Hi, i'm Chuck, here's a few things you might need to know. Who is that?
Super-hot blonde, heart of ice,
yeah, it's Chuck's ex, Sarah.
What's their deal?
Turns out I haven't been completely honest.
The truth is, I was hitting on you.
It was completely unprofessional,
and I apologize.
Oh, my God.
Chuck has a secret girlfriend.
I can't believe that Chuck is sneaking around
my back like this, living this other life
that he doesn't think I know anything about.
I guess he'll tell you about Hannah when he's ready, hon.
Hannah- you've said it a hundred times before so casual.
Hannah. Chuck had asked me to keep it a secret.
You know, maybe it's me.
Maybe he thinks, like,
I'll judge him or something.
I mean, he told me about the first girl he had a crush on-
Mrs. Seaver.
Who?
The mom from Growing Pains.
And-and you, you used to tell me
everything, too, and now you and my brother
are as thick as thieves.
Is there something you're keeping from me, too?
Any secrets? No, nothing, not a thing.
You're lying.
I'm not lying.
Your pulse is racing.
I'm exercising.
Honey, go to Chuck.
Tell him how feel. Be honest.
That's good advice, honey.
I love you.
Chuck?
Chuck, listen, uh,
I get it.
You know, I'm not the one that you...
share everything with anymore.
I just- I just miss being that person.
Everybody knew about this new girl that you're dating
before I did.
I just wanted to let you know
that I'm a really good secret keeper.
And if you don't want Sarah to know about the new girl...
I won't tell Sarah if you don't.
Um, I'm Hannah.
Oh, my God, this is so embarrassing. No.
Ellie... uh... my sister.
I've been meaning to introduce you to...
...Hannah. Hannah-
who apparently you've already just met right now. Mm-hmm.
Hannah is...
a girl.
She's a girl...
and a friend.
A very close friend.
Technically as close as two people can kind of... Okay.
Doughnut? No, thanks.
Um, I need to go and get dressed so I can go to work.
It was, uh... it was really great to meet you, Ellie.
Likewise.
Okay. Bye. Bye.
I am- I am so sorry.
I just... I don't know,
I felt like I was out of the loop,
and you used to tell me everything, and...
I know. I'm sorry. You shouldn't be sorry, I'm sorry.
I wanted to tell you.
I've just been really wrapped up at work, and...
But I have an idea.
I'm going to make dinner for the four of us tonight.
And guess what, it's going to be your favorite.
Oh, yeah.
My famous chicken pepperoni.
Huh? Oh, I got to tell you the truth.
I love...,
your chicken pepperoni.
Yes, I know this.
Really, I'm just-
I'm so glad that you're moving on from Sarah.
I thought you didn't want dessert.
I don't.
I want yours.
See, my dessert is contained within your dessert.
Listen, Shaw...
I like that.
Keep it a last-name basis. Impersonal.
Very sexy, Walker.
I don't think we should see each other in a non-work capacity.
Oh, is that what this is?
Look, I-it's just, it's becoming
a pattern for me to get involved with the guys that I work with,
and I really need to put a stop to that before it starts.
So, this is a preemptive breakup?
I need to stop mixing my personal life
with my professional life.
I'd be a liar if I didn't say I was disappointed,
but I get it.
The vehicle in question has arrived.
Roger that.
The man is on the move.
I have the target in sight.
Did you wear cologne in my car?
Nobody wants to smell you.
The next time you wear cologne in my car,
I will end you.
Night-night.
Rafe Gruber is a martial arts expert, a sharpshooter.
He is one of five people who can hit a target
from half a mile away.
I mean, the man is a chameleon.
It is a miracle we even got a hit on his location.
Very few people have seen his face.
Big deal, not impressed.
Well, The Ring is.
They wired a million dollars into his account.
Enemy of my enemy is my friend, kind of thing.
We need to know who The Ring wants dead.
There's nothing this clown can do that I can't do.
I'm perfect for this mission.
Still, we're going with Bartowski on this one.
He'll assume Rafe's identity
in order to learn the Ring's target.
The Intersect is performing. He can do this. He's ready.
Right, Walker?
Chuck wants to be a spy.
Hello, team Bartowski.
Tempt anyone with a tasty treat, huh?
What's with him?
Stallion had a date last night; must have gotten lucky.
So, what is going on?
Who's this guy?
That is Rafe Gruber.
Wow, old Rafie boy's not such a good guy now, is he?
What are we doing with him?
Not we, Chuck. You.
You're about to assume an alias.
You're going to become
the world's most dangerous assassin.
Becoming an alias, Chuck,
is unlike anything you've had in your spy training before.
Under the most stressful conditions,
you have to react only like Rafe, not Chuck.
Guys, please.
I think I know a thing or two about acting, all right?
I happened to play Perchik in my high school's production
of Fiddler on the Roof.
And I was really quite good.
Ow! Ow!
What'd you do that for?! I'm proving a point.
Everything you think and feel, Chuck,
even your innate reflexes have to change.
The kind of people that Gruber associates with
will kill first, ask questions later.
Yeah, okay fine, I get it. What's the plan?
Well, Casey is going to elicit the details from Gruber,
whom he's meeting, where and when.
Then you'll go in as Gruber, take his place.
Well, good luck there.
It's gonna be tough getting information like that
out of a top assassin like Rafe.
Nah, I can be very persuasive.
Hey, let me talk to him for a second. Step off, Bartowski.
I got a job to do. Yeah, well, hey, so do I, okay?
I've got to learn about Rafe
so I can get into character for my mission.
For example:
Assassin is not normally a booth one finds at Career Day.
How'd you initially get interested in this line of work?
Why would I tell you anything?
I can think of one burning reason why.
Okay. How about this one: What was your most difficult hit?
I'll take the torture over this man's questions. Roger that.
I'll take the torture over this man's questions.
Hey, it's just a phone.
Gruber here.
Of course I'm ready.
Who do you think you're dealing with?
Yeah, yeah, I know where that is.
Across the street from the cupcake place.
Because I like cupcakes, that's why.
Who doesn't like a good cupcake?
I'll be there.
Not bad, Bartowski.
Who the hell is Bartowski?
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Look at that guy.
Chuck's the greatest lady killer Burbank has ever seen.
He's a real "chuck" magnet.
Please with the puns.
Terrible timing for my number one employee Morgan
to be away at a leadership seminar.
Due to a clerical oversight, we received
triple the number of Crock-Pots I may have intended.
I'm excited about dinner tonight.
Oh, yeah, yeah, me, too.
What's that guy's secret with women?
What, has he got some kind of deal with the devil?
I've narrowed it down.
Either mind controlling LSD or sorcery.
El Segundo School of Finance has taught me
when you try to sell a house, bake some cookies.
Make the place smell familiar.
We're gonna do the same thing here.
Except with gumbo.
Folks smell something cooking in that Crock-Pot,
make them want to buy the fool thing.
Need a volunteer.
You look like you've peeled a few spuds
in your day, Casey.
And I would have picked you if these two dipsticks
hadn't been faking sick
to get out of chopping and dicing.
Wash your filthy hands, boys.
Hey, um, I'm cooking dinner tonight
for my family, Hannah,
and my special chicken pepperoni recipe
takes a little time to prep,
so I don't know how long the mission is,
but I need a hard out by 5:00. Mm.
I can give you a hard out with these five.
Get your priorities straight.
You okay in here?
Yeah, yeah. I'll be out in a sec.
I see how that guy looks at you.
I bet he has no clue what to do to a beautiful
woman like you.
But I do.
I will take such good care of you, sweetheart.
All set.
Quick thing I gotta do first.
Okay, ready when you are.
Hi.
I miss those lips.
What, these old things?
I'm gonna be thinking about last night
when I'm on my install.
What are you doing today?
Yeah, same thing, install.
Big, huge, complicated.
Probably faking my way through most of it.
But hey, how about I come and pick you up before dinner?
That's great.
Definitely a deal with the devil.
I am so lonely.
Come on.
I can pass for a cold-blooded killer, right?
What happened to Rafe?
What?
Imbecile can't go in alone.
Hey, where am I going?
Chuck, Rafe wasn't going
to meet with your usual spies.
These guys are a little more old-fashioned.
Heard a story this cugine whacked this guy
during his spaghetti dinner.
The coroner couldn't tell
between the marinara and the mess.
Hey, boss, someone to see you.
Well, well, well,
Rafe Gruber.
Your reputation precedes you.
This is my coworker.
You may call him John.
How ya doin'?
John doesn't talk much.
I know you from somewhere?
Doubt it.
When we had previous dealings with our mutual friends,
you had more trepidation about letting us I.D. you.
Not many people have seen my face and lived.
Consider it an honor.
Look, I'm not much for foreplay,
so forgive me if I'm a little rude.
Who's my target?
No one thinks this guy looks familiar?
You got cousins in Philly?
No.
I'm a huge fan of your work.
Can I ask you something?
What was your toughest hit?
You want to know my toughest hit?
Look, I was just asking.
Yeah, take it easy, boss.
You shut your mouth!
You think it's okay to ask a guy you just met
something personal like that?
I really didn't mean no disrespect, I swear.
Your toughest assignment's always your next one.
You forget that, then you die.
You okay, Walker?
Yeah, yeah, it's just this alias thing.
It must be a lot for Chuck.
He's not a very good liar.
Listen to him.
He's completely living the lie.
I know, but he's not like you and me.
We're both used to living somebody else's life.
That's the job.
Yeah, but where does the job end?
I can barely remember who I am anymore.
CHUCK I'm a busy guy, so what's the name?
Who do our mutual friends want me to kill?
The guy's name is... I remember now!
You look like this hotshot sniper
I served with a while back.
Name Alex Coburn,
ring a bell?
What are you trying to say?
Simple. This guy isn't who he says he is.
Maybe he's some kind of fed.
Damn it! Casey's been made.
We need to get them out of there.
How are we supposed to do that
without getting everybody else killed?
We need that name, Walker.
We need to know who the Ring wants dead.
Are you implying that this guy, my guy, is a cop?
That's exactly what I'm saying.
So what does that say about you?
If he's a cop...
I'll kill him myself.
Do him, Rafe!
What are you waiting for?
Quit stalling. Keep stalling, Chuck.
We need more time.
We're waiting for backup.
Time's running out.
Kill him.
I'm not a murderer.
I'm an assassin!
What's the damn difference?
I don't kill because I like it.
I kill because it's a means to something.
In this case, information.
Information that I wouldn't get from a dead guy
per your suggestion!
Now you're gonna tell me, who's your informant?
Who's the leak?
Why would I tell you anything?
Sell it.
Wait!
I got something
special for occasions such as these.
Is this stuff sterile?
I take pride
in my work, all right?
I want to kill him, not some secondary infection.
No.
Tell me what you know!
Move!
Move, move, move!
Everyone, move it! Move it!
Oh, my God, Sarah!
Sarah, I'm freaking out right now!
I've never been so happy to see you in my life!
Stop it!
You're not you, you're Rafe.
You have to be him in this situation.
Think what he would do. Live the lie.
Come on, move! We gotta split up!
We'll contact you later with your assignment!
Rafe, You're incredible!
Yeah, whatever. It's my job.
Good work, team.
Wow, Bartowski really sold it.
For a second, I hardly even recognized him.
Guys, I told you
I needed a hard-out at 5:00!
How am I gonna get everything done?
I gotta cook dinner, my apartment's a pigsty,
gotta pick up Hannah, take a shower...
Where is everybody?
Walker and Shaw knew you were in over your head.
They went back to your place to fix dinner
for your date. They did, huh?
Weird, huh?
Walker helping you get laid.
Um, hey, Casey, I'm... I'm sorry about your tooth.
That's all right. At least you got one with a cavity.
Saved me a trip to the dentist.
You did good work, Chuck.
Proud of you.
You think you can be me?
You shut your mouth.
Where are you taking Rafe?
Interrogation. Just wish
I could do it myself.
You think you can be me?!
Uh, Case,
back there on the mission,
I flashed on
the name "Alex Coburn." Who is that?
You mind your damn business.
Oh, hey!
Hi!
Let's go eat.
I'm not gonna lie to you, boys,
Bartowski is killing it with the ladies.
I know.
First there was that hot girl from Stanford.
Jill. Yeah.
Then the brunette with the overpriced deli.
Lou. She was a fine, miniature piece of woman.
And now Hannah.
I'd like to moisturize her feet with my saliva.
Don't you get it? None of them matter.
Chuck may try to replace her,
but when he's with Sarah, the light
in his eyes shines brightly.
Damn onions!
Oh, knife.
I want expectations to be managed here.
I'm not Chef Boyardee.
Just looking forward to hanging out with your sister.
I like this one, Chuck.
Oh, my God, Chuck,
this looks amazing.
And smells amazing, too.
Dude, I thought you worked all day.
How'd you find time to do this?
Um, you know, it's a, it's a juggling act.
No biggie. I just threw it together.
Uh, Devon, you want to help me with the wine?
Smells delish.
My taste buds are fist bumping each other, bro.
Red okay?
Listen, I didn't do any of this, okay?
I didn't buy the cheese.
I didn't make the dinner.
Thank God, I can tell you the truth.
Stop. Stop.
If you keep talking,
I'm going to have to lie to your sister,
and I can't do that anymore.
I'm not cut out for this, Chuck.
I'm not like you.
I'm sorry. I get it.
Look, from now on, if Ellie asks you something,
just say, "I don't know." That's not a lie.
I lied.
I'm a liar.
I've been telling you for years that I love this dish.
And it's been horrible.
And now, I can tell you, honestly, that this is
fantastic.
Well, yeah. I think you're just, you're just being polite.
It's not really my best.
No, it is, actually.
The others were quite horrible.
Devon, can you believe that Chuck made this?
I don't know.
Isn't this chicken moist?
Chuck's chicken?
This chicken?
Chuck's chicken.
Um...
Hannah, don't you think Chuck's chicken is moist?
Actually, I, um...
I'd like to make a toast.
Um, you know how, in life,
there's always something that just doesn't line up?
Like, um, either you're working at the wrong job
or dating the wrong guy,
or you're eating some really bad meal?
Uh, but
right at this second,
I feel like I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be.
And I want to thank all of you
for making me feel that way.
Hope dessert doesn't suck.
Um, cheers.
Cheers.
I managed to sneak us out some chicken.
I don't want to brag, but it turned out pretty good.
Oh, uh, no, thanks. I'm not hungry.
I'm clocking out. Have you got this covered?
Uh, yeah.
This is cool.
Is this new?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah. Little perk of the job.
You know, just testing it out. Work thing.
Listen, I, um, I know this is fast,
but my parents are coming in
from Santa Barbara tonight for dinner.
Oh. Yeah, and I wasn't going to ask you to come,
but since I got to hang out with your family,
I'd love it if you met mine.
Yeah, yeah. I would love to meet them.
Bartowski, I need your professional opinion.
Your latest little lady said
that you're some kind of cooking expert.
I need your palette's advice.
Uh, actually, you know, my recipe last night
didn't really come together.
That's not what she said.
She said she couldn't wait
to gobble up every bite.
Mouth as pretty as Hannah's,
she can taste the difference.
That's the mouth
of a professional.
Hello? Burbank Buy More.
The-the flavor profile's not quite right.
I think it could use a little Worcestershire sauce, maybe.
And, oh, oh, wait. Is that frozen okra?
Good taste in women, bad taste in food.
Jeffrey, if you double-dip, we all may die.
Who was that? What did they want?
Um, it was a wrong number.
They were asking for some guy named Rafe.
That's odd. What did you tell him?
Um, I told them that this was a Buy More phone.
Uh, but the guy? Just, he wouldn't listen,
and he kept saying that he would be here, in like, two minutes.
Oh, here.
What do you think you're doing with that watch?
I can explain.
There is no explanation.
Give me this watch.
For a bad ass killer to own such a piece of crap watch?
Crazy!
So, we bought you a little present,
though "bought" is a very loose term.
Look at that.
Gold. Wow. It's very understated.
What are you doing here at Buy More, anyway?
What, are you getting some speaker wire to, uh...
What do I look like, a workaholic?
A man's got to have
hobbies other than murder.
I was here browsing music.
Hey, you saved us
from getting pinched yesterday, huh?
What a guy. Ooh, I could hit you.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.
Never seen anything close
to what you pulled off, Rafe.
The trick is making it look easy.
You did us a favor, and in turn, we did you a favor.
We tracked down the location
of the guy you're supposed to kill.
Good news, huh?
Good news?
That is very good news.
Yeah. Enough of that.
Oh, I'm sorry if this is a bad time.
No. Hey, Walker. Come on in.
Listen, Shaw, I just wanted to say, um...
What?
Well, I-I came by to, um...
I'm sorry. Can you please put some clothes on?
Oh. Yeah.
I wanted to apologize for my behavior last night.
No apology necessary.
Okay.
Um...
Well...
You still, um...
You okay with this whole Chuck/Hannah thing?
Thank you for asking.
But that's not really the change
that I'm having trouble with.
So, who's the mark?
Who am I taking out?
He's in the hotel room right over there.
Got a girl with him.
A real hot piece of tail.
I think they're going to plow.
Perfect distraction.
How am I supposed to see him?
With this.
Naturally.
We hear you're one of five guys that can make this shot.
It's over half a mile away.
Well, apparently, my reputation precedes me.
Again.
Oh, my God.
What?
SARAH It's just really difficult
to see Chuck become a different person.
That's the mission, Walker.
No, it's not the mission. It's...
Everything.
Take the shot.
It's how he pulled out Casey's tooth,
and how he burnt that asset a couple of weeks ago,
and the way he lies to Hannah.
I mean, it's so easy for him.
Chuck's changing.
He's becoming a spy.
I know. I know.
But lives are being affected here.
Sounds like he's not the only one who's changing.
It's like I'm watching Chuck disappear,
and the further he gets from who he is,
the... Cap him.
It's okay. Talk to me, Sarah.
Come on.
Well, the more I want to remember who I am-
who I was before all of this-
Well, if this is you, I like you.
I want more.
I've been on this assignment for almost three years,
and I've never told anybody my real name.
Not even Chuck?
No.
Not even Chuck.
So, what is it?
What's happening?
What's going on? Shut up! Shut up!
Feels so weird to say it out loud.
Yeah, it's just, you never seemed like a Sarah.
It's 'cause I'm not.
What is it, Rafe?
I'm Sam.
Hmm.
My real name is Sam.
Sam?
Well...
I'm going to kiss you now, Sam.
Sam?!
Sam?
Who's Sam?
The guy you're supposed to whack is Daniel Shaw.
The organization that had us contract you
thought this Shaw guy was dead.
Turns out, he's just not dead yet.
This is the right guy all right.
So, who the hell is Sam?
Sam...
Sam's the girl.
My girl.
Sort of.
Me and Sam are on again, off again.
Driving everyone in my life a little crazy.
I hate those "Will they or won't they?" things.
Just do it already!
If you and this girl love each other so much,
what's keeping you apart?
It's complicated.
Sort of came down to a question of work.
What are you gonna do?
You got your priorities straight.
Right?
And plus, she's the one who's always pushing me to be better
at my job in the first place.
Women- screwed if you do,
not screwed if you don't.
Wait a second.
The guy you're supposed to whack is banging your girl?
It sure seems that way, doesn't it? Huh.
Jeez, this unlucky guy is about to get double dead.
SHAW Do we have a situation?
I tried contacting the agents transporting Gruber,
but they're not responding.
They checked in yet?
No. Damn it!
Get me Bartowski's last-known location.
What are you waiting on, Rafe?
There.
That's better.
What's your problem, man?
Ice him! I can't do it.
A bullet's too good for this guy.
Yeah, you gotta look this jerk in the eye
before you cap him.
Yeah, yeah, my thoughts exactly.
I'm going over there.
You two stay put.
Don't worry, Rafe. We got your back.
Anything weird goes down, I'll take out the whole room.
I ain't a marksman like you are,
but I make sure they're all dead.
Yeah, that's... real good.
Open the door!
I know you're in there!
I will kick this door down!
What's going on?
Shut your mouth! I'll deal with you later.
What's your problem? My problem is that
nobody messes with Rafe Gruber.
They're watching us.
I'd like you to remove those.
No, no, no. These are the hands
that are gonna kill you, Shaw.
What are you doing?!
You stole my girl.
I'm going to end you for taking Sam!
You had your chance and you blew it.
Who the hell are you?
Ah, Shaw, wait!
Shaw, enough!
Would you stop already?
I'm trying to sell myself as Rafe!
They're across the street with a sniper rifle.
They're gonna kill all of us!
No, I'm gonna kill all of you.
Come on. Flash.
Flash!
Come on! Flash!
Wake up, pretty.
Come on. That's it.
Come here, yeah.
No, don't shoot! Please don't!
You two got it bad for this blond.
Can't say I blame you.
I'm gonna make it easy on both of you.
Take her out of the equation.
No!
Five people in the world can make this shot, huh?
Guess I'm one of them.
Hi.
Um...
you said that I could come to you if I ever needed to talk.
Yeah. I'm so glad.
Please, start at the beginning.
I feel like I'm living a lie, Ellie.
I used to be able to compartmentalize
these things, but it's, like, it's all the time now.
It never stops.
I feel like I'm not me anymore.
I think I know what this is about.
You do?
Maybe things are moving too fast with Hannah,
and even though you really like her,
it feels dishonest because the truth is
that you still have feelings for Sarah.
Does that sound about right?
See, this is... this is why I don't come talk to you, Ellie,
'cause you're half a spy.
I'm sorry, Chuck, maybe that's not it.
No. No, no, no.
What I mean by that is that you're an excellent
half a spy.
Thanks.
Any time.
Hi!
Hi. I'm, uh, I'm Chuck.
Can we talk for a second?
Oh, yeah.
Sorry.
Are you okay, Chuck?
What's the matter?
You know how much I like you, right?
What's wrong?
Hannah, there are things in my life
that you can't understand, and I can't explain them to you.
I've been dishonest, and it's not fair to you.
So I have to end this...
...because you deserve to be with someone
who you can know
completely and...
I, um, I thought you were a nice guy.
No, I am a nice guy.
No, you're not a nice guy.
We had sex this morning,
and now you are dumping me.
No, it's not like that.
Then how is it? Explain it to me!
Look, I have dated a lot of liars before,
so I usually know how to spot them,
but you- you're, like, the best I've ever seen.
I hope that your lies keep you warm at night.
So, now that the Ring knows you're alive,
looks like you're gonna be down here for a while,
so I bought you that.
It's a Crock-Pot. They're practically
giving them away at Buy More.
And just so you know,
the Castle is outside of Bamboo Dragon's delivery radius.
Thank you... Sam.
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