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it was saturday night in new york city,

2
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and the young metropolitan set
was out on the town,

3
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living the kind of crazy lifestyle

4
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you can only find in the big apple.

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a hundred

6
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we only got 82 on our honeymoon.

7
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so, robin

8
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mm? i've got a guy for you.

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oh?

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he's cute.

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he's funny. he's smart.

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what's his "but"? what do you mean?

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when someone wants to set you up,

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they always tell you their good qualities first, but

15
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but then they leave out their huge flaw.

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she's totally hot and really fun.

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but she has a dead tooth.

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she's super-hot, and she's so successful.

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but she has a pug

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that she pushes around in a stroller.

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she's so cute, and she's so smart.

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but her last boyfriend had

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get a restraining order against her,

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and then his cat and new vacuum cleaner both went missing.

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wow set her up

26
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i'm still convinced

27
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she killed my turtle.

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hey you know what? not every setup has a "but."

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what about, um, jamie, that girl

30
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that lily set you up with? yeah.

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she was really nice. if memory
serves me, she had a huge "but.

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her huge butt.

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nailed it!

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yeah.

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well, there's nothing wrong with this guy.

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he's really nice, and he's really cute...

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but

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fine.

39
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but he has a kid.

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aha! there it is!

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robin's not going out with a guy with a kid.

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but the guy is really great, and his kid's sweet.

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he's in my class.

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it doesn't matter robin hates kids.

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i don't hate kids.

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you told me

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even when you were a kid, you hated kids.

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robin,will you watch

49
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cartool with me?

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i go to school all week.

51
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can't i just have

52
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five minutes to myself

53
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to read highlights and drink my juice?

54
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okay, yes, kids are not my favorite thing

55
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in the world,but i like them

56
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well, you don't want to have them.

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i like sports cars, but it doesn't mean

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i want to push a ferrari through my vagina.

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shotgun.

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you can't blame us for thinking that the kid would be a problem.

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i mean, if we were friends with garfield,

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we wouldn't set him up on a date with mondays.

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nice.

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you know what the kid is not a problem i want to meet this guy.

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okay. that's awesome! yeah.

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hey, what's my "but"?

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u know i'm a... i am really nice  but...

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but she's afraid of commitments.

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but she's a gun nut.

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but she'scanadian.

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but she didn't like field of dreams.

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i can't think of...

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you don't have a but.

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i've got it. here. put on this eye patch.

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why?

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the ultimate ice-breaker.

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a bunch of cobras got loose in central park.

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you and i are jogging..

80
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training for the death valley iron man.

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no big deal. we do it every year.

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mm-hmm suddenly,

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we see these snake bastards

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sneaking towards a little baby.

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not on our watch.

86
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you grab the kid

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i strangle six cobras

88
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with my bare hands.

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women of new york, one at a time, please.

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so what the the eye patches for?

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i got bit.

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on the eye?

93
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yes.

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both of us?

95
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they're different eyes.

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i don't know see why this bumps you!

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patch up!

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so robin went on a date with george,

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the guy with the kid, and afterwards...

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okay here's the thing.

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george is

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a great guy.

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we had a wonderful date. but....

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great i can't wait to meet him.

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"can't wait to meet him"?

106
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why did i say that?

107
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i don't want to meet his kid. well, you knew

108
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you'd meet him sooner or later.

109
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oh. i was just hoping for later,

110
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like in 20 years

111
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when i'm a cougar and he's as hot as his dad.

112
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robin, what's the big deal?

113
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he's just a kid

114
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he's not going to bite.

115
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he may bite.

116
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we're working on biting.

117
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why is this kid around anyway?

118
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shouldn't he be with his mom?

119
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i mean, what kind of lawyer does this guy have

120
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if he has to take care of the kid all the time

121
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a good one.

122
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he won full custody.

123
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he won?! he won?

124
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oh god, getting the kid is winning, isn't it?

125
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don't tell anyone i said that.

126
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mm. no.

127
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i'm going out buying eye patches.

128
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what are you doing to help score chicks?

129
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okay, i'm going to let you in on a little secret.

130
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people with real game don't need eye patches.

131
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oh. theodore.

132
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no no no

133
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you can't spell "game" without me,

134
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and me has the best game.

135
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yeah, well,

136
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i got so much game, i'm cornish game hen.

137
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oh, yeah? i'm the new york state gaming commissioner.

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well, i'm the game.

139
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well-crafted, keep-you-guessing thriller

140
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starring michael douglas and sean pen

141
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wow.

142
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wow. you're here

143
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and not in stall two.

144
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yeah. so

145
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i may have made some

146
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wildly inappropriate homoerotic comments

147
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to a gentleman wearing your shoes.

148
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okay, marshall? yes.

149
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which one of us has more game?

150
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neither of you guys has any game, right?

151
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or else you'd be married like me.

152
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what?

153
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if dating is the game,

154
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then marriage is winning the game.

155
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yeah. if you're playing in the women's league.

156
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you're joking.

157
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i have mad game, brah.

158
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okay one

159
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we agreed not ever to say " brah"  any more

160
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it was a good week, we had a lot of fun,

161
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but it's over.

162
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two

163
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you've been with lily for 11 years.

164
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your idea of good game

165
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is slapping on a dr. seuce's hat

166
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and flashing two tickets to a spin doctors concert.

167
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yeah, i hate to say it, buddy,

168
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-but, uh, you're kind of irrelevant

169
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-what? i am not irrelevant.

170
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i know tons of stuff.

171
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i can help you guy

172
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i don't want to be left out.

173
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ted you do not have more game than me.

174
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by sheer numbers

175
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along i win.

176
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come on, dude. you've seen my list.

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you guys want to hear one of my lines?

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first of all, i did not ask to see that list,

179
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and i am still horrified.

180
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and true game

181
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is about quality, not quantity,

182
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and a quality girl would pick me over you any day.

183
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are you a model?

184
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that one's good because it's flattering.

185
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to the girl.

186
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ted

187
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i challenge you to a picking up girls olympiad.

188
00:06:25,810 --> 00:06:27,570
fine there will be 26 events

189
00:06:27,580 --> 00:06:28,860
spread out over 11 weeks.

190
00:06:28,870 --> 00:06:30,630
we will travel to a neutral city

191
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where a panel of internationa

192
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or we could just choose a girl at first to seal the deal who wins

193
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and that's good, too.mm-hmm.

194
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:40,270
how about her?

195
00:06:40,280 --> 00:06:41,230
you're on.

196
00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,430
before we start,

197
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,530
why don't we jot down a few basic ground rules?

198
00:06:45,540 --> 00:06:47,570
okay, great. rule #1: no eye patches

199
00:06:47,580 --> 00:06:50,370
or props of any...

200
00:06:50,380 --> 00:06:52,130
one time

201
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i was with this girl, and i tried that model line,

202
00:06:54,870 --> 00:06:57,370
and i totally got some over-the-shirt boob action

203
00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:59,060
in the "just say no" assembly.

204
00:06:59,070 --> 00:07:00,270
man, just stop.

205
00:07:00,280 --> 00:07:03,270
you're bumming everybody out.

206
00:07:04,410 --> 00:07:06,400
rule number two

207
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the bet is for one million dollars.

208
00:07:10,180 --> 00:07:11,170
i win.

209
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how?

210
00:07:12,070 --> 00:07:13,230
oh, i slept with her.

211
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:14,400
about a year ago.

212
00:07:14,410 --> 00:07:15,500
i just forgot.

213
00:07:15,510 --> 00:07:17,530
oh, well, that doesn't count.

214
00:07:17,540 --> 00:07:19,500
the bet started the moment we shook.

215
00:07:19,510 --> 00:07:22,230
but i can't sleep with her again,she hates me.

216
00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:23,570
oh interesting.

217
00:07:23,580 --> 00:07:25,160
look who just took a commanding lead.

218
00:07:25,170 --> 00:07:28,630
-now with you out of the picture
i can take -ted, she's leaving.

219
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,960
get out of my way.

220
00:07:30,970 --> 00:07:32,300
by the look

221
00:07:32,310 --> 00:07:36,240
of those shoes here comes
your bathroom buddy.

222
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look who's got game.

223
00:07:46,110 --> 00:07:48,330
so, you're a big kids person, huh?

224
00:07:48,340 --> 00:07:49,460
only the biggest ever

225
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:51,960
i think kids are so great,

226
00:07:51,970 --> 00:07:57,130
especially uh the ones, you know, uh... pudgy,

227
00:07:57,140 --> 00:07:59,270
can't sit up, don't have teeth yet.

228
00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:00,170
you mean babies?

229
00:08:00,180 --> 00:08:01,800
yeah, i like that kind.

230
00:08:01,810 --> 00:08:03,930
well, doug's almost six,

231
00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:05,230
oh, six is great.

232
00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,000
oh, you are going to love six.

233
00:08:07,010 --> 00:08:10,660
six is when they, uh, they really start to, um...

234
00:08:10,670 --> 00:08:13,300
i hate kids.

235
00:08:13,310 --> 00:08:14,630
excuse me. what?

236
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,300
i mean, i don't hate kids.

237
00:08:16,310 --> 00:08:18,060
i'm-i'm just not a kid person.

238
00:08:18,070 --> 00:08:20,760
i mean, yeah, it's cute that their shoes are real little,

239
00:08:20,770 --> 00:08:23,730
but beyond that, what's the drawl?

240
00:08:23,740 --> 00:08:25,830
you must think i'm nuts.

241
00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:27,000
what? no, no, no. i...

242
00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:28,370
so you don't like kids, so what?

243
00:08:28,380 --> 00:08:29,370
and i'm not looking

244
00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:31,030
for a mother for doug.

245
00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:33,500
uh, why don't we just hold off on you meeting him?

246
00:08:33,510 --> 00:08:34,730
yeah.

247
00:08:34,740 --> 00:08:36,630
let's take things slow.

248
00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,040
and kids, that's exactly what she did.

249
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then, on a totally different date

250
00:08:42,140 --> 00:08:43,830
that was definitely not the next morning,

251
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aunt robin had to face her worst fear.

252
00:08:50,180 --> 00:08:51,600
hey, what's up?

253
00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:52,860
it's here, lily.

254
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it's looking at me.

255
00:08:54,110 --> 00:08:55,370
what?

256
00:08:55,380 --> 00:08:57,400
the kid. what do i do?

257
00:08:57,410 --> 00:08:59,030
just talk to him. you can do this, robin.

258
00:08:59,040 --> 00:09:00,170
who are you?

259
00:09:00,180 --> 00:09:03,330
um, i'm robin.

260
00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:04,370
that's a bird's name.

261
00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:05,530
ah, no, it's not

262
00:09:05,540 --> 00:09:06,930
it's actually a type of bird.

263
00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:10,730
my friend patrick has a parakeet named robin, so there.

264
00:09:10,740 --> 00:09:11,980
do you want to talk in morse code?

265
00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:15,550
dude, i'm-i'm just reading my paper, so...

266
00:09:22,070 --> 00:09:24,230
i'm starving. will you make me cereal?

267
00:09:24,240 --> 00:09:26,900
sure.

268
00:09:26,910 --> 00:09:28,200
what are you doing? you're supposed

269
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to pour the milk first.

270
00:09:29,410 --> 00:09:30,860
what?! no, you pour the cereal first

271
00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:32,530
so you know how much milk you need.

272
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it tastes better milk first!

273
00:09:34,210 --> 00:09:36,860
it all tastes the same once it's in the bowl.

274
00:09:36,870 --> 00:09:38,660
why are you wearing my dad's pants?

275
00:09:38,670 --> 00:09:41,980
milk first it is.

276
00:09:42,110 --> 00:09:43,660
what are you reading?

277
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:45,760
the business section.

278
00:09:45,770 --> 00:09:47,600
the fed's going to lower rates again

279
00:09:47,610 --> 00:09:49,200
to bail out these sub-prime lenders.

280
00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:50,800
bunch of idiots.

281
00:09:50,810 --> 00:09:53,630
ms. aldrin says it's not nice to call people names.

282
00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:55,470
well, maybe if they weren't such idiots,

283
00:09:55,480 --> 00:09:57,370
i wouldn't have to call them that.

284
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,630
that's what i said.

285
00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,960
you're pretty cool.

286
00:10:00,970 --> 00:10:04,210
you too.

287
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,630
meanwhile stacey and i had start

288
00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:08,630
oh, stacey was the girl from the bar.

289
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:10,800
anyway, i was close to winning the bet

290
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:12,060
when something unexpected happened.

291
00:10:12,070 --> 00:10:14,860
i started to really like her.

292
00:10:14,870 --> 00:10:16,100
well, have fun in yoga.

293
00:10:16,110 --> 00:10:17,270
she's strengthening her core.

294
00:10:17,280 --> 00:10:19,100
i think that's going to be good.

295
00:10:19,110 --> 00:10:20,800
yeah? all right.

296
00:10:20,810 --> 00:10:24,310
after a while, crocodile.

297
00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:25,900
you see this?

298
00:10:25,910 --> 00:10:27,010
game face.

299
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:29,550
whatever, ted get this.

300
00:10:29,550 --> 00:10:31,350
she play bass

301
00:10:31,350 --> 00:10:33,370
in a reggae band.

302
00:10:33,380 --> 00:10:35,370
they're having a show this friday.

303
00:10:35,380 --> 00:10:36,630
how cool is that?

304
00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:39,910
oh, does she know that one song?

305
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:42,330
what's that song called?

306
00:10:42,340 --> 00:10:45,930
oh, right. it's called every reggae song.

307
00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:47,500
i am not irrelevant. what?

308
00:10:47,510 --> 00:10:48,730
i ran the numbers.

309
00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:51,600
if lily and i have sex twice a week,

310
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:53,630
which let's be honest, we all know is being conservative,

311
00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:55,110
and we've been together

312
00:10:55,110 --> 00:10:56,530
for ten years,

313
00:10:56,540 --> 00:10:59,800
plus 17 more times on the honeymoon,

314
00:10:59,810 --> 00:11:02,430
minus the two-week drought when i said the checker

315
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:04,710
at the grocery store might have met me and the young lily

316
00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:07,630
then we have had sex a total of

317
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:09,930
-wait for it -nice.

318
00:11:09,940 --> 00:11:13,160
1,053-1/2 times.

319
00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:15,130
my mom called once.

320
00:11:15,140 --> 00:11:16,700
but that's more times than barney

321
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,130
has ever had sex, and to your point, ted

322
00:11:19,140 --> 00:11:20,600
lily is a quality girl.

323
00:11:20,610 --> 00:11:21,800
i win.

324
00:11:21,810 --> 00:11:24,680
lawyered.

325
00:11:25,540 --> 00:11:26,960
doesn't count.

326
00:11:26,970 --> 00:11:28,860
it totally counts.

327
00:11:28,870 --> 00:11:30,030
you're right. it does count.

328
00:11:30,040 --> 00:11:31,100
it counts as one.

329
00:11:31,110 --> 00:11:32,500
you've had sex once.

330
00:11:32,510 --> 00:11:35,170
how was it?

331
00:11:35,480 --> 00:11:39,610
i still matter.

332
00:11:40,010 --> 00:11:42,370
okay ted go win the bet.

333
00:11:42,380 --> 00:11:45,330
you have my blessing she's a wonderful girl.

334
00:11:45,340 --> 00:11:46,800
i should know.

335
00:11:46,810 --> 00:11:48,170
oh, okay.

336
00:11:48,180 --> 00:11:49,960
okay i see what you're doing.

337
00:11:49,970 --> 00:11:52,830
we've never shared a woman, have we ted?

338
00:11:52,840 --> 00:11:54,060
isn't that funny?

339
00:11:54,070 --> 00:11:55,100
you're with her now.

340
00:11:55,110 --> 00:11:56,630
i was with her a year ago

341
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,570
you figure, for her, that's like 200 showers ago.

342
00:11:59,580 --> 00:12:01,270
you've got to ask yourself ted

343
00:12:01,280 --> 00:12:02,960
"is 200 enough?"

344
00:12:02,970 --> 00:12:04,860
you know what?

345
00:12:04,870 --> 00:12:06,170
i don't mind.

346
00:12:06,180 --> 00:12:07,800
no, of course you don't mind.

347
00:12:07,810 --> 00:12:09,470
just lik the second guy to climb

348
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:11,730
mount everest didn't mind getting all the way to the top

349
00:12:11,740 --> 00:12:14,400
only to find sir edmund hillary flat pole

350
00:12:14,410 --> 00:12:16,730
thrust into its supple peak.

351
00:12:16,740 --> 00:12:18,860
no, i'm sure when you're with her,

352
00:12:18,870 --> 00:12:20,700
i'll be the furthest thing from your mind

353
00:12:20,710 --> 00:12:22,960
kissing what i've already kissed,

354
00:12:22,970 --> 00:12:25,800
nuzzling what i've already nuzzled,

355
00:12:25,810 --> 00:12:27,570
going...

356
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:31,170
on what i've already gone  on.

357
00:12:31,180 --> 00:12:33,600
barney, i'm not afraid

358
00:12:33,610 --> 00:12:35,830
of catching your cooties, 'kay?

359
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,170
really? ted's not afraid of cooties?

360
00:12:38,180 --> 00:12:40,200
no okay well then i guess you'd have no problem

361
00:12:40,210 --> 00:12:41,500
having a sip of my g.d tonic.

362
00:12:41,510 --> 00:12:43,710
fine

363
00:12:48,410 --> 00:12:52,270
and i only stirred that with my pinky

364
00:12:53,210 --> 00:12:56,000
guess who loves robin.

365
00:12:56,010 --> 00:12:59,860
kids. kids love ted.

366
00:12:59,870 --> 00:13:01,570
doug thinks i'm pretty cool.

367
00:13:01,580 --> 00:13:02,760
really, that's great!

368
00:13:02,770 --> 00:13:05,730
you and george, all thanks to me.

369
00:13:05,740 --> 00:13:07,600
ah'i'm gonna have to break up with him.

370
00:13:07,610 --> 00:13:08,760
what?

371
00:13:08,770 --> 00:13:10,400
well, it's just.

372
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:12,330
it's getting a little bit too serious with the kid.

373
00:13:12,340 --> 00:13:13,660
you know, it's just not

374
00:13:13,670 --> 00:13:15,370
what i'm looking for.

375
00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:16,380
better i break it off now

376
00:13:16,380 --> 00:13:19,230
before he gets too attached.

377
00:13:19,240 --> 00:13:20,230
what?

378
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,730
i hate to tell you this, but..

379
00:13:22,740 --> 00:13:25,740
too late.

380
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:29,910
he drew it in class today.

381
00:13:36,470 --> 00:13:38,960
there is no way  that's a picture of me.

382
00:13:38,970 --> 00:13:40,430
that woman has on hoop earrings.

383
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,130
i don't even own hoop earrings.

384
00:13:42,140 --> 00:13:43,590
i have one pair and they're gold.

385
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:44,890
those are fruit loops.

386
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,930
you are so in denial right now

387
00:13:46,940 --> 00:13:49,860
and you're doing what you always do in relationships:

388
00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:53,690
the second you get close to a guy, you want to bail.

389
00:13:53,700 --> 00:13:54,730
okay, granted, he's six,

390
00:13:54,740 --> 00:13:56,190
but the point stands.

391
00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:58,860
well, we'll ask the guys.

392
00:13:58,870 --> 00:14:00,630
they'll tell you that's not me.

393
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,960
that's totally you.

394
00:14:01,970 --> 00:14:03,860
what... you guys are crazy.

395
00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:05,530
hey, who drew the picture of robin?

396
00:14:05,540 --> 00:14:06,530
it's not me.

397
00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:07,590
you're joking right?

398
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,830
-it's not me! -"my new mommy."

399
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,160
kind of has a nice ring to it.

400
00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:13,860
hey, now that you're a mom are you going to start wearing

401
00:14:13,870 --> 00:14:15,370
those totally awesome jeans

402
00:14:15,370 --> 00:14:16,430
that go right up to your boobs?

403
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,560
do you guys really think this is me?

404
00:14:18,570 --> 00:14:19,990
honey, it's you.

405
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,860
and if you're going to break up with george,

406
00:14:21,870 --> 00:14:23,530
you have to break up with his kid, too.

407
00:14:23,540 --> 00:14:24,730
really?

408
00:14:24,740 --> 00:14:26,490
yeah, you can't just abandon him.

409
00:14:26,500 --> 00:14:28,990
you have to talk to him.

410
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,130
come on,  you know

411
00:14:30,140 --> 00:14:31,360
it's the right thing to do.

412
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,330
oh, man.

413
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:37,140
doug was right you are a pa

414
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,830
so i had a really nice time tonight.

415
00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:40,930
me, too.

416
00:14:40,940 --> 00:14:44,200
yeah?

417
00:14:44,440 --> 00:14:47,460
hey, ted, pucker up all you want,

418
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:50,970
but i was here first

419
00:14:57,870 --> 00:15:00,560
from this spot, i also launched

420
00:15:00,570 --> 00:15:03,860
an expedition those two large ridges

421
00:15:03,870 --> 00:15:07,570
down there.

422
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:18,660
ted?

423
00:15:18,670 --> 00:15:23,100
something wrong?

424
00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:25,730
hey, doug.

425
00:15:25,740 --> 00:15:27,160
are you here to see my dad?

426
00:15:27,170 --> 00:15:28,560
he's taking a shower.

427
00:15:28,570 --> 00:15:30,830
actually, i came to see you.

428
00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:31,930
i wrote a poem.

429
00:15:31,940 --> 00:15:33,390
do you want to hear it

430
00:15:33,400 --> 00:15:34,490
sure. why not?

431
00:15:34,500 --> 00:15:37,870
"to my new mommy"

432
00:15:37,940 --> 00:15:39,660
"you are pretty"

433
00:15:39,670 --> 00:15:41,490
"you are nice"

434
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:43,490
"and you smell like daisies"

435
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:45,090
aw, that is so sweet.

436
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:47,090
even though it doesn't right

437
00:15:47,100 --> 00:15:50,020
look, uh, doug.

438
00:15:50,030 --> 00:15:52,360
there's no good way to say this

439
00:15:52,370 --> 00:15:54,790
aunt robin didn't know to what to say.

440
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,190
this kid has never been dumped before.

441
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,990
but then she realized...

442
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,790
this kid had never been dumped before.

443
00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:03,790
she could use every cliche in the book.

444
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,030
we need to talk.

445
00:16:05,040 --> 00:16:07,130
i just think, hum

446
00:16:07,140 --> 00:16:09,460
we both could use some space right now.

447
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,460
it's not you. it's me.

448
00:16:11,470 --> 00:16:14,490
i know this hurts, but you deserts someone better

449
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:18,060
i'm just really trying to focus on my career right now.

450
00:16:18,070 --> 00:16:19,630
you know?

451
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:23,040
i just hope we can still be friends.

452
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,830
hi, i'm brooke.

453
00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,240
i'm here for my date with george.

454
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:32,570
you must be

455
00:16:32,570 --> 00:16:35,600
the babysitter.

456
00:16:39,700 --> 00:16:40,860
i had so much coffee earlier.

457
00:16:40,870 --> 00:16:44,140
i need to run to the loo, but hey, dougie.

458
00:16:46,500 --> 00:16:48,290
what the hell was that?

459
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,630
that was my new mom.

460
00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:54,360
so... this picture is not of me?

461
00:16:54,370 --> 00:16:56,430
why would i draw a picture of you?

462
00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:58,360
wha...?

463
00:16:58,370 --> 00:17:00,190
how many dates has she been on with your dad?

464
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,330
two.

465
00:17:01,340 --> 00:17:02,440
i've been on five

466
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:03,530
and you like her better?

467
00:17:03,540 --> 00:17:05,660
we just really connected.

468
00:17:05,670 --> 00:17:07,030
and what about me?

469
00:17:07,040 --> 00:17:09,360
you think i just go around pouring cereal

470
00:17:09,370 --> 00:17:10,930
for every boy in town?

471
00:17:10,940 --> 00:17:13,660
why are you getting so upset, roberta?

472
00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:16,140
robin my name is robin.

473
00:17:16,140 --> 00:17:17,990
like the bird, remember?

474
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,930
whatever.

475
00:17:20,940 --> 00:17:23,090
so that's it, huh?

476
00:17:23,100 --> 00:17:25,930
look, you're great, but...

477
00:17:25,940 --> 00:17:29,430
yeah. there's always a "but."

478
00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:30,860
well, i couldn't do it.

479
00:17:30,870 --> 00:17:32,290
i broke up with her.

480
00:17:32,300 --> 00:17:33,790
thanks a lot, by the way.

481
00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:35,360
a beautiful, sexy girl

482
00:17:35,370 --> 00:17:37,790
and all i could think about you being there first.

483
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:40,930
you were stuck in my head like chumbawamba song.

484
00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:44,990
which chumbawamba song?

485
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,990
well, what an interesting turn of events

486
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,290
it looks like i'm going to win.

487
00:17:50,300 --> 00:17:52,130
what do you mean "win"? you couldn't even talk to her.

488
00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:53,760
you tried and you got slapped. mm-hmm

489
00:17:53,770 --> 00:17:55,060
that's what you think happened.

490
00:17:55,070 --> 00:17:56,190
okay, great, rule no.1:

491
00:17:56,200 --> 00:17:58,560
no eye patch or props of any...

492
00:17:58,570 --> 00:18:00,560
here's the deal:  my friend just got dumped, so he's a little shy,

493
00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:02,590
but i'd love to buy you a drink and get to know you.

494
00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,790
the problem is, she this a pretty girl like you won't go for a guy like him.

495
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:06,260
so would you slap me across the face so he can see

496
00:18:06,270 --> 00:18:07,530
you're not into guys who'd feed you lines?

497
00:18:07,540 --> 00:18:08,630
what do you say? for my friend?

498
00:18:08,640 --> 00:18:11,430
you are so sweet.

499
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,330
so now, whatever nice things

500
00:18:13,340 --> 00:18:14,790
ted does for her, in her mind,

501
00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,630
i'm the guy who's even nicer than him.

502
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:17,890
so you never slept with her?

503
00:18:17,900 --> 00:18:19,730
not even at all.

504
00:18:19,740 --> 00:18:21,890
wow, that's good.

505
00:18:21,900 --> 00:18:23,190
it gets better.

506
00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:24,590
remember ted's phone conversation?

507
00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:26,160
we have fun in yoga.

508
00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:28,800
well..

509
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,290
i am... sorry.

510
00:18:30,300 --> 00:18:31,890
stacey, right?

511
00:18:31,900 --> 00:18:34,790
yeah... oh, you're ted's friend fro||the bar, right?

512
00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:36,990
yeah. wait, don't tell me you go to yoga here, too.

513
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,190
i do.

514
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:41,260
she plays bass in a reggae band.

515
00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:43,430
and then i'm going to head out to a reggae concert.

516
00:18:43,440 --> 00:18:44,490
i'm a huge an of reggae.

517
00:18:44,500 --> 00:18:45,760
oh my gosh!

518
00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:47,430
i play in a reggae band.

519
00:18:47,440 --> 00:18:48,860
no way.

520
00:18:48,870 --> 00:18:50,160
i wonder why ted didn't tell me about that.

521
00:18:50,170 --> 00:18:52,590
like i said, i'm a huge reggae fan.

522
00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:54,990
well... i should go inside.

523
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,490
after a while, crocodile.

524
00:18:56,500 --> 00:18:59,930
see you later, allig... see you later, allig..

525
00:18:59,940 --> 00:19:01,160
we are two ears.

526
00:19:01,170 --> 00:19:02,930
wow, well, take care.

527
00:19:02,940 --> 00:19:06,970
um, namaste.

528
00:19:11,300 --> 00:19:13,090
you are a sociopath.

529
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:15,990
and that was my yoga mat.

530
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,390
so now with ted out of the picture,

531
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,530
i'm going to swoop in and win the whole thing.

532
00:19:19,540 --> 00:19:22,900
why? parce que j'ai le jeu, mes  iennes.

533
00:19:22,900 --> 00:19:24,690
translation:

534
00:19:24,700 --> 00:19:27,460
"cause i got game, bitches"

535
00:19:27,470 --> 00:19:30,060
no no this doen't prove anything because...

536
00:19:30,070 --> 00:19:31,460
hold on a second.

537
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:32,960
it's stace .

538
00:19:32,970 --> 00:19:34,790
hey, stace?

539
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:36,960
what happened?

540
00:19:36,970 --> 00:19:39,630
he did not!

541
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:40,630
stay there.

542
00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:43,700
i'll be right over.

543
00:19:44,540 --> 00:19:49,170
i should've just rn that stupid eye patch.

544
00:19:49,670 --> 00:19:52,330
oh, i can't believe you got dumped by a six years old.

545
00:19:52,340 --> 00:19:55,330
whatever he's a stupid-head.

546
00:19:55,340 --> 00:19:57,330
i'm just... i'm done with kids.

547
00:19:57,340 --> 00:20:00,330
of course, ted eventually made her peace with kids.

548
00:20:00,340 --> 00:20:02,390
and as you guy know she went on to appear

549
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:05,480
in some very important works of art: yours.

550
00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:09,790
US And Aunt Robin

551
00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:13,380
US and Aunt Robin At THE ZOO

552
00:20:13,390 --> 00:20:16,840
US AND AUNT ROBIN AT THE BEACH

553
00:20:17,900 --> 00:20:23,210
one month later

554
00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:25,080
hey

555
00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:26,710
you know, i really appreciate

556
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,850
how cool you've been
about us taking things slow.

557
00:20:29,860 --> 00:20:31,350
since ted, you know, i...

558
00:20:31,360 --> 00:20:32,950
i don't really want to get physical too fast.

559
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:36,280
that's what makes you so special, baby.

560
00:20:36,290 --> 00:20:38,250
anyway, i am so psyched

561
00:20:38,260 --> 00:20:39,880
to be playing sunsplash tomorrow.

562
00:20:39,890 --> 00:20:42,080
we go on sometime
between 11:00 and 6:00,

563
00:20:42,090 --> 00:20:46,610
so you probably want to get there
before 9:00 just to be safe.

564
00:20:46,620 --> 00:20:49,990
oh, and it's gonna be muddy.

565
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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566
00:20:50,305 --> 00:20:56,426
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