1 00:00:00,583 --> 00:00:02,921 And so, after six months apart, 2 00:00:02,932 --> 00:00:05,656 Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall were finally back together. 3 00:00:05,667 --> 00:00:07,092 Oh, my God. 4 00:00:07,596 --> 00:00:09,599 These pancakes are delicious! 5 00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:10,912 Yes. Thank you. 6 00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:12,954 Um, I learned how to cook while you were gone this summer. 7 00:00:12,984 --> 00:00:15,748 Oh. Do you want to cook dinner tonight? 8 00:00:15,774 --> 00:00:17,963 Yeah, sure. 9 00:00:18,404 --> 00:00:20,092 How about pancakes? 10 00:00:20,708 --> 00:00:23,350 And things were back to normal... almost. 11 00:00:23,363 --> 00:00:25,864 You may not have much range, but at least I'm marrying a guy 12 00:00:25,877 --> 00:00:28,084 who knows how to make pancakes. 13 00:00:31,461 --> 00:00:33,071 Oh, um... 14 00:00:33,129 --> 00:00:34,662 I mean, um... 15 00:00:35,026 --> 00:00:39,192 Well, I... I realize that we haven't really discussed 16 00:00:39,208 --> 00:00:43,432 whether us getting back together means us getting married, but... 17 00:00:43,886 --> 00:00:45,632 I still wanna. 18 00:00:45,647 --> 00:00:47,451 Do you still wanna? 19 00:00:47,556 --> 00:00:49,210 Really? 20 00:00:50,375 --> 00:00:52,203 Of course, I love you. 21 00:00:52,217 --> 00:00:54,511 No, I mean, that's how you're gonna do it? 22 00:00:54,525 --> 00:00:58,651 "Do you still wanna?" That's like the lamest proposal ever. 23 00:00:58,686 --> 00:01:02,762 When I did it, I got down on my knees... I don't know, I'm just saying. 24 00:01:06,057 --> 00:01:09,163 Marshall Eriksen, will you ma... 25 00:01:09,175 --> 00:01:11,340 - No, no, no, no, no, no. - What?! 26 00:01:11,366 --> 00:01:14,002 You can't lead with that. You got to... build up to that. 27 00:01:14,015 --> 00:01:16,700 You got to have, like, a little speech. 28 00:01:16,717 --> 00:01:19,551 Do you remember your proposal to me? 29 00:01:20,085 --> 00:01:22,563 I had a speech prepared. 30 00:01:22,577 --> 00:01:24,570 What do you want to hear? 31 00:01:24,586 --> 00:01:27,060 I don't know. I mean, you could tell me, 32 00:01:27,077 --> 00:01:31,850 like, about how good-looking and funny and smart I am 33 00:01:31,868 --> 00:01:33,382 and I've been working out lately. 34 00:01:33,396 --> 00:01:37,682 It might be nice for you to mention something... about that. 35 00:01:38,455 --> 00:01:40,212 Marshall... 36 00:01:40,228 --> 00:01:43,111 - you are good-looking... - Thank you. 37 00:01:43,126 --> 00:01:44,560 - You're funny. - Oh, thanks. 38 00:01:44,588 --> 00:01:46,373 - You're smart. - And a few tears wouldn't hurt. 39 00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:48,202 Okay, would you freakin' marry me already? 40 00:01:48,217 --> 00:01:50,420 I'll marry you. Of course. 41 00:01:50,436 --> 00:01:54,891 But, um, until you see a ring on this finger, don't expect me to put out. 42 00:01:54,906 --> 00:01:56,852 Yeah, right. 43 00:01:59,225 --> 00:02:01,773 Transcript : Raceman Subtitles : Willow's Team 44 00:02:03,477 --> 00:02:06,251 www.forom.com 45 00:02:17,525 --> 00:02:19,153 I'll give you this. 46 00:02:19,536 --> 00:02:22,122 That was a very creative use of syrup. 47 00:02:23,286 --> 00:02:26,611 I can't even look Mrs. Butterworth in the eye. 48 00:02:29,267 --> 00:02:32,153 Oh, my God. We're getting married! 49 00:02:32,168 --> 00:02:33,880 I know, I know. 50 00:02:34,417 --> 00:02:36,413 It was a moment of happiness, 51 00:02:36,428 --> 00:02:39,291 followed of course by a moment of total panic. 52 00:02:39,305 --> 00:02:41,411 See, when they called off their first wedding, 53 00:02:41,428 --> 00:02:43,720 Aunt Lily took off for San Francisco 54 00:02:43,735 --> 00:02:46,093 leaving Uncle Marshall with the unfortunate task 55 00:02:46,108 --> 00:02:47,863 of telling his entire family. 56 00:02:47,875 --> 00:02:50,842 Yeah, so now she's gone and the wedding's off. 57 00:02:50,918 --> 00:02:53,231 What do you call someone who just takes off and leaves like that? 58 00:02:53,266 --> 00:02:54,722 What do you call that? 59 00:02:56,058 --> 00:02:58,433 I think that that's a little strong. 60 00:02:58,456 --> 00:03:01,582 I can't even believe you would use a word like that. 61 00:03:01,596 --> 00:03:03,500 Geez, Grandma. 62 00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:08,912 Man, I made a big mess by canceling this wedding, didn't I? 63 00:03:08,926 --> 00:03:10,870 It's okay, baby. 64 00:03:11,476 --> 00:03:14,132 You're not just realizing that now, are you? 65 00:03:15,547 --> 00:03:19,261 God, the idea of standing up there in front of all those people 66 00:03:19,278 --> 00:03:21,161 who hate my guts... 67 00:03:21,176 --> 00:03:25,433 just makes me want to run off to Atlantic City and get married today. 68 00:03:25,445 --> 00:03:26,951 Yeah. 69 00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:33,403 Coming up at 11:00: Are there piranhas in the East River? 70 00:03:33,416 --> 00:03:37,253 What you don't know... could eat you. 71 00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,511 Robin! Stop the news! 72 00:03:39,538 --> 00:03:41,642 - What the hell? - It's okay. They're my friends. 73 00:03:41,658 --> 00:03:44,502 We're going to Atlantic City to elope. You got to come with us. 74 00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:46,493 Oh, my God, that is so fantastic! 75 00:03:46,508 --> 00:03:48,392 I-I don't know if I can just leave work. 76 00:03:48,408 --> 00:03:51,022 It's okay; Mike can read the news tonight. 77 00:03:51,038 --> 00:03:54,122 Hey, Mike... you can read, right? 78 00:03:54,247 --> 00:03:56,532 Yeah, I'm the best at reading. 79 00:03:57,215 --> 00:03:59,692 - Let's go to Atlantic City! - Yeah! 80 00:04:01,315 --> 00:04:04,861 You guys are eloping! Oh, that's fantastic. 81 00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:07,630 Wait, is this because there's a time crunch Uncle Ted should know about? 82 00:04:07,666 --> 00:04:10,540 I hope not because I plan on getting hammered. 83 00:04:10,758 --> 00:04:13,860 Guys, this sounds like so much fun, but I can't really take off work. 84 00:04:13,877 --> 00:04:16,592 I'm kind of important around here, you know? I'm the project manager. 85 00:04:16,628 --> 00:04:18,602 Ted, for the rest of our lives, 86 00:04:18,618 --> 00:04:20,792 we are going to be telling the amazing story 87 00:04:20,806 --> 00:04:23,472 of how we went to Atlantic City and got married. 88 00:04:23,486 --> 00:04:25,990 Don't you want to be in that story? 89 00:04:26,107 --> 00:04:27,481 Of course I do. 90 00:04:27,497 --> 00:04:29,293 - Let's go to Atlantic City! - Yeah! 91 00:04:29,625 --> 00:04:32,583 Oh, but when we tell the story, can you leave out the part where I hesitate? 92 00:04:32,617 --> 00:04:34,072 You got it. 93 00:04:36,255 --> 00:04:37,901 Hey, guys. 94 00:04:38,265 --> 00:04:40,631 Wow. A pedicure. 95 00:04:40,648 --> 00:04:43,460 Uh, if there were any shame in a dude getting a pedicure 96 00:04:43,476 --> 00:04:47,643 I don't think there would have been a feature about it in Details magazine. 97 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:51,391 We're going to Atlantic City to elope right now! 98 00:04:51,406 --> 00:04:53,802 Oh, congratulations, Lily. 99 00:04:53,818 --> 00:04:56,763 Marshall, you're getting married? What the hell? 100 00:04:56,777 --> 00:04:58,730 So are you in or not? 101 00:04:58,748 --> 00:05:00,182 Hell, yeah, I'm in! 102 00:05:00,197 --> 00:05:01,710 Just... I'm almost done. 103 00:05:01,728 --> 00:05:04,530 - No, we got to get going to the... - Well, actually, I mean... 104 00:05:04,546 --> 00:05:07,683 It is my wedding day, and since we're here... 105 00:05:08,746 --> 00:05:12,253 So we all got a pedicure and then headed down... 106 00:05:12,267 --> 00:05:14,561 to Atlantic City. 107 00:05:21,027 --> 00:05:24,293 Wow. Look at this place. 108 00:05:24,305 --> 00:05:26,561 I guess I'll have my pick of something old. 109 00:05:26,585 --> 00:05:29,943 And something blue. Somebody should really check on this lady. 110 00:05:30,766 --> 00:05:34,260 Ah, A.C., always in decline, 111 00:05:34,278 --> 00:05:35,942 never hitting bottom. 112 00:05:35,955 --> 00:05:38,203 It's good to be back, old friend. 113 00:05:38,217 --> 00:05:39,650 You been here before? 114 00:05:39,666 --> 00:05:41,312 Oh, uh, once or twice. 115 00:05:41,325 --> 00:05:42,650 Barney! 116 00:05:43,297 --> 00:05:45,500 Ah, good to see you, too. 117 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,691 Three times, maybe. 118 00:05:48,358 --> 00:05:50,543 The wedding chapel-- this is it. 119 00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:52,362 Are you ready to do this? 120 00:05:52,378 --> 00:05:53,760 I'm ready. 121 00:05:54,027 --> 00:05:56,000 - Let's get married. - Yeah. 122 00:05:56,108 --> 00:05:58,443 Oh, crap. I don't have a veil. 123 00:05:58,458 --> 00:06:01,381 I'm a bride; I can't get married without a veil. 124 00:06:01,397 --> 00:06:04,290 And a bouquet. I need a veil and a bouquet. 125 00:06:04,305 --> 00:06:06,833 Oh, my God, we're getting married. 126 00:06:06,846 --> 00:06:09,123 Don't worry. Relax. We'll get you a veil, honey. 127 00:06:09,138 --> 00:06:11,482 Oh, Robin, that's a really cute outfit. 128 00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:12,732 Oh, really? Thanks. 129 00:06:12,746 --> 00:06:15,570 Yeah, it has to go. I'm the bride; you can't look better than me. 130 00:06:15,586 --> 00:06:16,820 Done. 131 00:06:16,906 --> 00:06:19,810 I'm going to get the bouquet. You guys get the veil. 132 00:06:19,827 --> 00:06:21,883 We'll meet in the chapel in 20 minutes. 133 00:06:21,895 --> 00:06:23,461 Ready, break. 134 00:06:25,807 --> 00:06:27,333 You guys want to go gamble? 135 00:06:27,345 --> 00:06:28,781 No, we got to go get the veil. 136 00:06:28,795 --> 00:06:31,031 Or we looked everywhere, and we couldn't find one. 137 00:06:31,047 --> 00:06:32,413 Yeah, okay. 138 00:06:32,438 --> 00:06:35,440 No, you guys go ahead. I'm going to find the veil. 139 00:06:37,515 --> 00:06:40,873 So this is it, right? The last 20 minutes of your single life. 140 00:06:40,888 --> 00:06:41,993 - I'm proud of you, buddy. - Thanks. 141 00:06:42,028 --> 00:06:43,690 - How are you feeling? - Great, a little nervous. 142 00:06:43,728 --> 00:06:45,533 - Yeah? Craps? - Not that nervous. 143 00:06:45,548 --> 00:06:48,020 - No, I mean do you want to play craps. - Oh, yeah, definitely. 144 00:06:48,163 --> 00:06:49,664 Okay, I got the veil. 145 00:06:49,677 --> 00:06:51,124 She wasn't ready to be married. 146 00:06:51,131 --> 00:06:52,691 All right, let's talk bachelor party. 147 00:06:52,709 --> 00:06:54,850 Are we thinking full-on strip club, or should we rent a room 148 00:06:54,886 --> 00:06:57,630 and have a private toy show-- whew. 149 00:06:57,648 --> 00:06:59,081 What did you just say? 150 00:06:59,095 --> 00:07:02,081 - Barney, no. - Marshall, I'm your best man. 151 00:07:02,098 --> 00:07:03,773 - You're not my best man. - Right here. 152 00:07:03,785 --> 00:07:06,661 And as your best man, I have to throw you a bachelor party. 153 00:07:06,675 --> 00:07:08,263 That's part of being a best friend. 154 00:07:08,277 --> 00:07:09,333 - You're not my best friend. - Right here. 155 00:07:09,367 --> 00:07:11,642 Barney, I don't have any time for a bachelor party. 156 00:07:11,668 --> 00:07:13,932 I've got, like, 18 minutes. 157 00:07:14,696 --> 00:07:16,602 18 minutes. 158 00:07:18,327 --> 00:07:20,582 Oh, good. Did you get the veil? 159 00:07:20,598 --> 00:07:21,710 Of course. 160 00:07:21,728 --> 00:07:24,852 And it took us exactly 18 minutes. 161 00:07:24,868 --> 00:07:26,003 We went to a strip club. 162 00:07:26,017 --> 00:07:27,531 - Dude! - Unbelievable! 163 00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:29,242 We weren't there for very long. It's not like I had time 164 00:07:29,278 --> 00:07:32,302 to have a lap dance or anything. I got a lap dance. 165 00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:34,772 - Your last lap dance ever. - Right... 166 00:07:34,795 --> 00:07:35,750 What? 167 00:07:35,776 --> 00:07:38,850 Okay, I'm here. Right? 168 00:07:38,866 --> 00:07:42,920 Oh, God, the things people waste money on in Atlantic City. 169 00:07:42,936 --> 00:07:44,662 Does it smell like strippers in here? 170 00:07:44,678 --> 00:07:46,032 That's weird, right? 171 00:07:46,045 --> 00:07:48,270 Marshall and Lily are getting married! 172 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:50,392 Hell, yeah, look at this. 173 00:07:53,236 --> 00:07:55,940 Oh, baby, this is it. 174 00:07:55,958 --> 00:07:58,162 - Let's do this thing. - All right. 175 00:07:58,375 --> 00:08:01,223 Hi. We're here to get married. 176 00:08:01,238 --> 00:08:04,423 Congratulations. We offer a variety of packages 177 00:08:04,445 --> 00:08:07,933 to give you the special day you've always dreamed about. 178 00:08:08,028 --> 00:08:11,003 We don't want any of that. Just your basic quickie wedding will be fine. 179 00:08:11,025 --> 00:08:12,293 Yeah. 180 00:08:14,836 --> 00:08:17,391 You know this isn't Vegas, right? 181 00:08:17,408 --> 00:08:20,221 Well, sure. In Vegas, the casinos pump in oxygen. 182 00:08:20,235 --> 00:08:22,523 Here, it looks like everyone brought their own. 183 00:08:23,457 --> 00:08:24,693 What? 184 00:08:25,408 --> 00:08:29,313 It also takes three days to get a marriage license in New Jersey. 185 00:08:29,328 --> 00:08:31,370 The earliest I could book you for is Monday. 186 00:08:31,387 --> 00:08:34,831 No, no, no, it has to be today. That's the whole point. 187 00:08:34,858 --> 00:08:36,300 Look, I don't know what to say, 188 00:08:36,316 --> 00:08:38,921 but if you guys don't want to book a wedding for Monday 189 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:41,811 or play a round of keno, I can't help you. 190 00:08:42,628 --> 00:08:44,653 Thirty-five. 191 00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:55,091 Wait, I don't understand, people get married in Atlantic City all the time. 192 00:08:55,105 --> 00:08:57,281 Yes, they do, but they don't elope. 193 00:08:57,297 --> 00:09:00,233 They choose Atlantic City for its white sand beaches, 194 00:09:00,245 --> 00:09:03,603 world-class amenities, and exotic Riviera feel. 195 00:09:03,615 --> 00:09:05,182 Have you been outside? 196 00:09:05,206 --> 00:09:08,742 There is half an orca whale rotting not 20 feet from the cabana. 197 00:09:08,765 --> 00:09:10,231 You guys, take it easy, guys. 198 00:09:10,247 --> 00:09:11,621 Are you sure about this? 199 00:09:11,638 --> 00:09:15,490 About the marriage laws of the state where I work in a wedding chapel? 200 00:09:15,506 --> 00:09:17,340 Yeah, I'm pretty sure. 201 00:09:17,757 --> 00:09:20,860 Bright side: the bachelor party continues! 202 00:09:20,885 --> 00:09:21,720 Yes! 203 00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:24,380 Continues? You mean "start." He means "start." 204 00:09:24,398 --> 00:09:26,230 We went to a strip club. 205 00:09:26,537 --> 00:09:28,831 Twenty-seven. 206 00:09:30,496 --> 00:09:33,412 Is there any way that we could get a license today? 207 00:09:33,427 --> 00:09:35,000 You could go to the courthouse. 208 00:09:35,017 --> 00:09:38,791 In some extreme circumstances, the waiting period can be waived, 209 00:09:38,805 --> 00:09:40,671 but you have to have a good reason. 210 00:09:40,685 --> 00:09:42,042 Well, we're in love. 211 00:09:42,057 --> 00:09:43,943 What better reason could there be? 212 00:09:43,965 --> 00:09:45,030 The last one I heard was, 213 00:09:45,048 --> 00:09:47,892 "I'm going to Iraq tomorrow to defend my country," 214 00:09:47,907 --> 00:09:50,963 but, you know, give yours a whirl. 215 00:09:52,238 --> 00:09:54,710 So we went to the courthouse. 216 00:09:55,555 --> 00:09:58,053 God, this is taking forever. 217 00:09:58,617 --> 00:10:00,632 Can't believe they're getting married. 218 00:10:00,648 --> 00:10:01,543 I know. 219 00:10:01,555 --> 00:10:04,452 I am so proud of these two. After all they've been through. 220 00:10:04,465 --> 00:10:07,392 In fact, that crazy road has led them 221 00:10:07,408 --> 00:10:09,842 all the way here to Atlantic City. 222 00:10:09,866 --> 00:10:11,440 Ted, up here. 223 00:10:12,105 --> 00:10:14,833 You were just staring at my shirt boobs. 224 00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:16,332 No! I wasn't. 225 00:10:16,347 --> 00:10:19,600 I-I was checking out the hot bod underneath the shirt. 226 00:10:19,615 --> 00:10:22,883 Okay, look, maybe I was looking at your shirt, 227 00:10:22,897 --> 00:10:26,980 but it's a, it's a funny, funny shirt. 228 00:10:26,995 --> 00:10:29,123 Hey, it's Barney! 229 00:10:29,135 --> 00:10:31,003 - Barney! - Hi. 230 00:10:34,527 --> 00:10:36,122 ...suit up. 231 00:10:44,126 --> 00:10:45,901 ...legend. 232 00:10:47,268 --> 00:10:48,850 ...Daddy. 233 00:10:49,086 --> 00:10:50,540 American daddy. 234 00:10:56,225 --> 00:10:57,651 What the hell was that? 235 00:10:57,665 --> 00:11:00,210 A... Chinese guy? 236 00:11:01,446 --> 00:11:04,082 Hi. Hello. Uh, we need a marriage license, 237 00:11:04,095 --> 00:11:07,073 but we need to skip the waiting period because... 238 00:11:07,085 --> 00:11:08,222 we're in love. 239 00:11:08,237 --> 00:11:12,092 Aw. I'm gonna waive this waiting period right now. 240 00:11:12,115 --> 00:11:13,161 Oh, really?! 241 00:11:13,177 --> 00:11:15,473 Is what I would say if I could waive the waiting period, 242 00:11:15,485 --> 00:11:18,553 but unfortunately, only a judge can do that. 243 00:11:18,565 --> 00:11:21,241 Oh. Well, so can we see a judge? 244 00:11:21,258 --> 00:11:23,173 - Absolutely. - Really?! 245 00:11:23,185 --> 00:11:26,200 Is what I would say if there was any chance of you seeing a judge today, 246 00:11:26,217 --> 00:11:28,541 which there isn't. 247 00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:31,703 Why are you doing this to us?! 248 00:11:31,716 --> 00:11:34,130 'Cause you're on Candid Camera! 249 00:11:34,148 --> 00:11:36,023 - Really?! - Is what I would say... 250 00:11:36,036 --> 00:11:37,840 You know what? We get it. 251 00:11:40,145 --> 00:11:43,260 Okay, this is a good plan B. 252 00:11:43,275 --> 00:11:45,451 Judges are people. People go to the batoom. 253 00:11:45,466 --> 00:11:47,513 A judge is bound to come by eventually, 254 00:11:47,525 --> 00:11:48,873 and we'll get married. 255 00:11:48,886 --> 00:11:51,110 I'm sure we won't be waiting long. 256 00:11:57,435 --> 00:12:00,973 Geez, you go to a vending machine for 30 seconds. 257 00:12:00,986 --> 00:12:02,291 Vultures. 258 00:12:09,528 --> 00:12:10,850 What? 259 00:12:12,456 --> 00:12:13,550 Here? 260 00:12:13,568 --> 00:12:15,990 Yeah. Got a little time to kill. 261 00:12:16,935 --> 00:12:19,850 Oh, my God, it's the T-shirt, isn't it? 262 00:12:19,867 --> 00:12:20,933 No. 263 00:12:21,246 --> 00:12:22,243 A little. 264 00:12:22,256 --> 00:12:24,801 Something is seriously wrong with you. 265 00:12:24,825 --> 00:12:26,873 So what, is that a no? 266 00:12:27,918 --> 00:12:29,713 - All right, let's do it. - All right. 267 00:12:29,725 --> 00:12:31,530 Um, also...? 268 00:12:31,546 --> 00:12:33,431 - Yes, I'll leave it on. - Sweet. 269 00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:36,351 Guys, let's bail. This is never gonna happen. 270 00:12:36,368 --> 00:12:39,431 Look, I know this is turning into a bit of a disaster, 271 00:12:39,446 --> 00:12:42,651 but believe me, it's better than the alternative. 272 00:12:42,665 --> 00:12:45,711 You throwing a big, free party with lots of booze and food 273 00:12:45,728 --> 00:12:48,281 and all your single, desperate girlfriends from college? 274 00:12:48,298 --> 00:12:51,210 Yeah, glad we dodged that bullet. 275 00:12:51,766 --> 00:12:54,670 Judge! Judge, come on. Come on, come on, come on! 276 00:13:02,325 --> 00:13:03,991 - Turn it off. - Okay. 277 00:13:05,578 --> 00:13:08,421 May we please get married today? 278 00:13:08,436 --> 00:13:11,481 Now, normally I would say no to a request like that, 279 00:13:11,507 --> 00:13:13,591 but you two impress me. 280 00:13:13,608 --> 00:13:16,731 Just the fact that you've been together for ten years, 281 00:13:16,745 --> 00:13:20,311 standing by each other's side through thick and thin, 282 00:13:20,326 --> 00:13:22,621 never wavering. 283 00:13:23,185 --> 00:13:26,051 - What was that? - What was what? 284 00:13:26,065 --> 00:13:28,042 That little look. What was that? 285 00:13:28,718 --> 00:13:30,791 A look of love. 286 00:13:31,256 --> 00:13:34,910 You two have stood together through thick and thin, right? 287 00:13:34,928 --> 00:13:37,601 - You know, what's thick, what's thin? - Yeah, I mean, all... yeah. 288 00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:38,792 I have. 289 00:13:39,276 --> 00:13:41,252 All right, what was that look? 290 00:13:42,237 --> 00:13:43,631 What's going on? 291 00:13:43,645 --> 00:13:45,403 They broke up over the summer. 292 00:13:45,415 --> 00:13:49,063 Lily totally ran off to San Francisco and these two just had sex in the closet. 293 00:13:50,135 --> 00:13:52,323 What? We're under oath. 294 00:13:52,335 --> 00:13:53,711 No, we're not. 295 00:13:53,728 --> 00:13:57,360 Yeah, we are. He's a judge. 296 00:13:57,517 --> 00:13:58,980 Wh-- did we take an oath? 297 00:13:58,997 --> 00:14:00,943 Do you even know what an oath is? 298 00:14:00,957 --> 00:14:04,031 Uh, yeah. Courthouse. 299 00:14:04,045 --> 00:14:06,222 Oath. We're under it. 300 00:14:10,598 --> 00:14:13,943 Guys. It's looking like this isn't gonna happen. 301 00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:16,502 No, Marshall, we are gonna get married today. 302 00:14:16,517 --> 00:14:19,673 Baby, anyplace we go, we're gonna need a marriage license. 303 00:14:19,686 --> 00:14:22,301 Except international waters. 304 00:14:22,318 --> 00:14:24,672 So-so let's find a ship captain. 305 00:14:24,686 --> 00:14:26,452 A ship captain can marry us. 306 00:14:26,465 --> 00:14:28,583 There's boats all over this place. 307 00:14:28,596 --> 00:14:31,472 Oh, is that what those wooden things are floating between the garbage? 308 00:14:31,488 --> 00:14:35,650 This is a great idea. This is gonna work. Let's go. 309 00:14:36,717 --> 00:14:39,282 Excuse me. Are you a ship captain? 310 00:14:39,297 --> 00:14:41,411 This is my machine. 311 00:14:43,477 --> 00:14:45,843 - I should go talk to her. - No, let me. 312 00:14:48,635 --> 00:14:50,203 - Blackjack? - Yeah. 313 00:14:52,457 --> 00:14:56,692 Well, I found a guy who said he'd be willing to put his boat in my slip, 314 00:14:56,706 --> 00:14:58,542 so we're getting closer. 315 00:14:58,555 --> 00:15:02,620 Okay, Lil, why is it so important to do this today? 316 00:15:02,638 --> 00:15:05,772 Because... if we don't do it today, 317 00:15:05,798 --> 00:15:08,510 I just know we're gonna wind up having a huge wedding 318 00:15:08,528 --> 00:15:12,081 with a huge crowd full of huge Midwestern people 319 00:15:12,095 --> 00:15:14,230 looking all disapproving and judging me 320 00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,201 while sipping little cups of mayonnaise 321 00:15:16,215 --> 00:15:19,143 and-and cracking runaway bride jokes all night long. 322 00:15:19,156 --> 00:15:20,841 - Nobody's gonna do that. - No, they're not 323 00:15:20,857 --> 00:15:22,543 because I'm not gonna give them the chance. 324 00:15:22,577 --> 00:15:25,580 I'm gonna find a ship captain and we're gonna be married tonight. 325 00:15:25,598 --> 00:15:27,270 Sweetie, this is crazy. 326 00:15:27,285 --> 00:15:28,580 You're never gonna find a ship capt... 327 00:15:28,617 --> 00:15:30,811 Hey, Lily. Found a ship captain. 328 00:15:30,825 --> 00:15:32,323 - What? - Yeah. 329 00:15:32,338 --> 00:15:34,730 First guy we talked to. Ship captain. 330 00:15:34,745 --> 00:15:36,202 How great is that? 331 00:15:36,216 --> 00:15:39,080 See? See, this is destiny. 332 00:15:39,096 --> 00:15:42,881 So, captain, can you take us out to international waters and marry us? 333 00:15:42,898 --> 00:15:43,922 I sure can. 334 00:15:43,936 --> 00:15:47,611 If there's two things I love, it's bringing people together in marriage 335 00:15:47,638 --> 00:15:49,860 - and making $5,000. - What? 336 00:15:49,877 --> 00:15:53,231 Deal. $5,000, okay, we can do that. Come on, everybody. 337 00:15:53,248 --> 00:15:56,141 Fork over your cash. Don't think. Just do it. 338 00:15:56,158 --> 00:15:57,612 I can get us that money. 339 00:15:57,637 --> 00:15:58,733 How? 340 00:15:58,748 --> 00:16:00,440 Have you noticed that all day today 341 00:16:00,467 --> 00:16:03,361 Chinese guys have been coming up and saying hi to me? 342 00:16:03,376 --> 00:16:05,673 Yes. Have you noticed I haven't asked about it 343 00:16:05,686 --> 00:16:07,682 because I'm too scared of the answer? 344 00:16:07,796 --> 00:16:10,112 Well, those are my old gambling buddies. 345 00:16:10,127 --> 00:16:12,701 Truth is... I used to come here all the time. 346 00:16:12,726 --> 00:16:16,550 Play an old Chinese game called "Shing Hasabu Shing". 347 00:16:16,566 --> 00:16:18,653 Had a small gambling problem. 348 00:16:18,807 --> 00:16:20,681 Actually, it wasn't so small. I... 349 00:16:20,697 --> 00:16:23,832 kind of lost my entire life's savings. 350 00:16:23,848 --> 00:16:26,483 But tonight, I don't know, I'm feeling hot. 351 00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,881 I think I can win us that money. 352 00:16:28,907 --> 00:16:31,832 No, we're not letting you gamble all our money away. 353 00:16:31,856 --> 00:16:35,893 Uh, it's not gambling if you absolutely know you're going to win. 354 00:16:36,018 --> 00:16:37,940 I'll get us that money. 355 00:16:38,456 --> 00:16:40,972 I swear it, nay... 356 00:16:40,986 --> 00:16:43,191 I oath it. 357 00:16:43,346 --> 00:16:46,673 Now, I had been to a lot of casinos before that night, 358 00:16:46,687 --> 00:16:49,100 and I've been to a lot of casinos since, 359 00:16:49,115 --> 00:16:52,813 but in all that time I've never seen a game quite like this one. 360 00:16:52,828 --> 00:16:55,420 To this day, I have no idea how it was played. 361 00:16:55,438 --> 00:16:57,503 But luckily, Barney did. 362 00:16:59,146 --> 00:17:00,442 Do you understand what's happening? 363 00:17:00,476 --> 00:17:02,221 Not a clue. 364 00:17:22,167 --> 00:17:23,731 Do you think he's winning? 365 00:17:23,745 --> 00:17:25,751 I don't even know if he's playing. 366 00:17:32,217 --> 00:17:34,221 Wait, I get it. I understand this game. 367 00:17:34,236 --> 00:17:34,961 No, you don't. 368 00:17:34,975 --> 00:17:37,281 I totally understand the game, Theodore. 369 00:17:37,295 --> 00:17:40,703 Barney, split your tiles. You can triple your money if you find the jellybean. 370 00:17:40,717 --> 00:17:43,890 Marshall, please. Don't you think I know what I'm... 371 00:17:44,835 --> 00:17:47,322 My God, you're right. 372 00:18:26,055 --> 00:18:29,102 Wow. It's beautiful. 373 00:18:29,265 --> 00:18:30,521 Thanks, Barney. 374 00:18:30,538 --> 00:18:32,170 Did you guys see me? I was on fire tonight. 375 00:18:32,206 --> 00:18:33,611 Man, I can't wait to get back to the shore. 376 00:18:33,648 --> 00:18:35,411 God, I love gambling! 377 00:18:35,438 --> 00:18:38,351 When we get home, we're gonna go to a little meeting. Okay? 378 00:18:38,365 --> 00:18:40,462 Why can't I do it just a little? 379 00:18:42,645 --> 00:18:43,882 Okay. 380 00:18:44,477 --> 00:18:46,720 Let's get this started. 381 00:18:48,188 --> 00:18:50,161 Okay, uh... 382 00:18:50,306 --> 00:18:52,891 you guys want the serious one or the funny one? 383 00:18:52,906 --> 00:18:56,122 Oh, I think... serious would be best. 384 00:18:56,148 --> 00:18:59,940 You sure? I got a lot of great nautical jokes in there. 385 00:18:59,966 --> 00:19:03,150 Like how you two float each other's boat, stuff like that. 386 00:19:03,168 --> 00:19:05,232 Yeah, serious is probably good. 387 00:19:09,328 --> 00:19:12,332 "We stand witness today 388 00:19:12,348 --> 00:19:16,982 "to celebrate the union of Lily and Marshall. 389 00:19:17,047 --> 00:19:19,693 "Today, you two will become one, 390 00:19:19,705 --> 00:19:21,751 "sharing your lives, 391 00:19:21,767 --> 00:19:24,001 "the happiness, the sadness, 392 00:19:24,018 --> 00:19:26,311 "the frustrations and the joy..." 393 00:19:26,377 --> 00:19:28,171 This is pretty cool. 394 00:19:28,187 --> 00:19:30,603 I can't believe you never want to get married. 395 00:19:30,645 --> 00:19:32,792 I never said "never." 396 00:19:32,916 --> 00:19:34,800 "...to declare your love 397 00:19:34,818 --> 00:19:36,533 "and devotion to each other 398 00:19:36,555 --> 00:19:39,842 "in front of friends and family, 399 00:19:39,858 --> 00:19:42,932 "all the people who matter most to you." 400 00:19:43,076 --> 00:19:44,652 What was that? 401 00:19:44,865 --> 00:19:46,491 What was what? 402 00:19:47,367 --> 00:19:50,331 That little look. You two just shared a look. 403 00:19:54,415 --> 00:19:57,131 - We don't want to do this. - We don't. 404 00:19:57,145 --> 00:19:59,223 Are you kidding me? 405 00:19:59,236 --> 00:20:01,603 You guys are calling off another wedding? 406 00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:05,241 After I spent all this money on a bridesmaid shirt? 407 00:20:05,376 --> 00:20:08,442 Did I bet someone that they'd call it off? I did, didn't I? Who'd I bet? 408 00:20:08,818 --> 00:20:11,712 You actually expect any of us are gonna come to your third wedding? 409 00:20:11,728 --> 00:20:13,000 Yes. 410 00:20:13,016 --> 00:20:15,522 'Cause it's gonna be amazing. 411 00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:19,370 Look, before I was afraid to face Marshall's family 412 00:20:19,386 --> 00:20:22,342 and-and I didn't want to do all that work, but... 413 00:20:22,355 --> 00:20:24,303 now that we're here... 414 00:20:24,347 --> 00:20:27,503 I realize that I have to face Marshall's family 415 00:20:27,528 --> 00:20:30,820 and I really want to do all that work. 416 00:20:30,835 --> 00:20:32,201 So do I. 417 00:20:32,217 --> 00:20:36,123 And yeah... my family might still be upset with you. 418 00:20:36,135 --> 00:20:38,742 But when they see us up there, they're gonn 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net