I'm not good with mothers.
- Bella? - Denny?
- You two know each other? - She's yours.
I'm gonna have to have a paternity test.
Daniel died during a lung transplant surgery in Brazil.
What did I say about not coming on too strongly?
I thought you meant just with you.
We're being sued for slander by one of Jeffrey's red herrings in the Scott Little trial.
This will be an opportunity for the two of you to bond.
I'm damaged.
You appear to be a seriously disturbed man.
You wrinkly old sack!
Oops! I didn't see you there, judge.
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It's a simple paternity test.
Why can't you just get the results over the phone?
I don't know. Bethany wants to know in person.
So does Bella, and they thought I should be there.
Okay, but why me? Why should I...
For support!
For god's sakes, Alan, the midget I am dating could be my daughter.
It's not an easy time.
This is Alan Shore.
Alan, it's Jerry.
I have a situation.
Again?
This one's not my doing.
It's a client, and she may be in serious trouble.
She came over to go hiking with her girlfriend.
Friend didn't feel well,
said she preferred to just hang around the house.
My client proceeded to go hiking without her, then returned.
There was her friend hanging around the house,
and when I say "hanging," Alan,
I mean like a pinata.
She's dead, Alan! You need to come.
Did you say "dead"?
Jerry, have you called the police?
She doesn't want that. There are concerns, Alan.
Aside from the fact her friend is dead,
she's worried she may have done it.
Done what?
Hung her! You need to come!
Please hurry!
Oh, my.
Alan, this is Erica Dolenz. Erica, Alan Shore.
Hello.
Thank you for coming.
Jerry said you were worried you might have done this.
It wasn't suicide.
Her hands were tied.
I untied them when I discovered her in the hopes that...
she was already dead.
Her hands were tied?
Behind her back.
Okay.
Why do you have concerns that you may have...
You can talk to him.
I experienced some kind of a blackout.
I, we argued when she didn't want to go hiking.
I remember going hiking and coming back here,
but I don't remember anything between the hours of 10 and 12.
Erica and I share the same psychiatrist. We're friends of sorts.
Don't tell Patty.
All right.
First thing we have to do here is call the police.
Why haven't you?
I thought I should consult a lawyer first, which is why I called Jerry.
I wanted backup.
This is my first hanging.
Erica, before I pick up the phone, is there anything else I need to know?
Like?
Anything that could be construed as relevant.
We were lovers.
That would be relevant.
You're not the father.
- Thank you, god. - Thank you, god.
Well, shall we pick up where we left off, my little friend?
Forget it!
Why?
Because one of the rules I try to follow in my social life
is don't date guys who have slept with my mother.
Bethany...
I never want to see you again!
She's tough.
Denny, if Bethany's out,
I am hugely available.
I don't mean to second-guess, Alan,
but if we don't let her give some statement,
doesn't that automatically make her suspicious?
Jerry, she can't remember what she was doing for two hours prior to calling you.
She cut rope off the victim's hands.
She's officially suspicious.
Where is the rope?
In the trash.
Which they'll undoubtedly find.
All in all, better she say nothing,
in which case, you can expect some sort of detainment.
Excuse me, ma'am? This is a crime scene.
This is my lover. I would like to say good-bye.
You and the deceased were involved?
Deeply. I would like to say good-bye.
Okay.
Good-bye.
Hello.
I'm told the official statement from authorities
is naming a suspect at this point would be premature.
Oh, come on. You've got to be kidding me.
The judge kicks the case
then this fruitcake Lincoln Meyer declares right in open court,
"you wrinkly old sack!"
Cut to three hours later,
the judge is found dead in the parking lot
with a dent in the back of his head.
Are the police questioning this sex-perv wackadoo?
Hello? Anybody home?
Knock, knock, it's a killer at the door, and his name is Lincoln Meyer.
I got your memo on the abstention doctrine.
It, it really stinks.
Denise, do you want to take some time?
No, I, I don't dare.
Are you okay?
It's just that ever since Daniel died, I...
- all I can think about is... - Hmm, yeah.
sex.
I walk down the street, anything I pass in pants,
I want to have sex.
I'm not kidding, Shirley.
I want to screw anybody and everybody.
Denny Crane is looking good to me right now.
I'm being arrested?
I want to surrender you myself, Erica,
so they can't parade you past the media
as they shove you into the back of a patrol car.
I'll be dragged into court?
Your arraignment's this afternoon.
This is horrible.
Erica, let's talk a little about your relationship with the victim Paula Wilkes.
Blessed are they who are merciful, for they will be shown mercy.
Blessed are they who mourn...
With all due respect to the Beatitudes,
was she your lover?
Yes.
Then she recently left you.
Yes, for that woman.
Then how is it you were still supposed to go hiking with Paula?
We were trying to be amicable.
But when I came over,
under the pretext of normalcy, to continue our hiking routine,
she suddenly didn't feel well and...
Jerry said you take some medication for...
A mild, non-bizarre delusional disorder.
Sometimes I hear voices.
Have you heard any lately?
No.
Erica, your last memory before you blacked out,
it was a fight with Paula because she didn't want to go hiking with you?
Yes.
I could never hang a person, Mr. Shore.
I could never be violent.
But the last thing you remember was being angry at her?
Very.
- He wants to see me? - Evidently.
Do I know him?
No, but you're going to love him.
Lincoln, how are you?
Truth be told, my little cup runneth over with rancor.
This judge that was killed,
that Gracie Jane woman is saying perhaps that I did it.
She's damaging my good name.
Add to that,
the police want me to come down and make some sort of statement,
and I don't like their tenor.
One week I'm their big cog.
The next they're speaking to me with a tenor.
They think you killed judge Potts?
That tub-of-guts reporter's got them all bloated with suspicion.
He's a fairy.
What do you want, Lincoln?
Why, I want Denny Crane to be my lawyer, of course.
I don't want to be implicated in the murder of that wrinkly old sack.
And I should like a name partner to do my bidding.
Seriously, he's a total fairy.
We'll all go to court together?
Yes.
And they'll lock me up?
I'm hoping that won't happen.
Erica, could you give me two minutes with Jerry,
and we'll be right out?
Oh, okay.
I'd like you to handle the arraignment.
Me?
I think you can first-chair, Jerry.
The client has a trust with you. But...
I can do it. I can do it.
Jerry, if you can't, just say so,
because this is a first degree murder case.
- I can do it. I want to. - Look at me.
We need to get bail.
This woman does not strike me as a person who will do well in custody.
Okay.
Which means you have to take charge in the courtroom.
Keep the hops and squeals to a minimum and focus.
If Erica gets locked up,
it will be very, very bad.
Okay, I can do it.
Shirley, hello.
What a smart outfit.
I always say it's a very good statement for a law firm
when the name partner's a smart dresser.
What are you doing here, Lincoln?
Why, I'm a client.
Denny Crane has decided to be my lawyer.
Denny Crane is representing you?
I'm not talking to you, Mr. Dirty mouth.
I expect to be on the client list and invited to all the office parties.
You and I can dance, Shirley, get on with our special friendship.
All set?
Denny, are you really reprenting this man?
Potential murder case, Shirley.
Denny Crane, back in the saddle.
You're repping him, too?
Why not?
I'd love for you to join, Shirley Schmidt.
Pass.
That's a mistake.
What the hell was that?
Word is you're a serial dater.
Claire's afraid her number might be up.
I realize we haven't actually met, but I don't like you.
Aren't you a little pepper pot?
Big murder case, I hear.
Yes, I'm off to the arraignment now.
Denise, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation with Shirley.
I happen to know sometimes grief can trigger the libido.
It's got something to do with death
causing a biological need to propagate the species.
Evidently, after 9/11, people were running around like rabbits.
Really? I did not know that.
If I could ever be of service,
to help you cope...
You left the courthouse and then did what?
I returned to my house, made some notes for my appeal,
had dinner and watched the ball game.
- The ball game? - Yes, the ball game,
the one where one man throws a ball,
and the other swats at it with a slab of wood.
Baseball.
Baseball, that's it.
I love baseball.
Who was playing?
I haven't the slightest. I'm not into who plays or wins.
I just enjoy the sport.
I'm a purist.
What's the infield fly rule?
I haven't the slightest.
Does it involve a zipper?
- I bet he's more familiar with a zipper than he is with baseball. - Really?
We're gonna ask you to be a part of a lineup.
Oh, how fun!
What position do I get to play?
Not a baseball lineup, a police lineup.
A police lineup?
Do I get to hold one of those little sticks the policemen have
and swing it with great force?
It's like he wants to be arrested.
You should have seen him.
I think he's one of those weird liberal Democrats
who's a closet Republican.
Denny, can we talk?
We're talking.
I must admit,
part of me is devastated you're not the father.
I always thought you were.
You never sought child support.
I didn't really want contact with you.
I mean, I did,
but once you married...
Denny, our breakup was very painful for me.
Me, too. 12 stitches.
You took six stitches when we first got together, remember?
I tackled you like a linebacker when you refused to go out with me.
You hit me from behind.
You loved it.
Denny, if Bethany is serious about having nothing further to do with you,
I'm serious.
How out having something to do with me again?
You and I were a long time ago, Bella.
I'm still the same woman you fell in love with,
the same passionate woman.
Of course, I'm not looking to steal my daughter's boyfriend,
but if you and Bethany are really over,
I want to do things to you...
again.
Case 936642, commonwealth vs. Erica Dolenz.
Charge is murder in the first degree.
You can do it.
- Jerry. - Yes?
Do it now.
Jerry Espenson appearing for the defendant Erica Dolenz.
Hello? Hello?
We will waive the remainder of the reading and promptly enter a plea of not guilty.
I would like to point out to the court at this time
that my client has no criminal record
and she has strong roots in the community and does not pose a flight risk.
Moreover, she is under a doctor's care,
for which treatment remains essential, not only for her well being,
but also to enable her to adequately contribute to her own defense.
I would therefore implore this court to release her on her own recognizance.
This is a first degree murder.
For which my client is presumed innocent.
I would remind the court of my client's record,
of which there is none,
and her roots of which there are many.
$1 million bond, $100,000 cash.
Thank you very much, your honor.
We'll arrange for bail. In the meantime, speak to no one.
Okay.
Jerry, that was fantastic.
Are you taking something?
But let's take away all the glaring evidence...
You're really gonna let him try the case?
With my supervision.
Don't forget, Denny, Jerry happens to be a genius.
And if he's gay, he's guilty of something.
Am I the only one with enough guts to say these people are sickos?
I mean, surely somebody else out there figured out that.
If he won't follow the laws of nature,
what are the chances he'll follow the laws of society?
Bottom line,
perv in the bedroom, perv in the world at large.
This is all because I didn't satisfy her in bed.
May we speak in private, please?
Anything you have to say, you can say in front of him.
We're married.
I can get by that you're old.
I can get by that you're old and gross.
But I just can't get by that you've had a history with my very own mother.
That was a different lifetime, Bethany.
Don't you see, Denny?
She cultivated my attraction for you.
She'd talk about you all the time,
leaving out the part that you and she were engaged.
It's all very unhealthy.
See, Bethany...
one thing about getting old,
a little wisdom has to sink in along the way.
There are a lot of reasons not to go out with anybody,
but there is only one reason to go out with somebody.
This baby right here.
What's this telling you?
If they're trying to provoke a confrontation, they're gonna get one.
I am this close to laying him out on his ass.
And I'll drop Claire, too, snide little bitch.
Brad, could it be that the hostility started with you?
Brad's right, Denise.
These new people haven't shown us our propers,
especially Jeffrey Coho. He's got to go.
Are you mocking me? Because I'll deck you, too.
I'm not mocking you at all.
You and I, Brad, we have to find a way to get the new guy. Are you in?
Absolutely.
We'll make a plan.
Could I have a minute in private with Denise?
Sure.
What's up, Alan?
I'd just like to apologize for my remarks earlier.
Given everything you're going through,
I feel I should have been much more explicit.
Good night, Alan.
Denise, you've always struck me as a woman
who secretly longs to be debased.
It's an awfully big job,
but I feel I'm just the man to...
do it.
Don't stop.
I'm curious to see just how low you'll go.
All the way down, again and again.
I see the filthy, naughty girl deep inside you, Denise,
longing to get out.
Now if you're so unwilling to let her out,
perhaps I should go in after her.
I brought my snorkel.
Take off your pants, Denise.
Get out.
Let me see you underwear, Denise.
Get out.
It just seems wrong, Bella.
Denny, Bethany swears to me she's not interested in you anymore.
It doesn't feel right.
It didn't feel right to you 35 years ago
until suddenly it was love at first tackle.
The answer's no.
What are you gonna do?
Go back to one of your skinny little models?
Have you forgotten the joy of a full-bodied woman?
Think back to how I'd flatten you.
Hello. Ready for my lineup?
Hello. Lincoln Meyer.
I'm a suspect in judge Potts' murder.
My, aren't you a showstopper?
She's drawn to me.
The security camera shows you going in at 10:27.
You called Jerry at 12:14.
That's almost two hours which would be unaccounted for.
That would be my blackout.
It also shows her ex-husband going into the building at 10:06,
leaving at 10:10, 4 minutes later.
He's also agreed to come in. Jerry, I want you to speak with him.
I'll talk to the new girlfriend, who's also agreed to meet me here.
I can't face that woman.
You won't have to.
Erica, we'd also like to speak with your treating psychiatrist,
learn what we can about your blackouts.
Excuse me.
I just wanted to tell you that what you said to me last night was truly...
disgusting.
And I assure you, Denise, I'm a man of my word.
Set?
All set.
Bring them in, please.
Stand facing front, please.
Turn to your left.
Stand facing forward again.
Turn to the right.
I'm sorry.
None of these are the man I saw in the parking lot.
You sure?
I'm positive.
He didn't pick me?
What do I have to do, kill somebody?
Oh, try to cope.
So what happens now?
You said I'd like him.
He's an attention-starved wacko fairy. He couldn't kill anyone.
I heard that.
I'm getting tired of you, large marge.
You remind me of Mr. Dirty mouth. That's what you do.
I went to her apartment around 10 o'clock or so.
Well, I'm not sure of the exact time.
May I ask why you went there?
Well, if you must know,
I was there to persuade her to take me back.
Anyway, she didn't come to the door, so I left.
The next thing, the police call me, and they tell me that she's...
May I ask, sir?
Though the police seem to be ruling out suicide,
there's some evidence your wife...
ex-wife was having some depression.
The breakup of our family caused her a lot of pain.
We have children. But...
Paula was not suicidal. I mean, there is no way. I, I...
I can't believe that she would do...
that.
Brad.
Jeff.
Bit of a weak stream you've got going there.
You had your prostate checked?
- What did you say to me? - Never mind.
So what, you're gonna make fun of my flow now?
Oh, I'm sorry. It just seemed a little lackluster.
I would think an ex-marine would be a little more "hup two!"
You gonna hit me, Brad?
Oh, you would just love that, wouldn't you?
For me to sink to your level.
Impressive.
- May I respond? - Please.
- Is that it? - That's it.
I take it back. Evidently, there was more.
So are we going to take this to the next level?
What's that, sex? You'll send me flowers first.
That didn't hurt.
That did.
Jeez! What the...
Come on.
No, no, stop that!
Stop that now!
Stop that! Stop it now!
You are grown men, for god's sake!
And lawyers.
Ever since I got here, he's wanted a piece of me.
And I got it, too, sport.
All right!
What is this really about?
I don't like him.
Somebody needs to beat the crap out of him and it might as well be me.
- Too bad you can't. - You don't think so?
- You want to take it outside? - Let's go.
Hey! Hey!
Sit!
Thank you so much for coming in to speak with me.
And please accept my condolences for your loss.
Thank you.
How long were you and Ms. Wilkes together?
Three weeks.
We were in love.
In love.
I will never get over her.
What did you love about her if I may ask?
She was pretty with pleasing personality.
What do you think Ms. Wilkes love most about you?
I made her laugh.
You made her laugh.
I'm funny.
Can you tell me about her mood in the days before her death?
She seemed sad.
Sad.
- How sad? - Yes.
Sorry?
You said, "how sad", I agreed how sad.
No, no. I was...
I was inquiring as to the extent of her sadness, how sad.
Did she ever...
talk of taking her life?
Once.
It was sad.
She's very odd, Jerry.
Let's do an immediate background check on her.
Okay, okay.
What about your psychiatrist?
He's coming in. I also made an appointment with her probate lawyer.
She's agreed to let us review Paula's will.
Can I play?
Denny, you have your own murder case.
He didn't do it.
He lied to me. He was cleared.
Can I play?
I'm okay.
When you came here, I made one request, Jeffrey,
one simple request, "don't step on toes."
Silly me for not adding "don't punch jaws."
You also made promises, Shirley,
one being this place would accept me.
I said "eventually,"
- as long as you didn't piss on... - What's eventually?
- Just this side of never? - Everybody's turf, which is exactly what you did.
As soon as I got here, I was thrown into a murder trial.
No, you poached that trial.
There's been a massive amount of pressure.
Which you typically feed on.
And no one to offer any support whatsoever, not even you.
Okay.
So we all have a little healing to do.
I'm not looking for your sympathy.
- So much as? - Dinner.
Last time you and I had dinner, it turned out to be a terrible idea.
Not for me.
I am a senior partner here.
You say that as if it will get you laid.
It will.
I am significantly older than you.
Fine.
Then be my significant older other.
Why do you think I came to Boston, Shirley, the Red sox?
The blackout was basically a psychological form of amnesia.
- Is this common? - Somewhat.
The sight of seeing a loved one hanging,
a blackout can almost serve as a psychological defense of sorts.
Will her memory come bald?
I meant to say "back."
It could.
But I must tell you,
her memory loss could have been triggered by something else,
something I'm afraid which is medically more common.
What?
Well, some people block out things they have done
because they cannot reconcile the act with who they are.
Which do you think this is?
Really, I can't see Erica hanging somebody.
It's a particularly cruel way to kill somebody.
It's loaded with hate,
maybe even an affinity for torture,
and that simply is not the Erica that I know.
But?
But one of the reasons I first started to treat her, when...
she got angry,
the voices she would hear would tell her to do things.
Her voices have told her to do violent things before?
Yes.
Don't tell me there's no story.
There's never a story, Walter, unless I make it one.
I'm not going down to Aruba again.
If there's no arrest with Lincoln Meyer,
I'll focus on the dead lesbian, for god's sake.
You saying I can't sell that?
Yeah, I'll do what I do.
Meantime, find me a missing baby. It's Sweeps for god's sake.
Oops.
I didn't see you there.
Next, we go see Paula's lawyer to see who inherits under her will.
It isn't you, is it?
Do I inherit under her will?
I hardly think so.
Is that why I'm a suspect?
No, but...
But what?
Uh, I don't like the sound of that.
The big problem, Erica,
assuming somebody else did this,
why would he or she leave the hands tied for you to discover the body that way?
The tied hands clearly rule out suicide.
Well...
if this was such a crime of hatred,
maybe the killer made no attempt to pull it off as a suicide.
Maybe he or she was making a point.
What?
You don't believe me?
It's not that I don't believe you so much as...
Then what?
Jerry, you told me everything was gonna be all right.
- Erica... - You said it would be okay.
What is this? What is going on?
What's going on is we may not be able to win this.
No, no.
No, no, no, no!
I, I'm not gonna go to jail, Jerry.
I won't go to jail.
- Erica... - No!
Erica, please stop screaming.
You'll take care of me, Alan, right?
You won't let me go to prison.
You'll take care of me.
You look like you're primping for a date.
I certainly hope it's with me.
Lincoln, what are you doing here?
I feel our special relationship has stalled, Shirley, don't you?
I had a brief thought of that Bella, I admit,
but my mind always comes back to you.
I don't know if anyone's ever told you this before, Lincoln,
but you're a pretty weird guy.
Denny Crane was lovely,
but I feel you and I could sustain a deeper connection.
See, the thing is, you don't need a lawyer.
The police don't consider you a suspect.
That's little comfort.
What if someone else were to turn up dead?
Could I persuade you to get a bite with me, Shirley?
You could not.
Would it help if I had a pistol?
Oh, dear.
I bet if this were a movie,
we'd have one of those ominous chords play right about now.
What are you doing, Lincoln?
What you're going to do is walk out of here with me,
calmly and without incident.
You and I need to get on with our special friendship, Shirley Schmidt.
Lincoln, you're nuts, but
you're not this nuts.
Tonight's date is with me after all, Shirley Schmidt.
Thank you for seeing us, Ms. Morris. I'm Alan Shore.
This is Jerry Espenson,
who you spoke to on the phone about Paula Wilkes' will.
Yes.
I believe you both know Ms. Winger.
Hi.
Ms. Winger arrived here unannounced ten minutes ago
with a stunning new development.
Which is?
Basically, the will of Paula Wilkes has been superseded.
Do you know what a holographic will is, Mr. Shore?
- I'm sure I must. - It's a handwritten will.
It need not be notarized or witnessed
so long as it's in the testator's handwriting.
Yes.
It seems Paula Wilkes wrote out
such a will in Las Vegas last weekend on the Botticelli hotel's stationary.
Ms. Winger was kind enough to bring it to me.
How does this will change the old one?
Completely.
It leaves all of Ms. Wilkes' estate to Ms. Winger.
She loved me.
Well, you made her laugh.
I'm funny.
Are you telling me this handwritten will is valid?
Completely.
It turns out, Ms. Winger is also a lawyer.
The plot thickens.
Denny, you seen Shirley?
Why?
- She was gonna meet me. - Why?
We had some business to discuss.
What sort of business?
The kind that wasn't yours, actually.
I told Alan. I'm telling you.
Stay away from Shirley.
I'm okay.
Denny, she can't keep tackling you. You'll end up in the hospital.
I know.
I must admit that the idea of a mother-daughter menage a twaddle...
I think you mean "trois."
How could any mother hit on her daughter's boyfriend?
Loneliness is the hunter, my friend.
Denny, that's almost profound, almost.
Hi, guys.
Just getting some fresh air.
Why?
No reason. I just saw you out here and, uh...
that's all.
I should get back to work.
See you.
What was that all about?
I wonder.
This little murder case, is she guilty?
All women are guilty, Denny. You shou know that.
Yeah.
Guilty of wanting me.
Little ones, big ones, girls that climb on rocks.
I've got to remember,
before I open my mouth, always look both ways for midgets.
That's a good rule to live by.
You're damn right.
So, this client of yours, she did it, huh?
- I don't know. - Oh, come on!
She made hot lesbian love to the victim.
Got dumped, got even.
- When's the trial? - Tuesday.
- This Tuesday? - 10 o'clock.
Can you win?
If she'll let me.
What does that mean?
We need to change our plea.
She's insane.
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