1 00:00:01,332 --> 00:00:03,590 Now kids, when Aunt Robin was a teenager 2 00:00:03,690 --> 00:00:04,780 She was, well, 3 00:00:05,470 --> 00:00:06,615 a Canadian pop star. 4 00:00:07,740 --> 00:00:10,702 But by 2008, she was an entirely different person... 5 00:00:15,601 --> 00:00:18,947 Coming up next: Is your baby trying to kill you? 6 00:00:19,881 --> 00:00:22,464 ...which made the events of that week all the more surprising. 7 00:00:22,785 --> 00:00:25,232 So, I go in this morning and, brr, it's freezing! 8 00:00:25,332 --> 00:00:27,798 So I walk over there, and I don't know why I'm still talking, 9 00:00:27,898 --> 00:00:30,295 because clearly, we're all asking the same question, 10 00:00:30,394 --> 00:00:32,826 What in God's creation is going on with Robin's breasts? 11 00:00:32,928 --> 00:00:35,609 I know! Right? Isn't it amazing? 12 00:00:35,706 --> 00:00:37,901 I spent half an hour making this happen. 13 00:00:38,005 --> 00:00:39,572 There's tape in there, cotton balls, 14 00:00:39,675 --> 00:00:41,398 half of a Nerf football, but it works, right? 15 00:00:41,933 --> 00:00:43,356 Totally. What's the occasion? 16 00:00:43,721 --> 00:00:46,646 And old friend from Canada is in town and I'm meeting him for a drink. 17 00:00:47,384 --> 00:00:49,117 Somebody you went to Degrassi with? 18 00:00:49,482 --> 00:00:52,538 No. Actually, he was my first boyfriend. 19 00:00:53,272 --> 00:00:57,329 Simon. I thought he was the coolest guy ever. 20 00:00:57,601 --> 00:01:00,869 He smelled like Drakkar. He could ollie on a skateboard. 21 00:01:00,971 --> 00:01:05,939 And he had the most amazing collection of Hard Rock Café T-shirts. 22 00:01:06,512 --> 00:01:08,966 We spent the whole summer madly in love. 23 00:01:09,762 --> 00:01:11,696 Tell me more. Tell me more. 24 00:01:11,804 --> 00:01:13,469 Like, did he have a car? 25 00:01:14,432 --> 00:01:16,727 So, is he the guy who... 26 00:01:17,042 --> 00:01:19,197 How shall I say this like a gentleman? 27 00:01:19,612 --> 00:01:21,518 Robin, did he take your maple leaf? 28 00:01:22,791 --> 00:01:24,277 No, it wasn't like that. 29 00:01:24,482 --> 00:01:27,857 Sounds to me like he gave you your first "O, Canada!" face. 30 00:01:28,741 --> 00:01:31,049 This went on for a really long time. 31 00:01:31,272 --> 00:01:33,369 Some of the jokes were elegant and well-crafted... 32 00:01:33,473 --> 00:01:37,788 Wait, wait. Did he break up with you and tell you he's just not that Inuit? 33 00:01:39,863 --> 00:01:41,737 ...others were crude, and ill-formed... 34 00:01:41,921 --> 00:01:44,479 Um, something about fur trapping. 35 00:01:45,532 --> 00:01:47,856 ...and others were obvious, but needed to be said... 36 00:01:48,014 --> 00:01:50,006 Did you ride his Zamboni? 37 00:01:52,544 --> 00:01:54,627 Wait, wait, wait. Did he...? 38 00:01:56,674 --> 00:01:57,429 I think I'm out. 39 00:01:58,224 --> 00:02:00,307 Yeah, I'm also "oot." 40 00:02:01,302 --> 00:02:03,149 Okay, now I'm really out. 41 00:02:03,621 --> 00:02:05,568 Well, I'm sorry, guys. It was all very tame. 42 00:02:05,673 --> 00:02:07,276 We only dated for a week and a half. 43 00:02:08,131 --> 00:02:09,988 I thought you said you were together all summer. 44 00:02:10,121 --> 00:02:13,299 Yeah. Summer in Canada is pretty much the last week of July. 45 00:02:13,403 --> 00:02:16,269 Anyway, one night, his band just finish playing this gig... 46 00:02:21,473 --> 00:02:22,997 Oh, my God! Simon. 47 00:02:23,902 --> 00:02:26,258 That was such a good show. 48 00:02:26,593 --> 00:02:28,986 You guys totally rocked out. 49 00:02:29,384 --> 00:02:31,089 Yeah. I know. 50 00:02:31,791 --> 00:02:34,637 I figure we're about four or five gigs away from really exploding. 51 00:02:35,962 --> 00:02:37,416 We're gonna be big, babe. 52 00:02:37,523 --> 00:02:39,268 I mean, like Crash Test Dummies big. 53 00:02:41,271 --> 00:02:43,596 - So, that everything? - Yeah. 54 00:02:46,731 --> 00:02:47,646 Listen, babe... 55 00:02:49,053 --> 00:02:50,319 It's over. 56 00:02:52,282 --> 00:02:52,988 What? 57 00:02:53,412 --> 00:02:55,409 I'm getting back together with Louise Marsh. 58 00:02:56,814 --> 00:02:58,437 Louise Marsh?! 59 00:02:58,543 --> 00:03:00,918 That's a whore's name if I ever heard one. 60 00:03:01,022 --> 00:03:03,998 Yeah, why would he want to get back together with Louise Marsh? 61 00:03:04,783 --> 00:03:06,456 Well, the thing is... 62 00:03:08,162 --> 00:03:09,796 her folks just put in a pool. 63 00:03:11,762 --> 00:03:14,049 Totally... I get it. 64 00:03:14,532 --> 00:03:17,177 Pools are great. Swimming's awesome. 65 00:03:18,924 --> 00:03:20,386 We have a sprinkler. 66 00:03:20,742 --> 00:03:22,178 Run right through it. 67 00:03:24,282 --> 00:03:25,557 Well, I should go. 68 00:03:28,941 --> 00:03:29,857 Babe, wait. 69 00:03:31,673 --> 00:03:32,527 Yeah, Simon? 70 00:03:33,442 --> 00:03:35,026 You forgot to load the drum set. 71 00:03:37,691 --> 00:03:40,157 Tell me you did not load the drum set. 72 00:03:40,843 --> 00:03:41,539 I did. 73 00:03:43,453 --> 00:03:45,389 And now he's coming here? Robin, 74 00:03:45,491 --> 00:03:46,956 why do you want to see this guy? 75 00:03:47,062 --> 00:03:49,297 Oh! I know why. 76 00:03:49,433 --> 00:03:50,799 You're gonna win, aren't you? 77 00:03:51,191 --> 00:03:53,679 I have no idea what you're talking about. 78 00:03:53,781 --> 00:03:55,967 Yes, you do. Whenever you haven't seen someone for a long time, 79 00:03:56,074 --> 00:03:57,666 no matter how much you want to deny it, there's always 80 00:03:57,771 --> 00:03:59,506 a clear winner and a clear loser. 81 00:04:00,052 --> 00:04:01,227 Well, since you brought it up, 82 00:04:01,334 --> 00:04:02,346 let's add up the points. 83 00:04:02,834 --> 00:04:04,559 You're starting out with two big ones right there. 84 00:04:05,234 --> 00:04:06,657 Thank you. Okay. 85 00:04:06,901 --> 00:04:08,737 So, Simon still lives with his mom. 86 00:04:08,843 --> 00:04:09,968 Point Robin. 87 00:04:10,144 --> 00:04:11,426 He never became a rock star. 88 00:04:11,533 --> 00:04:12,356 Point Robin. 89 00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:15,106 He now works at a water slide park outside of Ottawa. 90 00:04:15,484 --> 00:04:16,626 - Point Simon. - Wait. 91 00:04:17,703 --> 00:04:19,159 - Do they have a wave pool? - No. 92 00:04:19,363 --> 00:04:20,509 Ah. Point Robin. 93 00:04:20,613 --> 00:04:22,788 That's five-zip. There's no coming back from that. 94 00:04:22,992 --> 00:04:26,496 Yeah, he's going down. I mean, unless somehow, he got hotter. 95 00:04:28,662 --> 00:04:29,378 There he is. 96 00:04:29,831 --> 00:04:32,537 And sure enough, there was a clear winner, 97 00:04:32,881 --> 00:04:34,587 and a clear loser. 98 00:04:38,121 --> 00:04:40,099 It just wasn't clear to everybody. 99 00:04:40,861 --> 00:04:41,679 Hey, babe. 100 00:04:43,242 --> 00:04:44,508 Oh, my God. 101 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:48,539 Sync : MiniBen314 Proofreading : MiniBen314, Flovap 102 00:04:49,053 --> 00:04:52,398 Transcript : Raceman Resync : kabbage 103 00:04:52,803 --> 00:04:55,257 How I Met Your Mother 3x16 - Sandcastles In The Sand 104 00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,277 for the "Have You Met Team" for www.forom.com 105 00:05:00,816 --> 00:05:02,969 Okay, what the hell just happened? 106 00:05:03,295 --> 00:05:05,601 Oh, come on, it wasn't so bad, was it? 107 00:05:07,293 --> 00:05:10,430 - Hey, Simon. - Wow, look at you. 108 00:05:11,555 --> 00:05:12,518 You got old. 109 00:05:14,165 --> 00:05:16,891 Yeah. You look great. 110 00:05:17,104 --> 00:05:19,151 You got hotter, like that's possible. 111 00:05:22,283 --> 00:05:25,230 Look, I know it didn't go as planned, but, 112 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,541 I can't help it. 113 00:05:27,006 --> 00:05:28,000 I mean... 114 00:05:28,205 --> 00:05:29,038 he's still got it. 115 00:05:30,424 --> 00:05:32,420 Whoa! Four bucks for a brew? 116 00:05:32,843 --> 00:05:35,798 What a rip. Good think I'm packing. 117 00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:40,838 So he's not a snob. 118 00:05:41,214 --> 00:05:43,630 He's from a different part of Canada, you know? 119 00:05:43,735 --> 00:05:46,771 The maple leaf flag on the back of the pickup truck? 120 00:05:46,873 --> 00:05:49,679 He's Red Province. He's from the Deep North. 121 00:05:50,186 --> 00:05:52,848 The thing is, we gave you so many opportunities. 122 00:05:53,644 --> 00:05:56,979 So, Simon, Robin's a bit of a local celebrity here in New York. 123 00:05:57,596 --> 00:06:00,221 She's the lead anchor at Metro News One. 124 00:06:00,323 --> 00:06:02,568 - Tell him, Robin. - No. It's stupid. 125 00:06:02,673 --> 00:06:04,280 It's not cool, like Simon's shirt. 126 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:10,241 I'm sorry, Simon. Here we are nattering on about our big celebrity. 127 00:06:10,343 --> 00:06:11,499 What do you do for a living? 128 00:06:11,705 --> 00:06:14,170 Oh, I work at the Splish Splash Ottawa Water Slide Park. 129 00:06:15,334 --> 00:06:18,670 A water slide park. That sure is different than what Robin does. 130 00:06:18,876 --> 00:06:21,419 Yeah, it is... because I save lives. 131 00:06:22,833 --> 00:06:25,868 If I'm not sitting in that stool at the top of the slide, going... 132 00:06:26,514 --> 00:06:27,350 Go... 133 00:06:28,274 --> 00:06:29,089 Go... 134 00:06:29,913 --> 00:06:30,748 Go... 135 00:06:31,204 --> 00:06:32,101 people die. 136 00:06:33,623 --> 00:06:35,028 What, you think it's so easy? 137 00:06:35,346 --> 00:06:36,148 You try it. 138 00:06:39,143 --> 00:06:40,460 - Go. - You didn't put your hand up 139 00:06:40,565 --> 00:06:41,320 kid just died. 140 00:06:41,755 --> 00:06:43,330 - No, I didn't know... - Another kid just went, 141 00:06:43,435 --> 00:06:44,158 he died too. 142 00:06:44,603 --> 00:06:45,548 Oh, well, sure. I mean, if I was actually... 143 00:06:45,654 --> 00:06:47,008 Another kid just went, 144 00:06:47,110 --> 00:06:49,361 now you've got a pile-up and Robin's got something to report on the news. 145 00:06:49,458 --> 00:06:52,183 This just in: My friend, Ted, just killed a bunch of kids today. 146 00:06:54,067 --> 00:06:56,414 Well, that's cool. You got to pay the bills somehow 147 00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:59,340 since your whole music thing didn't really pan out, did it? 148 00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:01,359 Well, it hasn't panned out yet, but the band's still going. 149 00:07:01,933 --> 00:07:04,509 About four or five gigs away from really exploding. 150 00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,990 The Foreskins are still playing? 151 00:07:08,234 --> 00:07:09,528 The Foreskins? 152 00:07:10,423 --> 00:07:11,810 How'd you guys come up with that name? 153 00:07:13,374 --> 00:07:16,690 Well, there's four of us, and we play without shirts. 154 00:07:18,123 --> 00:07:19,768 Babe, seriously. 155 00:07:20,634 --> 00:07:22,299 I know. I'm sorry. 156 00:07:24,254 --> 00:07:25,819 I know. I'm sorry. 157 00:07:26,414 --> 00:07:28,710 But you guys just don't understand. 158 00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,638 The fact that he kept the band going... 159 00:07:30,743 --> 00:07:31,689 that's impressive. 160 00:07:31,925 --> 00:07:33,748 I mean, I gave up my musical dream. 161 00:07:34,233 --> 00:07:38,090 Which brings us to the most important piece of information from tonight. 162 00:07:40,044 --> 00:07:42,051 So, Simon, how did you guys meet? 163 00:07:42,255 --> 00:07:43,781 Oh, I was in her video. 164 00:07:43,883 --> 00:07:46,638 Starred in it is more like it. 165 00:07:46,743 --> 00:07:48,751 Once you win Mr. Teen Winnipeg, 166 00:07:48,794 --> 00:07:51,088 everybody wants a piece of the moneymaker. 167 00:07:52,146 --> 00:07:55,290 I'm sorry. I've seen "Let's Go to the Mall" about a thousand times, 168 00:07:55,395 --> 00:07:57,730 - and you, sir, are not in it. - No, I was in the other one. 169 00:07:58,815 --> 00:08:00,120 There's another video?! 170 00:08:05,335 --> 00:08:06,488 Robin, seriously, 171 00:08:07,106 --> 00:08:09,701 just make this easier on yourself and give us the tape. 172 00:08:11,983 --> 00:08:12,908 All right. 173 00:08:14,195 --> 00:08:15,659 You give me no choice. 174 00:08:15,993 --> 00:08:17,349 From this moment on, 175 00:08:17,454 --> 00:08:22,870 I will spend every waking minute searching down this tape. 176 00:08:22,976 --> 00:08:25,261 I will not sleep. I will not eat. 177 00:08:25,463 --> 00:08:30,428 My life will be a living hell of search engines and overseas phone calls, 178 00:08:30,955 --> 00:08:34,018 chasing down something that possibly can't be found. 179 00:08:35,386 --> 00:08:36,081 Okay. 180 00:08:37,925 --> 00:08:42,191 It's just... It was so hard to watch, Robin. You're usually so cool. 181 00:08:42,493 --> 00:08:44,409 I don't know what's wrong with me. 182 00:08:44,515 --> 00:08:47,858 I'm sitting next to Simon, and suddenly I'm 16 again. 183 00:08:48,063 --> 00:08:51,030 Oh, it's actually a common thing. When you're around someone from your past, 184 00:08:51,136 --> 00:08:53,371 you kind of revert back to who you were when you knew them. 185 00:08:53,884 --> 00:08:55,398 There's not really a name for it, though. 186 00:08:55,503 --> 00:08:56,480 It's called "revertigo." 187 00:08:56,583 --> 00:08:58,370 Yeah, I don't know about "revertigo." 188 00:08:59,194 --> 00:09:01,668 You know who gets really bad revertigo? 189 00:09:03,326 --> 00:09:05,921 Lily when she around her high school friend, Michelle. 190 00:09:06,376 --> 00:09:08,300 Michelle? She sounds hot. 191 00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:10,719 You don't know about Lily and Michelle? 192 00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,550 No. What about Lily and Michelle? 193 00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,641 Oh, my friend, you are in for a treat. 194 00:09:16,926 --> 00:09:18,418 - Hey, Lil? - What? 195 00:09:18,526 --> 00:09:21,228 You know, I was just thinking, we haven't seen your friend Michelle in a while. 196 00:09:21,434 --> 00:09:24,358 Oh, yeah. I'll give her a call, see if she wants to hang out. 197 00:09:28,064 --> 00:09:29,951 What... Do they make out? 198 00:09:30,213 --> 00:09:31,188 Better. 199 00:09:31,295 --> 00:09:32,931 - Comparable. - Comparable. 200 00:09:33,575 --> 00:09:35,581 Whatever. It's over. I lost. 201 00:09:36,906 --> 00:09:39,251 I guess you, uh, you don't get second chance. 202 00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:41,840 - I got a second chance. - What happened? 203 00:09:42,165 --> 00:09:43,381 He came by my place tonight... 204 00:09:45,176 --> 00:09:46,960 Simon. What are you doing here? 205 00:09:47,956 --> 00:09:50,261 I just feel like there's some unfinished business between you and me. 206 00:09:51,515 --> 00:09:52,670 Seeing you now... 207 00:09:54,324 --> 00:09:55,951 has made me realize that breaking up with you 208 00:09:56,056 --> 00:09:58,138 is the biggest mistake I made in my entire life. 209 00:09:58,344 --> 00:10:00,289 Oh, I like where this is going. 210 00:10:01,626 --> 00:10:03,158 I know this is crazy, 211 00:10:03,263 --> 00:10:05,818 and I'm only in town for a couple of days, but, 212 00:10:06,243 --> 00:10:07,269 do you want to go on a date? 213 00:10:07,473 --> 00:10:10,951 He asked you out?! Oh, step into my web, Simon. 214 00:10:11,055 --> 00:10:12,029 The coup de grace. 215 00:10:12,233 --> 00:10:13,451 Finish him! 216 00:10:15,284 --> 00:10:17,160 I'd love to! 217 00:10:25,076 --> 00:10:27,033 Wait. You're going on a date with Simon? 218 00:10:27,516 --> 00:10:29,244 That Simon? The one we met? 219 00:10:29,449 --> 00:10:31,874 Robin, this guy doesn't deserve a second chance. 220 00:10:31,976 --> 00:10:33,962 Not after the way he treated you. 221 00:10:34,169 --> 00:10:36,781 That was ten years ago. People evolve. 222 00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,963 I mean, are you the same person that you were in high school? 223 00:10:40,586 --> 00:10:43,681 - Oh, hell, no! - I think you're gonna enjoy this. 224 00:10:44,217 --> 00:10:45,471 That my girl Michelle? 225 00:10:45,579 --> 00:10:48,183 - Bitch, you know it! - How she livin'? 226 00:10:48,288 --> 00:10:51,883 She living only way she know how to. Large! 227 00:10:51,989 --> 00:10:54,144 Oh, girl, you gots to get your drink on up in there. 228 00:10:54,348 --> 00:10:57,232 I'm hoping my fat ass can hustle me up a vodka-Gatorade. 229 00:10:57,338 --> 00:10:59,051 Fo' reals. 230 00:11:02,789 --> 00:11:05,453 I want her around all the time. 231 00:11:05,729 --> 00:11:08,623 I'd even consider not trying to sleep with her if that's what it takes. 232 00:11:10,259 --> 00:11:12,413 Guys, I've decided to seduce Michelle. 233 00:11:22,609 --> 00:11:24,512 Guys, that was great. Let's take five. 234 00:11:24,719 --> 00:11:28,012 Hey, babe, did you like it after my bass solo when I flicked my pick at you? 235 00:11:28,117 --> 00:11:29,083 That rocked. 236 00:11:31,197 --> 00:11:33,004 Uh, 'cause I'm gonna need that pick back. 237 00:11:33,539 --> 00:11:35,793 Oh, uh, sure. Um... 238 00:11:35,997 --> 00:11:38,052 - It's cool. You'll find it later. - Oh, cool. 239 00:11:38,377 --> 00:11:40,131 I wish I didn't have to go to work in the morning. 240 00:11:40,339 --> 00:11:41,554 But, babe, you got to go to work. 241 00:11:42,276 --> 00:11:43,862 You got to play our demo on your show. 242 00:11:44,168 --> 00:11:46,813 Oh, well, you know, it's not a show. It's the news. 243 00:11:47,018 --> 00:11:49,981 Right. So you can be, like, "Hey, did you hear there's some news? 244 00:11:50,089 --> 00:11:52,813 There's this rad band you guys should check out." And then play it. 245 00:11:53,819 --> 00:11:55,524 Or just, like, the first three songs. 246 00:11:57,047 --> 00:11:59,223 And now it's time for "Puppy Corner," 247 00:11:59,329 --> 00:12:02,062 some little angels looking for a new home, 248 00:12:02,169 --> 00:12:04,314 courtesy of the Midtown Animal Shelter. 249 00:12:04,558 --> 00:12:11,064 *Murder Climb aboard the Murder Train* 250 00:12:12,527 --> 00:12:18,552 *Murder Climb aboard the Murder Train* 251 00:12:19,986 --> 00:12:22,794 Hey, a lot of puppies got adopted. 252 00:12:23,337 --> 00:12:25,183 Of course, a lot of the people calling in 253 00:12:25,289 --> 00:12:26,603 thought we were going to kill them. 254 00:12:27,057 --> 00:12:30,533 Robin, your revertigo is really starting to affect your work. 255 00:12:30,638 --> 00:12:31,562 What's revertigo? 256 00:12:31,768 --> 00:12:33,394 It's a stupid, made-up word with no meaning. 257 00:12:33,666 --> 00:12:37,134 No. It's a phenomenon where, when you're around people from your past, 258 00:12:37,237 --> 00:12:38,871 you start behaving like them. 259 00:12:38,976 --> 00:12:42,601 Oh. One example of that springs to mind. 260 00:12:42,707 --> 00:12:44,111 I think we all know what it is. 261 00:12:45,766 --> 00:12:46,641 You do? 262 00:12:46,747 --> 00:12:48,163 Yeah. Ted. 263 00:12:48,479 --> 00:12:49,172 Me? 264 00:12:49,276 --> 00:12:51,483 Whenever Ted's friend Punchy comes into town, 265 00:12:51,588 --> 00:12:54,391 it's like, all of a sudden, Ted's in high school again. 266 00:12:54,499 --> 00:12:59,214 Okay, okay. First of all, his name is Adam Punciarello, and I don't do that. 267 00:13:02,378 --> 00:13:03,803 Ooh. That must be Adam. 268 00:13:07,717 --> 00:13:08,892 - 'Sup, Punchy? - 'Sup, Shmosby?! 269 00:13:09,097 --> 00:13:10,612 - You want to go? - I'm already there! 270 00:13:10,719 --> 00:13:11,683 - Come on! - This is it! 271 00:13:13,399 --> 00:13:15,561 Dude, seriously, I'm sorry about your dad. 272 00:13:16,226 --> 00:13:17,922 Yeah, it was a real shock. 273 00:13:19,516 --> 00:13:21,281 I can't believe you, of all people, are saying this. 274 00:13:21,597 --> 00:13:22,292 Why? 275 00:13:23,038 --> 00:13:23,802 No reason. 276 00:13:24,659 --> 00:13:26,461 Robin, the point is, 277 00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:29,072 what are you doing? I mean, this guy? 278 00:13:29,616 --> 00:13:30,783 Okay, you want the truth? 279 00:13:32,146 --> 00:13:33,324 I like Simon. 280 00:13:33,699 --> 00:13:35,751 I do. We have fun together. 281 00:13:35,958 --> 00:13:38,633 We know you do, honey, but we're worried about you. 282 00:13:39,157 --> 00:13:41,482 You're worried? Okay, hold on. 283 00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:43,362 Is there any version of this conversation 284 00:13:43,469 --> 00:13:45,132 where you guys don't sound like my parents? 285 00:13:45,747 --> 00:13:46,482 I don't know. 286 00:13:46,589 --> 00:13:49,142 Is there any version where you don't sound like a 16-year-old? 287 00:13:49,779 --> 00:13:51,862 That's exactly what my mom would say. 288 00:13:52,228 --> 00:13:56,602 No. If I was your mom, I would say, "We forbid you from seeing this boy." 289 00:13:58,057 --> 00:13:59,981 No, I'm sorry, but it's for your own good. 290 00:14:00,189 --> 00:14:01,682 This is my life! 291 00:14:01,789 --> 00:14:04,491 You guys just don't get it! You've never felt the way that I feel! 292 00:14:04,699 --> 00:14:06,991 No, no. We were once young and in love, too. 293 00:14:07,768 --> 00:14:10,124 Yeah, like, a billion years ago. 294 00:14:10,746 --> 00:14:12,832 You've been drinking, haven't you? 295 00:14:13,449 --> 00:14:15,124 Yeah, we all have. You bought the last round. 296 00:14:16,339 --> 00:14:17,622 You're not going to that show tonight! 297 00:14:17,827 --> 00:14:19,822 Oh, yes, I am, and you know what else? 298 00:14:19,928 --> 00:14:23,352 Tonight, after the show, Simon and I are going all the way! 299 00:14:23,457 --> 00:14:25,463 Young lady, get back here! 300 00:14:26,776 --> 00:14:28,264 Thanks for your help. 301 00:14:29,818 --> 00:14:32,351 - Hey, so, today at work... - Not now, Ted! 302 00:14:39,599 --> 00:14:42,162 Hey, Simon. Great show. 303 00:14:42,458 --> 00:14:44,484 - You guys still rock. - Yeah. 304 00:14:44,688 --> 00:14:46,541 They totally dug my bass solo. 305 00:14:47,609 --> 00:14:48,322 Man! 306 00:14:49,427 --> 00:14:51,664 Why can't I always feel this alive?! 307 00:14:52,729 --> 00:14:55,993 God, I just love seeing you so happy. 308 00:14:56,389 --> 00:14:58,732 Yeah. About that. 309 00:14:59,486 --> 00:15:00,572 Listen, babe. 310 00:15:01,569 --> 00:15:02,421 It's over. 311 00:15:02,828 --> 00:15:03,632 What? 312 00:15:04,006 --> 00:15:05,883 I'm getting back together with Louise Marsh. 313 00:15:06,658 --> 00:15:09,221 What? You're kidding me. 314 00:15:11,108 --> 00:15:12,054 You're breaking up with me? 315 00:15:13,097 --> 00:15:13,794 Again? 316 00:15:13,899 --> 00:15:17,472 F-For the same ex-girlfriend? In the same van? 317 00:15:17,579 --> 00:15:19,404 What is it? Her-Her parents got a pool? 318 00:15:19,506 --> 00:15:20,773 Is that still the reason? 319 00:15:22,176 --> 00:15:23,383 Well... 320 00:15:23,898 --> 00:15:25,921 her folks did just put in a Jacuz. 321 00:15:32,160 --> 00:15:33,164 I'm sorry, Robin. 322 00:15:33,369 --> 00:15:34,452 I'm fine, really. 323 00:15:34,560 --> 00:15:37,833 Oh, Robin, I'm gonna tell you fo' real. Simon's a dawg. 324 00:15:37,939 --> 00:15:41,512 - You feel me, Chelle? - Mm-hmm, fo' reals. 325 00:15:41,618 --> 00:15:43,972 - He a scrub. - Mm. True dat. 326 00:15:44,079 --> 00:15:46,244 I'm get me my champagne and grape soda on. 327 00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:50,345 So, how's Columbia? 328 00:15:50,450 --> 00:15:51,342 Great! 329 00:15:51,448 --> 00:15:53,643 I'm almost done with my dissertation. 330 00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:55,975 I'm getting a PhD in behavioral psychology. 331 00:15:57,719 --> 00:15:59,192 Can I make an observation? 332 00:15:59,507 --> 00:16:00,394 I know. 333 00:16:00,649 --> 00:16:03,834 Whenever I'm around Lily, she just brings out that side of me. 334 00:16:03,938 --> 00:16:05,982 There's a psychological term for the phenomenon. 335 00:16:05,990 --> 00:16:07,225 - Revertigo? - No. 336 00:16:07,327 --> 00:16:09,113 Actually, it's associative regression. 337 00:16:09,319 --> 00:16:11,785 You see, the neural pathways that... 338 00:16:12,377 --> 00:16:16,474 Oh, no, you did not just put on my jam! 339 00:16:16,677 --> 00:16:18,462 Oh. Put your hands up, girl! 340 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,692 One by one, we all had to go home. 341 00:16:27,559 --> 00:16:29,405 Soon, it was just Robin. 342 00:16:38,018 --> 00:16:40,423 All right. I can't find your video. 343 00:16:40,529 --> 00:16:42,455 I've wasted three days tr... 344 00:16:44,218 --> 00:16:45,413 What's the matter? 345 00:16:49,090 --> 00:16:53,305 Simon dumped me in his van after the show. 346 00:16:53,967 --> 00:16:56,475 Yeah, Robin, that was, like, ten years ago. 347 00:16:57,097 --> 00:16:58,073 No, tonight. 348 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,475 Really? 349 00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:05,643 Oh, come here. 350 00:17:07,430 --> 00:17:09,243 Come here. 351 00:17:10,919 --> 00:17:12,504 It's just... 352 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,693 when I was young, I was so... 353 00:17:15,798 --> 00:17:18,372 vulnerable and-and open to things, you know? 354 00:17:19,447 --> 00:17:20,403 And... 355 00:17:20,748 --> 00:17:22,262 I guess I just... 356 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,555 I wanted to feel that way again. 357 00:17:25,879 --> 00:17:28,543 I wanted to be 16 again. 358 00:17:28,957 --> 00:17:29,792 Robin, 359 00:17:30,578 --> 00:17:33,433 that is the stupidest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth. 360 00:17:33,889 --> 00:17:36,015 You want to be 16 again? 361 00:17:36,119 --> 00:17:39,514 I have watched your first Robin Sparkles video 1,000 times, 362 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,305 and it's not because I'm proud of you as a friend. 363 00:17:42,410 --> 00:17:45,705 It's because you were totally, totally lame back then. 364 00:17:46,630 --> 00:17:48,774 But now, come on. Pa-cow! 365 00:17:48,879 --> 00:17:51,445 You're the most awesome person I have ever known. 366 00:17:51,548 --> 00:17:53,163 Well, second most awesome. 367 00:17:53,270 --> 00:17:55,884 Right. Of course, the-the first being you. 368 00:17:55,990 --> 00:17:56,704 No. 369 00:17:56,987 --> 00:18:01,083 No. The first is this guy who lives in a place called the mirror. 370 00:18:01,187 --> 00:18:02,705 What up. 371 00:18:03,970 --> 00:18:05,505 I'm saying 372 00:18:05,909 --> 00:18:09,674 that you are way more awesome than Simon ever will be. 373 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:16,383 Barney, do you want to come back to my place? 374 00:18:17,258 --> 00:18:18,055 Your place? 375 00:18:28,077 --> 00:18:30,904 - Are you sure you want to do this? - Yeah. I am. 376 00:18:31,940 --> 00:18:33,444 Let's just not tell anyone about this, okay? 377 00:18:33,647 --> 00:18:34,523 Of course. 378 00:18:37,489 --> 00:18:39,493 So, should I just put it in? 379 00:18:40,630 --> 00:18:41,343 Yeah, why not? 380 00:18:56,208 --> 00:18:59,424 *Met you at the mall...* 381 00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:03,973 This was my big artistic follow-up to "Let's Go to the Mall." 382 00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:07,023 It kind of tanked. 383 00:19:07,510 --> 00:19:10,353 *My friends said I was a fool* 384 00:19:11,149 --> 00:19:12,982 - *You're a fool. - Shut up!* 385 00:19:13,087 --> 00:19:14,912 - Is that Tiffany? - Mm-hmm. 386 00:19:15,020 --> 00:19:17,855 *'Cause you were older and got kicked out of school* 387 00:19:17,960 --> 00:19:19,373 *You are so rad.* 388 00:19:19,477 --> 00:19:24,153 *Together we were gonna travel the globe* 389 00:19:24,378 --> 00:19:30,043 *From Alberta to Ontario* 390 00:19:30,577 --> 00:19:32,933 It's everything I want it to be and more. 391 00:19:33,038 --> 00:19:34,293 - Oh, I'm so glad. - *And now I'm building...* 392 00:19:34,499 --> 00:19:37,702 *Sandcastles in the sand* 393 00:19:37,808 --> 00:19:40,312 *Sandcastles in the sand* 394 00:19:40,690 --> 00:19:44,674 *Thought I could fly when you held my hand* 395 00:19:44,779 --> 00:19:46,612 - *Thought I could fly - But now...* 396 00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:50,774 *Eternity returns to black and white...* 397 00:19:51,478 --> 00:19:53,064 Is that Alan Thicke? 398 00:19:53,298 --> 00:19:56,912 *It was the greatest week and a half...* 399 00:19:57,018 --> 00:20:01,862 *Of my life We used to go to the beach* 400 00:20:02,279 --> 00:20:05,183 You know, if you reedit it, there's a tampon commercial in here somewhere. 401 00:20:06,437 --> 00:20:11,584 *On our favorite bench* 402 00:20:11,879 --> 00:20:17,965 *We'd sit and talk and you taught me to french* 403 00:20:18,169 --> 00:20:19,924 *You're good at...* 404 00:20:20,030 --> 00:20:22,042 Do you see how lame you were back then? 405 00:20:22,147 --> 00:20:25,125 - Yeah, you're right. I was lame. - Totally lame. 406 00:20:25,229 --> 00:20:27,802 *...so unfair...* 407 00:20:27,909 --> 00:20:30,353 *You don't understand about love.* 408 00:20:31,189 --> 00:20:34,884 And, of course, the robot makes an appearance in the sad love ballad. 409 00:20:34,988 --> 00:20:37,023 He was my sidekick. He had to be. 410 00:20:37,228 --> 00:20:38,445 And so they watched it again. 411 00:20:39,147 --> 00:20:41,404 *Its crazy,* 412 00:20:41,609 --> 00:20:44,284 *no one gets me* 413 00:20:44,489 --> 00:20:48,672 *Let's go all the way* 414 00:20:48,778 --> 00:20:51,043 *I love you. Let's do it.* 415 00:20:54,787 --> 00:20:56,123 *I miss you.* 416 00:20:56,838 --> 00:20:58,035 And again. 417 00:20:58,137 --> 00:21:01,634 *Sandcastles may be cute I'm on the pill now.* 418 00:21:01,837 --> 00:21:02,544 *But now...* 419 00:21:02,649 --> 00:21:03,705 And again. 420 00:21:03,810 --> 00:21:06,452 *all they do is remind me of you...* 421 00:21:06,557 --> 00:21:09,103 They watched it over and over that night until finally, 422 00:21:10,008 --> 00:21:11,423 they stopped watching.