1 00:00:01,657 --> 00:00:03,522 Kids, in our sophomore year of college, 2 00:00:03,626 --> 00:00:05,423 when Aunt Lily came back from spring break, 3 00:00:05,528 --> 00:00:07,996 Uncle Marshall surprised her at the airport. 4 00:00:08,097 --> 00:00:11,090 And she surprised him with a six-pack of locally brewed beer. 5 00:00:11,201 --> 00:00:13,795 Fort Lager-Dale! Get it? 6 00:00:13,904 --> 00:00:15,929 And with that, a ritual was born. 7 00:00:16,706 --> 00:00:19,641 For the next 11 years, whenever either of them would fly anywhere... 8 00:00:19,743 --> 00:00:22,371 Minne-Cider! Get it? 9 00:00:22,479 --> 00:00:25,142 ...the reunion was always commemorated with a chauffeur sign 10 00:00:25,249 --> 00:00:27,114 and a six-pack from wherever they'd been. 11 00:00:27,218 --> 00:00:31,086 Aspen Yards Ale! Get it? 12 00:00:31,188 --> 00:00:34,453 - Actually, no. - Me, neither. I was hoping you would. 13 00:00:34,892 --> 00:00:38,488 But then, one night in January of 2009, the unthinkable happened. 14 00:00:38,597 --> 00:00:41,031 - I'm not picking her up. - What? 15 00:00:41,133 --> 00:00:43,328 Lily doesn't want me taking a cab all the way to the airport 16 00:00:43,435 --> 00:00:45,926 just to take a cab all the way back, you know? 17 00:00:46,038 --> 00:00:47,198 But the six-pack thing. 18 00:00:47,306 --> 00:00:50,469 Ted, that stuff was fun when we were younger, 19 00:00:50,576 --> 00:00:55,310 but we've grown past that. As we mature, the relationship matures with us. 20 00:00:55,415 --> 00:00:58,009 But, I mean, you guys are such an inspiration to the rest of us, 21 00:00:58,117 --> 00:01:00,551 how you're so devoted and connected. 22 00:01:00,653 --> 00:01:04,248 I look at you guys, and that's all I want in the whole world. 23 00:01:04,357 --> 00:01:06,848 Ted, there's two college girls outside, and they look easy! 24 00:01:09,830 --> 00:01:10,956 So, Arizona... 25 00:01:11,065 --> 00:01:14,501 You know, I've always wanted to see what an Arizona driver's license looks like. 26 00:01:14,602 --> 00:01:16,399 I already ran that play, bro. They're 21. We're good. 27 00:01:16,503 --> 00:01:19,028 Thank God. So, what brings you guys to town? 28 00:01:19,139 --> 00:01:20,538 Our band's got a gig. 29 00:01:20,641 --> 00:01:23,372 You're in a band? Hey, maybe we can come see you play. 30 00:01:23,478 --> 00:01:25,275 Excuse us for a sec. 31 00:01:26,615 --> 00:01:28,207 Ted, what the hell is the matter with you? 32 00:01:28,316 --> 00:01:30,876 - We're not gonna go see them play. - Why not? 33 00:01:30,986 --> 00:01:34,353 If we see them play, we're no better than the bleach-blonde bimbos 34 00:01:34,456 --> 00:01:37,017 who flash their boobs at a Van Halen concert. 35 00:01:37,126 --> 00:01:40,220 Yeah, but don't those girls get to have sex with Van Halen after the show? 36 00:01:40,329 --> 00:01:43,389 If you want to have sex with Van Halen, do it on your own time, Ted. 37 00:01:43,499 --> 00:01:46,127 We are not the "maybe we can come see you play" guys. 38 00:01:46,235 --> 00:01:47,224 We're the other guys, 39 00:01:47,336 --> 00:01:52,001 the older guys who never showed up and whose approval they now crave. 40 00:01:52,909 --> 00:01:55,742 - So, we're their dads? - Exactly. 41 00:01:55,846 --> 00:01:57,006 Okay. 42 00:01:58,048 --> 00:02:00,846 It's a big meeting, so I don't think we're gonna make it. 43 00:02:00,951 --> 00:02:02,851 Maybe next time, kiddos. 44 00:02:02,953 --> 00:02:04,420 But if you guys want to meet up after your show, 45 00:02:04,521 --> 00:02:07,616 - maybe we could exchange numbers... - Excuse us for a minute. 46 00:02:09,093 --> 00:02:13,029 Ted, have you gone completely insane? We don't want their phone numbers. 47 00:02:13,131 --> 00:02:16,567 Yeah. I don't know what I was doing. I guess I panicked out there. 48 00:02:16,668 --> 00:02:18,761 When you exchange numbers with a chick, 49 00:02:18,870 --> 00:02:21,431 you give them the ability to call and cancel. 50 00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:24,771 If you set a date without a number, they have to show up. 51 00:02:24,877 --> 00:02:27,243 Check and mate! 52 00:02:27,846 --> 00:02:30,246 The only digits I need are these. 53 00:02:32,017 --> 00:02:33,245 Honka. 54 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,247 Are you still their dad? 55 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,721 So, why don't we just meet here tomorrow night around 10:00? 56 00:02:40,827 --> 00:02:44,558 I think it's supposed to snow. What do we do if there's a blizzard? 57 00:02:44,664 --> 00:02:48,065 - Either way, we'll be here. - Snow problem. 58 00:02:49,336 --> 00:02:51,668 Excuse us just one last second. 59 00:02:52,540 --> 00:02:54,531 What is the problem now? 60 00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,265 Nice one. 61 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:57,901 - Thanks. - Yeah. 62 00:02:58,479 --> 00:02:59,446 All right, we'll see you tomorrow night. 63 00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:01,276 - Totally. - Awesome! 64 00:03:02,183 --> 00:03:05,676 "Totally. " "Awesome!" Man, these college chicks sound stupid. 65 00:03:05,787 --> 00:03:06,845 - Totally. - Awesome. 66 00:03:06,955 --> 00:03:12,120 So, here's the thing, tomorrow night, dress to move, it's gonna be a mess! 67 00:03:12,227 --> 00:03:14,627 I still think we should've gotten their numbers. 68 00:03:14,730 --> 00:03:17,164 You always assume something is gonna go wrong. 69 00:03:17,265 --> 00:03:20,702 Ted, I promise you, nothing is gonna go wrong. 70 00:03:20,803 --> 00:03:23,237 Hey, it's starting to snow. 71 00:03:48,800 --> 00:03:51,428 Kids, the blizzard of '09 was a monster. 72 00:03:51,536 --> 00:03:56,405 It snowed for three days straight, which led to three amazing stories. 73 00:03:56,508 --> 00:03:57,805 I'll start with me and Barney. 74 00:03:57,909 --> 00:04:00,571 It's pretty nasty out there. I don't think they're coming. 75 00:04:00,678 --> 00:04:02,704 Of course they're coming. They have to. 76 00:04:02,815 --> 00:04:07,013 If I can land just one of these girls, I'll have party school bingo. 77 00:04:11,457 --> 00:04:15,588 - Come on, Ted. You're the only one here. - Oh, sorry. What's party school bingo? 78 00:04:16,663 --> 00:04:20,827 Every year, Playboy releases a list of the top party schools in the country. 79 00:04:20,934 --> 00:04:24,802 I take the top 25, and I make up a bingo card. 80 00:04:25,772 --> 00:04:29,401 All I need is Arizona Tech, which is crazy. 81 00:04:29,509 --> 00:04:32,707 In league play, that would normally be designated a free space. 82 00:04:32,814 --> 00:04:36,511 So, how many people are in on this party school bingo thing? 83 00:04:36,617 --> 00:04:39,643 - Oh, it's just me. - So what's the point, then? 84 00:04:39,754 --> 00:04:42,655 The point is to get five in a row. 85 00:04:43,791 --> 00:04:46,693 And what do you get when you get five in a row? 86 00:04:48,630 --> 00:04:50,495 I get bingo. 87 00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:53,798 Thanks for coming by. 88 00:04:53,902 --> 00:04:55,995 I monkeyed around with the thermostat for about an hour 89 00:04:56,104 --> 00:05:00,474 - before I realized it was the intercom. - Yeah, I heard you swearing downstairs. 90 00:05:00,577 --> 00:05:05,071 Hey, so, Lily's flight's coming in tonight. You're really not gonna go pick her up? 91 00:05:05,181 --> 00:05:11,950 Robin, Robin, like I said, as we mature, our relationship matures with us. 92 00:05:12,055 --> 00:05:16,618 Yeah, well, if I know your wife, she's gonna get you that six-pack anyway. 93 00:05:18,662 --> 00:05:21,961 Marshall? Marshall? 94 00:05:22,766 --> 00:05:27,635 Puget Stout. A most exquisite Seattle microbrew. 95 00:05:27,739 --> 00:05:29,934 And speaking of six-packs... 96 00:05:36,281 --> 00:05:38,749 - What are you doing? - I'm going to the airport. 97 00:05:38,850 --> 00:05:41,819 How could I be so stupid? Of course she's bringing me a six-pack! 98 00:05:41,953 --> 00:05:45,014 But this time, I didn't bring him a six-pack. 99 00:05:45,124 --> 00:05:49,322 Because as we mature, the relationship matures with us. 100 00:05:50,229 --> 00:05:52,789 Well, he sounds like a nice young man. 101 00:05:53,165 --> 00:05:56,863 I'll bet he surprises you and picks you up anyway. 102 00:05:59,473 --> 00:06:01,964 - Oh, baby. - Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 103 00:06:03,277 --> 00:06:06,405 - Where's my beer? - We said we weren't gonna. 104 00:06:08,949 --> 00:06:10,109 I have beer. 105 00:06:10,217 --> 00:06:13,381 Wow. A six-pack and you're an appropriate height for me. 106 00:06:13,488 --> 00:06:15,285 Let's go, New Lily. 107 00:06:17,358 --> 00:06:19,349 Oh, man, I got to get some beer. 108 00:06:19,460 --> 00:06:21,018 Folks, this is your captain speaking. 109 00:06:21,129 --> 00:06:24,030 Looks like we're going to be arriving an hour early. 110 00:06:24,132 --> 00:06:25,258 Yes! 111 00:06:26,735 --> 00:06:28,669 Drink up, boys. I'm closing the bar. 112 00:06:28,771 --> 00:06:32,400 - Whoa, no! It's only 9:00. - And this place is raging, yo! 113 00:06:34,243 --> 00:06:37,440 Guys, I'm really sorry, but I got to go set up cots in the church basement. 114 00:06:37,546 --> 00:06:39,514 It doubles as a shelter on snowy nights like this. 115 00:06:39,615 --> 00:06:41,015 You selfish bastard! 116 00:06:41,117 --> 00:06:43,642 There are two very hot girls coming here to meet us. 117 00:06:43,753 --> 00:06:45,618 Can't you just leave the place open a little while longer? 118 00:06:45,722 --> 00:06:48,213 - We'll keep an eye on everything. - You two? No way. 119 00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:50,225 You wouldn't know the first thing about running a bar. 120 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:53,922 - Serve the hotties first? - Here's the keys. 121 00:06:59,203 --> 00:07:00,500 Here's the keys. 122 00:07:00,604 --> 00:07:03,971 As soon as your girls show up, you turn off the lights and you lock up. 123 00:07:04,075 --> 00:07:06,509 And I don't want to come back here and find this place trashed. 124 00:07:06,610 --> 00:07:08,805 - Wow, seriously? - I can trust you guys. 125 00:07:08,913 --> 00:07:11,542 To understand what it meant to us to get the keys to MacLaren's, 126 00:07:11,650 --> 00:07:15,381 I have to take you back a few years, to the night that I uttered five little words 127 00:07:15,487 --> 00:07:18,115 that every man, at some point in his life, will say. 128 00:07:18,223 --> 00:07:21,750 - We should buy a bar. - Of course, we should buy a bar! 129 00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:25,058 - We should totally buy a bar. - We should totally buy a bar. 130 00:07:25,164 --> 00:07:30,830 - Our bar would be awesome. - And dude, dude, dude, dude, 131 00:07:32,171 --> 00:07:35,470 the name of our bar, Puzzles. 132 00:07:36,642 --> 00:07:39,009 People will be like, "Why is it called Puzzles?" 133 00:07:39,113 --> 00:07:40,944 That's the puzzle. 134 00:07:41,582 --> 00:07:44,517 That is 135 00:07:44,618 --> 00:07:47,086 a great name for a bar! 136 00:07:47,187 --> 00:07:51,521 - And also, at Puzzles, no last call. - No last call! 137 00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:55,858 Only when every single person is finished having the greatest night of his or her life 138 00:07:55,964 --> 00:07:57,397 do we stack the chairs on the table 139 00:07:57,499 --> 00:08:00,935 and power down the three-story margarita waterfall. 140 00:08:01,036 --> 00:08:03,834 - We should buy a bar. - We should buy a bar. 141 00:08:03,938 --> 00:08:06,168 And like the other ill-advised five-word sentences 142 00:08:06,274 --> 00:08:08,209 every man eventually says in his life... 143 00:08:08,811 --> 00:08:10,642 I can jump that far. 144 00:08:11,213 --> 00:08:12,771 I'm gonna win her back. 145 00:08:13,516 --> 00:08:14,642 I can trust you guys. 146 00:08:14,750 --> 00:08:17,844 ...we would come to regret it. We just didn't know it yet. 147 00:08:18,054 --> 00:08:21,957 Aruba, Jamaica ooh I wanna take ya 148 00:08:22,059 --> 00:08:25,961 Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama 149 00:08:26,063 --> 00:08:29,328 Key Largo, Montego baby why don't we go 150 00:08:29,433 --> 00:08:32,459 Ooh I wanna take you down to Kokomo 151 00:08:32,569 --> 00:08:36,563 We'll get there fast and then we'll take it slow 152 00:08:36,674 --> 00:08:41,839 That's where we wanna go way down in Kokomo 153 00:08:44,082 --> 00:08:46,983 You have it? Awesome, I'll be right there. 154 00:08:48,352 --> 00:08:50,787 - Ranjit! - Hello. 155 00:08:50,889 --> 00:08:54,017 - I'm Rachel Sondheimer. - Wait a minute, Lily. 156 00:08:54,126 --> 00:08:57,721 If you are getting off the plane, where is Marshall? 157 00:08:57,830 --> 00:08:59,195 And where is your six-pack? 158 00:08:59,298 --> 00:09:04,201 That's the problem. I have to get to Brewniverse in East Meadow in an hour. 159 00:09:04,303 --> 00:09:06,795 - To the Town Car! - Thank you. 160 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:11,736 - Barkeep, Triple Sec. - Coming right up, tap-minder. 161 00:09:12,912 --> 00:09:13,901 - Hey! - Hey! 162 00:09:15,415 --> 00:09:16,973 We'll get one. 163 00:09:18,751 --> 00:09:21,050 - Order up! - Order up. Okay. 164 00:09:24,125 --> 00:09:27,390 - We'll get one. - Oh, thank God you're still here. 165 00:09:27,495 --> 00:09:29,429 I don't know if you guys have ever seen Star Wars, 166 00:09:29,530 --> 00:09:32,158 - but it's like Hoth out there. - Dibs. 167 00:09:32,266 --> 00:09:36,670 It reminds me of when I used to go sledding with my dad, before he left. 168 00:09:36,771 --> 00:09:40,366 - And dibs. - So, can we warm you up with a drink? 169 00:09:40,475 --> 00:09:44,206 Sure. Oh, by the way, I invited the rest of the band to come and meet us. 170 00:09:44,312 --> 00:09:47,110 We were hoping to get drunk. I mean, really drunk. 171 00:09:47,215 --> 00:09:51,209 - Like my dad used to. - Dibsity, dibsity, dibsity. 172 00:09:51,821 --> 00:09:54,153 Well, I guess we could keep the place open a little bit longer. 173 00:09:54,257 --> 00:09:56,225 As long as it's just you and the band. 174 00:09:58,928 --> 00:10:01,863 Melissa, what kind of band is this? 175 00:10:01,964 --> 00:10:04,763 We're the Arizona Tech Fighting Hens Marching Band. 176 00:10:04,868 --> 00:10:06,768 - Go, Hens! - Go, Hens! 177 00:10:06,870 --> 00:10:08,394 And then, your Uncle Barney and I 178 00:10:08,505 --> 00:10:10,996 had one of our telepathic conversations. 179 00:10:11,108 --> 00:10:15,738 Dude, Carl's gonna kill us if we don't kick everyone out of here right now. 180 00:10:15,879 --> 00:10:19,941 Aruba, Jamaica ooh I wanna take ya 181 00:10:20,118 --> 00:10:23,610 Barney, I'm serious. We promised we wouldn't mess the place up. 182 00:10:23,721 --> 00:10:27,714 Bermuda, Bahama come on pretty mama 183 00:10:28,326 --> 00:10:29,588 All right, I guess you have a point. 184 00:10:31,062 --> 00:10:33,054 The bar is open! 185 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,559 Who wants a beer, huh? 186 00:10:39,605 --> 00:10:41,470 I still say this is stupid. 187 00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:45,101 What happened to, "As we mature, the relationship matures with us"? 188 00:10:45,211 --> 00:10:48,704 That's just something Lily read in Psychology Today. 189 00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:53,749 All right, she read it in Cosmo. All right, I read it in Cosmo. 190 00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:56,720 All right, it was Cosmo Girl! Just drive, okay? 191 00:10:56,823 --> 00:11:00,554 I just don't get why it's such a big deal that one little ritual goes by the wayside. 192 00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:04,324 It's not just this, okay? It's all of our little rituals. 193 00:11:05,032 --> 00:11:08,058 Do you know what we used to do every day, the second I got home? 194 00:11:08,169 --> 00:11:11,661 Man, I don't want to hear about your crazy monkey sex. 195 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:14,869 We would tell each other what we had to eat that day. 196 00:11:16,211 --> 00:11:20,272 Two eggs, a slice of cheese pizza and some steamed veggies. 197 00:11:20,382 --> 00:11:22,282 Everything bagel, chicken breast, 198 00:11:22,384 --> 00:11:25,512 some celery sticks and a spoon of peanut butter. 199 00:11:26,388 --> 00:11:28,948 - Crazy monkey sex? - Crazy monkey sex. 200 00:11:32,495 --> 00:11:36,556 Lily, TMI, too many informations. 201 00:11:36,666 --> 00:11:40,227 And you know what else I miss? Our lunchtime phone call. 202 00:11:40,837 --> 00:11:43,499 Hey, baby, it's lunchtime, and I love you. 203 00:11:44,307 --> 00:11:46,435 I reciprocate in principle, 204 00:11:46,543 --> 00:11:51,276 although with the caveat that there seems to be a bit of a surplus here on my end. 205 00:11:51,382 --> 00:11:53,907 No, I love you more. 206 00:11:54,785 --> 00:11:58,653 Do we need to get in a room together and bang this thing out? 207 00:12:01,393 --> 00:12:06,490 Those sound like agreeable terms, although I may need to adjust my briefs. 208 00:12:08,967 --> 00:12:10,525 Love you, too. 209 00:12:11,269 --> 00:12:16,105 But today when she called, I let it go to voicemail. Voicemail! 210 00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:17,573 How could you? 211 00:12:17,677 --> 00:12:20,874 The thing I miss most is kissing at midnight on New Year's Eve. 212 00:12:21,047 --> 00:12:25,108 It was a New Year's tradition. But you know what we did this year? 213 00:12:26,018 --> 00:12:27,952 - Crazy monkey sex? - No. 214 00:12:31,692 --> 00:12:34,183 Okay, all these cute, adorable little rituals? 215 00:12:34,294 --> 00:12:35,761 - Yeah. - They're stupid. 216 00:12:35,862 --> 00:12:39,992 Telling each other what you had to eat? You're like children playing house. 217 00:12:40,100 --> 00:12:43,127 Well, maybe you just think they're stupid 218 00:12:43,237 --> 00:12:45,000 because you've never been in a relationship 219 00:12:45,106 --> 00:12:46,767 long enough to develop them. 220 00:12:46,874 --> 00:12:49,342 - What? - Yeah, you don't understand love, okay? 221 00:12:49,444 --> 00:12:53,175 You're like some robot who sees a person crying and says, 222 00:12:53,281 --> 00:12:55,875 "Why is that human leaking?" 223 00:12:55,983 --> 00:12:57,645 - Is that right? - Yeah. 224 00:12:57,753 --> 00:12:59,550 Well, then, robot initiating 225 00:12:59,655 --> 00:13:04,319 pull-over-to-the-side-of-the-road- until-jackass-apologizes-to-me sequence. 226 00:13:10,699 --> 00:13:13,897 My robot was, like, a million times better. 227 00:13:17,841 --> 00:13:21,004 Hey, just so you know, the trough in the bathroom is overflowing. 228 00:13:21,111 --> 00:13:25,571 There's no trough in the bathroom. And you just came out of the kitchen. 229 00:13:26,751 --> 00:13:30,118 Ted, what's in a gin and tonic? What's in a gin and tonic? 230 00:13:30,221 --> 00:13:32,883 Okay, running a bar sucks. Let's just close up. 231 00:13:32,990 --> 00:13:34,787 No! No! There's no last call. 232 00:13:36,060 --> 00:13:37,254 Puzzles, go for Barney. 233 00:13:37,495 --> 00:13:39,360 Good. You're still there. I'll be there in five. 234 00:13:41,299 --> 00:13:42,459 Last call! 235 00:13:48,774 --> 00:13:50,833 Robin, there's a snowplow coming. We have to get back on the road. 236 00:13:50,942 --> 00:13:54,002 You think the only way to be in love is to have pet names. 237 00:13:54,112 --> 00:13:56,138 Or leave each other stupid, little notes, 238 00:13:56,249 --> 00:13:59,844 or go charging off into a blizzard for no good reason. 239 00:13:59,952 --> 00:14:01,852 Do you understand what's gonna happen if that plow comes by? 240 00:14:01,954 --> 00:14:02,943 You know what you are? 241 00:14:03,055 --> 00:14:04,215 - You're a love snob. - Okay. 242 00:14:04,323 --> 00:14:06,484 There's lots of ways to be in a relationship, 243 00:14:06,592 --> 00:14:09,528 and you would know that if you ever left your little love snob country club. 244 00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:12,292 We're going to get buried by snow. That's going to happen. 245 00:14:12,399 --> 00:14:16,062 No, screw this. I'm not going to sit here and be insulted. 246 00:14:16,170 --> 00:14:18,695 We're not going to the airport. We're going home. 247 00:14:22,109 --> 00:14:23,872 What just happened? 248 00:14:28,817 --> 00:14:32,753 Hey, hey, hi. We called earlier about the Seattle microbrew. 249 00:14:32,854 --> 00:14:36,415 Yeah, good thing you called when you did. I was getting ready to close up. 250 00:14:36,524 --> 00:14:38,720 Storm of the century out there. 251 00:14:38,828 --> 00:14:43,697 Of course, it's only '09, so storm of the century might be a little bit premature. 252 00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:47,667 Let's say storm of the year. Although, it is only January. 253 00:14:47,770 --> 00:14:51,228 We're kind of in a hurry, so we'll take the beer now. 254 00:14:51,974 --> 00:14:53,306 You are a cute couple. 255 00:14:53,410 --> 00:14:55,173 - Thank you. - We're not a couple. 256 00:14:55,278 --> 00:14:57,644 Thank God. That would be weird. 257 00:14:58,415 --> 00:15:03,375 Well, here she is. Supersonic Tonic. 258 00:15:04,020 --> 00:15:06,989 No. This is a keg. I need a six-pack. 259 00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:09,116 - A keg's all I got. - We'll take the keg. 260 00:15:09,227 --> 00:15:12,719 What? Oh, no. Last time I had one of these in the car, 261 00:15:12,830 --> 00:15:17,096 I wound up chipping dried vomit off the seat with a putty knife. 262 00:15:17,201 --> 00:15:21,695 I'm sorry, Ranjit, but this is a ritual, and I am bringing him this beer. 263 00:15:23,675 --> 00:15:26,269 If you could just put it in the car. 264 00:15:26,678 --> 00:15:29,647 - I'll give you 50 bucks. - To the Town Car. 265 00:15:35,587 --> 00:15:38,648 Look, Robin, I'm sorry. You're not a robot. 266 00:15:39,926 --> 00:15:42,827 I mean, if you are, you're an incredibly advanced model, 267 00:15:42,929 --> 00:15:45,762 and the human race doesn't stand a chance. 268 00:15:46,266 --> 00:15:51,000 You just don't choose to show your love through corny rituals, and that's fine. 269 00:15:51,105 --> 00:15:53,903 But maybe the reason Lily and I do is because we always have, 270 00:15:54,008 --> 00:15:56,704 and we don't know any other way. 271 00:15:56,810 --> 00:16:01,770 One thing I do know is that if she's there sitting at the airport alone, 272 00:16:01,882 --> 00:16:05,181 I have to go get her. Those are the rules. 273 00:16:07,722 --> 00:16:09,849 Marshall, close your eyes. 274 00:16:10,425 --> 00:16:13,394 I don't know how you heard any of that as me hitting on you, but... 275 00:16:13,495 --> 00:16:14,894 Just do it. 276 00:16:23,105 --> 00:16:25,266 Now, let's go get your woman. 277 00:16:26,142 --> 00:16:28,076 All right, come on. 278 00:16:28,177 --> 00:16:31,112 You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here. 279 00:16:31,213 --> 00:16:33,875 I've always wanted to say that. I mean, in a bar. 280 00:16:33,983 --> 00:16:36,248 I say it all the time at home. 281 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:39,354 Dude, someday we should buy a bar. 282 00:16:39,456 --> 00:16:42,983 And when we do, we are never going to have last call. 283 00:16:44,227 --> 00:16:48,391 Come on, Barney. We said no last call. We got to mean it. 284 00:16:48,498 --> 00:16:52,128 Well, what are we supposed to do? Carl's going to be here any minute. 285 00:16:52,236 --> 00:16:53,669 Only one thing we can do. 286 00:16:56,808 --> 00:17:01,973 Dude, running a bar is a pain in the ass. We should just stick with what we know. 287 00:17:03,214 --> 00:17:06,184 - We should start a band. - Of course we should start a band. 288 00:17:06,285 --> 00:17:08,185 How have we not started a band yet? 289 00:17:10,422 --> 00:17:14,984 Kids, sometimes in life, the planets align, everything links up, 290 00:17:15,094 --> 00:17:17,187 and your timing is perfect. 291 00:17:17,296 --> 00:17:19,424 - Marshall? - Lily? 292 00:17:20,934 --> 00:17:22,265 Marshall? 293 00:17:23,670 --> 00:17:24,830 Lily? 294 00:17:38,419 --> 00:17:40,887 This wasn't one of those times. 295 00:17:43,190 --> 00:17:46,421 - Where is she? - Seattle. 296 00:17:46,527 --> 00:17:49,622 - What? - Her flight's canceled. It never took off. 297 00:17:49,731 --> 00:17:52,427 No, no, she would've called me and... 298 00:17:56,471 --> 00:18:00,532 Hey, baby, it's me. My flight's been canceled because of some snowstorm 299 00:18:00,642 --> 00:18:05,774 and they couldn't rebook me till Thursday, so I'm stuck here for another two days. 300 00:18:05,882 --> 00:18:08,646 But it's lunchtime, and I love you. 301 00:18:10,286 --> 00:18:12,846 Like I said, this was a three-day storm. 302 00:18:12,955 --> 00:18:14,149 Tuesday... 303 00:18:14,257 --> 00:18:15,519 I still say this is stupid. 304 00:18:15,625 --> 00:18:17,253 Wednesday 305 00:18:18,462 --> 00:18:19,724 and Thursday. 306 00:18:19,830 --> 00:18:20,819 ...microbrew. 307 00:18:20,931 --> 00:18:23,331 So, on Tuesday, when Marshall heard that message... 308 00:18:23,434 --> 00:18:25,698 She's not coming in till Thursday. 309 00:18:25,803 --> 00:18:28,863 I mean, we came all the way down here, and she's not coming in till Thursday. 310 00:18:28,972 --> 00:18:30,634 I feel so stupid. 311 00:18:31,676 --> 00:18:35,009 Look, let's just... Let's not tell Lily about any of this, okay? 312 00:18:35,113 --> 00:18:37,274 Especially the part about you hitting on me. 313 00:18:37,382 --> 00:18:39,850 - I didn't hit on you. - Exactly. 314 00:18:41,686 --> 00:18:43,153 Then on Wednesday... 315 00:18:43,254 --> 00:18:45,746 Oh, man, I can't believe you drove all the way out there. 316 00:18:45,858 --> 00:18:46,825 Now you're just going to turn around 317 00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:48,689 and drive all the way out there again tomorrow. 318 00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,661 Yeah, no. This whole thing was a sign, you know? 319 00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:55,359 It's time to put that old ritual to bed. I'm not going to pick her up. 320 00:18:55,468 --> 00:19:00,133 - And Robin really hit on you? - Dude, it was weird. 321 00:19:00,941 --> 00:19:06,174 Bros, this party is awesome! You are true friends of the Fighting Hens. 322 00:19:06,279 --> 00:19:09,942 If you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask. 323 00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:12,678 Is the flute section seeing anyone? 324 00:19:15,189 --> 00:19:17,157 So, wait, you're really not gonna pick her up? 325 00:19:17,258 --> 00:19:18,225 Yeah, really. 326 00:19:18,326 --> 00:19:21,659 So, the New Year's kiss, the lunchtime phone calls, 327 00:19:21,763 --> 00:19:26,996 the whole "this is what I ate today" thing, you're really letting it all go? 328 00:19:28,303 --> 00:19:29,930 I really am. 329 00:19:30,038 --> 00:19:32,006 Which brings us to Thursday. 330 00:20:12,984 --> 00:20:16,647 A muffin, a pastrami sandwich and a bag of chips. 331 00:20:16,755 --> 00:20:19,883 And I know it's way past lunchtime, but I love you. 332 00:20:19,991 --> 00:20:25,258 More and more each day, I love you, Lily. Happy New Year. 333 00:20:31,771 --> 00:20:32,863 Wait, does this mean that I have to bring 334 00:20:32,972 --> 00:20:34,234 a marching band to the airport from now on? 335 00:20:34,340 --> 00:20:36,706 - Absolutely, it does. - Oh, crap. 336 00:20:48,755 --> 00:20:49,949 Go, Hens! Go, Hens! 337 00:20:53,360 --> 00:20:57,525 - Puzzles. - That is a great band name. 338 00:21:00,068 --> 00:21:01,626 Hey, have you seen Amanda? 339 00:21:02,503 --> 00:21:03,834 Bingo!