1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,446 Previously on 'Boston legal' 2 00:00:01,446 --> 00:00:03,548 Why do you smell of sex, Denise? 3 00:00:03,548 --> 00:00:04,469 Is it Brad? 4 00:00:04,469 --> 00:00:05,727 Did you tell anybody? 5 00:00:05,727 --> 00:00:07,101 How could he possibly know? 6 00:00:07,101 --> 00:00:09,912 What? / This time I detect both Brad and Jeffrey. 7 00:00:09,912 --> 00:00:10,795 What happened with Sandy? 8 00:00:10,795 --> 00:00:13,425 She just didn't like me that way. 9 00:00:13,425 --> 00:00:14,884 There will be women who do. 10 00:00:14,884 --> 00:00:18,422 If Bethany's out, I am hugely available. 11 00:00:18,422 --> 00:00:19,456 Can I take you to dinner? 12 00:00:19,456 --> 00:00:20,927 Well, actually, I'm getting on a plane. 13 00:00:20,927 --> 00:00:22,455 - Where are you going? - Hawaii. 14 00:00:22,455 --> 00:00:23,603 Is it my mother? 15 00:00:23,603 --> 00:00:24,324 Yes. 16 00:00:24,324 --> 00:00:25,808 I hope I didn't hurt her. 17 00:00:27,055 --> 00:00:30,108 Tell Bella she'd better watch her back. 18 00:00:40,786 --> 00:00:41,712 Denny! 19 00:00:42,291 --> 00:00:43,278 Bella. 20 00:00:44,688 --> 00:00:46,028 You look blue. 21 00:00:46,028 --> 00:00:48,478 I've been attacked by vicious terrorists. 22 00:00:48,478 --> 00:00:50,435 - Terrorists? - Ecoterrorists. 23 00:00:50,435 --> 00:00:53,438 You need to go to court and get me a restraining order, Denny, 24 00:00:53,438 --> 00:00:54,973 and I want it done today. 25 00:00:54,973 --> 00:00:57,136 Bella, you look blue. 26 00:00:57,136 --> 00:00:58,820 I am blue. 27 00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:02,862 The COTA, coalition opposed to the testing of animals, 28 00:01:02,862 --> 00:01:04,374 they've been after me for years. 29 00:01:04,374 --> 00:01:05,724 - Why? - My company. 30 00:01:05,724 --> 00:01:09,269 I own Plum cosmetics, "makeup for the robust woman." 31 00:01:09,269 --> 00:01:10,610 I don't use them. 32 00:01:10,610 --> 00:01:11,771 I can tell. 33 00:01:11,771 --> 00:01:15,332 They claim we experiment on animals to test our products. 34 00:01:15,332 --> 00:01:17,053 - Do you? - Of course we do. 35 00:01:17,053 --> 00:01:19,937 We have to ensure the makeup is safe, for God's sake! 36 00:01:19,937 --> 00:01:24,644 I have just had enough of these psycho, animal-loving, liberal thugs! 37 00:01:26,778 --> 00:01:29,014 - Damn. - Denny, give me the gun. 38 00:01:29,014 --> 00:01:30,343 It's mine. 39 00:01:32,860 --> 00:01:33,911 Hey! 40 00:01:33,911 --> 00:01:35,652 I want you both to get them. 41 00:01:35,652 --> 00:01:39,085 I'm unavailable, Bella. I apologize. 42 00:01:39,439 --> 00:01:40,643 Why not? 43 00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:44,651 'cause I have more fun things to do than represent you. That's all. 44 00:01:44,651 --> 00:01:45,792 Such as? 45 00:01:45,792 --> 00:01:46,949 Uh, root canal. 46 00:01:46,949 --> 00:01:49,375 Maybe I could stick something really sharp in my eye, 47 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:50,503 the simple pleasures. 48 00:01:50,503 --> 00:01:54,114 I want you and the other name partners of this firm representing me. 49 00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,262 I'm not representing you, Bella. 50 00:01:57,139 --> 00:01:58,595 - Denny! - One moment, cupcake. 51 00:01:58,595 --> 00:01:59,836 Shirley! 52 00:02:00,501 --> 00:02:03,120 Shirley, when the woman is unhappy, 53 00:02:03,120 --> 00:02:05,521 the man is rarely satisfied. 54 00:02:05,521 --> 00:02:07,591 I'll let you play with my gun. 55 00:02:08,008 --> 00:02:10,971 Your gun goes off too prematurely for me, Denny. 56 00:02:10,971 --> 00:02:12,495 It always has. 57 00:02:16,201 --> 00:02:20,172 Boston Legal 3x13. Dumping Bella 58 00:03:00,961 --> 00:03:02,083 Vanessa... 59 00:03:02,992 --> 00:03:05,381 you're wearing a yellow dress. 60 00:03:05,381 --> 00:03:06,868 How could you tell? 61 00:03:07,423 --> 00:03:08,616 It's lovely. 62 00:03:08,616 --> 00:03:09,851 Thank you. 63 00:03:13,336 --> 00:03:16,612 Could we get you to put your tongue back in your mouth there, soldier? 64 00:03:17,299 --> 00:03:20,212 Thank goodness we have you, Brad, to keep track of our tongues. 65 00:03:20,212 --> 00:03:23,438 Would you like a list of all the places mine has been this week? 66 00:03:23,438 --> 00:03:25,122 Perv. 67 00:03:25,511 --> 00:03:27,278 Brad, not to start up trouble, 68 00:03:27,278 --> 00:03:30,361 but you're not the only one. You do realize that? 69 00:03:30,361 --> 00:03:31,229 What are you talking about? 70 00:03:31,229 --> 00:03:33,476 I'm sure you can figure it out. 71 00:03:36,573 --> 00:03:38,458 You're not the only one. 72 00:03:52,086 --> 00:03:54,525 I just got off the phone with the DA's office. 73 00:03:54,525 --> 00:03:56,192 They picked up a mister... 74 00:03:56,192 --> 00:03:56,996 Steinkellner. 75 00:03:56,996 --> 00:04:01,914 Yes, and while he is officially denying that COTA painted you blue, 76 00:04:01,914 --> 00:04:06,126 the coalition condones and supports it, thinks you look good in a primary color 77 00:04:06,126 --> 00:04:08,261 and is in fact calling for a second coat. 78 00:04:08,261 --> 00:04:10,209 They're not gonna stop until I'm dead. 79 00:04:10,209 --> 00:04:13,122 You need to do something now. 80 00:04:15,556 --> 00:04:18,557 I feel a wintry frost blowing my way. 81 00:04:18,909 --> 00:04:21,092 Okay, I'll try to set up a meeting. 82 00:04:21,092 --> 00:04:21,895 In the meantime, 83 00:04:21,895 --> 00:04:25,231 maybe you could either try to talk her off the ledge or push her over. 84 00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:26,863 I heard that. 85 00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,892 She's jealous 'cause I've aged better. 86 00:04:29,892 --> 00:04:35,760 Bella, maybe those people aren't protesting your cosmetics so much as you being you. 87 00:04:35,760 --> 00:04:39,556 You might keep in mind that should I marry Denny, 88 00:04:39,556 --> 00:04:41,583 I'll have a stake in this firm. 89 00:04:41,583 --> 00:04:44,521 Unless someone manages to drive that stake through your heart, 90 00:04:44,521 --> 00:04:46,460 small target that it is. 91 00:04:46,460 --> 00:04:48,313 You want to adjourn to the powder room? 92 00:04:48,313 --> 00:04:51,414 Bella, I'm the senior partner in a law firm. 93 00:04:51,414 --> 00:04:54,440 I sit on the board of directors of a university, 94 00:04:54,440 --> 00:04:56,465 two museums and a hospital. 95 00:04:56,465 --> 00:05:00,966 I consider myself an intelligent, civilized and dignified person. 96 00:05:00,966 --> 00:05:02,550 All of which is to say that 97 00:05:02,550 --> 00:05:05,227 if you and I were to adjourn to the powder room, 98 00:05:05,227 --> 00:05:08,292 I would kick your over-the-top ass. 99 00:05:09,751 --> 00:05:11,312 I'm aroused. 100 00:05:28,963 --> 00:05:30,558 May I speak with you? 101 00:05:30,558 --> 00:05:31,964 Sure. 102 00:05:33,062 --> 00:05:36,442 I was thinking about what you said, 103 00:05:36,442 --> 00:05:42,763 about how there will be women out there who like me for me. 104 00:05:42,763 --> 00:05:44,527 I said that? 105 00:05:46,590 --> 00:05:48,146 I'm kidding. 106 00:05:48,146 --> 00:05:50,493 Of course those women are out there, 107 00:05:50,493 --> 00:05:53,031 lots of women, Clarence. 108 00:05:53,647 --> 00:05:56,035 I was wondering, uh... 109 00:05:56,035 --> 00:05:58,719 whether you... 110 00:05:58,719 --> 00:06:01,041 might be one of them. 111 00:06:12,234 --> 00:06:15,195 Gee, I wonder where Clarence could have gone. 112 00:06:17,234 --> 00:06:19,631 Take off the bag, Clarence. 113 00:06:25,670 --> 00:06:26,785 Am I fired? 114 00:06:26,785 --> 00:06:28,890 No, you work for me. 115 00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:32,360 I'm willing to quit if it affects your decision. 116 00:06:34,027 --> 00:06:36,854 I don't want you to quit. 117 00:06:37,217 --> 00:06:39,663 And I'd love to go out with you. 118 00:06:41,838 --> 00:06:44,268 - Really? - Really. 119 00:06:48,621 --> 00:06:52,294 I need to go to the bathroom right now. 120 00:06:55,163 --> 00:06:57,065 Men's room, Clarence. 121 00:07:07,978 --> 00:07:09,968 Um, Mr. Crane? 122 00:07:11,517 --> 00:07:14,121 My name is, uh, Matthew Steinkellner. 123 00:07:14,121 --> 00:07:15,371 You wanted to see me? 124 00:07:15,371 --> 00:07:17,723 You're the man who attacked Bella? 125 00:07:17,723 --> 00:07:19,795 No, I've never attacked anybody, okay? 126 00:07:19,795 --> 00:07:21,863 There must be some mistake. 127 00:07:21,863 --> 00:07:23,865 You made it, son. 128 00:07:24,081 --> 00:07:25,628 Here's a piece of advice. 129 00:07:25,628 --> 00:07:28,246 Your group needs to stop targeting Bella Horowitz. 130 00:07:28,246 --> 00:07:32,621 I say this not only out of concern for her life, but for yours. 131 00:07:32,621 --> 00:07:34,722 I'm, I'm sorry. That sounds like a threat. 132 00:07:34,722 --> 00:07:37,562 I mean, is that legal for attorneys to make threats like that? 133 00:07:37,562 --> 00:07:39,129 Here's another piece of advice. 134 00:07:39,129 --> 00:07:40,322 Always have your lawyer with you. 135 00:07:40,322 --> 00:07:42,865 That way, when I deny having said something, which I typically do, 136 00:07:42,865 --> 00:07:44,363 you'll have a witness. 137 00:07:44,363 --> 00:07:46,935 Well, actually... 138 00:07:50,797 --> 00:07:54,803 I will mop up the courtroom floor with you, you fat old man. 139 00:07:54,803 --> 00:07:56,015 What's going on here? 140 00:07:56,015 --> 00:07:57,371 Well, well, well. 141 00:07:57,371 --> 00:07:59,154 Princess Hideous. 142 00:07:59,154 --> 00:08:01,724 She's representing the man who painted you blue. 143 00:08:01,724 --> 00:08:03,211 You got a problem with that? 144 00:08:03,211 --> 00:08:06,550 Bethany, no matter what our differences, sweetheart, 145 00:08:06,550 --> 00:08:09,788 I certainly never brought you up to represent terrorists. 146 00:08:09,788 --> 00:08:12,965 This has nothing to do with who I'm defending, queenie. 147 00:08:12,965 --> 00:08:15,503 This is about who I'm going after. 148 00:08:15,503 --> 00:08:17,073 Come on, Matthew. 149 00:08:28,116 --> 00:08:29,011 Good morning. 150 00:08:29,011 --> 00:08:30,118 Good morning. 151 00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,427 Where's Shirley, Denny? 152 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:32,815 They just left for court. 153 00:08:32,815 --> 00:08:33,668 What's going on? 154 00:08:33,668 --> 00:08:37,465 What is going on is your presence is hereby requested, 155 00:08:37,465 --> 00:08:42,908 check that, required at our office costume party this Thursday night. 156 00:08:42,908 --> 00:08:44,330 A costume party? 157 00:08:44,330 --> 00:08:47,998 I have taken the liberty of hiring a consultant 158 00:08:47,998 --> 00:08:50,101 for the purpose of improving office morale. 159 00:08:50,101 --> 00:08:52,993 Evidently, costume parties are gold. 160 00:08:52,993 --> 00:08:55,898 Moreover, I want each of you to dress up 161 00:08:55,898 --> 00:08:59,909 as somebody whose values or strengths you like to imbue yourselves with. 162 00:08:59,909 --> 00:09:03,241 Where's the fun in that if we all come dressed as you? 163 00:09:03,241 --> 00:09:07,192 The point is to reveal a little of yourself to your coworkers, 164 00:09:07,192 --> 00:09:09,115 and I am serious about this. 165 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,690 I want you all to make an effort. 166 00:09:10,690 --> 00:09:12,038 This is so high school. 167 00:09:12,038 --> 00:09:15,192 As opposed to you and Jeffrey slugging it out in the men's room? 168 00:09:15,192 --> 00:09:16,374 - I won. - Did not. 169 00:09:16,374 --> 00:09:17,234 Shut up. 170 00:09:17,234 --> 00:09:18,330 There's some morale. 171 00:09:18,330 --> 00:09:21,889 You will all be there in costume, no exceptions. 172 00:09:21,889 --> 00:09:23,394 That is all. 173 00:09:25,809 --> 00:09:28,396 - Denise, can I ask you something? - Sure. 174 00:09:28,671 --> 00:09:30,874 Are you sleeping with anybody else? 175 00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:33,069 Uh, first of all, that's a personal question. 176 00:09:33,069 --> 00:09:34,982 Well, you're sleeping with me, so I thought I should... 177 00:09:36,894 --> 00:09:39,078 You and I have an arrangement. No exclusivity, no... 178 00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,891 Fine, but there are safety concerns. 179 00:09:40,891 --> 00:09:43,421 You can assume that any sex I am having is safe, 180 00:09:43,421 --> 00:09:45,787 not that I'm having any of it separate and apart from you. 181 00:09:45,787 --> 00:09:47,071 Are you sleeping with somebody else in this office? 182 00:09:47,071 --> 00:09:48,780 - I'm not having this conversation. - Denise, I will not be made a fool of. 183 00:09:48,780 --> 00:09:50,408 Are you sleeping with somebody else in this office? 184 00:09:50,408 --> 00:09:52,473 If you no longer want to sleep with me, that's fine. 185 00:09:52,473 --> 00:09:55,855 I'll miss it, but I'm not answering these questions. 186 00:10:00,359 --> 00:10:01,931 He may deny that he did it, 187 00:10:01,931 --> 00:10:03,159 but he's behind it. 188 00:10:03,159 --> 00:10:06,125 His little group has been harassing me and my company for years, 189 00:10:06,125 --> 00:10:09,752 and now he's hired my own daughter to further aggravate me. 190 00:10:09,752 --> 00:10:13,730 Objection. I agreed to aggravate you for free. 191 00:10:13,730 --> 00:10:17,921 Hold on. I don't allow people to play out family problems in my courtroom. 192 00:10:17,921 --> 00:10:20,709 Just what is it you want from me? 193 00:10:20,709 --> 00:10:25,383 I want a restraining order keeping that man's flock of protesters away from me. 194 00:10:25,383 --> 00:10:27,941 They carry their placards outside my corporate headquarters. 195 00:10:27,941 --> 00:10:30,470 They say that we kill and torture animals. 196 00:10:30,470 --> 00:10:33,682 They verbally assault anybody going in or out of our building. 197 00:10:33,682 --> 00:10:35,538 I'm losing business. 198 00:10:35,538 --> 00:10:38,300 I'm losing clients. I'm losing employees. 199 00:10:38,300 --> 00:10:39,777 I mean, enough is enough. 200 00:10:39,777 --> 00:10:41,154 Thank you, Bella. 201 00:10:44,098 --> 00:10:47,016 She's all yours, my little friend. 202 00:10:51,638 --> 00:10:55,150 The truth is, you do kill and torture animals, do you not? 203 00:10:55,150 --> 00:10:57,718 We test our products on animals, yes, 204 00:10:57,718 --> 00:11:00,323 but it is to save human lives. 205 00:11:00,323 --> 00:11:02,584 Oh, you're a humanitarian? 206 00:11:02,584 --> 00:11:05,371 Hold on just one second. 207 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,980 Are you a midget? 208 00:11:07,980 --> 00:11:09,692 Are you an imbecile? 209 00:11:09,692 --> 00:11:12,236 - Uh, objection. - Sustained. 210 00:11:12,236 --> 00:11:13,871 Your company uses rabbits? 211 00:11:13,871 --> 00:11:14,892 Like many do. 212 00:11:14,892 --> 00:11:18,363 You lock them in stocks so just their heads stick out. 213 00:11:18,363 --> 00:11:22,319 You clip their eyelids open and pour chemicals into their eyes, 214 00:11:22,319 --> 00:11:26,121 while they're left there for two weeks to experience ulceration, 215 00:11:26,121 --> 00:11:28,847 bleeding and massive iris deterioration. 216 00:11:28,847 --> 00:11:31,472 Your honor, the rabbits like it. 217 00:11:32,693 --> 00:11:37,125 Do you not subject these animals to excruciating pain? 218 00:11:37,125 --> 00:11:40,473 The rabbits, which are from the rodent family, 219 00:11:40,473 --> 00:11:43,767 do experience some discomfiture, but once again, 220 00:11:43,767 --> 00:11:46,014 it is to save human suffering. 221 00:11:46,014 --> 00:11:48,242 And what's human suffering to you, 222 00:11:48,242 --> 00:11:50,384 going without blush? 223 00:11:50,384 --> 00:11:51,903 - Objection. - Overruled. 224 00:11:51,903 --> 00:11:54,032 - Objection. - Sustained. 225 00:11:54,032 --> 00:11:58,454 Sometimes the rabbits break their own necks trying to escape. 226 00:11:58,454 --> 00:12:03,419 You're saying that my client doesn't have the right to protest that? 227 00:12:03,419 --> 00:12:07,027 You're saying you do all this to be humane? 228 00:12:08,169 --> 00:12:13,004 Well, I guess people can justify all types of bad behavior, 229 00:12:13,004 --> 00:12:15,671 can't they, Bella? 230 00:12:17,339 --> 00:12:19,354 It's getting ugly. 231 00:12:20,315 --> 00:12:22,432 Denny Crane ugly. 232 00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,889 So what gave you the nerve to ask me out? 233 00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,009 Oh, I don't know. 234 00:12:37,009 --> 00:12:38,102 Yes, you do. 235 00:12:38,102 --> 00:12:42,075 Well, it seemed we both have a lot in common. 236 00:12:42,075 --> 00:12:43,053 Such as? 237 00:12:43,053 --> 00:12:44,122 Well... 238 00:12:44,122 --> 00:12:46,252 we both kind of have shells. 239 00:12:46,252 --> 00:12:48,763 Mine's Clarice or Oprah. 240 00:12:48,763 --> 00:12:54,443 Yours, you just have a regular old hard shell to protect yourself. 241 00:12:57,397 --> 00:12:59,056 Who hurt you? 242 00:12:59,318 --> 00:13:00,773 Nobody. 243 00:13:00,773 --> 00:13:03,800 I'm just a tough New York broad. 244 00:13:03,800 --> 00:13:06,381 Who hurt you? 245 00:13:09,396 --> 00:13:12,685 Well, for starters, my father. 246 00:13:12,685 --> 00:13:14,375 He abused you? 247 00:13:14,375 --> 00:13:18,173 Not sexually but physically. 248 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:21,639 And you're the first person I've ever told that to, 249 00:13:21,639 --> 00:13:25,461 outside of a few who charge by the hour to listen. 250 00:13:26,435 --> 00:13:27,603 Who hurt you? 251 00:13:27,603 --> 00:13:29,526 Oh, I don't remember. 252 00:13:29,526 --> 00:13:33,368 My mother says I was bullied in preschool. 253 00:13:33,368 --> 00:13:36,454 And I either blocked it out, or I just don't remember. 254 00:13:36,454 --> 00:13:40,759 I do remember I grew up with a lot of imaginary friends. 255 00:13:40,759 --> 00:13:44,167 I never felt lonely alone, but with people... 256 00:13:44,167 --> 00:13:46,436 Do you stay in touch? 257 00:13:46,436 --> 00:13:47,967 I'm sorry? 258 00:13:48,168 --> 00:13:50,429 With your imaginary friends. 259 00:13:51,244 --> 00:13:53,840 Uh, well, uh, some. 260 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:55,908 We have reunions. 261 00:13:58,469 --> 00:14:00,557 Am I too weird? 262 00:14:01,894 --> 00:14:04,165 You're just weird enough. 263 00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:13,452 It's Coho, isn't it? 264 00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:14,379 I beg your pardon? 265 00:14:14,379 --> 00:14:16,704 You're having sex with Jeffrey Coho. 266 00:14:17,131 --> 00:14:18,838 The only part of my sex life 267 00:14:18,838 --> 00:14:22,085 that is any of your business is the part that involves you. 268 00:14:22,085 --> 00:14:23,856 Just tell me if it's him. 269 00:14:23,856 --> 00:14:26,062 Denise, everything all right? 270 00:14:26,062 --> 00:14:29,667 You look a little overextended. 271 00:14:46,029 --> 00:14:48,951 I'm sure there's a long, very complicated answer, 272 00:14:48,951 --> 00:14:51,647 but what is your problem? 273 00:14:52,981 --> 00:14:54,496 You're right. 274 00:14:55,064 --> 00:14:56,704 It's a... 275 00:14:57,589 --> 00:15:01,510 long, very complicated answer. 276 00:15:15,804 --> 00:15:19,196 I had a wonderful time. He's a great guy. 277 00:15:19,196 --> 00:15:20,831 Isn't he a little tender for you? 278 00:15:20,831 --> 00:15:23,355 I like tender. Just 'cause I'm not doesn't mean... 279 00:15:23,355 --> 00:15:25,153 Hey! You got a sec? 280 00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:27,596 I guess. 281 00:15:27,596 --> 00:15:30,226 Listen, I realize we're not exactly friends. 282 00:15:30,226 --> 00:15:32,227 Yeah, I was hoping to make progress at the costume party. 283 00:15:32,227 --> 00:15:34,584 Yeah, could you step into the closet? 284 00:15:34,584 --> 00:15:35,349 Excuse me? 285 00:15:35,349 --> 00:15:36,779 I want to have a conversation with you in private. 286 00:15:36,779 --> 00:15:38,183 Just step into the closet, please. 287 00:15:38,183 --> 00:15:40,690 I didn't know you were out of the closet, Brad. 288 00:15:46,274 --> 00:15:48,983 Are you and Denise having intimate relations? 289 00:15:48,983 --> 00:15:50,072 Why would you ask me that? 290 00:15:50,072 --> 00:15:52,134 - Are you? - Are you? 291 00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:54,767 As a matter of fact, I am. 292 00:15:55,641 --> 00:15:56,922 Answer my question, please. 293 00:15:56,922 --> 00:15:59,423 I will not answer your question. 294 00:16:00,407 --> 00:16:02,665 Do you know what wildfire ink is, Jeff? 295 00:16:02,665 --> 00:16:06,765 It's a chemical used to find certain evidence under ultraviolet light, Brad. 296 00:16:06,765 --> 00:16:07,769 You get a gold star. 297 00:16:07,769 --> 00:16:10,357 It also lights up when it's mixed with certain types of oils, 298 00:16:10,357 --> 00:16:13,364 some of which are very difficult to get off your hands. 299 00:16:13,364 --> 00:16:14,339 Excellent. 300 00:16:14,339 --> 00:16:17,200 I'm sure that would be very interesting if I cared. 301 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,356 I rubbed some of those oils on Denise's hands. 302 00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,849 Excuse me? 303 00:16:23,110 --> 00:16:25,778 This is a portable ultraviolet light. 304 00:16:25,778 --> 00:16:27,660 Do you have anything you'd like to tell me, Jeff? 305 00:16:27,660 --> 00:16:29,517 Only that you're insane, Brad. 306 00:16:29,517 --> 00:16:31,748 I'm gonna turn off the light to the closet. 307 00:16:31,748 --> 00:16:33,944 Let's see if Denise's hands have been anywhere near you. 308 00:16:33,944 --> 00:16:35,107 I take that back. 309 00:16:35,107 --> 00:16:36,959 You're really insane. 310 00:16:55,833 --> 00:16:57,427 This is awkward. 311 00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:01,698 You don't like animal testing? 312 00:17:01,698 --> 00:17:03,388 COTA is against animal cruelty of any kind... 313 00:17:03,388 --> 00:17:04,683 You paint people blue? 314 00:17:04,683 --> 00:17:06,836 But somebody else beat us to Bella. 315 00:17:06,836 --> 00:17:09,703 - The protest at my client's company? - That was us. 316 00:17:09,703 --> 00:17:11,581 You throw blood on people wearing furs. 317 00:17:11,581 --> 00:17:13,606 Uh, it's, uh, dye, but point taken. 318 00:17:13,606 --> 00:17:15,458 People wearing synthetic furs. 319 00:17:15,458 --> 00:17:17,010 Well, they promote the fashion. 320 00:17:17,010 --> 00:17:18,704 - People who eat meat. - Slaughterhouses. 321 00:17:18,704 --> 00:17:19,838 - Leather. - An animal's hide. 322 00:17:19,838 --> 00:17:21,634 - Wool. - Same. 323 00:17:21,634 --> 00:17:23,115 - Football? - Skin of a pig. 324 00:17:23,115 --> 00:17:25,188 - Cancer research? - Oh, come on! 325 00:17:25,188 --> 00:17:27,462 This case doesn't involve cancer research. 326 00:17:27,462 --> 00:17:30,216 She tortures rabbits to make a better mascara. 327 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,859 What the hell is going on here? 328 00:17:32,859 --> 00:17:36,458 What's going on is that we're both in love with the same man. 329 00:17:36,458 --> 00:17:37,827 It's not you, judge. 330 00:17:37,827 --> 00:17:39,727 I am not in love with him. 331 00:17:39,727 --> 00:17:43,662 Silence! I'm very confused. 332 00:17:49,530 --> 00:17:52,372 You know what bothers me about this case, Denny? 333 00:17:52,962 --> 00:17:54,913 That you've come between a mother and a daughter. 334 00:17:54,913 --> 00:17:56,081 I know. 335 00:17:56,081 --> 00:17:58,593 It was always such a fantasy. 336 00:18:00,251 --> 00:18:01,972 You've got the power to settle this, you know. 337 00:18:01,972 --> 00:18:03,104 I don't think so. 338 00:18:03,104 --> 00:18:07,660 Bella would sue me for malpractice if I counseled her to drop the case now. 339 00:18:07,660 --> 00:18:08,466 Why? 340 00:18:08,466 --> 00:18:10,797 'cause I'm getting ready to drop Bella. 341 00:18:10,797 --> 00:18:13,082 Really? But she's so sweet. 342 00:18:13,082 --> 00:18:16,219 I can't shake Bethany. 343 00:18:16,219 --> 00:18:18,551 Maybe it's that tight little ass, 344 00:18:18,551 --> 00:18:22,183 those big breasts, normal-size head. 345 00:18:22,183 --> 00:18:25,681 Why is it men become such fools over the normal-size head? 346 00:18:25,681 --> 00:18:30,184 I'm getting ready to drop the big one for the little one. 347 00:18:30,184 --> 00:18:32,330 It's gonna get ugly, Shirley. 348 00:18:32,330 --> 00:18:34,886 Denny Crane ugly. 349 00:18:42,485 --> 00:18:44,867 Now I'm intrigued. 350 00:18:46,369 --> 00:18:49,629 So what's the answer? 351 00:18:58,591 --> 00:19:03,100 When I was a sophomore in high school, 352 00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,950 I attended my very first dance. 353 00:19:08,240 --> 00:19:16,724 There was this girl standing across the dance floor 354 00:19:16,724 --> 00:19:19,850 wearing a yellow dress. 355 00:19:20,096 --> 00:19:23,523 She was so beautiful. 356 00:19:24,981 --> 00:19:30,055 I didn't have the courage to ask her to dance, 357 00:19:30,055 --> 00:19:36,705 perhaps for fear of the long, lonely walk back across the gym floor after being refused. 358 00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:42,794 I finally willed myself to go ask, 359 00:19:42,794 --> 00:19:50,896 and then suddenly she was gone in a fleeting second. 360 00:19:50,896 --> 00:19:54,343 She must have left. 361 00:19:54,676 --> 00:19:58,867 I began to imagine what she must have been like. 362 00:19:58,867 --> 00:20:00,583 Her laugh, certainly her kiss. 363 00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:06,431 I still know exactly what that feels like... 364 00:20:07,035 --> 00:20:10,916 though I've never felt it. 365 00:20:14,357 --> 00:20:22,046 She's been a figment for 29 years, 366 00:20:22,046 --> 00:20:23,770 an imagined standard by which 367 00:20:23,770 --> 00:20:29,703 all other women seem to have fallen terribly short. 368 00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:34,610 How could they not after I've individualized her 369 00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:41,223 with every quality I so long for? 370 00:20:44,475 --> 00:20:48,127 I've never met the girl in the yellow dress. 371 00:20:48,127 --> 00:20:51,011 Seeing you, I guess, it just. 372 00:21:00,158 --> 00:21:04,373 Here I am, revealing a little of myself even before the costume party. 373 00:21:27,745 --> 00:21:30,222 How dare you? Rubbing me with chemicals? 374 00:21:30,222 --> 00:21:33,526 When I choose a restaurant, I like to know who else eats there. 375 00:21:34,017 --> 00:21:35,217 Whoo! 376 00:21:35,217 --> 00:21:36,850 Way to a man's heart. 377 00:21:36,850 --> 00:21:40,052 You ever try blindsiding him in the kidneys? 378 00:21:43,168 --> 00:21:45,114 Bella, we're supposed to be in court. 379 00:21:45,114 --> 00:21:46,321 Denny's already left. 380 00:21:46,321 --> 00:21:49,047 Yes, I was hoping to grab you for a second. 381 00:21:49,047 --> 00:21:50,021 By the throat? 382 00:21:50,021 --> 00:21:52,220 Ick. Too much dead tissue. 383 00:21:52,220 --> 00:21:54,271 What do you want, Bella? 384 00:22:00,109 --> 00:22:04,079 I think you probably know I don't like you. 385 00:22:04,419 --> 00:22:06,644 There have been signs. 386 00:22:07,105 --> 00:22:13,168 Well, the reason is 'cause I've always known how much Denny loved you. 387 00:22:13,424 --> 00:22:15,967 He never loved me that way, 388 00:22:15,967 --> 00:22:19,421 but I seem to be making progress. 389 00:22:20,069 --> 00:22:21,636 Anyway... 390 00:22:22,454 --> 00:22:26,115 Denny holds you in a light that... 391 00:22:26,518 --> 00:22:29,723 well, Shirley, it's, it's this simple. 392 00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:32,987 Denny still seeks your approval. 393 00:22:32,987 --> 00:22:36,733 I would be forever grateful 394 00:22:36,733 --> 00:22:39,355 if you would approve of me. 395 00:22:40,659 --> 00:22:43,461 I love him, Shirley, 396 00:22:43,461 --> 00:22:45,596 more than anything. 397 00:22:51,031 --> 00:22:53,031 You have got to be kidding me. 398 00:22:53,031 --> 00:22:54,168 I'm sorry, Ms. Simms, 399 00:22:54,168 --> 00:22:57,318 but the New York Yankees take pride in being very humorless. 400 00:22:57,318 --> 00:22:59,106 I say that off the record, of course. 401 00:22:59,106 --> 00:23:01,861 I simply cannot allow you to display their logo without approval, 402 00:23:01,861 --> 00:23:04,141 for which I'll need a written request. 403 00:23:04,141 --> 00:23:05,434 What's going on? 404 00:23:05,434 --> 00:23:07,362 This little peanut somehow found out... 405 00:23:07,362 --> 00:23:09,124 My name is Mr. Prig. 406 00:23:09,124 --> 00:23:14,655 This Mr. Prig somehow found out that I got a Yankees costume for our party. 407 00:23:14,655 --> 00:23:16,943 He's threatening to enjoin me from wearing it. 408 00:23:16,943 --> 00:23:18,860 We take ourselves very seriously. 409 00:23:18,860 --> 00:23:20,236 What if I do wear it? 410 00:23:20,236 --> 00:23:21,430 Well, now that you have notice, 411 00:23:21,430 --> 00:23:23,695 we could avail ourselves of punitive damages, 412 00:23:23,695 --> 00:23:26,625 and I'm a very punitive little prig. 413 00:23:26,859 --> 00:23:28,453 Look here, you little gnome, 414 00:23:28,453 --> 00:23:30,885 you need to busy yourself with something important, 415 00:23:30,885 --> 00:23:33,204 like buying up the best players on the free agent market, 416 00:23:33,204 --> 00:23:34,823 so you can win championships, 417 00:23:34,823 --> 00:23:37,386 keep your pompous asses all buffed, 418 00:23:37,386 --> 00:23:39,964 allow your fans to feel good about themselves, 419 00:23:39,964 --> 00:23:44,586 even though most of them can't spell and have mug shots! 420 00:23:50,215 --> 00:23:53,203 What did I say about Clarice coming in here? 421 00:23:53,203 --> 00:23:55,308 Sorry, he seemed to be picking on you, and she just took over. 422 00:23:55,308 --> 00:23:56,762 I don't want her to take over, 423 00:23:56,762 --> 00:23:59,944 as your boss and especially as your girlfriend. 424 00:24:01,338 --> 00:24:02,744 What? 425 00:24:02,744 --> 00:24:04,176 Are you... 426 00:24:05,312 --> 00:24:07,956 are you my girlfriend? 427 00:24:07,956 --> 00:24:09,721 Um... 428 00:24:14,041 --> 00:24:17,976 My client isn't protesting against a doctor trying to cure AIDS here. 429 00:24:17,976 --> 00:24:22,051 He isn't singling out a hunter trying to provide food for his family. 430 00:24:22,051 --> 00:24:25,495 He's going after a billion-dollar cosmetics company 431 00:24:25,495 --> 00:24:28,817 that tortures rabbits in the name of makeup. 432 00:24:28,817 --> 00:24:31,393 There are all kinds of alternative testing methods 433 00:24:31,393 --> 00:24:34,402 and thousands of ingredients that can be safely used 434 00:24:34,402 --> 00:24:37,629 to make the same products without hurting animals. 435 00:24:37,629 --> 00:24:41,908 Revlon does it. Avon, Clinique, 436 00:24:41,908 --> 00:24:43,933 but not big Bella. 437 00:24:43,933 --> 00:24:46,513 She just doesn't care. 438 00:24:47,481 --> 00:24:51,831 We try to pass ourselves off as a compassionate people, your honor. 439 00:24:51,831 --> 00:24:53,831 We prioritize kindness 440 00:24:53,831 --> 00:24:57,538 as one of the most important values to instill in our children. 441 00:24:57,538 --> 00:24:59,691 Integrity is another. 442 00:24:59,691 --> 00:25:05,319 Where is either in making animals suffer in the name of our personal vanity? 443 00:25:05,319 --> 00:25:07,643 At some point, people have to stand up 444 00:25:07,643 --> 00:25:09,657 and say, "this is wrong." 445 00:25:09,657 --> 00:25:14,202 That man and his coalition stand up every day. 446 00:25:14,202 --> 00:25:15,151 My God. 447 00:25:15,151 --> 00:25:18,717 The question can't always be, "how much money do we want to make?" 448 00:25:18,717 --> 00:25:22,050 It should be, "who do we want to be?" 449 00:25:23,228 --> 00:25:25,607 We're a funny people, your honor. 450 00:25:25,607 --> 00:25:28,564 We have all these feel-good movies about animals, 451 00:25:28,564 --> 00:25:32,129 whether it be "Old Yeller" or saving the whales 452 00:25:32,129 --> 00:25:35,174 or penguins marching off to wherever they march to. 453 00:25:35,174 --> 00:25:38,277 I must admit, I didn't get my academy screener on that one. 454 00:25:38,277 --> 00:25:40,923 And every May, we drink mint juleps 455 00:25:40,923 --> 00:25:44,829 and dress up in fancy cloth and wear silly hats 456 00:25:44,829 --> 00:25:49,301 as Thoroughbred are led out like royalty for the Kentucky derby. 457 00:25:49,301 --> 00:25:52,079 My God, we treat them with such reverence. 458 00:25:52,079 --> 00:25:54,939 Never mind that a 2-year-old Thoroughbred's bones 459 00:25:54,939 --> 00:25:57,821 aren't fully developed enough to withstand such a pounding, 460 00:25:57,821 --> 00:26:01,689 and we certainly don't talk about how, after they stop competing, 461 00:26:01,689 --> 00:26:03,920 many racehorses are slaughtered. 462 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,662 Does she kill horses? 463 00:26:05,662 --> 00:26:07,001 No, she doesn't, judge. 464 00:26:07,001 --> 00:26:08,920 Then what's your point? 465 00:26:08,920 --> 00:26:14,055 My point is, despite our proclaimed love of animals, 466 00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:17,682 they really exist for our amusement, our pleasure, 467 00:26:17,682 --> 00:26:20,712 whether it be the caged ones in zoos, 468 00:26:20,712 --> 00:26:22,727 the cooked ones on our plate, 469 00:26:22,727 --> 00:26:26,496 the ones we make sick so we don't have to be. 470 00:26:26,496 --> 00:26:29,204 Miss Horowitz thinks that we should draw the line somewhere. 471 00:26:29,204 --> 00:26:32,469 I agree, but at vanity? 472 00:26:32,469 --> 00:26:34,357 This is America the beautiful, 473 00:26:34,357 --> 00:26:37,074 land of the breast, cheek and hair implants, 474 00:26:37,074 --> 00:26:40,197 where we surgically suck fat from our guts, 475 00:26:40,197 --> 00:26:43,532 cut open our faces and stretch them halfway up to our crowns, 476 00:26:43,532 --> 00:26:45,593 inject our lips with collagen. 477 00:26:45,593 --> 00:26:49,378 During the holidays, we give gift certificates for laser peels. 478 00:26:49,378 --> 00:26:51,831 I can see you've had yours. 479 00:26:51,831 --> 00:26:53,435 And makeup... 480 00:26:53,688 --> 00:26:56,166 dear God in heaven, makeup is how we pull it off. 481 00:26:56,166 --> 00:26:59,194 Without it, my client would look like Jerry Lewis. 482 00:26:59,194 --> 00:27:03,466 I still don't know what the hell you're talking about. 483 00:27:04,332 --> 00:27:07,560 I'm simply saying that we, 484 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:12,165 as a people, as a nation, like to feel pretty. 485 00:27:12,165 --> 00:27:14,069 It's who we are. 486 00:27:14,069 --> 00:27:17,786 And if it means a few young rabbits have to sacrifice their lives, 487 00:27:17,786 --> 00:27:20,040 well, they and their families can take heart, 488 00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:23,074 'cause they did so for their country. 489 00:27:23,074 --> 00:27:25,953 'cause when you think about it, 490 00:27:25,953 --> 00:27:31,172 all we can really hope for at this point is to save face. 491 00:27:45,933 --> 00:27:47,444 Did that help? 492 00:27:52,562 --> 00:27:54,070 She tanked it on purpose. 493 00:27:54,070 --> 00:27:55,337 I did not tank it. 494 00:27:55,337 --> 00:27:57,630 That speech was against me. 495 00:27:57,911 --> 00:28:00,115 Why didn't you tell me she was a communist? 496 00:28:00,115 --> 00:28:01,583 I thought you knew. 497 00:28:01,583 --> 00:28:04,113 Alan, coming to the party tonight? 498 00:28:04,113 --> 00:28:07,830 You know how I relish the chance to try out a new frock. 499 00:28:07,830 --> 00:28:09,904 There's a rumor you'll be in mine. 500 00:28:09,904 --> 00:28:12,234 Hmm, I would love that. 501 00:28:12,234 --> 00:28:13,870 Size 8? 502 00:28:13,870 --> 00:28:16,884 Alan, you will not dress up as me tonight. 503 00:28:16,884 --> 00:28:20,022 Shirley, we've been instructed to choose somebody we admire. 504 00:28:20,022 --> 00:28:22,926 That leaves you and dog the bounty hunter. 505 00:28:22,926 --> 00:28:25,844 You will not dress up as me. 506 00:28:26,092 --> 00:28:29,200 Alan, you've got to help me dump Bella. 507 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,218 I'm not good when it comes to breaking up with women. 508 00:28:31,218 --> 00:28:32,200 I'm too soft. 509 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:33,737 Denny, you shoot people. 510 00:28:33,737 --> 00:28:35,039 I thought of that, 511 00:28:35,039 --> 00:28:38,164 but it would be illegal, except in Florida. 512 00:28:38,164 --> 00:28:40,397 You're going to have to dump her yourself. I'm sorry. 513 00:28:40,397 --> 00:28:43,732 Alan, at least help me win back Bethany. 514 00:28:53,956 --> 00:28:56,053 I didn't mean to embarrass you. 515 00:28:56,053 --> 00:28:59,438 I just really needed to know. 516 00:28:59,856 --> 00:29:01,433 Why? 517 00:29:02,272 --> 00:29:04,245 'cause... 518 00:29:05,158 --> 00:29:07,571 of all people, why him? 519 00:29:09,888 --> 00:29:13,472 Actually, he's a pretty decent guy, Brad. 520 00:29:16,925 --> 00:29:23,290 Denise, I don't think I'm modern enough to handle this "friends with benefits" thing. 521 00:29:23,290 --> 00:29:28,051 So I think I'm just going to have to beg out of this arrangement. 522 00:29:30,328 --> 00:29:32,151 Okay? 523 00:29:33,580 --> 00:29:35,307 Okay. 524 00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:58,101 First of all, I will say for the record, 525 00:29:58,101 --> 00:30:03,777 I don't believe in all that moisturizer, botox, fountain-of-youth poppycock. 526 00:30:03,777 --> 00:30:04,621 Oh, please, judge. 527 00:30:04,621 --> 00:30:07,656 How else could you look like you do at 100? 528 00:30:07,656 --> 00:30:12,838 Uh, I am ordering Mr. Steinkellner and his coalition 529 00:30:12,838 --> 00:30:19,661 to stay at least 100 feet away from Ms. Horowitz, the regular-sized one. 530 00:30:19,661 --> 00:30:23,007 As for protesting at her place of business, 531 00:30:23,007 --> 00:30:26,184 if it's a public area, he may do so. 532 00:30:26,184 --> 00:30:29,861 This is still a moderately free country. 533 00:30:29,861 --> 00:30:31,382 Adjourned. 534 00:30:33,715 --> 00:30:35,270 I am not happy. 535 00:30:35,270 --> 00:30:37,943 Well, they won't be able to paint you blue, Bella. 536 00:30:43,084 --> 00:30:45,662 Uh, I've, I've got something to say. 537 00:30:46,792 --> 00:30:47,712 What's going on? 538 00:30:47,712 --> 00:30:50,939 Uh, uh, you once said that 539 00:30:50,939 --> 00:30:56,084 if it wasn't over for Bethany and me, you wouldn't, uh, want... 540 00:30:57,757 --> 00:31:00,597 Bethany isn't over for me, 541 00:31:00,597 --> 00:31:03,331 not in my heart. 542 00:31:04,127 --> 00:31:07,214 Denny, she... she hates your guts. 543 00:31:07,214 --> 00:31:13,267 Yeah, but the thing is, I don't hate hers. 544 00:31:15,258 --> 00:31:16,008 Oh. 545 00:31:19,352 --> 00:31:20,929 Well... 546 00:31:21,415 --> 00:31:27,407 if, uh, my daughter's in your heart, it's, uh, 547 00:31:27,407 --> 00:31:30,441 not a mother's place to... 548 00:31:32,053 --> 00:31:34,890 Oh, I'm sorry, Bella. 549 00:31:35,611 --> 00:31:38,962 I know you won't believe this but, 550 00:31:39,622 --> 00:31:43,747 I actually do place her happiness above my own. 551 00:31:46,371 --> 00:31:48,989 I wish you both the best. 552 00:31:57,559 --> 00:32:00,177 Please don't hurt her, Denny. 553 00:32:10,302 --> 00:32:12,284 I didn't have to shoot her. 554 00:32:19,125 --> 00:32:20,637 So you won? 555 00:32:21,615 --> 00:32:23,995 Still undefeated. 556 00:32:23,995 --> 00:32:25,662 And Bella? 557 00:32:25,662 --> 00:32:27,947 She took it like the man she is. 558 00:32:28,289 --> 00:32:32,368 But now comes the tough part. 559 00:32:32,611 --> 00:32:35,626 Denny, under what pretext is Bethany coming in? 560 00:32:35,626 --> 00:32:39,885 Oh, I told her I had a settlement offer in lieu of an appeal. 561 00:32:39,885 --> 00:32:44,110 I really think you're capable of handling this yourself. 562 00:32:44,110 --> 00:32:45,753 Just speak from your heart. 563 00:32:45,753 --> 00:32:49,205 It's just that it's been so long since I've done that. 564 00:32:52,574 --> 00:32:54,490 What's the offer? 565 00:32:57,629 --> 00:32:59,075 Bethany... 566 00:33:01,227 --> 00:33:05,010 this is not so much about settling the case 567 00:33:05,010 --> 00:33:08,065 as it is settling you and me. 568 00:33:08,065 --> 00:33:09,650 What are you talking about? 569 00:33:09,650 --> 00:33:11,403 I dumped your mother. 570 00:33:11,403 --> 00:33:13,691 You dumped Bella? 571 00:33:13,691 --> 00:33:15,972 'Cause I can't get over you. 572 00:33:17,606 --> 00:33:19,093 Too little, too late. 573 00:33:19,093 --> 00:33:20,506 Bethany... 574 00:33:24,559 --> 00:33:26,189 We all make mistakes. 575 00:33:26,189 --> 00:33:29,852 Too often, people are judged by those mistakes. 576 00:33:29,852 --> 00:33:35,758 I think the true measure of a man lies... 577 00:33:40,255 --> 00:33:45,956 lies in his willingness to right his wrongs. 578 00:33:52,173 --> 00:33:54,696 I love you, Bethany. 579 00:33:55,811 --> 00:33:59,622 So will you join me at a party tonight? 580 00:33:59,622 --> 00:34:02,726 Costumes. You'll have fun. 581 00:34:02,935 --> 00:34:07,685 And you can pretend that you still like me. 582 00:34:38,177 --> 00:34:39,180 Shirley... 583 00:34:40,528 --> 00:34:41,846 you won. 584 00:34:41,846 --> 00:34:44,649 I'm, uh, surprised, to be honest. 585 00:34:44,649 --> 00:34:48,583 Well, rabbits are part of the rodent family. 586 00:34:49,067 --> 00:34:51,675 Who are you supposed to be, Phyllis Diller? 587 00:34:51,675 --> 00:34:53,505 I'm Albert Einstein. 588 00:34:53,505 --> 00:34:54,448 Who are you? 589 00:34:54,448 --> 00:34:56,031 Diane Sawyer. 590 00:34:56,031 --> 00:34:58,070 You were expecting Bill O'Reilly? 591 00:34:58,070 --> 00:35:01,652 Paul, at first I thought this was a stupid idea, 592 00:35:01,652 --> 00:35:03,539 but I've got to tip my hat to you. 593 00:35:03,539 --> 00:35:04,971 Jennifer Aniston? 594 00:35:04,971 --> 00:35:07,799 Hello. Isn't it obvious? 595 00:35:07,799 --> 00:35:10,290 Well, the prop was a giveaway. 596 00:35:11,624 --> 00:35:13,948 Well, well, well, well, well. 597 00:35:13,948 --> 00:35:15,675 Oh, my God. 598 00:35:15,675 --> 00:35:18,149 Denny, it's supposed to be someone you admire. 599 00:35:18,149 --> 00:35:20,279 Anybody who can blast his friend in the face 600 00:35:20,279 --> 00:35:23,328 and get him to take the rap for it is my kind of citizen. 601 00:35:25,286 --> 00:35:27,017 Oh, damn thing. 602 00:35:27,017 --> 00:35:28,769 Uh, Denny, there, there's a rumor 603 00:35:28,769 --> 00:35:31,418 that you're gonna be showing up with an old flame tonight. 604 00:35:31,418 --> 00:35:32,824 I did. 605 00:35:34,785 --> 00:35:36,533 Danny Devito, right? 606 00:35:36,533 --> 00:35:38,803 You got a problem with that? 607 00:35:39,473 --> 00:35:43,220 To infinity and beyond! 608 00:35:43,642 --> 00:35:47,842 Dick Cheney, Buzz lightyear, all the superheroes. 609 00:35:47,842 --> 00:35:48,832 Indeed. 610 00:35:48,832 --> 00:35:50,123 I must say, Shirley, 611 00:35:50,123 --> 00:35:52,795 being in the Lennon Sisters' dress was a thrill, 전율이 일었지만 612 00:35:52,795 --> 00:35:55,530 but this, this is the pinnacle. 613 00:35:55,530 --> 00:35:59,009 I expressly asked you not to dress up as me. 614 00:35:59,009 --> 00:36:01,297 Which is why I dressed as the doll. 615 00:36:02,510 --> 00:36:04,970 To infinity and... 616 00:36:09,531 --> 00:36:11,272 Take off that costume, sport. 617 00:36:11,272 --> 00:36:12,489 You take yours off. 618 00:36:12,489 --> 00:36:14,484 I'm Buzz lightyear here. Ask anybody. 619 00:36:14,484 --> 00:36:16,203 I've always been Buzz. 620 00:36:16,203 --> 00:36:17,642 Take it off. 621 00:36:20,014 --> 00:36:21,778 - Hey! - I've had enough of him! 622 00:36:21,778 --> 00:36:23,649 Now you two are not gonna ruin this party. 623 00:36:23,649 --> 00:36:25,214 Take it outside, both of you. 624 00:36:25,214 --> 00:36:26,179 - After you. - Okay. 625 00:36:26,179 --> 00:36:27,629 Come on, outside! 626 00:36:27,629 --> 00:36:28,896 Go on now. 627 00:36:36,235 --> 00:36:38,200 Care to dance with me, child? 628 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:39,932 Oh, no. 629 00:36:39,932 --> 00:36:40,899 What? 630 00:36:40,899 --> 00:36:43,892 Who doesn't admire Oprah? 631 00:36:44,117 --> 00:36:46,832 Maybe I should have come as Tom Cruise. 632 00:36:46,832 --> 00:36:48,616 We can go home and jump on your couch. 633 00:36:48,616 --> 00:36:50,768 I didn't buy that the first time, honey. 634 00:36:50,768 --> 00:36:51,867 We dancing? 635 00:36:51,867 --> 00:36:53,414 I'll dance with Clarence. 636 00:36:53,414 --> 00:36:54,803 He's in here. 637 00:36:54,803 --> 00:36:57,093 Hold me tight enough, you'll feel him. 638 00:36:57,093 --> 00:36:59,529 Wow. Let's go. 639 00:37:07,150 --> 00:37:09,143 Good idea, Paul. 640 00:37:09,143 --> 00:37:11,797 People seem to be very festive. 641 00:37:12,006 --> 00:37:14,043 Well, thank you, Alan. 642 00:37:16,895 --> 00:37:19,781 What's it like being Shirley? 643 00:37:19,781 --> 00:37:22,992 The thong is a little uncomfortable. 644 00:37:56,340 --> 00:37:57,857 Don't be leading now. 645 00:37:57,857 --> 00:38:00,079 It's always Oprah's show, honey. 646 00:38:00,079 --> 00:38:01,247 Sorry. 647 00:38:03,730 --> 00:38:05,149 Clarence... 648 00:38:05,752 --> 00:38:10,060 no Oprah for a second, okay? 649 00:38:11,005 --> 00:38:12,449 Please. 650 00:38:14,219 --> 00:38:15,571 Okay. 651 00:38:18,076 --> 00:38:20,848 I really like you. 652 00:38:21,202 --> 00:38:23,127 I like you, too. 653 00:39:11,257 --> 00:39:14,160 So it's a yes with Bethany? She's back? 654 00:39:16,406 --> 00:39:18,865 She's still mixed. 655 00:39:19,233 --> 00:39:20,133 But... 656 00:39:20,133 --> 00:39:23,048 Well, was she at all tender tonight? 657 00:39:23,918 --> 00:39:26,947 About what you'd expect from Danny Devito. 658 00:39:30,087 --> 00:39:31,856 Rule of thumb, Alan. 659 00:39:31,856 --> 00:39:36,754 The way to a woman's heart is not through her mother's privates. 660 00:39:36,754 --> 00:39:38,731 I'll write that down. 661 00:39:41,775 --> 00:39:43,290 Anyway, um... 662 00:39:43,290 --> 00:39:46,120 Bethany is gone for the night. 663 00:39:47,726 --> 00:39:50,177 You're not getting in this outfit. 664 00:39:50,635 --> 00:39:53,951 We could go for a quiet drink somewhere. 665 00:39:53,951 --> 00:39:57,380 We're having a quiet drink right here. 666 00:40:02,088 --> 00:40:06,384 I'm driving you absolutely crazy, aren't I? 667 00:40:10,087 --> 00:40:13,310 If you had any idea how you look... 668 00:40:17,225 --> 00:40:19,610 Shirley was the one, Alan. 669 00:40:20,055 --> 00:40:22,048 One night, while making love, 670 00:40:22,048 --> 00:40:24,691 she recited Proust to me. 671 00:40:24,691 --> 00:40:27,211 - Did you understand it? - Not a word. 672 00:40:27,211 --> 00:40:29,118 I thought she was possessed. 673 00:40:29,744 --> 00:40:32,456 - You're not Buzz! - I've always been buzz! 674 00:40:32,456 --> 00:40:34,104 Look at those two. 675 00:40:36,947 --> 00:40:38,443 I'm Buzz! 676 00:40:38,767 --> 00:40:41,087 Love us or hate us, there's no other place like us. 677 00:40:41,087 --> 00:40:42,710 Here's to that. 678 00:40:45,413 --> 00:40:46,837 Forget it. 679 00:40:49,770 --> 00:40:52,120 Just one dance. 680 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:55,379 Let me waltz down memory lane. 681 00:40:57,972 --> 00:41:00,317 One dance if you'll drop it. 682 00:41:00,317 --> 00:41:01,622 Fine. 683 00:41:04,607 --> 00:41:06,665 And you'd better respect me. 684 00:41:19,526 --> 00:41:23,280 Do I really remind you of Shirley? 685 00:41:26,181 --> 00:41:28,118 Except some of the lumps are in the wrong place. 686 00:41:28,118 --> 00:41:30,888 The lump you refer to is your own. 687 00:41:41,244 --> 00:41:42,782 Imagine people looking out their window 688 00:41:42,782 --> 00:41:47,124 seeing Dick Cheney and Shirley Schmidt dancing on the balcony. 689 00:41:47,852 --> 00:41:50,359 What must they be thinking? 690 00:41:50,359 --> 00:41:54,513 Well, if they're regular viewers, they know by now, anything goes. 691 00:41:56,112 --> 00:41:57,651 Yes, it does. 692 00:42:08,202 --> 00:42:09,361 Is that a rental? 693 00:42:09,566 --> 00:42:10,988 Shut up! I rented first. 694 00:42:10,988 --> 00:42:12,594 You look like an idiot! 695 00:42:13,949 --> 00:42:15,145 Take it off!