Back when we were dating, Robin and I had this running joke
Yes it does everyone knows that it's like general knowledge
General Knowledge
And we did it all the time
Isn't it sad that I mean in 2007 some countries...
actually still condone corporal punishment
Corporal Punishment
Because once you start, it's surprisingly hard to stop
Oh man I got kernel stuck in my teeth
Kernel stuck in my teeth
But now we were broken up so when Marshall said
but after the first year i get a major pay raise
We just let it slide
You see on the surface, Robin and I look like we were doing great
But the truth is trying to be friends with your ex is a lot hard than it looks.
You can't be as candid as you used to be.
So then this hot intern leans over my desk,
I can totally see she has a pierced...
Brosnan.
Pierce Brosnan is my favorite of all the Bonds.
But most importantly, you can never, ever be alone together.
I gotta go.
I'm gonna go pay.
- I'm gonna help Marshall pay. - I'm gonna help Lily pee.
All right, we have a turkey.
Yeah, we do.
Yeah, this is gonna be the best Slapsgiving ever.
What?
I said this is going to be the best Thanksgiving ever.
Yeah, this is going to be great.
Just the five of us, right?
You've been on, like, three dates with that guy.
We haven't even met him.
Well, he didn't have anywhere else to go, and I didn't know what to say.
- Is it really that big a deal? - Yes.
This is our first Thanksgiving.
30 years from now, we're going to look at the photos and say,
"Oh, there's the four people I love most in the world.And Bob."
Real Thanksgiving happened over a month ago.
"the real Thanksgiving"?
Canadian Thanksgiving celebrates explorer Martin Frobisher's valiant yet
Oh, hey, by the way, if anyone wants to come over early Thursday,
we can watch the Slapsgiving Day Parade.
Well, there, you said it again.
Said what?
Slapsgiving.
Kids, you remember the slap bet.
A yearlier, Marshall made a bet with Barney and won the right to slap him five times.
And the second.
But Marshall had something special in store for the third.
No, no.
The countdown ends at 3:00 p.m. the day after Thanksgiving.
I counted it out.
How many days are in October?
I like Halloween very much. Is nice.
Is also tomorrow.
Damn it!
Wait, you're gonna slap me on Thanksgiving?
Slapsgiving.
That's not allowed.
china for the first time wants to say hell, no,
but yeah, I'm going to allow it.
Well, you know what?
If you're trying to freak me out about spending Thanksgiving...
Slapsgiving.
At your place, then you failed.
- Truth is, I'm not scared. - Really?
Right. 'Cause you blew it.
The worst part about getting slapped is not knowing when it's going to happen.
And Thursday at 3:01 p.m.
Oh, there's Bob!
By the way, heads up, he's a little bit older than us.
How old is he?
He's forty-one.
Hey, Bob! Over here!
But when your ex is dating someone new, your...
mind tends to accentuate their flaws.
This is how I saw Bob.
Hey, dudes, what's crackin'?
- Hey, man, how are you? - Good to meet you.
Sorry I'm late.
They were totally on my case:
You ought to be stoked I found my bliss."
And speaking of bliss, sugar me, baby.
Let's go get a drink.
Robin is dating Orville Redenbacher.
What are you talking about?
He's forty-one. He looks great.
Yeah, du he's in pretty good shape.
probably could kick your ass.
How are you guys not seeing this?
He's 150; Robin's 27.
Barney, come on, what do you got?
Nothing but respect for that man.
Oh, by the way, we're all baking pies at Robin's tomorrow.
For the millionth time, sleep-eating is a...
very serious and delicious medical condition.
Hey, uh, what time are you guys going to Robin's?
7:30.
Perfect. Just to be safe, I'll get there like 8:00,8:30.
9:30 pm
Sorry I'm late.
Is Bob coming?
No, he went to see Green Day.
So it's...
- Just the two of us. - just the two of us.
- Making pies. - Pies.
They're things that friends make together.
Yeah, they do.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
Great. Well, this is great.
It'll give us a chance to catch up.
Yeah.
- I'm going to make a phone call. - I'll put it in t oven.
Hey, it's me.
Listen, you have to come over here and make pies.
Yeah, I'll be there, absolutely.
It's still kind of weird being alone with Robin, but if you were here...
Hey, say no more.
I mean, when I pulled you out of that burning wreckage,
I wasn't doing it to have a battleship named after me.
But if you insist, yes, I'll be there for the christening.
You're hitting on someone right now, aren't you?
No, I'm not going to wear the medal of honor.
That would just be tacky.
So you're not coming to make pies.
No, no.
Thank you, Mr. President.
Sorry.
After a very long night, it was finally the big holiday.
Sorry, the two big holidays.
Oh, Marshall, are you working on the cranberry sauce?
In a minute, baby.
I've only got so many hands.
You see what I got going on here?
and then I'm going to slap you in your face.
Please, you took out all the suspense.
At precisely 3:00 a.m. I'm gonna jump out of that closet right there
and hack you all up with a machete.
P.S. Fire is my one weakness.
Hey, Ted.
- Happy Thanksgiving. - You, too.
- Is Lily in the kitchen? - Yep.
Great.
- Marshall? - Lily?
- Yeah? - Uh-huh?
- Something really weird happened last night.
You may not realize this, but since we broke up,
Robin and I have never really been alone together.
So we're in the kitchen, starting on the pies, and we realize,
we don't have a damn thing to say to each other.
I mean, you can't talk about how close you used to be.
You can't talk about how close you're not now.
And you know why?
Because you don't want to hurt someone you...
I mean, what decent human being would want to...
cause any kind of emotional or physical pain...
You're still getting slapped.
I wanted to leave, but I couldn't stick her with making all the pies by herself.
She was exhausted.
I yawned like a million times trying to get him to leave.
Yeah, some people just can't take a hint.
By the way, I'm really swamped in here.
I'm not sure I have time to mash those potatoes,
- you're standing right next to. - And then Ted does the thing that
- he always does when there's an awkward silence.
Yep.
Masher's right there, next to the pot.
He panics and says the first thing that pops into his head.
- Terrible. - What?
Then he makes it ten times more awkward.
How do you respond to something like that?
Did you know that the Egyptian pyramids can be seen from space?
Probably?
Ooh, the oven's pre-heated!
Okay, um...
the pecan pie is gonna take the longest.
Why don't we put that one in first?
Pecan pie? Why are we making that?
Um, it's my favorite.
- You're allergic. - I know.
I just like smelling it.
It's like eating with your nose.
So we're making a pie for Bob.
Well... yeah.
- She's got you making pies for this guy? - Yeah.
That is a real slap in the face.
You know, you could have just told me it was for Bob.
Yeah, I-I just thought it might upset you.
Upset me?
Wait a second.
Do you think that...
do you think that I'm jealous of Bob?
I don't know.
Because he's a thousand years old.
- No, Ted, what are you doing? - Right?
we can only talk about the first Thanksgiving,
but he was actually there.
Come on.
I heard Noah gave him shotgun in the ark.
Ted...
The only reason I'm jealous of Bob is that I'm just an architect,
but he discovered fire. How do you top that?
That's what friends do.
It's mean.
Well, how come we're all allowed to bust on Barney when he dates some skanktron,
but when you sleep with the Crypt
Secondly, have I said one word about the parade of dubious conquests
- Hey, that is... - And if you and I are such good friends...
why is baking a pie for Bob so weird?
Yeah, if you and I are such good friends,
why couldn't you just tell me that's what we were doing?
Okay, maybe we should talk about this later.
I-I should get going.
Well, what are we doing? It's Thanksgiving.
I don't know. I'm sorry.
- This is stupid. - I'm sorry, too.
- I'm glad we're friends. - Me too
you guys slept together last night?
That is a terrible idea!
Horrible idea.
Relapse five!
That's where we high-five, then it's awkward for a little bit...
and then we high-five again!
What the hell were you doing?
Let's review: You and Ted broke up six months ago,
Yep.
you're dating another man...
You are correct, sir.
who's coming to my Thanksgiving today...
That is a truth-fact.
an event Ted is also attending.
Oh, Lily, it's not as bad as it sounds.
Bob and I aren't that serious, and what happened last night with Ted was a fluke.
Well, did you guys at least talk about it?
Clearly, we need to ignore this.
Clearly, we need to talk about this.
- We need to talk. - Stuffed mushroom?
Probably... Not?
Ted, can we please just deal with this?
Look, I'm not mad. I just think...
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Why would you be mad-- you started it?
What? You're crazy!
We called a truce, we hugged,
and when I tried to pull away, you kept your hand on my neck.
Only because your hand was still around my waist.
Oh, come on! You leaned into it.
- I...leaned into it? - Yeah.
You're like the crappy kid in Little League who knows he's not going to make contact,
so he just...
"Oops, I got hit by the pitch. Better take my base.
This is Thanksgiving.
Solve this right now.
And if you have sex again, neither of you gets dessert!
Oh, what the hell kind of Thanksgiving is this anyway?
Um, most Thanksgivings.
Don't stress, baby.
Ooh, some classical music, maybe.
Oh, my! Look at that.
That means we're in the final hour of the countdown.
I'm not scared.
Then why is your right cheek twitching?
It's not...
Maybe it's because Future Me slaps Future You so hard,
it reverberates back to the present, shattering the time-slap continuum.
Please don't slap me.
Oh, God! Don't slap me again!
I don't want to get slapped again, and the first two times hurt so bad, I don't like it!
I don't like it one bit!
I thought I ruined it by putting a clock on it, Barney?
Well, you didn't ruin it; you made it so much worse!
I can't eat. I can't sleep.
You know what? I'm outta here.
Well, no, no, no. You can't leave.
Why can't I?
Nowhere in the rules does it say that I have to sit through sort of mental torture!
You are allowed to slap my face, sir,
but you are not allowed to slap my mind! Good day!
- But it's Slapsgiving. - No!
It's Thanksgiving!
Our first one as a married couple, as grownups--
and you're not even trying to be a part of it!
None of you are!
So...
as Slap Bet Commissioner, I'm issuing a ruling.
Thanksgiving is a day of peace.
There will be no slaps today!
- What? - Yes!
What's up, dudes?
Hey, Bob.
- Baby, please... - No!
The Slap Bet Commissioner's word is final,
so get in the kitchen and mash some potatoes, now.
And for the rest of the day, we are going to enjoy a civilized, grownup holiday.
Not too grownup.
I made Jell-O shots.
We's gonna get silly, bitches.
Look at us!
We can't be alone together, can we?
Apparently not.
What does that mean?
We're supposed to be friends.
Well... We aren't friends, are we?
Not really. We avoid each other.
We smile politely.
We're two people who pretend to be friends because it would be inconvenient not to.
Well, maybe we should stop pretending.
Maybe we should.
So...
Oh, what do we do now?
Yeah.
And then that's it.
Okay.
Happy Thanksgiving.
So we sat down to our first Thanksgiving together as a group...
and, apparently, our last.
Marshall, you're not eating.
Nope. This sucks.Eat up and leave.
Well, then, I'd like to say something.
If that's cool?
today, Lily did something great.
Not only did she gather us all here together and cook a delicious meal,
but she also started a new tradition.
We're gonna do this again next year, and the year after that--
maybe for the rest of our lives.
I think that's pretty amazing if you think about it.
And it's all thanks to you, Lily.
So, to the first of many Thanksgivings together.
This is rad!
A nice, small, simple Thanksgiving.
I'm the youngest of ten in my family, so our Thanksgiving is a mess.
And then a funny thing happened...
It's really a major buzz-kill.
- Major Buzz-kill. - Major Buzz-kill.
Oh, no...
I thought we were done with that?
I guess we're not.
Guess we're not.
You see kids, friendship is an involuntary reflex--
it just happens, you can't help it.
That first Thanksgiving turned out to be a wonderful...
dinner with the four people I love most in the world...
and Bob.
And it did become a tradition.
That's why every year, we go to Aunt Lily and Uncle Marshall's for Thanksgiving.
Hey, check it out!
We're in the last 20 seconds of Marshall's countdown to nothing.
Barney, put it away.
How does it feel, Marshall, to sit there, impotently--
your large, flaccid hand, just dangling in the wind?
The slap will occur in ten...
I will in... five...
four...
You can slap him.
What?
Wait, you...
That's three!
And as a special, added bonus, I've composed a song just for this occasion.
Ted, lights!
* What is this feelin' *
* That's put you in your place? *
* A hot, red burnin' on the side of your face *
* You feel the blood rush to your cheek *
* Tears start to fill your eyes *
* And your lips are tremblin' *
* But you can't speak, you're tryin' *
* Oh, you're tryin' *
* Not to cry! *
* Ya just got sla-apped *
* And everybody laughed and clapped *
* It was awesome *
* Wait, you just got... *
* Slapped. *
Happy Slapsgiving, everybody.
well guys have fun
well this is gonna be a major clean-up
Major Clean-up
that's the general idea
General Idea