1 00:00:03,378 --> 00:00:04,922 I'm so glad we could finally do this. 2 00:00:05,005 --> 00:00:07,716 I know. Kylie says you're always stuck at the precinct. 3 00:00:07,799 --> 00:00:09,510 Yeah. Oh. 4 00:00:09,593 --> 00:00:12,095 Speaking of. This is work. Sorry. 5 00:00:13,222 --> 00:00:14,306 What's up, peralta? 6 00:00:14,389 --> 00:00:16,201 Peralta: Captain called. He needs everybody back. 7 00:00:16,225 --> 00:00:17,945 There's a lead on the nightingale strangler. 8 00:00:18,018 --> 00:00:22,272 We 're looking for a white male, 5'10", medium build, brown hair. 9 00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,316 Small scar on his right cheek. 10 00:00:24,900 --> 00:00:25,943 Okay. 11 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:30,656 His mo is, he finds lonely women with no friends, poisons their food, 12 00:00:30,739 --> 00:00:32,491 and then guts them in his Van. 13 00:00:32,741 --> 00:00:34,076 It's pretty gnarly. 14 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:37,120 Last seen wearing a salmon shirt, gray blazer. 15 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:41,124 And witnesses have said he has trouble fitting lettuce in his mouth. 16 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:43,210 Okay. Where are you? 17 00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:46,022 Apparently, he has the world's smallest penis and doesn't know how to use it. 18 00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:48,173 Hi, there. I'm Jake peralta, Amy's boss. 19 00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,982 That's not true. What are you doing here? 20 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,927 I am here on a date, 21 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,679 who is now leaving. 22 00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,472 Worth it. Have a great night. 23 00:00:55,556 --> 00:00:56,932 Oh. Your boss seems really nice. 24 00:00:57,015 --> 00:00:58,725 He's not my boss. Yes, I am. 25 00:01:21,206 --> 00:01:24,876 And with a record five felonies solved in one week, 26 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,420 peralta pulls ahead. 27 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:28,784 Did you guys hear that I solved five felonies in one week? 28 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,424 We heard. Really? How? 29 00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:34,094 Five felonies in one week. Light them up, boyle! 30 00:01:39,391 --> 00:01:41,143 That's the sweet taste of triumph. 31 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:42,686 You should shower more. Yep. 32 00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:44,855 Updates on open cases? 33 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,940 I just got a doa on bessemer street. 34 00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:49,860 You're the primary. You're in charge. Take Diaz and peralta. 35 00:01:50,027 --> 00:01:52,195 Yes. My fantasy threesome. 36 00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:54,615 Of cops on a case. 37 00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,618 Detectives, our monthly crime statistics are due. 38 00:01:56,658 --> 00:01:59,202 I want all paperwork on your closed cases by tomorrow. 39 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,848 Scully, you can just write "I didn't close any" on a piece of paper. 40 00:02:01,872 --> 00:02:02,914 You got it. 41 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,518 I already got my paperwork in, captain. 42 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,045 Then, I guess this little reminder isn't for you. 43 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:09,838 Wow. Looks like he hates you even more than me. 44 00:02:09,921 --> 00:02:12,132 No, he doesn't. We have a good relationship. 45 00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:13,634 We're on the same page. 46 00:02:13,717 --> 00:02:15,761 Something to share with the rest of us, Santiago? 47 00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:19,014 No, sir. Iwasn't... peralta was the one that was talking. 48 00:02:19,931 --> 00:02:22,100 God, you must have been the worst fourth grader ever. 49 00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:24,144 Joke's on you. I skipped fourth grade. 50 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,854 Santiago. Anything else? 51 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:27,147 No? 52 00:02:27,230 --> 00:02:28,357 Mmm-mmm. 53 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:29,775 Dismissed. 54 00:02:30,317 --> 00:02:33,320 Hey, boyle. I know you haven't had peralta as a secondary in a while. 55 00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,072 Be careful. It could be rough. 56 00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,074 Hey, saboteur. 57 00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:39,868 That's not true. I happen to be a very good secondary. 58 00:02:40,869 --> 00:02:43,538 So, you were just borrowing those cars? 59 00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,308 Peralta: Ask about his bank account. 60 00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,917 Ask about his bank account! 61 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:48,669 Ask him about his bank... 62 00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,505 Account. 63 00:02:51,588 --> 00:02:53,228 You should ask him about his bank account. 64 00:02:53,256 --> 00:02:55,300 Captain, Santiago broke the glass. What? 65 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:59,638 You can't give up control. You're terrible at taking your primary's orders. 66 00:02:59,721 --> 00:03:01,640 You just do whatever you want. 67 00:03:01,723 --> 00:03:03,183 I could go on and on and on. 68 00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:06,186 Is something no lover of yours has ever said. Blammo! 69 00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:09,231 Look, I can be an amazing secondary, and I'll prove it. 70 00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,636 I know you will, Jake-in-the-box. 71 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,452 Okay. Don't ever call me that again. I'm driving. We should leave now. 72 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:14,653 Carry my bag. 73 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:18,156 But you should pick the music, primary. 74 00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:23,036 Consider yourself part of the furniture 75 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:26,164 there isn't a lot to spare 76 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:30,460 who cares, whatever we got, we share 77 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,214 it's a great picture, sir. 78 00:03:34,548 --> 00:03:35,757 I hate it. 79 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:36,883 Me, too. 80 00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,847 So, I have an eyewitness in the purse-snatcher case. 81 00:03:41,930 --> 00:03:44,099 Only problem is the sketch artist is out sick. 82 00:03:44,391 --> 00:03:45,600 How do you want me to proceed? 83 00:03:45,684 --> 00:03:47,519 Figure it out, Santiago. It's your case. 84 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,896 Yes. I will do that. 85 00:03:50,522 --> 00:03:51,815 Thank you. 86 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,191 Are you bowing? 87 00:03:54,151 --> 00:03:56,987 No. This is how I walk. 88 00:04:01,324 --> 00:04:02,659 What do you need, quasimodo? 89 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:03,928 I got to go meet boyle and peralta. 90 00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,704 Is there something wrong with the captain? 91 00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:07,056 It seems like he's in a bad mood. 92 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,206 I don't know. Who can tell? 93 00:04:10,542 --> 00:04:12,711 You all right, captain? Tough weekend? 94 00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,422 I went to Barbados with my husband. 95 00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:19,551 We wove hats out of palm fronds and swam with the stingrays. 96 00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,845 I've never been happier. 97 00:04:24,055 --> 00:04:25,307 Guy's impossible to read. 98 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,391 Don't even try. 99 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:29,227 That is, without question, the funniest story I've ever heard. 100 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:36,193 Wow. This guy must have weighed 500 pounds. 101 00:04:36,485 --> 00:04:37,879 I think we have an idea what killed him. 102 00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,863 Spoiler alert, it was not starvation. 103 00:04:40,822 --> 00:04:41,924 What do we got? What do we got? 104 00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:44,576 Sorry. Sorry. You're the primary. You're in charge. 105 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:49,498 Frank Patterson. 58 years old, married, no children. 106 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:51,666 Wife found him this morning and called it in. 107 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,877 Okay. Any signs of forced entry or a struggle? 108 00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:56,588 Are you sure about that? 109 00:04:56,671 --> 00:04:59,432 Looks like maybe his belt had a pretty epic struggle with his stomach. 110 00:05:00,383 --> 00:05:01,694 What are you tmnkmg, bowe? For a guy... 111 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,805 I'm calling natural causes. We got heart medicine over here, 112 00:05:04,888 --> 00:05:07,891 home defibrillator, and a frequent customer gift basket 113 00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:09,768 from the cardiac wing of Brooklyn methodist. 114 00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,394 This case is open and shut. 115 00:05:12,062 --> 00:05:13,897 Just like his mouth was constantly. 116 00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:16,316 That was my last fat joke. Okay? 117 00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,586 Diaz, check and see if there's any more meds in the bathroom. 118 00:05:18,610 --> 00:05:21,863 Boer, see what you can find in the bedroom. I'll take the kitchen. 119 00:05:23,532 --> 00:05:26,117 Yep. That's exactly what I was going to say. 120 00:05:26,201 --> 00:05:29,041 It's so weird. He's so good at knowing what I'm going to tell him to do. 121 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:31,289 He just does it. It's weird. 122 00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:38,171 Hey, sergeant. You know how you're really good at, um, doodhng? 123 00:05:38,255 --> 00:05:39,881 I know you think you're complimenting me, 124 00:05:39,965 --> 00:05:42,217 but calling them doodles is an insult. 125 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:44,678 You a big fan of Picasso's doodles? 126 00:05:45,220 --> 00:05:47,931 Sorry. Can you please draw a perp for me? 127 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,976 The sketch artist is out sick and the captain wants this done right away. 128 00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,978 He's in a bad mood. Is he? 129 00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,062 I can never read him. 130 00:05:55,355 --> 00:05:57,524 You look chipper, captain. You have a fun weekend? 131 00:05:57,858 --> 00:05:59,776 There was a small fire in my home. 132 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,320 I lost many photo albums of treasured memories. 133 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,073 I'm devastated. 134 00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:07,951 I'm telling you. He and I have a connection, 135 00:06:08,034 --> 00:06:09,786 and there is something bothering him. 136 00:06:09,870 --> 00:06:11,121 Can you help me out? 137 00:06:11,746 --> 00:06:12,873 Great. 138 00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:15,959 Ma'am, can you please describe the perp to sergeant jeffords? 139 00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:19,504 Uh, yeah. He had, um, dark, curly hair and a neck tattoo. 140 00:06:19,588 --> 00:06:23,091 Wait, wait, wait. Slow down. Uh, let's start with the eyes. 141 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:25,677 Were they desperate? Lonely? 142 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:27,762 Did they betray heartache? 143 00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:29,139 They were brown. 144 00:06:29,681 --> 00:06:31,266 Do you even want your purse back? 145 00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:37,314 So far, you've managed to tell three fatjokes and completely bulldoze Charles. 146 00:06:37,397 --> 00:06:39,000 Is that your idea of being a good secondary? 147 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:42,736 First off, I've told four. And second, I'm helping. 148 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:44,964 I mean, I started cataloging the contents of the fridge, 149 00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,465 but it turns out there's not enough paper on earth. 150 00:06:46,489 --> 00:06:47,991 Five fat jokes. 151 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,243 Thanks, Arnie. See? Arnie thinks I'm doing great. 152 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,578 Arnie, shut up. 153 00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:56,124 Jake, for once, just hang back and let boyle do his job. 154 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:57,876 Fine. 155 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,378 Unless I get a direct order from boyle, 156 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:04,049 I will stand here motionless like a wise old oak tree. 157 00:07:05,550 --> 00:07:07,052 You look like an idiot. 158 00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,805 I'm so sorry for your loss, Mrs. Patterson. 159 00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:12,974 Can you talk about what happened after breakfast? 160 00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:15,894 I took the dog for a walk. When I came back, he was dead. 161 00:07:16,227 --> 00:07:19,856 I'm just in shock. We were going on a cruise together next week. 162 00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:22,525 He had pre-purchased the unlimited soda package. 163 00:07:22,859 --> 00:07:24,986 I'm sure the soft drink industry mourns his passing. 164 00:07:29,616 --> 00:07:31,910 Motion reactivated. 165 00:07:34,454 --> 00:07:36,247 Hey. I'm detective Jake peralta. 166 00:07:36,331 --> 00:07:38,583 Dr. Rossi. I'm the new medical examiner. 167 00:07:38,667 --> 00:07:40,686 Don't let me get in your way. I'm sure you have a lot to do. 168 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:43,672 Actually, I've been given a direct order to do nothing. So... 169 00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:46,049 What brings you here? 170 00:07:46,132 --> 00:07:49,886 Okay. I'm all right. Sorry. Sorry. 171 00:07:50,387 --> 00:07:52,430 You all right? What's up? 172 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:58,799 How's the Patterson case looking? 173 00:07:58,853 --> 00:08:00,355 Uh, it looks like natural causes, 174 00:08:00,438 --> 00:08:03,274 but I'll know for sure once I get the autopsy results tomorrow. 175 00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,568 Jake volunteered to follow up with the me. 176 00:08:05,652 --> 00:08:06,903 My man is all over it. 177 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:09,489 I'm really glad you could sneak away from your case. 178 00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,117 Well, it's technically not really my case. 179 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,954 But on the plus side, I have all the time in the world. 180 00:08:17,455 --> 00:08:20,709 To you. And to the ginormous dead fat man who brought us together. 181 00:08:28,633 --> 00:08:30,885 Boyle: Hey, Jake. Have you heard anything from the me? 182 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,345 She hasn't sent the autopsy report. 183 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:33,722 Oh, that's strange. 184 00:08:33,805 --> 00:08:36,641 Maybe probably a bunch more people died and she got super busy. 185 00:08:36,725 --> 00:08:38,226 That's definitely what happened. 186 00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:39,789 Okay. Just let me know when she calls. 187 00:08:39,894 --> 00:08:41,229 You got it. 188 00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:45,734 Hey. Can I ask you guys something? Can you keep a secret? 189 00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:47,177 Do you know anything about my life? 190 00:08:47,318 --> 00:08:48,361 No, I do not. Good point. 191 00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,280 Okay. So, you know the new medical examiner? 192 00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,240 I kind of had sex with her last night. 193 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:53,700 What? 194 00:08:53,783 --> 00:08:55,744 Oh. Sorry. I forgot who I was talking to. 195 00:08:55,827 --> 00:08:57,907 Sex is something that two adults do with their bodies 196 00:08:57,954 --> 00:08:59,394 when they're attracted to each other. 197 00:08:59,456 --> 00:09:01,136 He's right, Santiago. Do you not know that? 198 00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,585 I meant, what were you thinking? 199 00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:07,297 She was supposed to be doing an autopsy for your primary, Charles. 200 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,674 The guy died of natural causes. What's the big deal? 201 00:09:09,758 --> 00:09:12,052 Anyways, back to last night. As you would imagine, 202 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,335 I'm normally up for pretty much anything in the bedroom. 203 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,973 But I can't tell ifwhat happened was weird or sexy. 204 00:09:17,599 --> 00:09:19,684 Wait. Close your eyes. 205 00:09:19,768 --> 00:09:20,977 Oh, okay. 206 00:09:24,314 --> 00:09:25,315 Ah! 207 00:09:28,151 --> 00:09:29,235 What are you doing? 208 00:09:29,319 --> 00:09:30,862 I like them cold. 209 00:09:31,613 --> 00:09:32,781 Okay. 210 00:09:33,198 --> 00:09:34,699 Not that weird. Cold? 211 00:09:34,783 --> 00:09:36,576 Like a dead guy? You're reading into that. 212 00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,621 You have a really nice chest. 213 00:09:39,996 --> 00:09:41,081 Thank you. 214 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:45,085 I'd love to crack it open and get my hands all over your organs. 215 00:09:45,168 --> 00:09:47,545 Okay. I wonder how much your appendix weighs. 216 00:09:47,629 --> 00:09:50,840 Oh. It's inflamed. 217 00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:53,134 All right. Wait. That's bad, right? 218 00:09:53,218 --> 00:09:54,719 Oh, no. Yeah, it is. 219 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:57,555 Ew. Please tell me you ran out of there. 220 00:09:58,056 --> 00:10:02,143 No. For some reason, I kind of started getting into it. 221 00:10:02,894 --> 00:10:04,938 Oh. What do we have here? 222 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:09,067 A 34-year-old Caucasian male who is dead. Very dead. 223 00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:11,027 Mmm. Cause of death? 224 00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:14,072 Initial assessment, blunt force trauma. 225 00:10:14,489 --> 00:10:16,699 But what do I find when I probe a little farther? 226 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:20,578 Bruising around the neck and ocean water in the lungs. 227 00:10:20,662 --> 00:10:23,039 Ooh. How long have you been dead, body? 228 00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,708 Four days. Gross. Bloating. Odors. 229 00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,128 Oh. Uh, 24 hours. 230 00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:29,921 Perfect. 231 00:10:30,922 --> 00:10:31,965 Here we go. 232 00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,551 Stop, stop, stop. Weird, weird, weird. 233 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:36,344 Rosa, what's your call? Weird or sexy? 234 00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,138 Weird. I knew it! 235 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:40,890 But also kind of sexy? No. Weird. 236 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:42,451 But more importantly, that's what you were doing 237 00:10:42,475 --> 00:10:44,561 while Charles was grinding through paperwork? 238 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,604 Told you. Worst secondary in the unit. 239 00:10:46,688 --> 00:10:47,957 Oh, what do you guys want from me? 240 00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:50,167 You know, I take over a crime scene, I'm a bad secondary. 241 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,986 I blow off work to have sex with a hot coroner, I'm a bad secondary. 242 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,946 I can't win. What are you guys talking about? 243 00:10:55,029 --> 00:10:57,615 Um, just weird sex stuff that has nothing to do with work. 244 00:10:57,699 --> 00:11:01,286 I once had sex on a futon. And it was in couch mode. 245 00:11:03,288 --> 00:11:04,289 Hmm. 246 00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:11,713 Sarge, all of these are fine. How much longer are you going to work on this? 247 00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,799 It's questions like that that made Van gogh cut off his ear. 248 00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,801 You can't put a clock on art. 249 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:19,512 Ten minutes. 250 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,223 Great. Let's catch this guy so we can give holt some good news. 251 00:11:22,724 --> 00:11:23,725 I want to cheer him up. 252 00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,411 Well, how do you even know he's in a bad mood? 253 00:11:25,435 --> 00:11:27,270 I mean, it's impossible to read that guy. 254 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:32,192 This the most incompetent, worthless report I have ever read in my life! 255 00:11:32,442 --> 00:11:34,611 Get your act together, or so help me god, 256 00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,696 you won't live to see retirement! 257 00:11:37,488 --> 00:11:39,991 It's like, "what's that guy thinking?" You know? 258 00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:44,537 I can read him. And if anyone can figure out what's bothering him, it's me. 259 00:11:44,954 --> 00:11:46,706 He and I are exactly the same. 260 00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:50,376 Except that I'm younger, Cuban, female, single, and straight. 261 00:11:50,460 --> 00:11:51,794 Captain holt's not gay. 262 00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,339 Captain holt's gay? 263 00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,174 Seriously, man. Just retire. 264 00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,678 Boyle, where's my paperwork on that doa? 265 00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,347 Still waiting on the autopsy report. 266 00:12:02,430 --> 00:12:03,782 It was supposed to come in first thing this morning, 267 00:12:03,806 --> 00:12:04,807 but so far, nothing. 268 00:12:04,891 --> 00:12:06,059 This is unacceptable. 269 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,862 I'll call the me and find out what happened. 270 00:12:07,936 --> 00:12:10,104 Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. 271 00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:12,106 That's not necessary, sir. 272 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:14,692 For the record, I think it's natural causes, anyway. 273 00:12:14,776 --> 00:12:17,737 But I'm also the secondary on this case. It's my responsibility. 274 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,900 So, I will head on down there and pick up the report. 275 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:22,492 Good. But don't ever "buh, buh, buh, buh" me again. 276 00:12:22,575 --> 00:12:23,660 Right. I don't know what... 277 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,828 Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh. 278 00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,038 Just go. 279 00:12:27,622 --> 00:12:29,999 Yep. I am going to regret teaching him that one. 280 00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:33,628 Rosa, can I show you something? 281 00:12:34,128 --> 00:12:35,171 What's up? 282 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,424 Patterson's wife told me that they were going on a cruise together next month, 283 00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,677 but her credit card bill shows only one ticket booked. 284 00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:44,305 Either she's lying, or she knew he was going to die. 285 00:12:44,639 --> 00:12:46,307 Huh. Nice find, boyle. 286 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,059 This could be a murder. 287 00:12:48,142 --> 00:12:51,396 Where is that autopsy? Jake went down to the me an hour and a half ago, 288 00:12:51,479 --> 00:12:52,665 he still hasn't got back to me. 289 00:12:52,689 --> 00:12:54,083 Jake went to get the autopsy report? 290 00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,442 I know. Isn't he the best? 291 00:12:56,651 --> 00:12:58,861 I mean, he's really coming into his own as a secondary. 292 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,738 I want to get him something nice. 293 00:13:00,822 --> 00:13:03,866 Does he come across more as a Pinot guy, or more of a syrah? 294 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:06,911 You know what? We better go down there. See what's holding him up. 295 00:13:07,662 --> 00:13:08,830 Good call. 296 00:13:12,208 --> 00:13:13,960 Detectives. Hello. 297 00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,837 Your shirt's buttoned wrong. 298 00:13:15,920 --> 00:13:18,715 Ha. So it is. Well. 299 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,799 How can I help you? 300 00:13:19,882 --> 00:13:21,634 Uh, we came by to get that autopsy report. 301 00:13:21,759 --> 00:13:23,469 Hmm. Is detective peralta here? 302 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,054 I haven't seen him. 303 00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:26,723 Thanks for coming by. 304 00:13:26,806 --> 00:13:28,224 Hold on. 305 00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:33,229 Found him. 306 00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:36,816 Ah. Thank goodness you're here. I am so lost. 307 00:13:37,692 --> 00:13:40,069 Do you know where the vending machines are? 308 00:13:43,531 --> 00:13:44,949 Look, it's not what it seems like. 309 00:13:45,033 --> 00:13:46,284 Yes, it is. Yes, it is. 310 00:13:46,367 --> 00:13:49,662 Here's what happened. I came down here to get the autopsy report. 311 00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,664 And in conclusion, here we are. 312 00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,166 Now, ifyou'll excuse me. 313 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:54,542 Cut the crap, peralta. 314 00:13:54,625 --> 00:13:56,586 Look, I'm sorry I slowed down the autopsy results. 315 00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,296 But everyone knows it's natural causes. 316 00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,089 Not anymore. We think it could be a murder. 317 00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,382 Wait. Like, a "murder" murder? 318 00:14:01,466 --> 00:14:04,737 Or, like, his mouth murdered him by making him eat so much food that his heart exploded? 319 00:14:04,761 --> 00:14:07,096 "Murder" murder. We need the autopsy to be sure. 320 00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,890 I have not gotten to that yet. 321 00:14:08,973 --> 00:14:11,059 You guys have been down here for two hours. 322 00:14:11,142 --> 00:14:12,852 What, did you have sex 40 times? 323 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:16,314 40 times? No. Charles. Look, I'm sorry. 324 00:14:16,397 --> 00:14:17,677 We didn't know it was a homicide. 325 00:14:17,732 --> 00:14:20,711 Well, it shouldn't matter. I'm your primary and I asked you to do something. 326 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:23,196 So, if it's okay, I'd like to be upset with you. 327 00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:25,740 It's more than okay. It's okay times two. 328 00:14:26,074 --> 00:14:29,911 Now, Dr. Rossi, will you please perform the autopsy for us right now? 329 00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:33,122 Actually, with a body this size, I'd need my assistant. 330 00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:36,167 And I gave him the rest of the afternoon off when Jake showed up. 331 00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,002 Guilty. 332 00:14:38,419 --> 00:14:42,632 Okay, fine. I will act as your assistant 333 00:14:42,715 --> 00:14:44,592 because I am a wonderful secondary. 334 00:14:45,051 --> 00:14:46,594 How gross could it be? 335 00:14:46,761 --> 00:14:49,847 I'm just going to need you to hold open this chest cavity for me. 336 00:14:49,931 --> 00:14:52,934 Oh. Wow. Okay. I can do that. 337 00:14:53,601 --> 00:14:56,604 It's no big deal. Just like holding open some slimy elevator doors. 338 00:14:57,688 --> 00:14:59,649 For a family of aliens. Oh, my god. 339 00:15:00,108 --> 00:15:04,070 Yep. There are some signs of stress on the heart, but that's not surprising. 340 00:15:04,237 --> 00:15:06,823 Ah, will you look at that stomach lining? 341 00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:08,449 God, that is just a beaut. 342 00:15:08,533 --> 00:15:09,659 Ugh. 343 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,328 All right. I'm going to need you to go ahead and take your hand. 344 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:16,207 Yep. Get it down there. 345 00:15:16,290 --> 00:15:18,418 Get it on in. There you go. 346 00:15:18,501 --> 00:15:19,585 Oh, that is so big. 347 00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,464 Caught him? Yes, sir. 348 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,676 He was easy to pick up. He looked just like the sergeant's sketch. 349 00:15:26,759 --> 00:15:29,887 You could be a professional artist, boss. Like on the boardwalk. 350 00:15:29,971 --> 00:15:33,558 You think I should draw caricatures? That's garbage art. 351 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:36,060 I don't draw giant-head people on surfboards. 352 00:15:36,310 --> 00:15:37,830 I'm saying you could. You're that good. 353 00:15:38,354 --> 00:15:41,190 Captain, the credit really goes to sergeant jeffords. 354 00:15:41,566 --> 00:15:43,317 Without his refined artistic skills... 355 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:46,446 Finish the paperwork by noon. I want it included in the crime stats. 356 00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,824 I got to say, I always hate how I look in pictures. 357 00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:53,744 But that is so flattering. Also, I'm innocent. You got the wrong guy. 358 00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,830 Shut up. Sarge, 359 00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,582 I need you to do one more drawing for me. 360 00:15:57,665 --> 00:15:58,666 What? 361 00:16:03,212 --> 00:16:05,965 It will cheer the captain up. He'll be over the moon. 362 00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:09,177 He may even lean back in his chair a little and nod slightly. 363 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:12,972 This is a lot of pressure. If I'm going to do this, it has to be done right. 364 00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,057 Scully. Scully: Yeah? 365 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,268 Get me my oils. 366 00:16:17,894 --> 00:16:19,145 Paint or massage? 367 00:16:21,481 --> 00:16:22,565 I'll get both. 368 00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,902 You know, this is one of the most unhealthy people I've ever seen. 369 00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,571 It's like cutting into a big, overstuffed ravioli. 370 00:16:29,780 --> 00:16:31,699 You sure you want me to keep digging? 371 00:16:31,908 --> 00:16:35,036 Unfortunately, yes. The primary on this case says it's a murder. 372 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:36,913 We have to treat it like a murder. 373 00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,539 Okay. Here we go. 374 00:16:39,081 --> 00:16:41,000 Oh. Want to see something cool? 375 00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,585 Here it is. No. 376 00:16:42,752 --> 00:16:45,213 Ah, that's what I'm talking about. Listen. 377 00:16:46,923 --> 00:16:49,342 Goosh. Mmm-hmm. 378 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,968 You know what that was? 379 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:54,555 That was the air releasing from the large intestine. 380 00:16:54,972 --> 00:16:57,808 Ah. In the biz, we call that the "death bubble." 381 00:16:57,892 --> 00:17:00,061 Pretty cool. Here, you want to hold it? Nope. 382 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:04,315 Knock, knock. You can knock with your hands. 383 00:17:04,398 --> 00:17:06,025 Saying it is ridiculous. 384 00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:10,112 Okay. Well, I know you're having a bad day. 385 00:17:11,739 --> 00:17:13,991 I think you're having a bad day. 386 00:17:14,408 --> 00:17:19,038 So, to cheer you up, I had Terry do this painting 387 00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:20,706 to replace the photo you hated. 388 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:25,586 I threw away the photo because I think it's ostentatious to hang pictures of yourself, 389 00:17:25,670 --> 00:17:28,339 especially when you haven't earned a place on the wall. 390 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,236 But you would have me hang a baroque oil painting of myself, 391 00:17:32,260 --> 00:17:34,095 like I'm a North Korean dictator. 392 00:17:34,262 --> 00:17:36,097 What, no ornate gold frame? 393 00:17:36,597 --> 00:17:39,892 Why am I not astride my noble steed, clad in armor? 394 00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:42,645 We could add a horse. 395 00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,815 You just wasted your time, Terry's time, and now my time on this, 396 00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:48,568 when you should have been filing the report on the purse-snatcher. 397 00:17:48,651 --> 00:17:50,403 Oh, I did. It's already in the system. 398 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,863 Oh. Good. 399 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,491 Thank you. Dismissed. 400 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:01,038 Here are the contents of his stomach. 401 00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,873 Oh. That's where they went. 402 00:18:02,957 --> 00:18:04,226 And here's the really cool part. 403 00:18:04,250 --> 00:18:06,627 Get in here. Look at the scarring on this liver. 404 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,922 Cause of death, poison. Ingested. 405 00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:13,217 Boyle was right. 406 00:18:14,802 --> 00:18:16,071 All right. I'm going to go tell him. 407 00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:17,263 Yeah, you could. 408 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:21,267 Or you could stay for a post-mortem. 409 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:23,978 Nope. Sorry. The spell has worn off. 410 00:18:24,478 --> 00:18:26,731 No more weird dead guy sex for me ever again. 411 00:18:26,814 --> 00:18:29,650 It's nothing personal. I just think sex is for the living. 412 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,320 Isn't that right, buddy? Oh, my god. He has no eyes. 413 00:18:32,403 --> 00:18:33,904 Oh, that is terrifying. 414 00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:42,538 What now, Santiago? 415 00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:44,684 I figured out why you've been so tense. 416 00:18:44,832 --> 00:18:46,792 You're worried about the monthly crime statistics. 417 00:18:47,043 --> 00:18:48,753 That's not your concern. 418 00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:51,297 I just checked the stats myself. 419 00:18:51,380 --> 00:18:53,442 Our arrest numbers haven't improved since you got here. 420 00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,384 They're exactly the same as last month. 421 00:18:55,635 --> 00:18:57,875 If this is your strategy to cheer me up, it's backfiring. 422 00:18:58,012 --> 00:19:01,182 Sir, I don't think you realize how good flat numbers are. 423 00:19:01,265 --> 00:19:03,100 I went back 12 years. 424 00:19:03,184 --> 00:19:06,270 A precinct's numbers almost always get worse under new leadership. 425 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:08,689 But ours didn't. That's a win. 426 00:19:09,398 --> 00:19:11,025 It's just your first month. 427 00:19:11,108 --> 00:19:13,361 Morale is much higher. People are working harder. 428 00:19:13,444 --> 00:19:15,821 You're well on your way to earning a place on that wall. 429 00:19:16,781 --> 00:19:18,532 Thank you, Santiago. 430 00:19:19,575 --> 00:19:22,411 You know. We're birds of a feather, you and I. 431 00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,580 I hate cliches. Cliches are the worst. 432 00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:26,374 Okay. 433 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,386 We know you killed your husband. 434 00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:40,137 That cruise you planned was for one. 435 00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:42,139 Plus, the autopsy showed clear signs of poison. 436 00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:45,267 And for the record, the inside of his body was very gross. 437 00:19:45,351 --> 00:19:47,812 Noted. My only question is, why did you do it? 438 00:19:48,562 --> 00:19:52,108 Hmm. He drove me to it. He had affair after affair. 439 00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,859 He was a real Don Juan. 440 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,611 Permission to make a fatjoke? Go ahead. 441 00:19:55,695 --> 00:19:57,613 Are you sure you didn't mean Don flan? Thanks. 442 00:19:57,697 --> 00:20:00,783 Nice. Mrs. Patterson, you are under arrest for the murder of your husband. 443 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,705 Sarge, that painting is tight. 444 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:09,834 It's terrible. The brushwork is sloppy. It's poor use of negative space. 445 00:20:09,917 --> 00:20:11,711 I'm a fraud. Not at all. 446 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:15,353 I'd like to take this home for my husband. 447 00:20:15,423 --> 00:20:17,341 He'll be glad you made me look so happy. 448 00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,011 I was trying to make him look serious. 449 00:20:21,095 --> 00:20:23,055 I still can't read him. No one can. 450 00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:25,558 I can. He likes it. 451 00:20:29,353 --> 00:20:31,147 Nicejob, boyle. You nailed it. 452 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:34,108 Hear, hear. Of course he did. He's a great primary. 453 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,569 And I'm sorry I was such a bad number two. 454 00:20:36,861 --> 00:20:40,197 I may, for the first time have been a bit of a jerk. And I'm sorry. 455 00:20:40,698 --> 00:20:42,199 What a wonderful moment. 456 00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:43,951 I agree. It is a wonderful moment. 457 00:20:44,034 --> 00:20:45,703 What a wonderful moment. Rosa, you agree? 458 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:47,246 It's all right. It's all right. 459 00:20:47,329 --> 00:20:49,290 Wonderful moment ...Ment 460 00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,501 between two guys between two guys 461 00:20:54,378 --> 00:20:56,422 Oh. The da wants to set bail for Patterson's wife. 462 00:20:56,505 --> 00:20:58,591 They need me to send them all the files. 463 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:02,428 I'm the secondary. I'll go back there and do the busy work. 464 00:21:02,678 --> 00:21:04,889 You guys stay here and keep celebrating. 465 00:21:04,972 --> 00:21:07,572 You sure you're not just sneaking off for more weird dead guy sex? 466 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,895 We will never speak of that again. Never. 467 00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:13,522 Okay, bye. 468 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,400 God. Crazy day, huh? 469 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,778 I hate small talk. Let's drink in silence. 470 00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:21,489 Perfect.