1 00:00:01,382 --> 00:00:02,872 Kids, everyone has an opinion 2 00:00:02,984 --> 00:00:05,043 on how long it takes to recover from a breakup. 3 00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:07,317 Half the length of the relationship. 4 00:00:07,488 --> 00:00:09,319 One week for every month you were together. 5 00:00:09,557 --> 00:00:12,617 Exactly 10,000 drinks. However long that takes. 6 00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:15,354 You can't measure something like this in time. 7 00:00:15,463 --> 00:00:17,192 There's a series of steps. 8 00:00:17,298 --> 00:00:20,790 From her bed to the front door. Bam! Out of there. Next! 9 00:00:21,703 --> 00:00:24,297 But I think you start to recover the moment you meet that person 10 00:00:24,405 --> 00:00:26,669 who gets you back in the game. 11 00:00:27,442 --> 00:00:30,309 This is the story of how I met that person. 12 00:00:38,186 --> 00:00:42,213 Now, kids, if you want to go swimming, you don't just dive in. 13 00:00:42,323 --> 00:00:44,757 First, you dip your toe in the water. 14 00:00:44,859 --> 00:00:47,259 - Hey. - Hi. 15 00:00:55,036 --> 00:00:57,937 You check the temperature. See how it feels. 16 00:00:58,873 --> 00:01:02,036 - I'm Ted. - Vicky. 17 00:01:30,838 --> 00:01:32,863 And then you slowly wade in. 18 00:01:32,974 --> 00:01:34,737 I got left at the altar a month ago. 19 00:01:34,842 --> 00:01:36,139 Or, you know, cannonball. 20 00:01:36,244 --> 00:01:39,179 It was a complete disaster, and ever since then, 21 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,443 I haven't been able to even look at another woman. 22 00:01:42,583 --> 00:01:46,110 Except for the old lady on the subway who breakdances for nickels. 23 00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:48,688 I don't look at her that way. I just look at her. 24 00:01:48,790 --> 00:01:52,317 I mean, it's an old lady breakdancing. And she is good. 25 00:01:53,194 --> 00:01:55,992 I'm going to give her a dollar next time. 26 00:01:56,564 --> 00:01:59,124 Hey, let's pretend I just said this. 27 00:01:59,233 --> 00:02:01,929 These elevator rides have been the highlight of my week, 28 00:02:02,036 --> 00:02:04,869 and I'd love to see you again Friday night. 29 00:02:04,973 --> 00:02:09,171 Not in the elevator. At a restaurant, a nice one. 30 00:02:09,277 --> 00:02:13,373 - What do you say? - Yes. 31 00:02:27,929 --> 00:02:29,897 Kids, I walked in on a lot of crazy stuff 32 00:02:29,998 --> 00:02:31,898 at the old apartment over the years. 33 00:02:35,036 --> 00:02:38,335 Sorry, guys. I'm just going to go with a bowl of fruit. 34 00:02:39,774 --> 00:02:41,867 It's been 12 minutes! 35 00:02:46,581 --> 00:02:48,515 - Drop it! - You first! 36 00:02:48,616 --> 00:02:50,015 Ike, why are you pointing your gun at me? 37 00:02:50,118 --> 00:02:53,110 - Don't use my name! - Put the guns down, now! 38 00:02:58,659 --> 00:03:00,752 But one of the craziest things I ever walked in on 39 00:03:00,862 --> 00:03:04,229 happened when I was roommates with your Aunt Robin. 40 00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:10,863 - Hey. - Hey. 41 00:03:13,341 --> 00:03:15,775 - Who are you? - Mitch. 42 00:03:18,279 --> 00:03:22,215 - What are you doing, Mitch? - You must be the roommate. 43 00:03:22,316 --> 00:03:25,843 I'm on a date with Robin. She had to step outside to take a call. 44 00:03:25,953 --> 00:03:27,443 I guess her cell phone doesn't work in here. 45 00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:28,579 Oh. 46 00:03:29,524 --> 00:03:30,718 Oh! 47 00:03:30,825 --> 00:03:34,317 Oh. Robin didn't use the super-secret signal. 48 00:03:34,429 --> 00:03:37,057 We put this old takeout menu on the doorknob. 49 00:03:37,165 --> 00:03:40,362 Place went out of business. Mr. Wang's. 50 00:03:40,468 --> 00:03:43,562 Guess I don't have to explain why that's funny. 51 00:03:43,671 --> 00:03:45,104 I'm gonna go. 52 00:03:47,875 --> 00:03:52,335 When you leave, take the seat cushion with you. That's trash now. 53 00:03:53,147 --> 00:03:55,945 I think that I am more than qualified for the job. 54 00:03:56,050 --> 00:04:00,487 My weaknesses? I would say caring too much, working too hard, 55 00:04:00,588 --> 00:04:02,749 and putting my career in front of my love life. 56 00:04:02,857 --> 00:04:05,792 Whoops! That last one was real. What? 57 00:04:08,162 --> 00:04:12,895 Well, it appears our sweet, innocent little Robin has taken a lover. 58 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:15,264 A young blade by the name of Mitch. 59 00:04:15,536 --> 00:04:17,527 Her blind date? Total bust. 60 00:04:17,638 --> 00:04:19,868 She's been sending me text messages all night. 61 00:04:19,974 --> 00:04:23,637 She just let him go upstairs to use the bathroom a second ago. 62 00:04:23,744 --> 00:04:25,609 Excuse me a minute. 63 00:04:28,716 --> 00:04:31,844 Buddy, you are killing me. I'm kind of in the middle of something here. 64 00:04:31,953 --> 00:04:33,011 Middle of what? 65 00:04:34,622 --> 00:04:38,217 This is my move. It's called The Naked Man. 66 00:04:38,326 --> 00:04:40,886 - The Naked Man? - Goes like this. 67 00:04:40,995 --> 00:04:43,725 You're on a first date, you've had a few drinks. 68 00:04:44,398 --> 00:04:46,593 You make an excuse to go up to the girl's apartment. 69 00:04:46,701 --> 00:04:48,168 - So the bathroom's right there. - Okay, thanks. 70 00:04:50,004 --> 00:04:50,971 You know what, I'm gonna grab this. 71 00:04:51,072 --> 00:04:53,233 - Okay. - Hello? 72 00:04:53,341 --> 00:04:58,438 Then, once she leaves the room, you strip down naked and wait. 73 00:04:58,546 --> 00:05:02,038 When she comes back, she laughs. 74 00:05:02,150 --> 00:05:04,618 She's so charmed by your confidence and bravado, 75 00:05:04,719 --> 00:05:06,880 she sleeps with you. Boom! 76 00:05:08,456 --> 00:05:12,482 - There is no way that works! - Two out of three times. 77 00:05:12,592 --> 00:05:14,219 Two out of three times? 78 00:05:14,327 --> 00:05:17,819 Two out of three times. You just have to pick your spot. 79 00:05:17,931 --> 00:05:20,627 The Naked Man is best used as a last resort, 80 00:05:20,734 --> 00:05:22,793 kind of a Hail Mary on a first date 81 00:05:22,903 --> 00:05:24,768 when you know there's not going to be a second one. 82 00:05:24,871 --> 00:05:26,498 How do you know there's not gonna be a second date? 83 00:05:26,606 --> 00:05:29,439 - Ted, look at me. - I'd rather not, Mitch. 84 00:05:29,543 --> 00:05:34,537 Robin is way out of my league. I'm not smart, funny or handsome. 85 00:05:34,648 --> 00:05:36,479 And as you can plainly see, there's nothing impressive 86 00:05:36,583 --> 00:05:38,847 going on anywhere around here. 87 00:05:39,953 --> 00:05:42,786 My only shot with a girl like Robin is the element of surprise. 88 00:05:42,889 --> 00:05:47,383 And, let's be honest, a little pity. It's shock and... 89 00:05:47,494 --> 00:05:48,461 Aw! 90 00:05:49,796 --> 00:05:54,893 - This doesn't really work. - Two out of three times. Guaranteed. 91 00:05:55,001 --> 00:05:58,368 - No way. - Two out of three times. 92 00:05:58,471 --> 00:06:01,167 - He guaranteed it. - Oh, come on. 93 00:06:01,274 --> 00:06:03,242 There is no way that's gonna work on Robin. 94 00:06:03,343 --> 00:06:04,435 She's going to walk in there, 95 00:06:04,544 --> 00:06:06,409 take one look at that idiot and send him packing. 96 00:06:06,513 --> 00:06:08,413 Yeah, she might kick his ass first. 97 00:06:08,515 --> 00:06:10,312 Yeah, she might get her gun and shoot him. 98 00:06:15,956 --> 00:06:16,945 Go, go! 99 00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:21,889 - My God! - It worked. 100 00:06:21,995 --> 00:06:24,259 Mr. Wang's is back in business? 101 00:06:29,803 --> 00:06:32,135 The Naked Man works! 102 00:06:32,239 --> 00:06:35,367 This is gonna revolutionize the one-night stand. 103 00:06:35,475 --> 00:06:40,242 This is like the forward pass in football. The slam dunk in basketball. 104 00:06:40,347 --> 00:06:42,747 The haircutting technique where they hold it between their fingers 105 00:06:42,849 --> 00:06:45,443 and cut right above it. It's a total game-changer! 106 00:06:45,552 --> 00:06:49,215 Barney, this guy slept with Robin, who you claim to be in love with. 107 00:06:49,322 --> 00:06:51,586 How can you be excited about this? 108 00:06:51,691 --> 00:06:56,594 Lily, The Naked Man is bigger than me and Robin. 109 00:06:56,696 --> 00:07:00,063 All these years, I have been busting my hump, 110 00:07:00,166 --> 00:07:04,432 with my secret identities and my tricks and my gadgets. 111 00:07:04,537 --> 00:07:09,031 I mean, I'm like Batman. But this Mitch fellow, he's Superman. 112 00:07:09,142 --> 00:07:11,337 He just rips off his clothes and he's good to go. 113 00:07:11,444 --> 00:07:14,572 What kind of gadgets are we talking about? 114 00:07:15,248 --> 00:07:17,011 So this is what it's gonna be like, us living together? 115 00:07:17,117 --> 00:07:21,019 I come home, and guys you're dating are just gonna be sitting on the couch, naked? 116 00:07:21,121 --> 00:07:22,452 I wish I could say no. 117 00:07:22,555 --> 00:07:26,719 I still cannot believe The Naked Man worked on you. 118 00:07:26,826 --> 00:07:30,626 What can I say? Okay, I went in there, and he was naked. 119 00:07:30,764 --> 00:07:34,632 It was funny. I laughed, he laughed. 120 00:07:34,734 --> 00:07:37,931 And then it just kind of happened. I don't know. 121 00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:41,500 I call slut! 122 00:07:41,608 --> 00:07:43,041 - Whoa! - Whoa! 123 00:07:43,143 --> 00:07:44,405 Excuse me? 124 00:07:44,511 --> 00:07:46,342 I'm sorry, Robin, but you hooking up with this guy 125 00:07:46,446 --> 00:07:50,382 makes it seem like the only thing standing between you and sex is clothes. 126 00:07:51,318 --> 00:07:54,310 I didn't just sleep with Mitch because he was naked. 127 00:07:54,421 --> 00:07:56,889 - Then why did you sleep with him? - Because he... 128 00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:57,957 Um... 129 00:07:58,792 --> 00:08:04,253 He... Because I care about Mitch. A lot. 130 00:08:04,364 --> 00:08:09,097 There was a connection of specialness. 131 00:08:09,202 --> 00:08:11,693 Of specialness and feelings. 132 00:08:12,372 --> 00:08:15,569 It was because he was naked. And I'm sorry, but I don't approve. 133 00:08:15,675 --> 00:08:20,112 There is only one reason to sleep with somebody, and that is love. 134 00:08:22,582 --> 00:08:25,415 Yeah, Marshall's a big girl because he believes in true love 135 00:08:25,518 --> 00:08:26,849 and just finished reading The Notebook 136 00:08:26,953 --> 00:08:29,319 because the secretaries bullied him into joining Oprah's Book Club. 137 00:08:29,422 --> 00:08:31,447 Fine! But you know I'm right. 138 00:08:31,558 --> 00:08:35,187 Marshall, I love you, but there's lots of reasons to have sex. 139 00:08:35,295 --> 00:08:36,922 - Name one. - I can name 50. 140 00:08:37,030 --> 00:08:40,727 - No, you can't. - Number 1, last Thursday. 141 00:08:46,873 --> 00:08:49,842 - Hey, Marshall, want to do it? - I'm up. 142 00:08:51,344 --> 00:08:55,508 You befouled our marital bed because you couldn't get to sleep? 143 00:08:55,615 --> 00:08:56,707 You're the one who said, 144 00:08:56,816 --> 00:09:01,480 "That shadow on the ceiling looks like a scary, toothless clown. Good night, Lily. " 145 00:09:01,588 --> 00:09:06,287 - Fine! That's one. But I defy you to name... - I'm going to name 50. 146 00:09:06,393 --> 00:09:09,954 There's make-up sex, break-up sex, 147 00:09:10,063 --> 00:09:13,157 and your-friend-just-told-you - about-a-new-position sex. 148 00:09:13,266 --> 00:09:15,257 You're welcome. 149 00:09:15,368 --> 00:09:19,771 There's also revenge, rebound, paratrooping. 150 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:22,972 You know, when you go out of town, but instead of getting a hotel room, 151 00:09:23,076 --> 00:09:25,670 you go straight to a bar with the sole intention of hooking up with a girl 152 00:09:25,779 --> 00:09:26,837 so you have a place to stay? 153 00:09:26,946 --> 00:09:29,779 - Oh, you mean banging-for-roof. - Slut! 154 00:09:30,517 --> 00:09:32,678 I don't do it. My college roommate did it. 155 00:09:32,786 --> 00:09:35,050 Oh. No, no, Robin, I just have a bad cough. 156 00:09:35,155 --> 00:09:37,123 I don't really have a bad cough. 157 00:09:37,223 --> 00:09:40,624 We all know college roommate means you, slut! 158 00:09:42,362 --> 00:09:44,455 Does anyone have a lozenge? 159 00:09:44,931 --> 00:09:47,991 I've got one. Nothing-good-on-television sex. 160 00:09:48,101 --> 00:09:49,090 Hmm. 161 00:09:49,202 --> 00:09:53,434 - Hotel-room sex. - Curiosity, as in, 162 00:09:53,540 --> 00:09:56,998 I've always wondered what it's like to have sex with a really tall girl. 163 00:09:57,110 --> 00:10:00,443 Not a big girl, just a tall girl. 164 00:10:01,481 --> 00:10:04,746 Like, if a normal girl 165 00:10:04,851 --> 00:10:08,617 were seven, seven-and-a-half-feet tall 166 00:10:08,721 --> 00:10:13,249 and wore a denim miniskirt. 167 00:10:13,359 --> 00:10:16,817 - I would have to know what that is like. - Okay. 168 00:10:18,965 --> 00:10:22,025 He-said-he-loved-you-but-you're-not-ready - to-say-it-back-yet sex. 169 00:10:22,135 --> 00:10:23,659 Forty-three. 170 00:10:23,770 --> 00:10:27,536 - Wingman diving on the friend grenade. - Forty-four. 171 00:10:27,640 --> 00:10:30,803 - The condoms are about to expire. - Forty-five. 172 00:10:35,381 --> 00:10:38,908 - Wow! This is getting a little hard. - Forty-six! 173 00:10:41,354 --> 00:10:43,049 Okay, four more to go. 174 00:10:43,156 --> 00:10:47,388 You dropped a Cheeto on his lap, and when you reached for it, 175 00:10:47,494 --> 00:10:51,362 he thought you were making a move, so you just went with it. 176 00:10:51,664 --> 00:10:54,861 Well, thank you for ruining the memory of our six-month anniversary. 177 00:10:54,968 --> 00:10:56,663 You got me Cheetos. 178 00:10:57,337 --> 00:10:59,897 Look, can we just stop with this stupid list, okay? 179 00:11:00,006 --> 00:11:03,271 - You guys are making me sad. - No, I'm having fun. 180 00:11:03,376 --> 00:11:06,573 Man, this whole one-partner thing sucks sometimes. 181 00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:09,978 I'm always talking about you. I can't play "I never," 182 00:11:10,083 --> 00:11:13,883 because then everyone would know all the weird stuff I let you do to me. 183 00:11:13,987 --> 00:11:17,354 The only weird thing I ever did to you was open up my heart and soul, 184 00:11:17,457 --> 00:11:20,187 when all I had to do was strip naked while you were out of the room. 185 00:11:20,293 --> 00:11:23,456 I didn't sleep with Mitch because he was naked. 186 00:11:23,563 --> 00:11:25,394 Mitch and I have something special. 187 00:11:25,498 --> 00:11:27,830 I mean, fingers crossed, guys. He may be the one. 188 00:11:27,934 --> 00:11:32,462 - The one? Mitch? The Naked Man? - You mean the naked genius. 189 00:11:32,572 --> 00:11:37,635 All these years I've been suiting up when I should have been suiting down. That's it. 190 00:11:37,744 --> 00:11:40,178 I am doing The Naked Man tonight. 191 00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:41,804 - Ted, so are you. - What? 192 00:11:41,915 --> 00:11:44,748 With the elevator girl. You're going out with her tonight, right? Naked Man! 193 00:11:44,851 --> 00:11:46,580 No. Barney, come on, this is the first girl 194 00:11:46,686 --> 00:11:48,415 I've had the courage to ask out since Stella. 195 00:11:48,521 --> 00:11:49,613 Naked Man! 196 00:11:49,722 --> 00:11:52,020 No, Barney, this is the eighth outfit I tried on tonight. 197 00:11:52,125 --> 00:11:55,094 I got my hair cut three times, I'm a nervous wreck. 198 00:11:55,194 --> 00:11:57,355 Are you wearing makeup? 199 00:11:58,131 --> 00:12:02,090 It's not makeup, okay? It's a sunscreen with a subtle tint of... 200 00:12:03,536 --> 00:12:07,632 It's made for men. Sue me, I want my eyes to pop. 201 00:12:10,343 --> 00:12:13,176 - Naked Man! - No, Barney, I like Vicky. 202 00:12:13,279 --> 00:12:14,507 This could actually go somewhere. 203 00:12:14,614 --> 00:12:17,048 I don't want to do anything stupid to jeopardize it. 204 00:12:17,150 --> 00:12:21,211 Well, I really like that girl, 205 00:12:21,321 --> 00:12:24,188 but... Oh! I didn't see her from the back. 206 00:12:24,290 --> 00:12:27,521 I really like that girl. 207 00:12:27,627 --> 00:12:32,064 And I'm willing to jeopardize our future together for one night of glory. 208 00:12:33,399 --> 00:12:34,696 Naked Man! 209 00:12:36,269 --> 00:12:38,863 So, that night we all set out to prove something. 210 00:12:38,972 --> 00:12:40,940 Robin wanted to defend her honor. 211 00:12:41,040 --> 00:12:43,338 Mitch, hey, baby, it's me. 212 00:12:44,877 --> 00:12:47,937 Robin. Do you want to grab some dinner tonight? 213 00:12:49,549 --> 00:12:52,518 Because you're basically my boyfriend! 214 00:12:52,952 --> 00:12:55,716 Lily needed to prove that she could finish her list. 215 00:12:55,822 --> 00:12:58,620 I'm stuck. I can't think of the last two. 216 00:13:01,060 --> 00:13:02,527 Reason Number 48, 217 00:13:02,629 --> 00:13:06,360 "To reinforce good behaviors such as shaving and dental hygiene. " 218 00:13:06,466 --> 00:13:08,263 Oh, now you're conditioning me? Great! 219 00:13:08,368 --> 00:13:11,895 That explains why I always get an erection when I floss. 220 00:13:12,705 --> 00:13:15,538 I had to prove that as scary as it was to be dating again, 221 00:13:15,642 --> 00:13:18,270 I was over Stella and ready to get back out there. 222 00:13:18,378 --> 00:13:21,609 And Barney needed to prove that he, too, could pull off The Naked Man. 223 00:13:21,914 --> 00:13:23,814 Hey, thank you for letting me look at your aquarium. 224 00:13:23,916 --> 00:13:26,350 - You're a real lifesaver. - Sure, no problem. 225 00:13:26,452 --> 00:13:29,853 I just need to use the bathroom then I'll be on my way. 226 00:13:36,195 --> 00:13:39,722 Ted, I'm doing it. I'm doing The Naked Man! 227 00:13:40,199 --> 00:13:41,257 Me, too! 228 00:13:46,939 --> 00:13:49,100 I'm doing it! I'm doing The Naked Man! 229 00:13:49,208 --> 00:13:51,733 That's great! What made you change your mind? 230 00:13:51,844 --> 00:13:55,644 Well, the date with Vicky started off okay, but it didn't go as well as I hoped. 231 00:13:56,282 --> 00:13:59,479 Oh, my God, Ted, you are so funny. 232 00:13:59,585 --> 00:14:02,554 And can I just say, you have amazing eyes. 233 00:14:02,655 --> 00:14:04,623 What, these old things? 234 00:14:05,958 --> 00:14:08,119 - Nice job, hotshot. - I'm sorry... 235 00:14:08,227 --> 00:14:11,890 Save it! Go tell the manager he owes us an appetizer. 236 00:14:11,998 --> 00:14:16,492 One of the ones with shrimp! You're welcome. You were saying? 237 00:14:16,803 --> 00:14:19,795 And then his cane missed the top step, 238 00:14:19,906 --> 00:14:23,137 and he was falling for, I swear, like, two minutes. 239 00:14:24,677 --> 00:14:27,874 Oh, God, I love old people. 240 00:14:29,749 --> 00:14:32,582 Once I realized there was no possible future in this relationship, 241 00:14:32,685 --> 00:14:34,880 - I just decided to go for it. - Awesome. 242 00:14:34,987 --> 00:14:39,583 Okay, big question, what pose will you display your Naked Man in? 243 00:14:40,126 --> 00:14:41,093 Huh. 244 00:14:41,260 --> 00:14:43,421 That is a big question. I hadn't really thought about it. 245 00:14:43,529 --> 00:14:45,724 I was thinking the Superman. 246 00:14:47,967 --> 00:14:50,527 What about the Captain Morgan? 247 00:14:52,538 --> 00:14:55,439 How about the "Oops, I didn't see you there"? 248 00:14:57,376 --> 00:14:58,741 The Thinker. 249 00:14:59,912 --> 00:15:01,777 What about the Heisman? 250 00:15:02,915 --> 00:15:04,246 Mr. Clean. 251 00:15:06,719 --> 00:15:08,346 The Burt Reynolds. 252 00:15:15,995 --> 00:15:18,259 It's so great to see you again. 253 00:15:21,300 --> 00:15:23,894 I really had a great time last night. 254 00:15:29,008 --> 00:15:31,704 So, what is it like managing a CPK? 255 00:15:31,811 --> 00:15:33,710 I mean, whose idea was it to put a pineapple in the... 256 00:15:33,812 --> 00:15:36,781 Okay, stop right there. I know what this is. 257 00:15:37,215 --> 00:15:40,207 I've been on this date before. This is the "I'm not a slut" date. 258 00:15:40,318 --> 00:15:42,946 What? That's crazy. 259 00:15:43,054 --> 00:15:45,818 Usually you read me so well, but this time you're wrong. 260 00:15:45,924 --> 00:15:47,152 Come on, Robin. 261 00:15:47,259 --> 00:15:51,127 One of us had a good time last night, and we both know it was me. 262 00:15:51,229 --> 00:15:55,393 Mitchell something, that is just not true. 263 00:15:55,500 --> 00:15:58,367 - Really? How was the sex? - I didn't hate it. 264 00:15:58,470 --> 00:16:02,167 Robin, you've seen my move. That's it. 265 00:16:03,041 --> 00:16:07,341 I have nothing else to offer you. I'm broke, I sweat when I eat, 266 00:16:07,445 --> 00:16:09,640 and I'm in, like, five different fantasy football leagues. 267 00:16:09,748 --> 00:16:12,945 It's all I talk about. Trust me, you don't want to be around that. 268 00:16:13,051 --> 00:16:15,713 What? Yes, I do. 269 00:16:15,954 --> 00:16:18,286 Look, I didn't just sleep with you because you were naked. 270 00:16:18,390 --> 00:16:19,948 Yeah, you did. 271 00:16:20,058 --> 00:16:21,923 And now you're trying to pretend it was something more 272 00:16:22,027 --> 00:16:24,120 to make yourself feel better. 273 00:16:24,229 --> 00:16:27,665 Say what you will, at least The Naked Man is honest. 274 00:16:29,334 --> 00:16:31,825 What about the old Coppertone Baby? 275 00:16:35,207 --> 00:16:38,108 The Olympic gymnast who stuck the landing. 276 00:16:41,112 --> 00:16:43,342 - Yeah, I got to go. - Naked Man! 277 00:16:46,852 --> 00:16:48,615 You have a really nice place! 278 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:51,484 Oh, thanks! Coming from you, that's a real compliment. 279 00:16:51,590 --> 00:16:54,058 I just love that you're an architect. It's so fascinating. 280 00:16:54,159 --> 00:16:57,925 I could listen to you talk about structural design all night. 281 00:16:58,663 --> 00:17:00,528 And then I noticed, lying on her end table, 282 00:17:00,632 --> 00:17:03,123 a book of love poems by Pablo Neruda. 283 00:17:03,235 --> 00:17:05,601 The same edition I'd had since college. 284 00:17:05,704 --> 00:17:07,672 And it was bookmarked to my favorite poem. 285 00:17:10,242 --> 00:17:14,576 Maybe I was all wrong about this girl. Maybe there was a future for us. 286 00:17:16,047 --> 00:17:17,173 Crap! 287 00:17:22,888 --> 00:17:25,413 Here we go. 288 00:17:25,957 --> 00:17:27,720 Pablo Neruda. 289 00:17:28,226 --> 00:17:31,525 Oh. Yeah, that book's a turd. 290 00:17:31,630 --> 00:17:34,497 Some douchey guy I hooked up with left it here. It's all in Mexican. 291 00:17:36,268 --> 00:17:39,328 You know who writes good poems? Jewel. 292 00:17:39,437 --> 00:17:42,372 Her teeth are crooked and she lived in a car. 293 00:17:43,241 --> 00:17:44,936 So, she has stuff to write about... 294 00:17:45,043 --> 00:17:46,010 Ta-da! 295 00:17:58,690 --> 00:17:59,816 Okay. 296 00:18:01,559 --> 00:18:02,992 The Naked Man works. 297 00:18:03,094 --> 00:18:05,289 I just had decent sex with an awful human being. 298 00:18:05,397 --> 00:18:08,298 - I am back! - Congratulations, buddy. 299 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,665 You're not the only one who rocked The Naked Man tonight. 300 00:18:12,570 --> 00:18:15,300 You just want to do it to change the subject. 301 00:18:15,407 --> 00:18:18,706 Yeah. Hey, that's Number 49. 302 00:18:19,611 --> 00:18:23,741 - Did it work? - It's like I just flossed. 303 00:18:23,848 --> 00:18:27,511 - I love you. - That's 50. 304 00:18:27,619 --> 00:18:28,847 Oh, yeah. 305 00:18:29,921 --> 00:18:33,049 - Nice! What pose did you go with? - I went with "I've got boobs. " 306 00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:35,126 And she nailed it. 307 00:18:36,695 --> 00:18:39,289 Oh, my God! Guys, guys, guys! This is him. 308 00:18:39,397 --> 00:18:42,855 - This is The Naked Man. - Ted, his name is Mitch. 309 00:18:42,968 --> 00:18:47,405 - And he's my boyfriend. So... - It's okay, Robin. I no longer call slut. 310 00:18:47,505 --> 00:18:48,472 Oh. 311 00:18:48,907 --> 00:18:50,966 - Okay. You can go. We're done. - Thanks. 312 00:18:51,076 --> 00:18:53,874 No, Mitch, Mitch, I have to thank you. 313 00:18:53,979 --> 00:18:56,174 - We all tried The Naked Man tonight. - Oh. 314 00:18:56,281 --> 00:18:59,148 Oh! We should see how Barney did. 315 00:19:02,487 --> 00:19:04,819 - Hello? - Hi, is Barney there? 316 00:19:04,923 --> 00:19:05,890 No. 317 00:19:06,491 --> 00:19:08,959 Oh, my God! What's the matter with you? 318 00:19:09,060 --> 00:19:10,755 - Get out! - I just have to grab my suit. 319 00:19:10,862 --> 00:19:13,422 - It's very expensive. The tie alone... - Get out of here right now! 320 00:19:13,531 --> 00:19:17,297 - Get out, you sick son of a bitch! - All right. Okay. Call me. 321 00:19:18,503 --> 00:19:21,495 And if I see him again, I'm calling the cops. 322 00:19:25,210 --> 00:19:27,269 Two out of three times. 323 00:19:28,213 --> 00:19:32,445 Mitch, I want you to know, this night, crazy as it was, 324 00:19:32,550 --> 00:19:35,951 - it got me out of my shell. - That's the beauty of The Naked Man. 325 00:19:36,054 --> 00:19:40,115 It gives you exactly what you need. No more, no less. 326 00:19:41,593 --> 00:19:46,360 Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to replace one of my fantasy football quarterbacks. 327 00:19:46,464 --> 00:19:48,489 He separated his shoulder! 328 00:19:53,204 --> 00:19:56,071 A toast to Mitch. 329 00:19:58,209 --> 00:20:01,804 By the sum of his parts, he is just a man. 330 00:20:01,913 --> 00:20:04,848 But what he does with those parts, he becomes so much more. 331 00:20:05,350 --> 00:20:10,151 He may not fit society's definition of a hero, but he is the hero I needed. 332 00:20:10,255 --> 00:20:12,280 The hero who helped me recover from the disaster 333 00:20:12,390 --> 00:20:15,553 of my failed almost-marriage and get back into the game. 334 00:20:15,660 --> 00:20:21,292 He lives in the shadows. Is he a dream? Truth? Fiction? Damnation? Salvation? 335 00:20:21,399 --> 00:20:26,029 He is all these things, and none of them, for he is The Naked Man. 336 00:20:29,574 --> 00:20:30,973 Oh, my God! 337 00:20:42,987 --> 00:20:44,545 Oh, thank God.