 --> 00:13:25,713
The victim die five days ago.
368
00:13:25,731 --> 00:13:27,766
Five days ago was Friday.
369
00:13:27,817 --> 00:13:30,652
The same day the victim's
girlfriend accused him of cheating.
370
00:13:34,190 --> 00:13:36,724
God, it's so weird
when they move.
371
00:13:36,742 --> 00:13:38,026
That felt good.
372
00:13:38,060 --> 00:13:40,528
Almost as good as when
that Asian chick kissed me.
373
00:13:40,562 --> 00:13:41,529
Wait. What?
374
00:13:41,563 --> 00:13:43,198
That Asian chick kissed me.
375
00:13:43,232 --> 00:13:45,667
Let's clean
Mr. Zalinsky up,
376
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:49,137
and in some
kind of clothes.
377
00:13:50,957 --> 00:13:52,407
Oh, come...
378
00:13:52,425 --> 00:13:54,175
I already slathered him
with peanut butter,
379
00:13:54,210 --> 00:13:55,460
plied him with
pharmaceuticals,
380
00:13:55,511 --> 00:13:57,796
now I got to give him
a sponge bath?
381
00:13:57,847 --> 00:14:00,682
What Asian chick did you kiss?
382
00:14:07,770 --> 00:14:11,189
The FBI really call in a
psychiatrist because I laughed?
383
00:14:11,223 --> 00:14:13,474
Now you all think I'm
some sort of psychopath?
384
00:14:13,508 --> 00:14:16,561
I'm actually a psychologist,
Ms. Eaton.
385
00:14:16,612 --> 00:14:20,114
But, um, yes,
Agent Booth called me
386
00:14:20,149 --> 00:14:22,483
because he was struck
by your sudden mood swing.
387
00:14:22,517 --> 00:14:23,818
I'm not a psycho!
388
00:14:23,852 --> 00:14:25,620
Can you tell me how
389
00:14:25,654 --> 00:14:27,455
you feel about Morgan Donnelly's
death?
390
00:14:27,489 --> 00:14:29,657
Um, I'm very upset! Look at me.
391
00:14:29,691 --> 00:14:31,542
Can you tell me why you laughed?
392
00:14:31,577 --> 00:14:35,046
Because I thought it was another
one of Morgan's practical jokes.
393
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:36,214
He was a joker?
394
00:14:36,248 --> 00:14:37,698
Yes.
395
00:14:37,716 --> 00:14:39,884
And I thought it was his way
396
00:14:39,918 --> 00:14:41,886
of totally making up
after our fight.
397
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,037
What fight?
398
00:14:43,055 --> 00:14:44,639
A girl walked up
and kissed him.
399
00:14:44,673 --> 00:14:47,592
I figured he didn't need
to enjoy it so much.
400
00:14:47,643 --> 00:14:49,377
A girl just walked up
and kissed him?
401
00:14:49,395 --> 00:14:52,730
Yeah, right on the lips.
Some tongue action, too.
402
00:14:52,765 --> 00:14:54,715
She recognized him.
403
00:14:54,733 --> 00:14:56,484
What? I was not aware
404
00:14:56,518 --> 00:14:59,053
that telemarketers
attracted that kind of notice.
405
00:14:59,071 --> 00:15:02,056
Morgan was a comedian, okay?
406
00:15:02,074 --> 00:15:05,393
The telemarketing gig,
it was just temporary.
407
00:15:05,411 --> 00:15:08,363
Okay, that explains the fake
arrow through his head.
408
00:15:08,397 --> 00:15:10,865
Morgan had an amazing
sense of humor.
409
00:15:10,899 --> 00:15:12,333
Girls like that in a guy.
410
00:15:12,368 --> 00:15:16,170
Yeah, I always thought that
that was... a lie.
411
00:15:16,205 --> 00:15:18,089
So, was Morgan's sense of humor
412
00:15:18,123 --> 00:15:20,008
the reason why
you left his boss?
413
00:15:20,042 --> 00:15:22,927
Look, if you met Denny, you'd
know why I went for Morgan.
414
00:15:22,961 --> 00:15:25,847
You think Denny could have
killed Morgan out of jealousy?
415
00:15:25,881 --> 00:15:26,848
After a year?
416
00:15:26,882 --> 00:15:28,933
Even Denny thinks
faster than that.
417
00:15:28,967 --> 00:15:30,084
Okay, and when was
418
00:15:30,102 --> 00:15:31,936
the last time you saw Morgan?
419
00:15:31,970 --> 00:15:36,024
He came over for dinner
that same night, Friday.
420
00:15:36,058 --> 00:15:37,942
And then I went to work.
421
00:15:37,976 --> 00:15:39,894
I'm a bartender.
You can check that out.
422
00:15:39,928 --> 00:15:41,095
Sure.
423
00:15:41,113 --> 00:15:44,598
And then, when I came home,
Morgan wasn't there.
424
00:15:45,818 --> 00:15:48,703
I didn't kill Morgan.
425
00:15:48,737 --> 00:15:50,872
I loved him.
426
00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:52,740
You know who you should be
looking for?
427
00:15:52,774 --> 00:15:54,909
Whoever put that arrow gag
on his head.
428
00:15:54,943 --> 00:15:56,961
That wasn't his?
No way!
429
00:15:56,995 --> 00:16:00,048
He hated that shtick stuff.
His material was cerebral.
430
00:16:00,082 --> 00:16:01,749
You wouldn't by
any chance
431
00:16:01,783 --> 00:16:04,552
have footage
of Morgan's stand-up?
432
00:16:04,586 --> 00:16:06,821
My brother, Elliot,
recorded every show.
433
00:16:13,896 --> 00:16:16,147
Mr. Fisher,
if we are to determine
434
00:16:16,181 --> 00:16:18,182
the murder weapon,
it is of the uttermost importance
435
00:16:18,233 --> 00:16:19,600
that the remains
be clean.
436
00:16:19,634 --> 00:16:22,136
Dr. Hodgins has a plan.
437
00:16:22,154 --> 00:16:24,322
I don't know
if you're aware,
438
00:16:24,356 --> 00:16:26,140
but I do a bit
of stand-up myself.
439
00:16:26,158 --> 00:16:28,810
I imagine you are
not very skilled at it
440
00:16:28,844 --> 00:16:31,863
as you are not
a humorous person.
441
00:16:31,914 --> 00:16:33,614
My routine is dark, disturbing
and uncomfortable.
442
00:16:33,648 --> 00:16:35,700
Just the way
a comedy show should be.
443
00:16:37,369 --> 00:16:41,506
Notice the large number of chips
and fragments.
444
00:16:41,540 --> 00:16:43,758
Also how the chip itself
is fragmented?
445
00:16:43,792 --> 00:16:46,427
Huh. One blow created
the chip,
446
00:16:46,462 --> 00:16:48,379
a second or a third
shattered it again.
447
00:16:48,430 --> 00:16:51,132
The victim was struck
in the face
448
00:16:51,166 --> 00:16:53,935
several times with a blunt object.
449
00:16:53,969 --> 00:16:55,386
Do you find that amusing?
450
00:16:55,437 --> 00:16:57,338
Amusing? No.
451
00:16:57,356 --> 00:16:59,974
Darkly illuminating
in a manner which allows us
452
00:17:00,008 --> 00:17:02,843
to laugh defiantly
into the yawning abyss?
453
00:17:02,861 --> 00:17:03,895
That's hilarious.
454
00:17:03,946 --> 00:17:05,196
I'm sorry,
I'm trying
455
00:17:05,230 --> 00:17:07,515
to see the hilarity,
but all I see is a man
456
00:17:07,533 --> 00:17:09,400
who was beaten in the face
until he died.
457
00:17:09,451 --> 00:17:11,319
Hmm.
458
00:17:11,353 --> 00:17:13,020
Sorry.
459
00:17:16,875 --> 00:17:18,743
Hey, hey, did you get
anything off
460
00:17:18,794 --> 00:17:19,961
the laughing girlfriend?
461
00:17:19,995 --> 00:17:21,462
Oh, Alexa Eaton and
her brother laughed
462
00:17:21,497 --> 00:17:23,697
because they thought you
and Dr. Brennan were a prank.
463
00:17:23,715 --> 00:17:25,383
Oh, there's your motive
for murder right there:
464
00:17:25,417 --> 00:17:26,751
practical jokes.
465
00:17:26,802 --> 00:17:30,871
I mean, hey, everybody,
you know, they hate practical jokers.
466
00:17:30,889 --> 00:17:32,373
The victim was a
stand-up comedian.
467
00:17:32,391 --> 00:17:33,707
Well, that would explain,
you know,
468
00:17:33,725 --> 00:17:34,976
the arrow through
the head.
469
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,978
Mm-hmm. The killer might have
been another stand-up.
470
00:17:37,012 --> 00:17:38,379
Where would
you get that?
471
00:17:38,397 --> 00:17:39,814
Well, the arrow
on the head
472
00:17:39,848 --> 00:17:41,098
could have been
placed there
473
00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:43,217
as a mark of derision.
You know, an insult.
474
00:17:43,235 --> 00:17:44,602
Whoa, whoa. Why?
That's a funny bit.
475
00:17:44,653 --> 00:17:48,356
Yeah, it's a classic.
Uh, so I went through
476
00:17:48,390 --> 00:17:50,775
some of Morgan Donnelly's
stand-up routine,
477
00:17:50,826 --> 00:17:52,443
came up with some interesting
clues and insights.
478
00:17:52,494 --> 00:17:55,163
Arrow through the head, that's
a... that's a funny gag.
479
00:17:55,197 --> 00:17:57,731
Yeah, is, was,
and always will be.
480
00:17:57,749 --> 00:18:01,235
Let me know when you want
to hear the rest of my insights.
481
00:18:01,253 --> 00:18:02,670
I have visual aids.
Okay, great.
482
00:18:02,704 --> 00:18:05,173
I laugh out loud
all the time I see that.
483
00:18:05,207 --> 00:18:07,959
The arrow through
the head.
484
00:18:08,010 --> 00:18:10,228
It's funny.
485
00:18:13,465 --> 00:18:15,183
Who did all
this stuff?
486
00:18:15,217 --> 00:18:16,467
Uh, what are you doing here?
487
00:18:16,518 --> 00:18:17,685
They told me
488
00:18:17,719 --> 00:18:20,254
I could sleep on the couch.
Did you paint this?
489
00:18:20,272 --> 00:18:22,390
Um...
490
00:18:22,424 --> 00:18:23,924
Yes.
491
00:18:23,942 --> 00:18:26,561
Yes, those are mine.
492
00:18:26,595 --> 00:18:28,679
Why are you in my office?
493
00:18:28,714 --> 00:18:29,780
I don't know.
494
00:18:29,815 --> 00:18:31,532
I think they roofied me.
495
00:18:31,567 --> 00:18:33,034
It was pretty great.
496
00:18:33,068 --> 00:18:36,404
I do remember your husband was
peeved that you kissed me.
497
00:18:36,438 --> 00:18:39,991
Oh, yeah. Let me worry
about Hodgins.
498
00:18:40,042 --> 00:18:43,578
Middle-class, suburban hang-ups
and sexual values.
499
00:18:43,612 --> 00:18:47,798
What are you,
like, 19?
500
00:18:47,833 --> 00:18:51,836
Oh, so you think my idealistic
approach to art is adolescent?
501
00:18:54,956 --> 00:18:56,123
But it looks to me like
502
00:18:56,141 --> 00:18:59,010
you used to have some
ideals of your own.
503
00:18:59,061 --> 00:19:02,980
Before you got married,
had a baby, started painting...
504
00:19:03,015 --> 00:19:04,932
What the hell is that
supposed to be?
505
00:19:04,966 --> 00:19:06,984
Uh...
506
00:19:07,019 --> 00:19:09,520
Do you want me to
call you a cab or...
507
00:19:09,571 --> 00:19:10,971
No, I can find
my own way.
508
00:19:10,989 --> 00:19:13,407
I have since
I was an adolescent.
509
00:19:13,442 --> 00:19:15,026
Hmm.
510
00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:18,529
You're the only person
in the world
511
00:19:18,580 --> 00:19:22,166
who knows my secret identity.
512
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,669
Okay, Batman.
513
00:19:24,703 --> 00:19:30,007
I'd appreciate it
if you didn't tell anyone.
514
00:19:30,042 --> 00:19:32,426
Let me guess,
you're keeping it pure, right?
515
00:19:32,461 --> 00:19:36,297
You want to make it about the
art and not about the artist.
516
00:19:36,331 --> 00:19:38,799
Some things are easy
to make fun of.
517
00:19:38,833 --> 00:19:42,687
Doesn't mean
they're not important.
518
00:19:44,690 --> 00:19:47,675
I'll make you a deal.
You keep your lips zipped,
519
00:19:47,693 --> 00:19:52,513
and tonight, I'll take
care of Broadway and Nash.
520
00:19:53,615 --> 00:19:58,419
Okay, your secret
is safe with me.
521
00:20:06,361 --> 00:20:07,845
You have excellent...
522
00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:10,864
...technique.
523
00:20:21,622 --> 00:20:24,068
Know what else
is completely made up?
524
00:20:24,069 --> 00:20:26,070
"General anxiety disorder."
525
00:20:26,121 --> 00:20:28,022
Yeah, you know what this is?
526
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:29,073
It's called "life."
527
00:20:29,124 --> 00:20:30,875
That's exactly
what you need to do;
528
00:20:30,909 --> 00:20:32,210
get a life!
529
00:20:32,244 --> 00:20:34,695
Sir, if I've said anything
to offend you,
530
00:20:34,713 --> 00:20:37,698
please, please know
that I am delighted.
531
00:20:38,901 --> 00:20:41,586
That heckler can be heard
on several of the tapes.
532
00:20:41,637 --> 00:20:43,471
Every single time,
Donnelly humiliates him
533
00:20:43,505 --> 00:20:45,039
in front of the crowd.
534
00:20:45,057 --> 00:20:46,591
How many times you hear
the same heckler?
535
00:20:46,642 --> 00:20:48,259
About a dozen, and I haven't
even been through all the tapes.
536
00:20:48,310 --> 00:20:50,261
Is that normal?
One heckler,
537
00:20:50,312 --> 00:20:51,312
time after time?
538
00:20:51,346 --> 00:20:52,396
I asked Fisher.
539
00:20:52,431 --> 00:20:53,380
Fisher the intern?
540
00:20:53,398 --> 00:20:55,399
Fisher the comic?
Fisher's funny?
541
00:20:55,434 --> 00:20:57,852
Not at all. He's kind of an
underground sensation, though.
542
00:20:57,886 --> 00:20:58,770
It's brilliant.
543
00:20:58,821 --> 00:21:00,104
Fisher said
it's not normal.
544
00:21:00,155 --> 00:21:01,555
If anyone knows heckling,
it's Fisher.
545
00:21:01,573 --> 00:21:02,982
Okay, how do we ID
the heckler?
546
00:21:03,007 --> 00:21:04,275
Easy.
547
00:21:04,276 --> 00:21:06,727
His name's Larry Baron.
He's another comic, crappy.
548
00:21:06,745 --> 00:21:07,945
Him and Morgan hated each other.
549
00:21:07,996 --> 00:21:09,080
Why didn't you
just tell me that?
550
00:21:09,114 --> 00:21:10,248
You didn't ask.
551
00:21:10,282 --> 00:21:12,733
Fine. Where can we find him?
552
00:21:12,751 --> 00:21:14,335
He's the bartender
at Laughtastic's.
553
00:21:14,369 --> 00:21:16,504
Laughtastic's, great.
So, why did you tape
554
00:21:16,538 --> 00:21:18,539
all of Morgan Donnelly's
stand-up routines?
555
00:21:18,573 --> 00:21:21,793
He was my sister's boyfriend.
He hired me.
556
00:21:21,844 --> 00:21:24,428
He was my mentor, and I
fed him lots of good ideas.
557
00:21:24,463 --> 00:21:26,964
He said I was his muse.
558
00:21:27,015 --> 00:21:29,100
Not in a creepy sex way
or anything.
559
00:21:29,134 --> 00:21:30,417
It was in a funny way.
560
00:21:30,435 --> 00:21:33,104
Any way you think you could
introduce me to Fisher?
561
00:21:33,138 --> 00:21:34,555
Probably not
562
00:21:34,589 --> 00:21:36,357
'cause of the murder
investigation, huh?
563
00:21:36,391 --> 00:21:37,842
Is it too weird?
564
00:21:42,548 --> 00:21:45,199
You're gonna get dermestid
beetles in my peanut butter.
565
00:21:45,234 --> 00:21:46,433
The beetles will eat
566
00:21:46,451 --> 00:21:48,202
what's left of
the victim's flesh.
567
00:21:48,237 --> 00:21:51,656
And for peanut butter, nothing
beats Gromphadorhina portentosa,
568
00:21:51,707 --> 00:21:54,659
aka the Madagascar
hissing cockroach.
569
00:21:54,693 --> 00:21:57,378
So, this victim, did
you ever hear of him?
570
00:21:57,412 --> 00:21:58,946
He was a popular comic.
571
00:21:58,964 --> 00:22:02,300
Sure sign you've transgressed
the unwritten rule of comedy.
572
00:22:02,334 --> 00:22:04,418
I thought the only rule
in comedy was to be funny.
573
00:22:04,452 --> 00:22:07,171
Tragically, you're not the only
one who thinks that way.
574
00:22:07,222 --> 00:22:10,308
Well, if you ask me,
575
00:22:10,342 --> 00:22:12,960
it gets no better
than the Stooges.
576
00:22:12,978 --> 00:22:15,012
Unfettered psychopathic
violence!
577
00:22:15,063 --> 00:22:16,130
Hilarious, right?
578
00:22:16,148 --> 00:22:18,766
Not really, when you
put it that way.
579
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:20,768
Might I recommend,
next time,
580
00:22:20,802 --> 00:22:22,636
watching with
the volume turned off?
581
00:22:22,654 --> 00:22:24,322
The absence of
the cartoon sound effects
582
00:22:24,356 --> 00:22:26,640
makes it much more violent.
583
00:22:35,167 --> 00:22:36,701
Yeah, I know
Morgan Donnelly.
584
00:22:36,752 --> 00:22:38,836
Uh, you going to order
a drink, or what?
585
00:22:38,871 --> 00:22:40,121
Yeah, we'll have some water.
586
00:22:40,155 --> 00:22:42,039
Must be tough on
a guy like you, huh?
587
00:22:42,090 --> 00:22:43,958
Serving drinks,
588
00:22:43,992 --> 00:22:46,210
has to watch other comedians
on stage do their thing...
589
00:22:46,261 --> 00:22:48,212
Are you kidding?
590
00:22:48,263 --> 00:22:51,515
That's like telling a Jew
he doesn't want to be in Mecca.
591
00:22:51,550 --> 00:22:54,218
In point of fact, Mecca is
the center of the Muslim world.
592
00:22:54,269 --> 00:22:55,970
It would be
completely rational
593
00:22:56,004 --> 00:22:57,388
for a Jew to avoid Mecca.
594
00:22:57,439 --> 00:22:59,440
Especially during hajj.
595
00:22:59,474 --> 00:23:00,524
Yeah, I'm fine.
596
00:23:00,559 --> 00:23:01,609
So... okay?
597
00:23:01,643 --> 00:23:03,394
Morgan Donnelly's dead.
598
00:23:03,445 --> 00:23:04,946
Yeah, I heard that.
599
00:23:04,980 --> 00:23:06,180
It's terrible.
600
00:23:06,198 --> 00:23:07,681
Is it true that
he oe told you,
601
00:23:07,699 --> 00:23:09,516
in front of a crowd,
602
00:23:09,534 --> 00:23:11,152
that if he wanted to hear from
an ass, he would have farted?
603
00:23:15,991 --> 00:23:17,124
Yeah.
604
00:23:17,159 --> 00:23:18,159
He did say that.
605
00:23:18,193 --> 00:23:20,527
He got a huge laugh, too.
606
00:23:20,545 --> 00:23:21,963
We have proof that
he humiliated you
607
00:23:21,997 --> 00:23:23,398
at least 20 times
in front of audiences.
608
00:23:23,423 --> 00:23:24,215
What?
609
00:23:24,216 --> 00:23:26,000
Oh...
610
00:23:26,034 --> 00:23:27,218
I get it.
611
00:23:27,252 --> 00:23:28,886
No, that wasn't a joke.
612
00:23:28,921 --> 00:23:30,204
I know it wasn't a joke.
613
00:23:30,222 --> 00:23:32,156
I know what is a joke
and what isn't a joke.
614
00:23:32,190 --> 00:23:33,257
I'm not sure you do.
615
00:23:33,308 --> 00:23:34,258
Now, don't
heckle him, Bones.
616
00:23:34,309 --> 00:23:35,259
He might want
to kill you next.
617
00:23:35,310 --> 00:23:37,428
Oh, you got it
all wrong.
618
00:23:37,479 --> 00:23:39,880
Look, me and Morgan...
619
00:23:39,898 --> 00:23:41,012
it was a setup.
620
00:23:41,037 --> 00:23:42,213
Setup? He wanted you
to heckle him?
621
00:23:42,313 --> 00:23:43,651
Definitely!
622
00:23:43,652 --> 00:23:44,769
Definitely.
623
00:23:44,820 --> 00:23:46,520
All those lines
that he used on me?
624
00:23:46,554 --> 00:23:48,406
You know, like the fart one?
625
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:50,408
Or he's say, um...
626
00:23:50,442 --> 00:23:52,827
"There's an alcoholic who
should stay anonymous."
627
00:23:54,196 --> 00:23:55,663
I wrote all those.
628
00:23:55,697 --> 00:23:57,114
Why?
629
00:23:57,165 --> 00:23:59,233
It was my way of,
uh, getting laughs.
630
00:23:59,251 --> 00:24:02,403
it made the audience
like Morgan, you know,
631
00:24:02,421 --> 00:24:04,088
so it's a... it's
a win-win situation.
632
00:24:04,122 --> 00:24:05,790
Right. Well, thanks
for your cooperation.
633
00:24:05,841 --> 00:24:06,791
Come on.
634
00:24:06,842 --> 00:24:08,459
Booth.
635
00:24:08,510 --> 00:24:10,428
Yeah?
The man in this flyer
636
00:24:10,462 --> 00:24:12,213
has a fake arrow
through his head.
637
00:24:12,247 --> 00:24:13,747
Oh. Yeah.
638
00:24:13,765 --> 00:24:14,966
That's Rex.
639
00:24:15,017 --> 00:24:16,467
And let me tell you,
640
00:24:16,518 --> 00:24:18,019
now that Donnelly is gone,
641
00:24:18,053 --> 00:24:21,088
he's gonna get the
Friday night slot, so...
642
00:24:21,106 --> 00:24:22,440
that's got to make you
suspicious, right?
643
00:24:22,474 --> 00:24:24,725
You comedians really
stick together, huh?
644
00:24:25,560 --> 00:24:27,478
This could very well be
the murder weapon.
645
00:24:27,529 --> 00:24:28,595
Where's Rex now?
646
00:24:28,613 --> 00:24:30,231
Uh, he's warming up.
647
00:24:32,818 --> 00:24:35,069
Where's your arrow
through the head?
648
00:24:35,103 --> 00:24:36,454
Somebody stole it.
649
00:24:36,488 --> 00:24:39,290
I never thought to report it
directly to the FBI.
650
00:24:39,324 --> 00:24:41,042
Who stole it?
Could've been anyone.
651
00:24:41,076 --> 00:24:42,443
That bit is classic.
652
00:24:42,461 --> 00:24:43,577
I think...
I think so, too.
653
00:24:43,611 --> 00:24:45,279
It is funny.
654
00:24:45,297 --> 00:24:47,581
But my prime suspect:
a so-called comic,
655
00:24:47,615 --> 00:24:49,450
so-called Morgan Donnelly.
656
00:24:49,468 --> 00:24:51,469
Okay, why do you think
he stole it?
657
00:24:51,503 --> 00:24:53,838
Guy's a natural thief--
props, jokes, women.
658
00:24:53,889 --> 00:24:55,339
He steals it all.
659
00:24:55,390 --> 00:24:56,390
He's dead.
660
00:24:56,425 --> 00:24:57,425
Murdered.
661
00:24:57,459 --> 00:25:00,478
Sorry to say,
that was bound to happen.
662
00:25:00,512 --> 00:25:01,962
You really do
hate this guy, huh?
663
00:25:01,980 --> 00:25:04,798
Both personally
and professionally, yes.
664
00:25:04,816 --> 00:25:05,966
Whoa.
665
00:25:05,984 --> 00:25:08,969
Rex's mallet tested
positive for blood.
666
00:25:08,987 --> 00:25:10,304
Positive for what?
667
00:25:10,322 --> 00:25:11,472
Blood.
668
00:25:11,490 --> 00:25:13,357
Now, that's funny.
669
00:25:17,318 --> 00:25:18,736
Yes, I kissed him.
670
00:25:19,857 --> 00:25:21,307
Why?
671
00:25:21,358 --> 00:25:23,943
It wasn't a you-me kind of kiss.
672
00:25:23,977 --> 00:25:26,562
This was a musty
old auntie kiss.
673
00:25:26,596 --> 00:25:28,948
Yeah? Well, your musty
old auntie kiss
674
00:25:28,982 --> 00:25:30,616
is the best kiss
that kid ever got.
675
00:25:30,651 --> 00:25:32,785
Why are you being jealous?
Because
676
00:25:32,820 --> 00:25:34,103
he's... cool.
677
00:25:34,121 --> 00:25:35,271
You know?
678
00:25:35,289 --> 00:25:36,956
And I'm... not.
679
00:25:36,990 --> 00:25:39,208
And, I don't know,
if you ever leave me,
680
00:25:39,243 --> 00:25:41,461
it's gonna be for
someone who's cool.
681
00:25:41,495 --> 00:25:45,781
"Cool" isn't really
a thing anymore.
682
00:25:45,799 --> 00:25:47,616
Thank you for
proving my point.
683
00:25:47,634 --> 00:25:51,337
You still haven't told me
why you kissed him.
684
00:25:51,388 --> 00:25:52,788
Yeah, I...
685
00:25:52,806 --> 00:25:55,925
I promised him I wasn't
gonna tell anybody, and...
686
00:25:55,959 --> 00:25:58,127
I will tell you, though,
687
00:25:58,145 --> 00:26:00,847
because you are
not just anybody.
688
00:26:01,765 --> 00:26:04,133
I kissed him because
689
00:26:04,151 --> 00:26:06,468
he's a great artist.
690
00:26:06,487 --> 00:26:09,772
And his art is
changing the world.
691
00:26:10,657 --> 00:26:13,475
He's Zed.
692
00:26:15,362 --> 00:26:16,946
Well, it's hard
to argue with that.
693
00:26:16,980 --> 00:26:19,315
You know what he said
about my work?
694
00:26:19,333 --> 00:26:22,201
He said that I have...
695
00:26:22,252 --> 00:26:24,320
"excellent technique."
696
00:26:24,338 --> 00:26:26,506
Well, that's great.
No.
697
00:26:26,540 --> 00:26:28,991
No, honey, it's not great.
698
00:26:29,009 --> 00:26:31,127
Well, "excellent"
usually means great.
699
00:26:33,764 --> 00:26:36,332
Brennan's got the murder weapon.
700
00:26:36,350 --> 00:26:38,384
Okay, listen, just...
701
00:26:38,435 --> 00:26:40,502
no more kissing
any artists,
702
00:26:40,521 --> 00:26:42,471
or anyone else,
for that matter.
703
00:26:42,505 --> 00:26:44,223
Yeah? Are we good?
704
00:26:44,274 --> 00:26:46,642
Yes, honey, we are good.
705
00:26:46,676 --> 00:26:48,728
You know why?
706
00:26:48,779 --> 00:26:53,032
Because I have
excellent technique.
707
00:26:53,066 --> 00:26:56,652
Which is not good.
708
00:26:56,686 --> 00:26:58,821
Exactly.
709
00:27:02,576 --> 00:27:05,077
Ready?
710
00:27:05,128 --> 00:27:07,713
Just reinserting the last
few pieces of dentition.
711
00:27:07,748 --> 00:27:09,165
Speaking of which,
712
00:27:09,199 --> 00:27:11,551
I found some slivers
of tooth in some flesh
713
00:27:11,585 --> 00:27:13,336
that might have been a part
of the victim's stomach.
714
00:27:13,370 --> 00:27:15,555
Bashed in the teeth,
swallowed the fragments?
715
00:27:15,589 --> 00:27:17,473
Makes sense to me.
716
00:27:17,507 --> 00:27:18,591
So let's hear it.
717
00:27:18,642 --> 00:27:20,226
Excuse me?
718
00:27:20,260 --> 00:27:21,394
You're a comedian, right?
719
00:27:21,428 --> 00:27:22,478
Can I hear one of your jokes?
720
00:27:22,512 --> 00:27:24,764
Oh, I don't do jokes,
Dr. Saroyan.
721
00:27:24,815 --> 00:27:26,849
I do raw, unfiltered honesty.
722
00:27:26,883 --> 00:27:30,102
Let me hear some raw,
unfiltered honesty, then.
723
00:27:30,153 --> 00:27:32,488
As you wish.
724
00:27:32,522 --> 00:27:36,025
I am incapable of truly
loving another human being.
725
00:27:36,059 --> 00:27:39,195
For that reason,
I will never sire an heir.
726
00:27:39,229 --> 00:27:41,163
Okay.
727
00:27:41,198 --> 00:27:42,281
Well, then.
Uh-oh.
728
00:27:42,316 --> 00:27:44,283
We have a tad too much tooth.
729
00:27:44,334 --> 00:27:48,537
Are you still doing
your comedy here, or...?
730
00:27:48,571 --> 00:27:50,790
No. No, you literally have
too much tooth.
731
00:27:50,841 --> 00:27:52,959
Hold the laughs.
732
00:27:53,010 --> 00:27:54,410
This is not tooth.
733
00:27:55,612 --> 00:27:57,713
I'm back to my day job now,
Dr. Saroyan.
734
00:27:57,747 --> 00:27:59,081
You don't have to laugh.
735
00:28:05,588 --> 00:28:07,223
- What's that?
- Visual aid.
736
00:28:07,257 --> 00:28:09,925
Joke one:
737
00:28:09,943 --> 00:28:11,978
"I love to brag about
how modest I am."
738
00:28:12,029 --> 00:28:13,312
That's not funny.
Mm-mm.
739
00:28:13,363 --> 00:28:15,648
But it is both self-centered
and self-deprecating.
740
00:28:15,699 --> 00:28:17,199
Joke number two:
741
00:28:17,234 --> 00:28:19,035
"I dated a 14-year-old once...
742
00:28:19,069 --> 00:28:21,103
but I was 14, too,
so it wasn't a big deal."
743
00:28:21,121 --> 00:28:22,338
Okay, wait,
so you're saying
744
00:28:22,372 --> 00:28:24,140
that our victim
was a self-centered,
745
00:28:24,174 --> 00:28:26,142
self-deprecating child abuser?
No, no, no.
746
00:28:26,176 --> 00:28:27,777
I'm saying that
joke one and joke two
747
00:28:27,811 --> 00:28:29,645
weren't written by
the same person.
748
00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:31,464
How can you tell?
749
00:28:31,498 --> 00:28:32,798
Well, the notion of
taking a subject
750
00:28:32,833 --> 00:28:34,884
as disturbing as pedophilia,
turning it on its head,
751
00:28:34,918 --> 00:28:36,719
to create something
752
00:28:36,753 --> 00:28:38,337
as sweet and innocent
as young love
753
00:28:38,388 --> 00:28:41,090
tells me that this joke was
probably written by a woman.
754
00:28:41,124 --> 00:28:44,260
Hmm-mm. Mr. Cantaloupe said
our victim stole the jokes.
755
00:28:44,294 --> 00:28:45,059
I agree.
756
00:28:45,084 --> 00:28:46,646
Okay, how does
a comedian do that?
757
00:28:46,647 --> 00:28:48,898
Fisher says that
open mike nights
758
00:28:48,932 --> 00:28:50,266
are the best place to
steal fresh jokes.
759
00:28:50,300 --> 00:28:52,485
Okay? Now, Laughtastic's
has an open mike night.
760
00:28:52,519 --> 00:28:54,654
And Donnelly was a judge.
Great.
761
00:28:54,688 --> 00:28:56,155
I'll just go there and get
the information. Thanks.
762
00:28:56,189 --> 00:28:57,189
How?
763
00:28:57,240 --> 00:28:58,741
How? How I usually do it.
764
00:28:58,775 --> 00:29:00,576
I'll go there,
ask some questions with Bones,
765
00:29:00,610 --> 00:29:02,311
and she'll be on the lookout
for somebody with a limp,
766
00:29:02,329 --> 00:29:03,946
which means that they fell
in love with a 14-year-old
767
00:29:03,980 --> 00:29:05,114
and we go home.
768
00:29:05,148 --> 00:29:06,005
That's how.
769
00:29:06,030 --> 00:29:07,333
Fisher and I
have a better idea.
770
00:29:07,334 --> 00:29:09,485
Fisher again.
You go to the open mike night.
771
00:29:09,503 --> 00:29:12,288
You tell some of the jokes
I've marked as stolen.
772
00:29:12,322 --> 00:29:14,040
See if anyone gets mad.
773
00:29:14,091 --> 00:29:15,791
Why me?
Well, because...
774
00:29:15,825 --> 00:29:17,043
I have to keep an eye out
775
00:29:17,094 --> 00:29:18,377
for subtle reactions
from the audience,
776
00:29:18,428 --> 00:29:19,378
and Fisher's too well-known.
777
00:29:19,429 --> 00:29:21,047
He and I have written
778
00:29:21,098 --> 00:29:22,548
some original jokes for you.
779
00:29:22,599 --> 00:29:24,467
You pepper in some of
the stolen stuff,
780
00:29:24,501 --> 00:29:25,685
see if anyone
lays claim to them.
781
00:29:25,719 --> 00:29:27,775
You and Fisher wrote me
a comedy routine?
782
00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:28,888
Okay.
783
00:29:28,889 --> 00:29:32,058
The blue jokes I wrote,
all right?
784
00:29:32,109 --> 00:29:33,359
The yellow ones, stolen.
785
00:29:33,393 --> 00:29:35,361
The black ones...
Fisher.
786
00:29:35,395 --> 00:29:37,029
Yep. You have about
787
00:29:37,064 --> 00:29:38,347
a half an hour.
788
00:29:38,365 --> 00:29:40,516
What?
789
00:29:41,785 --> 00:29:44,286
"Is it just me,
or are circles pointless?"
790
00:29:44,321 --> 00:29:45,438
What?
791
00:29:45,472 --> 00:29:48,290
Multiple radiating
fracture lines
792
00:29:48,325 --> 00:29:49,658
originating on the glabella,
793
00:29:49,692 --> 00:29:52,461
terminated by fracture lines
on the maxilla.
794
00:29:52,496 --> 00:29:54,413
Just as we suspected,
multiple blows.
795
00:29:54,464 --> 00:29:55,715
I come bearing
796
00:29:55,749 --> 00:29:57,049
bad news.
797
00:29:57,084 --> 00:29:58,300
The mallet was not
the murder weapon.
798
00:29:58,335 --> 00:30:00,302
Why was there blood all over it?
799
00:30:00,337 --> 00:30:01,487
False positive,
800
00:30:01,521 --> 00:30:04,640
from the peroxidase enzyme
found in turnip juice.
801
00:30:04,674 --> 00:30:07,042
I hate to think how many turnips
this man bludgeoned to death.
802
00:30:08,228 --> 00:30:10,045
What about Dr. Saroyan's
fragments?
803
00:30:10,063 --> 00:30:11,046
Ceramic.
804
00:30:11,064 --> 00:30:12,281
Let's have Angela
805
00:30:12,315 --> 00:30:14,383
recreate the fracture pattern
on the Angelatron.
806
00:30:14,418 --> 00:30:17,069
Okay, I'll let her know.
807
00:30:18,188 --> 00:30:19,522
Okay!
808
00:30:19,556 --> 00:30:21,023
All right, uh,
let's give it up...
809
00:30:21,057 --> 00:30:22,724
Are you nervous?
I've had people try to kill me, Sweets.
810
00:30:22,743 --> 00:30:24,393
How could cracking jokes
make me nervous?
811
00:30:24,411 --> 00:30:27,580
Just remember to look relaxed,
as though you own the stage.
812
00:30:27,614 --> 00:30:28,948
Stop with the advice.
813
00:30:28,999 --> 00:30:30,065
Just, please?
Okay, Fisher's here.
814
00:30:30,083 --> 00:30:31,400
If it looks like
you're in trouble,
815
00:30:31,418 --> 00:30:32,568
he'll heckle you.
816
00:30:32,586 --> 00:30:33,902
Why are you making such
a big deal about this?
817
00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:35,287
Welcome to the stage
for the first time...
818
00:30:35,338 --> 00:30:36,905
Cee-Lo Booth!
819
00:30:39,075 --> 00:30:40,126
Seeley, not Cee-Lo.
820
00:30:40,177 --> 00:30:41,761
Hey, what do you want?
I went to public school.
821
00:30:41,795 --> 00:30:43,212
So...
822
00:30:44,264 --> 00:30:45,631
Good evening.
823
00:30:45,682 --> 00:30:47,800
Thanks for coming out tonight.
824
00:30:47,851 --> 00:30:51,253
You know who has
a lot of great ideas?
825
00:30:51,288 --> 00:30:52,221
Lamps.
826
00:30:52,255 --> 00:30:53,205
Ha!
827
00:30:56,810 --> 00:30:58,093
I hate my father.
828
00:30:58,111 --> 00:30:59,945
I mean, not for
what he's done to me,
829
00:30:59,980 --> 00:31:01,614
but for what he
hasn't done to me.
830
00:31:03,049 --> 00:31:05,767
Laugh. Laugh at the
emptiness of my pain.
831
00:31:05,786 --> 00:31:07,153
Is it just me, or
832
00:31:07,204 --> 00:31:08,654
are circles pointless?
833
00:31:08,705 --> 00:31:09,655
Oh!
834
00:31:11,208 --> 00:31:13,075
So far this act is pointless.
835
00:31:13,109 --> 00:31:15,544
All right, pal, you want to quit
shooting your mouth off
836
00:31:15,579 --> 00:31:16,945
before I shoot it off for you.
837
00:31:20,550 --> 00:31:21,801
Oh, my God,
Booth is funny.
838
00:31:21,835 --> 00:31:23,335
Almost funny.
839
00:31:23,386 --> 00:31:24,720
I once shot an unarmed man.
840
00:31:24,754 --> 00:31:26,922
I mean, sure, I shot off
both of his arms, but still.
841
00:31:29,676 --> 00:31:30,959
So I was at the trial,
842
00:31:30,977 --> 00:31:32,978
and the prosecutor says
to me on the stand,
843
00:31:33,013 --> 00:31:34,230
"Did you kill that man?"
844
00:31:34,264 --> 00:31:35,431
I said, "No."
845
00:31:35,465 --> 00:31:37,149
He says, "You know what
the penalty for perjury is?"
846
00:31:37,184 --> 00:31:38,684
I said, "Yeah, it's a lot less
than the penalty for murder."
847
00:31:41,188 --> 00:31:43,823
Why-why am I even here?
848
00:31:44,991 --> 00:31:46,275
Fine.
849
00:31:47,160 --> 00:31:48,444
So, uh...
850
00:31:48,478 --> 00:31:51,780
well, how about the guy
who invented tanning beds?
851
00:31:51,814 --> 00:31:53,082
I mean, the nerve!
852
00:31:53,116 --> 00:31:54,416
Who looks at the sun and says,
853
00:31:54,451 --> 00:31:56,118
"Hey, I can do better."
854
00:31:59,339 --> 00:32:02,625
I went to a cello recital
the other night.
855
00:32:02,659 --> 00:32:04,126
It was... it was a solo show.
856
00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:06,345
Meaning I was the only
person in the audience.
857
00:32:06,379 --> 00:32:08,848
Even I don't get that one.
858
00:32:08,882 --> 00:32:09,882
Nobody likes a cello.
859
00:32:09,933 --> 00:32:12,635
It's just a violin
with size issues,
860
00:32:12,669 --> 00:32:14,970
which is also a joke I wrote,
like the others that you stole.
861
00:32:15,004 --> 00:32:16,805
FBI, you're
coming with me.
862
00:32:22,896 --> 00:32:24,446
Annie Pinkus.
863
00:32:24,481 --> 00:32:26,448
Right. So.
864
00:32:26,483 --> 00:32:28,234
Quite a coincidence that
you work at the same place
865
00:32:28,285 --> 00:32:29,451
as the murder victim.
866
00:32:29,486 --> 00:32:32,354
Two comedians, working
a telemarketing day job?
867
00:32:32,372 --> 00:32:34,707
Yeah. Bizarre coincidence there.
868
00:32:34,741 --> 00:32:36,208
Mm.
869
00:32:36,243 --> 00:32:37,859
Were you having an affair
with Morgan Donnelly?
870
00:32:37,878 --> 00:32:38,994
No.
871
00:32:39,028 --> 00:32:40,262
Why?
872
00:32:40,297 --> 00:32:41,580
It says here Donnelly's
girlfriend comes in
873
00:32:41,631 --> 00:32:43,198
ripping him a new one
about a third woman.
874
00:32:43,216 --> 00:32:45,200
Maybe you didn't know about
either one of them.
875
00:32:45,218 --> 00:32:47,052
Twice the jealousy,
twice the motive?
876
00:32:47,087 --> 00:32:48,420
Three times.
877
00:32:48,471 --> 00:32:49,705
See, he was stealing your jokes.
878
00:32:49,723 --> 00:32:50,872
He deserved to die.
879
00:32:50,891 --> 00:32:52,341
I was not sleeping with Morgan,
880
00:32:52,375 --> 00:32:54,393
and he was not
stealing my jokes.
881
00:32:54,427 --> 00:32:56,061
Well, I told a couple
of your jokes.
882
00:32:56,096 --> 00:32:57,263
You accused me of stealing.
883
00:32:57,314 --> 00:32:58,731
Yeah, Morgan bought my jokes.
884
00:32:58,765 --> 00:33:01,066
$25 a pop plus a piece
of the back end deal
885
00:33:01,101 --> 00:33:02,518
if he went on Letterman,
886
00:33:02,552 --> 00:33:03,819
HBO, you know, whatever.
887
00:33:03,853 --> 00:33:05,053
I could see why
888
00:33:05,071 --> 00:33:06,888
you didn't want to save
those jokes for yourself.
889
00:33:06,907 --> 00:33:07,907
I'm not funny.
890
00:33:07,941 --> 00:33:10,075
I write funny,
but I'm not funny.
891
00:33:10,110 --> 00:33:12,361
Some people are funny, like you.
892
00:33:12,395 --> 00:33:13,629
Others, like me,
893
00:33:13,663 --> 00:33:15,664
we do better off writing
for the funny people.
894
00:33:15,699 --> 00:33:17,032
So, you expect me
to believe
895
00:33:17,066 --> 00:33:19,785
that Morgan Donnelly's
death hurt your career.
896
00:33:19,836 --> 00:33:21,170
Hells yeah.
897
00:33:21,204 --> 00:33:24,039
He was about to move to
New York, do comedy full time.
898
00:33:24,073 --> 00:33:27,242
Is this the real deal
or was this just the pipe dream?
899
00:33:27,260 --> 00:33:28,794
For reals. He had bookings--
900
00:33:28,845 --> 00:33:30,095
TV shows, clubs.
901
00:33:30,130 --> 00:33:31,614
You can check it out.
902
00:33:31,648 --> 00:33:34,216
Look, what you think is a
motive for me to murder
903
00:33:34,250 --> 00:33:37,102
is actually the complete
opposite of a motive for murder.
904
00:33:37,137 --> 00:33:40,889
That's irony,
and it's definitely not funny.
905
00:33:40,923 --> 00:33:42,775
Capisce?
906
00:33:45,993 --> 00:33:49,045
So, after pulling out the postmortem
damage that was caused
907
00:33:49,477 --> 00:33:51,095
by Zalinsky's skull,
908
00:33:51,445 --> 00:33:53,196
I used the intersections
909
00:33:53,230 --> 00:33:55,064
of the radiating
fracture lines
910
00:33:55,082 --> 00:33:57,066
to determine that
the facial trauma
911
00:33:57,084 --> 00:34:00,119
was actually a result
of three separate blows.
912
00:34:00,406 --> 00:34:02,407
Here are the results
of the initial blow.
913
00:34:02,442 --> 00:34:04,159
It appears that the force
of this blow
914
00:34:04,193 --> 00:34:07,195
and the force of the blow that
broke the victim's metacarpals
915
00:34:07,246 --> 00:34:08,480
are nearly identical.
916
00:34:08,498 --> 00:34:11,266
The weapon is the same one
that broke his metacarpals.
917
00:34:11,301 --> 00:34:12,551
Please bring up
918
00:34:12,585 --> 00:34:14,536
the results
of the second blow.
919
00:34:16,322 --> 00:34:17,589
Um,
920
00:34:17,623 --> 00:34:19,174
fracturing to
the dentition,
921
00:34:19,208 --> 00:34:20,825
mandible, maxilla,
922
00:34:20,843 --> 00:34:22,094
and zygomatic bones.
923
00:34:22,128 --> 00:34:23,211
The killer either
924
00:34:23,246 --> 00:34:26,014
picked up a larger weapon
to finish the job
925
00:34:26,049 --> 00:34:28,367
or he swung a lighter
weapon with greater force.
926
00:34:28,401 --> 00:34:30,869
Well, here are the results
of the third blow.
927
00:34:32,905 --> 00:34:35,140
Okay, I-I'm sorry.
928
00:34:35,174 --> 00:34:37,809
I know what this looks like
to you,
929
00:34:37,843 --> 00:34:41,563
but this entire sequence here,
I-it's The Three Stooges.
930
00:34:41,614 --> 00:34:42,814
It's classic comedy
931
00:34:42,849 --> 00:34:43,949
in three blows.
932
00:34:43,983 --> 00:34:46,234
I mean, the weapon
is gonna be a frying pan.
933
00:34:47,487 --> 00:34:50,688
This strike caused fragments
of the glabella
934
00:34:50,707 --> 00:34:51,990
to pierce the
victim's brain.
935
00:34:52,025 --> 00:34:53,375
Death blow.
936
00:34:53,409 --> 00:34:55,544
Which is not funny.
No, it's not.
937
00:34:55,578 --> 00:34:57,696
Based on the amorphous
wound pattern,
938
00:34:57,730 --> 00:35:01,466
the murder weapon is curved
upon its horizontal axis.
939
00:35:01,501 --> 00:35:04,419
Curved, ceramic,
like a large vase?
940
00:35:04,470 --> 00:35:05,971
Angie, I just sent you
941
00:35:06,005 --> 00:35:09,057
the results of the core sample I
took from the shard of ceramic.
942
00:35:09,092 --> 00:35:10,425
Was it a vase?
943
00:35:10,476 --> 00:35:12,227
Not unless it was a
vase full of urine.
944
00:35:12,261 --> 00:35:14,212
It's a toilet?
Ding-ding-ding.
945
00:35:14,230 --> 00:35:15,764
And the prize goes
to the little lady
946
00:35:15,815 --> 00:35:17,432
wearing the blue lab coat.
947
00:35:17,483 --> 00:35:19,101
Sorry, yeah,
948
00:35:19,152 --> 00:35:20,569
I-I got excited.
949
00:35:20,603 --> 00:35:22,654
So, his head was smashed
into a toilet?
950
00:35:22,688 --> 00:35:24,990
Classic.
951
00:35:25,024 --> 00:35:26,724
The first blow occurred
952
00:35:26,743 --> 00:35:30,228
when the victim had his hand
on the edge of the toilet.
953
00:35:30,246 --> 00:35:32,080
His face was smashed
into his hand.
954
00:35:32,115 --> 00:35:34,566
Comedian was killed
by a brutal swirly?
955
00:35:34,584 --> 00:35:36,201
So, he was draped
over the toilet,
956
00:35:36,235 --> 00:35:37,569
puking, when he was killed.
957
00:35:39,956 --> 00:35:42,457
I'm... swirly.
958
00:35:45,657 --> 00:35:49,142
So, how many toilets are
there in the Metro D.C. area?
959
00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:51,862
Oh, uh, approximately
five and a half million.
960
00:35:51,913 --> 00:35:53,313
How is that you know that?
961
00:35:53,331 --> 00:35:54,865
There is approximately
one toilet per person
962
00:35:54,916 --> 00:35:56,083
in the United States of America.
963
00:35:56,117 --> 00:35:58,702
Do you want me to figure out
how much time it would take
964
00:35:58,753 --> 00:35:59,703
to inspect each toilet?
965
00:35:59,754 --> 00:36:00,921
No, we don't have to do that.
966
00:36:00,955 --> 00:36:02,089
Why not?
Why?
967
00:36:02,123 --> 00:36:03,540
I'll just get,
you know, a warrant
968
00:36:03,591 --> 00:36:05,459
for all the toilets
that the victim
969
00:36:05,493 --> 00:36:08,629
used regularly, and
we'll start with that.
970
00:36:08,663 --> 00:36:11,765
And when I say "we,"
I mean Hodgins.
971
00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:14,334
One million, two hundred and
fifty thousand man-hours.
972
00:36:14,352 --> 00:36:15,803
W-What?
973
00:36:15,837 --> 00:36:18,672
That's how long it would take to
check out every toilet in D.C.
974
00:36:18,690 --> 00:36:20,674
Once you start with the math,
you don't stop, right?
975
00:36:20,692 --> 00:36:22,175
I think everyone's
like that, don't you?
976
00:36:22,193 --> 00:36:23,644
Yeah, I think so, definitely.
Go math!
977
00:36:23,678 --> 00:36:25,612
Math people forever, right?
978
00:36:25,647 --> 00:36:27,915
♪
979
00:36:30,485 --> 00:36:32,486
♪ We got to go, got to go
980
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,688
♪ To the party
981
00:36:34,706 --> 00:36:37,491
♪ Got to go, got to go
982
00:36:37,525 --> 00:36:39,126
♪ To the hotel
983
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:41,795
♪ We got to go, got to go
984
00:36:41,830 --> 00:36:43,530
♪ Yeah, come on, that's right
♪ To the party
985
00:36:43,548 --> 00:36:44,748
♪ Come on, yeah
986
00:36:44,799 --> 00:36:46,417
♪ Got to go, got to go
987
00:36:46,468 --> 00:36:48,469
♪ To the hotel
988
00:36:48,503 --> 00:36:51,689
♪
989
00:36:53,541 --> 00:36:56,176
♪ That's right
990
00:36:58,046 --> 00:37:00,013
♪ There's gonna be
some people there ♪
991
00:37:08,907 --> 00:37:10,858
♪ We got to go, got to go
992
00:37:10,892 --> 00:37:11,992
♪ Where we gonna go?
993
00:37:12,026 --> 00:37:14,060
♪ To the party
♪ Oh, that's right
994
00:37:14,079 --> 00:37:15,529
♪ We got to go, got to go
995
00:37:15,563 --> 00:37:17,564
♪ Where we
gonna-gonna-gonna go? ♪
996
00:37:17,582 --> 00:37:19,032
♪ Oh, boy, come on
997
00:37:19,066 --> 00:37:20,567
♪ We got to go, got to go
998
00:37:20,585 --> 00:37:21,618
♪ Where we gonna go?
999
00:37:21,669 --> 00:37:23,537
♪ To the party
♪ All right then
1000
00:37:23,571 --> 00:37:25,456
♪ We got to go, got to go
1001
00:37:25,507 --> 00:37:26,623
♪ Where we gonna go?
1002
00:37:26,674 --> 00:37:27,875
♪ To the hotel
1003
00:37:27,909 --> 00:37:30,177
♪ Let's hear it then,
come on. ♪
1004
00:37:30,211 --> 00:37:33,130
Tell us about the last time
you saw Morgan Donnelly.
1005
00:37:33,181 --> 00:37:34,681
I already told
the other young man.
1006
00:37:34,716 --> 00:37:36,884
I made him dinner here.
1007
00:37:36,918 --> 00:37:38,752
What did you make?
1008
00:37:38,770 --> 00:37:39,853
Beef stroganoff.
1009
00:37:39,888 --> 00:37:42,222
Salad, ice cream.
1010
00:37:42,256 --> 00:37:44,608
Did you feel
well afterwards?
1011
00:37:44,642 --> 00:37:46,860
Yes, I went to work.
1012
00:37:46,895 --> 00:37:48,094
I was fine.
1013
00:37:48,113 --> 00:37:49,613
The FBI checked out my alibi.
1014
00:37:49,647 --> 00:37:51,198
You already know.
Was Morgan
1015
00:37:51,232 --> 00:37:52,563
feeling all right
when you left the house?
1016
00:37:52,588 --> 00:37:53,767
He was fine.
1017
00:37:53,768 --> 00:37:55,936
He and Elliot were gonna watch
some soccer game
1018
00:37:55,954 --> 00:37:57,121
and write jokes about it.
1019
00:37:57,155 --> 00:37:58,288
Did your brother mention
1020
00:37:58,323 --> 00:38:00,541
feeling sick the next morning?
1021
00:38:00,575 --> 00:38:02,459
Why? Do you think
my cooking killed Morgan?
1022
00:38:02,494 --> 00:38:05,329
We have evidence that Morgan
became ill that night.
1023
00:38:05,380 --> 00:38:06,830
It's very likely
that he died
1024
00:38:06,881 --> 00:38:09,049
while vomiting into your toilet.
1025
00:38:09,083 --> 00:38:12,920
Oh, my God, do you really think
that I poisoned Morgan to death?
1026
00:38:12,954 --> 00:38:15,806
No. Morgan Donnelly died
by someone smashing his head
1027
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:18,308
into the toilet bowl.
1028
00:38:21,563 --> 00:38:23,680
I want a lawyer.
1029
00:38:24,933 --> 00:38:28,202
And I want one for my brother.
1030
00:38:33,140 --> 00:38:35,275
Morgan was moving to New York.
1031
00:38:35,309 --> 00:38:37,911
That's not true.
1032
00:38:37,946 --> 00:38:39,646
What made him vomit?
1033
00:38:39,664 --> 00:38:42,366
He was drinking a lot, you know,
to work up the courage.
1034
00:38:42,417 --> 00:38:43,667
Courage for what?
1035
00:38:43,701 --> 00:38:46,854
Tell my sister he was going
to dump her and take off.
1036
00:38:46,888 --> 00:38:48,755
You didn't know any of this?
1037
00:38:48,790 --> 00:38:51,625
So, it was a matter of
defending your sister's honor?
1038
00:38:51,659 --> 00:38:52,793
Not only.
1039
00:38:52,827 --> 00:38:55,495
I did all that work
with Morgan and taped him.
1040
00:38:55,513 --> 00:38:57,598
He was supposed to helping me
put my own act together,
1041
00:38:57,632 --> 00:38:58,832
but he wasn't gonna.
1042
00:38:58,850 --> 00:39:02,269
He said something like,
a comic has to be tough,
1043
00:39:02,303 --> 00:39:04,221
make tough calls,
1044
00:39:04,272 --> 00:39:07,007
and leave behind people
he'd outgrown.
1045
00:39:07,025 --> 00:39:09,175
He's sitting there
telling me all this stuff
1046
00:39:09,194 --> 00:39:11,862
with a stupid arrow
in his head.
1047
00:39:11,896 --> 00:39:14,364
I got mad and...
1048
00:39:14,399 --> 00:39:17,701
Poor Elliot.
1049
00:39:17,735 --> 00:39:19,736
I...
1050
00:39:19,787 --> 00:39:23,023
did what I did.
1051
00:39:23,041 --> 00:39:26,743
Then I wrapped him up
in a shower curtain,
1052
00:39:26,794 --> 00:39:28,745
drove him out
to that woodsy area
1053
00:39:28,796 --> 00:39:30,764
under the billboard.
1054
00:39:30,798 --> 00:39:33,050
Came back,
1055
00:39:33,084 --> 00:39:35,252
cleaned up the bathroom,
1056
00:39:35,303 --> 00:39:38,422
put the shower curtain
back up and...
1057
00:40:11,706 --> 00:40:13,957
Okay, he's here,
he's here, he's here.
1058
00:40:16,544 --> 00:40:18,244
What if he hates it?
1059
00:40:18,263 --> 00:40:20,413
Angela, it's okay.
1060
00:40:25,219 --> 00:40:28,138
He's leaving.
1061
00:40:31,526 --> 00:40:33,260
Forget it.
1062
00:40:34,779 --> 00:40:36,930
Okay.
1063
00:40:40,451 --> 00:40:42,286
Hey!
1064
00:40:43,621 --> 00:40:44,454
Zed!
1065
00:40:44,489 --> 00:40:46,540
Zed!
1066
00:40:46,574 --> 00:40:49,793
Man, shut up, okay?
1067
00:40:49,827 --> 00:40:51,461
Do married people
1068
00:40:51,496 --> 00:40:53,113
tell each other everything?
1069
00:40:53,131 --> 00:40:54,581
Why didn't you
paint something?
1070
00:40:54,615 --> 00:40:56,300
Somebody beat me
to it, man.
1071
00:40:56,334 --> 00:40:59,786
I got nothing
better to say than she did.
1072
00:40:59,804 --> 00:41:02,172
You mean, you-you like it?
1073
00:41:02,223 --> 00:41:04,675
I love it.
1074
00:41:06,427 --> 00:41:08,345
But your technique blows.
1075
00:41:11,349 --> 00:41:13,466
Hey, you can't you talk to her...
Hodgins...
1076
00:41:15,069 --> 00:41:17,154
...it was a compliment.
1077
00:41:30,985 --> 00:41:33,837
Sweets told me that you were
really funny at the comedy club.
1078
00:41:33,871 --> 00:41:35,839
Oh, he wrote me some jokes.
1079
00:41:35,873 --> 00:41:39,292
No, he said that you bombed
when you told his jokes,
1080
00:41:39,326 --> 00:41:41,628
but that the audience
laughed when you got mad.
1081
00:41:41,662 --> 00:41:42,929
Wait a second, all right.
1082
00:41:42,964 --> 00:41:45,182
You're the one who said
that comedy comes out of anger.
1083
00:41:45,216 --> 00:41:46,332
I have been
1084
00:41:46,351 --> 00:41:48,218
a very good influence
on the sophistication
1085
00:41:48,269 --> 00:41:49,970
of your thinking.
1086
00:41:50,004 --> 00:41:52,839
I'm a very sophisticated man.
1087
00:41:52,857 --> 00:41:55,392
Laughter can also
be made to make
1088
00:41:55,443 --> 00:41:57,177
people helpless
and vulnerable.
1089
00:41:57,195 --> 00:41:58,362
Perhaps that's why
1090
00:41:58,396 --> 00:42:00,364
some comics say,
"I killed tonight."
1091
00:42:00,398 --> 00:42:01,531
Or, "I slaughtered them."
1092
00:42:01,566 --> 00:42:03,116
Side-splitting.
Yes.
1093
00:42:03,151 --> 00:42:04,901
Exactly,
humor is a kind of viol...
1094
00:42:04,952 --> 00:42:06,870
Oh, my God. Don't move.
1095
00:42:06,904 --> 00:42:07,871
You have an arrow in your head.
1096
00:42:07,905 --> 00:42:08,989
No, Bones, it's a joke.
1097
00:42:09,023 --> 00:42:11,291
I'm sorry. It was just...
1098
00:42:11,325 --> 00:42:14,995
You tried to scare me,
1099
00:42:15,029 --> 00:42:16,797
but I scared you
right back.
1100
00:42:16,831 --> 00:42:18,215
That is funny.
1101
00:42:18,249 --> 00:42:19,883
I was trying
to make you laugh, okay?
1102
00:42:19,917 --> 00:42:22,085
And then you scared me.
All right, that's not funny.
1103
00:42:22,136 --> 00:42:23,387
You and Sweets,
you're not funny.
1104
00:42:23,421 --> 00:42:24,805
Wh... Really?
1105
00:42:24,839 --> 00:42:26,757
Well, will you tell me
one of Sweets' jokes?
1106
00:42:26,808 --> 00:42:28,041
Okay, fine.
1107
00:42:28,059 --> 00:42:29,810
You know who's good ideas?
1108
00:42:29,844 --> 00:42:31,878
Who?
Lamps.
1109
00:42:34,565 --> 00:42:36,767
Lamps... yes.
1110
00:42:36,818 --> 00:42:38,418
Yes, yes,
1111
00:42:38,453 --> 00:42:40,404
lamps have good ideas
1112
00:42:40,438 --> 00:42:42,155
because they lightbulbs
going on.
1113
00:42:42,190 --> 00:42:44,241
That's not funny.
1114
00:42:44,275 --> 00:42:46,910
That's really...
it's really funny, Booth.
1115
00:42:46,944 --> 00:42:48,195
One more, tell me another.
1116
00:42:48,229 --> 00:42:50,730
Okay, fine, is it just me
or are circle pointless?
1117
00:42:52,333 --> 00:42:54,167
Sweets is a genius.
1118
00:42:54,202 --> 00:42:55,452
Circles are pointless
1119
00:42:55,503 --> 00:42:58,038
because they are round.
1120
00:42:58,072 --> 00:42:59,039
Get it?
1121
00:42:59,073 --> 00:43:00,557
One more, Booth.
1122
00:43:00,591 --> 00:43:02,909
Pointless.
1123
00:43:04,826 --> 00:43:06,090
Booth?
1124
00:43:06,187 --> 00:43:07,556
Booth?
1125
00:43:08,243 --> 00:43:09,850
Booth? Booth?
1126
00:43:09,950 --> 00:43:14,950
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
1127
00:43:16,546 --> 00:43:18,080
What's that mean?