1 00:00:00,980 --> 00:00:02,364 previously on californication.. 2 00:00:02,398 --> 00:00:04,149 I'd like to introduce you to Richard bates, the writer. 3 00:00:04,183 --> 00:00:05,484 big fan. 4 00:00:05,518 --> 00:00:07,953 who wants to see me tuck and do the pee pee dance? 5 00:00:07,987 --> 00:00:09,187 [laughs loudly] [growls] 6 00:00:09,205 --> 00:00:11,573 whoa! 7 00:00:11,624 --> 00:00:13,875 we're really gonna do this, sell the place? 8 00:00:13,910 --> 00:00:16,461 isn't that what we want? yeah, sure. I guess. 9 00:00:16,496 --> 00:00:18,297 I just want to be done with it already. 10 00:00:18,331 --> 00:00:19,865 I want to sell this fucking house 11 00:00:19,899 --> 00:00:21,249 And get on with the rest of my life. 12 00:00:21,301 --> 00:00:23,468 so what, you're saying just pack up and leave l.a.? 13 00:00:23,503 --> 00:00:25,420 The three of us move back to New York together? 14 00:00:25,471 --> 00:00:28,056 yeah, end of the semester, whatever. 15 00:00:28,091 --> 00:00:29,725 [crunches loudly] 16 00:00:29,759 --> 00:00:31,009 so which one are you sleeping with? 17 00:00:31,043 --> 00:00:32,177 excuse me? 18 00:00:32,211 --> 00:00:34,513 my bets are on the young, voluptuous student. 19 00:00:34,547 --> 00:00:36,982 this is so not fair. 20 00:00:37,016 --> 00:00:39,384 I'm in love with you, Hank Moody. 21 00:00:39,402 --> 00:00:40,736 ho-- 22 00:00:40,770 --> 00:00:42,938 I've never stepped outside of my marriage before. 23 00:00:42,989 --> 00:00:44,489 Please, go. 24 00:00:44,524 --> 00:00:45,524 Oh. 25 00:00:45,558 --> 00:00:46,742 oh, something must be different. 26 00:00:46,776 --> 00:00:48,610 Oh, that's right. you fucked my wife. 27 00:00:48,661 --> 00:00:49,894 well, there's that. 28 00:00:49,912 --> 00:00:51,279 what does that mean? it's not my fault. 29 00:00:51,331 --> 00:00:52,614 you didn't tell her? tell me what? 30 00:00:52,665 --> 00:00:54,700 Becca's father and i had a slight indiscretion. 31 00:00:54,734 --> 00:00:56,952 she's got to be kidding me, right? 32 00:00:57,003 --> 00:00:59,338 I don't want to hear about Felicia and her midlife crisis. 33 00:00:59,372 --> 00:01:01,590 wait, who else has he been fucking? 34 00:01:01,624 --> 00:01:02,624 you're a goddamn girl whisperer. 35 00:01:02,675 --> 00:01:03,925 Okay. 36 00:01:03,960 --> 00:01:05,927 I can't believe you slept with all of them. 37 00:01:05,962 --> 00:01:08,296 will you live? I'm trying. 38 00:01:08,348 --> 00:01:09,881 well, that's all anybody can ask for. 39 00:01:09,915 --> 00:01:11,433 Oh, hey, check this out. 40 00:01:11,467 --> 00:01:13,635 Yeah. 41 00:01:23,396 --> 00:01:25,313 [sighs] 42 00:01:25,365 --> 00:01:29,534 Lordy bagordy, we made some fucking love, woman. 43 00:01:29,569 --> 00:01:31,870 they should put us in the joy of sex-- 44 00:01:31,904 --> 00:01:34,206 A nice little pencil sketch of us doing it. 45 00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:35,374 We're that good. 46 00:01:35,408 --> 00:01:38,377 [laughs] who are you right now? 47 00:01:38,411 --> 00:01:41,380 I'm not sensing the same level of enthusiasm. 48 00:01:41,414 --> 00:01:44,549 oh, no. I--it was good. 49 00:01:44,584 --> 00:01:46,551 come to think of it, you weren't quite as vocal 50 00:01:46,586 --> 00:01:47,803 As you normally are. 51 00:01:47,837 --> 00:01:49,971 I mean, you've never been a screamer per se, 52 00:01:50,006 --> 00:01:53,392 But I can always count on you for a little intense moaning. 53 00:01:53,426 --> 00:01:54,976 [mimicking Karen's moaning] 54 00:01:55,011 --> 00:01:56,795 Hank, stop it. [mimicking continues] 55 00:01:56,813 --> 00:01:59,398 Thank you. Thank you for that. 56 00:01:59,432 --> 00:02:01,983 A woman does love a reenactment 57 00:02:02,018 --> 00:02:04,236 Of the most vulnerable moment. 58 00:02:04,270 --> 00:02:05,821 Oh, baby. 59 00:02:05,855 --> 00:02:08,023 But you got there, right? 60 00:02:09,692 --> 00:02:11,693 Close. 61 00:02:11,744 --> 00:02:14,496 Oh, I see what you're saying. It was, like, a tiny one. 62 00:02:14,530 --> 00:02:16,164 That happens. that's understandable. 63 00:02:16,199 --> 00:02:17,999 Not so much. 64 00:02:18,034 --> 00:02:19,918 What? Are you serious? 65 00:02:19,952 --> 00:02:21,837 You mean not even a little one, 66 00:02:21,871 --> 00:02:23,672 Like a micro-orgasm? no. 67 00:02:23,706 --> 00:02:26,208 Are you sure? Jesus, this is upsetting. 68 00:02:26,259 --> 00:02:28,844 the truth is, Hank, we've been through some-- 69 00:02:28,878 --> 00:02:31,213 We've been through some really hard times. 70 00:02:31,264 --> 00:02:32,681 I know that. so-- 71 00:02:32,715 --> 00:02:36,685 but we've always had our fire and our passion. 72 00:02:36,719 --> 00:02:39,688 Our beautiful sex organs don't know about our problems, 73 00:02:39,722 --> 00:02:41,523 And we should definitely keep them out of it. 74 00:02:41,557 --> 00:02:43,308 You got to give me another chance to please you, woman. 75 00:02:43,342 --> 00:02:44,643 no. no, no, no, no. 76 00:02:44,677 --> 00:02:46,111 We, we can't. it's too late. 77 00:02:46,145 --> 00:02:48,697 It's not gonna work. no, there's too much pressure. 78 00:02:48,731 --> 00:02:51,283 Ah! no, no, no. anyway, we have plans. 79 00:02:51,317 --> 00:02:53,869 it's Saturday. i can do this all day. 80 00:02:53,903 --> 00:02:55,871 Felicia. 81 00:02:55,905 --> 00:02:57,456 Felicia. your new friend. 82 00:02:57,490 --> 00:02:58,490 what? yes. 83 00:02:58,524 --> 00:02:59,825 no. she invited us for lunch. 84 00:02:59,859 --> 00:03:01,159 oh. I know. 85 00:03:01,193 --> 00:03:03,211 And I had to say yes, because-- no, you didn't. 86 00:03:03,246 --> 00:03:05,380 god, that woman is so annoying. 87 00:03:05,414 --> 00:03:06,915 She's so irritating. Argh! 88 00:03:06,966 --> 00:03:07,999 ooh, yeah, that's good. 89 00:03:08,033 --> 00:03:10,252 Like that, only louder and deeper. 90 00:03:10,303 --> 00:03:12,003 I can work with that. no, no, no, no, it's over. 91 00:03:12,037 --> 00:03:14,005 me love you long time. ah. it's over. 92 00:03:14,039 --> 00:03:15,340 I got to go. oh... 93 00:03:15,374 --> 00:03:16,508 I got to get ready. 94 00:03:16,542 --> 00:03:19,678 all right. just give me a moment... 95 00:03:19,712 --> 00:03:23,482 While I talk my testicles into descending. 96 00:03:23,516 --> 00:03:26,601 [faucet turns on] 97 00:03:26,652 --> 00:03:27,936 Guys? 98 00:03:27,987 --> 00:03:30,939 [upbeat music] 99 00:03:30,990 --> 00:03:38,997 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 100 00:04:12,899 --> 00:04:15,901 [woman laughing] 101 00:04:15,935 --> 00:04:18,537 wow. 102 00:04:18,571 --> 00:04:20,989 Looks like there's some kind of a book club or something. 103 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,624 of a sort. 104 00:04:22,658 --> 00:04:24,659 [indistinct chatter] 105 00:04:24,710 --> 00:04:25,994 Oh, dear. 106 00:04:26,045 --> 00:04:28,713 at least it won't be a dull Saturday afternoon. 107 00:04:28,748 --> 00:04:32,250 welcome. hello. come in. 108 00:04:32,284 --> 00:04:34,252 Oh, you shouldn't have. thank you. 109 00:04:34,286 --> 00:04:35,921 no, it is you who shouldn't have. 110 00:04:35,955 --> 00:04:38,006 This is quite a surprise. 111 00:04:38,057 --> 00:04:39,841 I think pleasure is the word you were looking for. 112 00:04:39,892 --> 00:04:41,343 or surprise. 113 00:04:41,394 --> 00:04:42,644 they all heard that I was having you over. 114 00:04:42,678 --> 00:04:44,679 guess the whole ya-ya sisterhood 115 00:04:44,730 --> 00:04:46,014 Had to get in on it, huh? 116 00:04:46,065 --> 00:04:48,183 yeah, well, we can't let you skip town 117 00:04:48,234 --> 00:04:49,601 Without a fond farewell. 118 00:04:49,635 --> 00:04:51,519 oh, yeah, our last class was very unsatisfying, 119 00:04:51,571 --> 00:04:53,188 Since you didn't teach us anything. 120 00:04:53,239 --> 00:04:55,023 Karen? this is Jill. 121 00:04:55,074 --> 00:04:57,659 She was Hank's teaching assistant this semester, 122 00:04:57,693 --> 00:04:59,494 And that's Jackie. 123 00:04:59,528 --> 00:05:01,363 Hey, Jackie. we--we met in class, right? 124 00:05:01,414 --> 00:05:03,582 we were all there-- in a way. 125 00:05:03,616 --> 00:05:05,450 why--why don't I come with you guys? 126 00:05:05,484 --> 00:05:07,953 We can hang out, try on some lip gloss, 127 00:05:07,987 --> 00:05:09,120 You know, sparkle? 128 00:05:09,154 --> 00:05:10,422 you made your bed. 129 00:05:10,456 --> 00:05:13,375 yeah, and now you're gonna have to lie in it. 130 00:05:13,426 --> 00:05:14,659 Have fun, Hank. 131 00:05:21,267 --> 00:05:25,003 wake the fuck up, Runkle. 132 00:05:25,021 --> 00:05:27,472 [exhales sharply] open house time. 133 00:05:27,506 --> 00:05:29,173 You know the house won't sell 134 00:05:29,191 --> 00:05:31,676 If we're within five miles of it. 135 00:05:31,694 --> 00:05:34,012 give me ten minutes, ten minutes. 136 00:05:34,030 --> 00:05:37,232 Come on! we got to jet. 137 00:05:37,283 --> 00:05:39,851 Buyers can smell our impending divorce 138 00:05:39,869 --> 00:05:41,319 From the freeway. 139 00:05:41,353 --> 00:05:44,022 coming! I'm coming. 140 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,790 oh, my god. oh, my god. oh, my god. 141 00:05:45,825 --> 00:05:48,243 oh, god, you really are coming. barf. 142 00:05:48,294 --> 00:05:49,828 I told you. 143 00:05:49,862 --> 00:05:50,912 And I told you. 144 00:05:50,963 --> 00:05:53,214 She never fucking listens, am I right? 145 00:05:56,969 --> 00:05:57,919 hi. 146 00:05:57,970 --> 00:05:59,304 Um, you must be Marcy. I'm-- 147 00:05:59,338 --> 00:06:01,640 getting your pants and getting the fuck out of my house. 148 00:06:01,674 --> 00:06:03,642 Now, please. thank you. 149 00:06:03,676 --> 00:06:06,227 There's a good girl. off you go. 150 00:06:06,262 --> 00:06:08,146 Yeah. 151 00:06:08,180 --> 00:06:10,765 I'll call you. [scoffs] 152 00:06:10,816 --> 00:06:13,068 Really? the floor, that's your move? 153 00:06:13,102 --> 00:06:14,402 you said not to mess up the bed 154 00:06:14,437 --> 00:06:15,553 If we're showing the house. 155 00:06:15,571 --> 00:06:17,022 Christ, Runkle! 156 00:06:17,056 --> 00:06:18,907 oh, I'm sorry she's not a coke-snorting teen idol 157 00:06:18,941 --> 00:06:20,659 Or a big black rapist. 158 00:06:20,693 --> 00:06:22,527 Not everyone can have class up the ass. 159 00:06:22,561 --> 00:06:25,697 no ass, just class. 160 00:06:29,201 --> 00:06:30,335 oh, my god. 161 00:06:30,369 --> 00:06:32,671 I could take the stubbornness, really I could, 162 00:06:32,705 --> 00:06:35,206 And the substance abuse and the lateness 163 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,459 And the "cooler than school and all the rest of us 164 00:06:37,510 --> 00:06:38,593 Ne'er do well" attitude, 165 00:06:38,627 --> 00:06:40,929 But the thing that absolutely got me 166 00:06:40,963 --> 00:06:44,265 Was the unwarranted advice about my biological clock. 167 00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:48,186 oh, but, you know, he's fully qualified to do that, 168 00:06:48,220 --> 00:06:50,105 Because he has such a deep understanding 169 00:06:50,139 --> 00:06:51,222 Of womanhood. 170 00:06:51,256 --> 00:06:52,857 shouldn't you be defending me? yes! 171 00:06:52,892 --> 00:06:54,642 you, talking up my good points? 172 00:06:54,694 --> 00:06:56,528 well, yeah, I will later. 173 00:06:56,562 --> 00:06:58,530 Right now I'm really enjoying 174 00:06:58,564 --> 00:07:02,033 This kind of appraisal of your little idiosyncrasies, 175 00:07:02,068 --> 00:07:04,619 You know, the things that I have grown to know 176 00:07:04,653 --> 00:07:06,121 And love about you. 177 00:07:06,155 --> 00:07:07,906 yeah, well, the cracks-- that's how the light gets in. 178 00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:09,791 more Pimm's, anyone? 179 00:07:09,825 --> 00:07:11,109 oh, yeah, hit me with that. 180 00:07:11,127 --> 00:07:13,161 You know, it's not an act-- this whole thing. 181 00:07:13,212 --> 00:07:15,630 I'm--I'm very sensitive to the pain and suffering of women. 182 00:07:15,664 --> 00:07:17,966 I listen to them. I'm aware of that shit. 183 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,335 Okay, yeah, that's true. yeah, thank you. 184 00:07:20,386 --> 00:07:22,754 in his defense, I must say that he paid me 185 00:07:22,788 --> 00:07:24,672 Tons of special attention in class. 186 00:07:24,724 --> 00:07:25,840 not special. 187 00:07:25,891 --> 00:07:28,259 no, Jackie. he did not. 188 00:07:28,293 --> 00:07:30,311 Jackie's writing's actually very good. 189 00:07:30,346 --> 00:07:32,147 I-I read some of her short stories, darling. 190 00:07:32,181 --> 00:07:33,848 you have. yeah, sure I have. 191 00:07:33,899 --> 00:07:35,400 I had to write her a recommendation 192 00:07:35,434 --> 00:07:36,818 To the graduate writing program. 193 00:07:36,852 --> 00:07:38,319 She couldn't very well ask you. 194 00:07:38,354 --> 00:07:40,655 Hey, when is luncheon gonna be served? 195 00:07:40,689 --> 00:07:42,323 That's why we're here, right? 196 00:07:42,358 --> 00:07:43,658 And I'm curious. 197 00:07:43,692 --> 00:07:45,827 I want to know how it's different from actual lunch. 198 00:07:45,861 --> 00:07:49,414 well, we have one last guest, who's a late arrival. 199 00:07:49,448 --> 00:07:50,832 Oh, here's the latecomer now. 200 00:07:50,866 --> 00:07:53,168 it's not a lady. please say not a lady. 201 00:07:53,202 --> 00:07:55,920 mm... oh, my-- 202 00:07:55,955 --> 00:07:57,872 Is that Richard bates? 203 00:07:57,923 --> 00:07:59,924 yeah, Richard bates, crack the sky, you know him? 204 00:07:59,959 --> 00:08:02,343 know him? yeah. 205 00:08:02,378 --> 00:08:04,045 Karen, is that you? 206 00:08:04,096 --> 00:08:05,346 Richard. 207 00:08:05,381 --> 00:08:08,299 oh, my god, you look exactly the same. 208 00:08:08,333 --> 00:08:10,635 exactly the same as what exactly? 209 00:08:10,669 --> 00:08:12,637 I mean, even more beautiful. my god. 210 00:08:12,671 --> 00:08:14,973 I can picture you right now standing under the arch 211 00:08:15,007 --> 00:08:17,776 In Washington square park, wind blowing your hair. 212 00:08:17,810 --> 00:08:19,944 and you blowing me off, you asshole. 213 00:08:19,979 --> 00:08:22,147 oh, asshole-- I like where this is going, 214 00:08:22,181 --> 00:08:23,948 Him being an asshole and all, 215 00:08:23,983 --> 00:08:27,035 But you want to fill me in on the--the rest of this shit? 216 00:08:27,069 --> 00:08:28,820 oh, my g--you gave me a "c." oh, please. 217 00:08:28,854 --> 00:08:30,538 I mean, like, when you sleep with your professor, 218 00:08:30,573 --> 00:08:33,208 Isn't that, like, you're meant to get a "b"? 219 00:08:33,242 --> 00:08:35,627 Hey, what, you slept with him? 220 00:08:35,661 --> 00:08:36,878 The glorious "Mangina" here? 221 00:08:36,912 --> 00:08:38,746 this is my professor that I had an affair with 222 00:08:38,798 --> 00:08:39,964 As an undergraduate. 223 00:08:39,999 --> 00:08:42,300 I mean, I know it's, like, 100 years ago. 224 00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:44,836 you know, it feels just like yesterday. 225 00:08:44,870 --> 00:08:46,004 worst day of my life. 226 00:08:46,038 --> 00:08:48,173 god, you look great. thank you. 227 00:08:48,207 --> 00:08:50,341 Well, you're not with bush league here, are you? 228 00:08:50,375 --> 00:08:51,593 oh-- fuck, yeah, she...is. 229 00:08:51,644 --> 00:08:55,180 well, kind of. really? 230 00:08:55,214 --> 00:08:56,981 what? 231 00:08:57,016 --> 00:08:59,517 No, do--don't keep secrets from the rest of the class. 232 00:08:59,551 --> 00:09:01,519 you planted the seed-- that writer thing, 233 00:09:01,553 --> 00:09:03,771 My attraction to writers. 234 00:09:03,823 --> 00:09:06,274 oh, hey, hey, hey. have a drink. 235 00:09:06,325 --> 00:09:07,609 [laughs] 236 00:09:07,660 --> 00:09:09,994 How'd you snag her, anyway-- 237 00:09:10,029 --> 00:09:12,080 The old "I'm an agent" spiel? 238 00:09:12,114 --> 00:09:15,033 Hey, it's not a spiel. I'm an agent. 239 00:09:15,067 --> 00:09:17,502 She has a dream, she's a waitress. 240 00:09:17,536 --> 00:09:19,537 in your language, waitress means stripper. 241 00:09:19,571 --> 00:09:20,705 She's a stripper. 242 00:09:20,739 --> 00:09:21,906 no, no, no. 243 00:09:21,924 --> 00:09:24,092 She is a cocktail waitress with a screenplay. 244 00:09:24,126 --> 00:09:26,127 [snorts] Okay, Okay. 245 00:09:26,178 --> 00:09:27,962 An idea for a screenplay. 246 00:09:28,013 --> 00:09:30,014 Still, I see potential, and I just-- 247 00:09:30,049 --> 00:09:32,550 oh, please. You see blow job. 248 00:09:32,584 --> 00:09:36,020 do I detect a note of jealousy? 249 00:09:36,055 --> 00:09:37,805 mm. 250 00:09:37,857 --> 00:09:40,475 Like I could be jealous of a food-service professional 251 00:09:40,526 --> 00:09:43,111 With an idea for a screenplay 252 00:09:43,145 --> 00:09:44,279 And her boobs. 253 00:09:44,313 --> 00:09:45,480 [laughs] You are. 254 00:09:45,531 --> 00:09:47,649 Marcy Runkle is jealous. 255 00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,317 I never thought I'd see the day. 256 00:09:49,368 --> 00:09:51,152 eh. go with god. 257 00:09:51,203 --> 00:09:53,621 I got mine. it's only right you get yours. 258 00:09:53,656 --> 00:09:57,325 Hey, Marcy, I have said all along 259 00:09:57,376 --> 00:09:59,827 I still love you. 260 00:09:59,879 --> 00:10:01,579 it's not what you say, Charlie. 261 00:10:01,613 --> 00:10:02,997 what do you mean? 262 00:10:03,048 --> 00:10:04,832 it's out of sight, out of mind. 263 00:10:04,884 --> 00:10:06,668 See Marcy, want Marcy. 264 00:10:06,719 --> 00:10:09,220 No see Marcy, want boobies. 265 00:10:09,255 --> 00:10:11,639 [cell phone ringtone plays Jessie's girl] 266 00:10:11,674 --> 00:10:13,791 really? still? 267 00:10:13,809 --> 00:10:16,460 Jesus fuck, I forgot to change my ringtone. 268 00:10:16,478 --> 00:10:17,628 please allow me. 269 00:10:17,646 --> 00:10:20,515 Eat my bent wang, Rick Springfield. 270 00:10:20,566 --> 00:10:23,017 wait, get that. it's Sharon. 271 00:10:23,068 --> 00:10:24,018 oh. 272 00:10:24,069 --> 00:10:26,487 Sharon. 273 00:10:26,522 --> 00:10:27,972 Mm-hmm. 274 00:10:27,990 --> 00:10:29,473 You're shitting me. 275 00:10:29,491 --> 00:10:30,858 Yeah. 276 00:10:30,910 --> 00:10:34,078 [cell phone beeps] 277 00:10:34,113 --> 00:10:35,246 We have an offer. 278 00:10:35,281 --> 00:10:38,199 oh! 279 00:10:38,250 --> 00:10:39,701 where were you off to when you dumped me? 280 00:10:39,752 --> 00:10:40,702 Was it Nepal? 281 00:10:40,753 --> 00:10:43,121 it was Egypt. 282 00:10:43,155 --> 00:10:45,373 You know, I etched your name in stone 283 00:10:45,424 --> 00:10:46,674 Atop the pyramid at Giza. 284 00:10:46,709 --> 00:10:49,010 I wish that were true. bullshit! 285 00:10:49,044 --> 00:10:50,094 [laughs] Jesus Christ. 286 00:10:50,129 --> 00:10:51,679 Staying home is very nice too. 287 00:10:51,714 --> 00:10:53,214 It's cozy. 288 00:10:53,265 --> 00:10:55,166 You don't need a passport, no shots. 289 00:10:55,184 --> 00:10:56,384 so overall you would recommend 290 00:10:56,435 --> 00:10:58,937 The experience of sleeping with your teacher? 291 00:10:58,971 --> 00:11:00,671 you see that? you see what you've gone and done? 292 00:11:00,689 --> 00:11:02,173 You've set a bad example, woman. 293 00:11:02,191 --> 00:11:03,441 you were just so sexy. 294 00:11:03,475 --> 00:11:05,026 you know, I can't exactly be judgmental, 295 00:11:05,060 --> 00:11:07,845 Because that is how I met Chelsea's father. 296 00:11:07,863 --> 00:11:09,513 I was in graduate school, 297 00:11:09,531 --> 00:11:12,533 And I took one of his ridiculous Civil War classes. 298 00:11:12,568 --> 00:11:13,684 Loved to teach, 299 00:11:13,702 --> 00:11:15,519 You know, so passionate about what he was doing. 300 00:11:15,537 --> 00:11:16,520 That's it. 301 00:11:16,538 --> 00:11:18,022 You were so passionate. 302 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:19,741 That--that's what turns me on. 303 00:11:19,792 --> 00:11:22,243 I just--the passion... yes, but that kind of passion, 304 00:11:22,294 --> 00:11:23,694 That burns you out. 305 00:11:23,712 --> 00:11:26,197 That kind of intensity, no bueno. 306 00:11:26,215 --> 00:11:28,082 Look at him. He's not burnt out. 307 00:11:28,133 --> 00:11:30,368 The man had a serious breakdown recently. 308 00:11:30,386 --> 00:11:34,422 Public nudity and singing. 309 00:11:34,473 --> 00:11:35,840 Smuggling Dr. Johnson. 310 00:11:35,874 --> 00:11:38,542 Oh, my poor love. I'm so sorry. 311 00:11:38,560 --> 00:11:39,560 Don't be. 312 00:11:39,595 --> 00:11:41,045 Truthfully, it was the best thing 313 00:11:41,063 --> 00:11:42,546 That's happened to me in years. 314 00:11:42,564 --> 00:11:44,382 For a man to be just broken down 315 00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,435 To his most naked, most vulnerable self. 316 00:11:47,486 --> 00:11:49,153 Mm-hmm. 317 00:11:49,188 --> 00:11:51,155 Just stripped of all irony, all vanity. 318 00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:52,774 I mean, I don't think I've ever been 319 00:11:52,825 --> 00:11:55,827 So deeply in touch with my feminine side. 320 00:11:55,861 --> 00:11:57,028 oh, my god, that's beautiful. 321 00:11:57,062 --> 00:11:58,562 no, it wasn't. it was queer. 322 00:11:58,580 --> 00:12:01,282 A-and not queer as in gay-- it was queer as in odd. 323 00:12:01,333 --> 00:12:02,950 Downright lunatic, as a matter of fact. 324 00:12:03,002 --> 00:12:05,670 And I had to step in for him at that point 325 00:12:05,704 --> 00:12:08,172 With my passion, my intensity, 326 00:12:08,207 --> 00:12:10,341 'cause I'm all about that stuff. 327 00:12:10,376 --> 00:12:11,793 yeah, the guy who once fell asleep 328 00:12:11,844 --> 00:12:13,761 During his own lecture. one time-- 329 00:12:13,796 --> 00:12:15,013 I did that one time. 330 00:12:15,047 --> 00:12:17,015 I was boring myself, and I thought 331 00:12:17,049 --> 00:12:19,750 It was an honest reaction to actually fall asleep. 332 00:12:19,768 --> 00:12:21,102 well, Moody, word on the street 333 00:12:21,136 --> 00:12:22,854 Is you couldn't teach your way out of a paper bag. 334 00:12:22,888 --> 00:12:24,772 where'd you hear that? 335 00:12:24,807 --> 00:12:26,557 oh, I may have lobbed a few random emails 336 00:12:26,591 --> 00:12:27,725 Here and there. 337 00:12:27,759 --> 00:12:29,477 Moody! 338 00:12:29,528 --> 00:12:30,645 [slams door] 339 00:12:30,696 --> 00:12:32,864 that sounds like Stacy. that's odd. 340 00:12:32,898 --> 00:12:36,317 justice will be served! 341 00:12:36,368 --> 00:12:37,785 [laughter] 342 00:12:37,820 --> 00:12:39,103 oh, dear. 343 00:12:39,121 --> 00:12:41,372 ladies. 344 00:12:41,407 --> 00:12:43,207 Moody. 345 00:12:43,242 --> 00:12:45,960 I demand satisfaction. 346 00:12:45,994 --> 00:12:49,630 well, General Sherman, nice of you to join us. 347 00:12:49,665 --> 00:12:51,549 William Tecumseh Sherman, no. 348 00:12:51,583 --> 00:12:53,885 Yet another sign of your blazing ignorance. 349 00:12:53,919 --> 00:12:56,721 No, Major General George Henry Thomas, 350 00:12:56,755 --> 00:12:59,557 Rock of Chickamuaga. oh. 351 00:12:59,591 --> 00:13:01,092 well, pleased to make your acquaintance. 352 00:13:01,126 --> 00:13:02,793 I don't know whether to shake your hand 353 00:13:02,811 --> 00:13:05,179 Or to-- your sword or-- 354 00:13:05,230 --> 00:13:06,814 the day of reckoning is at hand. 355 00:13:06,849 --> 00:13:08,733 It's time for you to answer for your sins. 356 00:13:08,767 --> 00:13:11,152 You and I will duel on this fine day... 357 00:13:11,186 --> 00:13:13,154 Like men! 358 00:13:13,188 --> 00:13:15,356 ah. Men of what century? 359 00:13:15,407 --> 00:13:17,308 dear god, he's completely blotto. 360 00:13:17,326 --> 00:13:19,160 how can you tell? 361 00:13:19,194 --> 00:13:21,162 he must have gone out drinking with those reenactment people. 362 00:13:21,196 --> 00:13:23,481 you mock me? guilty. 363 00:13:23,499 --> 00:13:25,750 I challenge you to a duel, and this is how you respond? 364 00:13:25,784 --> 00:13:27,668 personally, I love a good duel. 365 00:13:27,703 --> 00:13:29,670 [laughs] Bates! 366 00:13:29,705 --> 00:13:32,507 You're back and looking good. 367 00:13:32,541 --> 00:13:35,659 Let's go, Moody. you've defiled my wife. 368 00:13:35,677 --> 00:13:37,495 You've brought dishonor to this house, 369 00:13:37,513 --> 00:13:39,097 The university. 370 00:13:39,131 --> 00:13:40,214 I'll stand for it no more. 371 00:13:40,265 --> 00:13:43,334 And get your filthy car out of my driveway. 372 00:13:43,352 --> 00:13:44,352 Stacy. 373 00:13:44,386 --> 00:13:46,020 Stacy, you might want to rest up. 374 00:13:46,054 --> 00:13:47,838 Hank doesn't want to play these games. 375 00:13:47,856 --> 00:13:49,056 no, Hank don't want to play. 376 00:13:49,108 --> 00:13:50,508 they always lose, you see. 377 00:13:50,526 --> 00:13:52,360 The union army gets defeated at the battle of Chickamuaga, 378 00:13:52,394 --> 00:13:53,694 And then they go out drinking. 379 00:13:53,729 --> 00:13:55,196 he held until nightfall, 380 00:13:55,230 --> 00:13:57,698 Preventing an even greater union defeat. 381 00:13:57,733 --> 00:13:59,567 How? because General Thomas 382 00:13:59,618 --> 00:14:01,519 refused to surrender horseshoe ridge. 383 00:14:01,537 --> 00:14:03,488 Was he the flashiest Civil War general? 384 00:14:03,522 --> 00:14:05,323 No. 385 00:14:05,357 --> 00:14:07,208 Did he impress the ladies? 386 00:14:07,242 --> 00:14:08,326 Hmm? 387 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:09,860 Was he a highly functioning alcoholic 388 00:14:09,878 --> 00:14:12,213 Like Ulysses S. Grant? 389 00:14:12,247 --> 00:14:14,332 Maybe. 390 00:14:14,366 --> 00:14:16,501 [chuckles] 391 00:14:16,535 --> 00:14:18,753 you know, you might want to play along with him. 392 00:14:18,804 --> 00:14:19,921 what? 393 00:14:19,972 --> 00:14:22,423 And let him bust Civil War-era cap in my ass? 394 00:14:22,474 --> 00:14:23,641 I don't think so. 395 00:14:23,675 --> 00:14:25,176 no, no, no, no, they're harmless. 396 00:14:25,210 --> 00:14:27,011 They're--they're just blanks. you won't feel anything. 397 00:14:27,045 --> 00:14:29,096 [laughs] yes! 398 00:14:29,148 --> 00:14:30,314 general? 399 00:14:30,349 --> 00:14:32,266 I'll be waiting in the field of valor. 400 00:14:34,219 --> 00:14:37,321 For love and honor! 401 00:14:37,356 --> 00:14:38,990 it's really quite fun. 402 00:14:39,024 --> 00:14:41,442 [laughs] 403 00:14:41,493 --> 00:14:44,662 we're gonna sell this house. 404 00:14:45,914 --> 00:14:46,948 To moving on. 405 00:14:46,999 --> 00:14:49,116 and to my favorite roommate. 406 00:14:49,168 --> 00:14:50,501 aw. 407 00:14:50,536 --> 00:14:53,204 And just think, we don't have to be roommates anymore. 408 00:14:53,238 --> 00:14:55,039 You can fuck whoever you want, 409 00:14:55,073 --> 00:14:56,574 However you want. whoo! 410 00:14:56,592 --> 00:14:59,544 cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, downward facing dog, 411 00:14:59,578 --> 00:15:00,795 Whatevs. 412 00:15:00,846 --> 00:15:02,413 I think that's a yoga term. 413 00:15:02,431 --> 00:15:05,132 it is both a sex term and a yoga term. 414 00:15:05,184 --> 00:15:06,634 I learned that from Rick Springfield. 415 00:15:06,685 --> 00:15:09,604 please don't tell me any more. 416 00:15:09,638 --> 00:15:10,805 that's the beauty of it. 417 00:15:10,856 --> 00:15:13,307 I fuck who I want, you fuck who you want, 418 00:15:13,358 --> 00:15:15,860 And we don't have to discuss the details. 419 00:15:15,894 --> 00:15:17,311 I don't have to hear all your shit 420 00:15:17,362 --> 00:15:19,647 About your pieces of class up the ass. 421 00:15:19,698 --> 00:15:21,765 you know, not to go back on this, 422 00:15:21,783 --> 00:15:23,985 But you actually did offer me the ass one time, 423 00:15:24,036 --> 00:15:25,987 Right here in this very living room. 424 00:15:26,038 --> 00:15:27,371 what was I thinking? 425 00:15:27,406 --> 00:15:28,656 Dr. Drew says you could get 426 00:15:28,707 --> 00:15:30,608 A prolapsed anus from that shit. 427 00:15:30,626 --> 00:15:31,659 Ooh. 428 00:15:31,710 --> 00:15:33,711 Once you hit 80, your ass is like, 429 00:15:33,745 --> 00:15:35,830 "Why did you have to take it in the pooper that one time? 430 00:15:35,881 --> 00:15:38,499 Now you're gonna have to carry me around with you all day." 431 00:15:38,550 --> 00:15:41,719 Oh, oh, oh. and right over here, huh? 432 00:15:41,753 --> 00:15:43,721 The year that I got that UTK bonus, remember? 433 00:15:43,755 --> 00:15:46,807 I came in. I bent you over the couch and-- 434 00:15:46,842 --> 00:15:49,310 and gave me the worst back pain I've ever experienced. 435 00:15:49,344 --> 00:15:51,178 ha ha! 436 00:15:51,230 --> 00:15:53,014 For years, I had a man who liked to take it 437 00:15:53,065 --> 00:15:55,816 out of the comfortable bedroom, take it on the road. 438 00:15:55,851 --> 00:15:58,319 Great. [chuckles] that's right. 439 00:15:58,353 --> 00:16:00,655 Wow. 440 00:16:00,689 --> 00:16:03,574 We really have humped all over this house, haven't we? 441 00:16:03,609 --> 00:16:05,326 remember the kitchen-counter encounter? 442 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,978 best night of my life. not mine. 443 00:16:07,996 --> 00:16:11,482 Days later, I was still finding crumbs in my folds. 444 00:16:11,500 --> 00:16:13,200 what about the powder room? 445 00:16:13,252 --> 00:16:16,254 we never did it there. that's true. 446 00:16:16,288 --> 00:16:17,755 There's one room in this house 447 00:16:17,789 --> 00:16:20,124 That was spared our unholy alliance. 448 00:16:20,158 --> 00:16:21,342 Okay, let's go. 449 00:16:21,376 --> 00:16:23,044 Let's go, come on, come on. where? what? 450 00:16:23,095 --> 00:16:24,995 we can't leave one room uninitiated. 451 00:16:25,013 --> 00:16:26,213 Charlie, we're moving on. 452 00:16:26,265 --> 00:16:27,632 we cannot leave that room pristine, 453 00:16:27,666 --> 00:16:29,500 Because that would be a tragedy, and this is a happy day. 454 00:16:29,518 --> 00:16:30,501 Let's go. what? 455 00:16:30,519 --> 00:16:32,002 you move it, schoolgirl. no. 456 00:16:32,020 --> 00:16:33,337 you--come on, let's go. let's go. 457 00:16:33,355 --> 00:16:34,672 no, you can't tell me what to do. 458 00:16:34,690 --> 00:16:36,274 daddy's coming, yah-hah! 459 00:16:36,308 --> 00:16:37,858 you sure these aren't actually loaded? 460 00:16:37,893 --> 00:16:39,677 oh, just pick one, Moody. 461 00:16:39,695 --> 00:16:41,679 so ten paces and then turn? 462 00:16:41,697 --> 00:16:43,114 I don't believe I have ever met 463 00:16:43,148 --> 00:16:44,682 A bigger pussy in my life. 464 00:16:44,700 --> 00:16:46,734 You slept with the man's wife, didn't you? 465 00:16:46,785 --> 00:16:48,619 The code of honor demands it. 466 00:16:48,654 --> 00:16:50,454 what do you know about honor, 467 00:16:50,489 --> 00:16:51,956 You numb nuts? silence. 468 00:16:51,990 --> 00:16:54,024 I'll have none of that filthy talk on this field of valor. 469 00:16:54,042 --> 00:16:55,793 my bad. 470 00:16:55,827 --> 00:16:57,078 this is quite fun, Chels, isn't it? 471 00:16:57,129 --> 00:16:58,529 Reminds me of the good old days 472 00:16:58,547 --> 00:17:00,047 When we used to follow your father around 473 00:17:00,082 --> 00:17:01,532 From battlefield to battlefield. 474 00:17:01,550 --> 00:17:03,634 ladies... shh. 475 00:17:03,669 --> 00:17:06,053 come on. start your egos. 476 00:17:08,340 --> 00:17:11,041 Oh, for fuck's sake, Moody, stop fucking around. 477 00:17:11,059 --> 00:17:12,476 Come on! 478 00:17:12,511 --> 00:17:14,378 huh! 479 00:17:14,396 --> 00:17:17,148 come on, let's do this thing. 480 00:17:17,182 --> 00:17:18,733 come on. come on, let's go. 481 00:17:18,767 --> 00:17:20,434 there, stand there. 482 00:17:20,485 --> 00:17:21,902 I hope dad shoots him right in between the eyes. 483 00:17:21,937 --> 00:17:23,821 come on, Moody, you're not getting out of this one. 484 00:17:23,855 --> 00:17:26,857 I'll let that slide since this isn't a real duel. 485 00:17:26,891 --> 00:17:31,061 one, two, five, six... 486 00:17:31,079 --> 00:17:33,030 Nine, ten. 487 00:17:33,064 --> 00:17:34,615 [gun clicks] [Felicia yelps] 488 00:17:34,666 --> 00:17:36,784 oh, damn it to hell. 489 00:17:36,835 --> 00:17:38,902 Well, Moody, take your shot. 490 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:40,671 wait, you want me to shoot you? 491 00:17:40,706 --> 00:17:42,239 Nah, it's all right. I'm good. 492 00:17:42,257 --> 00:17:44,759 [gun clicks] ugh. 493 00:17:44,793 --> 00:17:46,744 Moody, I demand that you shoot me. 494 00:17:46,762 --> 00:17:47,762 oh, no can do. 495 00:17:47,796 --> 00:17:49,513 This whole thing is way too gay for me. 496 00:17:49,548 --> 00:17:51,248 hold on a second. [gun clicks] 497 00:17:51,266 --> 00:17:54,135 You fucked the man's wife, and now you refuse to shoot him? 498 00:17:54,186 --> 00:17:56,270 you know something, if it's all the same to you-- 499 00:17:56,304 --> 00:17:59,390 Aaah! 500 00:18:01,893 --> 00:18:04,278 is this what's supposed to happen? 501 00:18:04,312 --> 00:18:05,780 cool down, girls. 502 00:18:05,814 --> 00:18:07,448 Ahh. 503 00:18:07,482 --> 00:18:09,450 Ahh. 504 00:18:09,484 --> 00:18:11,202 well, I guess I deserved that. 505 00:18:13,155 --> 00:18:15,740 I'm sorry. I apologize. 506 00:18:15,774 --> 00:18:16,774 no biggie. 507 00:18:16,792 --> 00:18:19,460 no, it was ungentlemanly of me. 508 00:18:19,494 --> 00:18:22,880 The purpose of a duel is to fight with honor 509 00:18:22,914 --> 00:18:24,281 And decorum. 510 00:18:24,299 --> 00:18:26,801 ooh. [laughs] 511 00:18:26,835 --> 00:18:29,470 Nice one, dean. that was-- 512 00:18:29,504 --> 00:18:31,972 oh, you liked that, huh? yes, I did. 513 00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:33,974 well, you know something? you offend my honor. 514 00:18:34,009 --> 00:18:35,793 You offend my lady's honor. 515 00:18:35,811 --> 00:18:36,844 your lady? 516 00:18:36,895 --> 00:18:38,896 Are you so sure she's really yours? 517 00:18:38,930 --> 00:18:41,465 Shit, Moody, you couldn't own a woman like that. 518 00:18:41,483 --> 00:18:43,567 Christ, I still remember the sound 519 00:18:43,602 --> 00:18:45,486 Of her approaching climax-- 520 00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:47,805 Fucking choir of angels. 521 00:18:47,823 --> 00:18:50,191 ooh! 522 00:18:50,242 --> 00:18:53,160 [all grunting] 523 00:18:53,195 --> 00:18:54,812 that's my ass! 524 00:18:54,830 --> 00:18:58,482 I can't tell if they're joking or not. 525 00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:00,785 [shouting indistinctly] 526 00:19:00,819 --> 00:19:02,152 Got him! 527 00:19:02,170 --> 00:19:04,505 oh, god, I think they're actually fighting. 528 00:19:04,539 --> 00:19:06,490 can I take you up on that drink? 529 00:19:06,508 --> 00:19:07,491 [laughs] 530 00:19:07,509 --> 00:19:09,210 [laughing] 531 00:19:09,261 --> 00:19:12,930 [moaning] [growling] 532 00:19:12,964 --> 00:19:14,799 fuck your pussy. fuck your pussy. 533 00:19:14,833 --> 00:19:15,883 fuck my pussy? 534 00:19:15,934 --> 00:19:17,885 Or your pussy is my pussy, or-- 535 00:19:17,936 --> 00:19:20,104 shut up and pound me. Okay. 536 00:19:20,138 --> 00:19:23,691 [both grunting] 537 00:19:23,725 --> 00:19:24,775 [loud crash] 538 00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:27,144 oh, shit! ow! oh, my back. 539 00:19:27,178 --> 00:19:29,847 Oh! holy mother of fuck! 540 00:19:29,865 --> 00:19:31,699 ow. help, help. 541 00:19:31,733 --> 00:19:33,350 why did I let you sit on the sink? 542 00:19:33,368 --> 00:19:35,152 The chick is supposed to sit on the sink. 543 00:19:35,186 --> 00:19:37,187 That's bathroom boning 101! 544 00:19:37,205 --> 00:19:39,240 I can't move, I'm fucking drowning here. 545 00:19:39,291 --> 00:19:41,208 you're drowning, really? 546 00:19:41,243 --> 00:19:42,710 yeah, a person can drown in this amount of water 547 00:19:42,744 --> 00:19:43,878 In certain circumstances. 548 00:19:43,912 --> 00:19:46,464 oh, god. oh, ow! 549 00:19:46,498 --> 00:19:48,749 Ow! Okay, you big baby. 550 00:19:48,800 --> 00:19:50,885 Okay. ow, oh! 551 00:19:50,919 --> 00:19:52,136 get over here. oh. 552 00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:53,637 Okay. 553 00:19:53,672 --> 00:19:56,173 Okay, climbing the toilet bowl. 554 00:19:56,207 --> 00:19:57,541 oh, fuck. 555 00:19:57,559 --> 00:20:00,644 we're almost home. sit, sit. 556 00:20:00,679 --> 00:20:02,346 [groaning] 557 00:20:02,380 --> 00:20:03,380 wait. 558 00:20:03,398 --> 00:20:05,850 What the fuck is that? 559 00:20:05,884 --> 00:20:08,519 You had my name tattooed above your ass crack? 560 00:20:08,553 --> 00:20:09,854 oh, Jesus, I was drunk. 561 00:20:09,888 --> 00:20:11,772 I don't even remember getting it done. 562 00:20:11,823 --> 00:20:12,940 [gasps] Charlie. 563 00:20:12,991 --> 00:20:14,742 what? I'm getting it removed. I am. 564 00:20:14,776 --> 00:20:17,244 no, you're not. what? 565 00:20:17,279 --> 00:20:18,612 You like it? 566 00:20:18,663 --> 00:20:20,781 no, I don't like it. it's fucking retarded. 567 00:20:20,832 --> 00:20:22,032 ow. 568 00:20:22,066 --> 00:20:24,702 retarded and sweet... 569 00:20:24,736 --> 00:20:26,203 Just like you, Runkle. 570 00:20:26,237 --> 00:20:28,506 ow. ow. 571 00:20:28,540 --> 00:20:31,074 Ow. 572 00:20:31,092 --> 00:20:35,078 I guess I'd better take my walking wounded home, right? 573 00:20:35,096 --> 00:20:38,432 That's if he ever comes out of the bathroom. 574 00:20:38,466 --> 00:20:40,050 Are you--are you Okay 575 00:20:40,084 --> 00:20:42,186 With, uh, Becca spending the night? 576 00:20:42,220 --> 00:20:43,220 oh, yeah. 577 00:20:43,254 --> 00:20:44,722 Yeah, of course. it's no problem. 578 00:20:44,756 --> 00:20:45,890 You know, it's nice for the girls 579 00:20:45,924 --> 00:20:48,142 To spend one last sleepover together 580 00:20:48,193 --> 00:20:50,144 Before Becca leaves for New York. 581 00:20:50,195 --> 00:20:51,195 right. 582 00:20:51,229 --> 00:20:52,730 good luck with that, by the way. 583 00:20:52,764 --> 00:20:54,648 thank you. 584 00:20:54,699 --> 00:20:55,933 [toilet flushing] 585 00:20:55,951 --> 00:20:57,535 Are you always so civilized? 586 00:20:57,569 --> 00:20:59,203 [laughs] 587 00:20:59,237 --> 00:21:00,371 Well, the wife of a general 588 00:21:00,405 --> 00:21:02,156 Has certain responsibilities, you know? 589 00:21:02,207 --> 00:21:03,941 of course. uh-huh. 590 00:21:03,959 --> 00:21:06,160 well... 591 00:21:06,211 --> 00:21:08,829 I'll never be as pretty as I once was. 592 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:10,164 And I'm peeing blood. 593 00:21:10,215 --> 00:21:12,716 I got myself more of a foot soldier-- 594 00:21:12,751 --> 00:21:15,636 Some cannon fodder, really. 595 00:21:15,670 --> 00:21:18,172 what did I miss? 596 00:21:18,223 --> 00:21:19,957 [laughs] what did I miss? 597 00:21:19,975 --> 00:21:23,344 ah, look at that. 598 00:21:23,395 --> 00:21:27,681 One semester ends, another begins. 599 00:21:27,732 --> 00:21:30,017 you gonna do something about that? 600 00:21:30,068 --> 00:21:31,852 what's the point, you know? 601 00:21:31,903 --> 00:21:33,520 Nothing ever really changes around here. 602 00:21:33,572 --> 00:21:35,305 That's the beautiful thing about academia. 603 00:21:35,323 --> 00:21:37,992 None of us can really function in the real world, 604 00:21:38,026 --> 00:21:39,743 So that's why we end up here. 605 00:21:39,778 --> 00:21:41,412 It sort of works for everyone, really. 606 00:21:41,446 --> 00:21:42,613 mm-hmm. 607 00:21:42,647 --> 00:21:44,949 we can't function anywhere else but here. 608 00:21:44,983 --> 00:21:46,867 [imitating Felicia] hmm. you can't. 609 00:21:46,918 --> 00:21:48,669 No, you can't. ignore him. 610 00:21:48,703 --> 00:21:50,537 what's he saying? 611 00:21:50,589 --> 00:21:53,374 Okay, I'm gonna go say good night to Richard. 612 00:21:53,425 --> 00:21:55,542 no, you can't. 613 00:21:55,594 --> 00:21:57,044 [normal voice] go. I'm timing you. 614 00:21:57,095 --> 00:21:58,879 thank you for lunch. 615 00:21:58,930 --> 00:22:00,497 well, I hope we didn't give you 616 00:22:00,515 --> 00:22:01,882 Too hard a time of it today. 617 00:22:01,933 --> 00:22:03,834 no, no worries. I'm fine. 618 00:22:03,852 --> 00:22:06,837 My ass is a little sore, but that's normal for me. 619 00:22:06,855 --> 00:22:08,555 it's all done with great affection. 620 00:22:08,607 --> 00:22:10,507 You know, you're such a mess, and you cause such chaos, 621 00:22:10,525 --> 00:22:12,009 But I wouldn't change anything. 622 00:22:12,027 --> 00:22:13,777 you sure about that? really, truly. 623 00:22:13,812 --> 00:22:16,847 It was a fabulous disaster. hmm. 624 00:22:16,865 --> 00:22:18,515 come here. be happy in New York. 625 00:22:18,533 --> 00:22:19,683 oh, there you go. 626 00:22:19,701 --> 00:22:20,734 What about general Sherman? 627 00:22:20,785 --> 00:22:21,869 You gonna let him back in the house? 628 00:22:21,903 --> 00:22:23,070 'cause if you don't, 629 00:22:23,121 --> 00:22:24,688 I think he's gonna call in reinforcements-- 630 00:22:24,706 --> 00:22:25,956 The cavalry, perhaps. 631 00:22:25,991 --> 00:22:27,524 mm, he does seem very determined. 632 00:22:27,542 --> 00:22:28,525 yeah. 633 00:22:28,543 --> 00:22:30,527 Passionate, one might say. 634 00:22:30,545 --> 00:22:33,030 oh, I do like that in a man. 635 00:22:33,048 --> 00:22:35,866 Felicia, I'm in a fever! 636 00:22:35,884 --> 00:22:37,868 I better go tend to the general. 637 00:22:37,886 --> 00:22:39,369 Toodle-loo. toodle-loo. 638 00:22:39,387 --> 00:22:41,705 my brow! 639 00:22:43,425 --> 00:22:45,042 did you ladies have fun 640 00:22:45,060 --> 00:22:46,877 Twisting the knife this afternoon? 641 00:22:46,895 --> 00:22:49,379 absolutely. too much fun. 642 00:22:49,397 --> 00:22:52,215 well, I'm so happy that I could give you a reason 643 00:22:52,233 --> 00:22:55,052 To come together and become friends. 644 00:22:55,070 --> 00:22:56,720 yeah, we're like BFFs now. 645 00:22:56,738 --> 00:22:58,388 She's gonna teach me how to pole-dance. 646 00:22:58,406 --> 00:23:00,658 mm, such a crying shame, Hank. 647 00:23:00,692 --> 00:23:03,827 Just think of all of the missed opportunities. 648 00:23:03,862 --> 00:23:04,995 ow... 649 00:23:05,030 --> 00:23:06,497 [both laugh] 650 00:23:06,531 --> 00:23:09,750 Mm-hmm. Moody... 651 00:23:09,784 --> 00:23:11,835 If I hear you've gone and blown it 652 00:23:11,870 --> 00:23:13,504 With this gorgeous filly, 653 00:23:13,538 --> 00:23:17,091 I will kick your ass and make her my queen. 654 00:23:17,125 --> 00:23:18,842 Ladies. yes. 655 00:23:18,877 --> 00:23:21,962 take care, Karen. bye, have fun. 656 00:23:22,013 --> 00:23:23,580 bye. 657 00:23:23,598 --> 00:23:26,016 I can't believe I used to love that guy. 658 00:23:26,051 --> 00:23:27,685 you'll get over it. 659 00:23:27,719 --> 00:23:29,937 Come on, soldier, let's get you home. 660 00:23:29,971 --> 00:23:33,524 You still have battles to fight, realms to conquer. 661 00:23:33,558 --> 00:23:36,527 the child-- what about the child? 662 00:23:36,561 --> 00:23:39,897 the child is staying here tonight. 663 00:23:45,070 --> 00:23:47,037 oh. 664 00:23:47,072 --> 00:23:48,989 Oh, wow. 665 00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:51,208 No wonder we never did it in the powder room, huh? 666 00:23:51,242 --> 00:23:53,711 That was--that was really not pleasant at all. 667 00:23:53,745 --> 00:23:56,130 it wasn't great. 668 00:23:56,164 --> 00:23:58,281 I don't mean the first part, of course. 669 00:23:58,299 --> 00:23:59,550 I meant the second part. 670 00:23:59,584 --> 00:24:01,468 I enjoyed the shit out of humping you at first. 671 00:24:01,503 --> 00:24:02,803 yeah, well, we could sleep 672 00:24:02,837 --> 00:24:04,304 Knowing we gave the next homeowners 673 00:24:04,339 --> 00:24:06,473 A dirty sink and a plumbing problem. 674 00:24:06,508 --> 00:24:08,892 [both mimicking laughter] 675 00:24:11,312 --> 00:24:13,463 Holy shit. mm? 676 00:24:13,481 --> 00:24:14,648 they came-- 677 00:24:14,682 --> 00:24:17,484 The divorce papers. 678 00:24:17,519 --> 00:24:21,155 whoa. 679 00:24:21,189 --> 00:24:24,408 big day, Charlie-- signing time. 680 00:24:24,442 --> 00:24:26,360 well, I-I can't move. 681 00:24:26,411 --> 00:24:28,112 You're gonna have to bring me a pen. 682 00:24:30,031 --> 00:24:33,117 [sighs] 683 00:24:33,151 --> 00:24:35,002 [clears throat] 684 00:24:36,871 --> 00:24:39,590 Hey, how was the first part for you, Marce, hmm? 685 00:24:39,624 --> 00:24:40,841 You never said. 686 00:24:40,875 --> 00:24:43,010 well, what do you want me to say, Charlie? 687 00:24:43,044 --> 00:24:45,345 The first part with you was great. 688 00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:47,881 It's the last part that ended in disaster. 689 00:24:47,932 --> 00:24:50,884 yeah, yeah, but it doesn't have to, you know? 690 00:24:50,935 --> 00:24:54,188 Because we could keep going, right? 691 00:24:54,222 --> 00:24:57,191 You know, we--we turn the last part 692 00:24:57,225 --> 00:24:58,559 Into the middle part. 693 00:24:58,610 --> 00:25:01,779 and what happens when we get to the next shitty part? 694 00:25:01,813 --> 00:25:04,364 there doesn't have to be a shitty part. 695 00:25:04,399 --> 00:25:06,984 baby... 696 00:25:07,018 --> 00:25:10,654 There's always a shitty part with us. 697 00:25:16,911 --> 00:25:19,863 [grunting] ow. 698 00:25:21,866 --> 00:25:22,916 Hey. 699 00:25:36,547 --> 00:25:40,217 [sniffles] 700 00:25:42,220 --> 00:25:44,855 I appreciate the interest, I really do. 701 00:25:44,889 --> 00:25:46,940 you do? yes, I'm just-- 702 00:25:46,991 --> 00:25:48,892 I'm just not sure 703 00:25:48,910 --> 00:25:52,196 I'm in the Moody. 704 00:25:52,230 --> 00:25:53,697 oh, no. 705 00:25:53,731 --> 00:25:56,399 But I am. I--I really am. 706 00:25:56,417 --> 00:25:58,035 I mean, today was so exciting. 707 00:25:58,069 --> 00:26:00,120 I could, like, totally just, like, 708 00:26:00,171 --> 00:26:02,623 Carry on from where we left off this morning. 709 00:26:02,674 --> 00:26:05,425 My mind and my body are totally in sync. 710 00:26:05,460 --> 00:26:07,127 I'm not sure 711 00:26:07,178 --> 00:26:09,630 That I like the implication of that. 712 00:26:09,681 --> 00:26:13,467 What? it's very sexy for a man to fight for your honor. 713 00:26:13,518 --> 00:26:14,635 Is it also very sexy 714 00:26:14,686 --> 00:26:16,303 To run into some old geezer you let bone you 715 00:26:16,354 --> 00:26:17,604 When you were 19 years old? 716 00:26:17,639 --> 00:26:18,972 Well, you know, it just reminded me 717 00:26:19,023 --> 00:26:20,440 Of being back at college again, 718 00:26:20,475 --> 00:26:23,260 When life was so simple, and he was so-- 719 00:26:23,278 --> 00:26:26,396 he was so passionate, so full of enthusiasm. 720 00:26:26,430 --> 00:26:28,315 I know, I know. 721 00:26:28,366 --> 00:26:30,433 He was so big, actually. 722 00:26:30,451 --> 00:26:32,319 Oh, gross. 723 00:26:32,370 --> 00:26:35,822 I mean, not that that matters or anything, but, um... 724 00:26:35,874 --> 00:26:37,908 Well, you know, right? you saw. 725 00:26:37,942 --> 00:26:39,159 I saw nothing. 726 00:26:39,210 --> 00:26:41,778 As far as I know, the man is a hermaphrodite. 727 00:26:41,796 --> 00:26:43,664 Really? God, He was-- 728 00:26:43,715 --> 00:26:46,500 He was, like, the hottest assistant professor 729 00:26:46,551 --> 00:26:47,834 On the campus. 730 00:26:47,886 --> 00:26:49,753 Everybody wanted to sleep with him. 731 00:26:49,787 --> 00:26:50,888 My friends were so jealous. 732 00:26:50,922 --> 00:26:53,173 One time we were doing it in his office, 733 00:26:53,224 --> 00:26:55,509 And there was, like, this line down the hall-- 734 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:56,727 Okay, that's it 735 00:26:56,761 --> 00:27:00,463 I demand satisfaction. yes, yes, it worked! 736 00:27:00,481 --> 00:27:03,300 Good. Mm. Are you gonna punish me? 737 00:27:03,318 --> 00:27:04,651 You do know I'm gonna have to live 738 00:27:04,686 --> 00:27:06,570 With that image in my head for the rest of my life. 739 00:27:06,604 --> 00:27:08,071 I know. 740 00:27:10,992 --> 00:27:12,976 I'm just not sure that my mind and my body 741 00:27:12,994 --> 00:27:14,978 Are in sync either. 742 00:27:14,996 --> 00:27:16,813 You know, the--the events of the day, 743 00:27:16,831 --> 00:27:19,482 All this fun you've had, it's bruised my mind. 744 00:27:19,500 --> 00:27:20,817 It's traumatized me. 745 00:27:20,835 --> 00:27:24,321 It may very well undermine my ability to please you. 746 00:27:24,339 --> 00:27:26,089 Really? 747 00:27:26,124 --> 00:27:28,959 No, not really. 748 00:27:28,977 --> 00:27:36,979 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com