The old heated doorknob. Nice try.
Lester, you still giving me the silent treatment?
Okay.
Everybody, good morning.
Good morning.
Your coffee, sir.
Ah, Jeffrey, thank you so much.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
You know, call me old-fashioned, but...
I just... I prefer cream over laxative.
I need everybody's attention.
I know some of you are unhappy that I'm running the Buy More.
I'm sorry.
But all your little tricks and your tactics...
I know them all.
I taught you them.
So listen up.
No more sabotage.
Thank you.
Lester, you're in my chair.
If there's one thing I learned in Hawaii,
is that I'm good at this, men.
I am good at the Buy More.
Do me a favor and grab Chuck for me?
Could somebody grab Chuck for me?
Hey, Jeff, can you send Chuck back here for me?
Chuck!
Casey, I want to ask you about a Beastmaster.
Really?
No, not really.
Hey, have we got any more info
on you-know-who down in Castle?
- Shaw? - Yeah, yeah, Shaw.
I'm busy here, Chuck. Why don't you
talk to him yourself? He's living there.
Living in Castle. What? What?!
Casey, what's going on?
Is he really in charge of our team?
Shaw's a special agent for the CIA.
He can do pretty much whatever he wants.
Even more special than me?
It gets worse.
Whenever a special agent takes over an operation,
they conduct a review.
Sarah's in there with him right now.
What do you think they're talking about?
Is Chuck Bartkowski a real spy?
Yes, of course he is.
I mean, his training has been irregular
and he was a civilian only two years ago.
Well, these mission reports tell a different story.
Sometimes he sounds like Bond,
and other times it's like a Jerry Lewis movie.
I need to know,
is Chuck a liability?
Wait. The review's about me?!
Shouldn't Shaw be asking me about me?
Where's the fun in that?
Look, I am never gonna be able to escape this ridiculous cover
if Shaw thinks I'm some moron civilian
who just got unlucky enough to get
a computer dumped in his head.
Fine.
Help.
Morgan, did you get glued to a chair?
Yes. Yes, I did, okay?
The whole store's coming after me, dude.
Lester went mute and refuses to talk to me.
Maybe 'cause you fired him?
I don't know.
They've teamed up and formed,
like, an evil cabal of tricksters.
I haven't had an untainted cup of coffee in days.
I need my free coffee, dude.
You know, you give me five minutes running
this popsicle stand, and we'd be ready.
Ready for what?
The Russians.
Corrected by Lawman666 and by 4be1 www.addic7ed.com
Hey. Hey-hey-hey-hey.
Guys, a little help.
Is that... is that Shaw?
Listen, I'm an integral member of this team, okay?
My voice should be heard.
Oh, your prepubescent little girl screams
are gonna be duly noted.
Actually, right now. He wants to see you.
Look, Shaw, I'm quite certain that things have been said
about either myself or my abilities as a spy,
and while I concede that there are more traditional
or professional spies out there...
Chuck, this is my meeting.
Right. Sorry.
Please continue.
I think we can all agree that this team
has been dysfunctional the last two years.
And I think I know what the problem is.
The problem is them.
What?
What does that mean?
It means he's a moron.
Chuck, they coddle you.
You could be a great spy, but they won't let you evolve.
Really?
I mean, yes, yes, really. He's right.
Let me be a spy.
Let me out of the car. I'm ready.
No, Shaw, he's not.
Duly noted... and ignored.
Chuck, you're going on your first solo mission
Undercover in Paris.
Are you ready?
Absolutely.
Um, so what are we doing here exactly?
Since your Intersect skills can be glitchy,
you'll need some basic spycraft
for this mission.
Have you ever used one of these?
A pen?
KGB-model tranq pen.
Oh, yeah, Casey's got one of these.
Aim it at your target's food or drink,
and it's bedtime for bad guy.
You want me to tranq Jeff?
I can't do that.
I've read everyone's file.
Jeff Barnes will be just fine.
Come on, Chuck, are you up for this?
Yeah.
Hey, Jeffy-Jeff.
How's it hanging, brother?
- Everything okay? - Yeah.
Um, what do you mean, "okay"?
What are you doing?
You don't usually check up on me like this.
Did I do something wrong?
No, no, no, no, buddy.
Everything's fine.
You're fine, work's fine, you know.
This is more of a checking in.
Just making sure that you're feeling okay.
Just a little human-
to-humanoid
interaction, so...
Good.
Thanks, yeah. Little bit of a rocky start,
but I think I finished strong. What's next?
Let's go.
You're ready.
Wh... whoa. I am?
I'm ready after 20 seconds?
After two years.
I just wanted to talk to you privately, Chuck.
Listen, you've been on more missions
than most spies have been in a lifetime.
Trust me, you're ready.
Ah...
Freshly brewed, untouched by Jeff's lips.
Checkmate, Lester. Checkmate.
As assistant manager,
I claim this cup of coffee for me.
Mmm.
Okay, that's what I'm talking...
You guys got to understand something.
You got to get up pretty early to get...
a CIA contact will meet you in Paris.
You're traveling as Carmichael,
a successful businessman.
Itinerary and passport.
Guys, it's all good. I'm ready, okay?
What are these?
Nunchakus.
You know very well
that I don't like carrying guns around.
But I thought it wouldn't be such a bad idea to have
some kind of offensive weapon, you know,
just to have with me just in case.
And they're supposed to be in the Intersect, so...
Casey, can I have a second?
Hmm? Yeah.
Listen, I know you want this
to work and you want to impress Shaw, but this is crazy.
Okay, fine, the nunchakus are a little crazy.
You weren't supposed to see those.
But Shaw... an honest-to-God,
real-life special agent for the CIA...
Thinks that I'm ready.
He thinks that I can do it,
and I want to prove to him that he's not wrong about me.
I'm not saying that you can't do this,
but please...
Please just don't go now.
Okay? You need more time.
He's going.
Beckman agrees with me.
We set up a subnetwork on your phone.
You'll be able to text and call from the plane.
Your ticket, and your car's waiting outside.
You'll receive further instructions in Paris.
Oh, daddy!
First class!
That is...
probably what you do for everybody.
Okay, well, see ya later.
I hope.
Thank you.
Welcome to first class, sir.
May I take your jacket?
You want to take my jack...
Oh, yes, of course. Yes, sorry about that.
There we go.
Oh, actually, you know what?
If I can just... Gotta get my phone
and writing utensil. Okay.
- Lucky pen? - Huh?
Lucky pen?
No, uh, no, just a... just a regular ol' pen-pen.
Okay.
I'm Chuck, by the way. I mean, Charles.
I mean, my name is Charles,
but my friends call me Chuck.
I'm Hannah. Just Hannah, Chuck.
Good, that makes it easy.
Nice to meet you.
Yeah.
May I offer either of you a drink?
Ooh, uh, no. You know what?
I'm on business, but thank you.
Me, too. I'll have his.
You know, on second thought, I think I will then.
Thank you.
- Thank you. - For you. Uh-huh.
- Thank you. - Sure.
So what do you think of our fellow passengers
here in first class?
I'm thinking
Syrian dignitaries over there,
couple of nuclear physicists,
but that bunch, I don't know about them.
- That bunch over there? - Uh-huh.
Yeah, I'm gonna go with Yale fencing team
without a doubt.
Spot-on.
Oh, thanks.
Now what about you, Charles-but-my-friends-call-me-Chuck?
Uh...
What about... what about me?
Um, I'm in retail, very high-end
merchandise at a very prestigious store.
What the...?
Come on! Get me out of here!
This is not...
Hey, Casey.
Oh, thank you.
See that?
See that? How do you do that?
You command respect. I...
No.
I take it.
Shaken, not stirred, sir.
Thank you.
You don't fly first class often?
Well, uh...
No, no, of course I do. All the time.
LA to Paris.
Paris to LA.
What about you?
Well, I, uh, I work for a private investor.
Essentially, he just flies me around the world,
and I fix problems for him, IT stuff.
Computers, mainframes. It's terribly boring.
And stress, a lot of stress.
But I get to travel.
And live in Paris.
I have a view of the Eiffel Tower.
No way. Really?
Yeah. Have you been?
To the Eiffel Tower? Yeah. So many times.
Can't even count how many times.
I know everything there is to know about it.
Mr. Muscles?
Let me take a gander.
I'm thinking professional wrestler, maybe.
I don't know. Tough to tell.
Kind of nondescript, really.
Don't you think?
Would you excuse me for just a second?
I got to use the little boys' room.
Yeah.
I'll be right back.
- Okay. - Okay.
Hey, guys, you there?
Chuck, have you flashed yet?
Yeah. How did you know I'd flash?
Because your mission's not in Paris, Chuck.
Your mission is on the plane.
What do you mean, my "mission is on the plane"?
What do you mean, "the mission is on the plane"?
Hugo Panzer, the man you flashed on.
He's a ring agent.
He's moving a CIA crypto key to Paris.
He'll have put it in cargo.
You'll need to get his claim ticket,
go to the cargo hold, find his bag, get the key.
Yeah, I'm only seeing problems with that plan right now.
Hugo Panzer is a bit on the large side.
Chuck, I gave you the pen for a reason.
You can do this.
The pen. Of course.
The pen. Tranq him, get the ticket.
No problem.
Chuck, please be careful.
Hugo Panzer is very dangerous.
He is a master at close-quarters combat.
Sarah, don't you worry.
I will have that key back before they serve the lobster.
And by the way, I'm quite looking forward to that.
Hello?
You should have told me.
And this is why I didn't.
Chuck is not ready for Paris
and he's certainly not ready for a mid-air mission.
I mean, we can't even go in and help him.
Well, now we find out if your asset is a real spy.
Who are you, agent Shaw?
Because, you know, I have never heard of you,
and neither has Casey.
You're a very well kept secret.
I do like my secrets. Don't you?
Being the daughter of a con man
teaches you that.
You really do read everybody's files.
Of course.
And I have a few questions for you.
Seven months ago, when Chuck was in Prague,
you went off grid for three days.
This is a surveillance photo of a hotel in Lisbon.
This is you.
Beckman ordered you to stay in contact,
but you ran. Why?
It's not what you think.
I don't know what to think.
Are you a double agent?
A ring operative?
Or is this about Chuck?
Excuse me, sir?
Sorry to bother you.
The woman that I'm sitting next to is a bit of a nuisance.
Will not shut up.
So I was kind of wondering if I could plop down here,
if that's okay.
Fine.
Thanks. Awesome.
Yeah, you know, I think she's an upgrade.
It's such a bummer, too,
because one of the things I love about first class
is the opportunity to really socialize
and rub elbows with people that are, you know, like-minded,
and not the rabble. Don't you agree?
Excuse me.
Oh, yeah, sure. Do your thing.
Crossword time!
One across, "ecru".
- It's the air pressure. - What? Huh?
Pens don't always work on planes because of the pressure change.
- That... that's fascinating. - Let me try.
Oh, no, please don't...
Sorry. Sorry about that. Sorry.
That wasn't ink.
Sir, this is first class.
- Who are you? - Nobody.
Who are you?
KGB.
- Yeah? - Any updates on Chuck?
Relax, Casey. He's doing fine.
Hey, John.
Uh, do you have a second?
I need a favor.
Not interested.
Oh, I hate to pull rank here, uh, John,
but I am your superior.
What?
I need you.
Okay, please help me.
I don't know what they'll do next...
Mute Lester and his gang.
They've taken over the store.
They set booby traps for me everywhere.
I'm going crazy here.
I can't fight them by myself anymore.
They don't follow any rules.
Insurgents?
I hate insurgents.
Then this will work out, I think.
Hey.
Hey, guys.
I'm in the cargo hold,
and it's friggin' freezing in here.
Good job.
Look for the matching ticket,
find the key, get back to your seat.
Come on.
I'm right, aren't I?
I should tell you, I'm always right.
It's annoying, but true.
Why don't you tell me what you're right about
so I can tell you that you're wrong?
My theory about you and Chuck.
Most spies push their assets to perform.
That's what I do.
You protect him.
You care for him.
You followed him to Lisbon.
- That's not true. - Come on.
I was right about this mission, and I'm right about you.
You know, Chuck isn't home free yet.
- What do you got, Chuck? - I found it.
It's a casket.
Smart. The ring knows
that customs won't check the body.
Open it up.
- Find the key. - That's kind of disgusting.
Get it done, Chuck.
Oh!
Hi.
Sorry about this.
Where are you? Where is its? Ooh!
Oh, dead hands. Dead, cold hands.
Dead, cold.... Oh.
Here we go.
Ooh, that's disgusting.
Gah! Dead skin, dead skin,
dead skin.
Jackpot.
It's Chuck.
Don't answer.
He's taken care of Hugo. All he has to do is find the key.
He shouldn't need to call.
Sarah, pick up. Pick up your phone.
And what if he's in trouble?
Go ahead, answer it.
Just know that if you do, he'll never be a real spy.
And one day, that will get him killed.
Sorry. Sorry, old man.
Sorry, old man.
Don't freak out.
Casey! Casey!
Listen, I'm in a little bit of a pickle right now.
I am currently trapped in a coffin
with a recently deceased
elderly man and a very large bad guy trying to find me.
Aren't you still on the plane?
Right, yes, I forgot to mention that part.
The mission is on the plane.
I have the key,
but the ring operative is right outside.
- What do I do? - You get taken.
What?!
The ring agent's gonna find you, because you picked
the single dumbest place to hide.
Oh, gee, thanks. Criticism is always welcome.
When he does, you act like your little girlish self.
You scream like a banshee, so he doesn't think you're a threat.
When he pulls you out, you find a weapon and then flash.
Well, what if I don't flash?
Then you're dead... So flash.
C... Casey...
Chuck! Chuck!
Yeah, Casey?
Walker, Bartowski's in trouble.
The ring operative has him.
What? Chuck's been taken.
I'm opening a line to his phone.
I sincerely hope that that's not your father.
Oh!
You should've taken my watch.
My employer demands a certain heart rate
when I'm on the job.
Got a little present for you.
They really are a fencing team.
Why don't you just come here?
I'll do this clean.
Easy.
No pain.
Please be in the Intersect.
En garde.
- Point. - What's the matter with you?
You know you're gonna die.
You missed.
A lot.
Chuck, Chuck, what's happening?
Hey, guys,
I'm still alive,
and my first solo mission was a success.
Buckle up, Buy More-ians, it's gonna be a bumpy ride.
Meet my new lieutenant... Assistant Manager, John Casey.
You guys know John from appliances.
Or maybe you remember him
from the volleyball incident
at last year's employee picnic.
Either way, for those of you
who are willing to abandon the plot
to sabotage me in my assistant managership,
you're free to go.
Well, well, well,
lookie what we have here.
This is a no-smoking store.
Thanks, Jeff.
Do you know what, my lieutenant
has the right to smoke a cigar if he wants.
Or he can put it out.
Mr. Casey.
Anyone else want to leave?
Anything you got to say, big guy?
Lester says
this... isn't over.
Does he?
And I know it sounds outrageous,
but the Eiffel Tower's most amazing engineering feat
is the elevator itself...
And with that, I realize I'm the most boring person
- in the world. - No, no, that was an amazing story.
And-and I really like your model.
Thanks.
It was a...
gift from my dad.
Can I ask you a personal question?
Sure.
Have you ever been to Paris, Chuck?
Of course.
That's a...
- No, I haven't. - It's just that
you talked about it with such wonder,
like someone who's always wanted to go.
No one in first class
ever wants to do anything that badly.
You're different; you stand out.
Thank you.
This is all kind of new to me.
I think I just wanted to fit in, you know?
Why? What's your secret, Chuck?
Uh, the truth is, I work at the Buy More in Burbank.
You know, the...
Uh,
in the Nerd Herd department.
I did a home theater install at this guy's house
in LA, and, uh, he liked it so much
that he wanted me to do the same thing
in his home in Paris.
So here I am.
His ticket... I'm just along for the ride.
I don't really belong in Paris,
or... first class, for that matter.
That's not true.
Do you want to know my secret?
Is it scary?
No. Um...
I just got fired from my job.
I thought I'd actually convinced them
to let me stay, but...
I am now officially flying to Paris
to empty out my office.
I'm so sorry.
It's okay.
Meeting you almost makes it worth it.
Mama?
Uh-uh-uh, you're not here,
you're still sleeping.
You're still in bed.
Just relax.
Just watch the red dot.
This is your boss.
Morgan is your boss.
Morgan is my boss.
Morgan is Lester's boss.
That's right.
You're happy that Morgan is your boss.
Wait.
This Morgan person is real?
This store you work in, it actually exists?
Yeah, oh, yeah. Yes to both of those things.
Although, even personally, I have quite often wondered
if the Buy More was really an insane asylum, but yeah.
What is it?
Uh...
Uh, that-that, uh, that drink, I don't remember... ordering it.
It just
kind of appeared out of nowhere.
A... and you drank it.
Are you okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Just tasted a little... a little funny.
Yeah, you look like you've been poisoned.
That's crazy.
Chuck? Is something wrong?
I've just been poisoned!
Someone just poisoned me!
I think it was Hugo. I tied him up downstairs
in the cargo hold, but somehow he escaped!
- What did it taste like? - It was very complex.
It had a strong nose, with hints of apple,
and then a very sour finish.
He's right, it's poison.
Chuck, you have to throw up.
That's disgusting.
Just do it right now.
Busy!
It's Hugo... He is coming for me.
Sir, are you okay?
Do you need any help?
Sorry, Mexican food.
You do not want to come in here.
Scream, and you're dead.
Chuck?
I am so writing
a letter to the airline about this.
Shut up. There's only one antidote for that poison,
and I have it.
Now, right now, you're feeling queasy.
In an hour, you'll be in more pain
than you could possibly imagine.
Okay, fine. What do you want?
The key! Now!
What key?
Ooh! Oh, th... the key.
You have it; I want it.
Give it to me.
And don't lie.
I'll kill you right here.
I have the key, but I don't have it on me... I hid it
down in the cargo hold.
Go on.
Oh.
Hi.
Ooh!
Isn't poisoning me enough?
Now,
where's the key?
Antidote first.
Is this your first mission?
Maybe.
You led my agent
into a mission with two ring operatives?
- He's going to make it. - How?
Watch.
This is Blackbriar to Crystal Palace.
Do you have me, Palace?
Copy that. I need to initiate
an executive office override.
Put sentry satellite into inverse orbit
over Millennium Atlantic flight 3923.
Standing by for 3923...
What are you doing?
Four years ago, we launched a satellite
designed to take control of enemy fighters.
Surprisingly, the thing actually works.
You're a pilot, right?
You're gonna take control of that plane?
That's a 747.
I hope you're a quick learner... Captain Walker.
Call Chuck.
All right, I work for the CIA, okay?
And that's my boss.
I cannot give up the key without his authorization first.
Answer it. On speaker.
Hi, guys.
If you're wondering, I'm doing just dandy.
Aside from being
captured, poisoned
and repeatedly socked in the gut!
I have your agent.
- Order him to give me the key. - Who is this?
I work for a third party,
and my employer doesn't tolerate failure.
Now, your man...
Oh, Chuck. Seat 2B.
...Chuck here will be dead in an hour.
But I'm in a rush,
so he gives me the key
or I kill him now.
Okay.
O... okay?
Did he just say... Did you just say...?
I think you meant to say,
"Please don't kill my good friend Chuck".
What type of poison are you using?
I'm not bluffing. This is a cyanide hybrid.
Cyanide hybrid!
You've used it before in Berlin.
What?
Serena, you used that same poison to take out
the Syrian ambassador, and I know
you work for the ring.
How do you know this?
Don't worry about that.
Do what I say. Give my agent the antidote,
and I'll let you and your gorillas slide on this one.
Who are you?
Serena, you can do this.
Let him go.
I can't. You know my employer.
Your agent is alone and he's going to die.
No, my people are never alone. Now.
Disengaging yaw damper.
Inducing negative Gs.
We've run into a patch of turbulence.
Please return to your seats right now.
You shot a gun on a plane?! Are you crazy?!
Sarah, level off
- the plane now! - Got it.
Ah...
Ah!
Hey,
I'm alive and I have the key.
Unfortunately, I did not get to use my nunchakus.
This is Blackbriar to Crystal Palace.
Disable link on my mark.
Copy that.
Three, two, one. Break.
Uplink terminated.
Thank you, Palace.
Well, the flight crew will never even know we were there.
Just another day in the office.
I do everything I can to protect my people.
I lost one spy.
It was my fault.
And it will never happen again.
Why were you in Lisbon?
I went to bury Bryce, my partner.
He wanted his ashes there.
Lisbon was our first mission.
I knew I wasn't supposed to leave,
but I promised him that I would take care of it, so I did.
If you want me out, just tell Beckman
and she will reassign me.
Why would I do that?
I need you.
I just had to be sure
that the ring hadn't gotten to you already.
And now do you believe me?
Every word, Sarah.
How are you feeling?
Um, much better, thanks.
Sorry about that whole airsickness episode.
It wasn't my finest hour.
No, it's okay.
Chuck, I'm gonna be here for a couple of days
clearing things up.
I would love it if I could show off the Eiffel Tower to you.
What do you say?
Absolutely. That would be amazing.
Great.
Oh.
Hello.
Chuck, our Paris station is taking over custody
of the ring operatives.
They send their compliments.
- Fantastic. That is great news. - Another thing,
stay on the plane. We need that key back in Burbank ASAP.
Uh...
Really? I can't...?
Mission's over, Chuck. Time to come home.
What is it?
Um, the install job I was gonna do here in Paris
has been canceled, so Buy More needs me back immediately.
I have to stay on the plane.
What about Paris?
Don't worry about it. It's... it's no big deal.
I'll get back here eventually.
And, uh, and furthermore, uh...
Hannah, if, um, if you ever find yourself in Burbank,
and I don't know what the chances
of you finding yourself in Burbank are,
but if you do find yourself in Burbank,
and you're still without a job,
my assistant manager owes me
about a million-and-a-half favors.
Although, I have to warn you,
you will be terribly overqualified
for the job.
Thank you.
Oh, you're welcome.
It was a pleasure to meet you, Hannah.
It was great to meet you, too, Chuck.
Bye.
Au revoir.
Lester, dude, what are we going to do?
About Morgan and his new goon?
Morgan?
Yeah. How are we gonna get back at him?
Morgan Grimes is the kindest, warmest, most understanding
human being I've ever known in my life.
Whoa, that is too cool.
How did you do that?
Don't ask. Plausible deniability.
Plausible deniability.
Yeah, of course, of course.
Your key, sir.
Very good, Chuck. Your first solo mission.
I am impressed.
Well, thank you, but I would be dead if it wasn't for you guys.
All right, who wants
to see if this key works?
What is it, a weapon?
No, it's a lockbox.
Belonged to a spy I had inside the ring.
It's all of the intel the agent had.
With this we might stand a chance.
And one of our best didn't die in vain.
What's in the envelope, Shaw?
She was killed by a ring agent five years ago.
Her name was Evelyn Shaw.
Eve.
We both made the same mistake, Sarah.
We fell in love with spies.
What's with the looks?
He gave me a raise.
Inflation, buddy. See what happens
when you go away for a two-day install?
Everything changes.
Ah, I don't know.
Sometimes I think everything just stays the same.
But maybe that's just me.
Chuck, what happened on the install?
Nothing, buddy.
Nothing at all.
Bored now.
Sync by l3ob@yyets
Corrected by Lawman666 and by 4be1