1
00:00:15,047 --> 00:00:17,976
So there was this one night before I met your mother,

2
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,038
when I really wanted to go to the bar.

3
00:00:20,100 --> 00:00:22,690
The bar... big surprise.

4
00:00:22,736 --> 00:00:24,554
You sure spent a lot of time in bars.

5
00:00:24,799 --> 00:00:26,826
Well, that's just we did back then.

6
00:00:26,909 --> 00:00:29,269
Me, Marshall and Lily,

7
00:00:29,341 --> 00:00:31,113
Barney, Robin--

8
00:00:31,195 --> 00:00:34,343
we all used to hang out at this one bar called McClaren's.

9
00:00:34,989 --> 00:00:36,422
But then, one night...

10
00:00:36,504 --> 00:00:37,620
Why don't we go to McClaren's?

11
00:00:37,676 --> 00:00:38,864
Let's go to McClaren's.

12
00:00:38,941 --> 00:00:40,441
You guys talking to each other?

13
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:42,965
Nobody's listening?

14
00:00:43,139 --> 00:00:44,364
What's wrong with McClaren's?

15
00:00:44,496 --> 00:00:46,437
McClaren's is bore-snore.

16
00:00:46,544 --> 00:00:48,285
Ted, tonight we're going to go out.

17
00:00:48,352 --> 00:00:49,843
We're going to meet some ladies.

18
00:00:49,934 --> 00:00:52,009
It's going to be legendary.

19
00:00:52,078 --> 00:00:52,965
Phone five.

20
00:00:53,635 --> 00:00:56,170
I had no idea why I hung out with Barney.

21
00:00:57,895 --> 00:00:59,329
You didn't phone five, did you?

22
00:00:59,795 --> 00:01:01,828
I know when you don't phone five, Ted.

23
00:01:02,359 --> 00:01:03,317
Come on.

24
00:01:03,619 --> 00:01:05,375
We always to go to McClaren's.

25
00:01:05,433 --> 00:01:07,394
Yeah, 'cause McClaren's is fun.

26
00:01:07,465 --> 00:01:09,729
McClaren's is this much fun.

27
00:01:09,805 --> 00:01:11,925
What I'm offering is the chance to have...

28
00:01:12,154 --> 00:01:13,958
this much fun.

29
00:01:14,033 --> 00:01:14,899
See, you say that.

30
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:16,722
You say it's going to be this much fun,

31
00:01:16,804 --> 00:01:19,389
but most of the time it ends up being this much fun.

32
00:01:19,686 --> 00:01:20,966
This much fun is good.

33
00:01:21,053 --> 00:01:22,753
It's safe. It's guaranteed.

34
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:25,227
This hand gesture thing doesn't really work on the phone, does it?

35
00:01:25,282 --> 00:01:26,240
No, it doesn't.

36
00:01:27,351 --> 00:01:28,329
Get in the cab.

37
00:01:28,549 --> 00:01:29,593
Marshall, you, too.

38
00:01:29,721 --> 00:01:31,810
Oh, I wish I could. I think Lily and I are just going to...

39
00:01:31,857 --> 00:01:33,443
I understand. Ted, get in the cab.

40
00:01:33,510 --> 00:01:34,621
Why can Marshall say no?

41
00:01:34,713 --> 00:01:36,765
Uh, because he's getting laid.

42
00:01:37,376 --> 00:01:38,498
Consistently.

43
00:01:39,445 --> 00:01:41,022
Ted, Ted, Ted... right here.

44
00:01:41,344 --> 00:01:44,391
You keep going to the same bar. You're in a rut.

45
00:01:44,462 --> 00:01:45,937
And I am a rut-buster.

46
00:01:45,998 --> 00:01:47,877
I'm going to bust your rut.

47
00:01:48,077 --> 00:01:49,326
It's not a rut, okay?

48
00:01:49,382 --> 00:01:51,385
It's a routine, and I like it.

49
00:01:51,889 --> 00:01:55,045
Ted, what's the first syllable in "rut-tine"?

50
00:02:03,432 --> 00:02:04,543
Peace out, suckers.

51
00:02:07,504 --> 00:02:09,295
All right, so what's this legendary plan?

52
00:02:09,351 --> 00:02:11,035
First we've got to pick someone up at the airport.

53
00:02:11,142 --> 00:02:13,247
- Okay, I'm out of here.
- Estaban, doors.

54
00:02:17,705 --> 00:02:21,265
Okay, we just do this one little thing, and the rest of the night is ours.

55
00:02:21,342 --> 00:02:23,870
Why do you have those suitcases, and who are we picking up?

56
00:02:23,932 --> 00:02:24,645
I don't know.

57
00:02:24,710 --> 00:02:25,654
Maybe her.

58
00:02:25,725 --> 00:02:26,800
Or her.

59
00:02:27,820 --> 00:02:31,411
Wait, so when you said you were going to pick someone up at the airport,

60
00:02:31,464 --> 00:02:35,544
you meant you were going to "pick someone up" at the airport?

61
00:02:35,940 --> 00:02:40,413
Scenario: a couple of girls fly into town looking for a fun weekend in NYC,

62
00:02:40,466 --> 00:02:43,501
when the meet two handsome international businessmen

63
00:02:43,563 --> 00:02:46,231
just back from a lucrative trip to Japan.

64
00:02:46,947 --> 00:02:48,146
Sample dialogue:

65
00:02:48,222 --> 00:02:51,493
"You have a wheelie bag? Well, I have a wheelie bag."

66
00:02:51,551 --> 00:02:52,635
You've got to be kidding me.

67
00:02:52,707 --> 00:02:53,486
False.

68
00:02:53,634 --> 00:02:56,194
Sidebar... tuck in your shirt. You look sketchy.

69
00:02:56,389 --> 00:02:57,745
I'm sketchy?

70
00:02:57,821 --> 00:02:59,880
Trust me, it's going to be legendary.

71
00:03:00,106 --> 00:03:01,445
Don't say "legendary," okay?

72
00:03:01,555 --> 00:03:04,084
You're too liberal with the word "legendary."

73
00:03:04,351 --> 00:03:06,060
We're building an igloo in Central Park.

74
00:03:06,127 --> 00:03:09,091
It's going to be legendary. Snowsuit up!

75
00:03:10,796 --> 00:03:13,265
Ted, Ted, Ted... right here.

76
00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:16,300
This is happening. Now you can either put the bags on the carousel now,

77
00:03:16,346 --> 00:03:18,727
or you can listen to me give you a really long speech convincing you

78
00:03:18,774 --> 00:03:20,934
to put the bags on the carousel. Your move.

79
00:03:23,561 --> 00:03:26,822
Ted, since the dawn of time-- mankind has struggled...

80
00:03:29,045 --> 00:03:31,523
That night, Marshall had  a ton of studying to do.

81
00:03:31,584 --> 00:03:32,971
So Lily went out  with Robin--

82
00:03:33,042 --> 00:03:35,332
who was new to New York and looking for a friend.

83
00:03:35,710 --> 00:03:38,624
I'm so glad we finally get to hang out, just the two of us.

84
00:03:38,691 --> 00:03:39,309
Yeah.

85
00:03:39,376 --> 00:03:43,749
You sure you're okay giving up your Friday night to hang with an old, almost married lady?

86
00:03:43,816 --> 00:03:46,222
Oh, please. I'm so sick of the meat market scene.

87
00:03:46,274 --> 00:03:47,748
Guys are like the subway.

88
00:03:47,804 --> 00:03:50,251
You miss one, another one comes along in five minutes.

89
00:03:50,319 --> 00:03:53,431
Unless it's the end of the night and then you get on anything.

90
00:03:53,503 --> 00:03:54,414
Hey-oh!

91
00:03:55,924 --> 00:03:57,717
Compliments of that guy.

92
00:03:59,591 --> 00:04:00,501
Really?

93
00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:01,777
Sweet.

94
00:04:02,099 --> 00:04:03,799
Oh, for you it's $6.

95
00:04:04,879 --> 00:04:07,926
Oh, yes, that's one drawback to being engaged.

96
00:04:08,012 --> 00:04:09,457
I'm sure that's why he didn't...

97
00:04:09,539 --> 00:04:10,266
Hey.

98
00:04:11,286 --> 00:04:12,364
Oh, hello.

99
00:04:17,301 --> 00:04:19,978
So, uh... did you just get in from Detroit?

100
00:04:22,491 --> 00:04:23,537
Japan.

101
00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:30,897
Okay, carousel 4 is tapped out.

102
00:04:30,955 --> 00:04:32,942
Ready? Because I'm about to drop some knowledge.

103
00:04:33,004 --> 00:04:35,457
Cute girls are not from Buffalo.

104
00:04:36,681 --> 00:04:38,000
Time-out, 10:00.

105
00:04:39,342 --> 00:04:40,632
You ready to rock this, Tedder?

106
00:04:40,678 --> 00:04:43,384
All right, I think we need to refine our back story first. How did we...?

107
00:04:43,445 --> 00:04:45,916
Ted, you klutzy great guy you.

108
00:04:48,092 --> 00:04:50,525
- Hey, I'm Barney.
- Hi.

109
00:04:50,595 --> 00:04:52,844
- My God, are you okay?
- I am so sorry.

110
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:56,848
It's fine. No, you were shaky on your landing. I give you a 9.2.

111
00:04:57,033 --> 00:04:58,793
Ooh. Hi. I'm Ted.

112
00:04:58,850 --> 00:04:59,785
I'm Laura.

113
00:04:59,848 --> 00:05:02,802
Look, I'm really sorry that we have to hit and run, but we've got a plane to catch.

114
00:05:02,862 --> 00:05:04,682
- Where you headed?
- Philadelphia.

115
00:05:04,768 --> 00:05:06,805
Philly? That's where we're headed.

116
00:05:06,828 --> 00:05:07,830
You are?

117
00:05:08,576 --> 00:05:10,554
Well, then we'll see you on the plane.

118
00:05:10,626 --> 00:05:11,768
Yes, you will.

119
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,483
Follow them. Ticket's on me.

120
00:05:15,527 --> 00:05:16,795
No. Barney!

121
00:05:16,867 --> 00:05:18,638
Don't you get on that escalator!

122
00:05:19,585 --> 00:05:22,519
And don't you dare get on that subsequent escalator!

123
00:05:27,266 --> 00:05:29,728
Studying law.

124
00:05:31,925 --> 00:05:36,775
Making a responsible choice for my future.

125
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,224
On Friday night.

126
00:05:42,057 --> 00:05:46,491
Being a lawyer had better be awesome.

127
00:05:49,922 --> 00:05:51,943
Whazzup, Ted?

128
00:05:52,762 --> 00:05:53,745
Are you all right?

129
00:05:53,992 --> 00:05:54,695
Yeah.

130
00:05:54,990 --> 00:05:56,926
Hey, guess where I am. I'm on a... ready?

131
00:05:56,997 --> 00:05:59,168
Plane to... ready? Philadelphia.

132
00:05:59,307 --> 00:06:00,853
That is awesome.

133
00:06:00,919 --> 00:06:01,827
Hey, is that Marshall?

134
00:06:02,021 --> 00:06:04,786
Marshall, stop whatever you're doing, get in that hoopty-ass Fiero of yours

135
00:06:04,831 --> 00:06:07,545
and come meet us in Philly. It's going to be legendary.

136
00:06:07,637 --> 00:06:09,291
Man, I wish I could, guys...

137
00:06:09,373 --> 00:06:12,361
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I sent you some pictures on my phone. Check it.

138
00:06:17,954 --> 00:06:18,768
Philly.

139
00:06:20,018 --> 00:06:21,696
Admit it: you're having fun.

140
00:06:22,230 --> 00:06:26,015
This much fu... 35,000 feet of fun.

141
00:06:26,029 --> 00:06:29,413
Well, I didn't think I'd be flying to Philadelphia when I woke up this morning, I'll give you that.

142
00:06:29,475 --> 00:06:31,646
Attaboy. Let's go talk to those girls.

143
00:06:31,717 --> 00:06:33,411
Whoa, whoa, the seat belt sign's on.

144
00:06:33,602 --> 00:06:37,795
Ted, you've been living your whole life in a seat belt.

145
00:06:37,887 --> 00:06:39,581
It's time to unclick.

146
00:06:42,171 --> 00:06:45,632
- Sir, the seat belt light's on.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry.

147
00:06:48,213 --> 00:06:49,718
Well, I grew up in Park Slope.

148
00:06:49,735 --> 00:06:52,417
Oh, I love Park Slope. When did you move to Manhattan?

149
00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:53,763
You're from Park Slope?

150
00:06:53,851 --> 00:06:55,049
Uh, no, she is.

151
00:06:55,771 --> 00:06:57,102
So where are you from?

152
00:06:57,159 --> 00:06:58,142
Heaven?

153
00:06:58,475 --> 00:07:00,199
Yeah, I'm a ghost.

154
00:07:00,227 --> 00:07:03,098
I died 15 years ago, like that pickup line.

155
00:07:03,287 --> 00:07:04,310
Hey-oh!

156
00:07:05,423 --> 00:07:06,443
God, I'm so sorry.

157
00:07:06,523 --> 00:07:07,946
Oh, believe me, I've been there.

158
00:07:08,018 --> 00:07:10,250
I have this line that I use when guys come...

159
00:07:10,353 --> 00:07:11,284
Check it out.

160
00:07:12,084 --> 00:07:13,128
Hey...

161
00:07:14,116 --> 00:07:17,203
You take this one. I'll save it for the next one.

162
00:07:20,258 --> 00:07:21,823
So what brings you guys to Philly?

163
00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:23,138
We're visiting our boyfriends.

164
00:07:23,221 --> 00:07:25,503
I think hers is going to propose this weekend.

165
00:07:25,995 --> 00:07:27,434
Isn't that great?

166
00:07:29,041 --> 00:07:30,408
So great.

167
00:07:34,950 --> 00:07:36,168
So there we were:

168
00:07:36,262 --> 00:07:40,060
stuck on an airplane to Philadelphia with two very un-single girls,

169
00:07:40,137 --> 00:07:42,113
all thanks to your Uncle Barney.

170
00:07:42,190 --> 00:07:43,321
Aren't they cute?

171
00:07:43,577 --> 00:07:45,682
They're both linebackers for the Eagles.

172
00:07:45,928 --> 00:07:47,013
Both?

173
00:07:47,356 --> 00:07:50,761
Both of their boyfriends are linebackers.

174
00:07:53,044 --> 00:07:54,825
You're going to Philly? Why?

175
00:07:55,874 --> 00:07:57,504
I didn't ask.

176
00:07:58,415 --> 00:08:01,457
Well, it's sounds like you're having a lot more fun than I am.

177
00:08:01,558 --> 00:08:04,840
I'm just talking to guy's backs while they hit on Robin.

178
00:08:04,928 --> 00:08:07,043
Yeah, I bet she gets that a lot.

179
00:08:07,436 --> 00:08:09,475
Don't you bet I get that a lot?

180
00:08:09,607 --> 00:08:10,892
Not with a ring on your finger.

181
00:08:10,954 --> 00:08:15,080
I mean, you know, guys see the ring, it's like ka-chong, Marshall parking only.

182
00:08:15,322 --> 00:08:17,836
Oh, of course. That's it, the ring.

183
00:08:17,973 --> 00:08:19,556
I guess I'm not used to it yet.

184
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:22,183
Oh, it's totally the ring. If you took that ring off your finger,

185
00:08:22,244 --> 00:08:24,559
you'd have a ton of guys crowding your junk.

186
00:08:25,028 --> 00:08:26,683
I'm not gonna take off my ring.

187
00:08:26,949 --> 00:08:30,753
Wouldn't you be jealous of guys swarming all over my beeswax?

188
00:08:31,024 --> 00:08:34,230
Oh, yeah, you know me-- I'm the jealous type.

189
00:08:34,302 --> 00:08:37,343
Any goon so much as looks at you, I'll sock him in the kisser.

190
00:08:37,389 --> 00:08:39,504
No. Seriously, you girls have a good time tonight.

191
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:40,722
Bye.

192
00:08:48,142 --> 00:08:48,990
Robin!

193
00:08:49,257 --> 00:08:50,045
Robin!

194
00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,160
Hey, I'm over here.

195
00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:56,696
G-G-Goin' to Philly!

196
00:08:56,755 --> 00:08:58,514
Marshall, don't come to Philly.

197
00:08:58,729 --> 00:09:00,409
But we're on an adventure.

198
00:09:00,485 --> 00:09:04,766
We're on a tarmac in Philadelphia. Crazy... adventure.

199
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:06,173
Fine.

200
00:09:07,536 --> 00:09:09,523
No! No!

201
00:09:09,605 --> 00:09:11,100
The night has just started.

202
00:09:11,217 --> 00:09:13,863
Look, airport bar. Flight attendants.

203
00:09:13,935 --> 00:09:16,526
They'll get your tray table in its full upright position.

204
00:09:16,587 --> 00:09:18,005
Say what?!

205
00:09:18,323 --> 00:09:21,667
Passengers Mosby and Stenson, please come with us, gentlemen.

206
00:09:21,739 --> 00:09:23,121
Keep your hands where I can see them.

207
00:09:23,208 --> 00:09:25,477
Barney, I am going to kill you.

208
00:09:25,512 --> 00:09:28,641
Don't say you're gonna kill someone in front of airport security.

209
00:09:28,697 --> 00:09:30,150
Not cool, not cool.

210
00:09:32,317 --> 00:09:34,616
This is an outrage!

211
00:09:34,678 --> 00:09:39,434
We are international businessmen on very important international business trip.

212
00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:41,840
I demand you release us immediately!

213
00:09:41,911 --> 00:09:43,750
You demand?! No, no, no, no, no.

214
00:09:43,821 --> 00:09:46,223
He does not demand. We-We-We-We have no demands.

215
00:09:46,285 --> 00:09:48,379
Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to remain calm.

216
00:09:48,435 --> 00:09:50,359
Okay. Yeah, I'm calm. I'm totally calm.

217
00:09:50,846 --> 00:09:54,923
We've got footage of you placing two bags on JFK carousel 3,

218
00:09:54,979 --> 00:09:59,376
and abandoning them to purchase a last-minute flight with cash.

219
00:09:59,403 --> 00:10:00,856
Those bags were your responsibility.

220
00:10:00,928 --> 00:10:03,375
- They were your bags!
- Sir, please.

221
00:10:03,805 --> 00:10:06,079
We're assessing the bag situation.

222
00:10:10,241 --> 00:10:12,648
Look, this is all just... It's a misunderstanding.

223
00:10:12,689 --> 00:10:13,712
Please.

224
00:10:14,895 --> 00:10:17,444
We are international businessmen.

225
00:10:17,687 --> 00:10:20,241
My colleague accidentally left the bags there.

226
00:10:20,297 --> 00:10:24,751
Now, please let us go before we miss our international business meeting.

227
00:10:26,461 --> 00:10:31,315
Can't remember the last time I saw an international businessman with an untucked shirt.

228
00:10:31,771 --> 00:10:36,445
In addition, we received this footage taken over the last few months.

229
00:11:02,542 --> 00:11:05,322
Believe it or not, that duffel bag thing worked.

230
00:11:07,078 --> 00:11:08,788
The truth is, my friend--

231
00:11:08,856 --> 00:11:11,005
he does this thing where he goes to airports with fake luggage

232
00:11:11,063 --> 00:11:13,939
to pick up girls, and we followed some here to Philadelphia.

233
00:11:14,022 --> 00:11:16,474
That-That-That's it. That's all this is.

234
00:11:17,252 --> 00:11:19,074
Nobody's that lame.

235
00:11:19,244 --> 00:11:21,272
Yes, he's that lame.

236
00:11:21,358 --> 00:11:22,921
Tell him you're that lame.

237
00:11:25,234 --> 00:11:28,086
- We are international businessmen.
- Oh, come on!

238
00:11:28,147 --> 00:11:31,337
Sir, lower your voice, or I will restrain you.

239
00:11:31,404 --> 00:11:33,427
Dude, seriously, relax.

240
00:11:34,266 --> 00:11:35,772
We at least get to call our lawyer.

241
00:11:35,824 --> 00:11:37,016
Exactly!

242
00:11:37,953 --> 00:11:39,109
We have a lawyer?

243
00:11:40,180 --> 00:11:42,618
Listen to me-- you're both American citizens.

244
00:11:42,684 --> 00:11:44,921
Dot let him pull any Patriot Act voodoo.

245
00:11:44,982 --> 00:11:48,233
You both retain the right to refuse to answer any questions without an attorney present,

246
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:50,503
so don't say anything until I get there, all right?

247
00:11:50,589 --> 00:11:51,731
Okay. Good-bye.

248
00:11:52,427 --> 00:11:53,963
Philly!

249
00:11:54,234 --> 00:11:57,215
The adventure continues!

250
00:11:57,357 --> 00:11:59,108
Destroy!

251
00:12:02,825 --> 00:12:05,166
It's ridiculous in here. Why don't we go somewhere else?

252
00:12:05,237 --> 00:12:08,582
No, this place is great.

253
00:12:11,188 --> 00:12:12,381
What are you doing?

254
00:12:12,657 --> 00:12:13,465
What?

255
00:12:13,604 --> 00:12:15,642
With your lips and everything?

256
00:12:16,322 --> 00:12:18,602
My lips are always like this.

257
00:12:27,271 --> 00:12:30,613
You had to play the race card.

258
00:12:31,125 --> 00:12:33,931
Oh, relax, Ted. We didn't do anything wrong.

259
00:12:34,019 --> 00:12:38,478
And, B.T.W., we'd be out of here by now if you had tucked in your shirt.

260
00:12:38,820 --> 00:12:41,586
Go ahead, JFK. What is the baggage status?

261
00:12:41,646 --> 00:12:42,595
They're clean.

262
00:12:42,689 --> 00:12:44,334
It's just a whole bunch of condoms.

263
00:12:45,047 --> 00:12:46,315
And a PowerBar.

264
00:12:48,127 --> 00:12:49,613
You're free to go.

265
00:12:51,625 --> 00:12:52,799
Don't come to Philly.

266
00:12:53,049 --> 00:12:54,442
Man, I'm almost halfway there.

267
00:12:54,504 --> 00:12:56,730
Yeah, we just got released and we're heading back on the next flight.

268
00:12:56,792 --> 00:12:59,000
Uh, meet us at McClaren's. Maybe we can still make last call.

269
00:12:59,091 --> 00:13:00,364
Can't we just, just...

270
00:13:00,406 --> 00:13:01,929
No, we can't just.

271
00:13:01,970 --> 00:13:03,008
We're going home.

272
00:13:03,566 --> 00:13:04,812
We're going to Sasha's.

273
00:13:05,332 --> 00:13:06,229
Who the hell is Sasha?

274
00:13:06,361 --> 00:13:07,826
Sasha.

275
00:13:07,869 --> 00:13:10,811
She's having friends over for drinks at her house.

276
00:13:10,878 --> 00:13:13,714
It's gonna be legen... wait for it--

277
00:13:13,786 --> 00:13:17,426
and I hope you're not lactose-intolerant 'cause the second half of that word is... dary!

278
00:13:17,667 --> 00:13:19,382
- No.
- Legendary.

279
00:13:19,446 --> 00:13:21,205
Legendary. That sounds awesome.

280
00:13:21,317 --> 00:13:23,079
No, Marshall, we're going back.

281
00:13:23,359 --> 00:13:24,226
Fine.

282
00:13:24,478 --> 00:13:26,078
Hold on. I have another call.

283
00:13:26,733 --> 00:13:29,162
- Hello?
- Marshall, we're going to Sasha's.

284
00:13:29,203 --> 00:13:30,300
No, we're not.

285
00:13:30,594 --> 00:13:32,862
- Ted, Ted, Ted.
- Right here.

286
00:13:32,949 --> 00:13:34,016
Yes, we are.

287
00:13:34,199 --> 00:13:36,504
Sorry, buddy-- two against one.

288
00:13:38,828 --> 00:13:40,226
Ooh, look, a booth opened up.

289
00:13:40,303 --> 00:13:41,122
Really?

290
00:13:41,271 --> 00:13:42,848
Yeah, I thought we could finally go talk...

291
00:13:42,930 --> 00:13:45,125
and you're not listening to me, so I'm going to walk away.

292
00:13:45,141 --> 00:13:46,396
Yeah, yeah, booth.

293
00:13:51,741 --> 00:13:53,016
- Hey.
- Hey.

294
00:13:54,142 --> 00:13:56,380
I'm engaged. You know, I'm sorry.

295
00:13:56,407 --> 00:14:01,188
I took my ring off. It's very, very sweet of you to come over and talk to me, but I just...

296
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:02,606
Yeah, I'm gay.

297
00:14:03,251 --> 00:14:06,139
I just came over to let you know that you sat on a grape.

298
00:14:07,752 --> 00:14:10,209
Oh, damn it.

299
00:14:15,048 --> 00:14:18,416
So Barney and I hit the town. Philadelphia, PA.

300
00:14:18,459 --> 00:14:20,234
Our first and only stop:

301
00:14:20,454 --> 00:14:21,714
Sasha's party.

302
00:14:26,105 --> 00:14:29,122
So, uh... you're Sasha's friends, uh?

303
00:14:29,145 --> 00:14:30,136
You know it.

304
00:14:31,831 --> 00:14:34,769
You guys, keep the volume down.

305
00:14:34,925 --> 00:14:36,695
You're gonna wake my grandpa.

306
00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:41,071
Who wants hard lemonade?

307
00:14:48,426 --> 00:14:49,193
Philly!

308
00:14:49,357 --> 00:14:50,300
Shh!

309
00:14:51,067 --> 00:14:52,045
Philly.

310
00:14:56,868 --> 00:15:00,867
Back at the bar, girls' night out wasn't going as Robin had hoped.

311
00:15:06,382 --> 00:15:07,519
Lily's phone.

312
00:15:07,656 --> 00:15:09,561
Robin, uh, where's Lily?

313
00:15:09,802 --> 00:15:11,327
She's, uh...

314
00:15:11,803 --> 00:15:13,846
Is she talking to some hot guy?

315
00:15:14,143 --> 00:15:16,908
Oh, you can tell me. It's totally cool. It was my idea.

316
00:15:16,989 --> 00:15:18,909
Hell, I told her she could take the ring off.

317
00:15:19,008 --> 00:15:21,833
Really? Well, I thought it was kind of weird, but if you're cool with it,

318
00:15:21,916 --> 00:15:24,466
yeah, uh, it's off, and she's talking to some guy.

319
00:15:24,521 --> 00:15:27,164
- Do you want me to go over and...
- No, no, don't interrupt.

320
00:15:27,229 --> 00:15:28,218
It's awesome.

321
00:15:29,606 --> 00:15:31,962
So, the ring's really off, huh?

322
00:15:32,806 --> 00:15:33,969
It's awesome.

323
00:15:35,669 --> 00:15:37,751
Well, just tell her I called.

324
00:15:37,915 --> 00:15:42,031
And tell her that she is... awesome.

325
00:15:46,584 --> 00:15:49,297
Really, really awesome.

326
00:15:51,059 --> 00:15:55,463
Our relationship is built on mutual trust.

327
00:15:56,629 --> 00:15:58,268
I can't breathe.

328
00:15:59,890 --> 00:16:01,303
You hear that, Ted?

329
00:16:01,370 --> 00:16:03,573
Dana works security at the Liberty Bell.

330
00:16:03,620 --> 00:16:04,596
I do okay.

331
00:16:05,558 --> 00:16:07,658
Wow, it must be really well cordoned off over there.

332
00:16:07,699 --> 00:16:10,136
Do you ever go behind the rope and touch it?

333
00:16:10,259 --> 00:16:11,560
Only all the time.

334
00:16:12,311 --> 00:16:14,120
You ever, like, stick your head inside it?

335
00:16:14,554 --> 00:16:15,333
Yeah.

336
00:16:16,401 --> 00:16:17,632
You ever lick it?

337
00:16:18,533 --> 00:16:19,367
Nope.

338
00:16:20,233 --> 00:16:21,989
I have never licked it.

339
00:16:23,023 --> 00:16:27,517
I bet nobody in history has ever licked the Liberty Bell.

340
00:16:27,743 --> 00:16:31,788
If someone were to pull that off, I dare say it would be...

341
00:16:31,836 --> 00:16:33,264
what's the word?

342
00:16:33,653 --> 00:16:35,244
Well, this is my stop.

343
00:16:35,363 --> 00:16:37,227
Legendary. Ted, legendary.

344
00:16:37,248 --> 00:16:39,659
Barney, I'm going to the airport. Sasha, thank you,

345
00:16:39,751 --> 00:16:43,243
and, uh, tell your grandpa I'm sorry I walked in on him in the bathroom.

346
00:16:45,402 --> 00:16:47,538
I'll get some club soda for that stain.

347
00:16:50,691 --> 00:16:53,027
Lily, I thought tonight was about us hanging out.

348
00:16:53,039 --> 00:16:54,106
What are you doing?

349
00:16:54,286 --> 00:16:58,111
Just fending off the advances of that totally hot guy.

350
00:16:58,185 --> 00:17:01,653
- Dude, I think that guy is gay.
- Oh, I know that guy is gay.

351
00:17:02,048 --> 00:17:04,722
It's just, Marshall and I have been together for nine years.

352
00:17:04,792 --> 00:17:07,147
I haven't been single since high school.

353
00:17:07,403 --> 00:17:08,679
You want to be single?

354
00:17:08,944 --> 00:17:10,798
You want to fight off loser guys all night?

355
00:17:10,865 --> 00:17:12,176
Does that seem like fun to you?

356
00:17:12,252 --> 00:17:15,258
I guess I just wanted to throw this net back into the ocean

357
00:17:15,345 --> 00:17:18,207
and see how many fish I could catch.

358
00:17:18,355 --> 00:17:21,202
So far, one. One gay dolphin.

359
00:17:21,632 --> 00:17:22,947
And Marshall.

360
00:17:23,291 --> 00:17:27,203
Lily, all these girls here tonight are all hoping to catch what you've already got.

361
00:17:27,822 --> 00:17:29,563
You're right. I know.

362
00:17:30,526 --> 00:17:34,347
Hey, do you want to go get coffee and have an actual conversation?

363
00:17:34,437 --> 00:17:38,036
If by "coffee" you mean "cheesecake," then yes.

364
00:17:38,441 --> 00:17:40,300
Hey, I got that club soda.

365
00:17:40,388 --> 00:17:41,457
Let's see that booty.

366
00:17:41,534 --> 00:17:43,519
Oh, thank you so much.

367
00:17:47,724 --> 00:17:49,163
You want to mess, pal?

368
00:17:49,170 --> 00:17:51,758
That's my fiancée's hot backside that you're dabbing.

369
00:17:51,841 --> 00:17:53,335
Marshall, no.

370
00:17:53,453 --> 00:17:57,487
Baby, please, don't ever take that ring off again, no matter how awesome I say that it is.

371
00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,460
- It's okay, man...
- Back off, hombre!

372
00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:01,317
I'm not that afraid to fight you.

373
00:18:01,415 --> 00:18:04,350
You want to test this guy, be my guest, come on.

374
00:18:04,420 --> 00:18:06,023
Marshall, he's gay.

375
00:18:06,059 --> 00:18:08,548
Oh, thank God. I've never been in a fight before.

376
00:18:09,090 --> 00:18:10,596
You don't say.

377
00:18:11,348 --> 00:18:14,445
So, it turned out Uncle Marshall really was the jealous type.

378
00:18:14,533 --> 00:18:16,884
Unfortunately, that guy's boyfriend--

379
00:18:17,001 --> 00:18:18,628
also the jealous type.

380
00:18:20,304 --> 00:18:21,189
Hey!

381
00:18:29,084 --> 00:18:31,823
Could have licked the Liberty Bell.

382
00:18:32,186 --> 00:18:34,204
We're going to the airport.

383
00:18:35,669 --> 00:18:36,851
Bong...

384
00:18:38,142 --> 00:18:39,298
bong...

385
00:18:40,630 --> 00:18:43,235
Why do I hang out with you? Why?

386
00:18:43,333 --> 00:18:46,312
All I wanted was to have a regular beer at my regular bar

387
00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:49,149
with my regular friends in my regular city.

388
00:18:49,272 --> 00:18:50,849
Ted, Ted, Ted.

389
00:18:51,674 --> 00:18:53,065
You're not even looking.

390
00:18:53,292 --> 00:18:54,372
No, I'm not.

391
00:18:54,776 --> 00:18:59,216
Look, our forefathers died for the pursuit of happiness, okay?

392
00:18:59,272 --> 00:19:02,242
Not for the sit around and wait of happiness.

393
00:19:02,477 --> 00:19:05,876
Now, if you want, you can go to the same bar, drink the same beer,

394
00:19:05,937 --> 00:19:10,818
talk to the same people every day, or you can lick the Liberty Bell.

395
00:19:10,884 --> 00:19:16,102
You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it.

396
00:19:17,704 --> 00:19:19,215
That was beautiful, man.

397
00:19:20,429 --> 00:19:21,467
Thanks, Leonard.

398
00:19:22,174 --> 00:19:24,933
Ted, you're missing out on a valuable life lesson here.

399
00:19:24,940 --> 00:19:26,992
Look, I don't need you to teach me how to live, okay?

400
00:19:27,063 --> 00:19:28,637
I know how to live.

401
00:19:28,717 --> 00:19:31,732
If you want to go lick the Liberty Bell, just go lick it yourself.

402
00:19:31,744 --> 00:19:33,285
No, it has to be the two of us.

403
00:19:33,315 --> 00:19:35,040
Why? Why do you need me?

404
00:19:35,052 --> 00:19:37,371
Because you're my best friend, all right?

405
00:19:38,155 --> 00:19:40,304
You don't have to tell me I'm yours,

406
00:19:40,539 --> 00:19:42,792
but the way I see it, we're a team.

407
00:19:42,956 --> 00:19:44,513
Without you, I'm...

408
00:19:45,558 --> 00:19:47,641
I'm just the Dynamic Uno.

409
00:19:48,845 --> 00:19:54,282
So, fine, if you wanto go home, then we'll go home.

410
00:19:57,487 --> 00:19:58,946
Fine.

411
00:19:59,336 --> 00:20:01,834
We'll go lick the Liberty Bell.

412
00:20:02,081 --> 00:20:03,309
Good 'cause we're here.

413
00:20:05,337 --> 00:20:09,074
I had no idea how Barney redirected the cab without me knowing, but we got out,

414
00:20:09,145 --> 00:20:13,247
Dana let us in, and by God, we licked the Liberty Bell.

415
00:20:13,341 --> 00:20:14,860
You know what it tastes like?

416
00:20:14,915 --> 00:20:15,843
What?

417
00:20:17,605 --> 00:20:18,475
Freedom.

418
00:20:19,412 --> 00:20:21,475
No, actually, it tastes like pennies.

419
00:20:22,273 --> 00:20:23,227
Oh, my God.

420
00:20:23,349 --> 00:20:25,008
Did you guys really do that?

421
00:20:25,263 --> 00:20:26,538
We really did.

422
00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:29,790
And that was when I realized why I hung out with Barney.

423
00:20:29,883 --> 00:20:32,017
I never got where I thought I wanted to go,

424
00:20:32,059 --> 00:20:34,009
but I always got a great story.

425
00:20:37,726 --> 00:20:40,894
So, that girl you were talking to-- that was Mom?

426
00:20:40,967 --> 00:20:44,818
Kids, every story in a man's life is like a dot in an Impressionist painting...

427
00:20:44,899 --> 00:20:46,124
So that's a no?

428
00:20:46,385 --> 00:20:47,916
Yeah, that's a no.

429
00:20:48,935 --> 00:20:50,801
What? Come on!

430
00:20:51,035 --> 00:20:53,201
Transcript : Raceman
Subtitles : Willow's Team
www.forom.com