1 00:00:03,462 --> 00:00:04,880 Hey, cap'n, got a second? 2 00:00:05,255 --> 00:00:06,632 It's "captain." 3 00:00:06,715 --> 00:00:08,467 What did I say? Llcaplnlll 4 00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:10,135 like cap'n crunch. 5 00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:13,013 All right, but to be fair, cap'n crunch was a war hero, 6 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:16,225 and the primary male role model in my house growing up, so... 7 00:00:17,684 --> 00:00:19,478 Anyways, captain, 8 00:00:19,561 --> 00:00:22,105 you know that jewelry store robbery down by grand army Plaza? 9 00:00:22,231 --> 00:00:24,274 I know who did it. Dustin Whitman. 10 00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,943 I put him in rikers two years ago. 11 00:00:26,026 --> 00:00:28,904 He just got out, and the crime scene matches his mo perfectly. 12 00:00:29,863 --> 00:00:31,156 Peralta: Okay. What do we got? 13 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:34,368 Well, a security cam shows a male suspect, 5'9". 14 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,994 Wearing a black ski mask, 15 00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:39,122 and he bypassed the McConnell alarm by using the magnetic kill switch, 16 00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:41,375 and he only stole diamonds, nothing over two carats. 17 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,001 Yeah. Exactly. How did you know? 18 00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,338 I'm a detective. That's what I do. 19 00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:49,150 I'm just kidding. I need a lot more information, 20 00:00:49,174 --> 00:00:50,944 but that would have been a great exit line, right? 21 00:00:50,968 --> 00:00:53,470 Crime techs aren't done yet, but I'm 100% sure it's Whitman. 22 00:00:53,554 --> 00:00:55,365 Well, let's see what kind of physical evidence they turn up, 23 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:57,015 and then we can talk arrest. 24 00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:59,768 Actually, hilarious story. 25 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:03,063 Peralta: So, that is Dustin Whitman. 26 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:06,149 You already arrested him with insufficient evidence. 27 00:01:07,442 --> 00:01:11,321 By law, we have 48 hours to find that evidence, or we have to let him go. 28 00:01:11,989 --> 00:01:13,865 You just started the clock. 29 00:01:17,160 --> 00:01:19,162 What's up with this emergency meeting? 30 00:01:19,288 --> 00:01:21,790 Whoa, detective Santiago! 31 00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:24,042 Big date tonight. How do I look? 32 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,919 Well, I think you look... 33 00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:31,300 Sorry, that was supposed to be a cat call. I don't know how this works. 34 00:01:31,383 --> 00:01:33,468 Hey, is this why you were getting make-up tips 35 00:01:33,552 --> 00:01:35,137 from the prostitute in the holding cell? 36 00:01:35,220 --> 00:01:37,639 I just wanted to know how she got such smoky eyes. 37 00:01:37,723 --> 00:01:39,474 Turns out it was an std rash. 38 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,311 Detective peralta has made a collar in the jewelry store heist. 39 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,187 Way to go, jakey. Ah, that's okay. 40 00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,481 No! He didn't get sufficient evidence to make it stick. 41 00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:49,318 So we have the next 48 hours to fix his mistake. 42 00:01:50,986 --> 00:01:53,447 What evidence did you have when you arrested this guy? 43 00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:54,990 Some pretty ironclad stuff. 44 00:01:55,324 --> 00:01:57,951 Dustin, it's been a while. 45 00:01:58,035 --> 00:01:59,536 Mind if I ask you a few questions? 46 00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:03,665 Well, well, well, if it isn't "joke" peralta. 47 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,167 That's it, you're under arrest! 48 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,002 Case closed? 49 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:08,805 Holt: If we don't find something conclusive, 50 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,590 itjeopardizes the case and opens the department up to a lawsuit. 51 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,217 So cancel your plans. We're here until this is over. 52 00:02:14,343 --> 00:02:16,053 Damn it, peralta! Owl 53 00:02:16,136 --> 00:02:19,556 now, I know everyone is mad at peralta for ruining their weekend. 54 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,477 That was it. 55 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,813 I was just demonstrating for detective peralta what a fact is. 56 00:02:48,377 --> 00:02:49,737 Terry, you just pulled two doubles. 57 00:02:49,795 --> 00:02:51,129 You must be tired. 58 00:02:51,546 --> 00:02:53,507 I'll stay for this Whitman debacle. You go home. 59 00:02:53,590 --> 00:02:56,009 I'm not tired. Why would you think I was tired? 60 00:03:07,354 --> 00:03:10,816 I ended up doing 25 minutes of sleep chin-ups on muscle memory alone. 61 00:03:12,192 --> 00:03:14,861 Tired Terry still gets after it, that's all I'm saying. 62 00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:18,007 Diaz: Hey, Gina, can you order food for us at the flatbush diner? 63 00:03:18,031 --> 00:03:19,509 They make the best pies in New York City. 64 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,827 Oopsie. You said something super dumb. 65 00:03:21,910 --> 00:03:23,578 The best pie in the city is at crust. 66 00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,747 Wrong. Ignorant and wrong. 67 00:03:25,831 --> 00:03:30,377 Uh, you think you can just bully people, but you can't. It's not okay. 68 00:03:30,627 --> 00:03:33,380 I'm the bully around here. Ask anyone. 69 00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,966 Boyle! You're always blogging on that foodie website. 70 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:37,134 Which pie is better? 71 00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:39,028 Yeah, whose do you like better, mine or Rosa's? 72 00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,929 Oh, uh, you know, I... 73 00:03:41,012 --> 00:03:43,390 I haven't been, uh, either, uh, place yet. 74 00:03:44,474 --> 00:03:45,892 Why is your eye twitching? 75 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,228 Wouldn't you like to know? 76 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:50,631 Gina: Could I see you for a second in the evidence lock-up? 77 00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,774 Charles, I know what's going on. 78 00:03:52,858 --> 00:03:55,777 You've tried both pies. You know mine is better. 79 00:03:56,319 --> 00:03:59,281 But you're scared to tell Rosa, 'cause you're into her. 80 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:03,326 What? That is not true! 81 00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:06,538 Okay? I don't even like food. 82 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,248 Who's Rosa? What? 83 00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:10,333 She... you... You're the scared one! 84 00:04:13,837 --> 00:04:15,297 Planning your strategy? 85 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,507 No, I'm just making funny faces at him. 86 00:04:19,259 --> 00:04:21,845 This mirrored glass is awesome. It straight up works! 87 00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:23,930 An effective use of your limited time. 88 00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:26,641 It is, actually. That's how I got him last time. 89 00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:30,145 I let him stew for a little bit, got in his head and he confessed. 90 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:32,606 You'd better be right. I am. 91 00:04:33,231 --> 00:04:35,031 Hey, make some funny faces while I'm in there, 92 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,651 I wanna see if I can tell. 93 00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,532 I didn't do anything, joke. 94 00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:49,247 That's funny. You said the exact same thing last time. 95 00:04:49,998 --> 00:04:52,584 And how'd that work out for you? Let's take a look. 96 00:04:53,126 --> 00:04:56,797 Okay, here's you at your trial, you in prison. 97 00:04:57,923 --> 00:05:00,926 Me meeting Regis philbin. That was fun. 98 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:04,638 You still in prison, me at splash mountain. 99 00:05:04,721 --> 00:05:06,097 Justpepper these in here. 100 00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,892 You in prison, you in prison, you in prison. You get it. 101 00:05:09,184 --> 00:05:10,519 You got the wrong guy. 102 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,687 All right, not ready to confess? 103 00:05:13,396 --> 00:05:17,567 Fine by me. I've got all the time in the world. 104 00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:21,655 No, you actually have 48 hours. I know the law. 105 00:05:23,615 --> 00:05:24,866 Nuh-uh! 106 00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:28,620 So, looks like we're gonna be here for a while. 107 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,497 Should someone do a coffee run? 108 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,376 You know what? Coffee's on me! 109 00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:38,171 Oh, but no froofy frappuccinos or anything. I've only got, like, 10 bucks. 110 00:05:39,047 --> 00:05:40,173 Okay. 111 00:05:42,801 --> 00:05:45,929 Rise and shine, detectives. Rise and shine. 112 00:05:46,012 --> 00:05:48,098 Peralta, I want you to bring everyone up to speed. 113 00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:51,685 You slept in your office and you look exactly the same. How? 114 00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:53,603 What are you talking about? My hair is a mess. 115 00:05:53,812 --> 00:05:55,981 Oh, yeah. Briefing room, five minutes. 116 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,858 How long were we asleep? 117 00:05:58,275 --> 00:06:01,152 Just long enough for me to squeeze in a quick workout. 118 00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,363 So, like, three hours. 119 00:06:03,989 --> 00:06:05,156 Morning. 120 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:08,493 I can't believe you live nearby and you won't let anyone crash at your place. 121 00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,412 You people already know too much about me. 122 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,289 I know exactly three facts about you, 123 00:06:12,372 --> 00:06:15,166 and one of them is that you won't let any of us crash at your place. 124 00:06:15,667 --> 00:06:17,544 Is that a nightgown? Jeffords: That's mine. 125 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,629 It's a t-shirt from my fat phase. 126 00:06:19,921 --> 00:06:24,050 "If at first you don't secede, try, try again." 127 00:06:24,134 --> 00:06:26,454 Jeffords: When you're that big, you buy anything that fits. 128 00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,889 A lot of fat guy clothes have racist overtones. 129 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,433 Peralta: Okay, a couple of quick announcements. 130 00:06:31,516 --> 00:06:34,060 First, I met our nightjanitor, Ronald. 131 00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:37,147 If any of you are missing hand sanitizer, he drank it. 132 00:06:37,355 --> 00:06:39,608 Second, our warrants finally went through. 133 00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:41,443 We've got to place Whitman at the scene, 134 00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:43,754 and prove that he either possessed or sold those diamonds. 135 00:06:43,778 --> 00:06:46,531 I know you're all tired, but don't forget why we're here. 136 00:06:46,615 --> 00:06:48,116 Because we're dedicated detectives. 137 00:06:48,199 --> 00:06:49,451 Because peralta jumped the gun. 138 00:06:49,534 --> 00:06:51,202 Get to work. 139 00:06:51,786 --> 00:06:53,872 So, we both had good answers. 140 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,999 This isn't a joke. You're ruining our weekend. 141 00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,752 Okay, I'm sorry you had to cancel dinner with your dad. 142 00:06:58,835 --> 00:07:00,712 Date. I had a date. 143 00:07:00,795 --> 00:07:03,965 Hey, if Jake says the guy did it, that usually means the guy did it. 144 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:05,926 Thank you. Everyone listen to Rosa. 145 00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:07,302 No. I'm still furious at you. 146 00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,305 Okay, no one listen to Rosa. She's clearly an accomplice to this crime. 147 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:12,068 I'm gonna go take another crack at Whitman. 148 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:14,535 You've been in there, like, five times. What are you gonna do, 149 00:07:14,559 --> 00:07:15,977 annoy him into talking? 150 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,354 Ha-ha. 151 00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:18,939 Two! Three! Four! 152 00:07:29,240 --> 00:07:31,785 Didn't work. Thank you. Did not work. 153 00:07:35,664 --> 00:07:38,166 Hey, captain, will you please let everyone else go? 154 00:07:38,249 --> 00:07:41,336 I feel bad that I ruined their weekend, and I can tell they're pissed at me. 155 00:07:41,419 --> 00:07:43,648 I mean, Charles hasn't tried to high-five me all morning. 156 00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:44,992 Yes. I've taken the brunt of that. 157 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:46,883 Kitchen buds! 158 00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:49,302 Are you sure Whitman did it? 159 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:50,428 Yes. I'm positive. 160 00:07:50,762 --> 00:07:53,974 Then the whole team stays. We have a better shot with everyone on it. 161 00:07:54,683 --> 00:07:56,494 Fine. Will you at least tell Hitchcock to go home? 162 00:07:56,518 --> 00:07:58,436 His mouth smells like rotten trout milk. 163 00:07:58,645 --> 00:07:59,688 Is there such a thing? 164 00:07:59,771 --> 00:08:00,957 I'm just telling you what it smells like. 165 00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,315 Get out. 166 00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,943 Mmm-hmm. You have the bank records? 167 00:08:05,026 --> 00:08:08,697 Good thing I didn't reschedule my date for tonight. We're never leaving here. 168 00:08:08,863 --> 00:08:11,032 Well, maybe that's a good thing, you know? 169 00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,868 Saved you from another lame Internet date with some lame guy, 170 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:17,455 named dirk or margerine. 171 00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,500 He's not lame, okay? He works with a friend of mine, 172 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:23,503 he has a human name, and I'm not telling you what it is, 173 00:08:23,586 --> 00:08:25,398 because you'll look him up and make fun of him. 174 00:08:25,422 --> 00:08:27,674 I can't believe you think so little of me... 175 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:29,843 That you would just automatically assume. 176 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,386 Is it Luke Mueller? 177 00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:32,512 How did you do that? 178 00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:34,848 Well, you only have one friend, Kylie, 179 00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,307 and she has seven male coworkers. 180 00:08:36,391 --> 00:08:40,103 Goatee, goatee, jaunty fedora, profile pic is a sunset, 181 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,105 tasmanian devil tattoo, goatee. 182 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:45,108 Leaving Luke as the only viable option. 183 00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:49,029 Well, he's nice, and he uses proper punctuation in texts. 184 00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:50,947 Dreamboat. And I wanted to go out with him. 185 00:08:51,031 --> 00:08:52,675 All right, you know what? Reschedule for tonight. 186 00:08:52,699 --> 00:08:54,419 I promise I will get us out of here in time. 187 00:08:54,451 --> 00:08:56,119 Fine. I'm holding you to that. 188 00:08:56,202 --> 00:08:57,245 Where's he taking you? 189 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,122 Terrific, let's get everyone involved. 190 00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,749 Dinner and a movie. 191 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,878 Dinner and a movie is the perfect first date. 192 00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:07,922 I think the perfect first date doesn't feel like a first date at all, 193 00:09:08,006 --> 00:09:09,886 because you've known each other for a few years, 194 00:09:09,966 --> 00:09:13,219 maybe even work together, and then one night you're laughing, 195 00:09:13,428 --> 00:09:16,514 and then all of a sudden it's like, blammo! Kissing. 196 00:09:16,639 --> 00:09:20,435 For me, cheap dinner, watch basketball, bone down. 197 00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,396 So pretty much the same as what I said. 198 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,442 None of the partials match Whitman. 199 00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:29,903 If he did it, he didn't leave any prints. 200 00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:32,322 Maybe he doesn't have any. Interesting fact about me, 201 00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,616 I once burnt my fingerprints off on a wok. 202 00:09:34,699 --> 00:09:37,077 Hi. Hello. 203 00:09:37,368 --> 00:09:39,472 What are you doing? Holt said you didn't have to come in here. 204 00:09:39,496 --> 00:09:41,307 You don't come in on days you're supposed to work. 205 00:09:41,331 --> 00:09:44,125 Because I'm so nice, I brought two pies. 206 00:09:44,334 --> 00:09:46,044 One is from crust, 207 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:49,047 and one is also from flatbush diner. 208 00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,758 Hey, you know what might be fun? 209 00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:54,302 Charles could try them and tell us which one is better. 210 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,346 How fun is that? So fun. 211 00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:59,808 Yay! Yum! Yum! Yum! Yummy! 212 00:10:00,892 --> 00:10:02,435 Yougotasecond captain? Yeah. 213 00:10:02,519 --> 00:10:04,687 I've got these overtime forms for you to... 214 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,358 Are you stifling a yawn? 215 00:10:09,692 --> 00:10:11,903 No, sir. Go home, sergeant. 216 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:15,365 I'm fine. I filled this out. I just need you to... 217 00:10:22,038 --> 00:10:23,540 Permission to yawn, sir? 218 00:10:23,706 --> 00:10:25,500 Go home. 219 00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,799 Please. I'm begging you. 220 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:36,136 Yeah. Fair enough. 221 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:38,346 That's for women. 222 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,475 These your glasses? Uh-huh. 223 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:43,643 They're gigantic. 224 00:10:43,726 --> 00:10:45,770 My contacts dried out, thanks to you. 225 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:48,064 And they're cool. No, they're not. 226 00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,692 Yeah. Wow, you are blind blind. 227 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:52,610 You're a blind cop. 228 00:10:52,694 --> 00:10:55,172 How has there not been a made-for-TV movie about your struggles? 229 00:10:55,196 --> 00:10:56,906 Give those back. Yep. 230 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,786 Wait a minute. I did it. 231 00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:03,872 I got Whitman, dead to rights. 232 00:11:03,955 --> 00:11:05,081 I can still make my date? 233 00:11:05,165 --> 00:11:07,041 As I promised. Go get changed. 234 00:11:07,709 --> 00:11:10,020 And by that, of course, I mean, throw your glasses in the garbage, 235 00:11:10,044 --> 00:11:12,338 then get laser surgery, then recuperate... 236 00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:13,882 And she left the room. 237 00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,136 It's all right. Six out of 12. 238 00:11:18,219 --> 00:11:19,345 Out of 12? Why? 239 00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,639 For the twelve components of food satisfaction. 240 00:11:21,723 --> 00:11:25,018 Salty, sweet, sour, bitter, umami, odor, sound... 241 00:11:25,143 --> 00:11:28,188 Sound? Come on, Charles. Try her nasty pie. 242 00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:36,571 Oh, wow. That's the best pie I've ever had. 243 00:11:36,696 --> 00:11:39,449 No, no, no, no, no, no. 244 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:40,867 What's this? 245 00:11:40,950 --> 00:11:43,679 We were running calls to pawn shops and then waiting for them to call back. 246 00:11:43,703 --> 00:11:47,707 I didn't ask what you were doing. I asked what you are doing. 247 00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:49,542 Pie taste test. It's over. I won. 248 00:11:50,376 --> 00:11:51,711 It's unacceptable. 249 00:11:51,794 --> 00:11:54,380 If you want to know which restaurant has better pies, 250 00:11:54,464 --> 00:11:57,634 you can't just have one guy try one pie from each place. 251 00:11:58,051 --> 00:12:02,722 Everybody needs to try all the pies from both places. 252 00:12:04,224 --> 00:12:05,892 We gonna be here a while. 253 00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:08,978 Debit card statement. 254 00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:11,332 You were at a parking meter two blocks from the jewelry store, 255 00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:12,774 an hour before the robbery. 256 00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:17,278 Oh, no. You found out about my wife. 257 00:12:17,695 --> 00:12:19,864 We both have cards, because we share a joint account, 258 00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,008 because we love each other. 259 00:12:21,032 --> 00:12:23,117 You're incapable of love and I'll prove it! 260 00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:26,037 I'm very tired. I want my lawyer now. 261 00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:31,417 You have changed! You used to go straight to prison! 262 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:33,628 Did Whitman talk? 263 00:12:33,711 --> 00:12:35,255 Oh, he talked all right. 264 00:12:36,214 --> 00:12:38,134 He asked for his lawyer. Peralta: By using words. 265 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:40,468 Which is technically talking. 266 00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,405 We can't ask him any more questions till we find his lawyer, 267 00:12:43,429 --> 00:12:45,390 and we can't find his lawyer anywhere. I'm sorry. 268 00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:49,686 Oh, come on, why is there pie here? 269 00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,562 Peralta: That's not good. 270 00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,565 I think the world of you as a colleague and friend. 271 00:12:54,649 --> 00:12:56,109 Shut up, peralta. Yep. 272 00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,238 Yes! Another one for crust. 273 00:13:00,446 --> 00:13:02,699 It's not looking good for flatbush diner. 274 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:03,992 Oh, come on! 275 00:13:04,075 --> 00:13:06,703 You went home and showered? That's so unfair. 276 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,514 I'm just glad I keep a toothbrush here. 277 00:13:08,538 --> 00:13:10,123 Oh, cool. Hey, can I borrow it? 278 00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,083 Uh, why do you want to borrow a toothbrush? 279 00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:14,646 What possible answer could he give that would make you say yes? 280 00:13:14,711 --> 00:13:16,772 I want to brush my teeth. Jake, it's been in my mouth. 281 00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,190 That's the grossest thing I've ever heard! 282 00:13:18,214 --> 00:13:20,133 That's the grossest thing you've ever heard? 283 00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,802 You caught a guy on the subway with a bag of human ears. 284 00:13:22,885 --> 00:13:24,846 Your thing's grosser. Bring out the meringues! 285 00:13:24,929 --> 00:13:27,557 I brought a few more. That's so many. 286 00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:31,102 You wanted something, sir? 287 00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:32,745 Look, it's impossible to make you leave, 288 00:13:32,770 --> 00:13:35,565 but you do have to sleep, and that's an order. 289 00:13:36,107 --> 00:13:38,192 Sir, this is not necessary. 290 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:41,154 Also, I can't sleep without my whale songs. 291 00:13:41,654 --> 00:13:45,658 Terry, I've seen this before. Problems at home, so you stay late at the job. 292 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,201 But that only makes it worse. 293 00:13:47,285 --> 00:13:50,163 Everything's great with my wife, it's just... 294 00:13:50,246 --> 00:13:53,041 My brother-in-law's in town and we do not get along. 295 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:55,626 He thinks I'm a weakling. 296 00:13:55,710 --> 00:13:56,794 You? 297 00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:00,340 Let me get that for you. 298 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:01,799 I can do it. 299 00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,510 Tiny Terry loves his pickles. 300 00:14:06,763 --> 00:14:08,389 He makes me feel so small. 301 00:14:08,514 --> 00:14:12,769 Who cares what he thinks? You're a police sergeant. You're a grown man. 302 00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,187 Now take your nap. 303 00:14:14,729 --> 00:14:17,815 And if I see the lights on in here, I'm going to be very disappointed in you. 304 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:23,446 Are you the idiot that made a Friday night arrest? 305 00:14:23,529 --> 00:14:26,240 I was in the poconos with my wife. You ruined my entire weekend. 306 00:14:26,407 --> 00:14:29,118 Get in line, because that's their attitude. 307 00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:30,787 Get your own attitude! 308 00:14:30,870 --> 00:14:32,705 He has an alibi, geniuses. 309 00:14:32,997 --> 00:14:35,541 He was at torque. It's a nightclub in cape may, New Jersey. 310 00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,377 All night. Peralta: Nice try. 311 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:40,022 You think I'm gonna waste six hours driving to the Jersey shore and back, 312 00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:42,423 on some fake alibi? It's up to you. 313 00:14:42,507 --> 00:14:45,176 But in 10 hours, he walks. 314 00:14:47,011 --> 00:14:50,306 More like in 10 hours he walks into prison, 315 00:14:50,807 --> 00:14:52,141 when we bust him. 316 00:14:52,225 --> 00:14:53,393 Let's follow up on his alibi. 317 00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:55,269 Yep, you heard him, Scully. Hit the road. 318 00:14:55,353 --> 00:14:58,189 No. You should've looked into this before you made the arrest. 319 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,108 You go. Scully: Oh, captain, I'm happy to go. 320 00:15:00,191 --> 00:15:01,668 I love the salt water Taffy down there. 321 00:15:01,692 --> 00:15:03,170 Scully loves the salt water Taffy down there. 322 00:15:03,194 --> 00:15:04,404 No. Peralta is going. 323 00:15:04,487 --> 00:15:05,530 Go, peralta. 324 00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:06,989 Look, I know I caused this problem. 325 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:09,343 But I can fix it. We just got some new security footage in. 326 00:15:09,367 --> 00:15:10,868 Let me stay here and go through it. 327 00:15:10,952 --> 00:15:12,846 I'm gonna prove that Whitman was at the scene of the crime, 328 00:15:12,870 --> 00:15:14,539 even if it kills me. 329 00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:16,541 This is killing me. 330 00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:18,626 Good. Die. 331 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:21,546 You know, if it does come to that, 332 00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:24,799 I have but one wish before I go. 333 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:29,080 Can I please put your glasses on my penis? I just think that would be really funny. 334 00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,850 Hey, can you make copies of these warrant requests for me? 335 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:35,476 I'm not your secretary. 336 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,186 You're everyone's secretary. 337 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,855 That's literally your job. 338 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,357 And your job is lying about your taste buds? 339 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:44,277 I'm sorry about the whole pie blow-up thing. 340 00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:47,113 You're right, the flatbush diner pie is awful. 341 00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,073 Thank you. It's just... 342 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,160 I want Rosa to like me. 343 00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,203 All right, do whatever you want, 344 00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:58,040 but most women don't really like it when dudes lie to them. 345 00:15:59,041 --> 00:16:03,379 Except for me, but I'm wired to thrive on dysfunction. 346 00:16:05,381 --> 00:16:06,716 Nothing. 347 00:16:07,425 --> 00:16:08,885 Hey, wait, this guy. 348 00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,137 5'9 " or 5'10", black knit cap. 349 00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,389 Come on, come on, come on, got you! 350 00:16:13,890 --> 00:16:16,225 It's not him. 351 00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,937 Let's just arrest this guy. Who even cares anymore? 352 00:16:21,022 --> 00:16:24,525 So, how did my new best friend Luke take it when you canceled on him again? 353 00:16:25,276 --> 00:16:27,528 Don't know. Hasn't called me back. 354 00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,238 Which is what always happens, 355 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:31,949 because it's impossible to be a cop and date. 356 00:16:32,450 --> 00:16:35,411 Amy, look, there is a guy out there 357 00:16:35,578 --> 00:16:39,290 with incredibly low standards and a super-weird soul patch 358 00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,834 and he is waiting for you. 359 00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:45,463 Amy, my patch tingles for you. 360 00:16:46,088 --> 00:16:48,758 We will wed on the isle of New Jersey. 361 00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,968 Our first dance will be to Jessie's girl, 362 00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,471 because my name is definitely Jesse. 363 00:16:53,554 --> 00:16:55,097 Wssormnmflm. Hey, guys. 364 00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:58,351 Hey. Yeah, there's good news and there's bad news. 365 00:16:58,893 --> 00:17:01,854 The bad news is my salt water Taffy place was closed. 366 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:03,689 And the good news? 367 00:17:03,898 --> 00:17:05,399 Whitman's alibi checked out. 368 00:17:05,566 --> 00:17:08,027 Security footage from torque shows he was there. 369 00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,696 That's not good news. That's bad news. 370 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,907 Right. That is bad news. 371 00:17:13,366 --> 00:17:14,534 Sorry. It's on me. 372 00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:16,911 No, detective Scully, it's on peralta. 373 00:17:16,994 --> 00:17:19,997 No, captain, that's on Santiago. 374 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,708 It's on me. It's still on me. 375 00:17:24,919 --> 00:17:26,462 Jeffords: This is such a disaster. 376 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:29,048 It's not good. Da's furious. 377 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:32,110 Whitman and his lawyer are in my office right now, gunning for a lawsuit. 378 00:17:32,134 --> 00:17:33,469 No, not that. 379 00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:37,056 My brother-in-law is coming to have dinner with me on his way to jfk. 380 00:17:39,809 --> 00:17:44,272 But also, the botched investigation, that's bad, too. 381 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,693 Okay. What can I do? 382 00:17:48,776 --> 00:17:51,279 Oh, your services will not be necessary, 383 00:17:51,362 --> 00:17:53,531 because you need to go home and change for your date. 384 00:17:54,031 --> 00:17:55,658 What? I called handsome Luke. 385 00:17:55,741 --> 00:17:58,744 I explained the weekend was entirely my fault, partially, 386 00:17:58,828 --> 00:18:00,388 and he wants to go out with you tonight. 387 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:02,290 Thanks, peralta. You're welcome. 388 00:18:02,373 --> 00:18:05,143 Promise me you won't use the condoms in the secret pocket of your purse, okay? 389 00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,211 They're expired. How do you know what's in my purse? 390 00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:09,297 I needed concealer for a zit. 391 00:18:09,964 --> 00:18:12,174 Plus, you know, we spend so much time together here, 392 00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,093 I know everything about everyone. 393 00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,512 Hitchcock went bald at 15. 394 00:18:16,971 --> 00:18:19,015 Scully used to date Hitchcock's wife. 395 00:18:19,265 --> 00:18:21,642 Charles has a bike with a little basket on the front. 396 00:18:21,726 --> 00:18:23,078 How else would you carry baguettes? 397 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,688 And Rosa has a shower in her apartment, I think. 398 00:18:25,771 --> 00:18:27,607 I got nothing on her. Good. 399 00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:31,402 Well, I guess we did just spend 48 hours locked in here together. 400 00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,159 Holy crap. What? 401 00:18:38,284 --> 00:18:39,327 Locked in here together. 402 00:18:39,410 --> 00:18:42,580 So, we will be filing a wrongful arrest suit against the NYPD. 403 00:18:43,623 --> 00:18:46,417 And when iwin, I'm gonna buy club torque. 404 00:18:46,542 --> 00:18:49,062 Put a statue of Jake peralta right in the middle of the dance floor. 405 00:18:49,086 --> 00:18:51,213 First off, that's a terrible threat. 406 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:54,058 I would love to have a statue of myself in the middle of a dance club. 407 00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:55,384 Second_. 408 00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:58,148 Do me a favor. Take a look at this picture and tell me what you see. 409 00:18:58,721 --> 00:18:59,764 You and Regis philbin? 410 00:18:59,847 --> 00:19:01,057 Peralta: Awesome, right? 411 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,286 Surprisingly down-to-earth guy and definitely not the picture I meant to show you. 412 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:05,811 But, take a look at this. 413 00:19:05,936 --> 00:19:08,814 That's right. It's you and your old cell mate, Marcus Cole. 414 00:19:09,106 --> 00:19:12,109 And here he is again, outside the jewelry store. 415 00:19:12,276 --> 00:19:14,116 The two of you planned this together in prison. 416 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,405 You taught him your mo, he pulled off the robbery, 417 00:19:16,489 --> 00:19:19,241 you got yourself an alibi, and you split the loot. 418 00:19:19,617 --> 00:19:21,952 Oh, man! I can't believe he caught us! 419 00:19:22,453 --> 00:19:24,598 Of course he did! Peralta is the best! 420 00:19:24,622 --> 00:19:26,499 Ah, thanks, reege! That's enough. 421 00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:27,768 Yeah, I gotta work on my Regis. 422 00:19:27,792 --> 00:19:29,460 Anyway, see you in jail, Whitman! 423 00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,295 You got anything else to say? 424 00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,633 Hey, Rosa? The flatbush diner's pie is terrible. 425 00:19:35,716 --> 00:19:38,427 It's inedible. Food is supposed to be edible. 426 00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,513 So you were lying? What the hell, boyle? 427 00:19:40,638 --> 00:19:44,141 Put it in the suck-it bucket. 428 00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:49,063 Crust isn't any better. It's fancier, but it's all bells and whistles. 429 00:19:49,271 --> 00:19:51,691 Desserts don't need to be clever. 430 00:19:51,899 --> 00:19:53,609 They just need to be good. 431 00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:57,029 This is the best pie in New York City. 432 00:19:57,405 --> 00:20:01,826 Apple, from argos bakery, founded 1910. 433 00:20:02,243 --> 00:20:05,121 Recipe unchanged. Taste it! 434 00:20:09,625 --> 00:20:10,835 Damn it. This is amazing. 435 00:20:10,918 --> 00:20:12,670 This pie is so good I hate it. 436 00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:14,714 You just graduated pie school, bitches! 437 00:20:14,797 --> 00:20:17,091 Sorry I said bitches. I'm just really worked up. 438 00:20:17,174 --> 00:20:18,843 Gina: What is that? 439 00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:22,054 Sorry for screwing up everyone's weekend. 440 00:20:22,847 --> 00:20:25,641 Hey, uh, drinks on me. Who's in? 441 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:27,325 Oh, no way. I got a date. I gotta change. 442 00:20:27,351 --> 00:20:29,437 Come on. Everyone's tired, peralta. 443 00:20:29,603 --> 00:20:30,855 They just want to go home. 444 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:33,583 Yeah, but I have to prove I'm not selfish, so I don't care what they want. 445 00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:35,109 That sounded bad. 446 00:20:37,778 --> 00:20:41,365 And, to make up for what I did, I'll cover one shift, each for all of you. 447 00:20:41,449 --> 00:20:43,033 Vveh, good. Exceptsanfiago. 448 00:20:43,117 --> 00:20:44,952 What? I got you your date back. 449 00:20:45,035 --> 00:20:46,515 One nice thing from me is all you get. 450 00:20:48,122 --> 00:20:49,665 So, this is my desk. 451 00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:51,584 Deskjockey, huh? 452 00:20:51,792 --> 00:20:53,461 You just sit here, eat your pickles, 453 00:20:53,544 --> 00:20:55,629 wait for the criminals to turn themselves in? 454 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:57,506 Actually, I don't like pickles that much. 455 00:20:57,590 --> 00:20:58,883 Terry, I'm glad I found you. 456 00:20:58,966 --> 00:21:01,343 There's been a development in the Russian mob case. Oh? 457 00:21:01,427 --> 00:21:02,887 Yeah, our killer has been spotted 458 00:21:02,970 --> 00:21:04,305 in a warehouse down by the canal. 459 00:21:04,430 --> 00:21:05,431 Get your gear. 460 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,308 So you want me first through the door, sir? 461 00:21:07,391 --> 00:21:09,727 Oh, it's just you. The SWAT team is on another call. 462 00:21:09,810 --> 00:21:11,353 So, you'll have to do it alone. 463 00:21:12,605 --> 00:21:14,565 Hey, I'm not gonna be able to make dinner tonight. 464 00:21:14,607 --> 00:21:17,651 Hey, no. Do yourthing. Do your thing. Go, Terry. 465 00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:21,030 You can crash on my couch. 466 00:21:21,655 --> 00:21:24,200 I even downloaded you some whale songs. 467 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:26,619 Thank you, sir. I'll never forget it. 468 00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:31,791 Good night, Terry.