1
00:00:02,554 --> 00:00:04,521
Oh, look who's back
reporting for duty.
2
00:00:04,556 --> 00:00:05,789
Hey, guys.
3
00:00:05,824 --> 00:00:07,557
All: Hey.
4
00:00:07,591 --> 00:00:09,326
Hey, Pam, ah!
5
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,094
Look what I can do now that
she's no longer pregnant.
6
00:00:11,128 --> 00:00:12,829
Bam, bam, bam, bam.
7
00:00:12,864 --> 00:00:14,331
Are you glad to be back?
8
00:00:14,365 --> 00:00:17,200
Yeah-- Yeah, I mean I could
have used another week or three.
9
00:00:17,235 --> 00:00:19,635
You still had eight weeks
more than we did.
10
00:00:19,670 --> 00:00:22,305
Well, it's not exactly
a vacation.
11
00:00:22,340 --> 00:00:23,438
- Hello, everyone.
- Hey.
12
00:00:23,473 --> 00:00:25,841
Remember?
Little old me, hi.
13
00:00:25,876 --> 00:00:27,009
What are you doing here?
14
00:00:27,043 --> 00:00:28,443
You just had our baby.
15
00:00:28,478 --> 00:00:31,780
Our collective,
Dunder Mifflin family baby.
16
00:00:31,814 --> 00:00:32,948
Four days ago.
17
00:00:32,983 --> 00:00:34,483
I wanted to come back to work.
18
00:00:34,517 --> 00:00:36,685
Not everybody needs
some long, luxurious,
19
00:00:36,719 --> 00:00:39,087
- Parisian maternity leave.
- What?
20
00:00:39,121 --> 00:00:41,356
Damn, girl, your body.
21
00:00:41,390 --> 00:00:43,157
Angela, you look amazing.
22
00:00:43,192 --> 00:00:46,827
Really? I feel like
this big rhinoceros.
23
00:00:46,862 --> 00:00:49,630
Anyway, I wanted to thank
you guys for covering for me,
24
00:00:49,664 --> 00:00:50,965
so I made some treats.
25
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,767
I've got brownies
and magic cookie bars.
26
00:00:52,801 --> 00:00:54,769
Nice.
27
00:00:54,803 --> 00:00:57,470
Oh, Angela, those brownies
have walnuts in them
28
00:00:57,505 --> 00:00:59,039
and I think Kevin's
allergic to walnuts.
29
00:00:59,073 --> 00:01:00,640
You're allergic to walnuts,
right, Kevin?
30
00:01:00,674 --> 00:01:03,010
Extremely, but I'm going
to fight through it.
31
00:01:03,044 --> 00:01:04,544
Aw, it's okay, Angela.
32
00:01:04,578 --> 00:01:05,913
I have mommy-brain too.
33
00:01:05,947 --> 00:01:07,747
I don't know what that is, Pam.
34
00:01:07,782 --> 00:01:09,749
I made a batch with no nuts,
special for you, Kevin.
35
00:01:09,784 --> 00:01:11,050
- It's right here.
- Ooh.
36
00:01:11,084 --> 00:01:12,385
When did you find time
to do all this?
37
00:01:12,419 --> 00:01:13,953
Babies sleep a lot, Pam.
38
00:01:13,987 --> 00:01:15,955
If you feed them enough.
39
00:01:15,989 --> 00:01:21,961
Brownie, Pam?
40
00:01:21,995 --> 00:01:24,931
Thank you.
41
00:01:24,965 --> 00:01:27,498
Oh, my gosh, it's really good.
42
00:01:27,533 --> 00:01:33,371
I wouldn't know,
I'm watching my weight.
43
00:01:33,406 --> 00:01:35,673
So, you guys, you know what's
an even more useful treat
44
00:01:35,707 --> 00:01:38,143
- is cash, so--
- Nope, it's over.
45
00:01:38,177 --> 00:01:40,045
- We wanted to say thank you--
- Nope. Okay.
46
00:01:40,079 --> 00:01:42,047
[Cheerful music]
47
00:01:42,759 --> 00:01:48,817
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
48
00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,021
Dwight, I have
exciting news for you.
49
00:01:51,056 --> 00:01:52,423
What?
50
00:01:52,457 --> 00:01:54,591
I think you're
going to like it.
51
00:01:54,625 --> 00:01:56,060
You can't tantalize me.
52
00:01:56,094 --> 00:01:57,894
Oh, maybe I can.
53
00:01:57,929 --> 00:02:00,696
I got an e-mail
from corporate
54
00:02:00,730 --> 00:02:06,035
- okay.
- That told me that you got a promotion.
55
00:02:06,070 --> 00:02:07,536
Right? I mean,
that's not the kind of thing
56
00:02:07,571 --> 00:02:09,238
you want to read
quietly at your desk.
57
00:02:09,273 --> 00:02:11,607
If you make me head of sales
one more time, I swear.
58
00:02:11,641 --> 00:02:12,908
No, this is legit.
59
00:02:12,943 --> 00:02:15,177
You will be assembling
a team to go to Tallahassee
60
00:02:15,211 --> 00:02:20,048
for three weeks to develop and
launch a chain of Sabre stores.
61
00:02:20,083 --> 00:02:23,618
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
62
00:02:23,652 --> 00:02:29,624
Yes, yes, yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes, yes.
63
00:02:29,658 --> 00:02:31,758
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
64
00:02:31,793 --> 00:02:33,094
The Schrutes have a word
for when everything
65
00:02:33,128 --> 00:02:36,097
in a man's life
comes together perfectly.
66
00:02:36,131 --> 00:02:38,165
Perfectenschlag.
67
00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,700
Right now, I am in it.
68
00:02:39,734 --> 00:02:41,969
I finally get a chance
to prove myself to corporate.
69
00:02:42,004 --> 00:02:44,438
I am assembling
a competent team.
70
00:02:44,473 --> 00:02:45,973
I am likely a father.
71
00:02:46,008 --> 00:02:50,276
I am so deep inside
of perfectenschlag right now.
72
00:02:50,311 --> 00:02:53,380
And, just to be clear,
there is a second definition,
73
00:02:53,414 --> 00:02:56,216
"perfect pork anus,"
which I don't mean.
74
00:02:56,250 --> 00:02:58,551
And here's the fax for you.
75
00:02:58,585 --> 00:03:00,753
And here's some facts for you.
76
00:03:00,787 --> 00:03:03,355
Did you know frogs
can hear with their lungs?
77
00:03:03,390 --> 00:03:07,259
And that flamingos can have
orgasms that last 30 minutes.
78
00:03:07,293 --> 00:03:08,994
Love to learn.
79
00:03:09,029 --> 00:03:11,130
Yeah, it's weird
that I said that last one.
80
00:03:11,164 --> 00:03:12,831
So...
81
00:03:12,865 --> 00:03:14,400
Uh, yeah, look at that.
82
00:03:14,434 --> 00:03:16,335
- We're pin twins.
- Pin twins.
83
00:03:16,369 --> 00:03:18,637
This is a gift from Jessica,
kind of a gag gift, really.
84
00:03:18,671 --> 00:03:20,338
Real gifts come later.
85
00:03:20,372 --> 00:03:22,473
Yeah, that's cute.
86
00:03:22,508 --> 00:03:26,844
When I saw it in CVS,
it made me gag too.
87
00:03:32,017 --> 00:03:33,984
For awhile there, I thought
something would change,
88
00:03:34,019 --> 00:03:36,286
but, nope,
Andy's still with Jessica.
89
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:38,422
They even carpool
together most days.
90
00:03:38,456 --> 00:03:42,959
I don't know, I wouldn't mind
carpooling every day with Andy.
91
00:03:42,993 --> 00:03:47,197
But I wouldn't want to spend
that much time with Jessica.
92
00:03:47,231 --> 00:03:53,202
What do we have here?
93
00:03:53,236 --> 00:03:55,204
Val knit me a beanie.
94
00:03:55,238 --> 00:03:57,173
But I can't tell if it's a
"we're just friends" beanie
95
00:03:57,207 --> 00:04:00,209
or a "I'm hot, you're hot,
let's get it popping" beanie.
96
00:04:00,243 --> 00:04:02,344
So I'm going to up the ante,
97
00:04:02,379 --> 00:04:05,847
give her
a clearly romantic gift.
98
00:04:05,882 --> 00:04:08,716
And we'll get
to the meaning of the beanie.
99
00:04:08,750 --> 00:04:11,186
Pam, pack up your
postnatal swimwear,
100
00:04:11,220 --> 00:04:13,154
make it a one-piece,
or this offer is rescinded,
101
00:04:13,189 --> 00:04:15,890
and join me for a fantastic
barbecue, one week from today,
102
00:04:15,924 --> 00:04:17,692
in Tallahassee, Florida,
where I'm going to be living
103
00:04:17,726 --> 00:04:19,026
for the next three weeks.
104
00:04:19,061 --> 00:04:20,395
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
105
00:04:20,429 --> 00:04:22,797
I'll fly anywhere
for some good barbecue.
106
00:04:22,831 --> 00:04:23,897
Ooh, me three.
107
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:25,466
[Imitates buzzer]
No plus-ones.
108
00:04:25,500 --> 00:04:27,767
This is for competent
workers only.
109
00:04:27,802 --> 00:04:30,571
And don't worry about the cost,
Sabre is footing the bill.
110
00:04:30,605 --> 00:04:31,738
Does this have anything
to do with
111
00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:32,772
what you were talking
to Andy about?
112
00:04:32,807 --> 00:04:38,044
God, you're such a spy.
113
00:04:38,079 --> 00:04:39,845
Notice anything
different about me?
114
00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:41,514
You're wearing the beanie.
115
00:04:41,548 --> 00:04:42,815
You like it?
116
00:04:42,849 --> 00:04:45,218
Super comfortable,
like sweatpants for my head.
117
00:04:45,252 --> 00:04:46,586
I love it too, Val.
118
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:49,855
It's really itchy,
but to be fair,
119
00:04:49,889 --> 00:04:51,524
my head is constantly itching.
120
00:04:51,558 --> 00:04:55,160
So I can't really
peg it on the hat.
121
00:04:55,194 --> 00:04:58,597
Wow, it's like
the nation of islam down here.
122
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,600
I like to knit.
Don't hate.
123
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,368
And who's that for?
124
00:05:03,402 --> 00:05:08,540
Oh, this is a gift
for my man, Nate, here.
125
00:05:08,574 --> 00:05:09,674
- What?
- Yeah.
126
00:05:09,708 --> 00:05:12,009
Darryl, you shouldn't have.
127
00:05:12,043 --> 00:05:14,178
- Can I open it?
- No, no, no, maybe just--
128
00:05:14,212 --> 00:05:17,114
Ah, I can't wait,
I'm sorry, I'm too excited.
129
00:05:21,953 --> 00:05:23,320
Darryl.
130
00:05:23,355 --> 00:05:24,888
Wow, those are really nice.
131
00:05:24,922 --> 00:05:27,490
- They're so elegant.
- Cashmere.
132
00:05:27,525 --> 00:05:28,525
How'd you know?
133
00:05:28,559 --> 00:05:31,561
Just a hunch.
134
00:05:31,595 --> 00:05:33,129
Your gift is on the way.
135
00:05:33,164 --> 00:05:35,598
Can't wait.
136
00:05:35,633 --> 00:05:38,468
I'm glad you're in my life,
happy Valentine's day.
137
00:05:38,502 --> 00:05:39,636
Oh, Darryl.
138
00:05:39,670 --> 00:05:42,705
I am glad to be
in your life too.
139
00:05:42,739 --> 00:05:48,577
Your card is more beautiful
than the gloves.
140
00:05:48,611 --> 00:05:52,714
My first task as Special
Project Manager, Dwight Schrute?
141
00:05:52,748 --> 00:05:54,849
Assembling a crack team.
142
00:05:54,884 --> 00:05:57,018
I need people who are loyal.
143
00:05:57,053 --> 00:05:58,887
People who will help me
get an inroad
144
00:05:58,921 --> 00:06:01,289
with the gay-hispanic
community.
145
00:06:01,323 --> 00:06:03,957
People who won't be missed.
146
00:06:03,992 --> 00:06:07,595
- We don't need idiots.
- This hurts.
147
00:06:07,629 --> 00:06:09,463
Good for nothings.
148
00:06:09,498 --> 00:06:11,599
Meth-heads.
149
00:06:11,633 --> 00:06:15,235
Or--
What's your name?
150
00:06:15,269 --> 00:06:16,403
Kathy.
151
00:06:16,437 --> 00:06:17,904
Kathy.
152
00:06:17,938 --> 00:06:23,042
[Phone beeps]
153
00:06:23,077 --> 00:06:24,611
I just got a text
from Robert California
154
00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:26,813
that says,
"bring your clubs to Florida."
155
00:06:26,847 --> 00:06:28,014
Why?
156
00:06:28,048 --> 00:06:29,549
Does he think
you're going to Florida?
157
00:06:29,584 --> 00:06:32,384
I hope not,
because I am not going.
158
00:06:32,419 --> 00:06:33,586
Two question marks.
159
00:06:33,620 --> 00:06:35,020
No, just do one.
160
00:06:35,054 --> 00:06:37,323
Two question marks
is kind of aggressive.
161
00:06:37,357 --> 00:06:39,491
You know, it's like,
"wh-- what?"
162
00:06:39,526 --> 00:06:42,261
Just do one.
163
00:06:42,295 --> 00:06:43,729
You want to take
Darryl, Phyllis,
164
00:06:43,763 --> 00:06:46,164
- Toby, Angela, and Oscar?
- Yes.
165
00:06:46,199 --> 00:06:48,633
Can I interest you
in someone less essential?
166
00:06:48,667 --> 00:06:51,336
Like a--
A Creed or a Meredith perhaps?
167
00:06:51,370 --> 00:06:53,204
- Oh, my God.
- They're not expendable,
168
00:06:53,239 --> 00:06:55,005
exactly, I just can't--
I can't think of the word
169
00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:56,107
I'm trying to find.
170
00:06:56,141 --> 00:06:57,342
Are you kidding me?
171
00:06:57,376 --> 00:06:59,244
I'm supposed to get on an
airplane with those nincompoops?
172
00:06:59,278 --> 00:07:00,478
We'd never
make it off the runway.
173
00:07:00,512 --> 00:07:02,280
All right, look, I got to keep
174
00:07:02,314 --> 00:07:04,781
this office functioning
somehow, so--
175
00:07:04,815 --> 00:07:06,550
I have put together a list.
176
00:07:06,584 --> 00:07:07,917
Here's your team.
177
00:07:07,952 --> 00:07:09,886
Darryl and Phyllis,
you can have.
178
00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,322
But you're also taking
Kathy, Kelly, and Kevin.
179
00:07:12,357 --> 00:07:13,523
Oh, God.
180
00:07:13,558 --> 00:07:14,558
You have your team.
181
00:07:14,592 --> 00:07:17,494
Kevin? Kelly? Kathy?
182
00:07:17,528 --> 00:07:20,095
Andy just gave me
a chain with three weak links.
183
00:07:20,130 --> 00:07:22,164
Have you ever tried to use
a chain with three weak links?
184
00:07:22,198 --> 00:07:25,134
I have, and now I no longer
own an arctic wolf.
185
00:07:28,546 --> 00:07:29,813
Well, let's hear it.
186
00:07:29,847 --> 00:07:30,914
"Robert, hey!"
Exclamation point.
187
00:07:30,948 --> 00:07:31,815
I like it so far.
188
00:07:31,849 --> 00:07:33,684
"Got your text, awesome idea.
189
00:07:33,718 --> 00:07:35,585
Let's hit the links
the next time you're in PA."
190
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:36,986
Dash, JH.
191
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:39,121
It's perfect.
192
00:07:39,155 --> 00:07:41,990
You emphasized the golf,
completely omit the Florida.
193
00:07:42,025 --> 00:07:43,225
Yeah, it's a golf text.
194
00:07:43,259 --> 00:07:45,828
Total golf text, send it.
195
00:07:45,862 --> 00:07:48,864
Done--
Wait, I just feel weird.
196
00:07:48,898 --> 00:07:50,232
I should just call him.
197
00:07:50,266 --> 00:07:52,735
You want to call someone
that texted you?
198
00:07:52,769 --> 00:07:55,837
Do you want to drive them away?
I mean--?
199
00:07:55,871 --> 00:07:57,439
[Phone rings]
200
00:07:57,473 --> 00:07:59,674
This is Darryl.
201
00:07:59,709 --> 00:08:01,909
Oh, sorry, I asked
for the main shipping number.
202
00:08:01,944 --> 00:08:03,378
I just need the address
for the warehouse.
203
00:08:03,412 --> 00:08:05,447
I want to send my girlfriend
some flowers.
204
00:08:05,481 --> 00:08:07,449
Your girlfriend?
205
00:08:07,483 --> 00:08:08,616
Is your girlfriend Val?
206
00:08:08,651 --> 00:08:11,184
Yeah, do you know her?
207
00:08:11,219 --> 00:08:15,823
We're friends, we're friends.
208
00:08:15,857 --> 00:08:19,059
Cool. Uh, so can I get
that address or--?
209
00:08:19,093 --> 00:08:22,195
Yeah, yeah, sorry,
I'm just looking for a pen.
210
00:08:22,230 --> 00:08:23,364
Why do you need a pen?
211
00:08:23,398 --> 00:08:25,432
Back off.
I got my reasons.
212
00:08:25,467 --> 00:08:27,132
May I have
your attention, please?
213
00:08:27,167 --> 00:08:29,301
Could Kathy, Phyllis, Darryl,
Kevin, and Kelly please
214
00:08:29,336 --> 00:08:31,003
join me in the conference room
immediately.
215
00:08:31,037 --> 00:08:32,572
- Why?
- Oh, no big deal.
216
00:08:32,606 --> 00:08:34,674
It's just that you five
have been deemed most deserving
217
00:08:34,708 --> 00:08:37,042
of a three-week,
all expenses paid business trip
218
00:08:37,077 --> 00:08:38,310
to Tallahassee, Florida.
219
00:08:38,345 --> 00:08:39,612
Hell, yeah.
220
00:08:39,646 --> 00:08:41,013
What?
221
00:08:41,047 --> 00:08:42,314
Oh, I'm sorry, Stanley.
222
00:08:42,349 --> 00:08:43,515
I can't share any more
details with you.
223
00:08:43,549 --> 00:08:45,984
You see, Andy rejected you.
224
00:08:46,018 --> 00:08:47,853
Wait, Kathy gets to go?
225
00:08:47,887 --> 00:08:49,220
Why does she even
still work here?
226
00:08:49,255 --> 00:08:50,889
Pam is back.
227
00:08:50,923 --> 00:08:52,223
It just feels like
a slap in the face.
228
00:08:52,258 --> 00:08:53,859
I can understand your pain
and your rage,
229
00:08:53,893 --> 00:08:55,660
but you know what?
Andy is an honorable man,
230
00:08:55,695 --> 00:08:57,061
let us not question
his choices.
231
00:08:57,096 --> 00:08:59,162
I'm sure he had his reasons.
232
00:08:59,197 --> 00:09:00,464
We're not questioning
his reasons.
233
00:09:00,499 --> 00:09:01,732
I just want to know
what they are.
234
00:09:01,767 --> 00:09:03,100
I know, you and me both,
brother.
235
00:09:03,134 --> 00:09:05,102
It seemed kind of random to me,
but he was pretty clear
236
00:09:05,136 --> 00:09:06,637
on who he thought
truly deserved
237
00:09:06,671 --> 00:09:08,238
this boondoggle of a lifetime.
238
00:09:08,273 --> 00:09:09,774
Well, he nailed it.
239
00:09:09,808 --> 00:09:12,976
Because I do deserve
a vacation.
240
00:09:13,011 --> 00:09:14,911
Sometimes Batman's
got to take off his cape.
241
00:09:14,945 --> 00:09:16,212
Good point,
242
00:09:16,246 --> 00:09:17,980
but we're going to be working
pretty hard until 5:00 P.M.
243
00:09:18,015 --> 00:09:20,983
After that, it's gonna be
beach volleyball,
244
00:09:21,018 --> 00:09:22,218
trips to Cape Canaveral,
245
00:09:22,252 --> 00:09:24,721
and sea-kayaking
with Gloria Estefan.
246
00:09:24,755 --> 00:09:26,489
What were the criteria
for going?
247
00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:29,826
It might be innate goodness
versus innate badness.
248
00:09:29,860 --> 00:09:33,462
But there's an easy way
to find out.
249
00:09:33,496 --> 00:09:37,399
Oh, Andy,
got a few questions for you.
250
00:09:37,434 --> 00:09:39,768
Moshi moshi.
251
00:09:39,803 --> 00:09:42,203
Uh, the Florida picks got out,
252
00:09:42,238 --> 00:09:43,772
and people were just
kind of curious
253
00:09:43,807 --> 00:09:45,373
as to why they weren't picked,
254
00:09:45,408 --> 00:09:47,074
and maybe you could
just clarify.
255
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:52,547
Uh, well, the deliberations
were confidential,
256
00:09:52,581 --> 00:09:55,015
so I feel like
we should respect that.
257
00:09:55,050 --> 00:09:56,250
Respect it?
258
00:09:56,284 --> 00:09:57,585
You're trying to tell me
Kevin Malone
259
00:09:57,619 --> 00:09:59,253
deserves more
than Stanley Hudson?
260
00:09:59,287 --> 00:10:00,688
Hey.
261
00:10:00,722 --> 00:10:02,456
Okay, it's obvious
that Andy picked the people
262
00:10:02,490 --> 00:10:04,624
that are least important
to the office.
263
00:10:04,659 --> 00:10:05,859
Important?
264
00:10:05,893 --> 00:10:07,393
Oh, because you and your
enormous monster-baby
265
00:10:07,428 --> 00:10:08,728
are so important to the branch.
266
00:10:08,763 --> 00:10:10,597
My baby is not a monster.
267
00:10:10,631 --> 00:10:12,766
Hey, be proud of your
enormous monster-baby.
268
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,835
I was once
an enormous monster-baby.
269
00:10:14,869 --> 00:10:19,404
Guys, guys, guys,
come on, seriously?
270
00:10:19,439 --> 00:10:23,275
We cannot let this trip
cause this kind of rift, guys.
271
00:10:23,309 --> 00:10:24,643
Stop calling us "guys."
272
00:10:24,678 --> 00:10:28,113
I use the word "guys"
a lot when I'm nervous.
273
00:10:28,147 --> 00:10:29,114
Guys.
274
00:10:29,148 --> 00:10:31,951
- Guys, guys, guys.
- Andy, please.
275
00:10:31,985 --> 00:10:33,586
Stop it, Andy.
276
00:10:33,620 --> 00:10:35,219
- Dudes--
- Andy.
277
00:10:35,253 --> 00:10:37,254
The dudes
who are going to Florida
278
00:10:37,289 --> 00:10:39,791
were picked by Dwight and me.
279
00:10:39,825 --> 00:10:42,093
Okay, hey, I specifically
remember that there were
280
00:10:42,127 --> 00:10:45,129
a lot of other people
I thought should be considered.
281
00:10:45,163 --> 00:10:46,998
If anybody's going
to Florida, it should be me.
282
00:10:47,032 --> 00:10:48,800
Every shirt that I have
that isn't a work shirt
283
00:10:48,834 --> 00:10:50,301
is a Tommy Bahama.
284
00:10:50,335 --> 00:10:53,036
I'm the only person in this
office who watches Burn Notice.
285
00:10:53,070 --> 00:10:55,305
Okay, I did not realize
that so many of you
286
00:10:55,339 --> 00:10:56,573
wanted to go so badly.
287
00:10:56,608 --> 00:10:58,842
So if you feel like
you have a very good reason
288
00:10:58,877 --> 00:11:00,310
to go to Florida,
I'm happy to hear you out.
289
00:11:00,344 --> 00:11:01,812
Great idea.
290
00:11:01,846 --> 00:11:03,547
So why doesn't everyone just
take the next five to six hours,
291
00:11:03,581 --> 00:11:05,115
come up with a statement
on why you feel you deserve
292
00:11:05,149 --> 00:11:06,916
to go to Florida, and Andy
and I will listen to it.
293
00:11:06,950 --> 00:11:08,484
No, that is a ridiculous
waste of time.
294
00:11:08,519 --> 00:11:09,752
For you, maybe.
295
00:11:09,786 --> 00:11:11,453
- Five to six hours?
- Three to four hours.
296
00:11:11,488 --> 00:11:13,322
- No, no, no, no.
- Just two to three hours--
297
00:11:13,356 --> 00:11:15,791
come up with a statement
over the next hour.
298
00:11:15,826 --> 00:11:17,359
30 minutes.
299
00:11:17,394 --> 00:11:19,294
I'm out.
300
00:11:19,329 --> 00:11:20,429
Okay, read it back to me.
301
00:11:20,463 --> 00:11:21,797
"Robert, great offer."
302
00:11:21,832 --> 00:11:23,197
Wish I could hit the links
with you in Florida,
303
00:11:23,232 --> 00:11:25,466
but a father of a newborn
really should be helping out
304
00:11:25,501 --> 00:11:26,668
"his wife
any chance he gets."
305
00:11:26,702 --> 00:11:29,137
Good, doesn't sound pushy.
306
00:11:29,171 --> 00:11:30,338
You're just stating a fact.
307
00:11:30,372 --> 00:11:32,306
Absolutely.
Works for me.
308
00:11:32,341 --> 00:11:35,677
- Okay, sending.
- Well done.
309
00:11:35,711 --> 00:11:37,478
And we managed to kill
the entire morning.
310
00:11:37,513 --> 00:11:38,446
We really did.
311
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:40,681
[Phone beeps]
312
00:11:45,053 --> 00:11:47,220
He responded "LOL."
313
00:11:47,255 --> 00:11:49,723
[Laughs loudly]
314
00:11:55,395 --> 00:11:57,697
I have a new swimsuit
I need to break in.
315
00:11:57,731 --> 00:11:59,498
I already picked my team.
316
00:11:59,533 --> 00:12:02,201
Darryl, Oscar, Angela,
Phyllis, and Toby.
317
00:12:02,235 --> 00:12:04,170
And that is the team
that I am taking.
318
00:12:04,204 --> 00:12:05,504
What's that?
It's not up to me?
319
00:12:05,539 --> 00:12:07,406
I only have influence?
320
00:12:07,441 --> 00:12:10,309
Well, that's all
Baltzer Glattfielder had,
321
00:12:10,343 --> 00:12:13,712
and now no one
eats owls for Thanksgiving.
322
00:12:13,746 --> 00:12:15,547
You have two young,
dynamic people in this office
323
00:12:15,582 --> 00:12:17,616
who know trends,
who know youth.
324
00:12:17,650 --> 00:12:20,752
That's myself and Kelly Kapoor.
You need one of us there.
325
00:12:20,787 --> 00:12:22,487
Or both.
326
00:12:22,521 --> 00:12:24,489
Not both.
Just one. Me.
327
00:12:24,523 --> 00:12:26,624
Or if not me, Kelly.
Ideally, me.
328
00:12:26,658 --> 00:12:28,292
Again, youth knowledge.
329
00:12:28,326 --> 00:12:29,994
That's what you get
when you put Ryan Howard
330
00:12:30,028 --> 00:12:31,395
on your Special Project Team.
331
00:12:31,429 --> 00:12:36,133
Or Kelly Kapoor.
Again, not both. Thanks.
332
00:12:36,167 --> 00:12:37,668
Very impressive.
333
00:12:37,703 --> 00:12:39,403
He put a lot of work into that.
334
00:12:39,437 --> 00:12:42,506
Powerpoints are the peacocks
of the business world.
335
00:12:42,540 --> 00:12:44,674
All show, no meat.
336
00:12:44,709 --> 00:12:46,542
Because I feel like
that I'm at a place
337
00:12:46,577 --> 00:12:48,377
with my gambling rehab
338
00:12:48,412 --> 00:12:51,915
that I can finally start
going to dog racing again.
339
00:12:51,949 --> 00:12:56,820
You know, just sitting,
watching, enjoying the sport.
340
00:12:56,854 --> 00:12:59,054
Maybe putting down a few
dollars, if there's, like,
341
00:12:59,089 --> 00:13:01,389
a crazy mismatch or something.
342
00:13:01,424 --> 00:13:03,425
Okay, thank you, Kevin.
We'll let you know.
343
00:13:03,459 --> 00:13:05,260
- Thank you.
- When do we leave?
344
00:13:05,294 --> 00:13:06,829
Thank you.
345
00:13:06,863 --> 00:13:10,065
It has been a long,
lonely winter.
346
00:13:10,100 --> 00:13:13,936
Wow, seasonal affective
disorder, aka, "SAD."
347
00:13:13,970 --> 00:13:16,771
That sounds like
a very real thing, Toby.
348
00:13:16,805 --> 00:13:19,641
It is real.
Thank you for saying that.
349
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:21,676
Yeah, wow, it's almost like
350
00:13:21,710 --> 00:13:26,547
we're not all experiencing
the same winter.
351
00:13:26,581 --> 00:13:27,949
"Florida Stanley" smiles.
352
00:13:27,983 --> 00:13:30,151
"Florida Stanley"
is happy to go to work.
353
00:13:30,185 --> 00:13:35,522
"Florida Stanley" is who
you want on your Florida team.
354
00:13:35,556 --> 00:13:37,724
It's still, well--
355
00:13:37,759 --> 00:13:39,760
Hey, guys, any spots left?
356
00:13:39,794 --> 00:13:41,594
Erin, you want
to go to Tallahassee?
357
00:13:41,629 --> 00:13:43,864
I do.
I really do.
358
00:13:43,898 --> 00:13:46,366
I think it would be
a nice way to clear my head.
359
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,801
You know, I don't think
it's a good idea for you
360
00:13:48,835 --> 00:13:51,070
to clear your head anymore
than it has been already.
361
00:13:51,104 --> 00:13:53,706
I think you need a workplace
where the burdens
362
00:13:53,740 --> 00:13:56,809
of everyday life keep you
tethered to reality.
363
00:13:56,843 --> 00:13:58,210
Either or.
364
00:13:58,244 --> 00:14:01,080
But if you can find someone
to fill in, I would love to go.
365
00:14:01,114 --> 00:14:04,415
Well, it wouldn't be hard
to find someone to fill in.
366
00:14:04,449 --> 00:14:08,153
Really?
Oh, great, good.
367
00:14:08,187 --> 00:14:10,822
Now, is it too dark to say
that Cece's having an operation?
368
00:14:10,856 --> 00:14:13,958
I think you
need to go to Florida.
369
00:14:13,993 --> 00:14:15,660
I think you're right.
370
00:14:15,695 --> 00:14:16,995
It's only for three weeks.
371
00:14:17,029 --> 00:14:19,763
You know, with my mom and sister
at the house it'll be--
372
00:14:19,798 --> 00:14:22,032
- A total nightmare.
- I was going to say,
373
00:14:22,067 --> 00:14:23,734
"good, because I'll have
all the help I need."
374
00:14:23,768 --> 00:14:25,169
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
375
00:14:25,203 --> 00:14:26,369
They're incredibly helpful.
You're lucky to have them.
376
00:14:26,404 --> 00:14:27,604
I mean, with them there,
377
00:14:27,638 --> 00:14:29,173
you probably
won't even know I'm gone.
378
00:14:29,207 --> 00:14:31,975
Exactly.
379
00:14:32,010 --> 00:14:33,610
Well--
380
00:14:33,644 --> 00:14:36,212
No, no, absolutely not.
381
00:14:36,246 --> 00:14:38,647
You are not going.
Over my dead body, no.
382
00:14:38,682 --> 00:14:41,217
Tunes, I'm really sorry.
383
00:14:41,251 --> 00:14:42,952
You're too essential
to the operation here.
384
00:14:42,986 --> 00:14:44,286
I can't let you go.
385
00:14:44,321 --> 00:14:46,388
I wouldn't say that.
That's a bit much.
386
00:14:46,423 --> 00:14:47,523
You know, Dwight,
if you didn't want me to go,
387
00:14:47,557 --> 00:14:48,891
the smart move would be
to tell Andy
388
00:14:48,926 --> 00:14:50,559
that I actually am
essential to the operation.
389
00:14:50,594 --> 00:14:52,493
That way I couldn't go.
390
00:14:52,528 --> 00:14:53,729
Jim is essential to--
391
00:14:53,763 --> 00:14:56,698
Hold on, just want
to get it on camera.
392
00:14:56,733 --> 00:15:00,802
Andy,
Jim is just too ess--
393
00:15:00,837 --> 00:15:02,070
Essential.
394
00:15:02,105 --> 00:15:03,805
This is stupid.
Cut.
395
00:15:03,840 --> 00:15:05,207
All right, I'm going
to pack my trunks.
396
00:15:05,241 --> 00:15:06,608
He doesn't even want to go.
397
00:15:06,642 --> 00:15:08,976
Well, I got a text from RC
inviting me to come down,
398
00:15:09,010 --> 00:15:12,613
so I think that's going
to make us roommates.
399
00:15:12,647 --> 00:15:13,547
Oh, my God.
400
00:15:13,581 --> 00:15:15,082
Hey, quick question.
401
00:15:15,117 --> 00:15:16,516
Do you shower at night
or do you shower in the morning?
402
00:15:16,551 --> 00:15:17,985
Because I want to shower
when you're showering
403
00:15:18,019 --> 00:15:21,588
to save some water.
404
00:15:21,623 --> 00:15:23,056
Okay, listen up, everyone.
405
00:15:23,090 --> 00:15:24,490
Here's who's going to Florida.
406
00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:25,892
- Kathy.
- What?
407
00:15:25,926 --> 00:15:27,260
- Stanley.
- No.
408
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,294
- Ryan.
- No.
409
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:29,662
- Erin.
- Fuck.
410
00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:31,264
And Jim.
411
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,732
You got to be
fucking kidding me.
412
00:15:32,767 --> 00:15:36,803
Okay, okay.
413
00:15:36,837 --> 00:15:38,837
Florida group,
welcome to the team.
414
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:45,043
Aah!
415
00:15:48,861 --> 00:15:51,695
Let's go.
Step it up, you runts.
416
00:15:51,729 --> 00:15:53,263
Infants, let's move.
417
00:15:53,298 --> 00:15:54,898
Why is it so hot in here?
418
00:15:54,933 --> 00:15:57,067
Hot?
What are you talking about?
419
00:15:57,101 --> 00:15:59,036
This is a nice,
temperate, Florida morning.
420
00:15:59,070 --> 00:16:01,238
85 degrees, 73% humidity.
421
00:16:01,272 --> 00:16:03,740
This is the exact environment
that you will be facing
422
00:16:03,774 --> 00:16:05,909
for the next three weeks
of your life.
423
00:16:05,944 --> 00:16:09,212
Welcome to Special Projects
Orientation.
424
00:16:09,246 --> 00:16:10,947
The next three weeks
of your life
425
00:16:10,981 --> 00:16:14,884
are going to be the most
miserable you've ever faced.
426
00:16:14,918 --> 00:16:17,786
They're going to be hard,
they're going to be dirty.
427
00:16:17,821 --> 00:16:20,289
You're going to wish
you were dead.
428
00:16:20,324 --> 00:16:21,724
But.
429
00:16:21,758 --> 00:16:23,591
But?
There's no buts.
430
00:16:23,625 --> 00:16:25,293
That's it,
you'll wish you were dead.
431
00:16:25,328 --> 00:16:27,795
You seem a little disturbed,
do you want to stay here?
432
00:16:27,830 --> 00:16:29,197
No, no, I want to go.
433
00:16:29,232 --> 00:16:31,766
Because if any of you
would prefer to stay here,
434
00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:34,936
all you need to do
is ring this bell.
435
00:16:34,971 --> 00:16:36,604
Is that the buzzer from Taboo?
436
00:16:36,638 --> 00:16:38,706
- Shut up, maggot!
- It is.
437
00:16:38,741 --> 00:16:40,274
You don't want to go,
ring the bell.
438
00:16:40,308 --> 00:16:42,343
Ring it, ring it.
439
00:16:42,377 --> 00:16:46,813
How many of you have seen
the documentary Deliverance?
440
00:16:46,848 --> 00:16:48,883
How did a mosquito get in here?
441
00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:51,318
I released 300 mosquitoes
into the conference room.
442
00:16:51,353 --> 00:16:52,819
Just temporarily.
443
00:16:52,854 --> 00:16:58,591
When I'm done, the frogs will
take care of the mosquitoes.
444
00:16:58,625 --> 00:17:02,262
Yes, then he brushes your soft,
supple cheeks
445
00:17:02,296 --> 00:17:05,131
with his worn,
leathery hands and says,
446
00:17:05,165 --> 00:17:08,935
"I'm going to make you
the seventh Mrs. Rosenblatt."
447
00:17:08,969 --> 00:17:10,536
Unless you ring the bell,
ring it.
448
00:17:10,570 --> 00:17:11,669
- No.
- Ring the bell.
449
00:17:11,704 --> 00:17:12,871
You want to spend
the rest of your life
450
00:17:12,906 --> 00:17:14,472
changing your husband's
colostomy bags?
451
00:17:14,507 --> 00:17:15,774
Huh, do you?
452
00:17:15,808 --> 00:17:18,176
Ring it. Ah.
[Bell rings]
453
00:17:18,211 --> 00:17:19,177
What was that?
454
00:17:19,212 --> 00:17:22,147
Mosquito.
455
00:17:27,052 --> 00:17:30,587
Orientation's over.
456
00:17:30,622 --> 00:17:32,390
Oh, Darryl, hey.
457
00:17:32,424 --> 00:17:33,557
Hey, what's up?
You called?
458
00:17:33,591 --> 00:17:35,626
Yeah, you know,
I felt really terrible
459
00:17:35,660 --> 00:17:37,228
that you got me
these lovely gloves
460
00:17:37,262 --> 00:17:38,362
and I didn't get you anything.
461
00:17:38,397 --> 00:17:39,530
It's cool, really.
462
00:17:39,564 --> 00:17:41,299
No, it's anything but cool.
463
00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:43,900
Now, I haven't
really had time to go out
464
00:17:43,935 --> 00:17:48,138
and buy you anything,
but here goes.
465
00:17:48,172 --> 00:17:51,808
- "This coupon entitles you to
one free tickle-monster attack."
466
00:17:51,842 --> 00:17:53,310
Yeah, they're Nate coupons,
467
00:17:53,344 --> 00:17:55,511
or "Na-pons,"
and they're all different.
468
00:17:55,546 --> 00:17:58,214
Cash that one in and I will
bring you a stick of gum.
469
00:17:58,249 --> 00:18:01,817
Any time, any place.
I'll find you.
470
00:18:01,851 --> 00:18:05,988
Thanks.
471
00:18:06,022 --> 00:18:06,855
Nice flowers.
472
00:18:06,889 --> 00:18:09,658
Thanks, they're from my mom.
473
00:18:09,692 --> 00:18:13,929
- Your mom?
- Yeah.
474
00:18:13,964 --> 00:18:16,130
Oh, so I guess
that was your mom
475
00:18:16,165 --> 00:18:18,632
who called me earlier
looking for the address?
476
00:18:18,667 --> 00:18:20,401
Real deep-voiced woman.
477
00:18:20,436 --> 00:18:22,036
Yeah, that's her.
478
00:18:22,071 --> 00:18:24,738
She said her name
was Brandon, I think.
479
00:18:24,773 --> 00:18:28,042
Your mom's name is Brandon?
480
00:18:28,077 --> 00:18:31,911
Yeah, Darryl,
my mom's name is Brandon.
481
00:18:36,584 --> 00:18:38,618
I guess I figured out
where I stand.
482
00:18:38,652 --> 00:18:42,655
This is a love beanie.
483
00:18:44,792 --> 00:18:48,627
Okay, Florida Team,
let's reconvene.
484
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:02,674
I'm going to Florida
and I'm not coming back.
485
00:19:04,943 --> 00:19:07,112
So Sabre has setup
a conference room for our use
486
00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:08,913
while we're at corporate.
487
00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:10,581
So what is this
Special Project?
488
00:19:10,616 --> 00:19:12,750
Basically, Sabre has
tasked us with helping them
489
00:19:12,784 --> 00:19:14,252
branch into
the retail marketplace.
490
00:19:14,286 --> 00:19:16,221
They want to setup their own
version of an Apple Store.
491
00:19:16,255 --> 00:19:17,555
That sounds awesome.
492
00:19:17,589 --> 00:19:19,589
It did, it did.
493
00:19:19,624 --> 00:19:20,991
You know what might
be great is if instead
494
00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:23,593
of a genius bar,
we have a lounge area
495
00:19:23,628 --> 00:19:25,729
where people can ask questions
about the product
496
00:19:25,763 --> 00:19:27,898
with other customers
who liked it.
497
00:19:27,932 --> 00:19:29,666
Yeah, and they should
have a place where people
498
00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:32,102
can check their computers
or printers before they see you
499
00:19:32,137 --> 00:19:34,804
so you don't have
to carry it around like a dope.
500
00:19:34,839 --> 00:19:36,872
Like a coat check.
501
00:19:41,111 --> 00:19:42,545
Oh, don't write it down
unless you like it.
502
00:19:42,579 --> 00:19:44,414
Oh, I like it.
503
00:19:44,448 --> 00:19:45,681
It seems to me
that the Apple Store
504
00:19:45,715 --> 00:19:46,815
is kind of like a party,
505
00:19:46,850 --> 00:19:48,351
so I think our question is,
506
00:19:48,385 --> 00:19:49,652
"how do we make this
a better party?"
507
00:19:49,686 --> 00:19:51,453
No, we sell business tools,
508
00:19:51,487 --> 00:19:53,255
and the stores
need to reflect that.
509
00:19:53,289 --> 00:19:54,756
They need to be all business.
510
00:19:54,790 --> 00:19:57,325
Let all the other stores
look like a toy store.
511
00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:02,830
Right, think different
from Apple.
512
00:20:02,865 --> 00:20:04,299
Dwight, is now
a good time to go over
513
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:08,436
what you expect of us?
514
00:20:12,941 --> 00:20:14,007
Yes.
515
00:20:14,042 --> 00:20:15,976
What are my expectations
for the group?
516
00:20:16,010 --> 00:20:17,945
I had been given
the responsibility
517
00:20:17,979 --> 00:20:19,780
to manage Stanley,
a solid player.
518
00:20:19,814 --> 00:20:21,882
Ryan, who is capable
of surprises.
519
00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:23,916
Erin, an excellent follower.
520
00:20:23,951 --> 00:20:27,287
And Kathy, a probably not
totally useless enigma.
521
00:20:27,321 --> 00:20:30,156
And, well, Jim.
522
00:20:30,191 --> 00:20:34,994
Under the right manager,
that's not a bad team.
523
00:20:35,028 --> 00:20:36,796
Perfectenschlag.
524
00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:44,760
I don't know how I'm going
to live here without you.
525
00:20:44,794 --> 00:20:45,727
Me neither.
526
00:20:45,762 --> 00:20:47,696
Hey, will you put this coat
on my chair?
527
00:20:47,730 --> 00:20:49,265
I just realized I'm not
going to need it down there.
528
00:20:49,299 --> 00:20:51,599
Yes, I will take your coat
and I will keep it with me.
529
00:20:51,633 --> 00:20:53,768
And I will sleep with it,
because it smells like you.
530
00:20:53,802 --> 00:20:57,138
No, no, no, no,
just put it on my chair.
531
00:20:57,173 --> 00:20:58,039
- All right.
- Bye.
532
00:20:58,074 --> 00:20:59,140
Bye.
533
00:20:59,175 --> 00:21:01,576
- Call me when you land.
- I will.
534
00:21:01,610 --> 00:21:03,144
Safe travels.
535
00:21:03,179 --> 00:21:04,412
Goodbye.
536
00:21:04,447 --> 00:21:06,547
For a very, very long time.
537
00:21:06,581 --> 00:21:09,083
Hmm?
Okay.
538
00:21:09,117 --> 00:21:15,088
It's only three weeks.
539
00:21:15,122 --> 00:21:17,323
All expenses paid.
540
00:21:17,357 --> 00:21:18,724
Yeah, Jim's going to be there.
541
00:21:18,758 --> 00:21:23,563
That marriage is not good.
Nobody knows better than me.
542
00:21:23,597 --> 00:21:25,030
Definitely we will.
543
00:21:25,065 --> 00:21:28,267
It's three weeks in Tallahassee.
What else is there to do?
544
00:21:30,791 --> 00:21:37,097
Sync and corrections by n17t01
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