1 00:00:02,583 --> 00:00:05,143 Barney is crazy if he thinks this is gonna work. 2 00:00:05,253 --> 00:00:07,279 - I think it's gonna work. - I hope it doesn't work. 3 00:00:07,389 --> 00:00:09,357 Here he comes. 4 00:00:12,896 --> 00:00:15,160 - You there, what's your name? - Excuse me? 5 00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,597 Your name, woman, what's your name? 6 00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:19,862 - Cindy. - I knew it. 7 00:00:19,970 --> 00:00:21,267 You're the Cindy, 8 00:00:21,372 --> 00:00:26,367 the one who can change everything, or spell our inevitable doom. 9 00:00:26,478 --> 00:00:28,275 Now listen to me, Cindy. 10 00:00:28,380 --> 00:00:32,977 I am Barney Stinson, and I am on an urgent mission from the future. 11 00:00:33,085 --> 00:00:36,077 - The future? - The future, and I can prove it to you. 12 00:00:36,189 --> 00:00:37,520 In exactly four seconds, 13 00:00:37,623 --> 00:00:40,115 the woman at that booth is going to slap that man. 14 00:00:43,230 --> 00:00:45,130 Ow! What the hell? 15 00:00:45,232 --> 00:00:47,030 - Wow! - In a few minutes, 16 00:00:47,135 --> 00:00:52,232 the young me from your time is going to come through that door. 17 00:00:52,340 --> 00:00:58,246 Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane, but in order to save the planet, 18 00:00:58,347 --> 00:01:01,647 you need to sleep with him tonight. 19 00:01:01,751 --> 00:01:05,152 - What? I... - Sleep with Barney Stinson tonight, 20 00:01:05,255 --> 00:01:07,383 in whatever way he wants it, 21 00:01:07,492 --> 00:01:10,893 or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming 22 00:01:10,995 --> 00:01:12,860 that saves the human race. 23 00:01:12,964 --> 00:01:15,957 - What are you talking about? - I have no time to explain. 24 00:01:16,068 --> 00:01:20,369 I have to get back to the reality accelerator before the vortex closes. 25 00:01:21,140 --> 00:01:25,133 Only you can save us, Cindy. I must away! 26 00:01:26,613 --> 00:01:29,640 Okay, guys, the movers are coming in 14 hours. 27 00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:31,547 We've got to get back upstairs and finish packing. 28 00:01:31,652 --> 00:01:35,089 You guys still aren't finished packing? How is this taking so long? 29 00:01:35,190 --> 00:01:38,626 Hey, all the great memories of our 20s took place in that apartment. 30 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,696 It's not like throwing stuff in a box. You start to reminisce. 31 00:01:41,797 --> 00:01:44,527 Not me. The key? Throw stuff out, never look back. 32 00:01:44,634 --> 00:01:46,932 I'm moving to Japan. It took me a half hour to pack. 33 00:01:47,036 --> 00:01:49,232 - A half hour? - Well, it would have taken me 20 minutes, 34 00:01:49,339 --> 00:01:51,102 but a friend called me in tears. 35 00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:56,374 - Moving is really emotional, okay? - It is. I mean, everything is changing. 36 00:01:56,481 --> 00:01:58,039 I'm gonna be living in New Jersey with Stella, 37 00:01:58,149 --> 00:01:59,411 you guys will be in your new place. 38 00:01:59,517 --> 00:02:01,952 - You're starting a new job in Tokyo. - Hmm. 39 00:02:02,054 --> 00:02:04,079 I mean, it's the end of an era. 40 00:02:04,189 --> 00:02:06,783 I think we should have a toast, but not our usual crap. 41 00:02:06,892 --> 00:02:10,124 Hey, Wendy, your most expensive bottle of Scotch. 42 00:02:10,230 --> 00:02:14,189 That's 50-year-old Glen McKenna, and it's $2,500. 43 00:02:14,302 --> 00:02:17,032 Excellent. A bottle of that with beer chasers, 44 00:02:17,138 --> 00:02:20,369 - and what do you think, cancel the Scotch? - Yeah. 45 00:02:21,443 --> 00:02:24,742 - Vodka rocks. - It's not gonna work. 46 00:02:24,846 --> 00:02:30,410 Oh, my God! You're... Oh, my God! Can I buy you a drink? 47 00:02:32,021 --> 00:02:36,015 Oh. Yeah, I suppose I have time for one drink 48 00:02:36,126 --> 00:02:38,617 and 45 minutes to an hour of some other activity, 49 00:02:38,729 --> 00:02:39,991 but after that, I have to get back 50 00:02:40,097 --> 00:02:43,192 to a top-secret research project I'm working on. 51 00:02:44,035 --> 00:02:48,700 - Global warming? - My God! How did you know that? 52 00:03:03,324 --> 00:03:04,655 Hey, look at this. 53 00:03:04,759 --> 00:03:07,319 A photo from the first day we moved into this place. 54 00:03:09,365 --> 00:03:10,832 So many great memories. 55 00:03:10,933 --> 00:03:14,869 See? That is exactly the type of crap you should be trashing. 56 00:03:14,970 --> 00:03:16,905 So you don't keep any photos? 57 00:03:17,007 --> 00:03:20,534 No, they're like love letters or yearbooks or someone's ashes. 58 00:03:20,644 --> 00:03:22,203 They just take up space. 59 00:03:22,313 --> 00:03:24,804 Besides, Stella's not gonna let you keep half of this junk. 60 00:03:24,915 --> 00:03:26,143 Why wouldn't she? 61 00:03:27,618 --> 00:03:29,416 Oh, Ted, oh, sweetie. 62 00:03:29,521 --> 00:03:33,651 Okay, here's the thing that guys only learn after they move in with a woman. 63 00:03:33,759 --> 00:03:36,558 - All of your stuff is stupid. - Like what? 64 00:03:36,829 --> 00:03:40,390 Um... Like anything you bought at a Renaissance fair. 65 00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:44,870 Hey, there's not enough mead in the world to make me get rid of my flail. 66 00:03:45,372 --> 00:03:48,705 Oh, hey, Ted, since we're clearly not getting our security deposit back, 67 00:03:48,810 --> 00:03:50,971 I thought maybe you could reimburse me for my half. 68 00:03:51,079 --> 00:03:53,639 Wait a second. Why should I have to pay more than you? 69 00:03:53,748 --> 00:03:55,079 Because you treated this apartment 70 00:03:55,183 --> 00:03:57,846 the way John Bonham treated his central nervous system. 71 00:03:57,953 --> 00:04:00,786 - That's not true. - Exhibit A. 72 00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,120 - Hey. - Hey. 73 00:04:05,228 --> 00:04:09,165 - What's that? - A 1986 World Book Encyclopaedia. 74 00:04:09,267 --> 00:04:12,634 - It's exactly the one I grew up with. - Encyclo-pay-dia? 75 00:04:12,737 --> 00:04:16,230 Oh. You think it should be pronounced encyclo-pee-dia. 76 00:04:16,341 --> 00:04:17,740 It's a common mistake. 77 00:04:17,843 --> 00:04:21,802 But if you look up that squished together "A-E" symbol in this here encyclopaedia, 78 00:04:21,914 --> 00:04:26,045 you'll learn that it's a ligature derived from the Anglo-Saxon rune ash... 79 00:04:32,626 --> 00:04:34,890 You know, you're gonna have to pay-dia for that. 80 00:04:36,431 --> 00:04:40,026 But you never did. And then, there's Exhibit B. 81 00:04:44,340 --> 00:04:48,538 Good morrow, fair gentles. Look what I won at the Renaissance Faire. 82 00:04:53,250 --> 00:04:55,548 And you're also responsible for any damage Robin did 83 00:04:55,652 --> 00:04:59,180 - while she was your girlfriend. - Whoa! What damage did I cause? 84 00:04:59,491 --> 00:05:01,322 Do you remember that night when you drank the 12er of Molson 85 00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:03,657 and you got all super-Canadian? 86 00:05:06,565 --> 00:05:09,125 Stanley Cup, Game 6, eh? 87 00:05:09,235 --> 00:05:13,229 The Rangers are about to be sorry they ever played shinny with the Canucks. 88 00:05:13,340 --> 00:05:14,807 Hey. Hey, Robin. - Yeah? 89 00:05:14,908 --> 00:05:17,036 I'll give you 20 bucks if you can shoot it through this front door. 90 00:05:18,446 --> 00:05:21,609 You're nuttier than a Tim Horton's maple log. 91 00:05:21,816 --> 00:05:23,181 Timmy Ho! 92 00:05:24,686 --> 00:05:26,881 That's it, Robin. Give me the stick. 93 00:05:28,056 --> 00:05:32,118 I'll give you summer teeth. Some are here, some are there. 94 00:05:32,529 --> 00:05:34,588 Robin, give me the stick. 95 00:05:34,697 --> 00:05:37,098 - Take off, hoser. Whoa! 96 00:05:37,201 --> 00:05:38,725 - That's it! - Hey, hey! 97 00:05:38,836 --> 00:05:40,770 - Get her, boys, get her! - You want to scrap? I'll scrap! 98 00:05:40,871 --> 00:05:43,066 - Guys, come on! - Go America! 99 00:05:43,174 --> 00:05:46,508 All right. All right, break it, break it up! 100 00:05:46,611 --> 00:05:52,482 Ted, no! You never break up a girl fight! Never! 101 00:05:55,755 --> 00:06:00,693 Entirely Barney's fault. As, by the way, is the big scorch mark over the fireplace. 102 00:06:03,197 --> 00:06:05,826 Kids, to understand the story of the scorch mark, 103 00:06:05,934 --> 00:06:09,426 I first need to tell you the story of the intervention for our friend Stuart. 104 00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:13,804 - What's going on? - Stuart, this is an intervention. 105 00:06:15,377 --> 00:06:20,145 "The alcohol changes you, Stuart. It makes you a different person. 106 00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:23,276 "And I'm in love with the man that I married. " 107 00:06:24,055 --> 00:06:25,352 Thank you. 108 00:06:26,257 --> 00:06:30,626 This is just the push I need. I love you guys. 109 00:06:32,231 --> 00:06:35,997 Hey, hey! There's the birthday boy. 110 00:06:36,101 --> 00:06:39,697 Time to let the party monster out of its cage, Stewie! 111 00:06:39,806 --> 00:06:42,468 - No! - Come on, buddy. 112 00:06:42,809 --> 00:06:45,108 People don't want to see Bruce Banner, dude. 113 00:06:45,212 --> 00:06:49,876 They want to see the Hulk. Hulk. Hulk. Hulk. What? 114 00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:52,678 Oh. 115 00:06:56,758 --> 00:06:59,523 That's what I get for skimming the Evite. 116 00:07:00,730 --> 00:07:04,188 Later that day, we celebrated our first successful intervention. 117 00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:06,735 I'm really proud of us for helping Stuart. 118 00:07:06,837 --> 00:07:10,102 Yeah, what an amazing, honest, human moment. 119 00:07:10,207 --> 00:07:12,233 I agree. Yay us. 120 00:07:12,710 --> 00:07:15,508 Marshall, are you really gonna keep wearing that hat? 121 00:07:15,613 --> 00:07:17,547 Yeah, it's been two weeks, Marshall. 122 00:07:17,649 --> 00:07:22,553 Two awesome weeks. And heck, yeah, I'm gonna keep wearing it. 123 00:07:29,496 --> 00:07:31,361 - Hey. - Marshall, 124 00:07:33,034 --> 00:07:35,059 this is an intervention. 125 00:07:35,603 --> 00:07:41,804 - It's about the hat. - What? No. I have it under control, okay? 126 00:07:42,544 --> 00:07:44,876 I can take it off whenever I want. 127 00:07:46,015 --> 00:07:48,313 "Dear Marshall, 128 00:07:48,418 --> 00:07:53,584 "I do not like that stupid hat. I want to beat it with a bat. 129 00:07:53,691 --> 00:07:58,720 "Or maybe stab it with a fork. It makes you look like such a dork. " 130 00:07:59,497 --> 00:08:01,124 After that, interventions became a 131 00:08:01,232 --> 00:08:02,927 pretty regular thing around our apartment. 132 00:08:06,739 --> 00:08:09,139 Cor blimey. 133 00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:11,903 This is a nice bloody surprise. What's this about, then? 134 00:08:12,446 --> 00:08:16,576 Lily, it's about the weird, fake English accent. 135 00:08:17,651 --> 00:08:18,880 Bollocks. 136 00:08:20,588 --> 00:08:21,577 I think we should... 137 00:08:25,326 --> 00:08:26,692 Spray tan? 138 00:08:29,531 --> 00:08:31,999 They reel you in with a coupon, and then you just get hooked. 139 00:08:32,101 --> 00:08:36,471 Oh, we know, sweetie, we know. No, no, no, no, this is a new sweater. 140 00:08:40,044 --> 00:08:42,740 - What? - The magic tricks. 141 00:08:42,847 --> 00:08:47,046 - Specifically, those involving fire. - Magic tricks? 142 00:08:47,152 --> 00:08:50,087 Guys, interventions are supposed to help people, 143 00:08:50,188 --> 00:08:53,681 not attack every little thing you don't like about them. 144 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:58,397 I'm sorry, but that really steams me. That really burns me up! 145 00:08:59,299 --> 00:09:03,827 I mean, I am filled with a white-hot rage! 146 00:09:09,677 --> 00:09:11,167 Thank you. 147 00:09:13,349 --> 00:09:15,214 - Oh, shoot. - I smell hair! I smell hair! 148 00:09:15,317 --> 00:09:17,410 And that's the story of the scorch mark. 149 00:09:18,154 --> 00:09:19,280 Wait, that's weird. 150 00:09:19,388 --> 00:09:23,655 When I was going through the closet, I thought I saw the intervention banner. 151 00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:24,852 So? 152 00:09:24,961 --> 00:09:28,295 So, the banner burned up. Why is there a new one? 153 00:09:28,399 --> 00:09:32,358 And there are sealed letters here from all of you that say "Ted. " 154 00:09:32,804 --> 00:09:35,205 Were you guys planning an intervention for me? 155 00:09:35,307 --> 00:09:38,640 Oh, that. That was stupid. Yeah, just forget about that. 156 00:09:38,744 --> 00:09:40,940 What was it for? The Crocs? 157 00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:44,076 - The hair product? - Not Stella. 158 00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:47,547 Oh, my God, this was about Stella. 159 00:09:47,655 --> 00:09:53,492 I just said "Not Stella. " So maybe it was about your poor listening skills, Ted. 160 00:09:53,595 --> 00:09:55,961 - What? - It's out of control. See? 161 00:09:56,932 --> 00:09:59,799 You guys don't think I should marry Stella. 162 00:10:03,239 --> 00:10:05,002 You guys don't think I should marry Stella. 163 00:10:05,108 --> 00:10:07,907 Ted, we do. We're all really happy for you. 164 00:10:08,011 --> 00:10:11,469 - Yeah, like I said, it was stupid. - Well, obviously, it wasn't, 165 00:10:11,582 --> 00:10:13,744 because we agreed not to have any more stupid interventions 166 00:10:13,852 --> 00:10:15,046 at our intervention intervention. 167 00:10:17,155 --> 00:10:19,214 We're having too many interventions. 168 00:10:20,426 --> 00:10:24,021 So, what was your big, serious problem with me and Stella? 169 00:10:24,697 --> 00:10:28,065 Yes! Yes! In everyone's face! 170 00:10:28,168 --> 00:10:30,159 You all said the future-Barney thing wouldn't work. 171 00:10:30,270 --> 00:10:34,765 You told me I was crazy. My shrink told me I was crazy. 172 00:10:34,876 --> 00:10:39,176 Well, who's the narcissist with severe attachment disorder now, Dr. Grossbard? 173 00:10:41,717 --> 00:10:44,652 - Intervention banner? What's that for? - Stella. 174 00:10:44,753 --> 00:10:45,720 Oh. 175 00:10:47,857 --> 00:10:51,520 - "Ted, I cannot stand idly by... " - You've just been carrying that around? 176 00:10:51,628 --> 00:10:55,224 Please, Ted? "I cannot stand idly by 177 00:10:55,332 --> 00:10:59,769 "while you make the biggest mistake any man can make. Getting married. 178 00:10:59,870 --> 00:11:05,707 "Mark my words, this whole thing is gonna go up in flames!" 179 00:11:06,611 --> 00:11:09,809 Oh, damn! I put the flame cue too early. 180 00:11:09,916 --> 00:11:11,975 I had so many more important things to say, and... 181 00:11:12,084 --> 00:11:17,113 The point is, Ted, marriage is stupid. 182 00:11:18,091 --> 00:11:23,792 Every year, there are a million new, hot 22-year-olds walking into bars, 183 00:11:23,898 --> 00:11:27,926 and call me "glass-half-full," but I think they're getting dumber. 184 00:11:28,337 --> 00:11:29,497 Oh, come on, Barney, 185 00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:33,666 even you aren't still gonna be hitting on 22-year-olds when you're 80. 186 00:11:33,776 --> 00:11:36,507 - I accept that challenge. - What challenge? 187 00:11:36,613 --> 00:11:41,779 To prove to you that I will be exactly this awesome when I'm 80, 188 00:11:41,886 --> 00:11:46,482 I will hook up with a 22-year-old while in my old-man makeup. 189 00:11:47,258 --> 00:11:50,023 I didn't remotely challenge you to that. 190 00:11:50,128 --> 00:11:54,656 I mean, I definitely want to see it. But I didn't remotely challenge you to that. 191 00:11:54,766 --> 00:11:57,998 - I want to hear the other letters. - Ted, this is ridiculous. 192 00:11:58,104 --> 00:12:01,437 - We changed our minds. - And suppose you change them back? 193 00:12:01,541 --> 00:12:03,840 Lily, come on, let's hear yours. 194 00:12:08,015 --> 00:12:11,383 "Gilbert's reading skills have improved drastically since... " 195 00:12:11,486 --> 00:12:16,015 Wait, this is a letter I meant to send home with one of my kindergarteners. 196 00:12:16,292 --> 00:12:17,281 Uh-oh. 197 00:12:17,393 --> 00:12:21,831 Gilbert, are things moving too fast between you and a girl named Stella? 198 00:12:22,466 --> 00:12:23,626 I wish. 199 00:12:27,471 --> 00:12:29,463 Robin, could I hear yours? 200 00:12:35,246 --> 00:12:39,081 "Dear Ted, it's encyclo-pee-dia, not encyclo-pay-dia. 201 00:12:39,184 --> 00:12:42,245 "Why do you always say things in the most pretentious way possible? 202 00:12:42,355 --> 00:12:46,849 "It makes you sound douchey, and that's douche-ee, not douch-ay. " 203 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,488 Yeah, you already read that one at my pronunciation intervention. 204 00:12:50,598 --> 00:12:54,227 - Where's the letter about Stella? - I didn't write one. I'm your ex-girlfriend. 205 00:12:54,335 --> 00:12:57,499 I figured anything I said on the subject would sound catty. 206 00:12:57,606 --> 00:13:00,302 Plus, I'm hotter than her, so who cares? 207 00:13:02,345 --> 00:13:03,505 Marshall? 208 00:13:03,613 --> 00:13:06,605 - Dude, it's water under the bridge... - Please. 209 00:13:13,557 --> 00:13:17,494 "Dear Ted, Stella seems like a wonderful person. 210 00:13:19,664 --> 00:13:22,896 "But you don't know her well enough to get married. 211 00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:24,469 "You certainly don't know her well enough 212 00:13:24,570 --> 00:13:27,630 "to commit to raising a 7-year-old with her. 213 00:13:28,841 --> 00:13:35,338 "You're not doing her, her child or yourself any favors by rushing into this. 214 00:13:35,449 --> 00:13:36,917 "Just give it some more time. " 215 00:13:39,087 --> 00:13:43,252 Dude, that was months ago, all right? That was before we got to know Stella, 216 00:13:43,359 --> 00:13:46,920 and see how awesome she is and what a great couple you guys are. 217 00:13:47,029 --> 00:13:49,897 That's why we decided not to even have that intervention. 218 00:13:49,999 --> 00:13:52,900 Thank you. Because I really need you guys to be on board with this. 219 00:13:53,002 --> 00:13:55,664 - And we are. - We hope you're not mad at us. 220 00:13:55,772 --> 00:13:59,539 Of course not. I mean, it's not like what you said was crazy. 221 00:14:00,778 --> 00:14:03,179 - You had a lot of valid concerns. - Yeah, but concerns 222 00:14:03,281 --> 00:14:05,715 we have completely moved on from. 223 00:14:05,817 --> 00:14:09,948 But you had a point. I mean, this whole thing has moved pretty fast. 224 00:14:10,056 --> 00:14:13,924 Well, you know what? Maybe that's because when it's right, you just know. 225 00:14:14,026 --> 00:14:18,327 Yeah, I guess, but we are still getting to know each other. 226 00:14:18,732 --> 00:14:23,066 And, Lily, maybe you're right. Maybe Stella won't like any of my stuff. 227 00:14:23,605 --> 00:14:25,869 Like the robot cookie jar. 228 00:14:26,641 --> 00:14:28,871 This was, like, the first thing we bought for this place, remember? 229 00:14:28,977 --> 00:14:30,502 Yeah, of course I do. 230 00:14:30,980 --> 00:14:33,210 Marshall, my sensors indicate 231 00:14:33,315 --> 00:14:36,773 that your pecan-sandy levels are dangerously low. 232 00:14:38,121 --> 00:14:41,488 My collection of James Bond movies. 233 00:14:41,591 --> 00:14:43,286 Remember? We watched them all in order, 234 00:14:43,393 --> 00:14:46,886 and then Lily spoke in that weird English accent for, like, the next month? 235 00:14:46,998 --> 00:14:48,431 - It was sophisticated. - No. 236 00:14:48,566 --> 00:14:49,794 - Nope. - No. 237 00:14:50,669 --> 00:14:55,333 My signed Bernie Kosar cleats. My elephant lamp. 238 00:14:55,441 --> 00:14:58,741 The English phone booth. My sombrero! 239 00:15:01,614 --> 00:15:04,049 - Ted, what are you doing? - Unpacking. 240 00:15:04,151 --> 00:15:06,881 I am never leaving this apartment. 241 00:15:14,029 --> 00:15:17,431 No, no, Ted, stop unpacking. You're just freaking out. 242 00:15:17,533 --> 00:15:19,057 I'm not ready for all the responsibility. 243 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:23,264 And I'm certainly not ready to be a stepdad to a 7-year-old. 244 00:15:23,372 --> 00:15:26,604 I mean, if I get married and move to the suburbs, in the blink of an eye, 245 00:15:26,710 --> 00:15:28,075 I've become an old man! 246 00:15:30,681 --> 00:15:33,173 Why, hello, young lady. 247 00:15:33,418 --> 00:15:35,613 You want a butterscotch candy? 248 00:15:36,488 --> 00:15:40,152 What do you mean, "Nothing in common?" We're both seniors. 249 00:15:44,464 --> 00:15:48,764 - You're cute. How old are you? - 83. 250 00:15:48,869 --> 00:15:51,030 - How old are you? - Thirty-one. 251 00:15:54,742 --> 00:15:57,142 Okay, Ted has officially snapped. 252 00:15:57,245 --> 00:15:59,407 There are moving men coming in 10 hours. 253 00:15:59,515 --> 00:16:03,474 His fiancée is waiting for him in New Jersey. We have to do something. 254 00:16:03,585 --> 00:16:04,917 I've got this. 255 00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:10,756 - Hey, bud? - Hey. 256 00:16:10,860 --> 00:16:13,921 - Why don't you come here for a minute? - What? 257 00:16:14,031 --> 00:16:17,489 Look, I want you to know this is all totally normal. 258 00:16:17,601 --> 00:16:22,869 Big transitions can be scary, and cold feet, well, they're just part of the deal. 259 00:16:22,974 --> 00:16:28,106 So how about you give me the knife? Give me the knife. 260 00:16:29,015 --> 00:16:30,277 Come on. 261 00:16:33,053 --> 00:16:34,281 So I can start unpacking, too. 262 00:16:34,388 --> 00:16:36,356 I'm staying here right by your side forever, buddy! 263 00:16:36,456 --> 00:16:37,480 - Yeah! - Yeah! 264 00:16:37,591 --> 00:16:41,688 - Marshall! - Lily, our lives have been good here. 265 00:16:41,796 --> 00:16:43,457 That's why we've been putting off packing. 266 00:16:43,565 --> 00:16:47,024 Because, subconsciously, we both know that it would be stupid to leave. 267 00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:50,196 It's safe and warm here. There's a bar downstairs 268 00:16:50,306 --> 00:16:52,036 and a cookie robot in the kitchen. 269 00:16:52,142 --> 00:16:55,134 - This is my home, and I'm never leaving! - Listen to you. 270 00:16:55,245 --> 00:16:57,805 You sound like that fat, dweeby kid at camp. 271 00:16:57,914 --> 00:16:59,542 "Mom, Dad, I want to come home. 272 00:16:59,650 --> 00:17:02,448 "The cool kids are playing Keep Away with my inhaler. " 273 00:17:02,553 --> 00:17:05,317 I can't believe my dad read that letter at our wedding. 274 00:17:05,424 --> 00:17:06,891 Marshall, you can't do this to Lily. 275 00:17:06,992 --> 00:17:09,085 Yes, I know your new place has had some problems, 276 00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:12,528 with the slanted floors and the nearby sewage treatment plant, 277 00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:16,090 but you're gonna turn it into a great home. Tell him, Lily. 278 00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:20,162 It's a black hole where dreams go to die. I'm not moving, either. 279 00:17:20,274 --> 00:17:21,605 - Oh, come on! - Yes! 280 00:17:21,709 --> 00:17:23,734 Okay, you guys finish unpacking. 281 00:17:23,844 --> 00:17:26,712 I'm gonna go bake some cookies to fill R2-Sweet Tooth. 282 00:17:27,649 --> 00:17:32,383 Oh, my God, look at you cowards! So afraid of any kind of change. 283 00:17:32,488 --> 00:17:34,319 So terrified of anything new. 284 00:17:34,457 --> 00:17:38,154 So desperate to cling to anything comfortable and familiar. 285 00:17:38,260 --> 00:17:40,024 I can't move to Japan. 286 00:17:40,397 --> 00:17:41,557 - Yes! - Whoa! 287 00:17:41,665 --> 00:17:46,069 What was I thinking? It's so far away and I don't speak the language. 288 00:17:46,170 --> 00:17:48,400 I don't even have any good pictures of you guys. 289 00:17:48,506 --> 00:17:50,167 Oh, sweetie. 290 00:17:50,608 --> 00:17:54,670 Everybody says change is so great, right? But what's so great about change? 291 00:17:54,780 --> 00:17:57,442 Hey, who wants to walk down to our same old bar, 292 00:17:57,549 --> 00:17:59,814 sit in our regular booth and order the usual? 293 00:17:59,919 --> 00:18:02,945 - Yeah! - The usual! My favorite! 294 00:18:05,892 --> 00:18:07,622 Oh, my God. 295 00:18:12,934 --> 00:18:18,873 Well, well, well. I believe someone owes me $200. 296 00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:21,102 Barney, this was never a bet. Nobody... 297 00:18:21,210 --> 00:18:25,044 This proves that I will be this awesome when I'm 80. 298 00:18:25,148 --> 00:18:27,117 Arthritis-five. 299 00:18:30,354 --> 00:18:31,753 I'm moving to New Jersey. 300 00:18:31,855 --> 00:18:33,847 - What? - And you and Marshall should move 301 00:18:33,958 --> 00:18:36,188 to your new place, and Robin should go to Japan. 302 00:18:36,294 --> 00:18:37,261 Why? 303 00:18:37,362 --> 00:18:39,830 Because we're gonna get older whether we like it or not, 304 00:18:39,932 --> 00:18:43,766 so the only question is, whether we want to get on with our lives 305 00:18:43,869 --> 00:18:47,499 or desperately cling to the past and end up like that? 306 00:18:47,607 --> 00:18:49,234 You mean awesome? 307 00:18:49,576 --> 00:18:54,207 I'm 80, dude, and I'm making out with a 22-year-old. 308 00:18:55,083 --> 00:18:57,347 Take me to your place, chéri. 309 00:18:57,485 --> 00:19:02,514 - I want to see your World War II medals. - In a minute, mon petit. 310 00:19:02,891 --> 00:19:06,054 - All right, so that doesn't count. - What? Why? 311 00:19:06,161 --> 00:19:09,757 She's French. That's like playing tennis with the net down. 312 00:19:09,866 --> 00:19:13,063 You know what? I'll cover the security deposit. 313 00:19:13,169 --> 00:19:16,139 I'm glad to, because every dent in that place 314 00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,538 represents a memory that I'll cherish forever. 315 00:19:18,642 --> 00:19:23,482 But on one condition. We all put aside 10 bucks every week for the next year, 316 00:19:23,582 --> 00:19:26,745 and we come back here and we buy that 50-year-old Scotch, 317 00:19:26,852 --> 00:19:30,550 and we toast the incredible life-changing year we've all had. 318 00:19:30,656 --> 00:19:32,419 Get out of our booth. 319 00:19:35,662 --> 00:19:38,756 Me with my new family, Marshall and Lily in their new apartment, 320 00:19:38,866 --> 00:19:42,132 and Robin as the number-one English-speaking journalist 321 00:19:42,237 --> 00:19:47,334 in the Pacific Rim, visiting us here in New York to celebrate this day, 322 00:19:47,443 --> 00:19:50,810 the day we closed an incredible chapter in our lives, 323 00:19:50,913 --> 00:19:52,847 only to open up a new one. 324 00:19:53,516 --> 00:19:56,816 - Um. I think I left my cell... - Get out of here! 325 00:19:58,755 --> 00:20:00,552 And one year later, that's exactly what we did. 326 00:20:01,759 --> 00:20:06,162 And so, let's raise a glass of $2,500 Scotch for one hell of a year. 327 00:20:06,264 --> 00:20:07,231 Hmm. 328 00:20:10,769 --> 00:20:12,862 - Amazing. - That's unbelievable. 329 00:20:12,971 --> 00:20:16,635 It's kind of smoky, with a hint of aged cedar, and... 330 00:20:16,743 --> 00:20:18,802 Do you guys taste the difference between this and $10 Scotch? 331 00:20:18,912 --> 00:20:19,936 - Not at all. - No difference. 332 00:20:20,046 --> 00:20:21,446 I want to cut mine with Red Bull. 333 00:20:21,549 --> 00:20:24,109 - Oh, Wendy, will you take a picture? - Sure. 334 00:20:24,885 --> 00:20:27,353 A lot of things did change that year, 335 00:20:27,822 --> 00:20:29,120 but some things stayed the same. 336 00:20:29,825 --> 00:20:33,488 So, what do you say we move this party upstairs to the apartment? 337 00:20:33,595 --> 00:20:35,120 - Yeah. - Great idea. 338 00:20:44,374 --> 00:20:46,035 What the... 339 00:20:47,177 --> 00:20:49,510 Barney, this is an intervention. 340 00:20:50,348 --> 00:20:53,010 I'm sorry, I can't hear you. 341 00:20:53,117 --> 00:20:58,021 - All right, enough with the old-man bit. - What about the old sand pit? 342 00:20:58,123 --> 00:21:03,221 - Let it go. - Let it snow? I love that old ditty! 343 00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:08,524 - I'm getting my flail. - You're setting sail?