1 00:00:59,471 --> 00:01:02,439 - Killing bad guys is my business, 2 00:01:02,474 --> 00:01:05,442 And business is cracking. 3 00:01:18,723 --> 00:01:21,525 Oh. - Oh. 4 00:01:21,559 --> 00:01:23,193 Oh. 5 00:01:23,228 --> 00:01:25,162 How was it? - 6 00:01:25,196 --> 00:01:27,498 - It wasn't very good, was it? 7 00:01:27,532 --> 00:01:29,133 - Are you fucking kidding me right now, mom? 8 00:01:29,167 --> 00:01:31,268 It sucked. Hard. 9 00:01:31,302 --> 00:01:32,870 I can't believe I even work for that show. 10 00:01:32,904 --> 00:01:34,838 I deserve way better. - 11 00:01:34,873 --> 00:01:37,007 - I hope your episode's better than that fucking atrocity. 12 00:01:37,042 --> 00:01:39,510 - Can't promise anything. 13 00:01:39,544 --> 00:01:41,278 - Whatever. 14 00:01:41,312 --> 00:01:44,481 Going to bed. - Good night, buddy. 15 00:01:44,516 --> 00:01:45,616 - Love you. - Night. 16 00:01:45,650 --> 00:01:47,584 Love you. 17 00:01:57,429 --> 00:01:58,896 - Hi. 18 00:01:58,930 --> 00:02:00,464 - Hi. 19 00:02:00,498 --> 00:02:02,399 - We haven't been alone together in a long time. 20 00:02:02,434 --> 00:02:04,701 - Which explains why my wiener 21 00:02:04,736 --> 00:02:06,270 Feels so weird right now. 22 00:02:21,352 --> 00:02:25,355 - Mom. 23 00:02:25,390 --> 00:02:26,890 - What, honey? 24 00:02:26,925 --> 00:02:29,693 - Is it cool if I... 25 00:02:29,727 --> 00:02:32,029 - What? - 26 00:02:32,063 --> 00:02:34,264 - What the fuck is he saying? - I don't know. 27 00:02:34,299 --> 00:02:37,067 - Can I sleep in the annex? - Oh. 28 00:02:37,102 --> 00:02:40,104 - What the fuck is the annex? What the fuck are you holding? 29 00:02:40,138 --> 00:02:42,940 - This is my lovey. It's like my favorite blanket. 30 00:02:42,974 --> 00:02:44,875 I've had it since I was a little fucking baby. 31 00:02:44,909 --> 00:02:46,243 Ah. 32 00:02:46,277 --> 00:02:47,878 - Well, if you really think you need to. 33 00:02:47,912 --> 00:02:50,581 - I do, I'm really worried about the future, 34 00:02:50,615 --> 00:02:53,050 Our future, all of us. - Why? 35 00:02:53,084 --> 00:02:54,785 - Show's gonna get canceled, dude, 36 00:02:54,819 --> 00:02:57,454 Sooner rather than later, and then what are we gonna do? 37 00:02:57,489 --> 00:02:59,189 - All right, well, you just stick a pin in that 38 00:02:59,224 --> 00:03:01,725 And go off to the annex and get a good night's sleep. 39 00:03:01,759 --> 00:03:04,394 - Okay. 40 00:03:04,429 --> 00:03:06,363 - Whoa, thi--this is the annex right here? 41 00:03:06,397 --> 00:03:08,899 - Mm-hmm. 42 00:03:08,933 --> 00:03:12,069 - What the fuck? You still breast-feeding too? 43 00:03:12,103 --> 00:03:13,904 - I wish. 44 00:03:13,938 --> 00:03:17,040 Thanks, mom. Good night. 45 00:03:17,075 --> 00:03:20,444 Good night, dad. 46 00:03:20,478 --> 00:03:21,945 - Good night. 47 00:04:18,403 --> 00:04:20,437 - Gather round, people. 48 00:04:20,471 --> 00:04:23,740 Gather round. Gather round. 49 00:04:28,746 --> 00:04:31,148 Yeah, so we're canceled. - No! 50 00:04:31,182 --> 00:04:34,351 - One and out. Holy shit. 51 00:04:34,385 --> 00:04:36,353 Sorry, did I say that out loud? 52 00:04:36,387 --> 00:04:37,454 I gotta go call gersh. 53 00:04:40,391 --> 00:04:41,892 - Technically speaking, we've been asked 54 00:04:41,926 --> 00:04:44,394 To shut down production and go on hiatus. 55 00:04:44,429 --> 00:04:46,997 - I mean, a hiatus sounds good, you know? 56 00:04:47,031 --> 00:04:48,632 I mean, I could use a break from this fucking grind. 57 00:04:48,666 --> 00:04:50,334 - Oh, you're gonna have a nice, long break, 58 00:04:50,368 --> 00:04:53,804 All right, Hashtag? 59 00:04:53,838 --> 00:04:55,606 Look. 60 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:57,107 We threw a party. Nobody showed up. 61 00:04:57,141 --> 00:05:00,310 It happens. 62 00:05:00,345 --> 00:05:02,579 It's been a blast. 63 00:05:02,614 --> 00:05:04,381 Actually, you know what? This hasn't been a blast. 64 00:05:04,415 --> 00:05:05,983 This has been a fucking pain in the ass, 65 00:05:06,017 --> 00:05:10,020 Thankfully a relatively short pain in the ass. 66 00:05:10,054 --> 00:05:11,588 Learn from this, people, okay? 67 00:05:11,623 --> 00:05:13,890 Take it with you to the next job, 68 00:05:13,925 --> 00:05:16,526 And appreciate what you have while you have it, 69 00:05:16,561 --> 00:05:19,496 Because usually, it ends just like this. 70 00:05:19,530 --> 00:05:21,765 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, are-- 71 00:05:21,799 --> 00:05:24,234 Aren't we gonna fight this shit? 72 00:05:24,269 --> 00:05:26,203 - No, we're not gonna fight this shit, Levon. 73 00:05:26,237 --> 00:05:28,372 - They can't just cancel our show after one fucking episode. 74 00:05:28,406 --> 00:05:30,674 - Yo, this tubby motherfucker is speaking the truth right now. 75 00:05:30,708 --> 00:05:32,576 - America voted, Hashtag. 76 00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:33,844 They don't like your shit. 77 00:05:35,647 --> 00:05:37,014 That really fucking hurts my feelings, rath. 78 00:05:37,048 --> 00:05:38,382 - Oh, come on, man, it's all right. 79 00:05:38,416 --> 00:05:39,716 Hashtag, you'll live to butcher 80 00:05:39,751 --> 00:05:41,285 Someone else's dialogue another day. 81 00:05:41,319 --> 00:05:43,654 That's the beauty of this business of show-- 82 00:05:43,688 --> 00:05:46,556 How many chances we get to fuck it up all over again. 83 00:05:46,624 --> 00:05:48,925 - Uh...Many. 84 00:05:50,561 --> 00:05:53,797 - All right, I will be in my office drinking 85 00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:57,100 If anyone wants to say good-bye. 86 00:06:01,572 --> 00:06:03,840 - I understand. 87 00:06:03,875 --> 00:06:06,610 I'm sorry, Hank. 88 00:06:06,644 --> 00:06:09,246 - What's wrong? 89 00:06:11,349 --> 00:06:14,051 Santa monica cop got canceled. 90 00:06:14,085 --> 00:06:15,485 - Lovely. 91 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,321 There goes that pathetic fucking trickle 92 00:06:17,355 --> 00:06:18,422 Of a revenue stream. 93 00:06:18,456 --> 00:06:20,057 - I am sure I can get Hank 94 00:06:20,091 --> 00:06:21,258 On another show. 95 00:06:21,292 --> 00:06:24,061 - Oh, god, Charlie. 96 00:06:24,095 --> 00:06:26,963 I have to fuck Stu. 97 00:06:28,633 --> 00:06:30,767 - I know it's upsetting, baby. 98 00:06:33,304 --> 00:06:34,905 I'm crying because I know 99 00:06:34,939 --> 00:06:37,674 You have to fuck Stu. 100 00:06:37,709 --> 00:06:39,476 I'm crying because I can't even fucking provide 101 00:06:39,510 --> 00:06:41,178 For you and our son. 102 00:06:41,212 --> 00:06:44,281 I'm crying because our life is so fucking pathetic 103 00:06:44,315 --> 00:06:46,216 Right now, it seems like this is the only option. 104 00:06:46,250 --> 00:06:48,318 - So now, it's my turn to provide. 105 00:06:48,353 --> 00:06:50,821 Big fucking deal. 106 00:06:50,855 --> 00:06:53,323 I just have to go out and schtup my ex, 107 00:06:53,358 --> 00:06:54,591 So we can make the rent. 108 00:06:56,227 --> 00:06:59,696 - There's worse things... I guess. 109 00:06:59,731 --> 00:07:02,666 - I'm gonna fucking kill myself! 110 00:07:02,700 --> 00:07:04,701 - Don't kill yourself, baby. 111 00:07:04,736 --> 00:07:06,370 Don't you think our son has enough shit 112 00:07:06,404 --> 00:07:08,004 To deal with about his old man, 113 00:07:08,039 --> 00:07:10,674 You're gonna throw in paternal suicide too? 114 00:07:10,708 --> 00:07:12,976 - That's true. You're right. 115 00:07:13,010 --> 00:07:14,911 When you're right, you're right. 116 00:07:14,946 --> 00:07:16,279 I just don't think I can stay here 117 00:07:16,314 --> 00:07:17,781 Knowing you're out there fucking Stu 118 00:07:17,815 --> 00:07:20,250 Without hurting myself. 119 00:07:20,284 --> 00:07:22,352 - I have an idea. 120 00:07:22,387 --> 00:07:24,121 - You're not gonna do it? - No, I'm gonna do it. 121 00:07:24,155 --> 00:07:25,956 I'm gonna do it, 122 00:07:25,990 --> 00:07:30,127 But I think that maybe you should do it too. 123 00:07:32,563 --> 00:07:34,064 - Fuck Stu? 124 00:07:34,132 --> 00:07:36,967 - No, you idiot. Fuck someone else. 125 00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:38,902 If you have to deal with the unpleasantness 126 00:07:38,936 --> 00:07:40,137 Of me fucking Stu, 127 00:07:40,171 --> 00:07:44,040 I think it's only fair that... 128 00:07:44,075 --> 00:07:46,643 You should get to fuck somebody else too. 129 00:07:46,677 --> 00:07:48,545 - Really? 130 00:07:48,579 --> 00:07:49,546 - Yes. 131 00:07:49,580 --> 00:07:52,482 - I'm intrigued. 132 00:07:52,517 --> 00:07:53,750 Continue, please. 133 00:07:56,587 --> 00:07:58,722 - Just once, 134 00:07:58,756 --> 00:08:00,390 And I don't wanna know about it. 135 00:08:00,425 --> 00:08:01,758 I'm serious. 136 00:08:01,793 --> 00:08:06,096 You keep that shit to yourself. 137 00:08:06,130 --> 00:08:10,600 - I have a confession to make. 138 00:08:10,635 --> 00:08:12,869 I'm incredibly hard right now. 139 00:08:12,904 --> 00:08:14,805 - Really? 140 00:08:14,839 --> 00:08:16,473 That's funny 141 00:08:16,507 --> 00:08:21,077 Because I'm incredibly wet right now. 142 00:08:21,112 --> 00:08:22,379 - Are we sick people? 143 00:08:22,413 --> 00:08:26,383 - I think that goes without saying. 144 00:08:26,417 --> 00:08:28,285 Should we bone? 145 00:08:28,319 --> 00:08:31,121 - I think that goes without saying. 146 00:08:31,155 --> 00:08:33,256 - Gotta move fast-- I literally have ten minutes 147 00:08:33,291 --> 00:08:34,825 Before I have to pick up Stuart 148 00:08:34,859 --> 00:08:37,394 And get him to speech therapy. 149 00:08:45,136 --> 00:08:46,970 - Hey. 150 00:08:47,004 --> 00:08:49,606 - May I? - I insist. 151 00:08:55,313 --> 00:08:56,913 - You ever thought about giving up 152 00:08:56,948 --> 00:08:58,281 All this television writing hoo-ha 153 00:08:58,316 --> 00:08:59,749 And getting back to your music? 154 00:09:01,352 --> 00:09:02,919 Fuck that, this is the only thing I have 155 00:09:02,954 --> 00:09:05,388 That's actually pure. 156 00:09:05,423 --> 00:09:06,490 You know, the second you try 157 00:09:06,524 --> 00:09:07,557 And get serious about something, 158 00:09:07,592 --> 00:09:08,892 It loses all its magic. 159 00:09:08,926 --> 00:09:12,262 - Word to your mother. - Mm-hmm. 160 00:09:12,296 --> 00:09:14,631 - What's next? 161 00:09:14,665 --> 00:09:15,899 - I have a deal with the studio. 162 00:09:15,933 --> 00:09:17,434 They'll ask me to step in and save 163 00:09:17,468 --> 00:09:20,470 Some other fucking disaster 164 00:09:20,505 --> 00:09:22,339 Or--or write another pilot. 165 00:09:22,373 --> 00:09:24,641 Same shit, different year, you know. 166 00:09:24,675 --> 00:09:26,610 Gotta keep the pool heated, right? 167 00:09:26,644 --> 00:09:28,345 - So my son can defile it some more? 168 00:09:28,379 --> 00:09:30,213 - yeah. 169 00:09:30,248 --> 00:09:33,450 The real question is, what's next for Hank Moody? 170 00:09:33,484 --> 00:09:34,951 - Fuck if I know, man. 171 00:09:34,986 --> 00:09:36,453 - You know, I don't think you should go 172 00:09:36,487 --> 00:09:38,955 Work on another show. 173 00:09:38,990 --> 00:09:40,123 - You don't think I have what it takes? 174 00:09:40,157 --> 00:09:41,525 - No, you have what it takes. 175 00:09:41,559 --> 00:09:44,294 It's just a waste of what you have. 176 00:09:44,328 --> 00:09:45,929 I think you should write a show of your own. 177 00:09:45,963 --> 00:09:48,698 - Well, I appreciate that, but I-- 178 00:09:48,733 --> 00:09:50,200 I-I don't know what I'd write about. 179 00:09:50,234 --> 00:09:53,537 I don't know about cops or lawyers or doctors. 180 00:09:53,571 --> 00:09:55,171 - No, no, no, no, fuck that shit. 181 00:09:55,206 --> 00:09:58,508 Write about what you do know. Write about you. 182 00:09:58,543 --> 00:10:00,777 Write about your fucked-up friends. 183 00:10:00,811 --> 00:10:04,214 Write about your kids, the ones you know about. 184 00:10:04,248 --> 00:10:05,982 Write about Karen. - And Julia. 185 00:10:06,017 --> 00:10:07,684 - Write about Julia. 186 00:10:07,718 --> 00:10:09,920 Just leave a little room in there 187 00:10:09,954 --> 00:10:11,354 For someone to swoop in and steal her away. 188 00:10:11,389 --> 00:10:12,489 ?. 189 00:10:12,523 --> 00:10:15,191 - Just a little. - 190 00:10:17,261 --> 00:10:20,063 - Think about it. 191 00:10:20,097 --> 00:10:21,631 - I will. 192 00:10:24,669 --> 00:10:32,609 ¶ 193 00:10:36,681 --> 00:10:40,383 - ¶ mother told me, yes, she told me ¶ 194 00:10:40,418 --> 00:10:43,219 ¶ I'd meet girls like you ¶ 195 00:10:43,254 --> 00:10:45,622 ¶ she also told me 196 00:10:45,656 --> 00:10:48,758 ¶ "stay away, you'll never know ¶ 197 00:10:48,793 --> 00:10:50,560 ¶ what you'll catch" 198 00:10:50,595 --> 00:10:53,096 ¶ just the other day 199 00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:57,667 ¶ I heard a soldier's falling off ¶ 200 00:10:57,702 --> 00:11:00,537 ¶ some indonesian junk 201 00:11:00,571 --> 00:11:02,205 ¶ that's going round 202 00:11:02,239 --> 00:11:04,207 - Hey, pretty lady. 203 00:11:04,241 --> 00:11:07,043 - Hey there, sailor. 204 00:11:07,078 --> 00:11:09,679 - Charlie. - Lisa. 205 00:11:13,050 --> 00:11:15,518 What's the matter, Charlie? You seem a little nervous. 206 00:11:15,553 --> 00:11:18,121 - I am, I am, I'm a little nervous, yeah, 207 00:11:18,155 --> 00:11:19,623 More than I thought I would be. 208 00:11:19,657 --> 00:11:21,024 - Aw, what's there to be nervous about? 209 00:11:21,058 --> 00:11:22,359 You're just a guy talking to a girl. 210 00:11:22,393 --> 00:11:24,961 - I suppose you're right. Yeah. 211 00:11:24,996 --> 00:11:26,896 Can I--can I buy you a drink? - Sure. 212 00:11:26,931 --> 00:11:28,632 I like drinks. - Krull? 213 00:11:28,666 --> 00:11:30,967 whatever the lady would like. 214 00:11:31,002 --> 00:11:34,304 - The lady wants a jager shot. 215 00:11:34,338 --> 00:11:37,273 - Uh, same for the gentleman, I guess. 216 00:11:39,343 --> 00:11:42,212 - ¶ father says, "your mother's right ¶ 217 00:11:42,246 --> 00:11:46,983 ¶ she's really up on things" ¶ 218 00:11:48,986 --> 00:11:51,488 - ¶ mommy served in the wacs in the philippines ¶ 219 00:11:51,522 --> 00:11:53,790 ?-?-?. 220 00:12:02,667 --> 00:12:04,634 - Married? - 221 00:12:04,669 --> 00:12:08,505 This old thing. 222 00:12:08,539 --> 00:12:11,141 Yeah, we have kind of an arrangement, yeah. 223 00:12:11,175 --> 00:12:13,209 - That's cool. I have a boyfriend. 224 00:12:13,244 --> 00:12:16,880 - Right on, right on. 225 00:12:16,914 --> 00:12:18,882 - So what did you have in mind? 226 00:12:18,916 --> 00:12:23,153 - Oh, uh, a liaison, perhaps? 227 00:12:23,187 --> 00:12:25,155 - Oh, liaison. 228 00:12:25,189 --> 00:12:27,757 - I know a cheap little motel close by. 229 00:12:27,792 --> 00:12:30,960 - Really? What would you do? - Do? 230 00:12:30,995 --> 00:12:32,962 - To me in a cheap hotel? - Oh, oh. 231 00:12:32,997 --> 00:12:35,465 To you, well, you know, first, I would kiss you. 232 00:12:35,499 --> 00:12:37,801 - No kissing. Not hot, not for a liaison. 233 00:12:37,835 --> 00:12:39,869 - No kissing. Okay. 234 00:12:39,904 --> 00:12:43,973 I-I would-- I would fondle your boobs-- 235 00:12:44,008 --> 00:12:45,542 - - right? 236 00:12:45,576 --> 00:12:47,877 Because, you know-- and then, I would maybe-- 237 00:12:47,912 --> 00:12:50,013 Maybe get a sense of your ass, you know? 238 00:12:50,047 --> 00:12:53,783 And then, I suppose my penis would make an appearance. 239 00:12:53,851 --> 00:12:55,385 Ta-da. 240 00:12:55,419 --> 00:12:56,953 Yeah? I would put it in your mouth. 241 00:12:56,987 --> 00:12:58,521 And then I might take it out again. 242 00:12:58,556 --> 00:13:00,256 Maybe I would slap you on the forehead with it, 243 00:13:00,291 --> 00:13:02,325 Just a little bit, you know, just for fun. 244 00:13:02,359 --> 00:13:03,727 Just for fun. - Wow. 245 00:13:03,761 --> 00:13:05,028 You're a dirty little birdie, Charlie. 246 00:13:05,062 --> 00:13:06,362 - You have no idea, lisa. 247 00:13:06,397 --> 00:13:09,065 - Really? What else? I like this game. 248 00:13:09,100 --> 00:13:11,067 - Okay, I would pull down your pants. 249 00:13:11,102 --> 00:13:12,535 I would tear off your panties and stuff 'em in your mouth. 250 00:13:12,570 --> 00:13:14,137 - Nice. 251 00:13:14,171 --> 00:13:15,672 - I would wrap the phone cord around your neck. 252 00:13:15,706 --> 00:13:17,173 Not too hard, of course. - Oh, of course. 253 00:13:17,208 --> 00:13:19,409 - I would like to, you know-- - rough is fun. 254 00:13:19,443 --> 00:13:23,346 - Holy shit. 255 00:13:23,380 --> 00:13:26,049 You know what, you may just be my sexual soul mate. 256 00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:27,484 - Oh, that's sweet. 257 00:13:27,518 --> 00:13:29,319 - And then, I would take you from behind. 258 00:13:29,353 --> 00:13:31,554 I would fucking-- oh, no, no, no, scratch that. 259 00:13:31,589 --> 00:13:32,922 Not from behind, no, because that's-- 260 00:13:32,957 --> 00:13:33,890 You know, it gets me going too much. 261 00:13:33,924 --> 00:13:35,525 It's too good. 262 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:36,860 Yeah, it's like two seconds, and I'd be done. 263 00:13:36,894 --> 00:13:38,528 - Oh, no, we wouldn't want that. 264 00:13:38,562 --> 00:13:39,929 - No, no. You know what? 265 00:13:39,964 --> 00:13:42,065 Allow me to demonstrate something for you 266 00:13:42,099 --> 00:13:44,400 That I like to call "la runkle." 267 00:13:44,435 --> 00:13:45,668 Come here, come here, stand up. 268 00:13:45,703 --> 00:13:47,170 Look at this. - Okay. 269 00:13:47,204 --> 00:13:49,773 - I find that if I move in little circles, 270 00:13:49,807 --> 00:13:52,542 It keeps me in the game far longer, far longer. 271 00:13:52,576 --> 00:13:55,111 This simple change from this to that, 272 00:13:55,146 --> 00:13:59,115 And it makes me last a little bit longer. 273 00:13:59,150 --> 00:14:01,384 - - what the fuck is this? 274 00:14:01,418 --> 00:14:04,721 - I beg your pardon? 275 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:11,795 Who's the clown? - Oh. 276 00:14:11,829 --> 00:14:13,029 This is Charlie. 277 00:14:13,063 --> 00:14:15,365 Charlie, this is my boyfriend mack. 278 00:14:15,399 --> 00:14:17,967 Um, Charlie was just describing what he'd like to do to me 279 00:14:18,002 --> 00:14:20,170 In a cheap motel. 280 00:14:20,204 --> 00:14:22,005 - Oh, yeah? 281 00:14:22,039 --> 00:14:24,674 Wanna know what I'd do to you in a cheap motel, Charlie? 282 00:14:24,708 --> 00:14:25,742 Or even in a bar? 283 00:14:28,913 --> 00:14:31,581 - Come on, dirty girl. Let's get naked. 284 00:14:39,490 --> 00:14:41,057 - What's up, harpo? - You know what, dad? 285 00:14:41,091 --> 00:14:42,559 You got a great fucking body, seriously. 286 00:14:42,593 --> 00:14:43,726 - Thanks? 287 00:14:43,761 --> 00:14:45,128 - Yeah, I wish the apple fell 288 00:14:45,162 --> 00:14:46,830 A little closer to the bush on that one. 289 00:14:46,864 --> 00:14:47,997 - That's not-- - how do I-- 290 00:14:48,032 --> 00:14:50,133 How do I get abs like that? 291 00:14:50,167 --> 00:14:51,868 - I would start by laying off the fucking pizza. 292 00:14:51,902 --> 00:14:53,636 - Yeah, like that's gonna happen. 293 00:14:53,671 --> 00:14:54,938 This is a great idea, dad. 294 00:14:54,972 --> 00:14:56,806 I fucking love pizza and movie night. 295 00:14:56,841 --> 00:14:59,008 Just what the doctor ordered, you know? 296 00:14:59,043 --> 00:14:59,976 So what if I'm unemployed now? 297 00:15:00,010 --> 00:15:01,845 - Well, I talked to rath, 298 00:15:01,879 --> 00:15:03,913 And he's gonna let you stay on for as long as he can. 299 00:15:03,948 --> 00:15:05,315 - Yeah, but then what? 300 00:15:05,349 --> 00:15:06,883 - Then you go out, and you get another job. 301 00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:08,251 - Yeah, but how am I just gonna luck 302 00:15:08,285 --> 00:15:09,886 Into another job like I did with this one? 303 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:11,754 - Well, maybe you don't luck into another job. 304 00:15:11,789 --> 00:15:14,591 Maybe you actually go out and you find one. 305 00:15:14,625 --> 00:15:18,494 - Mm, yeah, that's--that's never really worked for me. 306 00:15:18,529 --> 00:15:19,996 - I'm gonna throw some clothes on. 307 00:15:20,030 --> 00:15:23,166 - Hurry up, dude. Pizza's gonna get cold. 308 00:15:26,904 --> 00:15:29,405 Fuck. God damn it. 309 00:15:34,345 --> 00:15:35,345 Mom? Thank god. 310 00:15:35,379 --> 00:15:38,414 You gotta help me. 311 00:15:41,886 --> 00:15:43,853 Oh, my god. Hi. 312 00:15:43,888 --> 00:15:45,655 - Hi. - You're--you're Becca. 313 00:15:45,689 --> 00:15:49,125 - Yes, I am. And you are... 314 00:15:49,159 --> 00:15:51,060 - Levon. I'm--I'm Levon. Hi! 315 00:15:51,095 --> 00:15:54,530 - Nice to meet you, Levon. 316 00:15:54,565 --> 00:15:56,232 - You said my name right. 317 00:15:56,267 --> 00:15:59,068 - Is that unusual? - Yeah. 318 00:15:59,103 --> 00:16:01,704 I'm sorry, did you-- do you know about me? 319 00:16:01,739 --> 00:16:03,039 - No. 320 00:16:03,073 --> 00:16:04,474 - You don't know about me? Shit. 321 00:16:04,508 --> 00:16:06,676 - I'm looking for my father. 322 00:16:06,710 --> 00:16:09,412 - Yeah, he's-- he's getting dressed. 323 00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:10,813 - Where's Charlie and Marcy? 324 00:16:10,848 --> 00:16:12,815 - I don't know. They're weird. 325 00:16:12,850 --> 00:16:14,384 - Yeah, they are. 326 00:16:14,418 --> 00:16:16,686 - You're a lot hotter than your pictures. 327 00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:18,087 - Thanks? 328 00:16:18,122 --> 00:16:21,157 - Um, I'm sorry. That's weird. 329 00:16:21,191 --> 00:16:23,526 But your mom's totally hot, makes sense. 330 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:25,161 - You know my mom? - Yeah, she's cool. 331 00:16:25,195 --> 00:16:26,529 Super milfy. Where is she? 332 00:16:26,563 --> 00:16:27,897 - Parking the car. 333 00:16:27,932 --> 00:16:29,432 So how do you know my father? 334 00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:33,269 - Let's get this pizza-movie night started. 335 00:16:36,941 --> 00:16:38,007 - Sweetie. 336 00:16:38,042 --> 00:16:40,143 Oh. 337 00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:45,982 Oh. 338 00:16:47,418 --> 00:16:51,754 - So I met your strange little friend. 339 00:16:51,789 --> 00:16:53,356 - Yeah. 340 00:16:53,390 --> 00:16:55,291 About my strange little friend... 341 00:16:55,326 --> 00:16:56,726 - Will you just tell her already? 342 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:58,895 The suspense is fucking killing me here, dude. 343 00:16:58,929 --> 00:17:00,897 - Tell me what? 344 00:17:00,931 --> 00:17:02,365 - I-I have some news. 345 00:17:02,399 --> 00:17:03,967 - Yeah, me too. That's why I'm here. 346 00:17:04,001 --> 00:17:05,568 - Great, why don't you go first? 347 00:17:05,602 --> 00:17:07,603 - No, you first, dude. This is ridiculous. 348 00:17:07,638 --> 00:17:09,105 I wanna give her a fucking hug already. 349 00:17:10,841 --> 00:17:13,443 - Why? 350 00:17:13,477 --> 00:17:15,078 - Can't do it, can you? 351 00:17:15,112 --> 00:17:20,249 You're embarrassed of me. I fucking knew it. 352 00:17:20,284 --> 00:17:21,784 - I wanted to tell you, but I didn't wanna do it 353 00:17:21,819 --> 00:17:23,820 Over the phone. 354 00:17:23,854 --> 00:17:25,455 - Hey, I got three bottles. I hope it's enough. 355 00:17:25,489 --> 00:17:27,724 I know you like to drink. 356 00:17:27,758 --> 00:17:31,160 Holy shit. Is this Becca? 357 00:17:31,195 --> 00:17:33,162 Holy shit. Oh, my gosh. 358 00:17:33,197 --> 00:17:35,498 It's so great to finally meet you. 359 00:17:35,532 --> 00:17:36,799 Oh. - Who are you? 360 00:17:36,834 --> 00:17:38,668 - I'm Julia, Levon's mom. 361 00:17:38,702 --> 00:17:41,938 Are you excited to meet your brother? 362 00:17:44,274 --> 00:17:46,242 - My brother? 363 00:17:56,954 --> 00:17:58,688 - Missus, you back! 364 00:17:58,722 --> 00:18:01,457 - Hi, irma. - You put perfect? 365 00:18:01,492 --> 00:18:05,528 - Is he in? - Yes, of course, he's in. 366 00:18:05,562 --> 00:18:07,263 - Marcy? 367 00:18:07,297 --> 00:18:10,133 - Hi, Stu. - Hi. 368 00:18:10,167 --> 00:18:11,267 - How are you? 369 00:18:11,301 --> 00:18:14,470 - Never better. - Can we talk? 370 00:18:14,505 --> 00:18:16,973 - Of course. - Alone. 371 00:18:18,509 --> 00:18:21,044 - Irma, you hear the woman of the house. 372 00:18:21,078 --> 00:18:23,913 Be gone with you! - Oh. 373 00:18:23,947 --> 00:18:25,882 - What can I do for you, Marcy? 374 00:18:25,916 --> 00:18:29,552 - Um, I assume that the offer still stands? 375 00:18:29,586 --> 00:18:32,355 - Well, of course it d-- 376 00:18:32,389 --> 00:18:35,324 Don't toy with me, woman. 377 00:18:35,359 --> 00:18:37,493 Are you in? 378 00:18:37,528 --> 00:18:40,063 - Yes, I'm in. - 379 00:18:40,097 --> 00:18:42,031 - Okay. 380 00:18:42,066 --> 00:18:44,267 Let's do it. 381 00:18:44,301 --> 00:18:45,868 Yeah. - Here we--come on. 382 00:18:45,903 --> 00:18:47,637 ?. ?. 383 00:18:47,671 --> 00:18:49,505 Okay. 384 00:18:57,881 --> 00:19:01,884 So just sign right here. 385 00:19:01,919 --> 00:19:03,086 - Okay. 386 00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:06,322 - And if you could initial here... 387 00:19:06,356 --> 00:19:07,423 - Okay. - Yeah. 388 00:19:07,458 --> 00:19:09,892 And right there. - Okay. 389 00:19:09,927 --> 00:19:11,427 - And we are done. 390 00:19:11,462 --> 00:19:13,062 And I'll take that. Thank you. 391 00:19:13,097 --> 00:19:14,397 - All right, so let's just-- 392 00:19:14,431 --> 00:19:17,467 Should we do this? Let's do this. 393 00:19:17,501 --> 00:19:20,069 - What? What, now? - Yeah. 394 00:19:20,104 --> 00:19:21,604 Now, there's no time like the present. 395 00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:23,706 I mean, let's get this shit over with. 396 00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:25,708 No offense. 397 00:19:25,742 --> 00:19:27,910 - Yeah, let-- let's just do it. 398 00:19:27,945 --> 00:19:30,480 Let's do it now. - Yeah. 399 00:19:30,514 --> 00:19:32,482 - Okay. 400 00:19:34,251 --> 00:19:36,018 Come here. - Okay. 401 00:19:36,053 --> 00:19:38,955 - Yeah. - All right. 402 00:19:38,989 --> 00:19:40,423 Okay. - I've missed you. 403 00:19:40,457 --> 00:19:42,892 - Okay. 404 00:19:42,926 --> 00:19:45,561 Aw. Okay. 405 00:19:45,596 --> 00:19:46,929 Oh. 406 00:19:46,964 --> 00:19:48,297 Oh. 407 00:19:48,332 --> 00:19:50,666 - Okay. All right, Stu. 408 00:19:50,701 --> 00:19:52,435 Maybe not now. - Ow. 409 00:19:52,469 --> 00:19:54,770 - I just--it's too much. My head's not in the game. 410 00:19:54,805 --> 00:19:57,406 Can we just do this tomorrow? - Absolutely, darling. 411 00:19:57,441 --> 00:20:00,109 Absolutely, it would give me more time to prepare. 412 00:20:00,144 --> 00:20:04,614 I need to groom myself, could use a wax. 413 00:20:04,648 --> 00:20:06,048 Do you want to-- 414 00:20:06,083 --> 00:20:08,484 - To wax you before I fuck you for money? 415 00:20:08,519 --> 00:20:11,454 No, Stu. God, no. 416 00:20:11,488 --> 00:20:12,955 - Understood. Understood. 417 00:20:12,990 --> 00:20:14,457 So tomorrow. - Okay. 418 00:20:14,491 --> 00:20:16,159 Okay. - Tomorrow. 419 00:20:16,193 --> 00:20:19,795 I will enter you tomorrow. 420 00:20:19,830 --> 00:20:21,397 - Yes, you will. - 421 00:20:21,431 --> 00:20:24,467 I can't wait. - Yes. 422 00:20:24,501 --> 00:20:26,769 Good times. Yeah. 423 00:20:26,803 --> 00:20:30,740 - Good times. - Okay. 424 00:20:30,774 --> 00:20:33,109 Manana. 425 00:21:11,715 --> 00:21:15,518 Tomorrow, my dear. 426 00:21:15,552 --> 00:21:17,153 Tonight... 427 00:21:21,024 --> 00:21:22,892 We practice. 428 00:21:30,167 --> 00:21:32,034 Yeah. 429 00:21:32,069 --> 00:21:36,038 Who's your daddy? Who's the daddy? 430 00:21:36,073 --> 00:21:38,174 - So you knocked up-- - Julia. 431 00:21:38,208 --> 00:21:41,544 - Sorry, so you knocked up Julia 432 00:21:41,578 --> 00:21:43,012 Before you met mom? 433 00:21:43,046 --> 00:21:44,347 - Oh, let's hope so. 434 00:21:44,381 --> 00:21:46,549 - Oh, give me a break, Karen. Come on. 435 00:21:46,583 --> 00:21:47,950 - Yeah, I didn't think about that. 436 00:21:47,985 --> 00:21:49,185 Do you think he was sleeping 437 00:21:49,219 --> 00:21:50,853 With both of us at the same time? 438 00:21:50,887 --> 00:21:52,788 - W--yeah, I mean, I guess anything's possible. 439 00:21:52,823 --> 00:21:54,257 It's Hank we're talking about, right? 440 00:21:54,291 --> 00:21:55,324 - I guess you're right. 441 00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:58,594 - Ladies, I'm right here. 442 00:21:58,629 --> 00:22:02,598 Yes, I impregnated Julia just before I met your mom. 443 00:22:02,633 --> 00:22:04,767 - Who you then quickly impregnated. 444 00:22:04,801 --> 00:22:06,402 - What a fucking baller, huh? 445 00:22:06,436 --> 00:22:08,537 - Honey, don't talk like that. 446 00:22:08,572 --> 00:22:10,573 - Sorry, just-- just trying to keep it light. 447 00:22:10,607 --> 00:22:12,108 My b, my b. 448 00:22:12,142 --> 00:22:14,110 - Honey, I know this is a really shitty way 449 00:22:14,144 --> 00:22:15,711 To find out about something so huge, 450 00:22:15,746 --> 00:22:17,280 And I'm sorry. 451 00:22:17,314 --> 00:22:19,382 - I don't know, given the story of my life, 452 00:22:19,416 --> 00:22:22,084 This seems perfectly appropriate. 453 00:22:22,119 --> 00:22:23,786 - Yeah. 454 00:22:23,820 --> 00:22:27,690 So where--where do we go from here, Becca? 455 00:22:27,724 --> 00:22:30,226 - What do you mean? 456 00:22:30,260 --> 00:22:31,794 - What do you mean, what do I mean? 457 00:22:31,828 --> 00:22:34,363 I have a fucking sister. How cool is that? 458 00:22:34,398 --> 00:22:36,399 You have a fucking brother. How cool is that? 459 00:22:36,433 --> 00:22:38,934 - I don't know yet. 460 00:22:38,969 --> 00:22:40,936 - You're sarcastic, just like dad. 461 00:22:40,971 --> 00:22:43,039 I love it, I wanna fucking party with you, kid. 462 00:22:43,073 --> 00:22:45,308 - Can you not call him that? 463 00:22:45,342 --> 00:22:47,710 - But he's my father. 464 00:22:47,744 --> 00:22:49,879 - He's my father. 465 00:22:49,913 --> 00:22:53,182 - Okay, so he's our father. Deal with it, Becca. 466 00:22:53,216 --> 00:22:54,817 - Hey, stop being such a dick. 467 00:22:54,851 --> 00:22:56,686 She's just absorbing the information right now. 468 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:58,454 - I knew you were gonna take her side. 469 00:22:58,488 --> 00:23:00,690 - I am not siding with anyone. - That's all right. 470 00:23:00,757 --> 00:23:02,224 You love her more, don't you? 471 00:23:02,259 --> 00:23:03,592 Why wouldn't you? She's your real kid. 472 00:23:03,627 --> 00:23:05,394 That's your real family. 473 00:23:05,429 --> 00:23:07,897 We're just the dirty one-night stand of families. 474 00:23:07,931 --> 00:23:09,598 I'm a retard, and my mom's a slut. 475 00:23:09,633 --> 00:23:12,134 - Honey, don't talk like that. Behave yourself. 476 00:23:12,169 --> 00:23:14,070 Look, he's just-- I'm sorry, he's emotional. 477 00:23:14,104 --> 00:23:15,571 - Hey, hey-- will you four 478 00:23:15,605 --> 00:23:17,907 Please excuse me while I go hang myself? 479 00:23:17,941 --> 00:23:20,376 - No. You don't get to do that. 480 00:23:20,410 --> 00:23:23,512 You don't get to feel sorry for yourself. 481 00:23:23,547 --> 00:23:25,348 - Not even a little bit? - No, this is your life. 482 00:23:25,382 --> 00:23:26,816 Deal with it. - Yeah. 483 00:23:26,850 --> 00:23:28,918 This is your life, Hank Moody. Deal with it. 484 00:23:28,952 --> 00:23:31,887 - I am dealing with it. 485 00:23:33,123 --> 00:23:34,256 How was your trip, honey? 486 00:23:34,291 --> 00:23:37,059 - It was amazing, actually. 487 00:23:37,094 --> 00:23:38,494 - That's fantastic. 488 00:23:38,528 --> 00:23:41,597 How was... 489 00:23:41,631 --> 00:23:44,133 - Now is not the time to be a dick, dad. 490 00:23:44,167 --> 00:23:46,202 - up high, sis. 491 00:23:50,307 --> 00:23:52,108 You're a little uptight. Anyone ever tell you that? 492 00:23:52,142 --> 00:23:54,110 - I'm not--I'm not-- I'm not being a dick. 493 00:23:54,144 --> 00:23:57,546 I-I-seriously, I-I don't remember the gentleman's name. 494 00:23:57,581 --> 00:23:59,915 - Ross. - Roscoe. 495 00:23:59,950 --> 00:24:02,218 Yeah, roscoe. Good ol' roscoe. 496 00:24:02,252 --> 00:24:03,285 Did he behave himself? Did roscoe-- 497 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:04,754 - Tread carefully, Hank. 498 00:24:04,788 --> 00:24:05,955 - Why? What? I don't--I don't get it. 499 00:24:05,989 --> 00:24:07,556 - Becca has news. 500 00:24:07,591 --> 00:24:09,692 - Yes, she said that earlier, that she had news. 501 00:24:09,726 --> 00:24:11,861 - Now's not the time, mom. 502 00:24:11,895 --> 00:24:13,462 - You're right. I'm sorry. 503 00:24:13,497 --> 00:24:14,630 - No, no, no, now is the time. 504 00:24:14,664 --> 00:24:17,833 I just came clean. Your turn. 505 00:24:21,438 --> 00:24:23,639 - I'm getting married. - Wow. 506 00:24:23,673 --> 00:24:25,274 - Congratulations. - Uh, no, you're not. 507 00:24:25,308 --> 00:24:28,744 - I am, dad. - No, you're not. 508 00:24:28,779 --> 00:24:31,614 - Yeah, well, there's not a lot you can do about it, is there? 509 00:24:31,648 --> 00:24:33,048 Besides, don't you have your hands full 510 00:24:33,083 --> 00:24:34,850 At the moment, juggling your two families? 511 00:24:34,885 --> 00:24:36,652 - Becca, this is ridiculous. 512 00:24:36,686 --> 00:24:39,588 - Any more than this? - I love weddings. 513 00:24:39,623 --> 00:24:44,260 I mean, brother of the bride. Are you kidding me? 514 00:24:44,294 --> 00:24:46,228 I'm invited, right? 'cause I'll totally come. 515 00:24:46,263 --> 00:24:47,563 - Honey, I think we should go. 516 00:24:47,597 --> 00:24:49,498 - What about pizza and movie night? 517 00:24:49,533 --> 00:24:51,467 - Do it another time. - Don't bother. 518 00:24:51,501 --> 00:24:53,002 I wanna go home... - Okay, sweetie. 519 00:24:53,036 --> 00:24:56,272 Wherever the fuck that is these days. 520 00:24:59,676 --> 00:25:02,678 [gregory alan isakov's she always takes it black] 521 00:25:17,327 --> 00:25:20,763 - sorry, baby. 522 00:25:20,797 --> 00:25:23,032 - For what? 523 00:25:23,066 --> 00:25:25,868 - Where the fuck do I begin? 524 00:25:25,902 --> 00:25:27,670 - I'm not mad about Levon. 525 00:25:27,704 --> 00:25:31,207 It's kinda nice not being the only child anymore. 526 00:25:31,241 --> 00:25:33,175 I look forward to getting to know him, 527 00:25:33,210 --> 00:25:34,677 Sort of. 528 00:25:34,711 --> 00:25:38,514 He seems...Amusing. 529 00:25:38,548 --> 00:25:40,850 - He is. He's a good kid. 530 00:25:40,884 --> 00:25:42,485 That's very mature of you to acknowledge that, 531 00:25:42,519 --> 00:25:43,986 But that's not surprising. 532 00:25:44,020 --> 00:25:46,655 You were always the mature one in the family. 533 00:25:46,690 --> 00:25:48,991 - Ain't that the truth. 534 00:25:49,025 --> 00:25:51,527 - Yeah. 535 00:25:51,561 --> 00:25:54,497 So what's all this about you getting married? 536 00:25:54,531 --> 00:25:57,833 - Just that. I'm getting married. 537 00:25:57,868 --> 00:25:59,068 - I know you think you're all head over heels 538 00:25:59,102 --> 00:26:00,536 In love with this guy at this point-- 539 00:26:00,570 --> 00:26:03,506 - Please don't be condescending right now. 540 00:26:03,540 --> 00:26:05,841 In exchange, I promise not to be condescending 541 00:26:05,876 --> 00:26:09,411 About your latest in a long line of chronic fuck-ups. 542 00:26:09,446 --> 00:26:11,180 Deal? 543 00:26:11,214 --> 00:26:15,317 - My chronic fuck-ups aside, this is not a good idea, Becca. 544 00:26:15,352 --> 00:26:17,720 - Why? - 'cause you're so young. 545 00:26:17,754 --> 00:26:21,390 - I'm young, and you're old... 546 00:26:21,424 --> 00:26:22,992 Er. 547 00:26:23,026 --> 00:26:24,393 - Thank you. 548 00:26:24,427 --> 00:26:26,629 What's your point? 549 00:26:26,663 --> 00:26:28,163 - Looking back, can you honestly say 550 00:26:28,198 --> 00:26:30,633 That you're happy you never got married? 551 00:26:30,667 --> 00:26:31,767 Didn't it basically doom you 552 00:26:31,801 --> 00:26:33,202 To a lifetime of loneliness? 553 00:26:33,236 --> 00:26:34,904 - It's not about being married 554 00:26:34,938 --> 00:26:36,572 Or not being married, Becca. 555 00:26:36,606 --> 00:26:37,740 - What's it about then? - 556 00:26:37,774 --> 00:26:40,075 I don't know. 557 00:26:40,110 --> 00:26:42,878 Honestly, I couldn't tell you right now. 558 00:26:42,913 --> 00:26:45,848 But what are the odds that this particular clown-- 559 00:26:45,882 --> 00:26:50,119 This particular young gentleman is the one? 560 00:26:50,153 --> 00:26:52,187 - You're one to talk about odds. 561 00:26:52,222 --> 00:26:53,789 Didn't you get it right the first time? 562 00:26:53,823 --> 00:26:55,724 Isn't that what you're always bragging about? 563 00:26:55,759 --> 00:26:57,126 What makes you so fucking special? 564 00:26:57,160 --> 00:26:58,260 Why couldn't it happen to me too? 565 00:26:58,295 --> 00:26:59,595 - Okay, okay, so why the rush? 566 00:26:59,629 --> 00:27:03,032 - Because he asked, and I answered. 567 00:27:03,066 --> 00:27:06,168 And it feels right to me. I'm trusting my gut. 568 00:27:06,202 --> 00:27:09,204 I would think you of all people could understand that. 569 00:27:11,508 --> 00:27:15,210 - I cannot in good conscience endorse this shit, Becca. 570 00:27:18,148 --> 00:27:19,615 - You've got a lot of fucking nerve, dad, 571 00:27:19,649 --> 00:27:20,950 After all the shit you've asked me 572 00:27:20,984 --> 00:27:23,919 To endorse over the years? 573 00:27:23,954 --> 00:27:25,354 - That's fair, fair enough. 574 00:27:25,388 --> 00:27:27,923 - I come home with good news, great news, 575 00:27:27,958 --> 00:27:29,124 The biggest news in my life, 576 00:27:29,159 --> 00:27:30,593 And I can't even get it out 577 00:27:30,627 --> 00:27:31,827 Before I'm confronted with the wreckage 578 00:27:31,861 --> 00:27:35,631 Of your fucking past. 579 00:27:39,769 --> 00:27:42,538 - I'm sorry. 580 00:27:44,574 --> 00:27:48,010 I don't-- 581 00:27:48,044 --> 00:27:52,581 I don't know what else to say. 582 00:27:52,616 --> 00:27:56,218 - Yeah, me too. 583 00:27:56,252 --> 00:27:57,319 We're doing it in new york. 584 00:27:57,354 --> 00:27:58,854 You can be a part of it or not. 585 00:27:58,888 --> 00:28:01,256 Totally up to you. 586 00:28:01,291 --> 00:28:03,826 But it's happening. 587 00:28:03,860 --> 00:28:04,960 And I'm not gonna let you make me 588 00:28:04,995 --> 00:28:07,963 Fucking miserable about it.