0 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org 1 00:00:11,178 --> 00:00:12,311 Did he say what it was about? 2 00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,056 No, and I tried to get him to tell me. 3 00:00:14,091 --> 00:00:15,887 He said he'd only speak to you. 4 00:00:15,922 --> 00:00:17,649 Well, I've got the weeks coming in. 5 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,603 They're fighting over the Nantucket house again. 6 00:00:19,686 --> 00:00:22,647 He says he'll only speak to you. 7 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:27,881 Dwight, how are you? 8 00:00:27,916 --> 00:00:30,363 Oh, not good, Shirley. 9 00:00:31,156 --> 00:00:34,534 - Why? - Jeanie is leaving me. 10 00:00:34,951 --> 00:00:37,043 What? Why? 11 00:00:37,078 --> 00:00:39,685 And she's trying to have the marriage annulled. 12 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:42,292 That's ridiculous, not to mention impossible. 13 00:00:42,327 --> 00:00:44,336 You've been married over 20 years. 14 00:00:44,419 --> 00:00:46,011 She just wants it all erased 15 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:49,507 as if, as if I never existed, I guess. 16 00:00:49,542 --> 00:00:52,302 Why? What's gotten into her? 17 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:57,515 Well, it's more of what I've gotten into, I suppose. 18 00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:00,143 I strayed. 19 00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:02,187 You? 20 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:05,613 Well, I, I can't pretend I'm not shocked. 21 00:01:05,648 --> 00:01:10,695 Even so, infidelity isn't grounds for annulment. 22 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:15,992 There's something you're not telling me. 23 00:01:17,118 --> 00:01:19,495 I strayed with Wendy. 24 00:01:19,530 --> 00:01:21,873 You've met Wendy. 25 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:23,875 Wendy... 26 00:01:25,501 --> 00:01:28,970 Your cow? 27 00:01:29,005 --> 00:01:31,014 We became very close. 28 00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:34,677 One night, I'd had a bit to drink, I suppose. 29 00:01:34,712 --> 00:01:38,306 Jeanie and I had been a little estranged, and... 30 00:01:39,098 --> 00:01:41,142 You strayed... 31 00:01:41,177 --> 00:01:43,151 with livestock? 32 00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:44,694 It's not what you think. 33 00:01:44,729 --> 00:01:47,405 It was all very loving. I know Jeanie. 34 00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:49,734 She's gonna try and make me out a big sicko. 35 00:01:49,769 --> 00:01:50,825 Geez. 36 00:01:50,860 --> 00:01:52,702 Obviously, I made a mistake, 37 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:55,788 but I've been a good husband for 23 years, 38 00:01:55,823 --> 00:01:58,450 a deacon at our church, a model philanthropist, 39 00:01:58,485 --> 00:02:01,078 a respected professor at a major university, 40 00:02:01,113 --> 00:02:03,556 a town selectman, even. 41 00:02:03,591 --> 00:02:05,880 You sleep with one cow. 42 00:02:05,915 --> 00:02:08,230 Please don't make sport. 43 00:02:08,265 --> 00:02:10,546 And don't make light. 44 00:02:10,838 --> 00:02:13,549 I don't want to lose my wife. 45 00:02:46,165 --> 00:02:48,250 You cannot turf this one to me. 46 00:02:48,333 --> 00:02:49,877 - Oh, but I can. - Shirley... 47 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,379 Look, I can defend almost 48 00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,840 anyone against almost anything but... 49 00:02:54,923 --> 00:02:57,468 growing up, I had a cow. 50 00:02:57,551 --> 00:03:00,554 - You? - Not sexually. As a pet. 51 00:03:00,637 --> 00:03:01,638 Bumpy. 52 00:03:01,722 --> 00:03:04,766 I had dogs, cats, a tree frog, but... 53 00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:06,393 Bumpy. 54 00:03:06,476 --> 00:03:08,478 I cherished that animal. 55 00:03:08,562 --> 00:03:11,273 To think what Dwight... 56 00:03:11,356 --> 00:03:12,482 I can't go there, Denise. 57 00:03:12,566 --> 00:03:13,692 What makes you think I can? 58 00:03:13,775 --> 00:03:15,110 You're being asked to. 59 00:03:15,193 --> 00:03:18,572 The name of this firm is Crane, Poole and Schmidt. 60 00:03:18,655 --> 00:03:20,032 I'm Schmidt. 61 00:03:20,115 --> 00:03:21,658 Shirley, please, I am begging you. 62 00:03:21,742 --> 00:03:23,076 - Someone's got to do it, Denise 63 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:24,953 Can't be me. 64 00:03:31,126 --> 00:03:33,093 Denny Crane. 65 00:03:33,128 --> 00:03:35,297 I don't know why I'm here. 66 00:03:36,381 --> 00:03:38,884 Denny Crane. I've been summoned. 67 00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:40,051 Denny Crane. 68 00:03:40,719 --> 00:03:41,887 Denny Crane. 69 00:03:42,387 --> 00:03:43,805 Denny Crane. 70 00:03:45,724 --> 00:03:47,684 Trial date is set for December the 71 00:03:47,767 --> 00:03:50,061 2nd. We will conference a week from today. 72 00:03:50,096 --> 00:03:52,355 Denny Crane. Who the hell called, and why? 73 00:03:52,390 --> 00:03:53,655 Oh, Denny Crane. 74 00:03:53,690 --> 00:03:57,840 Ah, Mr. Crane, recall Jessel, would you, please? 75 00:03:57,875 --> 00:04:01,990 Docket number 166253, commonwealth vs Ronald Jessel. 76 00:04:02,025 --> 00:04:03,700 Mr. Crane, you've been assigned to 77 00:04:03,742 --> 00:04:05,410 represent one of our indigent defendants. 78 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:06,453 Thank you for coming in. 79 00:04:06,488 --> 00:04:07,711 No can do, judge. 80 00:04:07,746 --> 00:04:09,664 - I beg your pardon? - Indigent are poor. 81 00:04:09,699 --> 00:04:11,339 Hate the poor. Can't pay. 82 00:04:11,374 --> 00:04:13,585 Mr. Crane, this isn't a request. It's a court order. 83 00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,128 Unless you think that senior 84 00:04:15,211 --> 00:04:16,671 partners are exempt from civic duty. 85 00:04:16,754 --> 00:04:18,214 Was it a hooker? I can do hookers. 86 00:04:18,298 --> 00:04:21,384 It's a murder case. Your client is right there. 87 00:04:25,722 --> 00:04:27,265 Defense pleads guilty. 88 00:04:27,300 --> 00:04:28,808 We accept the district 89 00:04:28,891 --> 00:04:30,518 attorney's recommendation for sentencing. 90 00:04:30,602 --> 00:04:31,602 Denny Crane. 91 00:04:31,686 --> 00:04:33,646 Come back here this instant, or 92 00:04:33,730 --> 00:04:35,648 you will be held in contempt, sir. 93 00:04:35,732 --> 00:04:36,858 What did you just say? 94 00:04:36,941 --> 00:04:38,192 You will meet your client. 95 00:04:38,276 --> 00:04:39,485 You will return here this 96 00:04:39,569 --> 00:04:40,737 afternoon to enter your plea, 97 00:04:40,820 --> 00:04:43,239 and you will give him adequate representation. 98 00:04:43,322 --> 00:04:45,283 He allegedly killed a 13-year-old 99 00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:47,201 girl, hence the presence of the media. 100 00:04:47,285 --> 00:04:51,289 He'll get high-profile representation as well. 101 00:04:51,372 --> 00:04:53,416 Go. 102 00:05:05,553 --> 00:05:07,722 Hope you die. 103 00:05:08,306 --> 00:05:09,890 Denny Crane. 104 00:05:28,784 --> 00:05:31,745 Hey! Kid. Front and center. 105 00:05:33,622 --> 00:05:35,040 Bet you'd lick my shoes for a 106 00:05:35,124 --> 00:05:36,417 murder case, wouldn't you, kid? 107 00:05:36,452 --> 00:05:38,210 I would, sir. 108 00:05:38,460 --> 00:05:40,379 Because I like you, you won't have to lick them. 109 00:05:40,462 --> 00:05:42,631 Just dust them with your sleeve. 110 00:05:42,715 --> 00:05:43,716 Yes, sir. 111 00:05:43,799 --> 00:05:45,342 We can't have a clown waxing 112 00:05:45,426 --> 00:05:46,969 on about G-8 and world issues. 113 00:05:47,052 --> 00:05:48,721 For god's sake, it's a children's show. 114 00:05:48,804 --> 00:05:50,472 - Well, when did you fire him? - Friday. 115 00:05:50,556 --> 00:05:52,266 He filed for the TRO yesterday. 116 00:05:52,349 --> 00:05:54,309 Look, this could be a public relations nightmare. 117 00:05:54,393 --> 00:05:57,688 He's the only Zozo the station's ever had. 118 00:05:58,272 --> 00:05:59,697 May I help you ladies? 119 00:05:59,732 --> 00:06:02,651 We're here for the assistant's position. 120 00:06:07,239 --> 00:06:09,575 Congratulations. You're hired. 121 00:06:09,610 --> 00:06:10,739 Thank you all. 122 00:06:10,774 --> 00:06:11,869 Let's go inside. 123 00:06:11,952 --> 00:06:13,120 Alan, you can't just do that. 124 00:06:13,203 --> 00:06:14,454 You have to at least interview. 125 00:06:14,538 --> 00:06:18,083 Why? I have a very strong feeling about this one. 126 00:06:18,166 --> 00:06:20,085 Can you type? 127 00:06:20,168 --> 00:06:22,504 - Some. - See? 128 00:06:24,298 --> 00:06:25,931 What happened to Shirley? 129 00:06:25,966 --> 00:06:28,260 Shirley likes to assign cases to the hot hand and, 130 00:06:28,295 --> 00:06:30,018 right now I'm hot. 131 00:06:30,053 --> 00:06:31,978 I've known her since we were kids. 132 00:06:32,013 --> 00:06:33,849 I mean, she knows me. That's, that's why... 133 00:06:33,884 --> 00:06:35,684 Which is exactly why you 134 00:06:35,767 --> 00:06:38,186 should be with someone else. 135 00:06:38,221 --> 00:06:40,605 Shirley could be too close 136 00:06:40,689 --> 00:06:43,692 to see things objectively. 137 00:06:45,527 --> 00:06:48,238 It's Bumpy, isn't it? 138 00:06:48,738 --> 00:06:51,908 I had such a crush on that cow. 139 00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:54,556 That doesn't make me gay. 140 00:06:54,591 --> 00:06:56,628 Mr. Biddle, have you, um, 141 00:06:56,663 --> 00:06:59,291 - Gotten counseling for this? - Yes. 142 00:06:59,326 --> 00:07:01,758 Yes. I'm working on it. 143 00:07:01,793 --> 00:07:05,150 Look, Jeanie married me for better or worse, right? 144 00:07:05,185 --> 00:07:08,508 And for 20-plus years, it's been a great marriage. 145 00:07:08,543 --> 00:07:10,635 I still love her. 146 00:07:11,219 --> 00:07:13,638 I don't want to lose her. 147 00:07:20,812 --> 00:07:22,897 Defense enters a plea of not guilty, your honor. 148 00:07:22,939 --> 00:07:24,148 At this time, we would like to 149 00:07:24,232 --> 00:07:25,525 be heard on bail. This matter... 150 00:07:25,608 --> 00:07:28,111 Hold on just a second. Where's Denny Crane? 151 00:07:28,194 --> 00:07:30,446 I'm an attorney from Crane, Poole & Schmidt, sir. 152 00:07:30,530 --> 00:07:32,115 I'm appearing... I didn't assign 153 00:07:32,198 --> 00:07:33,700 this case to Crane, Poole & Schmidt. 154 00:07:33,783 --> 00:07:35,451 I assigned it to Denny 155 00:07:35,535 --> 00:07:37,120 Crane, counselor. Where is he? 156 00:07:37,203 --> 00:07:39,205 He's back at the firm, sir. 157 00:07:39,288 --> 00:07:41,958 I asked him to do a little research. 158 00:07:42,041 --> 00:07:43,543 Are you making a joke in my 159 00:07:43,626 --> 00:07:45,002 courtroom, counsel? No, sir. 160 00:07:45,086 --> 00:07:47,296 Step up here, counsel. 161 00:07:50,007 --> 00:07:52,392 Have you ever tried a case before, counsel? 162 00:07:52,427 --> 00:07:56,722 I won my moot court competition at Suffolk, sir. 163 00:07:57,223 --> 00:07:58,689 Turn around. 164 00:07:58,724 --> 00:08:00,226 What are you going to do? 165 00:08:00,309 --> 00:08:01,818 I asked you to turn around. 166 00:08:01,853 --> 00:08:03,729 I see members of the media here. 167 00:08:03,813 --> 00:08:05,571 Some of you have video cameras. 168 00:08:05,606 --> 00:08:08,276 I invite you to point them this way. 169 00:08:08,311 --> 00:08:10,278 We like to think that all are 170 00:08:10,361 --> 00:08:12,780 entitled to a fair trial in this country, 171 00:08:12,815 --> 00:08:15,199 that we have an advocacy system about truth. 172 00:08:15,234 --> 00:08:17,375 But the real truth, the ugly one, 173 00:08:17,410 --> 00:08:21,038 is that the indigent get anything but fairness. 174 00:08:21,073 --> 00:08:23,891 On this side, we have a district attorney 175 00:08:23,926 --> 00:08:26,653 with 50 homicide trials under his belt, 176 00:08:26,688 --> 00:08:29,380 and here, representing the accused, 177 00:08:29,415 --> 00:08:31,841 we have a boy who won his moot 178 00:08:31,924 --> 00:08:34,260 court competition in law school. 179 00:08:34,295 --> 00:08:35,966 This is how it is, people. 180 00:08:36,001 --> 00:08:37,638 The poor get the lawyers who 181 00:08:37,721 --> 00:08:39,327 can't get real clients of their own. 182 00:08:39,362 --> 00:08:40,933 We have a system where the state 183 00:08:41,016 --> 00:08:42,525 matches the best and the brightest 184 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:44,728 against defense attorneys coming out of 185 00:08:44,812 --> 00:08:47,043 a pool of inexperience and incompetence. 186 00:08:47,078 --> 00:08:49,281 It is an insult to our notion of democracy. 187 00:08:49,316 --> 00:08:51,450 It makes a mockery of criminal justice. 188 00:08:51,485 --> 00:08:54,530 I will not indulge a mockery in my courtroom. 189 00:08:54,565 --> 00:08:56,205 Turn around, counsel. 190 00:08:56,240 --> 00:09:00,577 Put one arm behind your back, as if it were tied. 191 00:09:00,612 --> 00:09:02,544 Now stand on one leg 192 00:09:02,579 --> 00:09:04,790 as if your client barely has a leg 193 00:09:04,873 --> 00:09:07,042 to stand on with you as his counsel. 194 00:09:07,077 --> 00:09:08,811 Now you hop on out of here. 195 00:09:08,846 --> 00:09:10,546 Tell Denny Crane if he doesn't 196 00:09:10,629 --> 00:09:12,089 show up to represent his client, 197 00:09:12,124 --> 00:09:14,758 he will be jailed. 198 00:09:14,793 --> 00:09:17,302 Hop, now! 199 00:09:32,359 --> 00:09:35,904 Clown goes up first. Why don't you take him? 200 00:09:36,697 --> 00:09:38,865 Do you have a real name on this guy? 201 00:09:38,900 --> 00:09:40,283 Yeah, Robert Berrin, but 202 00:09:40,367 --> 00:09:41,660 he's been Zozo for 13 years. 203 00:09:41,701 --> 00:09:44,579 I figure I'll take our client on direct. 204 00:09:44,614 --> 00:09:46,463 This is at-will employment? 205 00:09:46,498 --> 00:09:49,042 Yes, but the discharge has to be in good faith. 206 00:09:49,077 --> 00:09:51,294 He was up for a big contract bump. So 207 00:09:51,378 --> 00:09:53,547 my bet is they're gonna argue pretext. 208 00:09:53,582 --> 00:09:54,638 Excuse me. 209 00:09:54,673 --> 00:09:57,050 Could I steal Alan for one second? 210 00:09:57,085 --> 00:09:59,153 We're in a meeting, Melissa. 211 00:09:59,188 --> 00:10:01,226 Oh. Yeah. It's, it's just... 212 00:10:01,261 --> 00:10:03,265 I started thinking. I think the 213 00:10:03,348 --> 00:10:05,350 high of getting the job kind of... 214 00:10:05,385 --> 00:10:06,893 It just hit me. Um, the 215 00:10:06,977 --> 00:10:08,624 criterion on which I was hired, 216 00:10:08,659 --> 00:10:10,271 and now that I am hired, I just 217 00:10:10,355 --> 00:10:12,190 thought that I should be clear. 218 00:10:12,357 --> 00:10:14,282 I will not be objectified. 219 00:10:14,317 --> 00:10:16,403 I will not be ogled. If I am, I write you up. 220 00:10:16,438 --> 00:10:18,071 And no touching, no double 221 00:10:18,154 --> 00:10:19,864 entendres, no comments on what I'm wearing. 222 00:10:19,948 --> 00:10:21,825 If I get any of that, I write you up. 223 00:10:21,908 --> 00:10:23,576 I'm your assistant, not your 224 00:10:23,660 --> 00:10:25,245 subordinate. You cross that line, I... 225 00:10:25,328 --> 00:10:27,413 I write you up. 226 00:10:27,497 --> 00:10:30,959 Follow the rules, we should get along fine. 227 00:10:32,252 --> 00:10:33,962 That's all. 228 00:10:36,089 --> 00:10:38,383 I told you to interview. 229 00:10:42,470 --> 00:10:45,890 I will not indulge a mockery in my courtroom. 230 00:10:45,925 --> 00:10:47,617 Turn around, counsel. 231 00:10:47,652 --> 00:10:49,275 Now stand on one leg, 232 00:10:49,310 --> 00:10:51,229 as if your client barely has a leg 233 00:10:51,312 --> 00:10:53,147 to stand on with you as his counsel. 234 00:10:53,189 --> 00:10:54,878 Now you hop on out of here. 235 00:10:54,913 --> 00:10:56,567 Tell Denny Crane if he doesn't 236 00:10:56,651 --> 00:10:57,944 show up to represent his client, 237 00:10:57,979 --> 00:10:59,487 he will be jailed. 238 00:10:59,522 --> 00:11:01,079 Hop, now! 239 00:11:01,114 --> 00:11:03,241 That was the scene at the courthouse this morning. 240 00:11:03,276 --> 00:11:05,117 Channel 8 own legal analyst Mike 241 00:11:05,201 --> 00:11:06,953 Turfer said he's never seen anything... 242 00:11:06,994 --> 00:11:08,621 A judge says to hop, you do it? 243 00:11:08,704 --> 00:11:10,122 All right, Denny, you 244 00:11:10,206 --> 00:11:11,707 obviously need to take over this case. 245 00:11:11,791 --> 00:11:13,668 We can send Alan in as backup. 246 00:11:13,751 --> 00:11:15,086 - I don't need backup. - Denny... 247 00:11:15,169 --> 00:11:19,507 I can handle this case. I can handle this judge. 248 00:11:20,132 --> 00:11:22,342 A homicide, right? 249 00:11:22,377 --> 00:11:24,553 Homicide and rape. 250 00:11:34,647 --> 00:11:36,732 Mister Rogers, Sesame street, 251 00:11:36,767 --> 00:11:38,818 Thomas the tank engine, the 252 00:11:38,859 --> 00:11:40,576 magic school bus, oh, you name it. 253 00:11:40,611 --> 00:11:44,031 All the top children's entertainers are educators. 254 00:11:44,066 --> 00:11:45,783 He never said he'd be in costume. 255 00:11:45,866 --> 00:11:46,867 Always in public. 256 00:11:46,951 --> 00:11:49,328 But, Mr. Berrin, why global warming? 257 00:11:49,411 --> 00:11:50,913 Mainly because it's possibly the 258 00:11:50,996 --> 00:11:52,456 number one threat to this planet, 259 00:11:52,539 --> 00:11:54,541 and our country's doing almost nothing. 260 00:11:54,625 --> 00:11:56,251 Can you do the cross? 261 00:11:56,335 --> 00:11:58,545 Uh, even so, uh, 262 00:11:58,629 --> 00:12:02,633 none of this seems funny, and you're a clown. 263 00:12:02,716 --> 00:12:05,302 Global warming could result in a rising sea level 264 00:12:05,386 --> 00:12:06,970 that could make a huge part 265 00:12:07,054 --> 00:12:08,514 of the world uninhabitable. 266 00:12:08,597 --> 00:12:11,391 We as Americans have a responsibility. 267 00:12:11,475 --> 00:12:15,437 The U.S. makes up 4% of the world's population, 268 00:12:15,521 --> 00:12:19,316 but we produce 25% of the carbon dioxide pollution, 269 00:12:19,399 --> 00:12:21,026 most of any country. 270 00:12:21,109 --> 00:12:22,736 The United states is the 271 00:12:22,819 --> 00:12:24,321 leading cause of global warming. 272 00:12:24,404 --> 00:12:26,323 We need to take a leading 273 00:12:26,406 --> 00:12:28,242 role in finding the solution. 274 00:12:35,290 --> 00:12:37,668 Let's go. You're up. 275 00:12:39,836 --> 00:12:41,442 You go. 276 00:12:41,477 --> 00:12:43,048 What? 277 00:12:44,132 --> 00:12:46,385 No questions, your honor. 278 00:12:47,803 --> 00:12:49,061 What are you doing? 279 00:12:49,096 --> 00:12:52,766 If you want to cross-examine him, Brad, you do it. 280 00:12:52,801 --> 00:12:53,899 What's going on? 281 00:12:53,934 --> 00:12:57,103 Nobody ever said he'd be in costume. 282 00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:05,362 I'm afraid of clowns. 283 00:13:08,281 --> 00:13:10,158 How can anybody be afraid of a clown? 284 00:13:10,193 --> 00:13:11,625 Keep your voice down. 285 00:13:11,660 --> 00:13:13,168 Now his testimony goes uncontested. 286 00:13:13,203 --> 00:13:15,330 - You could have crossed. - I didn't prep a cross. 287 00:13:15,365 --> 00:13:17,040 - What's going on? - He's afraid of clowns. 288 00:13:17,075 --> 00:13:18,590 I am not. 289 00:13:18,625 --> 00:13:20,502 It was strategy. 290 00:13:21,294 --> 00:13:22,587 Hey. 291 00:13:27,133 --> 00:13:28,530 Any calls? 292 00:13:28,565 --> 00:13:29,928 Not really. 293 00:13:30,094 --> 00:13:32,263 Afraid of clowns, huh? 294 00:13:38,186 --> 00:13:40,813 You cannot enter a plea of guilty. 295 00:13:40,848 --> 00:13:41,946 Why not? 296 00:13:41,981 --> 00:13:43,524 It is your intent, sir, to 297 00:13:43,608 --> 00:13:45,026 plead guilty to these crimes? 298 00:13:45,068 --> 00:13:46,534 Um, no, sir. 299 00:13:46,569 --> 00:13:48,446 You're not gonna take his word for it, are you? 300 00:13:48,529 --> 00:13:49,530 Come on, judge. 301 00:13:49,614 --> 00:13:51,199 If he'd murder, he'd lie. 302 00:13:51,282 --> 00:13:53,534 Step up here, Mr. Crane. 303 00:13:53,618 --> 00:13:55,036 Yes. 304 00:14:00,208 --> 00:14:01,459 You can stop trying to get 305 00:14:01,501 --> 00:14:02,752 yourself off the case, counsel. 306 00:14:02,835 --> 00:14:03,920 That isn't going to happen. 307 00:14:04,003 --> 00:14:06,839 Look, judge, I can't defend a man 308 00:14:06,923 --> 00:14:09,133 who raped and murdered a 13-year-old girl. 309 00:14:09,217 --> 00:14:10,885 - Somebody's got to do it. - Why me? 310 00:14:10,968 --> 00:14:13,054 Because I said so. 311 00:14:13,137 --> 00:14:15,431 Which brings me to my second issue. 312 00:14:15,514 --> 00:14:16,515 Which is 313 00:14:16,599 --> 00:14:18,684 You're a douche bag. I 314 00:14:18,768 --> 00:14:20,770 don't do well with douche bags. 315 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,167 That won't work either. 316 00:14:23,202 --> 00:14:24,676 You will try this case. 317 00:14:24,711 --> 00:14:26,150 All you will accomplish 318 00:14:26,233 --> 00:14:27,568 with this unfettered insolence 319 00:14:27,603 --> 00:14:29,820 is a jail sentence for 320 00:14:29,904 --> 00:14:32,677 contempt after you've tried this case. 321 00:14:32,712 --> 00:14:35,451 Do I make myself clear, Mr. Crane? 322 00:14:45,336 --> 00:14:48,088 I can understand that she's horrified, 323 00:14:48,123 --> 00:14:50,087 but to annul the marriage? 324 00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:52,016 Your honor, it is so aberrant. 325 00:14:52,051 --> 00:14:55,054 It is such an abomination. It is so abhorrent. 326 00:14:55,089 --> 00:14:56,722 And she's just on the "A" words. 327 00:14:56,757 --> 00:14:58,355 Let's go to "B" then. 328 00:14:58,390 --> 00:15:00,726 Bestiality... Is not, ever 329 00:15:00,809 --> 00:15:02,985 has been grounds for annulment. 330 00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:08,233 Mrs. Biddle, why erase the whole marriage? 331 00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:12,453 Because it was never real. 332 00:15:12,488 --> 00:15:15,199 He was always in love with her. 333 00:15:15,282 --> 00:15:16,283 The cow. 334 00:15:16,366 --> 00:15:18,994 Over the last ten years or so, 335 00:15:19,077 --> 00:15:21,705 sometimes when we'd been 336 00:15:21,789 --> 00:15:24,374 together, which was never a lot, 337 00:15:24,458 --> 00:15:28,003 he'd call out her name, Wendy. 338 00:15:28,086 --> 00:15:32,090 And before her, there was another cow. 339 00:15:32,174 --> 00:15:33,884 Another cow? 340 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,427 Queenie. 341 00:15:35,510 --> 00:15:36,929 I never caught them, 342 00:15:37,012 --> 00:15:39,556 but I saw the way he looked at her, 343 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,558 and he would call out her name, too, 344 00:15:41,642 --> 00:15:46,813 and then try to cover by saying I was his queen. 345 00:15:46,897 --> 00:15:50,776 This marriage is not real. 346 00:15:50,859 --> 00:15:53,904 And it hurts. 347 00:15:57,115 --> 00:16:01,453 Mr. Biddle, I need to hear from you. 348 00:16:01,703 --> 00:16:04,247 - Why? - Because I do. 349 00:16:04,282 --> 00:16:06,089 It's shocking. 350 00:16:06,124 --> 00:16:08,668 Tomorrow you will sit in that witness chair 351 00:16:08,703 --> 00:16:11,880 and tell me why I shouldn't 352 00:16:11,963 --> 00:16:15,091 annul this union you've so disgraced. 353 00:16:20,263 --> 00:16:23,933 See, if you request another lawyer, the judge... 354 00:16:23,968 --> 00:16:26,311 I ain't requesting nothing. 355 00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,271 You have to. We don't get along. 356 00:16:28,306 --> 00:16:30,488 I like you just fine. 357 00:16:30,523 --> 00:16:32,233 You're a big lawyer with big suck. 358 00:16:32,268 --> 00:16:34,451 You're just what I need. 359 00:16:34,486 --> 00:16:36,738 Look, I can't bring myself to defend 360 00:16:36,779 --> 00:16:38,948 a man who killed a 13-year-old girl. 361 00:16:38,983 --> 00:16:41,207 Oh, come on, man. 362 00:16:41,242 --> 00:16:43,912 Probably did her a favor. 363 00:16:45,288 --> 00:16:47,999 - What did you say? - I got AIDS, Denny Crane. 364 00:16:48,034 --> 00:16:49,709 She could have had a lot of suffering 365 00:16:49,792 --> 00:16:51,461 ahead because I really went to town. 366 00:16:51,496 --> 00:16:53,344 You know what I mean? 367 00:16:53,379 --> 00:16:56,674 She's probably lucky I ended it quick. 368 00:16:59,177 --> 00:17:01,144 Well, if you really have AIDS, 369 00:17:01,179 --> 00:17:02,805 there could be other psychological 370 00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:04,397 defenses available to us. Yeah. 371 00:17:04,432 --> 00:17:08,561 Like traumatic distress, insanity, perhaps. 372 00:17:08,596 --> 00:17:09,771 On the other hand... 373 00:17:09,806 --> 00:17:10,820 What the... 374 00:17:10,855 --> 00:17:12,190 It was an accident. 375 00:17:12,648 --> 00:17:13,649 Oops! 376 00:17:13,733 --> 00:17:14,942 Freeze! Drop it! 377 00:17:15,026 --> 00:17:17,862 He came at me. I feared for my life. 378 00:17:19,322 --> 00:17:21,699 He should probably get new counsel. 379 00:17:55,524 --> 00:17:57,158 When's the arraignment? 380 00:17:57,193 --> 00:18:00,613 Paul's trying to head it off. 381 00:18:08,370 --> 00:18:10,539 Denny, for god's sake. 382 00:18:10,574 --> 00:18:12,374 You know, Alan... 383 00:18:13,792 --> 00:18:15,711 I'm old. 384 00:18:16,712 --> 00:18:22,363 And I'm not going to spend what time I have left, 385 00:18:22,398 --> 00:18:28,015 not even a day, defending child rapist killers. 386 00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:31,685 I'd rather go to jail myself. 387 00:18:33,145 --> 00:18:36,398 I hear you're afraid of clowns. 388 00:18:39,151 --> 00:18:41,445 First time in my 389 00:18:41,528 --> 00:18:43,739 professional career I actually froze. 390 00:18:43,774 --> 00:18:46,325 What happened? 391 00:18:49,411 --> 00:18:51,371 When I was 3 years old, my 392 00:18:51,455 --> 00:18:54,937 mother put some decorative, 393 00:18:54,972 --> 00:18:58,420 hideous clown face in my room. 394 00:18:58,455 --> 00:19:00,961 It so terrified me. 395 00:19:00,996 --> 00:19:03,432 I'd wet my bed, 396 00:19:03,467 --> 00:19:07,679 too afraid to pass him on my way to the bathroom. 397 00:19:07,714 --> 00:19:09,521 When I was 8, 398 00:19:09,556 --> 00:19:13,143 I was again terrorized by a clown 399 00:19:13,226 --> 00:19:16,771 at a parade, the very same face. 400 00:19:18,148 --> 00:19:20,942 I wet myself right there in the street. 401 00:19:20,977 --> 00:19:22,784 And today... 402 00:19:22,819 --> 00:19:26,406 the same face again. 403 00:19:26,656 --> 00:19:30,118 I didn't dare get up for fear I'd... 404 00:19:30,153 --> 00:19:33,580 leave a puddle right in the courtroom. 405 00:19:34,956 --> 00:19:39,294 You do have issues, don't you? 406 00:19:40,545 --> 00:19:43,304 Denny, this is serious. 407 00:19:43,339 --> 00:19:47,218 You could be looking at real jail time. 408 00:19:57,020 --> 00:19:59,605 Dwight, have you sought professional help? 409 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:00,606 Yes. 410 00:20:00,690 --> 00:20:05,153 My therapist, he said the genesis of my infatuation 411 00:20:05,236 --> 00:20:07,989 could have the unconditional 412 00:20:08,072 --> 00:20:10,742 adoration and acceptance I get from... 413 00:20:10,825 --> 00:20:11,868 Wendy. 414 00:20:11,951 --> 00:20:13,202 Yes. 415 00:20:13,286 --> 00:20:15,413 And didn't your therapist also tell you 416 00:20:15,496 --> 00:20:18,666 your love for your wife Jeanie is in play here? 417 00:20:18,749 --> 00:20:20,001 Yes. 418 00:20:20,084 --> 00:20:22,420 Could you elaborate? 419 00:20:23,004 --> 00:20:27,717 Well, Jeanie looks a little like a cow. 420 00:20:28,259 --> 00:20:29,260 You see? 421 00:20:29,343 --> 00:20:31,554 I fell in love with Wendy 422 00:20:31,637 --> 00:20:33,848 because she reminded me of you. 423 00:20:40,563 --> 00:20:42,398 I won't insult you, Scott, 424 00:20:42,481 --> 00:20:44,156 by condoning Denny's actions. 425 00:20:44,191 --> 00:20:46,673 - Self-defense. - But a district attorney, 426 00:20:46,708 --> 00:20:49,099 and I know you know this because I taught you, 427 00:20:49,134 --> 00:20:51,490 a district attorney should not bring a case 428 00:20:51,525 --> 00:20:53,033 when he lacks a good faith 429 00:20:53,117 --> 00:20:54,625 belief of conviction. Hero. 430 00:20:54,660 --> 00:20:56,745 Even if you could refute self-defense. 431 00:20:56,829 --> 00:20:57,830 Can't. 432 00:20:57,913 --> 00:21:00,958 No jury is going to convict him of wounding a man 433 00:21:01,041 --> 00:21:03,919 who raped and strangled a 13-year-old girl. 434 00:21:04,003 --> 00:21:06,547 What message are you asking me to send, Paul? 435 00:21:06,630 --> 00:21:09,133 If a crime is popular enough, don't prosecute? 436 00:21:09,216 --> 00:21:11,218 You haven't got evidence. 437 00:21:11,302 --> 00:21:13,220 It's Denny's word against the 438 00:21:13,304 --> 00:21:15,180 child rapist's. Feared for my life. 439 00:21:15,264 --> 00:21:19,393 And since you broached the topic of popularity... 440 00:21:19,476 --> 00:21:22,354 you want to make attorney general, Scott. 441 00:21:22,438 --> 00:21:24,898 One needs public support to accomplish that. 442 00:21:24,982 --> 00:21:27,526 How popular do you think you'll 443 00:21:27,609 --> 00:21:30,112 be if you prosecute Denny Crane? 444 00:21:30,195 --> 00:21:32,114 Denny Crane. 445 00:21:33,782 --> 00:21:36,702 It's a children's show, for god's sake. 446 00:21:36,737 --> 00:21:38,704 He's a clown, and he's waxing 447 00:21:38,787 --> 00:21:40,706 on about the end of the world. 448 00:21:40,741 --> 00:21:42,454 Did you talk to him? 449 00:21:42,489 --> 00:21:44,132 Over and over and over. 450 00:21:44,167 --> 00:21:47,254 He said he had a social responsibility. 451 00:21:47,289 --> 00:21:49,298 My god, we had viewers clicking 452 00:21:49,339 --> 00:21:51,633 over to Aaron Brown for a laugh. 453 00:21:51,668 --> 00:21:53,569 Our show became preachy, unfunny. 454 00:21:53,604 --> 00:21:55,435 Ratings started to reflect it, 455 00:21:55,470 --> 00:21:58,223 and we simply had to get a new clown. 456 00:21:58,306 --> 00:21:59,975 Zozo talked about 9/11? 457 00:22:00,058 --> 00:22:01,893 Yes, to help children cope. 458 00:22:01,977 --> 00:22:03,145 The Columbine shootings? 459 00:22:03,228 --> 00:22:05,689 Many times he discussed tragic current events. 460 00:22:05,772 --> 00:22:07,691 So you're firing him for 461 00:22:07,774 --> 00:22:09,609 discussing serious subject matter, 462 00:22:09,693 --> 00:22:12,320 when he's done so in the past with your approval? 463 00:22:12,404 --> 00:22:13,405 There is a line. 464 00:22:13,488 --> 00:22:15,156 Telling our viewers the planet is 465 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:16,825 about to become extinct crosses it. 466 00:22:16,908 --> 00:22:18,910 After he told the kids to ask 467 00:22:18,994 --> 00:22:20,870 their parents about hybrid cars, 468 00:22:20,954 --> 00:22:22,497 that's when he got fired, wasn't it? 469 00:22:22,581 --> 00:22:24,291 This has nothing to do with hybrid... 470 00:22:24,374 --> 00:22:27,377 WKNW is owned by an oil and gas company. 471 00:22:27,460 --> 00:22:29,087 Nothing to do with our 472 00:22:29,170 --> 00:22:30,714 parent company. He wasn't funny. 473 00:22:30,797 --> 00:22:33,633 We needed a funny clown. 474 00:22:45,770 --> 00:22:47,605 How's it going? 475 00:22:47,939 --> 00:22:49,899 I'm sitting here trying to come up 476 00:22:49,983 --> 00:22:51,860 with a closing to defend bestiality. 477 00:22:51,895 --> 00:22:53,409 That's how it's going. 478 00:22:53,444 --> 00:22:57,115 You don't have to defend it so much as... 479 00:22:57,323 --> 00:22:58,678 What's this? 480 00:22:58,713 --> 00:22:59,999 Research. 481 00:23:00,034 --> 00:23:02,620 Do you realize that studies show 482 00:23:02,704 --> 00:23:05,206 10 to 30% of sexually active adults 483 00:23:05,241 --> 00:23:08,251 have fantasized or had some 484 00:23:08,334 --> 00:23:11,254 form of encounter with an animal? 485 00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:13,131 Denise, I... 486 00:23:14,882 --> 00:23:16,843 Are we ready? 487 00:23:16,878 --> 00:23:18,636 All set. 488 00:23:20,096 --> 00:23:22,056 You don't have to treat me like a leper, Shirley. 489 00:23:22,140 --> 00:23:24,267 I don't have a disease. 490 00:23:24,350 --> 00:23:26,352 Dwight, you're my friend, 491 00:23:26,435 --> 00:23:30,439 and I will try to stand by you through this but, 492 00:23:30,523 --> 00:23:33,276 let's not pretend you don't have a serious illness. 493 00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:35,528 There are worse things than loving an animal. 494 00:23:35,611 --> 00:23:38,406 Really? Name three. 495 00:23:38,489 --> 00:23:41,117 You know, I was never gonna tell you this. 496 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:45,079 When you were 13, and your parents sent Bumpy away, 497 00:23:45,162 --> 00:23:47,039 it wasn't to some greener pasture 498 00:23:47,123 --> 00:23:48,958 where he'd be happier like they told you. 499 00:23:49,041 --> 00:23:51,335 Bumpy went to a slaughterhouse. 500 00:23:51,419 --> 00:23:54,380 And then he returned to your freezer. 501 00:23:54,463 --> 00:23:56,632 You ate him, Shirley. 502 00:23:56,715 --> 00:23:59,176 So don't get so high and mighty with me. 503 00:23:59,260 --> 00:24:01,971 You ate your precious Bumpy! 504 00:24:10,145 --> 00:24:12,321 Why should I have to close? 505 00:24:12,356 --> 00:24:14,108 Why should I have done everything else? 506 00:24:14,191 --> 00:24:15,192 Exactly. 507 00:24:15,276 --> 00:24:19,154 You've got a connection going that... 508 00:24:19,363 --> 00:24:20,579 I lack. 509 00:24:20,614 --> 00:24:25,202 Why are you afraid of clowns? Really. 510 00:24:26,412 --> 00:24:28,476 Because... 511 00:24:28,511 --> 00:24:30,506 they're evil. 512 00:24:30,541 --> 00:24:33,425 And it simply isn't right 513 00:24:33,460 --> 00:24:38,715 for parents to tell their children to just... 514 00:24:38,750 --> 00:24:42,135 trust them so. 515 00:24:43,554 --> 00:24:47,516 Did a clown ever... do anything to you? 516 00:24:47,551 --> 00:24:49,268 No! 517 00:24:49,601 --> 00:24:51,687 They're just... 518 00:24:51,722 --> 00:24:53,498 evil. 519 00:24:53,533 --> 00:24:55,274 Alan... 520 00:24:55,565 --> 00:24:57,199 you need to close. 521 00:24:57,234 --> 00:24:58,819 First, you have a better grip on 522 00:24:58,860 --> 00:25:00,695 this whole global warming issue, 523 00:25:00,730 --> 00:25:02,531 which I tend to dismiss as... 524 00:25:02,566 --> 00:25:04,154 Fuzzy math. 525 00:25:04,189 --> 00:25:05,742 And second, 526 00:25:05,826 --> 00:25:07,744 at some point, every man, 527 00:25:07,828 --> 00:25:09,704 even the half-evolved kind, 528 00:25:09,788 --> 00:25:11,790 needs to confront his fears. 529 00:25:11,873 --> 00:25:16,503 You need to stand up and deliver this closing. 530 00:25:16,670 --> 00:25:19,089 Will the clown be there? 531 00:25:34,938 --> 00:25:37,273 Animal rights activists are obviously very upset, 532 00:25:37,357 --> 00:25:39,693 though it should be noted there is no 533 00:25:39,776 --> 00:25:41,986 evidence that the cow ever complained. 534 00:25:42,070 --> 00:25:45,031 Your client's behavior doesn't shock you, counsel? 535 00:25:45,066 --> 00:25:49,160 Of course it does. But sex with animals? 536 00:25:49,195 --> 00:25:50,919 It's hardly a new concept. 537 00:25:50,954 --> 00:25:53,915 Greek literature is full of it. So is art. 538 00:25:53,950 --> 00:25:55,792 Chagall. Picasso. 539 00:25:55,875 --> 00:25:57,634 Rembrandt. They've all depicted it. 540 00:25:57,669 --> 00:26:00,720 To this day, men still dream of mermaids. 541 00:26:00,755 --> 00:26:04,592 And what woman hasn't had a friend with a half-man, 542 00:26:04,627 --> 00:26:07,268 half-bull fantasy? 543 00:26:07,303 --> 00:26:09,812 Your honor, I need you to listen. 544 00:26:09,847 --> 00:26:13,184 Look, if you intend to romanticize the idea... 545 00:26:13,267 --> 00:26:14,769 Shakespeare already did that 546 00:26:14,852 --> 00:26:16,229 in "A midsummer night's dream." 547 00:26:16,312 --> 00:26:20,233 So did yeats in his famous poem "Leda and the swan." 548 00:26:20,316 --> 00:26:23,945 "How can these terrified, vague fingers" 549 00:26:24,028 --> 00:26:28,783 "push the feathered glory from her loosened thighs?" 550 00:26:28,866 --> 00:26:30,368 Lord, love a duck! 551 00:26:30,451 --> 00:26:31,577 So did Leda. 552 00:26:31,661 --> 00:26:33,621 And who can forget King Kong and Fay Wray? 553 00:26:33,704 --> 00:26:36,249 And where did Stuart Little come from? 554 00:26:36,332 --> 00:26:39,627 Sex with a cow is outrageous. 555 00:26:39,710 --> 00:26:41,170 It's gross. 556 00:26:41,254 --> 00:26:42,797 And it's every bit as 557 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:44,340 shocking as the plaintiff contends, 558 00:26:44,423 --> 00:26:46,592 but it is not grounds for annulment. 559 00:26:46,676 --> 00:26:49,470 And if you suddenly declare that it is, watch out. 560 00:26:49,553 --> 00:26:50,888 Because there very well 561 00:26:50,972 --> 00:26:52,223 may be more of this out there 562 00:26:52,306 --> 00:26:55,643 than any of us want to believe. 563 00:26:56,310 --> 00:26:58,569 He cheated on his wife. 564 00:26:58,604 --> 00:27:00,898 She's entitled to a divorce. 565 00:27:00,940 --> 00:27:03,359 But bestiality is not, never 566 00:27:03,442 --> 00:27:05,820 has been grounds for annulment. 567 00:27:05,855 --> 00:27:08,322 By the way, in some states 568 00:27:08,405 --> 00:27:10,825 it's not even expressly outlawed. 569 00:27:11,450 --> 00:27:16,872 Of course, she's humiliated and feeling disgraced. 570 00:27:16,907 --> 00:27:19,500 But that doesn't change the fact 571 00:27:19,535 --> 00:27:22,419 they had a marriage. 572 00:27:38,602 --> 00:27:40,229 None of this is to say we 573 00:27:40,312 --> 00:27:41,897 believe in Mr. Crane's innocence. 574 00:27:41,932 --> 00:27:42,863 We don't. 575 00:27:42,898 --> 00:27:44,691 But we have to face the reality 576 00:27:44,726 --> 00:27:46,151 we lack a good faith 577 00:27:46,235 --> 00:27:47,694 belief of securing a conviction. 578 00:27:47,729 --> 00:27:49,321 We're therefore declining to 579 00:27:49,404 --> 00:27:50,948 make an arrest at this time. 580 00:27:50,989 --> 00:27:54,117 Personally, I am disgusted by his conduct, 581 00:27:54,152 --> 00:27:56,119 and I will report his actions 582 00:27:56,203 --> 00:27:58,121 to the board of bar overseers. 583 00:27:58,247 --> 00:28:00,248 The putz. 584 00:28:00,707 --> 00:28:03,168 - You ought to be happy. - I'm not happy. 585 00:28:03,203 --> 00:28:04,795 He insulted me on live television. 586 00:28:04,830 --> 00:28:06,470 You dodged a bullet, Denny. 587 00:28:06,505 --> 00:28:09,549 And took one right in the ass. The putz! 588 00:28:10,675 --> 00:28:12,386 He had incorporated many 589 00:28:12,469 --> 00:28:14,096 serious subjects into his programs, 590 00:28:14,179 --> 00:28:16,473 all with the station's approval. 591 00:28:16,556 --> 00:28:18,683 But when he moved on to global 592 00:28:18,767 --> 00:28:20,769 warming, carbon dioxide pollution, 593 00:28:20,852 --> 00:28:22,896 he suddenly had to be stopped? 594 00:28:22,979 --> 00:28:25,774 Because he was suddenly less funny? 595 00:28:25,857 --> 00:28:26,900 No. 596 00:28:26,983 --> 00:28:31,196 Because the station was owned by Globoco oil. 597 00:28:31,279 --> 00:28:34,783 This discharge was wrongful. It was in bad faith. 598 00:28:34,866 --> 00:28:37,661 My client has built this company's 599 00:28:37,744 --> 00:28:40,413 fortunes for 13 years being Zozo. 600 00:28:40,497 --> 00:28:41,998 It is his livelihood. 601 00:28:42,082 --> 00:28:45,293 He's perhaps the most popular clown in this country. 602 00:28:45,377 --> 00:28:47,837 And this court should issue a TRO 603 00:28:47,921 --> 00:28:51,841 to stop this outrageous travesty of justice. 604 00:29:16,699 --> 00:29:19,744 I could be wrong, but a 605 00:29:19,827 --> 00:29:22,830 clown's main job is to be funny. 606 00:29:22,865 --> 00:29:25,375 Global warming is not. 607 00:29:25,416 --> 00:29:28,711 Your honor, the Arctic polar ice cap is 608 00:29:28,795 --> 00:29:31,798 declining at the rate of 9% per decade. 609 00:29:31,833 --> 00:29:34,801 We're talking about a rising sea level 610 00:29:34,836 --> 00:29:36,969 that could wipe out huge 611 00:29:37,053 --> 00:29:39,096 pieces of the world's landmass, 612 00:29:39,180 --> 00:29:41,974 more importantly, us. 613 00:29:42,058 --> 00:29:45,645 Massachusetts, California, our coastlines. 614 00:29:45,728 --> 00:29:48,814 That simply isn't funny. 615 00:29:48,898 --> 00:29:51,359 Unless, of course, you live in Nevada. 616 00:29:51,442 --> 00:29:52,652 Don't get me wrong. 617 00:29:52,735 --> 00:29:56,280 Millions of Americans go to sleep at night 618 00:29:56,364 --> 00:29:59,367 praying that the nation's number one clown 619 00:29:59,450 --> 00:30:02,453 will finally start caring about global warming. 620 00:30:02,536 --> 00:30:06,290 But this is a children's entertainment show. 621 00:30:06,373 --> 00:30:07,917 And let me ask you. 622 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,586 If our own government is allowed to 623 00:30:10,669 --> 00:30:13,214 edit and alter scientific findings, 624 00:30:13,297 --> 00:30:15,257 if it can control the 625 00:30:15,341 --> 00:30:17,218 information flow on this subject, 626 00:30:17,301 --> 00:30:21,180 why then shouldn't a private television station 627 00:30:21,263 --> 00:30:24,683 get to enjoy that same freedom? 628 00:30:24,767 --> 00:30:26,894 You're a clown. 629 00:30:26,977 --> 00:30:28,938 Be funny. 630 00:30:31,774 --> 00:30:34,610 Global warming is not. 631 00:31:08,727 --> 00:31:10,646 In 35 years, Denny, I have 632 00:31:10,729 --> 00:31:12,606 never forbidden you to do anything. 633 00:31:12,641 --> 00:31:13,607 Don't start now. 634 00:31:13,690 --> 00:31:16,193 I will call the partners together right now. 635 00:31:16,276 --> 00:31:17,277 What's going on? 636 00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:19,279 He's going on... 637 00:31:19,362 --> 00:31:20,989 "Larry King." 638 00:31:21,073 --> 00:31:22,741 What? Tonight. He's 639 00:31:22,824 --> 00:31:24,409 catching the 7 o'clock shuttle. 640 00:31:24,493 --> 00:31:26,119 Denny, you can't be serious. 641 00:31:26,203 --> 00:31:28,371 Why does everybody insist I can't be serious? 642 00:31:28,455 --> 00:31:30,874 The district attorney 643 00:31:30,957 --> 00:31:33,251 slathered me on live television. 644 00:31:33,335 --> 00:31:34,961 I think you mean "slandered." 645 00:31:35,045 --> 00:31:36,588 - Well, I'll have the last word 646 00:31:36,671 --> 00:31:37,881 Listen to me. 647 00:31:37,964 --> 00:31:40,425 They could still bring charges, 648 00:31:40,508 --> 00:31:42,719 if you say something to incriminate yourself. 649 00:31:42,802 --> 00:31:44,929 Give me some credit, will you, Paul? 650 00:31:45,013 --> 00:31:46,014 Credit? 651 00:31:46,097 --> 00:31:48,683 You shot out your client's kneecaps! 652 00:31:48,767 --> 00:31:51,686 The public needs to hear from Denny Crane! 653 00:31:51,770 --> 00:31:53,938 TiVo me, will you? 654 00:31:58,943 --> 00:32:01,571 Please, god, have mercy. 655 00:32:02,614 --> 00:32:04,032 How could you not stop him? 656 00:32:04,067 --> 00:32:05,450 We tried to stop him. We 657 00:32:05,533 --> 00:32:06,826 tried to get you to stop him. 658 00:32:06,861 --> 00:32:08,251 Larry King. 659 00:32:08,286 --> 00:32:12,749 Alan, judge is back with a ruling. Let's go. 660 00:32:13,333 --> 00:32:15,335 - Tonight? - Come on. 661 00:32:15,370 --> 00:32:17,302 Can't you go by yourself? 662 00:32:17,337 --> 00:32:20,632 - It's just a ruling. - You're doing this. 663 00:32:27,930 --> 00:32:29,647 Disgusting. 664 00:32:29,682 --> 00:32:32,477 Regrettably, this fetish with animals 665 00:32:32,512 --> 00:32:33,895 may indeed be more 666 00:32:33,978 --> 00:32:35,354 prevalent than we'd like to think. 667 00:32:35,438 --> 00:32:37,732 And it's a slippery slope. 668 00:32:37,815 --> 00:32:40,359 Many women derive sexual 669 00:32:40,443 --> 00:32:42,904 pleasure from riding on a horse. Sick. 670 00:32:42,987 --> 00:32:45,281 But we can't just go around annulling marriages 671 00:32:45,364 --> 00:32:50,786 every time Debbie goes for a canter. Gross. 672 00:32:50,870 --> 00:32:54,582 I'm afraid your only legal recourse, Mrs. Biddle, 673 00:32:54,665 --> 00:32:57,918 is divorce. 674 00:32:58,919 --> 00:33:01,547 Sick! 675 00:33:03,841 --> 00:33:06,302 We're adjourned. 676 00:33:09,513 --> 00:33:11,932 - Congratulations. - Thank you. 677 00:33:21,192 --> 00:33:23,194 I may have manifested my love for 678 00:33:23,277 --> 00:33:25,196 you in ways that brought you shame, 679 00:33:25,231 --> 00:33:26,923 perhaps revulsion, 680 00:33:26,958 --> 00:33:28,616 but I do love you. 681 00:33:28,657 --> 00:33:31,994 And love is hard enough to find, Jeanie, 682 00:33:32,077 --> 00:33:35,414 without attaching a lot of restrictions. 683 00:33:35,449 --> 00:33:38,007 "A lot of restrictions"? 684 00:33:38,042 --> 00:33:41,378 It's not like I set a lot of ground rules. 685 00:33:41,420 --> 00:33:43,881 But limiting yourself to a 686 00:33:43,964 --> 00:33:46,341 single species is one of them, 687 00:33:46,383 --> 00:33:48,552 our species, Dwight. 688 00:33:48,587 --> 00:33:50,018 I broke it off. 689 00:33:50,053 --> 00:33:51,520 I'm gonna get rid of her. 690 00:33:51,555 --> 00:33:54,558 I think I'd like to sell the whole farm, 691 00:33:54,641 --> 00:33:57,561 move to the city, outside of all temptation. 692 00:33:57,596 --> 00:33:59,396 You broke it off? 693 00:33:59,431 --> 00:34:01,231 Yes. 694 00:34:01,732 --> 00:34:04,610 You're never going to see her again? 695 00:34:04,645 --> 00:34:06,612 I promise. 696 00:34:28,759 --> 00:34:30,927 Welcome back to "Larry King live." 697 00:34:30,962 --> 00:34:33,096 And with me now is Denny Crane, the 698 00:34:33,180 --> 00:34:35,891 legendary Boston attorney who just yesterday... 699 00:34:35,926 --> 00:34:38,598 apparently opened fire on his own client. 700 00:34:38,633 --> 00:34:41,271 - It was self-defense. - You're kidding. 701 00:34:41,306 --> 00:34:42,647 Self-defense? You're not really 702 00:34:42,731 --> 00:34:43,940 asking people to believe that? 703 00:34:43,982 --> 00:34:45,859 Larry, it's a crime to shoot people, 704 00:34:45,894 --> 00:34:48,320 even child-raping, murdering 705 00:34:48,403 --> 00:34:50,780 schmucks like my client was and still is. 706 00:34:50,864 --> 00:34:52,657 Okay. But clearly you're not saying 707 00:34:52,741 --> 00:34:55,702 if the defendant is repugnant enough, fair game, 708 00:34:55,785 --> 00:34:57,787 you're entitled as a criminal 709 00:34:57,871 --> 00:34:59,831 defense attorney to shoot someone? 710 00:34:59,914 --> 00:35:01,124 No, no, no. Come on. 711 00:35:01,207 --> 00:35:02,417 It's self, it's self-defense. 712 00:35:02,500 --> 00:35:04,294 But even if I did 713 00:35:04,377 --> 00:35:06,880 simply choose to shoot him, which I 714 00:35:06,963 --> 00:35:09,340 didn't, because it's against the law, 715 00:35:09,424 --> 00:35:10,800 so what? 716 00:35:10,884 --> 00:35:12,886 "So what"? Larry, you 717 00:35:12,969 --> 00:35:14,846 know what the real problem is? 718 00:35:14,929 --> 00:35:17,390 Too many criminals get away with it. 719 00:35:17,473 --> 00:35:19,267 We got hundreds of thousands of 720 00:35:19,350 --> 00:35:21,060 unsolved murders in this country. 721 00:35:21,144 --> 00:35:22,353 So what you're saying is 722 00:35:22,437 --> 00:35:23,605 it's okay for defense lawyers 723 00:35:23,688 --> 00:35:26,482 To take the law into their own hands. 724 00:35:26,566 --> 00:35:27,567 No! Come on. 725 00:35:27,650 --> 00:35:30,320 You know what's gonna happen with 726 00:35:30,403 --> 00:35:33,031 this child rapist murdering scum? 727 00:35:33,114 --> 00:35:34,115 Ashcroft. 728 00:35:34,198 --> 00:35:36,159 God bless him, he's gonna swoop in, 729 00:35:36,242 --> 00:35:37,368 and he's gonna transfer 730 00:35:37,452 --> 00:35:38,661 this case to the federal court 731 00:35:38,745 --> 00:35:40,246 so we can impose the death penalty. 732 00:35:40,329 --> 00:35:44,083 Denny, Ashcroft is no longer the attorney general. 733 00:35:44,167 --> 00:35:47,670 Well, whatever. The Spanish guy. 734 00:35:47,753 --> 00:35:49,547 Even better. 735 00:35:49,630 --> 00:35:51,924 My client's gonna get the death penalty, 736 00:35:52,008 --> 00:35:53,885 bad knees and all, because he deserves it. 737 00:35:53,968 --> 00:35:56,804 And all the bleeding liberals and all of Hollywood 738 00:35:56,888 --> 00:35:59,181 will come running to defend 739 00:35:59,265 --> 00:36:01,475 him, make him a cause celebre. 740 00:36:01,559 --> 00:36:05,896 But who's crying for the 13-year-old girl? 741 00:36:05,980 --> 00:36:08,941 The problem with the criminal justice system, 742 00:36:09,025 --> 00:36:10,735 the criminals have more 743 00:36:10,818 --> 00:36:12,445 rights, they have more attention, 744 00:36:12,528 --> 00:36:15,489 they get more sympathy than the victims. 745 00:36:15,573 --> 00:36:17,783 It's disgusting, Larry. 746 00:36:17,867 --> 00:36:21,495 It's, it's... 747 00:36:21,579 --> 00:36:24,457 It's disgusting. Let's go to the listeners. 748 00:36:24,540 --> 00:36:27,751 Hey! Donna in Cincinnati, what do you got? 749 00:36:28,794 --> 00:36:31,130 And while I find that the petitioner may 750 00:36:31,213 --> 00:36:33,424 very well have a legitimate cause of action, 751 00:36:33,459 --> 00:36:35,301 I don't find such a 752 00:36:35,342 --> 00:36:37,406 substantial likelihood of victory 753 00:36:37,441 --> 00:36:39,665 that would allow me to issue a TRO. 754 00:36:39,700 --> 00:36:41,890 Accordingly, I find for the defendant. 755 00:36:41,925 --> 00:36:43,976 I wish you all good luck 756 00:36:44,059 --> 00:36:46,020 and a satisfactory resolution. 757 00:36:46,055 --> 00:36:47,896 Adjourned. 758 00:36:48,522 --> 00:36:50,524 Oh, thank you both. That's a relief. 759 00:36:50,559 --> 00:36:52,526 We're going to have to settle this. 760 00:36:52,609 --> 00:36:54,236 We will. 761 00:36:54,319 --> 00:36:55,946 Okay then. Let's go home. 762 00:36:55,981 --> 00:36:57,823 Alan. 763 00:37:02,452 --> 00:37:04,600 You have to do this. 764 00:37:04,635 --> 00:37:06,748 You're 44 years old. 765 00:37:11,295 --> 00:37:15,007 Tell him you're a fan. Shake his hand. 766 00:37:15,042 --> 00:37:16,817 Will you go with me? 767 00:37:16,852 --> 00:37:18,593 Right by your side. 768 00:37:35,735 --> 00:37:39,913 Mr. Zozo, I, uh... 769 00:37:39,948 --> 00:37:44,125 I just wanted to say... 770 00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:47,622 how much I've always enjoyed your work. 771 00:37:47,657 --> 00:37:49,624 Thank you. 772 00:37:50,750 --> 00:37:52,168 Would you like to squeeze my nose? 773 00:37:52,252 --> 00:37:53,253 No, no, no. 774 00:37:53,336 --> 00:37:56,715 You've been more than kind. 775 00:37:56,798 --> 00:37:58,508 Alan. 776 00:38:03,346 --> 00:38:06,141 Well, perhaps one little squeeze. 777 00:38:43,219 --> 00:38:45,367 You waited up for me. 778 00:38:45,402 --> 00:38:47,515 And I've been frantic. 779 00:38:47,765 --> 00:38:50,643 You, out at all hours. 780 00:38:51,561 --> 00:38:53,396 Did you see the show? 781 00:38:53,431 --> 00:38:54,737 I did. 782 00:38:54,772 --> 00:38:57,316 You were inimitable. 783 00:39:00,111 --> 00:39:02,822 Denny, what possessed you? 784 00:39:04,532 --> 00:39:07,389 Everybody's so convinced I lost it, 785 00:39:07,424 --> 00:39:10,002 I was becoming convinced myself. 786 00:39:10,037 --> 00:39:12,581 So I decided to sail right into it. 787 00:39:12,616 --> 00:39:15,501 And I was Denny Crane. 788 00:39:15,536 --> 00:39:17,586 Yes, you were. 789 00:39:18,587 --> 00:39:21,257 I squeezed a clown's nose tonight. 790 00:39:21,340 --> 00:39:22,306 Good for you. 791 00:39:22,341 --> 00:39:25,636 Guess we're never too old to conquer our fears. 792 00:39:25,671 --> 00:39:27,138 I got a call from the 793 00:39:27,179 --> 00:39:28,562 Republican national party tonight. 794 00:39:28,597 --> 00:39:30,891 They think I might have a future in politics. 795 00:39:30,926 --> 00:39:33,561 They want to put some feelers out. 796 00:39:33,596 --> 00:39:37,815 Maybe me running for mayor. 797 00:39:37,940 --> 00:39:40,109 Of Boston? 798 00:39:42,444 --> 00:39:44,780 We wouldn't get to be flamingos again. 799 00:39:44,815 --> 00:39:46,247 Of course we would. 800 00:39:46,282 --> 00:39:49,743 What would you do as mayor, Denny, really? 801 00:39:50,285 --> 00:39:52,997 Oh, I don't know. I'd, uh... 802 00:39:53,205 --> 00:39:56,041 attack Rhode island. 803 00:39:56,375 --> 00:39:58,877 It's small. 804 00:39:58,961 --> 00:40:01,088 What was the word you used to 805 00:40:01,171 --> 00:40:03,173 describe me on the show tonight? 806 00:40:03,257 --> 00:40:04,842 - Inimitable. - That's it. 807 00:40:04,925 --> 00:40:08,095 That's the kind of mayor I would be. 808 00:40:08,178 --> 00:40:10,556 Inimitable. 809 00:40:13,183 --> 00:40:15,811 It's fun being me. 810 00:40:17,980 --> 00:40:20,572 Is it fun being you? 811 00:40:20,607 --> 00:40:23,694 Most of the time, yes, actually. 812 00:40:23,729 --> 00:40:26,571 Well, what else is there? 813 00:40:26,606 --> 00:40:28,824 Indeed. 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net 10000 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Downloaded From www.AllSubs.org