1 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:03,718 Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 2 00:00:03,840 --> 00:00:05,558 - We're getting married. - Did you know? 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,877 He couldn't imagine his life without me. Then he gave me this. 4 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:10,752 Ante up. 5 00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,348 You play for kittens? 6 00:00:13,480 --> 00:00:16,313 Have you spoken to Dawn about that incident at Hallowe'en? 7 00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:17,873 I thought you took care of that. 8 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,230 - Right. - What would I do without you? 9 00:00:20,360 --> 00:00:21,952 You are using too much magic. 10 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:24,548 What do you want me to do? Keep my mouth shut? 11 00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:25,829 That'd be a start. 12 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,315 Let's just forget it ever happened. 13 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:33,553 Forget. 14 00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:37,275 But I think I was in Heaven. I was torn out of there. 15 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,309 Pulled out by my friends. 16 00:01:03,200 --> 00:01:04,553 Can we talk? 17 00:01:04,680 --> 00:01:08,309 Vocal-cord-wise? Yes. With each other? No. 18 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:12,435 We have to talk. 19 00:01:12,560 --> 00:01:14,516 About what? 20 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:17,356 We kissed, Buffy. 21 00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:19,038 So? 22 00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:22,277 We... We kissed, you and me. 23 00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:27,030 All Gone With The Wind, with the rising music, and the rising... music. 24 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:29,435 - And what was that? - A spell? 25 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:31,516 Don't get all prim and proper on me. 26 00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:34,234 I know what kind of girl you really are. 27 00:01:35,360 --> 00:01:36,998 Don't I? 28 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,157 What we did is done. But I will never kiss you, Spike, 29 00:01:40,280 --> 00:01:43,238 never touch you, ever, ever again. 30 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:54,475 Now, easy, boys. No need to get physical, like. 31 00:01:56,360 --> 00:01:58,555 Is there, Mr Spike? 32 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,513 - You know this guy? - Yeah. What do you want? 33 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,074 Me? 34 00:02:04,200 --> 00:02:07,476 There are a lot of things I would like, Mr Spike. 35 00:02:08,640 --> 00:02:13,395 A house in Bel Air with a generously sized swimming pool. 36 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:17,958 And, of course, the 40 Siamese that you owe me. 37 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:22,153 - Take it easy. You'll get your kittens. - Oh, I trust you, Mr Spike. 38 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:24,157 Oh, God! What is it with you guys? 39 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:28,432 Why kittens? Why can't you just use money like everybody else? 40 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:32,553 - She's funny. I like "funny" in a girl. - I just need a little more time. 41 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:37,595 Time, time! Time is what turns kittens into cats. 42 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:41,476 Look, I don't wanna see anyone get hurt. Boys. 43 00:02:47,040 --> 00:02:49,634 Then you better close your eyes. 44 00:02:54,360 --> 00:02:56,271 I said she was the Slayer, boss. 45 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:59,153 Ah, good for you. 46 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:04,115 The Vampire Slayer! Have you ever given any thought to freelance work? 47 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,710 A little debt collecting, perhaps? 48 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,991 - No, thank you. - Boss, he's gone. 49 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:15,750 - Spike has split. - Well, that's what I get for socialising. 50 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:19,634 All right, come on, boys. We'll locate Mr Spike and... 51 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:22,909 talkto him a little more. 52 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,630 It was a genuine pleasure. 53 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:36,277 If I were to stop saving his life, it would simple things up so much. 54 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:36,239 Do you think she walked around on clouds wearing like... 55 00:04:36,374 --> 00:04:39,518 Birkenstocks and played a harp? 56 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:42,108 Cos those are just not flattering. 57 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:46,199 You know, the clonky sandals. Not a harp. 58 00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,595 Who doesn't look good with a harp? 59 00:04:53,320 --> 00:04:57,074 What? I'm just saying what everyone's thinking. Right, baby? 60 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,437 You are attractive with many good qualities. 61 00:05:01,560 --> 00:05:04,916 It's totally not stupid to wonder what it was like for Buffy. 62 00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:07,873 But it could have been one of a zillion heavenly dimensions. 63 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,436 All we know is that it was a good place and she was happy there. 64 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,836 We took her away from that. We wrecked it for her. 65 00:05:15,960 --> 00:05:18,315 We didn't wreck. We didn't know. 66 00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,355 We didn't wanna know. 67 00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:25,598 We were so selfish. Iwas so selfish. 68 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:30,028 Maybe we were. 69 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:34,711 I just feel weird feeling bad that my friend's not dead. It's too mind-boggling. 70 00:05:34,840 --> 00:05:37,593 So I've decided to simplify the whole thing. 71 00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:41,508 Me like Buffy. Buffy's alive. So me glad. 72 00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:46,353 Not to be Miss Psycho Pep Squad, but we must stop obsessing about what we did 73 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,199 and start trying to make things better for Buffy. 74 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,117 I'm with Miss Psycho Pep Squad. 75 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,913 We need to spend more time with her. Just hang out. 76 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:58,519 Maybe have weekly dinners over here. Or a book club. 77 00:05:58,640 --> 00:06:00,710 Short books. Videos. 78 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:03,070 I can fix it. I know a spell. 79 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:05,350 No! No more spells. 80 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:10,637 Then what? This isn't something that's gonna be fixed by a video club. 81 00:06:11,080 --> 00:06:14,822 I know I messed up, OK? And I wanna fix it. 82 00:06:14,857 --> 00:06:16,791 I can't believe we're talking about this again. 83 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:19,514 You know how powerful magic is, how dangerous. 84 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,995 You could hurt someone. You could hurt yourself. 85 00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:25,829 But I know a spell that will make her forget she was ever in Heaven. 86 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,757 What is wrong with you? 87 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,855 I'm gonna go get that phone you probably don't hear. 88 00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:32,635 High-pitched ring. Ears like a dog. 89 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,115 I'm gonna help you with that. 90 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,829 Do you think I'm stupid? 91 00:06:38,960 --> 00:06:41,872 I know you used that spell on me. 92 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:46,278 - Tara, I'm sorry. - Don't! Just... don't. 93 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,752 - There's nothing you can say. - Tara, I didn't mean to... 94 00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:54,236 To what? Violate my mind like that? 95 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,919 How could you, Willow? 96 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,918 How could you, after what Glory did to me? 97 00:07:02,240 --> 00:07:04,196 Violate you? 98 00:07:04,320 --> 00:07:06,595 I didn't mean anything like that. 99 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:11,316 I just wanted us not to fight any more. 100 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:14,557 - I love you. - If you don't wanna fight, you don't fight. 101 00:07:15,680 --> 00:07:18,035 You don't use magic to make a fight disappear. 102 00:07:18,160 --> 00:07:22,278 But I just wanted to make things better. Better for us. 103 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,676 But you don't get to decide what is better for us, Will. 104 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,997 We're in a relationship. We are supposed to decide together. 105 00:07:29,120 --> 00:07:31,156 OK. 106 00:07:31,280 --> 00:07:33,475 I realise I did it wrong. 107 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,194 You did it the way you're doing everything. 108 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:40,791 When things get rough, you don't even consider the options. 109 00:07:40,920 --> 00:07:43,388 You just... you just do a spell. 110 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,637 It's not good for you, Willow. 111 00:07:47,760 --> 00:07:49,830 And it's not what magic is for. 112 00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:53,353 But I just wanna help people. 113 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:57,029 Maybe that's how it started, but you're helping yourself now, 114 00:07:57,160 --> 00:08:00,232 fixing things to your liking. 115 00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:01,839 Including me. 116 00:08:01,960 --> 00:08:03,916 Tara, no! 117 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,150 I don't think this is gonna work. 118 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,436 It is. It's working. 119 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:24,590 Tara, please. 120 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,678 I need you, baby. I need you. 121 00:08:28,360 --> 00:08:31,272 I don't need magic. I don't. I... 122 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:36,554 Let me prove it to you, OK? I will go a month without doing any magic. 123 00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:39,831 I won't do a single spell. I swear. 124 00:08:44,280 --> 00:08:47,750 Go a week, one week without magic. 125 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,713 Fine. Fine. That's easy. 126 00:08:52,880 --> 00:08:54,950 Go a week, and then we'll see. 127 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:02,635 I don't know, I just think we both need some - I don't know - space? 128 00:09:05,560 --> 00:09:07,551 I can't believe I'm saying this. 129 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:10,319 Are you saying you're gonna leave me? 130 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,636 I have to. 131 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:24,073 You have to be strong. I'm trying to... 132 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:26,236 Trying to what? 133 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:31,229 Desert me? Abandon me? Leave me all alone when I really need somebody? 134 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,754 - I don't want to leave. - So don't. 135 00:09:37,920 --> 00:09:39,876 Please, don't. 136 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:43,878 - I can't do this without you. - You can. 137 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,956 That's why I'm going. 138 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:48,219 As long as I stay, you'll always turn to me... 139 00:09:48,220 --> 00:09:50,358 if something comes up that you feel you can't handle. 140 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,835 And I'll step in because... 141 00:09:55,040 --> 00:09:57,952 because I can't bear to see you suffer. 142 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:02,517 Me, too. Hate suffering. Had about as much of it as I can take. 143 00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:06,599 Believe me, I'm loath to cause you more, but this... 144 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,751 I taught you all I can about being the Slayer, 145 00:10:11,857 --> 00:10:14,632 and your mother taught you about life. 146 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:16,512 You... 147 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:21,075 You're not gonna trust that until you're forced to stand alone. 148 00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:25,910 But why now? Now that you know where I've been? What I'm going through? 149 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,679 Now more than ever. 150 00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:31,917 The temptation to give up will be overwhelming. I can't let... 151 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:35,191 So I won't. No giving up. 152 00:10:35,320 --> 00:10:38,118 You can be here and I can still be strong. 153 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:44,277 Buffy, I've thought this over and over. 154 00:10:47,280 --> 00:10:49,794 I believe it's the right thing to do. 155 00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,752 You're wrong. 156 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:05,314 Willow, come on. You ready? 157 00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,948 Not so much. You go ahead. Tell Giles to hold up. I'll be there in a sec. 158 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:11,992 Fine. 159 00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:15,874 Hurry up. You don't wanna miss the lowdown on our latest featured creature. 160 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,277 For Buffy and Tara, this I char. 161 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:47,430 Let Lethe's Bramble do its chore. 162 00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:50,074 Purge their minds of memories grim 163 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,794 of pains from recent slights and sins. 164 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:59,393 When the fire goes out, when the crystal turns black, the spell will be cast. 165 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:03,876 Tabula rasa. Tabula rasa. Tabula rasa. 166 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,432 - So what have we got? - Sorry? 167 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:19,476 What kind of oogly-booglies? Lizardy types or zombies or vampires, or what? 168 00:12:20,400 --> 00:12:22,595 There are no oogley-boogleys, Dawn. 169 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,720 Thanks for the jacket. It's cold out there. 170 00:12:26,840 --> 00:12:30,230 Not a problem. The cold only makes me stronger and more macho-like. 171 00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,956 I'm glad you're here. 172 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,389 I have something to tell you all. 173 00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:42,438 I know it feels like we've been through this before. 174 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:45,950 Why don't you just jump to the chase? Tell them that you're... 175 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,477 - Spike? - Holy moly! 176 00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,239 - You need to give me asylum. - I'll say. 177 00:12:54,360 --> 00:12:57,272 No need to get cute. It's a disguise. 178 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,718 Happens there's a bloke I'd rather not see just now. 179 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:06,878 You met him. Toothy bloke with baby-seal breath. Nasty fellow. 180 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:11,232 Ugly, too. A mouthful of choppers waiting to be yanked out and worn as necklaces. 181 00:13:19,480 --> 00:13:23,075 Well, now we've recovered from Spike's sartorial humour, 182 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,393 I'll jump to the chase. 183 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:33,236 I'm headed back to England. 184 00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:36,591 And I plan to stay. Indefinitely. 185 00:13:36,720 --> 00:13:41,874 Now? Not now. I mean, not after... everything. 186 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,992 - Yes, now. - For real this time? 187 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,380 Cos honest to Pete, a shopkeeper's heart can only take so much. 188 00:13:48,415 --> 00:13:49,398 Not that I want you to go. 189 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:53,229 I can't do this. I just... I need to... 190 00:13:53,560 --> 00:13:55,391 Buffy, listen. 191 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:59,831 I know this must be awful for you. 192 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,997 And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for... 193 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:05,350 "I'm sorry. " Everybody's sorry. 194 00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:11,035 I know that you guys are just trying to help, but it's too much. 195 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:14,113 And I can't take it any more. 196 00:14:15,640 --> 00:14:17,915 If you guys... 197 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,349 If you guys understood how it felt. 198 00:14:20,480 --> 00:14:22,675 How it feels. 199 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,995 It's like I'm dying. 200 00:15:36,720 --> 00:15:38,631 Hello? 201 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,950 Who are you people? 202 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,514 - Don't worry. - Please don't hurt me. 203 00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:56,393 It's OK. I don't know anyone here either. 204 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:00,877 Yeah? Who are you? 205 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,316 OK. Who are you freaks? 206 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,234 - You don't know me? - Not a clue. 207 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:12,476 But you were just all, like, "Oh, hey. " 208 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,319 Cos I thought you were a girl and I'd remember, but... 209 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:20,912 I am a girl. I'm not sure who I am exactly, but... 210 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,077 OK. Why was I on the ground? And why are you all staring at me? 211 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,279 Is this some psych test? Am I getting paid? 212 00:16:26,314 --> 00:16:28,352 It's not just you. 213 00:16:29,320 --> 00:16:31,914 Does anyone remember anything? 214 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,516 No. 215 00:16:34,640 --> 00:16:39,270 Well, maybe we all got terribly drunk, and this is some sort of blackout. 216 00:16:39,400 --> 00:16:43,154 - I don't think I drink. - I don't see any booze. 217 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,600 I don't feel any head bumps. 218 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:49,110 - I don't see Allen Funt. - Who? 219 00:16:49,240 --> 00:16:53,677 OK. I'm not panicking. I'm not. I'm not. Stop looking at me like I'm panicking. 220 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:57,156 Hey, take it easy, guy. OK. No one's hurt, right? 221 00:16:57,280 --> 00:17:02,638 And none of us look all hatchety-murdery, so we're probably safe here. 222 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,790 Wherever "here" is. 223 00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,434 Look at this stuff on these shelves. 224 00:17:08,560 --> 00:17:11,154 Weird jars of weird stuff. 225 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:16,870 Weird books with weird covers, like Magic for Beginners. 226 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,151 This is a magic shop. A real magic shop. 227 00:17:20,280 --> 00:17:23,272 Maybe that's it. Maybe something magic happened. 228 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:27,154 Magic? Magic's all balderdash and chicanery. 229 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,952 I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing. 230 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:34,390 Except I seem to be British, don't I? And a man. 231 00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:38,709 With glasses. Well, that narrows it down considerably. 232 00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:40,241 I don't like this. 233 00:17:40,262 --> 00:17:43,197 Don't worry. We'll take care of each other. 234 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:46,313 We'll get our memory back. It'll all be right as rain. 235 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,467 Listen to Mary Poppins! 236 00:17:48,485 --> 00:17:51,230 He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent. 237 00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,034 You Englishmen are always so... 238 00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:59,679 Bloody hell. Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks. 239 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:03,634 - Oh, God. I'm English. - Welcome to the nancy tribe. 240 00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:06,320 You don't suppose you and I... 241 00:18:06,440 --> 00:18:10,194 - We're not related, are we? - There is a ruggedly handsome resemblance. 242 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,394 And you do inspire a... 243 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:18,957 well, a particular feeling of familiarity and... 244 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,956 disappointment. 245 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,913 - Older brother? - Father. 246 00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:28,837 - Oh God, how I must hate you. - What did I do? 247 00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:31,633 There's always something. What's with the trollop? 248 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:32,715 - Hey! - Her? 249 00:18:32,840 --> 00:18:35,479 - I saw you. Sleeping together. - Resting together. 250 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,670 Look! 251 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,836 It's OK. We're engaged. 252 00:18:41,920 --> 00:18:43,717 - It's a lovely ring. - Great. 253 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:46,400 - A tarty stepmom, half old Daddy's age. - Tarty? 254 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,512 Old? You little twerp. I'm young enough to still get carded. 255 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,870 Carded! Driver's licences. 256 00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:00,117 It's me. "Alexander Harris. " 257 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,272 Cute picture. Hey, I exist. 258 00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:06,234 I'm Willow Rosenberg. Willow. Funny name. 259 00:19:06,360 --> 00:19:09,238 - I think it's pretty. - What d'you got? 260 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,238 Tara. And look, I'm a student at UC Sunnydale. 261 00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:15,158 Me, too. Hey, maybe we're study buddies. 262 00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:17,990 I don't have a wallet. 263 00:19:18,120 --> 00:19:20,429 Don't worry. Me neither. 264 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,796 But here, look. 265 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:26,629 - You're Dawn. - Or Umad. 266 00:19:26,760 --> 00:19:29,558 I'm called Rupert Giles. 267 00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,274 - Rupert. - Rupert! 268 00:19:34,160 --> 00:19:37,755 You're not too old to put across my knee, you know, sonny. 269 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,235 Anyway, what did I call you? 270 00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:47,515 "Made with care for Randy. " 271 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:50,877 Randy Giles? 272 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:54,675 Why not just call me "Horny" Giles, or "Desperate for a shag" Giles? 273 00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:59,715 - I knew there was a reason I hated you. - Randy's a family name, undoubtedly. 274 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,596 Hey, I have a name on my jacket. 275 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,839 - Harris. - Harris? That's my last name. 276 00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:09,838 Maybe I have a brother and you go out with him. 277 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,076 Or maybe you go out with me. 278 00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:17,718 We did wake up all snuggly-wuggly. Maybe you're my boyfriend. 279 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,229 Either that, or I got one pissed-off brother. 280 00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:24,273 I'm Anya! This key fits this lock. 281 00:20:24,400 --> 00:20:29,838 And the forms next to the cash register say that Rupert and Anya own the shop together. 282 00:20:29,960 --> 00:20:32,713 This is our magic shop? 283 00:20:32,840 --> 00:20:36,196 That's very progressive of me. 284 00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:39,793 - So you don't have a name? - Of course I do. 285 00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:44,150 - I just don't happen to know it. - You want me to name you? 286 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,238 That's sweet, but I think I can name myself. 287 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:51,319 I'll name me... Joan. 288 00:20:53,280 --> 00:20:56,636 What? Did you just "ugh" my name? 289 00:20:56,760 --> 00:20:58,910 No! I just... 290 00:20:59,400 --> 00:21:02,039 I mean, it's so blah. Joan? 291 00:21:02,160 --> 00:21:05,118 I like it. I feel like a Joan. 292 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:08,916 Fine. That's your purgative. 293 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:11,429 - Prerogative. - Whatever, Joan. 294 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:13,357 Whatever, Umad. 295 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,153 - Boy, you're a pain in the... - Boy, you're bossy. 296 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:18,635 - Do you think we're...? - Sisters? 297 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:23,276 You never showed me affection like that. 298 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,312 - I'd wager. - We need to figure out what's going on. 299 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,830 - We need to get help. - Looks like Joan fancies herself the boss. 300 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,235 - We have a kid here. - A teenager. 301 00:21:32,360 --> 00:21:36,911 A teenager. And we have no idea what's wrong with us. A hospital's our best bet. 302 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,358 Yes. Let's head out. 303 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:43,674 Any suggestions on how to get there? 304 00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:47,634 Dad can drive. He's bound to have some classic midlife-crisis transport. 305 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,069 Something red, shiny, shaped like a penis. 306 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,515 - Did you guys see that? - Vampires! 307 00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:59,596 - Maybe it's Hallowe'en. - Doesn't feel like it. 308 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:03,833 Even if it is, those guys are not kids, and those are definitely not costumes. 309 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:06,758 - Randy's right. We have vampires. - Slayer! 310 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:10,998 - They're definitely not knocking for candy. - We need to check for other doors, 311 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:14,351 make sure they're locked, then put large objects in front of 'em. 312 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,468 Monsters are real. Did we know this? 313 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:21,115 I don't know. But we need our memories back. We have to get to a hospital. 314 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:24,073 As proprietor of a magic shop, I propose we fight them. 315 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:28,159 We can use things in the shop. Magic tricks, or whatever they're called. 316 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,150 Send out Spike! 317 00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:34,156 They seem to want spikes. 318 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,280 - Here. Let's give 'em these. - Well done. 319 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:48,436 - What are they going to do with them? - Slayer, come out and play! 320 00:22:48,560 --> 00:22:51,518 "Slay her." That's just what they said before. 321 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:55,838 - They're gonna use the spikes to... - To slay someone? A female someone. 322 00:22:55,960 --> 00:23:00,272 - Who do those jerks think they are? - Bloodsuckers. They kill by sucking blood. 323 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:02,519 You guys. 324 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:05,794 There's a trap door. It seems to lead to the sewer. 325 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:07,273 Let's go! 326 00:23:16,760 --> 00:23:20,355 I'm not sure what I am, so bear with me. "Now I lay me down to sleep... " 327 00:23:20,480 --> 00:23:22,072 Shema Yisrael. 328 00:23:26,120 --> 00:23:30,033 - You owe us. - Fine. Take your damn spikes. 329 00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:34,551 - Don't be stupid. - Get your hands off me, you son of a... 330 00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:36,557 - I said, you owe us. - Who? Me? 331 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:39,240 - You've got the boss's kittens. - Kittens? 332 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:46,915 Hey! Stay away from Randy. 333 00:23:49,880 --> 00:23:52,633 - Whoa! - What did you just do? 334 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:59,589 I don't know. 335 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:02,109 But it was cool. 336 00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:05,994 The boss ain't gonna like this! I'll be back. And I won't be alone! 337 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,278 I think I know why Joan's the boss. 338 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,630 I'm like a superhero or something. 339 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:23,232 The boys wanna taste blood, boss. They wanna break down the door. 340 00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:25,669 The boys are barbarians. 341 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:30,590 There's no need to do that. The humans will turn on him soon enough. 342 00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:33,234 If they don't, we'll burn the place to the ground. 343 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:35,875 - OK. I've got a plan. - I'm all ears. 344 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:40,039 They seem to want Randy. And I seem to be pretty strong. Wicked strong. 345 00:24:40,160 --> 00:24:44,358 So, you go via the sewers to the hospital. Randy and I'll give the monsters a fight. 346 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,436 - That's your plan? - Yes. 347 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:47,515 Right. 348 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:52,475 I'm not leaving the shop. I have to protect the cash register and do some spells. 349 00:24:52,600 --> 00:24:55,068 Well, magic might help. It's worth a shot. 350 00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:59,159 All right. You work on that, then. We need to go. Ready, Randy? 351 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:01,714 - Ready, Joan. - Son? 352 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,957 Come here. Please. 353 00:25:10,280 --> 00:25:12,794 - Right. - Good, then. 354 00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,632 - Randy! - Hey! I'm a superhero, too! 355 00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:35,316 Joan, where are you going? 356 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,240 Joan! Wait up! 357 00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,638 Almost there. C'mon. There we go. 358 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,468 - There you go. - Thanks. 359 00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,112 This must be nice for us. 360 00:26:31,240 --> 00:26:33,037 Sorry? 361 00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:37,896 I mean, I know there's the vampire problem, and... 362 00:26:37,931 --> 00:26:39,395 our memory loss, and all that. 363 00:26:39,520 --> 00:26:42,830 But still, to spend this time together alone 364 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,835 must be nice. 365 00:26:46,720 --> 00:26:49,473 Yes, yes. I'm sure that's right. 366 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,036 Which book shall we start with? 367 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:57,790 - This is the book for us. - Good. 368 00:26:57,920 --> 00:27:01,117 Does it focus on mind control or memory loss? 369 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,629 Not exactly. I just... 370 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:07,389 My intuition tells me this is the book. I figure, being a magic-shop owner 371 00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:11,115 and a natural at the supernatural, I should trust my intuition. 372 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:15,709 That's fine. But as you recall, I, too, am a magic-shop owner. 373 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:20,235 True. But my intuition says that you're not so much the magic guy 374 00:27:20,360 --> 00:27:22,476 and more of a paperwork type. 375 00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,955 OK. Here we go. 376 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,793 - You don't even know... - "Bara bara himble gemination. " 377 00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,872 Wait up! 378 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:39,311 Bloody hell! What are you doing? 379 00:27:39,880 --> 00:27:42,155 You don't know who you are. 380 00:27:42,280 --> 00:27:45,636 - Right. None of us do. We're being chased... - You're a vampire. 381 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:49,349 How can you say...? 382 00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:52,836 - I? Me? A vampire? No. - Check the lumpies. And the teeth. 383 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,238 - I kill your kind. - And I bite yours. 384 00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:08,954 So how come I don't wanna bite you? 385 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:11,514 And why am I fightin' other vampires? 386 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,916 I must be a noble vampire, a good guy, 387 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:21,793 on a mission of redemption. 388 00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:25,151 I help the helpless. I'm a vampire with a soul. 389 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:27,796 A vampire with a soul? 390 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:29,956 Oh, my God! How lame is that? 391 00:28:30,080 --> 00:28:32,799 - Perhaps we should try another book. - No. 392 00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:36,515 This book made the little fluffers. This book's gonna send 'em back. 393 00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,676 I've got it this time, OK? 394 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:41,473 "Himble abri. Abri voyon. " 395 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:45,437 Yes, dear. 396 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:49,158 I'm a hero, really. I mean, to be cast such an ugly lot in life, 397 00:28:49,193 --> 00:28:50,575 and then to rise above it. 398 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,353 To seek out better, nobler things. It's inspirational. 399 00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:58,270 And the two of us, natural enemies, thrown together to fight the forces of darkness. 400 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:02,029 Utter trust. No thought of me biting you. No thought of you staking me. 401 00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,994 Depends on how long you keep on yapping. 402 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:22,075 Come on. This way. Up the ladder. 403 00:29:37,640 --> 00:29:39,596 He's coming. 404 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:58,395 Clearly that is not a helpful book, darling. 405 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,432 Come down and we will fix this in a sensible fashion! 406 00:30:01,560 --> 00:30:05,348 Sensible? Is it sensible for me to go down into that pit of cotton-top hell 407 00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:07,516 and let them hippity-hop over my flesh? 408 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:11,349 Fine. Then stay there and keep making bunnies! That's a capital plan! 409 00:30:11,480 --> 00:30:14,074 What capital? I never know what you're talking about. 410 00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,191 Loo, shag, brolly - what is all that? 411 00:30:16,320 --> 00:30:19,551 There's no way that you could remember me saying those words. 412 00:30:19,680 --> 00:30:21,238 Bugger off, you brolly! 413 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:33,399 Note to self: learn to duck. 414 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,838 Get a different book! 415 00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,916 Put that book down, do you hear? 416 00:31:06,040 --> 00:31:08,031 Not that book! 417 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,153 How you doing, Dawn? 418 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:19,953 I'm OK. It's scary. 419 00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:24,430 But, weirdly, kind of familiar. 420 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,395 I know what you mean. 421 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,796 How are you? 422 00:31:31,440 --> 00:31:37,310 A little confused. I mean, I'm all sweaty, and trapped, 423 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:41,194 no memory, hiding in a pipe from a vampire. 424 00:31:44,040 --> 00:31:46,429 And I think I'm kinda gay. 425 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:52,553 Look what you've done, you lunatic woman! 426 00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:58,073 Don't blame me, you snobby, snotty, thinks-he's-so-great kinda jerk. 427 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:00,760 I feel compelled to take some vengeance on you. 428 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,234 No wonder I'm leaving you. 429 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:06,759 What? 430 00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:10,839 Look. A one-way ticket to London and out of this engagement. 431 00:32:14,520 --> 00:32:17,080 Of all the nerve. 432 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:25,555 Now look at what you've done. That thing is gonna eat my ring. 433 00:32:29,760 --> 00:32:33,150 I smell fear. And it smells good. 434 00:32:56,440 --> 00:33:01,514 "Fatas... venga... mata... waray!" 435 00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,196 That's better. 436 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:24,589 Thank goodness. 437 00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,517 I'm so sorry, dear. 438 00:33:27,560 --> 00:33:30,154 No. Rupy, I'm sorry. 439 00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:34,799 You were right. That was the wrong book. 440 00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,311 Yes, it was. But I'm still sorry. 441 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,238 Don't leave me. 442 00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:47,313 Oh, Anya. 443 00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:04,116 Hey, big guy. Check out this throbbing jugular. 444 00:34:17,800 --> 00:34:19,153 Alex! 445 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,355 Don't mess with Joan the V... 446 00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:17,232 Buffy! Buffy! 447 00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,193 Sorry. I just got back the memory of seeing King Ralph. 448 00:35:50,880 --> 00:35:53,235 We should get back. 449 00:36:17,960 --> 00:36:21,236 - This place certainly needs a good tidying. - Oh, yes. 450 00:36:21,360 --> 00:36:23,555 Yes. Yes. 451 00:36:28,840 --> 00:36:32,230 From dust... to dust. 452 00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:37,478 You're an odd duck, Mr Spike. 453 00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:41,195 Fighting your own kind. Palling around with a slayer. 454 00:36:41,320 --> 00:36:43,470 And that suit! 455 00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:46,034 "Chutzpah" must be your middle name. 456 00:36:47,440 --> 00:36:52,389 Hey, look, about our little debt problem. It's OK. I don't need the kittens. 457 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,194 You'll get paid. I'm no welsher. 458 00:36:57,320 --> 00:37:01,279 Right. Sure. You're good for it. I know that. 459 00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:04,153 I'm just going to... Yeah. 460 00:37:14,080 --> 00:37:15,832 You all right?