1 00:00:02,969 --> 00:00:04,493 Previously on Boston Legal. 2 00:00:04,604 --> 00:00:06,333 Robbery isn't as bad as killing a man. 3 00:00:06,439 --> 00:00:08,100 And you got me off on that. 4 00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:11,268 There are two ''get out of jail free'' cards in the game, and you've used them both. 5 00:00:11,378 --> 00:00:13,243 Say hello to Grandpa. 6 00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:16,076 - Hi, Paw-Paw. - [ Laughing ] Hi! Hello, sweetheart. 7 00:00:16,182 --> 00:00:18,912 Rachel is using again. I've decided to do an intervention. 8 00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:22,011 - And Fiona? - I'll assume custody until Rachel is well. 9 00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:24,955 We always said what a mistake it was for us to get married. 10 00:00:25,058 --> 00:00:27,117 Maybe the blunder was splitting up. 11 00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:30,128 You are getting married and you're kissing another woman. 12 00:00:30,230 --> 00:00:31,925 Not just any woman. I promise. 13 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:44,139 As a concession for keeping the cottage in Cape May... 14 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:47,236 you're willing to give up the house in Great Barrington. 15 00:00:47,347 --> 00:00:50,248 And the antique pewter valued at over $70,000. 16 00:00:50,350 --> 00:00:52,614 Considerable gesture of goodwill on your part. 17 00:00:52,719 --> 00:00:55,620 However, there's something that Natalie's determined to get her hands on... 18 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,622 and I simply can't permit it-- 19 00:00:57,724 --> 00:00:59,783 my Victorian erotica collection. 20 00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,952 Vict--What? 21 00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:03,893 Victorian erotica. 22 00:01:03,997 --> 00:01:07,626 Much like today, the late 1800s were a socially conservative time. 23 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:10,225 - During repressive eras-- - Pornography thrives. 24 00:01:10,336 --> 00:01:12,099 We prefer ''erotica.'' 25 00:01:12,205 --> 00:01:14,673 She's in possession of my premier collection... 26 00:01:14,774 --> 00:01:16,833 of Victorian erotica in the Western Hemisphere. 27 00:01:16,943 --> 00:01:20,242 I intend for it to be my legacy to the world. 28 00:01:20,346 --> 00:01:26,080 Um,just so I'm clear here, we're talking about literature, photos-- 29 00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:28,086 - And machinery. - Machinery? 30 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:30,986 The Victorian era was the height of the industrial age. 31 00:01:31,091 --> 00:01:34,026 Whenever new technology arrives, its first use is erotica. 32 00:01:34,127 --> 00:01:35,958 Much like the Internet-- 33 00:01:36,062 --> 00:01:37,654 - And Internet porn. - Erotica. 34 00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:40,096 No, that stuff's just porn. 35 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:44,762 Um, Clifford, was any of this erotica acquired during your marriage? 36 00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:48,363 Mmm. All of it, actually. 37 00:01:48,475 --> 00:01:53,503 Well, then legally, Natalie is entitled to a significant portion of the collection. 38 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:56,946 Shirley, my family's money and affairs... 39 00:01:57,050 --> 00:02:00,451 has been connected to this firm since you opened your doors. 40 00:02:00,553 --> 00:02:02,453 I want my collection. 41 00:02:02,555 --> 00:02:05,319 - You'll never get it, Clifford. - And you must be Natalie. 42 00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:11,558 - Shirl. - Ivan? 43 00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:17,535 - [ Funk ] - [ Man Vocalizing ] 44 00:02:25,178 --> 00:02:27,169 [ Continues ] 45 00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:33,513 [ Continues ] 46 00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:43,261 [ Ends ] 47 00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:46,764 You don't normally practice family law. What are you doing on a divorce case? 48 00:02:46,866 --> 00:02:51,496 Professor Cabot's estate has strong ties to the firm. He wanted me. 49 00:02:51,604 --> 00:02:53,868 - And you? - I wanted you. 50 00:02:56,142 --> 00:03:01,546 As a matter of full disclosure, Mr. Tiggs and I were once married many years ago... 51 00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,707 and could conceivably present a conflict of interest. 52 00:03:03,816 --> 00:03:07,752 Either one or both of you would be advised to request change of counsel. 53 00:03:07,854 --> 00:03:09,685 I'm not giving up my attorney. 54 00:03:11,291 --> 00:03:13,452 Mm-mmm. 55 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:15,755 No takers? Great. 56 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,830 Shall we? 57 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:30,934 You don't want to tear apart a collection. 58 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:32,944 That's why it's called a collection. 59 00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:36,538 If you spent a little less time with the collection, we might not be here dividing it up now. 60 00:03:36,649 --> 00:03:39,117 Before you met me, you'd never even heard of the Lusty Turk. 61 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:43,713 If not for me, Two Circus Virgins would be hanging over someone else's fireplace! 62 00:03:43,823 --> 00:03:46,724 Natalie, Clifford, if neither of you can budge on this... 63 00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:50,227 then we will end up in court and a judge will decide your collection's future. 64 00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:51,922 Fine. 65 00:03:52,031 --> 00:03:55,762 Why don't we take a break and come up with a better resolution tomorrow. 66 00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:58,894 - That's fine. - I'll be right down. 67 00:03:59,005 --> 00:04:00,802 - Call you. - Okay. 68 00:04:05,845 --> 00:04:07,745 [ Chuckles ] 69 00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:10,213 I thought they'd never leave. 70 00:04:10,316 --> 00:04:12,807 So how is the missus, Missy? 71 00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:16,184 - [ Laughs ] - The honeymoon was exceptional. 72 00:04:16,289 --> 00:04:17,813 Guadalupe? 73 00:04:17,924 --> 00:04:20,984 An atrociously dull island. Nothing to do but have sex all day and night. 74 00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:24,586 - By the way, Shirley, I'm having an affair. - [ Chuckles ] 75 00:04:24,697 --> 00:04:26,324 Ivan, you do not disappoint. 76 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:29,094 - You've been married four weeks. - Seemed like five. 77 00:04:29,202 --> 00:04:32,103 - And who are you having the affair with? - You. 78 00:04:32,205 --> 00:04:35,038 Well, so far it hasn't been very good for me. 79 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:39,134 I'm not sure if you follow the morning network news shows... 80 00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:42,476 but I caught a couple on the island and, according to the experts... 81 00:04:42,582 --> 00:04:46,518 one doesn't have to actually have a physical relationship to be considered a cheater. 82 00:04:46,619 --> 00:04:48,553 - No kidding? - No kidding. 83 00:04:48,655 --> 00:04:50,555 If our friendship-- 84 00:04:50,657 --> 00:04:52,625 Let's just call it that-- 85 00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:55,990 is deeper than my primary relationship... 86 00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:59,064 then, technically, I'm emotionally cheating on my wife. 87 00:04:59,165 --> 00:05:02,862 That's what Katie and Matt say, and they both have such trusting faces. 88 00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:05,062 Besides humor you, what can I do? 89 00:05:06,839 --> 00:05:09,740 Admit you're having an emotional affair with me... 90 00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:15,007 consider making it physical since, after all, we're already halfway there... 91 00:05:16,282 --> 00:05:18,842 and let's call it a day. 92 00:05:18,951 --> 00:05:20,851 I have a better idea. 93 00:05:20,953 --> 00:05:24,889 And I'm sure it's something Katie and Matt came up with as well. 94 00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:26,891 Go home to your wife, Ivan. 95 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,086 Are you breaking up with me? 96 00:05:30,396 --> 00:05:32,364 Go home to your wife. 97 00:05:40,707 --> 00:05:43,608 Shirley, you know I don't play fair. 98 00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:46,679 That's one of the many reasons you love me. 99 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,768 Did you pack myJean Naté? 100 00:06:10,870 --> 00:06:12,770 Yes, I packed yourJean Naté. 101 00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:14,635 What about my nighttime eye patches? 102 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:17,767 I can't sleep without my nighttime eye patches. 103 00:06:24,350 --> 00:06:26,944 - Evening, Adele. - Step on it! 104 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:30,880 No, no. 105 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:34,418 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. - Wait. 106 00:06:34,527 --> 00:06:38,725 Mrs. Piper, I have warned you before about this. 107 00:06:38,831 --> 00:06:40,560 You leave me no other choice. 108 00:06:40,666 --> 00:06:43,567 Call Boston P.D. I want her arrested for kidnapping. 109 00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:45,603 Oh, before you do that, dear... 110 00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:47,605 could you do one thing? 111 00:06:47,707 --> 00:06:49,607 What? 112 00:06:49,709 --> 00:06:53,509 Call Alan Shore. He's in the book. 113 00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:57,105 - Why did you try to kidnap this woman? - She wasn't kidnapping me. 114 00:06:57,216 --> 00:06:59,116 She was helping me escape. 115 00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:00,913 [ Scoffs ] Oh, come on. 116 00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:04,683 Alan, a crime is being committed here. Adele is being held prisoner. 117 00:07:05,792 --> 00:07:07,589 Go on. 118 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:09,786 Adele's been in the hospital suffering from depression. 119 00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:13,263 Her son died recently and it really devastated her. 120 00:07:13,366 --> 00:07:16,665 Last week they took her out of the hospital... 121 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:20,034 and they brought her here to this so-called assisted-living center. 122 00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:22,869 They put her on antidepressants. 123 00:07:22,975 --> 00:07:26,172 She started feeling better, and she asked when she could go home. 124 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:30,682 That's when she found out the court had assigned a conservator to be in charge of her estate. 125 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:34,685 Donald Wharton, a man she'd never even heard of. 126 00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:37,255 He has my power of attorney... 127 00:07:37,356 --> 00:07:41,816 he has control of my bank accounts, of my property... 128 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,293 he's selling off my assets... 129 00:07:43,396 --> 00:07:46,832 and he is spending all my money without my permission. 130 00:07:48,167 --> 00:07:52,126 Adele, do you have any family? 131 00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:55,530 Not since my son passed away. 132 00:07:55,641 --> 00:07:59,737 Catherine, if you knew this injustice was being done to Adele... 133 00:07:59,846 --> 00:08:03,145 why didn't you simply call me before you attempted to kidnap her? 134 00:08:03,249 --> 00:08:07,811 Well, dear, you'd helped me out on those two convenience store robberies... 135 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,047 not to mention the murder. 136 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:12,716 I didn't want to think I was becoming a bother. 137 00:08:18,865 --> 00:08:23,768 So, one has only to fill out a few forms and is then fully licensed by the state? 138 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:25,770 It's that easy. 139 00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:27,772 Now, many conservators are perfectly qualified. 140 00:08:27,874 --> 00:08:30,672 - But the lesser ones are akin to the jackal. - [ Oven Beeps ] 141 00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:32,676 They sniff around hospital corridors... 142 00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:36,737 hunting for senior citizens with no family ties. 143 00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:39,841 When they corner one, the conservator goes before a judge with an emergency motion. 144 00:08:39,952 --> 00:08:41,886 Thejudge, overburdened with caseloads... 145 00:08:41,988 --> 00:08:44,388 quickly grants them a power of attorney... 146 00:08:44,490 --> 00:08:47,118 and suddenly they sink their teeth into that senior's life. 147 00:08:47,226 --> 00:08:50,457 They seize their assets, strip away all their decision-making powers... 148 00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:53,464 then run up charges, feeding off the estates... 149 00:08:53,566 --> 00:08:55,932 until the bones have been picked clean. 150 00:08:56,035 --> 00:08:58,469 Wow. Aren't people grand? 151 00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,471 Alan, what are you eating? 152 00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:04,509 Jamaican ackee. Tastes like scrambled eggs if you cook it. 153 00:09:04,610 --> 00:09:07,078 No, thanks. 154 00:09:07,179 --> 00:09:09,943 How do you want to proceed with Adele's conservator? 155 00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,641 Mr. Wharton? 156 00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:14,652 A visit to his den would be a good start. 157 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:17,086 Oh, why not? 158 00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:21,558 Avoid the pink parts. They've been known to cause vomiting or death. 159 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:33,903 [ Shirley ] The first thing we should talk about is Paul Lewiston. 160 00:09:34,006 --> 00:09:37,407 - Let's wait until he gets here. - Well, that's the point. He's not getting here. 161 00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:40,479 His schedule's been a bit shaky since he's taken custody of his granddaughter. 162 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:43,276 - Granddaughter? - Fiona. His daughter Rachel's-- 163 00:09:43,382 --> 00:09:45,782 - Oh, right, right, right. The druggie. - She's not a druggie. 164 00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:48,479 She has an addiction for which she's receiving treatment. 165 00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:51,989 We don't need Paul. I'll take care of this. What's on his plate? 166 00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:56,926 Uh, to start with, Paul has final interviews for summer associate candidates. 167 00:09:57,029 --> 00:09:58,997 Boring. Next. 168 00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,998 It's almost the first of the month. 169 00:10:01,100 --> 00:10:05,036 - Someone needs to meet with the building manager. - I'll take that. 170 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:08,595 - And Sam Wolfson wanted some time this week. - Oh! Sam and I go way back. 171 00:10:08,708 --> 00:10:12,701 I'll cover Sam. Well, folks, there you are. You see? Problem solved. 172 00:10:12,812 --> 00:10:15,372 Denny Crane. Hands-on management. 173 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:22,721 - Where's Paul? - Oh, dear God. 174 00:10:24,924 --> 00:10:28,155 My absence at this morning's partnership meeting was unavoidable. 175 00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:31,991 - I had to take Fiona to the pediatrician. - Perfectly understandable. 176 00:10:32,098 --> 00:10:35,158 We're just curious when you'll be returning to work full-time. 177 00:10:36,836 --> 00:10:40,738 Shirley, I have recently become the single parent... 178 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:44,207 to a three-year-old child who has no one but me to depend on. 179 00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:47,177 - Paul, I know it's hard. - No, it's not about being hard. 180 00:10:47,279 --> 00:10:50,180 It's that my priorities are different now. 181 00:10:50,282 --> 00:10:55,083 And suddenly, this firm doesn't seem so important. 182 00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:58,247 Denny Crane, master of the house. 183 00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:00,416 - Hello, Denny. How are things? - Couldn't be better. 184 00:11:00,526 --> 00:11:02,926 Paul, I heard about your druggie daughter. 185 00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:06,726 I've got things under control. Why don't you take the time you need. 186 00:11:06,832 --> 00:11:09,494 Thank you. I intend to. 187 00:11:09,602 --> 00:11:12,127 Shirley. 188 00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:17,067 - ''Druggie daughter''? - What? 189 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:20,077 We covered the increased security at the front desk... 190 00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:23,012 and you're going to repair the water damage on the 14th floor. 191 00:11:23,115 --> 00:11:25,549 Da. I take care of Friday, if good. 192 00:11:25,651 --> 00:11:27,346 Very good. 193 00:11:27,453 --> 00:11:29,182 That went smoothly. 194 00:11:29,288 --> 00:11:31,688 So I guess I'll see you next month? 195 00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:33,691 So? 196 00:11:41,567 --> 00:11:43,467 - I'm forgetting something. - Yeah. 197 00:11:43,569 --> 00:11:47,471 Right. Here's the thing. I don't know what it is I'm forgetting. 198 00:11:47,573 --> 00:11:50,167 Envelope. 199 00:11:55,514 --> 00:11:58,642 - Are you asking me for a bribe? - No! No, no, no, no. 200 00:12:23,008 --> 00:12:24,976 Cretins. 201 00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:38,350 So, are you gonna tell me? 202 00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:41,959 Yes. You're zipped. 203 00:12:42,061 --> 00:12:44,029 That's not what I meant. 204 00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:46,496 - Denny, do you mind? - Shirley, you're my girl. 205 00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:50,000 I rarely look at people's faces other than my own. 206 00:12:50,102 --> 00:12:52,297 But your pallor is telling me something. 207 00:12:52,404 --> 00:12:54,964 Man trouble? 208 00:12:57,443 --> 00:12:59,206 It's Ivan. 209 00:12:59,311 --> 00:13:02,439 He won't stop until he gets what he wants. 210 00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:07,281 Right now what he wants is me, and for once I don't trust myself with him. 211 00:13:07,386 --> 00:13:11,482 So, why not have an affair with him and get it over with? 212 00:13:11,590 --> 00:13:14,491 And what about his sweet young wife? 213 00:13:14,593 --> 00:13:17,153 - Not to mention my own morals. - [ Chuckles ] Morals. 214 00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:21,893 Invented by the power elite to keep the hoi polloi from enjoying themselves. 215 00:13:22,001 --> 00:13:25,027 As for the wife, either she won't find out and you'll be fine... 216 00:13:25,137 --> 00:13:27,037 or she will and she'll learn. 217 00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:31,508 If he's gonna have an affair with someone, why not be part of the fun? 218 00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:34,836 Maybe you should write fortune cookies. 219 00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:38,178 And maybe you... 220 00:13:38,284 --> 00:13:40,752 should fantasize about him with someone else. 221 00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:43,344 Good-bye, Denny. 222 00:13:43,455 --> 00:13:45,650 Was that too subtle? I meant me. 223 00:13:59,271 --> 00:14:01,171 [ Crash ] 224 00:14:01,273 --> 00:14:04,071 Wait out here, Adele. I'll just be a minute. 225 00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:07,668 Catherine! To what do I owe this pleasant surprise? 226 00:14:07,780 --> 00:14:10,681 - I heard you were going to see Wharton today. - I'm on my way. 227 00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:16,016 I just want to warn you, don't be fooled by his silly, cherubic face. 228 00:14:16,121 --> 00:14:19,284 He fools judges, hospital administrators, anyone he needs to... 229 00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:22,554 so he can get his hands on folk like Adele and her pocketbook. 230 00:14:22,661 --> 00:14:26,188 - He's a bad man, Alan. - I'm hardly ever fooled. 231 00:14:26,298 --> 00:14:28,266 Oh, come on.! 232 00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,267 The first time you met me... 233 00:14:30,369 --> 00:14:33,770 I'm sure you had no idea I'd be capable of killing a man with a frying pan. 234 00:14:33,873 --> 00:14:37,866 Catherine, when I met you, I was sure you could accomplish anything you set your mind to... 235 00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:39,877 and you've yet to disappoint. 236 00:14:39,979 --> 00:14:42,880 Just so you know, I've asked Jesus not to forgive him. 237 00:14:42,982 --> 00:14:45,883 I think Adele has a very good friend. 238 00:14:45,985 --> 00:14:49,284 Adele and I are old. If we don't stick up for each other, who will? 239 00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:51,288 Hello, Adele. 240 00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:54,257 Clifford, regarding the collection... 241 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:57,056 when one is faced with a daunting loss... 242 00:14:57,162 --> 00:15:00,256 one tries to hold tightly to something tangible. 243 00:15:01,767 --> 00:15:03,928 As your attorney and as someone who's been there... 244 00:15:04,036 --> 00:15:06,937 divorce can play some very nasty tricks on your psyche. 245 00:15:07,039 --> 00:15:09,564 So you're asking, is it conceivable I can't let Natalie go? 246 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:12,405 I'm putting it out there as a possibility. 247 00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:16,880 Given the fact she'd rather spend more time... 248 00:15:16,982 --> 00:15:19,450 chairing the women's studies department than be with me... 249 00:15:19,551 --> 00:15:21,451 and that she's the one that asked for the divorce? 250 00:15:21,553 --> 00:15:23,521 Something like that. 251 00:15:23,622 --> 00:15:25,783 The answer is still no. 252 00:15:25,891 --> 00:15:29,418 Shirley, this is my vision. It's not just some collection of smut. 253 00:15:29,528 --> 00:15:31,928 It's an actual window into our history... 254 00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,591 a look at how we perceive ourselves and our society... 255 00:15:34,700 --> 00:15:38,329 through a lens of our most primary urges. 256 00:15:38,437 --> 00:15:41,838 I even had this artist's rendering done for a museum I'd like to start. 257 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:48,309 ''Professor Clifford Cabot's Cabinet of Sexual Curiosities.'' 258 00:15:48,414 --> 00:15:50,382 That's just to get them in the door. 259 00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:55,314 I'm beginning to get the idea, and I think a judge might as well. 260 00:15:55,421 --> 00:15:59,949 However, I still feel if you don't give a little... 261 00:16:00,059 --> 00:16:02,653 you'll stand to lose a lot. 262 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,654 Sorry about the mess. It's been busy lately. 263 00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:08,665 - [ TV.Indistinct ] - I can imagine. 264 00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:13,466 Oh, look, Denise! When's the last time you saw a TV tray? 265 00:16:13,572 --> 00:16:16,473 Suddenly I feel like watching Bonanza. 266 00:16:16,575 --> 00:16:19,476 - So,you wanted to talk about Adele? - Yes. 267 00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:23,412 Adele tells us that you have moved her into an assisted-living facility... 268 00:16:23,515 --> 00:16:25,415 and are selling off her assets. 269 00:16:25,517 --> 00:16:28,384 Well, it's the only way to pay for the place. They're so damn expensive. 270 00:16:28,487 --> 00:16:30,387 Someone should look into that. 271 00:16:30,489 --> 00:16:33,856 An alternative would be to take her out of the facility and move her back home. 272 00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:36,359 -Just a thought. - Oh. 273 00:16:36,462 --> 00:16:39,863 I know Adele does not want to be there. She's fighting me on that one. 274 00:16:39,965 --> 00:16:42,991 Hmm. Mr. Wharton, we've met with Adele. 275 00:16:43,102 --> 00:16:46,868 And while she may have had trouble when she first arrived at the hospital... 276 00:16:46,972 --> 00:16:51,375 she's since recovered and is ready to move on with her life. 277 00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:55,675 And as her attorneys, we'd like to help you move on with certain things as well. 278 00:16:55,781 --> 00:16:57,749 We've gotten rid of the court nonsense-- 279 00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:00,182 notary publics, standing in line at the post office. 280 00:17:00,285 --> 00:17:02,276 You have only to sign this release... 281 00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:07,587 and we will relieve you of one of the burdens of your already overburdened workload. 282 00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:11,292 - She got to you, didn't she? - I beg your pardon. 283 00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:14,366 Adele-- she's very good with strangers. 284 00:17:14,466 --> 00:17:16,366 Adele has clinical depression. 285 00:17:16,468 --> 00:17:18,868 You probably saw her on a good day. 286 00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:22,873 She has bouts of forgetfulness, poor judgment, difficulty concentrating. 287 00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:26,877 If I were to let her go, as an appointee of the court... 288 00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:31,712 and more importantly, as one of the only people who cares about her... 289 00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:34,581 I would be completely remiss. 290 00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:40,825 Mr. Wharton, what color are Adele's eyes? 291 00:17:40,926 --> 00:17:43,417 Uh... blue. 292 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:46,259 They're brown. 293 00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:48,299 What was her son's name? 294 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:51,130 Jonathan. 295 00:17:51,236 --> 00:17:54,137 Mr. Wharton, as someone who cares about Adele... 296 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:56,969 and is supposed to be caring for Adele... 297 00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,840 you seem to be very forgetful yourself. 298 00:18:01,447 --> 00:18:04,507 Please don't forget your court date. 299 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:23,691 [ Sighs ] Denny? 300 00:18:25,604 --> 00:18:28,698 - [ Inhales, Exhales ] - You're panting. 301 00:18:28,807 --> 00:18:31,275 - Yes. - Because of me? 302 00:18:31,376 --> 00:18:35,142 - Because of you. - Lock the door. 303 00:18:35,247 --> 00:18:39,775 Because of you, Paul didn't keep his meeting with the building manager... 304 00:18:39,885 --> 00:18:41,785 and Brad stiffed him. 305 00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:45,220 Now we don't have elevator service before 7:00 a.m. I had to walk up 14 flights of stairs. 306 00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:47,690 - Didn't you? - I climb the stairs every morning. 307 00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,624 The elevator's for Democrats. 308 00:18:49,728 --> 00:18:51,457 Lock the door. 309 00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:53,497 My nipple's hard. 310 00:18:53,599 --> 00:18:56,500 While I appreciate the update on your vestigial teat... 311 00:18:56,602 --> 00:18:59,036 you're not horny, you're freezing. 312 00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,038 The heat doesn't go on before 7:00 a.m.... 313 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:03,973 because Paul didn't keep his special agreement with the building. 314 00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:06,010 You're not gonna lock the door, are you? 315 00:19:06,111 --> 00:19:07,976 Denny, you've gotta convince Paul to stay. 316 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:10,514 Me? Never happen. 317 00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:15,417 The reason you, me, Alan, and the rest of us get to go to court and yell ''objection''... 318 00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:18,422 and sue people and make witnesses cry is Paul! 319 00:19:18,524 --> 00:19:21,186 Paul makes the elevators run. 320 00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:24,262 He supervises the associates. He double-checks the billables. 321 00:19:24,363 --> 00:19:29,824 Well, let me tell you, Shirley, what makes this place run-- 322 00:19:29,935 --> 00:19:31,835 money. 323 00:19:31,937 --> 00:19:33,837 And I bring it in. 324 00:19:33,939 --> 00:19:37,204 You bring it in, Denny. But Paul puts it to work. 325 00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:40,745 Shirley, a supermarket doesn't close 'cause the cashier quit. 326 00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,746 Yes, it does, Denny. 327 00:19:42,848 --> 00:19:46,113 Otherwise people would just walk out with the food. 328 00:19:52,357 --> 00:19:54,257 Good news. 329 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,759 My client, in the spirit of cooperation... 330 00:19:56,862 --> 00:20:01,128 has made what I consider an amicable and generous offer. 331 00:20:01,233 --> 00:20:04,691 Natalie is willing to give up the entire erotica collection-- 332 00:20:04,803 --> 00:20:06,998 books, magazines, paintings, photos. 333 00:20:07,105 --> 00:20:11,974 A collection which includes five first-edition copies of The Pearl. 334 00:20:12,077 --> 00:20:15,638 - Which I'm guessing is not a biography of Earl Monroe. - Hardly. 335 00:20:15,747 --> 00:20:20,878 The full title is, The Pearl. AJournal of Facetiae, Voluptuous Reading. 336 00:20:20,986 --> 00:20:24,615 It was first published in London by the Society of Vice in 1879. 337 00:20:24,723 --> 00:20:27,920 The original unbound periodicals are exceedingly rare. 338 00:20:28,026 --> 00:20:31,792 And they alone are worth more than the entire rest of the collection put together. 339 00:20:31,897 --> 00:20:34,798 So we understand what we're talking about, perhaps I could read a passage. 340 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:39,064 - Ivan, that wouldn't-- - ''I poured into her ears a tale of burning love. 341 00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:43,164 ''Finding that she made no resistance, I pressed her to my bosom. 342 00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:46,108 ''I undressed her till she stood in perfect nudity. 343 00:20:46,211 --> 00:20:50,614 ''I led her to the bedside, she lay back... 344 00:20:50,716 --> 00:20:53,412 ''I sank to my knees... 345 00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:57,318 and then, with eagerness and tenderness, I--'' 346 00:20:59,358 --> 00:21:01,019 Well, you get the idea. 347 00:21:01,126 --> 00:21:03,594 As cheesy as that was, I do. 348 00:21:03,695 --> 00:21:08,428 Well, that being said, Natalie is willing to give up the collection... 349 00:21:08,533 --> 00:21:11,263 except for one small item that she currently has in her possession. 350 00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:14,305 - Which item? - Something called the hysteria machine. 351 00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:16,340 - The hysteria machine? - That harridan! 352 00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:18,170 What the hell is a hysteria machine? 353 00:21:18,277 --> 00:21:21,474 The premier piece of the entire collection. Why didn't I see this coming? 354 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:23,480 Forget the house. Forget the pewter. 355 00:21:23,582 --> 00:21:25,607 She wants to play dirty, so be it. 356 00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:29,551 Ivan, we're going to court. 357 00:21:30,656 --> 00:21:32,351 Sounds like a date. 358 00:21:44,469 --> 00:21:46,994 Your Honor, since he became Mrs. Freeman's conservator... 359 00:21:47,105 --> 00:21:50,905 Mr. Wharton has placed Mrs. Freeman in a convalescent home against her will... 360 00:21:51,009 --> 00:21:53,477 has taken control of all her credit cards. 361 00:21:53,578 --> 00:21:55,978 He has charged exorbitant fees to the estate. 362 00:21:56,081 --> 00:22:01,041 To pay her $90 electric bill, he charged the estate $150. 363 00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:05,749 He charged $170 to bring her less than $50 worth of groceries. 364 00:22:05,857 --> 00:22:08,382 Your Honor, these are legitimate expenses. 365 00:22:08,493 --> 00:22:11,690 The truth is, if everyone did theirjob-- 366 00:22:11,797 --> 00:22:14,265 helped out with their family, their friends, their neighbors-- 367 00:22:14,366 --> 00:22:16,527 it would render my job unnecessary. 368 00:22:16,635 --> 00:22:18,262 But we don't. 369 00:22:18,370 --> 00:22:21,498 We, as a society, don't like to take care of the old and the weak. 370 00:22:21,606 --> 00:22:24,370 It's a difficult, heart-wrenching affair. 371 00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:27,707 Well, I stood up and am doing it. 372 00:22:27,813 --> 00:22:32,113 I have an affidavit from the admitting nurse at the hospital where Adele was first taken. 373 00:22:32,217 --> 00:22:35,516 She says Adele was confused, disoriented... 374 00:22:35,620 --> 00:22:38,453 and apparently hadn't eaten in several days. 375 00:22:38,557 --> 00:22:42,926 A state any of us might be in after the death of our last surviving family member. 376 00:22:43,028 --> 00:22:46,896 I have an affidavit from the Cottonwood Assisted Living Home which states... 377 00:22:46,998 --> 00:22:50,297 ''Mrs. Freeman is lucid and rational.'' 378 00:22:50,402 --> 00:22:53,030 She's lucid because she's well taken care of. 379 00:22:53,138 --> 00:22:55,368 Mr. Wharton makes a point. 380 00:22:55,474 --> 00:22:58,409 Mrs. Freeman is 83 and has no family. 381 00:22:58,510 --> 00:23:02,446 What if she goes offher medication? Suppose she takes a fall? 382 00:23:02,547 --> 00:23:06,540 Your Honor, if that's a concern, I can arrange for her to live with a friend. 383 00:23:06,651 --> 00:23:10,143 A friend, especially a mature friend... 384 00:23:10,255 --> 00:23:12,951 is not the same as a family member or a legal conservator. 385 00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:15,583 - Your Honor, I-- - I've heard enough from both sides. 386 00:23:15,694 --> 00:23:20,097 I'm assigning a court-appointed psychiatrist to examine you, Mrs. Freeman. 387 00:23:20,198 --> 00:23:23,861 Until I have evidence that you are entirely self-sufficient... 388 00:23:23,969 --> 00:23:26,665 you will remain a ward of Mr. Wharton. 389 00:23:26,772 --> 00:23:30,333 We will reconvene in six weeks after the examination. 390 00:23:30,442 --> 00:23:34,503 Six weeks? Your Honor, for Mrs. Freeman, that is a lifetime. 391 00:23:34,613 --> 00:23:38,242 And in the court system, it's practically the speed of light. 392 00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:40,716 -[ Gavel Raps ] - We're adjourned. 393 00:23:43,054 --> 00:23:45,818 It was actually used as a medical device. 394 00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:49,416 During the Victorian era, there was an inability or an unwillingness... 395 00:23:49,528 --> 00:23:53,191 of society to comprehend female sexual desire. 396 00:23:53,298 --> 00:23:56,096 So this desire was misinterpreted as ''an illness.'' 397 00:23:56,201 --> 00:24:00,160 - It doesn't seem to be working. - It takes a minute or two to get its steam up. 398 00:24:00,272 --> 00:24:02,365 In the meantime, Professor Cabot... 399 00:24:02,474 --> 00:24:04,874 could you tell us how the hysteria machine works? 400 00:24:04,976 --> 00:24:08,309 Women frequently complained of symptoms such as nervousness... 401 00:24:08,413 --> 00:24:12,315 uh, heaviness in the abdomen, vaginal lubrication, insomnia and so on. 402 00:24:12,417 --> 00:24:14,977 Doctors referred to these symptoms as hysteria... 403 00:24:15,086 --> 00:24:18,544 but of course, they're actually signs of sexual arousal. 404 00:24:18,657 --> 00:24:22,718 Before the invention of this machine, a doctor would, uh, massage a woman... 405 00:24:22,828 --> 00:24:26,855 until she reached a climactic paroxysm, as they called it. 406 00:24:26,965 --> 00:24:29,900 I should've listened to my mother. She always wanted me to be a doctor. 407 00:24:30,001 --> 00:24:33,061 And how did this machine come into being? 408 00:24:33,171 --> 00:24:37,130 A doctor invented it because, well, his arm got tired. 409 00:24:38,810 --> 00:24:41,904 Ah, the steam is up and it's ready to go. 410 00:24:44,616 --> 00:24:46,584 - Oh, my God. -Amazing, isn't it? 411 00:24:46,685 --> 00:24:50,143 And I haven't even put the attachments on yet, which go right there. 412 00:24:52,491 --> 00:24:54,652 Oh, my God! 413 00:24:54,759 --> 00:24:56,989 It's the only working one of its kind in the world. 414 00:24:57,095 --> 00:25:00,258 It's unique, it's invaluable and irreplaceable. 415 00:25:00,365 --> 00:25:02,390 Uh, would you shut it off,please? 416 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:05,368 [ Steam Hissing ] 417 00:25:07,939 --> 00:25:10,908 Sorry, Your Honor. A steam engine doesn't just shut off right away. 418 00:25:17,516 --> 00:25:19,450 Mr. Wharton... 419 00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:22,315 unfortunately, what may seem like a small victory... 420 00:25:22,420 --> 00:25:24,684 is really just postponing the inevitable. 421 00:25:24,789 --> 00:25:26,689 We will prevail. 422 00:25:26,791 --> 00:25:30,283 And since I know you're anxious to get home and rake your shag carpet... 423 00:25:30,395 --> 00:25:32,295 why don't you just let this one go? 424 00:25:32,397 --> 00:25:34,297 Well, mostly because I'm mad. 425 00:25:34,399 --> 00:25:36,799 And for Adele's sake, I'm willing to stay in this for the long haul. 426 00:25:36,902 --> 00:25:40,360 I'll hire my own high-priced attorneys at $500 an hour. 427 00:25:40,472 --> 00:25:43,464 And you know where that money comes from, don't you? Adele's bank account. 428 00:25:43,575 --> 00:25:47,238 That's what it's there for-- to ensure the well-being of my client. 429 00:25:47,345 --> 00:25:49,711 But don't worry. 430 00:25:49,814 --> 00:25:52,715 I'll eventually stop battling you once all the money's run out. 431 00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:05,825 [ Wheezing ] 432 00:26:07,365 --> 00:26:10,459 Professor Cabot, don't you intend eventually... 433 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:15,233 to donate this collection, including the hysteria machine... 434 00:26:15,340 --> 00:26:19,436 to a museum, a place where everyone could... get some pleasure from it? 435 00:26:19,544 --> 00:26:22,104 Objection, Your Honor. Leading the witness. 436 00:26:22,213 --> 00:26:24,681 [Judge ] Sustained. The witness will not answer. 437 00:26:24,783 --> 00:26:27,479 But I got the point anyway. Please take a seat. 438 00:26:28,553 --> 00:26:30,453 It seems to me... 439 00:26:30,555 --> 00:26:33,956 that Professor Clifford Cabot's motivation for wanting the machine... 440 00:26:34,059 --> 00:26:37,688 would serve a greater good than your more... 441 00:26:37,796 --> 00:26:40,594 localized motivations. 442 00:26:40,699 --> 00:26:43,998 I'm inclined to award the machine to Professor Clifford Cabot. 443 00:26:44,102 --> 00:26:49,062 Bring it and an inventory of the rest of the collection into court this afternoon. 444 00:26:49,174 --> 00:26:51,369 And then I'll decide who gets what. 445 00:26:51,476 --> 00:26:54,104 [ Gavel Raps ] 446 00:27:04,456 --> 00:27:07,323 Alan, he's selling her house. 447 00:27:13,798 --> 00:27:17,063 That's my living room, my son Jonathan's bedroom... 448 00:27:17,168 --> 00:27:20,160 my kitchen, my bathroom. 449 00:27:20,271 --> 00:27:25,004 My house is a ''charming three-bedroom with potential.'' 450 00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:27,135 What's going on? 451 00:27:27,245 --> 00:27:29,509 Mr. Wharton is even more rancid than I had imagined. 452 00:27:29,614 --> 00:27:31,844 He's attempting to sell Adele's home. 453 00:27:31,950 --> 00:27:34,885 Apparently, this isn't the first time Mr. Wharton has done this. 454 00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:37,420 According to a title search... 455 00:27:37,522 --> 00:27:40,082 he has sold 11 houses belonging to his wards. 456 00:27:40,191 --> 00:27:42,659 And get this-- the house he's living in right now... 457 00:27:42,761 --> 00:27:47,130 belonged to another one ofhis wards who happened to pass away in her sleep. 458 00:27:47,232 --> 00:27:50,326 - [ Gasps ] - This man is pure evil. 459 00:27:50,435 --> 00:27:55,099 Alan,you've gotta get that creative brain of yours to work and stop him. 460 00:27:55,206 --> 00:27:57,106 Yes, I do. 461 00:27:59,944 --> 00:28:02,435 - Stolen? - Right out of her car. 462 00:28:02,547 --> 00:28:05,573 - Oh, no. - It's all she had. - Please. This is ludicrous. 463 00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:08,949 Obviously, Mrs. Cabot doesn't want to surrender the hysteria machine... 464 00:28:09,054 --> 00:28:12,455 and she's hiding it from her husband for her own personal reasons. 465 00:28:12,557 --> 00:28:15,958 - That's a shocking accusation. - You know, you're right. You don't play fair. 466 00:28:16,061 --> 00:28:18,188 What can I say? 467 00:28:18,296 --> 00:28:21,754 Your Honor, my client recognizes that the news is causing distress to Professor Cabot... 468 00:28:21,866 --> 00:28:25,427 and is therefore willing to pay her half of the appraised value. 469 00:28:25,537 --> 00:28:28,768 Nonsense. The item in question was in Mrs. Cabot's care and control. 470 00:28:28,873 --> 00:28:33,810 Clearly this machine is a precious item... to him. 471 00:28:33,912 --> 00:28:38,110 I am therefore ordering you pay the full cost of the machine... 472 00:28:38,216 --> 00:28:41,117 plus punitive damages I will determine at a later date. 473 00:28:41,219 --> 00:28:44,746 Your Honor, this is unacceptable. Obviously she still has the machine. 474 00:28:44,856 --> 00:28:47,416 If it turns up, we will address the matter later. 475 00:28:47,525 --> 00:28:51,291 But until such time, this ruling stands. 476 00:28:51,396 --> 00:28:53,921 - You lying bitch! - Don't threaten me! 477 00:28:54,032 --> 00:28:56,626 - You think this is over? - The judge ruled. 478 00:28:56,735 --> 00:28:59,636 - It's not over. - People! Clifford, we need to push forward with this. 479 00:28:59,738 --> 00:29:02,002 If the hysteria machine was stolen... 480 00:29:02,107 --> 00:29:04,575 you need to take the necessary and appropriate action. 481 00:29:04,676 --> 00:29:08,612 And as co-owner, you will file a police report. 482 00:29:08,713 --> 00:29:11,773 And you will file a claim with your insurance company. There'll be an investigation. 483 00:29:11,883 --> 00:29:13,783 You'll have to open up your house. 484 00:29:13,885 --> 00:29:18,652 If you give a false statement to the police or, worse these days, the insurance company... 485 00:29:18,757 --> 00:29:22,090 you will be charged with fraud and prosecuted to the full extent of the law. 486 00:29:22,193 --> 00:29:25,651 And from my experiences, the D.A.'s office takes these crimes seriously... 487 00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:29,757 and often pushes forjail time where you'll be able to do lots of women's studies. 488 00:29:29,868 --> 00:29:31,460 - Shirley. - Hmm? 489 00:29:31,569 --> 00:29:35,437 - That's not nice. - Oh. Are we being nice now? 490 00:29:44,482 --> 00:29:47,349 [ Dramatic ] 491 00:29:47,452 --> 00:29:50,148 This is for 4,000, Bob. 492 00:29:50,255 --> 00:29:55,716 Aprovost is a high-ranking officer commonly found at what type of institution? 493 00:29:55,827 --> 00:29:59,854 Museum, hospital, university, bank. 494 00:29:59,964 --> 00:30:03,263 - It's university, you idiot. - University. 495 00:30:03,368 --> 00:30:05,359 - Final answer? - Final. 496 00:30:05,470 --> 00:30:08,166 Yes, sir. You got it again, Bob. 497 00:30:08,273 --> 00:30:10,707 [ Audience Cheering ] 498 00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:13,243 Help! [ Grunts ] 499 00:30:13,344 --> 00:30:15,904 Ow.! Help.! Help.! 500 00:30:16,014 --> 00:30:19,711 Oh, God! Oh, God! 501 00:30:19,818 --> 00:30:22,582 Help! Help! Help! 502 00:30:22,687 --> 00:30:25,952 Help! Help! [ Screaming ] 503 00:30:33,598 --> 00:30:35,793 - [ Door Opens, Knocking ] - Yoo-hoo.! 504 00:30:35,900 --> 00:30:38,528 - [ Muffled ] I'm in here! I'm in here! - Anybody home? 505 00:30:38,636 --> 00:30:40,900 - Over here! - [ Door Closes ] 506 00:30:41,005 --> 00:30:42,905 Mr. Wharton. 507 00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:47,440 Oh, my goodness. 508 00:30:47,545 --> 00:30:49,945 This is dreadful. Look at you. 509 00:30:50,048 --> 00:30:53,074 You've been assaulted and robbed. 510 00:30:53,184 --> 00:30:55,618 Oh.! The world we live in. 511 00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,884 - Who on earth would do something such as this? - [ Muffled Speaking ] 512 00:31:01,226 --> 00:31:03,217 Oh, of course. You can't speak. 513 00:31:03,328 --> 00:31:05,796 I'll get you a pad and a pencil. 514 00:31:05,897 --> 00:31:08,365 That's no good. Your hands are tied. 515 00:31:08,466 --> 00:31:12,027 My God! You must've been left here for what? Over an hour? 516 00:31:12,136 --> 00:31:17,096 It must feel awful to be left alone and vulnerable. 517 00:31:19,210 --> 00:31:21,110 Well, apparently... 518 00:31:21,212 --> 00:31:24,306 they made off with nothing more than some dingy old file boxes... 519 00:31:24,415 --> 00:31:27,646 which could only contain records, I would imagine. 520 00:31:27,752 --> 00:31:31,415 How stupid are they? What could they possibly hope to get for that? 521 00:31:31,522 --> 00:31:33,615 Anyway, I'm glad it's over. 522 00:31:33,725 --> 00:31:36,592 Let's just pray it never happens again... 523 00:31:36,694 --> 00:31:39,561 and again and again. 524 00:31:39,664 --> 00:31:41,723 - [ Moans ] - Oh. 525 00:31:41,833 --> 00:31:44,825 Also, obviously you're in no shape to handle your court-appointed duties... 526 00:31:44,936 --> 00:31:46,904 particularly with regard to Adele. 527 00:31:47,005 --> 00:31:48,905 Not to worry. 528 00:31:49,007 --> 00:31:50,975 I just happen to have with me... 529 00:31:51,075 --> 00:31:55,068 that release form from the other day. 530 00:31:55,179 --> 00:31:59,309 Now, maybe there's just enough give here-- 531 00:31:59,417 --> 00:32:02,477 [ Grunts ] to let you sign it. 532 00:32:02,587 --> 00:32:05,317 Hmm. There's that. 533 00:32:05,423 --> 00:32:07,618 There you go. 534 00:32:09,761 --> 00:32:11,786 Wonderful! 535 00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:16,958 You know, now that this experience... 536 00:32:17,068 --> 00:32:19,593 has brought us closer... 537 00:32:19,704 --> 00:32:22,901 I feel I can say this. 538 00:32:23,007 --> 00:32:26,374 Sometimes these events are just what one needs... 539 00:32:26,477 --> 00:32:29,344 to shake things up a bit, make a change. 540 00:32:29,447 --> 00:32:32,848 New job, new direction, new ideas. Just a thought. 541 00:32:32,951 --> 00:32:36,318 I'm thinking now would be a perfect time to start. 542 00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:40,481 Yes. Well, this is much better already. 543 00:32:40,591 --> 00:32:44,322 I feel that foreboding sense of danger fading. 544 00:32:44,429 --> 00:32:47,523 Still, best to stay alert, on the right path... 545 00:32:47,632 --> 00:32:50,465 because you never know when this kind of thing might happen again. 546 00:32:50,568 --> 00:32:52,536 You only know that it will. 547 00:33:08,920 --> 00:33:10,820 [ Bell Dings ] 548 00:33:12,323 --> 00:33:15,781 - [ Bell Dings ] - Hey. 549 00:33:17,295 --> 00:33:19,195 Hey, hey. 550 00:33:24,535 --> 00:33:27,333 You didn't actually file a police report? 551 00:33:27,438 --> 00:33:31,169 - And an insurance claim. - [ Sighs ] 552 00:33:31,275 --> 00:33:33,470 - Shirley-- - [ Alarm Rings ] 553 00:33:33,578 --> 00:33:36,706 If, God forbid, the guy who stole this feels remorse... 554 00:33:36,814 --> 00:33:38,782 and returns it to my client... 555 00:33:38,883 --> 00:33:40,908 she could end up going to jail. 556 00:33:41,019 --> 00:33:44,978 It's a tribute to the risks one is willing to take for some momentary pleasure. 557 00:33:45,089 --> 00:33:47,284 Which proves my point, by the way. 558 00:33:47,392 --> 00:33:49,553 It's not just me. It's all of us. 559 00:33:49,660 --> 00:33:53,118 We are all merely sexual animals. 560 00:33:53,231 --> 00:33:55,358 And Shirley... 561 00:33:55,466 --> 00:33:57,866 as crude as you might think me at times... 562 00:33:57,969 --> 00:34:01,803 at least I put myself out there and act on my instincts. 563 00:34:01,906 --> 00:34:04,136 You must at least admire me for that. 564 00:34:04,242 --> 00:34:06,904 I more than admire you, Ivan, and you know it. 565 00:34:07,011 --> 00:34:09,571 You've a wife who adores you and who you love... 566 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,148 probably more than you're willing to admit. 567 00:34:12,250 --> 00:34:16,084 And for her sake, if not-- more importantly-- for your own... 568 00:34:16,187 --> 00:34:18,121 you need to grow up. 569 00:34:22,994 --> 00:34:24,894 [ Alarm Rings ] 570 00:34:26,364 --> 00:34:28,628 I love you, Shirley. 571 00:34:31,602 --> 00:34:33,502 I love you too. 572 00:34:35,006 --> 00:34:36,906 [ Bell Dings ] 573 00:34:52,623 --> 00:34:55,183 - Sam. - Denny Crane! 574 00:34:55,293 --> 00:34:58,160 - Good to see you. - How are you? Oh, look at you. 575 00:34:58,262 --> 00:35:00,787 - How's Evelyn? - She's well. She's very well. 576 00:35:00,898 --> 00:35:03,867 Thanks for asking. How is the fishing going this season? 577 00:35:03,968 --> 00:35:06,766 - In the water or in the bedroom? - Uh-oh. 578 00:35:06,871 --> 00:35:09,772 [ Laughing ] 579 00:35:09,874 --> 00:35:13,241 Well, what can we do for you? 580 00:35:13,344 --> 00:35:15,312 Shouldn't we wait for Paul Lewiston? 581 00:35:15,413 --> 00:35:19,179 Paul's dialing things back a little right now. 582 00:35:19,283 --> 00:35:21,376 Oh. Well-- 583 00:35:21,486 --> 00:35:25,047 I'm considering divesting from some of my Hong Kong subsidiaries. 584 00:35:25,156 --> 00:35:28,125 - Really? - And, uh-- I'm sorry. 585 00:35:28,226 --> 00:35:30,694 - Is Paul leaving the firm? - It's unclear. 586 00:35:30,795 --> 00:35:34,526 But the point is, I'm your point man. Always have been. 587 00:35:36,734 --> 00:35:38,998 Denny, we've known each other a long time... 588 00:35:39,103 --> 00:35:42,072 so I don't take any pleasure in being this blunt. 589 00:35:42,173 --> 00:35:46,542 - But I love having a drink with you, schmoozing-- - Right. 590 00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:49,636 Paul's the one I deal with. 591 00:35:49,747 --> 00:35:53,410 I mean, he's the expert in Asian markets, and you-- 592 00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:57,250 Well-- 593 00:36:08,966 --> 00:36:11,594 This is for you. 594 00:36:11,702 --> 00:36:13,602 - What is it? - Open it. 595 00:36:20,645 --> 00:36:22,374 Denny-- 596 00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:26,678 Just a simple, ''Thank you, O kind and benevolent leader'' will suffice. 597 00:36:28,219 --> 00:36:30,619 I can't accept this. 598 00:36:30,721 --> 00:36:32,712 I thought it was what you always wanted. 599 00:36:32,823 --> 00:36:36,691 I'm sure it's what you thought I always wanted. 600 00:36:36,794 --> 00:36:39,058 You trying to play hardball with me, Paul? 601 00:36:39,163 --> 00:36:43,099 Don't tell me this whole thing is simply a matter of respect. 602 00:36:45,169 --> 00:36:47,296 Good God. It is. 603 00:36:47,405 --> 00:36:51,865 My mind and my priorities are exactly where they should be right now. 604 00:36:51,976 --> 00:36:56,777 When Rachel gets out, I will be back here full-time, or maybe I won't. 605 00:36:56,881 --> 00:37:00,180 In the meantime, it will give you the opportunity... 606 00:37:00,284 --> 00:37:04,220 to actually think about things for a change. 607 00:37:07,625 --> 00:37:09,923 God bless us, we found it! 608 00:37:10,027 --> 00:37:12,461 The antique, steam-powered woman-pleasing machine... 609 00:37:12,563 --> 00:37:14,997 is always in the last place you look. 610 00:37:15,099 --> 00:37:18,466 You bet. Now, my client is more than thrilled to return it... 611 00:37:18,569 --> 00:37:21,436 and just ask for visitation rights. 612 00:37:21,539 --> 00:37:23,632 However, she cannot do that from jail. 613 00:37:23,741 --> 00:37:28,303 So she requests that the police and insurance claims be withdrawn. 614 00:37:28,412 --> 00:37:31,939 Done.Just want to check to make sure it's the original machine. 615 00:37:32,049 --> 00:37:34,142 You don't trust me? 616 00:37:34,252 --> 00:37:36,743 Not a bad idea. 617 00:37:58,643 --> 00:38:01,134 I left my wife, Shirley. 618 00:38:04,649 --> 00:38:08,380 - Did you? - About an hour ago. 619 00:38:16,861 --> 00:38:18,829 So what do you think? 620 00:38:21,165 --> 00:38:24,430 To be honest, I'm a little afraid to think. 621 00:38:25,703 --> 00:38:28,866 Well, no need then. 622 00:38:28,973 --> 00:38:31,407 However, you know me. I do have a question. 623 00:38:33,044 --> 00:38:35,569 And what would that be? 624 00:38:38,149 --> 00:38:40,811 Would you like to see my attachments? 625 00:38:40,918 --> 00:38:43,819 [ Steam Hissing ] 626 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,172 Denny, you're here late. 627 00:39:05,276 --> 00:39:07,836 I run the place. 628 00:39:07,945 --> 00:39:11,506 So... you and Shirley-- 629 00:39:11,615 --> 00:39:13,742 Gives us something in common. 630 00:39:13,851 --> 00:39:16,445 A hell of a woman. 631 00:39:16,554 --> 00:39:19,785 - We have something else in common. - What's that? 632 00:39:20,991 --> 00:39:24,085 We're both leading men. 633 00:39:24,195 --> 00:39:26,789 We're like stars in our own show. 634 00:39:26,897 --> 00:39:31,266 Only the star doesn't have only one leading lady. 635 00:39:31,369 --> 00:39:35,203 Oh, sure. Sometimes, at the end of an episode, looks like he's settling down with someone. 636 00:39:35,306 --> 00:39:38,139 But the next week, she's not there. It's somebody else. 637 00:39:38,242 --> 00:39:41,439 It's a way of holding up viewer interest. 638 00:39:41,545 --> 00:39:43,775 You're a strange man, Denny. 639 00:39:44,949 --> 00:39:46,917 Strange leading man. 640 00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,252 You're not gonna hurt her, Ivan. 641 00:40:14,245 --> 00:40:16,839 So whose ass did you have kicked? 642 00:40:18,949 --> 00:40:22,817 - Someone whose ass thoroughly deserved it. - Good! 643 00:40:22,920 --> 00:40:24,945 I can never understand... 644 00:40:25,055 --> 00:40:28,024 why people don't use violence more often to solve their problems. 645 00:40:28,125 --> 00:40:31,617 - Works every time. - Actually, I'm quite disturbed by it. 646 00:40:31,729 --> 00:40:36,826 I had a real appetite for Mr. Wharton's fear and suffering. 647 00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:40,370 - Is that unusual? - For me, not at all. 648 00:40:40,471 --> 00:40:44,703 What was unusual was how swiftly I acted on my cravings. 649 00:40:44,809 --> 00:40:47,209 It was an emergency. What else could you do? 650 00:40:47,311 --> 00:40:49,973 Something more clever. 651 00:40:52,716 --> 00:40:55,810 Equally disturbing was how easy it all was. 652 00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:59,515 Quick fix which required very little thought on my part.Just a phone call. 653 00:41:02,460 --> 00:41:05,327 I wonder what I'm turning into. 654 00:41:06,597 --> 00:41:09,395 - Denny Crane. - [ Chuckles ] 655 00:41:10,835 --> 00:41:13,326 I think I'm still a long ways away from that. 656 00:41:13,437 --> 00:41:15,667 Oh. 657 00:41:15,773 --> 00:41:19,004 Don't you worry. You'll get there. 658 00:42:06,423 --> 00:42:07,981 [ Woman ] You stinker.!