1 00:00:01,335 --> 00:00:03,259 This is awesome. 2 00:00:03,363 --> 00:00:05,782 I can't believe this moment's finally here. 3 00:00:05,812 --> 00:00:09,327 One more mile and my little boy turns 200,000. 4 00:00:09,357 --> 00:00:12,718 Your baby Fiero's grown into a really old man Fiero. 5 00:00:12,748 --> 00:00:14,255 And just like an old man, 6 00:00:14,285 --> 00:00:16,158 he leaks fluid, smells stale, 7 00:00:16,188 --> 00:00:17,801 makes weird noises out the back. 8 00:00:17,831 --> 00:00:18,970 Yeah, he does. 9 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:21,177 Hey, light up those cigars in the glove compartment. 10 00:00:21,495 --> 00:00:23,980 They're real Cubans. I got 'em in Chinatown last year 11 00:00:24,014 --> 00:00:25,200 just for this moment. 12 00:00:25,501 --> 00:00:28,173 Uh, Marshall, I'm not saying you were definitely ripped off, 13 00:00:28,209 --> 00:00:31,569 but these are chopsticks wrapped in napkins. 14 00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,133 - What are you talking about? - Whoa, pothole. 15 00:00:33,166 --> 00:00:35,621 What? No. Oh. No. 16 00:00:35,658 --> 00:00:37,161 No, no, no. 17 00:00:37,197 --> 00:00:39,770 No, there's only .8 miles to go. Come on, buddy. 18 00:00:39,808 --> 00:00:40,960 Buddy! 19 00:00:46,925 --> 00:00:48,613 Is it cool if I still light these? 20 00:00:50,466 --> 00:00:53,523 Transcript : Raceman Subtitles : Willow's Team 21 00:00:53,638 --> 00:00:56,950 www.forom.com 22 00:01:04,366 --> 00:01:08,321 Kids, sometimes life forces us to be someone we didn't want to be. 23 00:01:08,405 --> 00:01:12,211 When that happens, we often try to hold on to a little piece of who we were. 24 00:01:12,575 --> 00:01:13,962 Maybe a tattoo. 25 00:01:14,595 --> 00:01:16,263 Or a piece of jewelry. 26 00:01:16,388 --> 00:01:19,701 A tiny souvenir that reminds us, "This is who I really am." 27 00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:22,561 Marshall's souvenir was not so tiny, 28 00:01:22,787 --> 00:01:25,513 but the more he found himself being pushed toward the corporate world 29 00:01:25,548 --> 00:01:28,041 and away from his dream of saving the environment, 30 00:01:28,075 --> 00:01:30,580 the tighter he held on to that Fiero. 31 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:31,753 Hey. 32 00:01:32,187 --> 00:01:34,921 One good thing: we're off the hook for the folding party today. 33 00:01:34,955 --> 00:01:38,401 Hey. It's very important to both Lily and me 34 00:01:38,436 --> 00:01:42,071 that there be a handmade origami crane in each of our wedding's... 35 00:01:42,965 --> 00:01:45,042 I couldn't even get through it. Thank God. 36 00:01:45,128 --> 00:01:46,931 Hey, your car's going to be fine. 37 00:01:46,967 --> 00:01:48,961 This is the best auto shop around. 38 00:01:48,996 --> 00:01:50,653 Look at this certificate. 39 00:01:50,685 --> 00:01:52,501 One of the mechanics here 40 00:01:52,975 --> 00:01:55,152 finished a 64-ounce steak. 41 00:01:56,125 --> 00:01:57,202 Surprise. 42 00:01:57,236 --> 00:01:58,951 We felt bad that you guys were missing 43 00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:01,751 the super-fun origami folding party, so... 44 00:02:01,787 --> 00:02:03,261 we suggested moving it here. 45 00:02:03,298 --> 00:02:04,803 We insisted. 46 00:02:04,968 --> 00:02:06,343 Terrific. 47 00:02:06,815 --> 00:02:08,163 How's the Fiero? 48 00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,080 She's still in triage. 49 00:02:10,116 --> 00:02:12,502 She? I thought it was your little boy. 50 00:02:12,536 --> 00:02:15,833 Oh, it goes back and forth. It's sort of a tranny car. 51 00:02:15,868 --> 00:02:19,310 How long have you had her... slash him? 52 00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:22,341 My brothers handed it down to me when I was 16. 53 00:02:22,377 --> 00:02:23,831 Oh, how nice of them. 54 00:02:23,868 --> 00:02:25,322 Not really. 55 00:02:26,016 --> 00:02:27,281 Congratulations. 56 00:02:27,316 --> 00:02:29,083 The Fiero is yours. 57 00:02:31,137 --> 00:02:33,810 If you pass the final test. 58 00:02:33,846 --> 00:02:35,190 Come on! 59 00:02:35,227 --> 00:02:38,741 I already shaved my legs and swallowed five dollars in quarters. 60 00:02:38,777 --> 00:02:40,761 Only $4.50 has come out. 61 00:02:41,687 --> 00:02:43,961 Just go to the Weinerburger drive-thru 62 00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,853 and get us 12 cups of coffee. 63 00:02:46,448 --> 00:02:48,221 - That's it? - Oh, yeah. 64 00:02:48,258 --> 00:02:50,223 But we get to decide what you wear. 65 00:02:51,097 --> 00:02:54,621 Agreed. Totally agreed. 66 00:02:59,115 --> 00:03:00,570 You're naked. 67 00:03:00,606 --> 00:03:02,322 I'm aware of that. 68 00:03:06,155 --> 00:03:07,753 You have 50 cents? 69 00:03:09,225 --> 00:03:10,451 No... 70 00:03:11,696 --> 00:03:13,761 Look, can I just have my coffee, please? 71 00:03:14,035 --> 00:03:16,252 Sorry, we're all out of trays and lids. 72 00:03:16,285 --> 00:03:19,661 Two tall guys just came through here a few minutes ago and bought 'em all. 73 00:03:37,035 --> 00:03:39,630 And that is the origin of Marshall's insane 74 00:03:39,666 --> 00:03:42,392 "no food or drinks in the Fiero, not even groceries" rule. 75 00:03:42,427 --> 00:03:44,071 It is not insane. 76 00:03:44,137 --> 00:03:48,062 Barney. That's like the third one in a row that you've screwed up. 77 00:03:48,095 --> 00:03:49,972 Well, I'm trying, but it's... 78 00:03:50,007 --> 00:03:53,441 Look. You fold twice to the middle, fold back and forth, pull the ends out, 79 00:03:53,478 --> 00:03:57,443 flip over, open the flaps, fold the edges, crease the front, fold in half, 80 00:03:57,476 --> 00:04:00,470 fold the wings down, push in the bottom corners, and fold the wings back out. 81 00:04:00,507 --> 00:04:03,732 Or would you like one of my kindergartners to show you? 82 00:04:04,396 --> 00:04:06,703 Wait, wait, wait. Wait, I think I've got it. 83 00:04:08,297 --> 00:04:09,352 No. 84 00:04:09,786 --> 00:04:12,632 Forget it; the paper's too expensive. You're out. 85 00:04:12,668 --> 00:04:14,352 Aw, nerts. 86 00:04:17,306 --> 00:04:20,393 The food rule is insane. We could have died because of it. 87 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:23,443 - Remember the 100K fiasco? - Ah, the Fiero-asco. 88 00:04:23,478 --> 00:04:26,953 Dude, I told you that doesn't work. It's the 100K fiasco. 89 00:04:26,985 --> 00:04:29,491 - What's the 100K fiasco? - The Fiero-asco? 90 00:04:29,955 --> 00:04:32,312 It was just before winter break our freshman year of college. 91 00:04:32,345 --> 00:04:34,832 Marshall and I were roommates, but we weren't really good friends yet. 92 00:04:34,866 --> 00:04:37,363 I thought Ted was a little bit pretentious. 93 00:04:37,397 --> 00:04:39,881 And Marshall was a total slob. 94 00:04:40,836 --> 00:04:41,823 Hey. 95 00:04:42,955 --> 00:04:45,441 I'm driving my Fiero back over break. 96 00:04:45,475 --> 00:04:47,563 I know we see enough of each other as it is, 97 00:04:47,595 --> 00:04:50,251 but if you want a ride, I could use the gas money. 98 00:04:50,286 --> 00:04:53,271 You live in Ohio, right? I could swing through and pick you up. 99 00:04:53,606 --> 00:04:56,773 All right, first of all, my parents live in Ohio. 100 00:04:56,807 --> 00:04:58,901 I live in the moment. 101 00:04:59,468 --> 00:05:02,382 Plus, Karen and I haven't seen each other since Thanksgiving. 102 00:05:02,416 --> 00:05:06,460 We're both really invested in making this long-distance thing work, so... 103 00:05:06,716 --> 00:05:08,701 All right, well, call me if you change your mind. 104 00:05:08,738 --> 00:05:10,793 My odometer's going to hit 100K. 105 00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,863 She'd be so bummed if I left early. 106 00:05:15,578 --> 00:05:17,493 It was totally mutual. 107 00:05:18,097 --> 00:05:20,693 I mean, Karen brought it up first, but I... 108 00:05:20,726 --> 00:05:23,261 it was... it was totally mutual. 109 00:05:23,887 --> 00:05:25,152 I hear you. 110 00:05:25,598 --> 00:05:28,070 So what's up with you and Lily? Anything serious? 111 00:05:28,378 --> 00:05:29,420 Yeah. 112 00:05:29,455 --> 00:05:31,121 Dude, we're college freshmen. 113 00:05:31,157 --> 00:05:33,830 I'm not going to get tied down by the first chick I hook up with. 114 00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:37,851 Lily's cool, but this bird you'll never chain, you know? 115 00:05:37,937 --> 00:05:41,621 The next few hours of our drive were classic road trip. 116 00:05:51,567 --> 00:05:54,502 So... this song. 117 00:05:54,538 --> 00:05:56,471 Oh, it's the best song in the world. 118 00:05:56,508 --> 00:05:58,401 It's the only song I like. 119 00:05:59,285 --> 00:06:00,603 Just kidding. 120 00:06:00,705 --> 00:06:03,333 Tape's been stuck in the player for, like, two years. 121 00:06:03,367 --> 00:06:04,971 Better than nothing, though. 122 00:06:05,786 --> 00:06:07,021 Maybe. 123 00:06:16,225 --> 00:06:21,090 I am so... sick... of this song. 124 00:06:21,385 --> 00:06:23,011 Don't worry. It comes around again. 125 00:06:23,395 --> 00:06:24,652 What do you mean? 126 00:06:24,687 --> 00:06:28,983 # Just to be the man who walks 1,000 miles # 127 00:06:29,016 --> 00:06:34,611 # And falls down at your door... # 128 00:06:36,155 --> 00:06:37,791 Yeah, we totally nailed the ending. 129 00:06:37,828 --> 00:06:39,460 That was probably our best one. 130 00:06:39,757 --> 00:06:41,631 Hey, you want to play Zitch Dog? 131 00:06:41,708 --> 00:06:43,261 - What? - Uh, it's a car game. 132 00:06:43,297 --> 00:06:46,682 Every time you see a dog, you got to be the first one to say, "Zitch dog." 133 00:06:46,766 --> 00:06:48,380 - I'm pretty good, so... - Zitch dog. 134 00:06:48,916 --> 00:06:51,982 Well, no, I didn't know we had... we'd started, but... 135 00:06:52,015 --> 00:06:54,143 Okay, that's cool. You got the first point. 136 00:06:55,376 --> 00:06:57,440 - Zitch dog. - Zitch dog. Damn it! 137 00:06:58,495 --> 00:07:00,872 Are we still playing? 'Cause I wasn't... I wasn't really... 138 00:07:00,905 --> 00:07:02,041 12-nothing. 139 00:07:03,508 --> 00:07:04,673 Marshall. 140 00:07:08,518 --> 00:07:10,943 - Marshall. - Zitch dog, blue Suburban. 141 00:07:10,976 --> 00:07:12,013 Damn it! 142 00:07:12,046 --> 00:07:13,560 18-nothing. 143 00:07:14,708 --> 00:07:17,080 Then Marshall, who was so busy cheating at Zitch Dog, 144 00:07:17,114 --> 00:07:18,500 got us totally lost. 145 00:07:18,531 --> 00:07:19,983 Where the hell are we?! 146 00:07:20,019 --> 00:07:22,789 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. 147 00:07:22,819 --> 00:07:24,431 I think you skipped something. 148 00:07:24,465 --> 00:07:27,062 Really? Seems impossible. 149 00:07:28,917 --> 00:07:30,342 Hey, we got some time. 150 00:07:30,825 --> 00:07:34,562 What do you say we get off the highway, take the road less traveled, you know? 151 00:07:35,078 --> 00:07:36,460 Robert Frost. 152 00:07:37,507 --> 00:07:39,311 Doesn't seem like a smart idea. 153 00:07:39,346 --> 00:07:40,381 Too late. 154 00:07:40,415 --> 00:07:42,101 I'm taking this exit. 155 00:07:42,477 --> 00:07:45,450 Who's not fun enough now, Karen? 156 00:07:47,776 --> 00:07:49,292 Then we got lost. 157 00:07:49,328 --> 00:07:51,030 Where the hell are we?! 158 00:07:51,337 --> 00:07:53,510 - I'm pulling over. - No, keep driving. 159 00:07:53,546 --> 00:07:56,300 We're almost out of gas, and we might not even be on a road anymore. 160 00:07:56,337 --> 00:07:59,643 It's below zero out. If we pull over, we could be snowed in for days. 161 00:07:59,675 --> 00:08:02,503 Plus, I only have, like, six granola bars and three bottles of water. 162 00:08:02,535 --> 00:08:04,093 - Nah, I threw them out. - What?! 163 00:08:04,126 --> 00:08:07,543 No food or drink in the Fiero. 164 00:08:08,577 --> 00:08:12,073 No food or drink in the F...? You haven't washed your sheets since... 165 00:08:12,105 --> 00:08:14,920 Thus began the longest night of our lives. 166 00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:22,371 Pretty sure that my foot is frozen solid. 167 00:08:23,026 --> 00:08:24,142 Marshall... 168 00:08:25,258 --> 00:08:28,600 there's a very real chance that we're gonna be snowed in here for days. 169 00:08:29,388 --> 00:08:32,520 If I die first, do whatever you need to survive. 170 00:08:32,558 --> 00:08:33,730 Eat my flesh. 171 00:08:33,768 --> 00:08:36,293 Slice me open like a tauntaun, whatever. 172 00:08:36,927 --> 00:08:38,463 Thanks, Ted. 173 00:08:39,026 --> 00:08:40,732 You're a good friend. 174 00:08:41,556 --> 00:08:45,232 And if I die first, you just leave my body alone. 175 00:08:45,266 --> 00:08:46,223 What? 176 00:08:46,256 --> 00:08:48,442 I just said you could cut me open and crawl inside me. 177 00:08:48,478 --> 00:08:51,012 Yeah, don't do any of that stuff to me; it skeeves me out. 178 00:08:51,048 --> 00:08:54,110 But... but you're dead, and I'm gonna die if I don't. 179 00:08:54,147 --> 00:08:56,142 Wasn't an easy decision. 180 00:08:57,076 --> 00:09:00,091 This is all because of your insane no-food rule. 181 00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:02,593 It's perfectly rational. 182 00:09:07,008 --> 00:09:09,383 Hey! My spectacles! 183 00:09:14,757 --> 00:09:15,592 Hey. 184 00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,913 I know we're low on gas, 185 00:09:19,636 --> 00:09:22,850 but can we turn on the heat for just a minute? 186 00:09:24,346 --> 00:09:25,673 Okay. 187 00:09:35,866 --> 00:09:36,962 D ude... 188 00:09:37,768 --> 00:09:39,572 I hate to say this... 189 00:09:40,836 --> 00:09:42,743 but it's so cold... 190 00:09:43,365 --> 00:09:46,703 there's only one way that we're gonna make it through this night. 191 00:09:52,737 --> 00:09:55,503 - We should've kept driving. - Come on, Marshall. 192 00:09:55,536 --> 00:09:58,743 No. No. We might die now. 193 00:09:59,318 --> 00:10:01,500 I may never see Lily again. 194 00:10:02,327 --> 00:10:04,633 I never told anybody this, but... 195 00:10:05,256 --> 00:10:08,361 I've known for a long time that I'm gonna marry that girl. 196 00:10:09,045 --> 00:10:12,292 If we survive this, someday I'm gonna marry her. 197 00:10:14,546 --> 00:10:16,883 I'm sorry about your spectacles. 198 00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:18,840 That's okay. 199 00:10:19,748 --> 00:10:21,412 They were decorative. 200 00:10:27,218 --> 00:10:28,562 Hey, Marshall. 201 00:10:28,737 --> 00:10:29,983 Y eah? 202 00:10:30,987 --> 00:10:33,273 Are you still thinking about Lily? 203 00:10:33,606 --> 00:10:34,962 Yeah. 204 00:10:35,396 --> 00:10:37,122 Please stop. 205 00:10:40,605 --> 00:10:44,092 And so Marshall and I thought we were gonna die out there in the middle of nowhere. 206 00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:46,321 But funny thing... 207 00:10:54,378 --> 00:10:58,640 Hey. You lovers better just keep on driving. 208 00:11:00,547 --> 00:11:02,533 - Zitch dog! - Damn it! 209 00:11:04,338 --> 00:11:07,233 You said you were gonna marry me that long ago? 210 00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:09,083 That is so sweet. 211 00:11:09,117 --> 00:11:11,782 That trip is when Marshall and I became best friends. 212 00:11:11,887 --> 00:11:14,361 With privileges, from the sound of it. 213 00:11:15,858 --> 00:11:17,260 E riksen. 214 00:11:38,327 --> 00:11:39,323 Wow. 215 00:11:39,668 --> 00:11:41,750 Looks like he really needs a hug. 216 00:11:43,148 --> 00:11:44,332 Ted. 217 00:11:51,608 --> 00:11:55,521 He said it would be at least 3,000 bucks to make it run again. 218 00:11:55,616 --> 00:11:58,123 And even then, there's no guarantee. 219 00:11:58,258 --> 00:11:59,831 Well, it's a pretty old car. 220 00:11:59,867 --> 00:12:02,462 Yeah. You can keep prolonging its life, 221 00:12:02,496 --> 00:12:05,692 but it's really mostly machine at this point. 222 00:12:07,405 --> 00:12:09,261 I know that it's a lot of money, 223 00:12:09,416 --> 00:12:11,753 but it's my Fiero, you know? 224 00:12:12,025 --> 00:12:15,593 I'm about to graduate and take some sellout corporate law job, 225 00:12:15,628 --> 00:12:18,302 and without that Fiero, I'm just another guy in a suit. 226 00:12:18,336 --> 00:12:19,922 - How dare you... - Hey. 227 00:12:20,965 --> 00:12:23,462 I've been through so much in that car. 228 00:12:24,057 --> 00:12:26,053 The suicidal cat. 229 00:12:28,876 --> 00:12:30,571 Hitchhiking Waldo. 230 00:12:34,516 --> 00:12:36,863 The homeless guy who broke in through the window 231 00:12:36,896 --> 00:12:39,322 and threw up all over the backseat. 232 00:12:39,357 --> 00:12:40,472 Lily, don't. 233 00:12:40,505 --> 00:12:42,682 Be strong. Do not go all "prisoner's dilemma" on me. 234 00:12:42,716 --> 00:12:45,573 The car's on its deathbed, Robin. I have to clear my conscience. 235 00:12:45,606 --> 00:12:47,040 Guys, what are you talking about? 236 00:12:47,955 --> 00:12:51,151 Okay. Shortly after we met Robin, 237 00:12:51,186 --> 00:12:54,290 she and I were jonesing for Thai food from this one place. 238 00:12:54,328 --> 00:12:57,231 An hour and a half delivery. We can't wait that long. 239 00:12:57,268 --> 00:13:01,653 I wish we could take the Fiero, but Marshall has this insane no-food rule. 240 00:13:01,688 --> 00:13:03,320 But Thai food, Lily. 241 00:13:03,358 --> 00:13:05,000 Pad Yum Mao. 242 00:13:05,037 --> 00:13:06,820 Tom Kai Gah. 243 00:13:06,858 --> 00:13:08,503 Thai See Ran. 244 00:13:08,535 --> 00:13:12,343 Oh! You're just saying random syllables, and it still sounds delicious. 245 00:13:12,406 --> 00:13:14,561 Okay. Here's what we'll do. 246 00:13:14,598 --> 00:13:18,141 We'll drive over, pick it up, have them double-bag it, 247 00:13:18,176 --> 00:13:21,950 very carefully drive it back here with the windows open, 248 00:13:21,985 --> 00:13:23,700 and he'll never know. 249 00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:26,211 Wow, these brakes are really sensitive. 250 00:13:26,378 --> 00:13:28,622 Oh, Marshall is gonna kill me! 251 00:13:28,656 --> 00:13:31,992 This and the difference between "affect" and "effect" are the only two things 252 00:13:32,026 --> 00:13:33,651 he's really serious about. 253 00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,521 - Lily, it's gonna be fine. - No, it's not. 254 00:13:35,556 --> 00:13:38,103 Marshall's gonna freak. Oh, God, oh, God. What are we gonna do? 255 00:13:38,137 --> 00:13:39,362 - Oh, God, oh...! - Shut up! 256 00:13:39,395 --> 00:13:41,541 Now, listen to me. The clock is ticking. 257 00:13:41,576 --> 00:13:45,143 Okay, first thing, we scoop up all these little pieces of tofu and cabbage. 258 00:13:45,177 --> 00:13:47,552 Next, what we need to take care of are the really messy parts-- 259 00:13:47,585 --> 00:13:50,260 the pools that have collected. We got to soak that soup up. 260 00:13:50,297 --> 00:13:53,143 Last is the smell. We got to cover up that Tom Kah Gai. 261 00:13:53,175 --> 00:13:54,382 You mentioned cigars. 262 00:13:54,415 --> 00:13:56,611 There's two in the glove compartment, but he's been saving them. 263 00:13:56,645 --> 00:13:58,201 Hand me those chopsticks. 264 00:14:02,836 --> 00:14:04,461 Hey, how about some tunes? 265 00:14:06,575 --> 00:14:08,932 Oh, great song. 266 00:14:11,397 --> 00:14:13,612 These cigars aren't helping at all. 267 00:14:13,646 --> 00:14:16,071 Yeah. This was a terrible idea. 268 00:14:17,627 --> 00:14:21,793 Now it just smells like a homeless guy threw up in here. 269 00:14:24,196 --> 00:14:25,821 The broken windows? 270 00:14:25,868 --> 00:14:27,422 We had to make it look realistic. 271 00:14:27,457 --> 00:14:29,413 Why did you break two of them? 272 00:14:29,447 --> 00:14:33,032 It looked like fun when she did it. So I wanted to try. 273 00:14:34,085 --> 00:14:36,150 Can't believe this whole time it was you guys. 274 00:14:36,185 --> 00:14:38,801 I've been blaming really tanned dancing leotard guy. 275 00:14:38,835 --> 00:14:42,312 Marshall, I'm so sorry, but sharing that secret-- 276 00:14:42,346 --> 00:14:45,092 that's when Robin and I became best friends. 277 00:14:45,125 --> 00:14:47,802 Wow. What a special car. 278 00:14:47,836 --> 00:14:50,033 So, can I crush it into a little cube yet? 279 00:14:50,068 --> 00:14:52,180 I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. 280 00:14:52,275 --> 00:14:53,540 Come on, Marshall. 281 00:14:53,576 --> 00:14:55,112 This is your Fiero. 282 00:14:55,146 --> 00:14:57,141 You know the right thing to do here. 283 00:14:57,176 --> 00:14:59,822 Wow, Barney, why do you love that car so much? 284 00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,301 Love it? 285 00:15:01,657 --> 00:15:03,152 Hold on a second. 286 00:15:03,976 --> 00:15:05,413 Love it? 287 00:15:05,478 --> 00:15:07,451 I hate it! 288 00:15:08,006 --> 00:15:09,741 What? Why? 289 00:15:09,885 --> 00:15:12,620 Why? Why? 290 00:15:13,046 --> 00:15:14,573 Why?! 291 00:15:16,227 --> 00:15:18,191 - Why?! - Let me tell it. 292 00:15:18,228 --> 00:15:21,051 It was last year during the transit strike. 293 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:22,701 - Hey. - Hey. 294 00:15:22,736 --> 00:15:24,021 Uh, is Marshall around? 295 00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:26,783 I have a massage in Queens in half an hour. I need a ride. 296 00:15:26,816 --> 00:15:29,320 Uh, no, he's at the library all day. Just take the keys. 297 00:15:30,817 --> 00:15:33,053 Hey! Why don't you drive me? 298 00:15:33,085 --> 00:15:34,762 It'll be like a total road trip. 299 00:15:34,797 --> 00:15:36,030 To Queens? 300 00:15:36,067 --> 00:15:39,482 Yeah, we'll get, we'll get beef jerky, Triscuits. 301 00:15:39,516 --> 00:15:42,051 Uh, actually I have a lot of work to do, so. 302 00:15:42,085 --> 00:15:45,113 Okay. Well, anyway, I'll cancel. 303 00:15:45,147 --> 00:15:46,821 - See you later. - Wait! 304 00:15:48,945 --> 00:15:50,452 You know how to drive, right? 305 00:15:50,488 --> 00:15:54,092 What, of course I know how to drive. I love driving. 306 00:15:54,498 --> 00:15:55,981 Hitting the road. 307 00:15:56,347 --> 00:15:58,251 Cruising the lanes. 308 00:15:58,946 --> 00:16:00,232 And braking. 309 00:16:00,335 --> 00:16:02,190 Honking. Love it. 310 00:16:02,818 --> 00:16:04,741 Except for lady drivers. 311 00:16:04,937 --> 00:16:07,571 Don't get me started on lady drivers. 312 00:16:07,608 --> 00:16:09,490 - Which pedal's the gas? - Trick question. 313 00:16:09,528 --> 00:16:10,410 - No, it's not. - Yes, it is. 314 00:16:10,448 --> 00:16:12,642 - No, it's not. - Middle, left, right? 315 00:16:14,186 --> 00:16:16,222 I never learned how to drive! 316 00:16:16,258 --> 00:16:18,640 I grew up in the city. I never had a chance. 317 00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:19,692 Well, guess what? 318 00:16:19,728 --> 00:16:21,991 You're getting your chance. Because I'm going to teach you. 319 00:16:22,027 --> 00:16:24,701 Barney Stinson, buckle up. 320 00:16:27,275 --> 00:16:28,621 This isn't right. 321 00:16:28,656 --> 00:16:31,593 God never meant for us to travel at such breakneck speeds. 322 00:16:31,727 --> 00:16:34,241 Relax. You're doing great. 323 00:16:34,386 --> 00:16:37,200 Ignore the old lady on the rascal; this isn't a race. 324 00:16:38,907 --> 00:16:40,530 Dude, a dog. 325 00:16:40,566 --> 00:16:42,682 Zitch dogs, this. Or nothing. 326 00:16:43,267 --> 00:16:45,062 What do I do? Tell me what to do, Ted. 327 00:16:45,095 --> 00:16:47,961 Step on the brakes. Sometime in the next 20 minutes. 328 00:16:47,996 --> 00:16:49,641 Which? Which one's the break again? 329 00:16:49,677 --> 00:16:51,723 - The left one. - Left. Oh, man, left. 330 00:16:51,755 --> 00:16:53,601 - I'm totally blanking. - Make the Ls. 331 00:16:53,638 --> 00:16:55,412 Oh, we're not going to make it. 332 00:16:56,948 --> 00:16:58,791 Why did you just turn on the radio? 333 00:16:58,828 --> 00:17:00,263 I don't know why I turned on the radio! 334 00:17:00,296 --> 00:17:02,140 We're going to die. Tell me what to do, Ted. 335 00:17:02,176 --> 00:17:03,540 Relax. You're being crazy. 336 00:17:03,577 --> 00:17:05,812 - Help me, Ted! I'm being serious. - Stop, drop and roll. 337 00:17:09,005 --> 00:17:12,560 Screaming is fun! Screaming is fun! 338 00:17:22,245 --> 00:17:23,423 I can't move. 339 00:17:23,535 --> 00:17:26,322 I can't... I can't feel my... 340 00:17:26,866 --> 00:17:28,023 Wait. 341 00:17:29,198 --> 00:17:30,413 Wait. 342 00:17:34,447 --> 00:17:35,883 We're okay. 343 00:17:36,228 --> 00:17:37,751 - We're okay. - We're okay. 344 00:17:37,786 --> 00:17:40,033 It's a miracle, Ted! 345 00:17:41,216 --> 00:17:45,023 Wow. Sounds like you had some accident in that car. 346 00:17:45,057 --> 00:17:47,503 Actually, he had two accidents if you add the fact that he... 347 00:17:47,535 --> 00:17:49,710 ummina-hummina-hummina-hummina ummina-hummina-hummina-hummina. 348 00:17:51,658 --> 00:17:54,451 I shouldn't even be here, thanks to that deathtrap. 349 00:17:54,486 --> 00:17:55,900 But fate... 350 00:17:55,938 --> 00:17:58,443 fate gave me a second chance. 351 00:17:58,475 --> 00:18:02,670 And helped me realize that our days on this planet are too few to squander. 352 00:18:02,997 --> 00:18:05,763 So I decided from that moment on 353 00:18:05,798 --> 00:18:09,781 to continue living life to its fullest. 354 00:18:09,818 --> 00:18:14,370 So you made a life-changing decision to not change your life at all. 355 00:18:14,406 --> 00:18:15,761 True story. 356 00:18:16,878 --> 00:18:18,100 Guys. 357 00:18:18,138 --> 00:18:20,542 This Fiero's meant a lot to all of us. 358 00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:22,320 Friendships were made. 359 00:18:22,357 --> 00:18:25,032 Adventures had. Horrors faced. 360 00:18:27,077 --> 00:18:28,563 That's why we have to get rid of it. 361 00:18:28,596 --> 00:18:29,840 - Yes! - What? 362 00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:33,252 It's lived a great life and it deserves to die with dignity. 363 00:18:33,285 --> 00:18:34,883 But 200,000... 364 00:18:34,916 --> 00:18:37,421 But that's life. You know? 365 00:18:37,455 --> 00:18:39,873 You never end up where you thought you wanted to be. 366 00:18:39,907 --> 00:18:41,473 I'm not helping the environment. 367 00:18:41,505 --> 00:18:43,033 Ted's not a philosopher. 368 00:18:43,068 --> 00:18:44,692 Lily's not not a world-famous artist. 369 00:18:44,726 --> 00:18:47,563 Barney's never driven more than ten miles an hour. 370 00:18:47,595 --> 00:18:51,200 Robin, I'm sure, has also experienced disappointment in her life. 371 00:18:51,237 --> 00:18:52,173 Maybe? 372 00:18:52,206 --> 00:18:56,273 And my Fiero's not a Fiero that went 200,000 miles. 373 00:18:57,048 --> 00:18:59,553 It's okay. You know? 374 00:18:59,837 --> 00:19:01,481 Those are old dreams. 375 00:19:02,628 --> 00:19:06,443 We'll get a new car and we'll fill that one up with new memories. 376 00:19:06,616 --> 00:19:09,373 And that'll be the car we had when we were first married. 377 00:19:09,426 --> 00:19:11,702 When we owned our first house. 378 00:19:11,998 --> 00:19:14,650 Maybe even the first car our four kids remember. 379 00:19:14,685 --> 00:19:16,740 That's so sweet. 380 00:19:16,778 --> 00:19:19,542 The first car our two kids remember. 381 00:19:21,006 --> 00:19:23,573 I would like to say good-bye. 382 00:19:42,008 --> 00:19:43,273 You know what? 383 00:19:43,305 --> 00:19:45,411 This Fiero, it's effected all our lives. 384 00:19:45,448 --> 00:19:46,671 - Affected. - That's what I said. 385 00:19:46,706 --> 00:19:48,083 Just making sure. 386 00:19:48,118 --> 00:19:50,090 Got us all a lot of places. 387 00:19:50,128 --> 00:19:52,383 I mean maybe it's time we return the favor. 388 00:19:52,415 --> 00:19:54,810 This Fiero should have made it to 200,000. 389 00:19:54,846 --> 00:19:56,742 So, let's get it out that door. 390 00:19:56,778 --> 00:19:58,951 And we'll push it the last .7 miles. 391 00:19:58,985 --> 00:20:00,752 It'd do the same for us. 392 00:20:18,276 --> 00:20:19,740 Hey, geniuses. 393 00:20:19,776 --> 00:20:23,143 The back wheels are on blocks. That car ain't going anywhere. 394 00:20:25,728 --> 00:20:28,512 - Close enough! - Close enough! 395 00:20:29,425 --> 00:20:31,803 And so Marshall said good-bye to his Fiero. 396 00:20:31,835 --> 00:20:33,893 And as the car's final gift to us all, 397 00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:37,970 the money he got for scrap parts paid our bar tab for the next two nights. 398 00:20:38,005 --> 00:20:39,743 Arrivederci, Fiero! 399 00:20:39,777 --> 00:20:42,310 You were the freaking giving tree of cars. 400 00:20:42,346 --> 00:20:44,211 May you rust in peace. 401 00:20:44,246 --> 00:20:46,803 Rot in hell, devil steed. 402 00:20:48,105 --> 00:20:50,783 And what better friend is there than that? 403 00:20:54,537 --> 00:20:56,843 Bro. Have you heard this new song? 404 00:20:56,906 --> 00:20:58,380 I just got the cassingle. 405 00:20:58,416 --> 00:20:59,553 Put it in. 406 00:21:03,507 --> 00:21:05,991 I am never going to get sick of this song. 407 00:21:06,135 --> 00:21:09,081 Never, ever, never, never, ever. 408 00:21:09,257 --> 00:21:10,872 Yeah! 409 00:21:10,925 --> 00:21:14,563 Transcript : Raceman Subtitles : Willow's Team www.forom.com 0 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net