1
00:00:02,336 --> 00:00:04,546
Oh, this is amazing.
This is so amazing.

2
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:05,773
Everything about
this is amazing.

3
00:00:05,797 --> 00:00:06,877
What are you talking about?

4
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:09,551
A virus got on the server
and sent all of us an e-mail

5
00:00:09,635 --> 00:00:10,928
with everyone's
search histories.

6
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:12,179
Check this out.

7
00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:15,557
Sergeant jeffords searched the
Internet for "undiscovered muscle."

8
00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:19,186
I was working out and saw a muscle
in my shoulder I'd never seen before.

9
00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:21,206
I thought it might have
been a scientific discovery.

10
00:00:21,230 --> 00:00:22,231
Listen to this.

11
00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:25,526
Scully searched for, "how
much fudge is in a calorie?"

12
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:28,028
I never found the answer,
but it's a good question.

13
00:00:28,237 --> 00:00:30,072
Boyle looked up
"how to make desk yogurt."

14
00:00:30,155 --> 00:00:33,283
Yes, I did, and I am
thrilled with the results.

15
00:00:33,367 --> 00:00:35,244
Although the jar is really hot.

16
00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:36,453
That's gross.

17
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:40,082
And Amy searched for "Daniel
Craig hands plus close up."

18
00:00:40,165 --> 00:00:41,250
Ugh.

19
00:00:41,333 --> 00:00:44,670
You should talk. You searched
for "cheapest date possible."

20
00:00:44,753 --> 00:00:46,964
And iwear that search
like a badge of honor.

21
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,008
So, ready for dinner?
Here we go.

22
00:00:50,092 --> 00:00:51,343
(Grunts)

23
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:54,846
Would you like something
sweet or maybe savory?

24
00:00:55,264 --> 00:00:56,807
Apple pie... and I'm stuck.

25
00:00:57,599 --> 00:00:58,934
I'm stuck!

26
00:00:59,434 --> 00:01:01,436
(Theme music playing)

27
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,666
Peralta.

28
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,794
Hey, sal, to what
do I owe the honor?

29
00:01:27,254 --> 00:01:30,257
Oh, my god.
Yeah, we'll be right there.

30
00:01:31,049 --> 00:01:32,217
Boyle.

31
00:01:38,015 --> 00:01:39,683
I can't believe sal's is gone.

32
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,059
This place is an institution.

33
00:01:41,143 --> 00:01:42,728
It's the best pizza
in the neighborhood.

34
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:44,438
Well, eighth best.

35
00:01:45,147 --> 00:01:46,440
But, yeah, a tragedy.

36
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,609
I mean, any food-related
crime is a tragedy.

37
00:01:48,692 --> 00:01:50,235
(Siren blaring)

38
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:52,571
Oh, no. Heads up, fire Marshall.

39
00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,621
Boone.

40
00:02:01,163 --> 00:02:02,789
What's that nimrod doing here?

41
00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:04,333
Hey, peralta.

42
00:02:04,791 --> 00:02:07,586
Hey, Boone, what are you
doing here, you nimrod?

43
00:02:07,669 --> 00:02:09,004
Uh, there was a fire.

44
00:02:09,087 --> 00:02:11,089
The big question is,
what are you doing here?

45
00:02:11,173 --> 00:02:13,675
What, did somebody call in a
missing donut? (Chuckling)

46
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,510
Uh, actually, someone reported

47
00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:16,762
they couldn't find your head.

48
00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,555
Butwe found it.
It was up your butt.

49
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:19,640
You're a fireman.

50
00:02:19,723 --> 00:02:21,075
You should know
how to treat that burn.

51
00:02:21,099 --> 00:02:22,160
(Grunts) Boone: Joke's on you.

52
00:02:22,184 --> 00:02:23,393
'Cause this is a fire,

53
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:25,646
which means it is
fire departmentjurisdiction.

54
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:26,813
So, why don't you back off

55
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,690
and let New York's
bravest handle it?

56
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:30,126
You know they only
call you that because

57
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,234
"New York's best

58
00:02:31,318 --> 00:02:33,038
"at spraying stuff
with water" is too wordy.

59
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,213
(Chuckles)
Oh, well, it's too bad

60
00:02:34,237 --> 00:02:37,032
we all can't be as awesome
as New York's finest.

61
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,117
Which, by the way,
sounds like my mom

62
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:40,619
describing her dishware.

63
00:02:40,702 --> 00:02:43,330
Which... and she's dead, so
let's tread lightly on the response.

64
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:44,998
Yeah. That's not fair.

65
00:02:45,082 --> 00:02:46,559
Now, look, we heard this
might be arson,

66
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:47,918
so we wanted to check it out.

67
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:51,254
No, I... I'm not letting you
onto my crime scene. Okay?

68
00:02:52,756 --> 00:02:54,508
All right, fine. You know what?

69
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,843
You're not invited
to our next murder.

70
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:00,389
Good solve on the
Herman Avenue burglaries.

71
00:03:00,597 --> 00:03:02,317
Finish up the paperwork
as soon as possible.

72
00:03:02,391 --> 00:03:03,600
Your wish is my command.

73
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:06,061
No, that was actually a command.

74
00:03:06,144 --> 00:03:08,021
So, my command is your command.

75
00:03:08,105 --> 00:03:11,066
Well, then, I guess you still
have all three of your wishes.

76
00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:12,150
You're not a genie.

77
00:03:12,234 --> 00:03:14,319
I know that.
Okay, we're leaving.

78
00:03:16,530 --> 00:03:19,092
What was the name of the clerk we
questioned about the second burglary?

79
00:03:19,116 --> 00:03:20,242
"Where do farts go?"

80
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,994
I was reading Scully's searches.

81
00:03:23,078 --> 00:03:26,248
Hey, why did you do a search
for "magic-themed singles night"?

82
00:03:26,623 --> 00:03:29,384
My last four dates were really
boring, so I thought I'd mix things up.

83
00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,880
Oh, wow! (Laughs)

84
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:38,969
Ta-da. Oh, no.

85
00:03:39,386 --> 00:03:40,470
What about you?

86
00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,306
Why were you looking for real
estate in ropesburg, New Jersey?

87
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:46,226
Ropesburg pd offered me a
job as their new police captain.

88
00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:47,394
I turned it down.

89
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:51,481
Oh! You! Captain. (Chuckles)

90
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,610
That's super, super, cool.

91
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:06,389
Ifwe're going to figure out
what happened at sal's,

92
00:04:06,413 --> 00:04:07,724
we've got to
get past those firemen.

93
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:09,374
We need access.

94
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:10,625
How about this?

95
00:04:10,709 --> 00:04:12,228
We light a bunch of fires
throughout Brooklyn,

96
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,671
and when the firemen
go to fight the fires,

97
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:15,839
we walk right into sal's.

98
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:16,965
The crime scene is ours.

99
00:04:17,048 --> 00:04:19,277
Why would we want to start a
turf war with the fire department?

100
00:04:19,301 --> 00:04:20,945
I feel very uncomfortable
saying this to you,

101
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,239
but it doesn't seem like it's
worth it. Unless you think it is.

102
00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,473
I do. Like I said,

103
00:04:24,556 --> 00:04:27,236
sal's is an institution and it's the
best pizza in the neighborhood.

104
00:04:27,309 --> 00:04:29,603
I'm sorry, Jake. Sal's
is only the eighth best.

105
00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:32,814
I put out a weekly Brooklyn
pizza ranking e-mail blast.

106
00:04:32,898 --> 00:04:35,984
Sal's has the fourth best
texture, ninth best crust,

107
00:04:36,067 --> 00:04:39,321
12th best cheese, and honestly,
they're only seventh in mouth-feel.

108
00:04:39,571 --> 00:04:40,697
Mouth-feel? What is that?

109
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,467
The inside of your
cheeks are very sensitive.

110
00:04:42,491 --> 00:04:44,510
It's like the inside of your
thighs, except with a tongue.

111
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:47,913
Oh, god, look, no. Sal's
has a secret sauce recipe

112
00:04:47,996 --> 00:04:49,831
that puts all the other
pizza places to shame.

113
00:04:49,915 --> 00:04:52,501
But more importantly,
fire Marshall Boone

114
00:04:52,584 --> 00:04:55,086
is incapable of conducting
a crime investigation.

115
00:04:55,170 --> 00:04:56,922
All fire marshals are doofuses.

116
00:04:57,005 --> 00:04:59,216
But Boone is king doofus
of doofus island.

117
00:04:59,758 --> 00:05:00,884
Gasoline?

118
00:05:01,301 --> 00:05:02,552
I'm pretty sure that's water.

119
00:05:03,220 --> 00:05:04,429
Only one way to tell.

120
00:05:06,181 --> 00:05:08,058
There were more ways to tell.

121
00:05:08,767 --> 00:05:10,018
And he's their leader.

122
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:14,481
Captain, here's the mope who
hacked our computer system.

123
00:05:14,731 --> 00:05:17,317
His mother turned him in.
His name is Corey park.

124
00:05:17,400 --> 00:05:18,652
My name is savant.

125
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,529
His web handle is savant.

126
00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:22,906
His people name is Corey park.

127
00:05:22,989 --> 00:05:25,158
Why did you target us with
your computer virus, Corey?

128
00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:26,326
I don't know. I was bored

129
00:05:26,409 --> 00:05:28,495
and it was easy to break
into your weak-ass system.

130
00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,038
It was like taking
candy from a baby.

131
00:05:30,121 --> 00:05:31,456
Why are you giving candy

132
00:05:31,540 --> 00:05:32,916
to a baby in the first place?

133
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,335
Don't give candy to a baby.

134
00:05:35,752 --> 00:05:36,912
They can't brush their teeth.

135
00:05:36,962 --> 00:05:40,215
Yes, sergeant. It is
unwise to give babies candy.

136
00:05:40,924 --> 00:05:42,735
If it's so easy for this gentleman
to break into our system,

137
00:05:42,759 --> 00:05:45,011
we may need to hire
a new it director.

138
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,972
Why don't you and Gina
get together on that?

139
00:05:47,055 --> 00:05:48,682
I doubt I'll need Gina's help.

140
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,058
I'm sure she's busy anyway.

141
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:58,233
Use Gina, she's my assistant
and she has something to offer.

142
00:05:58,692 --> 00:05:59,734
Trust me.

143
00:06:01,236 --> 00:06:03,071
Man, don't be
hacking into my stuff.

144
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:05,448
Boyle: Uh-oh. Jake. Firemen.

145
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,200
What are you two doing here?

146
00:06:07,284 --> 00:06:09,369
You're a detective.
You detect it out.

147
00:06:09,452 --> 00:06:10,763
Good one, bro.
(Chuckles) I know, bro.

148
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:11,830
Yeah, bro.

149
00:06:11,913 --> 00:06:13,498
Wow, it's like
watching meet the press.

150
00:06:13,582 --> 00:06:14,583
Boone reconsidered.

151
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,683
He wants you to take
a look at the files.

152
00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:19,379
Oh, that's unexpected, but...

153
00:06:19,963 --> 00:06:21,006
All right, fine. I'll...

154
00:06:21,089 --> 00:06:22,924
(Laughs) It's not a file, bro.

155
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,235
It's a donut,
because you're cops.

156
00:06:24,259 --> 00:06:25,260
You sure?

157
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:30,265
All right. I don't care if it's not
ourjurisdiction. We're solving this.

158
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:32,309
Would you like me to,
uh, file that for you, Jake?

159
00:06:32,601 --> 00:06:33,828
Just ask for the donut, Scully.

160
00:06:33,852 --> 00:06:35,228
Can I have the
donut, please? Yes.

161
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,272
Thanks.

162
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:44,070
It's good to see you, sal.
I'm so sorry about the fire.

163
00:06:44,446 --> 00:06:46,615
I can't believe it's
gone, jakey, all of it.

164
00:06:46,907 --> 00:06:47,949
The pizza oven.

165
00:06:48,158 --> 00:06:49,826
The first dollar bill
I ever made.

166
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:51,661
The 7 up fridge.

167
00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:54,247
Hey, it's going to be
all right. You'll rebuild.

168
00:06:54,331 --> 00:06:56,411
The fire department's been
asking a lot of questions.

169
00:06:56,458 --> 00:06:58,376
Oh, fire department questions.
Let me guess.

170
00:06:58,460 --> 00:07:00,795
"Uh, what part of my face
do I put food in?

171
00:07:00,879 --> 00:07:03,423
"How do you count to one?
What's air?" (Chuckles)

172
00:07:03,715 --> 00:07:05,425
They think
I torched my own place.

173
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,862
You know I wouldn't do
something like that, right?

174
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,606
Yeah, of course, but can you think
of anybody who might have done it?

175
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,391
I can think of 10 pizzerias
that want me out of the game.

176
00:07:13,475 --> 00:07:15,393
Thatjerk Mario comes to mind.

177
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:16,686
We share a delivery radius.

178
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,689
Mario is number 10 overall
in Brooklyn, and rising fast.

179
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,083
He might have wanted
to move up the ladder.

180
00:07:21,107 --> 00:07:23,693
Of one foodie weirdo's
personal pizza e-mail blast?

181
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:25,028
Yeah.

182
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:26,529
Okay, we'll start with him.

183
00:07:26,613 --> 00:07:28,049
Then, we'll move on to
the rest of your competition,

184
00:07:28,073 --> 00:07:29,473
see if anything
suspicious turns up.

185
00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:32,535
It will be the perfect opportunity
to update my rankings.

186
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:33,888
Can we stop at home
for a pizza bib?

187
00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:35,163
No, Charles. We got to go fast.

188
00:07:35,246 --> 00:07:36,766
Right, right, I'll just
use my work bib.

189
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:37,791
No, no bib.

190
00:07:38,708 --> 00:07:40,460
We're going to solve
this for you, sal.

191
00:07:40,543 --> 00:07:41,878
Sit tight.

192
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:45,733
The guy who did the safe in the
second apartment, what was his name?

193
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:49,386
Cone. "C" as in captain,
"o" as in overlooked.

194
00:07:49,636 --> 00:07:51,554
What? Nothing.

195
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:53,765
She said "c" as in captain.
"O" as in over...

196
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,266
Yeah, I know how to spell cone.

197
00:07:55,350 --> 00:07:56,351
Okay.

198
00:07:57,185 --> 00:07:59,771
So, ropesburg pd.

199
00:08:00,230 --> 00:08:01,356
You know someone there?

200
00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,650
Nope. So, you were
loomngforanewjob?

201
00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:04,734
Nope.

202
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:09,239
Weird. They just offered you captain,
without considering anyone else?

203
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,368
Like Scully, because he's
got so many years on the force.

204
00:08:13,451 --> 00:08:16,491
Hey, guys, I think I put my gun in one
of these boxes and I don't know which.

205
00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,308
Do you have a problem with me
that you want to talk about?

206
00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:23,253
Me? No. I am just
filing evidence, sir.

207
00:08:23,962 --> 00:08:26,506
I found my gun.
It was in my holster.

208
00:08:27,132 --> 00:08:28,216
My holster is on my butt.

209
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:30,176
Good solve, Scully.

210
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:32,887
Mario, this pie needs work.

211
00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,463
Good consistency on the crust.

212
00:08:34,514 --> 00:08:36,558
But the cheese-to-sauce
ratio is a travesty.

213
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:38,685
(Spits)

214
00:08:38,977 --> 00:08:41,021
Do you have to spit?
In a word, yes.

215
00:08:41,104 --> 00:08:44,524
Amateurs go tasting, they fill up and
they lose their palate by the third slice.

216
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:46,109
I take this very seriously.

217
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:48,862
So, Mario, let me tell
you what I think happened.

218
00:08:48,945 --> 00:08:52,407
Your credit card transactions are
down by a third in the last six months.

219
00:08:52,782 --> 00:08:56,369
Meanwhile, over at sal's, there's a
bunch of smiling faces and happy stomachs.

220
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,872
One night you snapped.
A little gasoline.

221
00:08:58,955 --> 00:09:00,582
Fah! A little match.

222
00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:01,875
And poof!

223
00:09:01,958 --> 00:09:03,752
No more sal's. How right am I?

224
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,084
The night of the fire,
I was at my father's funeral.

225
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,339
Oh, my condolences.

226
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:14,262
Gino, this pizza is much
better than last time.

227
00:09:14,345 --> 00:09:17,474
You've always ranked dead last
in structural integrity and sauce.

228
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:20,685
But way more importantly,
I did a little research.

229
00:09:20,769 --> 00:09:23,521
And it turns out you did six
months in prison for b and e.

230
00:09:23,605 --> 00:09:24,606
I did.

231
00:09:24,689 --> 00:09:26,250
The night of the fire,
I was at the prison

232
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,484
giving a motivational speech

233
00:09:27,567 --> 00:09:29,486
on how parolees
can turn their lives around.

234
00:09:29,569 --> 00:09:32,363
Well, it's good to hear that the
system works. And you are welcome.

235
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:35,784
Have a good one.

236
00:09:36,284 --> 00:09:37,535
This is a dead end.

237
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:39,430
We've got to check
out that crime scene.

238
00:09:39,454 --> 00:09:40,789
Can't. Firemen locked it down.

239
00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,665
Grab your spit bucket, boyle.

240
00:09:42,749 --> 00:09:44,334
Those hose monkeys
can't stop us.

241
00:09:46,795 --> 00:09:49,130
Ah, you must be Simon Walker.

242
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:50,757
Have a seat.

243
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:54,385
It says here you were an it specialist
with the board of ed for 10 years.

244
00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,638
Well, I know my way around
a computer. That's for sure.

245
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:59,182
Query. What's your
favorite Jay-Z song?

246
00:09:59,516 --> 00:10:00,558
I'm sorry?

247
00:10:00,642 --> 00:10:02,685
Favorite Jay-Z song?
(Chuckles) She's kidding.

248
00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:05,105
(Laughs) No, I'm not.
What is it?

249
00:10:05,188 --> 00:10:06,189
I don't know.

250
00:10:06,272 --> 00:10:08,066
I'm sorry about her. Okay.

251
00:10:08,650 --> 00:10:10,485
What's your experience
with cyber-security?

252
00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,071
Uh, well, iadded, uh,
encryption software...

253
00:10:13,154 --> 00:10:14,924
But seriously, what's your
favorite Jay-Z song? I don't know.

254
00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,699
Big pimpin'. It's big pimpin'.

255
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,452
Mmm, wrong answer, friend.

256
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:21,621
And that's, um,

257
00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,248
how I got involved in,

258
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,125
you know, systems analysis.

259
00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:27,627
I'm sorry. I'm really nervous.

260
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,129
There's no need to be nervous.

261
00:10:29,754 --> 00:10:32,799
Yeah. We're all just
calm, cool, collected...

262
00:10:32,882 --> 00:10:33,883
(Screams)

263
00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,176
(Laughs)

264
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,138
Oops. Was that a little sudden?

265
00:10:39,305 --> 00:10:42,100
What would you say is your
biggest weakness as an employee?

266
00:10:44,394 --> 00:10:46,187
I'm sorry.
What was the question again?

267
00:10:46,271 --> 00:10:49,774
He said, "what's your biggest
weakness as an employee?"

268
00:10:50,024 --> 00:10:51,109
That's just gross.

269
00:10:51,192 --> 00:10:53,695
I'm sorry. I just have
a skootch of gingivitis.

270
00:10:53,778 --> 00:10:55,697
So, I'm trying to treat
that as best I can.

271
00:10:55,780 --> 00:10:57,198
Sorry, you seem disgusted.

272
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,960
Here's an itemized list of everything
taken from the garden apartment.

273
00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:04,080
"TV, computer, sterbeo."

274
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,541
Uh-oh, spelling error.

275
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:08,207
That's not very captain-y.

276
00:11:08,459 --> 00:11:10,170
Oh, my god. Enough!

277
00:11:10,753 --> 00:11:13,339
I just think that you
meant stereo, not sterbeo.

278
00:11:13,423 --> 00:11:15,550
Did you mean sterbeo... captain?

279
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:18,386
That's it. Get in my car, now!

280
00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:21,806
And if you say another word, I
promise you, you will regret it.

281
00:11:22,932 --> 00:11:23,933
Aye-aye, cap...

282
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,768
Ow! Okay, fine. I regret it.

283
00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,145
Ah, I'll go. I'm going.

284
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,856
(Sighs) These firemen
are not moving.

285
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:31,524
We've got to distract them.

286
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,669
Tell them your little boy's
cat got stuck up in a tree.

287
00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,778
Ooh, undercover work. I love it.

288
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:37,071
I need more back story.

289
00:11:37,155 --> 00:11:39,115
First off, can it be
my daughter's cat?

290
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,343
Okay, but if you get made
because of that, it's on you.

291
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,952
Fine, let's talk about the cat.

292
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:44,787
Short hair? Long hair? Tabby?

293
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:48,291
Short hair, calico, the son is
adopted, your wife is in a coma.

294
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:50,251
Oh, that's brutal. I like it.

295
00:11:52,629 --> 00:11:55,882
Hey, guys? Guys, I...
I really need your help.

296
00:11:56,216 --> 00:11:58,301
My little boy Brian, my angel...

297
00:11:58,384 --> 00:12:01,137
I bought him a shorthaired
calico after my wife fell into a coma.

298
00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:02,472
Motorcycle crash.

299
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:03,932
And now the cat's
stuck in a tree.

300
00:12:04,015 --> 00:12:06,601
He's a cute kid. Kind of
looks like you. Handsome guy.

301
00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:07,769
Handsome little guy.

302
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,772
Oh, hey, just got locked
out, so... he doesn't care.

303
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:12,857
(Grunts)

304
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,526
Brian was adopted, so he
has abandonment issues.

305
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:17,362
Just struck out
at t-ball last week.

306
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:18,725
Everyone called him
crying Brian.

307
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:22,492
Hello, peralta.

308
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:24,702
(Yells)

309
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:25,986
Are you looking for something?

310
00:12:26,037 --> 00:12:28,706
What is the deal with you and
this second-rate pizza joint?

311
00:12:28,790 --> 00:12:30,625
This place
is a Brooklyn institution.

312
00:12:30,708 --> 00:12:33,044
And I'm here because you
think sal did it and you're wrong!

313
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,128
He did do it.

314
00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,630
Sal was in financial trouble.

315
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,215
He has no alibi.

316
00:12:37,298 --> 00:12:40,635
And in cases of arson,
the owner always did it.

317
00:12:40,718 --> 00:12:42,178
(Clears throat)
What's going on, sir?

318
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:45,431
What's going on is that peralta
has screwed with me for the last time.

319
00:12:45,515 --> 00:12:46,808
And now he's going to pay.

320
00:12:46,891 --> 00:12:48,893
Oh, you know what, Boone?
Anytime you want a...

321
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,061
(Grunts)

322
00:12:50,144 --> 00:12:51,604
Oh! That escalated fast.

323
00:12:51,854 --> 00:12:52,855
(Groans)

324
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:54,649
(Grunts)

325
00:12:55,108 --> 00:12:57,277
They're getting nervous,
Jake. They're getting nervous.

326
00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:02,115
Get off him! Boone,
you big marshmallow!

327
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,367
Okay, break it up! Now!

328
00:13:04,450 --> 00:13:06,178
Hey, hey, hey. Don't
tell my guys what to do.

329
00:13:06,202 --> 00:13:07,962
Don't tell me what
to tell people what to do.

330
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,539
Well, make me
not do it, tough guy.

331
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,790
Uh-oh.

332
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,251
(Grunts)

333
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,752
Uniformed cop: Hey! Break it up!

334
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:22,302
I apologize, Marshall Boone,
for detective peralta's acfions.

335
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,425
It's something I find myself
doing quite frequently.

336
00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:25,972
In my defense,
I was the only one

337
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,348
saying we should stop hitting.

338
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:29,225
Stop hitting them!

339
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,311
Kicking them will hurt more!

340
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:35,732
Okay, I'm a reasonable man,
so I'm just going to say this.

341
00:13:36,149 --> 00:13:37,942
Fire peralta immediately!

342
00:13:38,276 --> 00:13:40,903
He started a fight, he
overstepped his jurisdiction.

343
00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:42,655
And he's obsessed
with this pizza place.

344
00:13:42,739 --> 00:13:45,325
What I'm obsessed with is how
you're bungling this investigation.

345
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:46,927
They should write
a song about it called

346
00:13:46,951 --> 00:13:48,202
welcome to the bungle.

347
00:13:48,703 --> 00:13:50,848
Seriously, why are you dragging
sal's pizza through the mud?

348
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:51,873
That place is special.

349
00:13:51,956 --> 00:13:52,957
Why is it special?

350
00:13:53,041 --> 00:13:54,685
Because it's the best pizza
in the neighborhood.

351
00:13:54,709 --> 00:13:56,669
Well... according to
Charles' e-mail blast,

352
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:57,833
it's actually number eight.

353
00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:58,963
The captain reads my blast.

354
00:13:59,047 --> 00:14:00,816
Of course, it's the only
one that measures mouth-feel.

355
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:01,900
What, are you kidding right now?

356
00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,343
This isn't about pizza.

357
00:14:03,426 --> 00:14:04,552
What's it actually about?

358
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:09,640
When I was a kid, I was
shortstop on my little league team.

359
00:14:09,891 --> 00:14:12,226
Oh, my god. Peralta:
It's the truth. It's not a brag.

360
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:16,356
My dad was the coach. And after every
game, he would take the team to sal's.

361
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,192
Halfway through our last
season, he left me and my mom.

362
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:23,029
And the worst part about it was that I
couldn't go with him to sal's anymore.

363
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:26,616
Well, that's certainly not what
I expected this to be about.

364
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,910
(Sobs) I'm sorry.

365
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:31,954
I'm sorry that happened to you.

366
00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,706
I mean, what kind of dad just...

367
00:14:33,790 --> 00:14:35,375
Just leaves his son like that?

368
00:14:37,043 --> 00:14:39,629
Look, you're a... you're a cop.

369
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,547
And... and I'm a firefighter.

370
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:44,634
But underneath all of it,
we're just

371
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:47,470
two boys whose
dads abandoned them.

372
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:52,225
And you and I, we're going to
solve this thing together. Okay?

373
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,393
Okay. Okay.

374
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,978
But first, let's hug like men.

375
00:14:56,062 --> 00:14:58,272
(Sobbing)
Oh, boy, this is happening.

376
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,859
Captain, you get in here.

377
00:15:03,486 --> 00:15:04,612
There, there.

378
00:15:05,071 --> 00:15:07,156
There, there. There.

379
00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:08,908
I'm coming in.

380
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:11,369
(Continues sobbing) Oh, boyle.

381
00:15:12,245 --> 00:15:14,622
What's going on? Did you
drive me out here to kill me?

382
00:15:14,705 --> 00:15:17,208
I thought about it. But then
I put that thought on hold.

383
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:18,907
I wanted to show you ropesburg.

384
00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,420
This is ropesburg?

385
00:15:20,878 --> 00:15:23,838
You wanted this offer so badly, I
thought I'd give you a chance at the job.

386
00:15:26,300 --> 00:15:28,261
Miss Diaz, are you
here to reconsider?

387
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,364
We've bought the deputies
bullets like you suggested.

388
00:15:30,388 --> 00:15:33,141
Hi, sergeant. No, I'm
still not interested...

389
00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:34,267
At all.

390
00:15:34,350 --> 00:15:35,590
But this is detective Santiago.

391
00:15:35,643 --> 00:15:37,186
She's one of our top detectives,

392
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,896
and she really wants the job.

393
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,357
I... (Chuckles) Yes.

394
00:15:42,191 --> 00:15:44,360
Can I ask what happened
to the last captain?

395
00:15:44,444 --> 00:15:46,164
He quit to start a carpet
cleaning business,

396
00:15:46,237 --> 00:15:47,798
because that was better
than being captain here,

397
00:15:47,822 --> 00:15:49,949
because this is the most
boring place on earth.

398
00:15:50,366 --> 00:15:52,952
(Laughs) She doesn't mean that.

399
00:15:53,286 --> 00:15:55,121
It's okay. It's true.

400
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,404
Got to be known for something.

401
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,210
So, of all the candidates
that you interviewed today,

402
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:02,545
who do you think I should hire?

403
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:05,506
Well, the interviews
got a little off-track.

404
00:16:06,048 --> 00:16:08,301
But I'd go with Simon Walker.

405
00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:09,469
Computer science degree,

406
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:10,863
worked for the board of ed
for 10 years.

407
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,430
That guy? No way.

408
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:13,723
He yelled at me

409
00:16:13,806 --> 00:16:16,486
when I asked him the same question
about Jay-Z three times in a row.

410
00:16:16,517 --> 00:16:17,518
Why does that matter?

411
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:21,063
Because whoever takes this itjob is
going to have to deal with Hitchcock

412
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:25,026
asking how to log into his
e-mail every single day, forever.

413
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:28,008
How do you think professor
short fuse is going to handle that?

414
00:16:28,154 --> 00:16:29,614
Jeffords: Fine.
What about this guy?

415
00:16:29,697 --> 00:16:32,617
No, he was scared of everything.

416
00:16:32,700 --> 00:16:35,578
Do you remember Rosa's
reaction last time the printerjammed?

417
00:16:41,167 --> 00:16:42,251
I'll pay for that.

418
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:45,630
Fine, what was
with the flossing?

419
00:16:45,713 --> 00:16:48,799
Mmm, a precinct is a pretty
gross place, ter-bear.

420
00:16:49,175 --> 00:16:51,719
There's blood,
wounds, Scully's feet.

421
00:16:52,220 --> 00:16:55,306
You need a strong stomach
and that lady did not have one.

422
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:58,351
Plus, we already have the
perfect candidate already.

423
00:16:58,434 --> 00:16:59,602
Savant

424
00:16:59,685 --> 00:17:00,937
that punk who hacked us?

425
00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,230
Precisely.

426
00:17:02,939 --> 00:17:06,776
Captain, turn your greatest
weakness into your greatest strength.

427
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,111
Like Paris Hilton, re
hersextape.

428
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:10,238
Get to the point.

429
00:17:10,321 --> 00:17:14,283
Savant tore our walls down,
but he can build them back up,

430
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,786
taller and thicker than ever.

431
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,955
But how can we be sure
he won't turn on us?

432
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:20,706
His mom ratted him out,

433
00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:23,209
so I bet he'd love
a steady paycheck

434
00:17:23,292 --> 00:17:25,052
to get out of that snitch's
house. (Chuckles)

435
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:28,673
If I had a mic right now,
I'd drop it.

436
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:32,885
(Laughs) There we have it.

437
00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,806
Here's the file you wanted.

438
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,434
Well, it's hard to believe
I'm going to say this

439
00:17:40,518 --> 00:17:42,103
because I've spent
most of my adult life

440
00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:43,813
hating you and
everything you stand for,

441
00:17:43,896 --> 00:17:45,606
but thanks.

442
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:47,316
I'm not going to lie. My, uh...

443
00:17:48,526 --> 00:17:50,278
Therapist is going
to be very proud of me.

444
00:17:50,361 --> 00:17:51,362
That's weird.

445
00:17:51,445 --> 00:17:52,714
Any reason you can
think of one of your guys

446
00:17:52,738 --> 00:17:55,259
would have forced this cabinet open
while they were putting the fire out?

447
00:17:55,283 --> 00:17:56,409
No, no. I can't.

448
00:17:57,034 --> 00:17:59,036
Looks like it was jimmied
open with a crowbar.

449
00:17:59,870 --> 00:18:02,456
Oh, my god. I know who did it.

450
00:18:02,832 --> 00:18:04,500
Come on. I'll explain it
on the way down.

451
00:18:04,584 --> 00:18:06,210
Wait, wait, wait.

452
00:18:06,669 --> 00:18:09,297
I can't believe I'm
offering this to a cop, but...

453
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,382
Do you want to take
the pole down?

454
00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:13,050
Oh, my god, yes.

455
00:18:13,134 --> 00:18:15,303
Whee!

456
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,722
Let justice be served.

457
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:18,806
Did you get it?

458
00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,224
Uh-huh, my turn? Nope, no time.

459
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:26,981
Whoo!

460
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,986
We know you burned
down sal's, gino.

461
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,196
You hated him because his
pizza was better than yours.

462
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:35,364
That's not true.

463
00:18:35,448 --> 00:18:37,283
Gino's pizza has
always been the tastiest.

464
00:18:37,366 --> 00:18:41,162
Wrong. According to boyle's e-mail
blast, it was downright lousy before.

465
00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:44,022
That's what made it so suspicious
when he suddenly loved it.

466
00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,959
(Distorted)
Much better than last time.

467
00:18:48,628 --> 00:18:51,714
The crust was charred, the
cheese was stringy and flavorless.

468
00:18:51,797 --> 00:18:54,842
But the sauce...
Oh. Madonna, the sauce.

469
00:18:55,384 --> 00:18:57,094
Confinue.
And that was your mistake.

470
00:18:57,511 --> 00:18:58,846
You didn't just burn sal's down.

471
00:18:58,929 --> 00:19:01,057
You also stole his
secret sauce recipe.

472
00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:04,894
Here's a picture of the cabinet
in which said recipe was held.

473
00:19:05,186 --> 00:19:07,396
Busted open with a
crowbar. Look familiar?

474
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,524
Also, your so-called
motivational speech

475
00:19:10,608 --> 00:19:12,568
down at the prison
ended at 5:00 pm,

476
00:19:12,652 --> 00:19:15,780
leaving you plenty of time to get
back to sal's and burn it to the ground.

477
00:19:16,113 --> 00:19:18,324
So, I guess there's
only one thing left to say.

478
00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,660
Both: Gino bianucci,
you're under arrest.

479
00:19:20,743 --> 00:19:21,970
Do you mind? (Clears
throat) Excuse me...

480
00:19:21,994 --> 00:19:24,830
Look, I can handle this. No.
This is my collar if I'm not wrong.

481
00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:26,916
Yeah, but I actually
did all the work.

482
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:28,759
See, I knew you would...
You know what? Fine.

483
00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:29,835
Go ahead. I don't care.

484
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:31,813
Gino bianucci, you're
under arrest for arson. Yes!

485
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,717
I said it first. Nice. Real
mature, very mature.

486
00:19:34,131 --> 00:19:35,299
Peralta: Off we go!

487
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,052
So, what did you
think of ropesburg?

488
00:19:39,595 --> 00:19:42,181
It's, uh... quaint.

489
00:19:42,473 --> 00:19:44,100
It's wack and you know it.

490
00:19:44,934 --> 00:19:46,977
Their number one
crime is tricycle theft.

491
00:19:47,478 --> 00:19:49,118
There's a bakery
attached to the precinct.

492
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,606
Come on, Santiago.

493
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,042
You never would have
taken that job,

494
00:19:52,066 --> 00:19:53,877
so why did you even care
that they offered it to me?

495
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,237
I can't help it.
I'm competitive.

496
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:59,073
I have seven brothers
and I was the only girl.

497
00:19:59,156 --> 00:20:01,158
I always had to fight
for a place at the table.

498
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:03,327
Well, you're not the only
girl at the table anymore.

499
00:20:03,911 --> 00:20:06,205
We work in a police
force full of dudes.

500
00:20:06,288 --> 00:20:07,848
We got to have
each other's backs, okay?

501
00:20:09,250 --> 00:20:10,310
You're saying you have my back?

502
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,502
Yeah, I got your back.

503
00:20:12,128 --> 00:20:13,448
Don't smile.
I'm still mad at you.

504
00:20:13,671 --> 00:20:14,898
I thought we were
having a moment.

505
00:20:14,922 --> 00:20:16,173
Moment's over, shut up.

506
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:20,553
Hey, sarge, he made
my computer smarter.

507
00:20:20,845 --> 00:20:22,656
All I have to do is put
my thumb on that thing,

508
00:20:22,680 --> 00:20:24,306
and it opens up
all my electric mails.

509
00:20:24,390 --> 00:20:27,101
(Laughs) You seem
real smart, man.

510
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,020
Oh, look,
and you play with toys.

511
00:20:30,104 --> 00:20:32,815
Savant, you're part
of the nine-nine now.

512
00:20:33,149 --> 00:20:34,275
We look after each other.

513
00:20:34,984 --> 00:20:38,738
Hey, ball, if savant was to do
anything to harm this precinct,

514
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:40,239
would I destroy him?

515
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:45,161
"Answer uncertain. Try again."

516
00:20:47,121 --> 00:20:49,165
Peralta, fire marshal! Boone
justcahed.

517
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,250
He told me you should
check your drawer.

518
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:55,212
Well, look at that.

519
00:20:57,047 --> 00:20:58,674
I've been booned.

520
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:00,342
Well, thejoke's on him.

521
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,786
Because I was
out of shaving cream.

522
00:21:02,178 --> 00:21:03,512
I see we are once again at war

523
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:04,722
with the fire department.

524
00:21:05,055 --> 00:21:06,182
You are not to retaliate.

525
00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:07,767
Oh, iwouldn't dream of it, sir.

526
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,728
In fact, I'm going to send
over a little peace offering.

527
00:21:10,811 --> 00:21:12,688
Some of sal's famous sauce.

528
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:13,856
Now, boyle!

529
00:21:13,939 --> 00:21:15,107
(Siren blaring)

530
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:18,152
Fire! Fire! Fire!

531
00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,797
(Laughing) Pleasure
working with you, Boone!

532
00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:22,198
Run, Charles!

533
00:21:22,490 --> 00:21:24,033
(Both laughing)

534
00:21:25,034 --> 00:21:26,160
Come on. Whoa!

535
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,328
Get that guy!