1 00:00:01,413 --> 00:00:03,973 In the spring of 2009, I'd been hired to design 2 00:00:04,082 --> 00:00:06,676 a new headquarters for Goliath National Bank. 3 00:00:06,785 --> 00:00:09,083 And I was eager to add as much of my voice as an architect 4 00:00:09,187 --> 00:00:10,950 into the plans as possible. 5 00:00:11,056 --> 00:00:15,049 Wood beams bathed in natural light in the atrium. 6 00:00:16,662 --> 00:00:18,323 They're gonna love it! 7 00:00:18,431 --> 00:00:22,162 There was only one problem, and his name was Bilson. 8 00:00:22,268 --> 00:00:24,793 Wood? Natural light? 9 00:00:25,004 --> 00:00:26,699 Uh, no! 10 00:00:26,806 --> 00:00:29,900 Natural light reminds the workers that there is an outside world 11 00:00:30,009 --> 00:00:32,308 where they have family and friends. 12 00:00:32,412 --> 00:00:34,437 We want to crush that! 13 00:00:34,548 --> 00:00:37,381 You show up in the dark, you go home in the dark. 14 00:00:37,484 --> 00:00:39,281 You spend your whole damn day 15 00:00:39,386 --> 00:00:40,546 in the dark! 16 00:00:41,521 --> 00:00:43,352 I need to hear Lily's voice. 17 00:00:43,723 --> 00:00:45,714 Who said you could leave? 18 00:00:46,626 --> 00:00:48,890 Bilson was killing every original idea I had. 19 00:00:49,797 --> 00:00:52,061 Then, one day, GNB took him off the project 20 00:00:52,166 --> 00:00:55,101 and created a new task force to oversee my designs. 21 00:00:55,203 --> 00:00:56,693 Suddenly, everything changed. 22 00:00:56,804 --> 00:00:59,796 We'll have a rooftop Zen garden for quiet contemplation. 23 00:00:59,907 --> 00:01:01,306 We'll have a reflecting pool in the lobby 24 00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:04,537 where local children can come to make wishes. 25 00:01:05,146 --> 00:01:07,512 The new GNB, a place of work 26 00:01:08,750 --> 00:01:10,342 that you can call home. 27 00:01:11,653 --> 00:01:13,553 Thank you, and, um, 28 00:01:14,556 --> 00:01:15,682 welcome home. 29 00:01:22,030 --> 00:01:25,932 Everything was going great, until one day, in the elevator... 30 00:01:29,472 --> 00:01:30,439 Whoa! 31 00:01:32,442 --> 00:01:33,966 Yeah, it's Ted. 32 00:01:34,410 --> 00:01:36,742 No, no, no, no. I did not approve that change 33 00:01:36,846 --> 00:01:39,314 for the blueprints for the new GNB headquarters 34 00:01:39,415 --> 00:01:42,350 for which I'm the head architect at only 30 years old. 35 00:01:43,386 --> 00:01:46,355 Yes, I'm single and I give to charity. 36 00:01:46,456 --> 00:01:48,482 What does that have to do with anything? 37 00:01:48,592 --> 00:01:50,856 All right, goodbye, Mr. Mayor. 38 00:01:52,763 --> 00:01:54,731 You know that was a fake phone call, don't you? 39 00:01:54,832 --> 00:01:58,632 Yes, and I also know that the new GNB headquarters project 40 00:01:58,736 --> 00:02:00,169 was scrapped last month. 41 00:02:01,105 --> 00:02:02,436 Nice try. 42 00:02:17,289 --> 00:02:19,849 Check out Scarlett Johansson at the Oscars. 43 00:02:19,958 --> 00:02:23,257 If I could nail any celebrity, it would definitely be Scarlett Johansson. 44 00:02:23,361 --> 00:02:26,661 Hot, talented, and nobody does that many Woody Allen movies 45 00:02:26,766 --> 00:02:28,825 without serious daddy issues. 46 00:02:28,935 --> 00:02:32,063 If I could nail any celebrity, it would be Lily. She's the star of my heart. 47 00:02:32,171 --> 00:02:33,138 Aw! 48 00:02:33,706 --> 00:02:35,901 For me, it'd be Hugh Jackman. 49 00:02:36,475 --> 00:02:40,571 You know, I don't know, celebrities, they're into some really weird sex stuff. 50 00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:41,738 Trust me. 51 00:02:41,847 --> 00:02:43,906 How would you know that? 52 00:02:44,985 --> 00:02:47,112 This is embarrassing, but I... 53 00:02:47,220 --> 00:02:48,949 I went home with a celebrity one night. 54 00:02:49,056 --> 00:02:52,048 Oh, my God! Seriously? 55 00:02:52,159 --> 00:02:55,185 Yeah. He wanted to do this really freaky thing with me, 56 00:02:55,295 --> 00:02:57,627 so I left. That's it. End of story. 57 00:02:57,731 --> 00:02:59,892 No, no, not end of story. 58 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:03,368 I need to know who, what, when and in where. Spill it! 59 00:03:03,471 --> 00:03:06,872 Lily, please settle down. You're swallowing too much air. 60 00:03:06,975 --> 00:03:08,602 But before you go any further, 61 00:03:08,710 --> 00:03:11,474 I'm flattered, but technically, I'm not a celebrity. 62 00:03:11,579 --> 00:03:15,379 And plus, for the last time, I put the mask on as a joke. 63 00:03:15,483 --> 00:03:17,246 Okay, not you, Barney. 64 00:03:17,352 --> 00:03:18,376 Okay, who is it? 65 00:03:19,587 --> 00:03:22,819 Okay, now you gave Lily the hiccups. 66 00:03:22,925 --> 00:03:25,189 Okay, I won't tell you anything specific, 67 00:03:25,294 --> 00:03:29,663 but all I'll say is he is Canadian-born, but you definitely know this guy, 68 00:03:29,765 --> 00:03:31,062 and he got me back to his place 69 00:03:31,166 --> 00:03:34,363 by offering to show me a very unique collection. 70 00:03:34,470 --> 00:03:35,437 What do you mean, collection? 71 00:03:35,537 --> 00:03:38,973 Well, you know how some people collect, like, stamps or coins? It's like that. 72 00:03:39,074 --> 00:03:40,063 But I'm not telling. 73 00:03:40,175 --> 00:03:42,337 Well, at least tell us the weird thing he wanted to do. 74 00:03:42,445 --> 00:03:44,436 I don't know what you call it in the States, 75 00:03:44,547 --> 00:03:46,310 but we have a name for it in Canada. 76 00:03:46,416 --> 00:03:48,680 Look, I've already said too much. 77 00:03:48,785 --> 00:03:52,448 So, mystery celebrity who collects a mystery item 78 00:03:52,555 --> 00:03:55,922 asked you to do a mystery Canadian sex act. 79 00:03:56,326 --> 00:03:57,418 - Yes. - Tell us! 80 00:03:58,662 --> 00:04:00,323 Okay, I'll tell you. 81 00:04:00,430 --> 00:04:04,128 But only if you guess all three parts correctly. 82 00:04:04,235 --> 00:04:06,897 - Well, that's just impossible. - Exactly. 83 00:04:07,038 --> 00:04:09,233 I don't even know any Canadian sex acts. 84 00:04:09,340 --> 00:04:10,807 Well, you got your Sloppy Dog Sled, 85 00:04:10,908 --> 00:04:13,638 your Alberta Fur Trapper, your Full Mountie... 86 00:04:13,744 --> 00:04:15,109 How do you know all these? 87 00:04:15,212 --> 00:04:17,976 Canadiansexacts. org, it's bookmarked on the top right. 88 00:04:18,082 --> 00:04:20,574 - "Dot org"? - Yeah. It's not for profit. 89 00:04:20,686 --> 00:04:22,517 They really just want to get the information out there. 90 00:04:23,021 --> 00:04:26,616 Hey, so, I just had the weirdest conversation. 91 00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:30,627 This woman at GNB told me that the new bank building was scrapped last month. 92 00:04:30,729 --> 00:04:32,356 That's crazy, right? 93 00:04:33,098 --> 00:04:34,429 Wait, what... What was that look? 94 00:04:34,533 --> 00:04:35,625 - Should we tell him? - I don't want to tell him. 95 00:04:35,734 --> 00:04:36,996 - I think we should tell him. - We're not telling him. 96 00:04:37,102 --> 00:04:38,069 There was no look. 97 00:04:38,170 --> 00:04:39,934 Guys, what the hell? 98 00:04:40,039 --> 00:04:42,030 Okay, it's time that you know the truth. 99 00:04:42,141 --> 00:04:45,269 A few weeks ago, Bilson called us into his office. 100 00:04:46,012 --> 00:04:48,742 We're scrapping the plan for the new GNB headquarters. 101 00:04:49,182 --> 00:04:51,446 This recession is killing us. 102 00:04:51,551 --> 00:04:54,247 We're cutting anything non-essential. 103 00:04:54,353 --> 00:04:58,381 And I have a lot of tough choices to make at the bi-quarterly retreat in Saint Croix. 104 00:04:59,660 --> 00:05:01,525 Man, Ted is gonna be devastated. 105 00:05:01,628 --> 00:05:03,493 Not when he hears it coming from his best friend. 106 00:05:03,997 --> 00:05:05,658 - I have to tell him? - I have to tell him? 107 00:05:06,433 --> 00:05:07,832 You should tell him, you're his best friend. 108 00:05:07,935 --> 00:05:10,426 - Am not, you're his best friend. - Am not, you're his best... 109 00:05:10,537 --> 00:05:12,368 - Am... - Quiet, here he comes. 110 00:05:12,473 --> 00:05:16,432 What, the white dude or the Asian fellow? See? I barely know the guy. 111 00:05:16,543 --> 00:05:19,035 - Hey, Ted, what's up? - Hey, how're you doing? 112 00:05:19,147 --> 00:05:20,478 I'm frustrated. 113 00:05:20,582 --> 00:05:24,678 Anything innovative I put in my designs, Bilson just hacks out with a machete. 114 00:05:24,786 --> 00:05:27,016 I hate having to answer to a guy like that. 115 00:05:27,122 --> 00:05:28,146 You should drop the project. 116 00:05:28,256 --> 00:05:30,554 You should totally drop the project. It's beneath you. 117 00:05:30,658 --> 00:05:32,592 Then it's settled. To Ted Mosby's new chapter. 118 00:05:32,694 --> 00:05:34,127 May the wind be at your back, and may the road... 119 00:05:34,229 --> 00:05:37,461 Are you kidding? They just laid off another architect at my firm. 120 00:05:37,566 --> 00:05:40,000 I mean, Bilson's a pain, sure, 121 00:05:40,102 --> 00:05:42,969 but without this project, I'm probably out of a job. 122 00:05:43,072 --> 00:05:45,563 Right. Um, it's funny that you mention the project, 123 00:05:45,674 --> 00:05:47,301 - because... - You're nailing it. 124 00:05:47,409 --> 00:05:48,637 Keep up the good work, buddy. 125 00:05:48,744 --> 00:05:53,113 Your hair and teeth look fantastic today. You're shining like a diamond! 126 00:05:54,917 --> 00:05:57,113 Thank you. I needed that. 127 00:05:57,854 --> 00:05:59,788 All right, I'm going to head upstairs and keep working. 128 00:05:59,890 --> 00:06:03,656 I've got to find a way to introduce some wood into Bilson's dark atrium. 129 00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:06,462 I think you know what I meant. 130 00:06:09,132 --> 00:06:12,226 - What was that? - I... I have a thought, okay? 131 00:06:12,335 --> 00:06:15,328 We're paying Ted's firm for two more months of design work, no matter what, 132 00:06:15,439 --> 00:06:19,239 so couldn't we just let him keep working and not tell him? 133 00:06:19,343 --> 00:06:23,006 He's had a rough year. Let's let the guy be happy a little while longer. 134 00:06:23,114 --> 00:06:27,141 Marshall, what you're suggesting is an elaborate, long-term lie 135 00:06:27,251 --> 00:06:29,378 that requires tremendous commitment. 136 00:06:29,487 --> 00:06:32,183 A nice guy like you can't pull that off. 137 00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:34,919 - Sure I can. - Lie to me right now. 138 00:06:35,027 --> 00:06:37,393 Okay. I have a spaceship. 139 00:06:37,496 --> 00:06:40,624 - What kind of fuel powers your spaceship? - Okay, I don't have a spaceship. 140 00:06:40,732 --> 00:06:44,395 No! Stand your ground. If someone questions you, 141 00:06:44,503 --> 00:06:46,971 distract them from the original lie with more lies. 142 00:06:47,072 --> 00:06:50,872 Here, let me demonstrate. I own a pony. Ask me a question. 143 00:06:50,976 --> 00:06:53,241 Okay. Um... 144 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:55,472 What color is your pony? 145 00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,915 Well, when I first got Dandelion, she was a deep chestnut brown, 146 00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:02,044 but sadly, her stable is located near a chemical plant 147 00:07:02,155 --> 00:07:03,645 which contaminated the drinking water. 148 00:07:03,756 --> 00:07:07,783 So over time, she's turned a sickly, grayish-white color, 149 00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:10,988 and there's nothing that the vet can do to fix her. 150 00:07:11,097 --> 00:07:15,194 My God! I'm... That's horrible. Is Dandelion going to be okay? 151 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:19,368 - Okay. All right. You are good! - Huh? 152 00:07:19,473 --> 00:07:21,941 Dandelion's not even sick, is she? 153 00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:28,008 So the building's really dead and you guys lied to me? 154 00:07:28,115 --> 00:07:30,379 We just did it to protect you, Ted. 155 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:33,352 I can't believe this. I just got screwed by my two best friends, 156 00:07:33,455 --> 00:07:35,480 and I didn't even know it. 157 00:07:37,092 --> 00:07:39,856 In Canada, that's called a "Sneaky Snowplow. " 158 00:07:45,367 --> 00:07:49,269 That building was my dream job, and now, it's just gone. 159 00:07:49,371 --> 00:07:52,341 - We're so sorry, Ted. - I need a drink. 160 00:07:53,142 --> 00:07:54,439 Poor Ted. 161 00:07:55,111 --> 00:07:57,978 Would I seem heartless if I switched us back to Canadian Sex Acts? 162 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:00,048 - Not at all. - I'm surprised you waited this long. 163 00:08:00,149 --> 00:08:02,379 What the hell is a Two-Hand Zamboni? 164 00:08:02,485 --> 00:08:07,013 Let's just say the only thing the woman is wearing is skates on her hands. 165 00:08:07,823 --> 00:08:09,758 A Manitoba Milk Bag? 166 00:08:09,860 --> 00:08:11,555 Okay, it's like a Chicago Mustache, 167 00:08:11,662 --> 00:08:14,859 but the person on the bottom is wearing a snowsuit. 168 00:08:14,965 --> 00:08:18,901 - A Newfoundland Lobster Trap? - Don't know. Don't want to know. 169 00:08:19,002 --> 00:08:20,970 Those Newfies are out of control. 170 00:08:21,071 --> 00:08:23,039 Okay! Okay, I'm going to make my first guess. 171 00:08:23,140 --> 00:08:24,505 Okay, but I'll only tell you 172 00:08:24,608 --> 00:08:28,670 if you correctly guess the person, the act and the collection. 173 00:08:28,780 --> 00:08:31,647 Okay, I'm going to go. Bryan Adams. 174 00:08:31,749 --> 00:08:37,585 He collects baseball cards, and he wanted to do a Greasy Kayak. 175 00:08:38,323 --> 00:08:39,381 No. 176 00:08:39,857 --> 00:08:44,419 Wayne Gretzky, vintage Hot Wheels, a Squatting Eskimo. 177 00:08:44,862 --> 00:08:47,194 - No. - Mmm! Kiefer Sutherland, 178 00:08:47,298 --> 00:08:51,326 souvenir shot glasses, and a Sticky Flapjack. 179 00:08:52,037 --> 00:08:54,198 No. That I would have done. 180 00:08:55,174 --> 00:08:56,266 Wait. 181 00:08:56,375 --> 00:08:58,969 Wait, if they pulled the plug on the project a month ago, 182 00:08:59,078 --> 00:09:00,477 why have I been going in once a week 183 00:09:00,579 --> 00:09:02,843 to meet with the New Headquarters Task Force? 184 00:09:02,948 --> 00:09:05,883 Well, obviously you couldn't come in and pitch to Bilson. 185 00:09:05,985 --> 00:09:09,046 So, we invented the task force. 186 00:09:09,622 --> 00:09:12,455 Then it was just a question of putting together the team. 187 00:09:13,326 --> 00:09:17,023 You know Roy Waterman, Vice-President of Capital and Risk? 188 00:09:17,130 --> 00:09:19,724 He's actually Roy the janitor. 189 00:09:19,833 --> 00:09:23,496 Hey. Excuse me, Roy. How'd you like to make a few extra bucks? 190 00:09:24,938 --> 00:09:27,100 How naked do I have to get? 191 00:09:28,209 --> 00:09:31,440 Louisa Mendoza, Executive Vice-President of Assets? 192 00:09:31,545 --> 00:09:34,981 She's actually Louisa the lunch lady. 193 00:09:35,082 --> 00:09:38,609 Louisa, I need your help with something, but you can't tell anybody. 194 00:09:41,355 --> 00:09:44,085 Exactly. This is a big secret. 195 00:09:44,191 --> 00:09:46,285 How do you say "secret" in Spanish? 196 00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:50,696 Ah. Yes, albóndigas. 197 00:09:51,466 --> 00:09:55,061 This will be our little albóndigas. 198 00:09:56,371 --> 00:09:58,271 Hey, can I have a couple of meatballs, please? 199 00:09:59,441 --> 00:10:03,241 And Arthur Naismith, the eccentric genius guru of corporate investments? 200 00:10:03,980 --> 00:10:08,508 He's actually Crazy Arty, 15th Street's own one-man band. 201 00:10:08,918 --> 00:10:09,907 - Excuse me. - Ah! 202 00:10:10,019 --> 00:10:11,043 Do you have a minute to talk? 203 00:10:11,154 --> 00:10:14,988 Actually, my assistant, Reginald, makes all my appointments. 204 00:10:19,562 --> 00:10:21,723 We rounded out the group with a few interns 205 00:10:21,831 --> 00:10:25,825 and paid everyone 50 bucks to act super-interested in what you were saying. 206 00:10:32,342 --> 00:10:35,277 Reginald, get me out of this for next week. 207 00:10:36,046 --> 00:10:40,039 That was some of the most inspired design work I've done in my entire career. 208 00:10:40,150 --> 00:10:41,811 I was so excited. 209 00:10:44,389 --> 00:10:47,586 Alex Trebek, a Musty Goaltender, Beanie Babies! 210 00:10:47,692 --> 00:10:48,989 - Nope. - Damn it! 211 00:10:49,527 --> 00:10:53,293 Wait. So that explains the thing that happened with Louisa. 212 00:10:53,765 --> 00:10:55,995 - Good job, buddy. - Nice, nice! 213 00:10:59,404 --> 00:11:04,104 Listen, Louisa. What are we going to do about this? 214 00:11:06,345 --> 00:11:08,074 Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about. 215 00:11:08,180 --> 00:11:10,205 I know you feel it, too. 216 00:11:10,916 --> 00:11:12,281 What the hell? 217 00:11:23,997 --> 00:11:26,761 No! No! No, this is wrong! 218 00:11:27,467 --> 00:11:30,265 For God's sake, you're on the task force! 219 00:11:32,839 --> 00:11:34,704 Is there anything else you want to tell me? 220 00:11:35,509 --> 00:11:39,913 Well, you know how you played third base for the GNB softball team? 221 00:11:40,348 --> 00:11:41,337 Yeah. 222 00:11:41,449 --> 00:11:43,508 There is no GNB softball team. 223 00:11:43,618 --> 00:11:46,280 We just rented out a field, rounded up a bunch of guys 224 00:11:46,387 --> 00:11:47,979 and told them to make you the hero. 225 00:11:48,956 --> 00:11:51,424 So my game-winning walk was a lie? 226 00:11:51,893 --> 00:11:54,020 We're sorry, Ted, but we knew that you'd be out of work soon, 227 00:11:54,128 --> 00:11:55,891 and we just... We just wanted to make you feel good. 228 00:11:55,997 --> 00:11:58,397 - You know, that's what friends do. - Lie to each other? 229 00:11:58,499 --> 00:12:00,764 Sometimes, yeah, to protect each other's feelings. 230 00:12:00,869 --> 00:12:04,805 No way! You never lie to your friends. I would never not be honest with you. 231 00:12:04,907 --> 00:12:08,035 Really? What about that open mic night at the comedy club? 232 00:12:08,744 --> 00:12:10,575 Are you like me, folks? 233 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:14,445 Have you ever thought about how many different kinds of fish there are, 234 00:12:14,550 --> 00:12:17,714 and the names of those fish? 235 00:12:19,856 --> 00:12:21,118 Let's, uh, let's take a little ride. 236 00:12:24,127 --> 00:12:26,618 "Trout. "Am I right? 237 00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:29,220 "Sturgeon. "I don't think so, pal. 238 00:12:29,632 --> 00:12:30,621 "Salmon. " 239 00:12:30,733 --> 00:12:32,667 Ah! I'm going to say that again. 240 00:12:33,736 --> 00:12:34,703 "Salmon. " 241 00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:36,634 Who thought that was a good idea, right? 242 00:12:37,374 --> 00:12:40,810 "Bass. " This guy over here knows what I'm talking about. 243 00:12:41,979 --> 00:12:43,105 "Halibut. " 244 00:12:43,347 --> 00:12:44,644 Thank you, good night. 245 00:12:48,419 --> 00:12:50,944 - How was I? - Oh! You were great. Really funny. 246 00:12:51,055 --> 00:12:52,181 You killed 247 00:12:53,157 --> 00:12:54,920 everyone's Thursday night. 248 00:12:56,728 --> 00:12:59,595 Time out. You didn't like the fish list? 249 00:12:59,698 --> 00:13:02,792 It was horrible! You just read a list of fish. 250 00:13:06,838 --> 00:13:09,898 Anyway, you guys just proved my point, okay? 251 00:13:10,008 --> 00:13:12,238 You lied to me to protect my feelings. 252 00:13:12,344 --> 00:13:13,436 This is completely different! 253 00:13:13,545 --> 00:13:17,107 I just wasted a month of my life working on a dead project. 254 00:13:17,216 --> 00:13:20,049 That's time I could've spent trying to bring my firm new business. 255 00:13:20,152 --> 00:13:22,746 Instead, I'm going to go in there tomorrow morning, 256 00:13:22,855 --> 00:13:24,288 I'm probably going to get fired. 257 00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:28,952 Best-case scenario, my boss is going to ream me out in front of everybody. 258 00:13:30,463 --> 00:13:32,590 - Back home, we call that a... - "Saskatoon Totem Pole. " 259 00:13:32,698 --> 00:13:34,564 Yes. - It's on here. 260 00:13:40,641 --> 00:13:42,768 Good morning, lying bastards. 261 00:13:42,876 --> 00:13:46,676 Anything you want to lie about before I head off to work to get fired? 262 00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:48,338 - That's a nice shirt. - You're the devil. 263 00:13:48,448 --> 00:13:51,576 Ted, what if we told you that we found you a new project at GNB 264 00:13:51,685 --> 00:13:54,849 where you would be redesigning part of the 20th floor? 265 00:13:54,956 --> 00:13:57,925 Well, if that's a lie, it's an incredibly dull one. 266 00:13:58,026 --> 00:13:59,357 What exactly would I be doing? 267 00:13:59,694 --> 00:14:02,595 This is the 18th floor ETR. 268 00:14:02,697 --> 00:14:04,824 Basically, Bilson wants a room just like this, 269 00:14:04,932 --> 00:14:06,627 only two stories up, on our floor. 270 00:14:06,734 --> 00:14:07,996 Wait, what's an ETR? 271 00:14:08,102 --> 00:14:11,094 - It's the Employee Transition Room. - What does that mean? 272 00:14:11,205 --> 00:14:14,698 Well, it's a space where a supervisor and an employee 273 00:14:14,810 --> 00:14:19,008 engage in a knowledge transfer about an impending vocational paradigm shift. 274 00:14:20,449 --> 00:14:21,643 People get fired in here. 275 00:14:21,917 --> 00:14:23,407 That's horrible. 276 00:14:23,519 --> 00:14:26,386 Why do you need a room specifically for firing people? 277 00:14:26,488 --> 00:14:31,722 Well, GNB feels that people need a safe, secure space to deal with the news. 278 00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,858 Yeah. It gets pretty real in here. 279 00:15:21,446 --> 00:15:25,246 So, I reluctantly agreed to design a room where people would be fired. 280 00:15:25,350 --> 00:15:27,147 But I was determined to make it my own. 281 00:15:27,252 --> 00:15:31,781 Now, when you leave the dismissal space, you'll exit into what I'm calling 282 00:15:31,891 --> 00:15:34,325 the Rebirth Tranquility Hallway. 283 00:15:35,128 --> 00:15:36,095 Uh-oh. 284 00:15:36,763 --> 00:15:41,598 Here, you'll find a soothing oval chamber with a trained grief counselor. 285 00:15:41,701 --> 00:15:43,931 It's right here, past the New Beginnings Fountain. 286 00:15:44,036 --> 00:15:45,060 Uh-oh. 287 00:15:45,171 --> 00:15:49,268 And there you have it. Instead of a drab, dark prison cell, 288 00:15:50,077 --> 00:15:55,276 a nurturing womb birthing you into a new life. 289 00:15:56,450 --> 00:15:57,576 I love it. 290 00:15:57,684 --> 00:15:59,117 - Really? - Yeah. 291 00:15:59,219 --> 00:16:00,914 - Nice work, Ted. - Thank you. 292 00:16:01,021 --> 00:16:04,684 Can you add some of these touches to the existing 18th Floor ETR as well? 293 00:16:04,792 --> 00:16:06,555 - Absolutely. - Great. 294 00:16:06,660 --> 00:16:08,458 Let's take a look. 295 00:16:12,801 --> 00:16:15,634 - Okay, so I'm thinking this wall... - You're fired! 296 00:16:15,737 --> 00:16:17,762 - What? - I wanted this room! 297 00:16:17,872 --> 00:16:20,636 This exact room, two floors up! 298 00:16:20,742 --> 00:16:22,903 - But... - You're fired! 299 00:16:23,011 --> 00:16:24,444 Now, get the hell out of here. 300 00:16:28,317 --> 00:16:29,284 Hey, honey. 301 00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:36,719 Anyone from the band Rush, 302 00:16:36,826 --> 00:16:40,353 a Montreal Meatpie, and superhero lunch boxes. 303 00:16:40,996 --> 00:16:41,985 No. 304 00:16:42,398 --> 00:16:46,529 Okay. Rick Moranis, the Reverse Rick Moranis, 305 00:16:46,636 --> 00:16:48,160 antique Judaica. 306 00:16:48,271 --> 00:16:50,262 - No. - I give up. 307 00:16:50,373 --> 00:16:53,604 I've been guessing for three days. I'm done. 308 00:16:53,710 --> 00:16:56,372 If that means I never get to know, so be it. 309 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,779 - Fine. - Tell us! Tell us! Tell us! 310 00:17:00,417 --> 00:17:01,475 Okay, you really want to know? 311 00:17:01,585 --> 00:17:02,916 Yes! 312 00:17:03,019 --> 00:17:04,043 Okay. 313 00:17:04,755 --> 00:17:06,985 But this information does not leave this table. 314 00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,351 Oh, my God. I am so excited. 315 00:17:13,664 --> 00:17:14,631 - I'm going to read it. - Read it. 316 00:17:14,732 --> 00:17:15,699 - I'm going to read it. - Read it. 317 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:17,165 I'm going to read it. Here we go. 318 00:17:18,603 --> 00:17:23,769 "The Frozen Snowshoe, Old King Clancy, Harvey's trays. " 319 00:17:27,112 --> 00:17:28,306 Right. 320 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:31,679 I don't know what any of those words mean. 321 00:17:32,184 --> 00:17:34,652 Is one of those supposed to be a celebrity? 322 00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:38,917 Yeah, who the hell is Old King Clancy? 323 00:17:39,024 --> 00:17:41,925 No, that's not the person, that's the sex act. 324 00:17:42,027 --> 00:17:46,260 It's the same as a Sacramento Turtleneck, except with maple syrup. 325 00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:49,494 So the celebrity was Harvey Strays? 326 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:52,935 No, that's what he collected. Harvey's trays. 327 00:17:53,039 --> 00:17:56,975 You know, those classic orange trays you get whenever you eat at Harvey's? 328 00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:58,708 The restaurant? 329 00:17:58,811 --> 00:18:01,940 Oh, come on, you're road-tripping down the Trans-Canada Highway, 330 00:18:02,049 --> 00:18:04,517 you get a hunger on between Milverton and Wawa, 331 00:18:04,618 --> 00:18:09,078 where are you gonna strap on a feed bag, huh? Harvey's. "Over 12,000 Served!" 332 00:18:10,491 --> 00:18:14,154 - So the celebrity was... - The Frozen Snowshoe. 333 00:18:15,296 --> 00:18:18,697 Oh, my God! You guys have never heard of The Frozen Snowshoe? 334 00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:22,065 He's only the most famous professional wrestler in Canada. 335 00:18:22,170 --> 00:18:25,867 I met him after he defeated Reckless Rick Rogers 336 00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:29,705 in the Kamloops Memorial Arena back in '02. Classic match. 337 00:18:30,512 --> 00:18:34,004 So you're saying The Frozen Snowshoe 338 00:18:34,115 --> 00:18:38,484 invited you back to his place to look at Harvey's trays, 339 00:18:38,587 --> 00:18:41,216 and asked you to do an Old King Clancy? 340 00:18:41,324 --> 00:18:45,124 Exactly. And I'm serious, you cannot tell anyone. 341 00:18:46,529 --> 00:18:48,554 Well, my hiccups are gone. 342 00:18:48,664 --> 00:18:50,598 Possibly forever. 343 00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:56,002 Canada! You did it again. You even found a way to ruin this. 344 00:18:56,105 --> 00:18:59,837 Why? Why do we let you be a country? 345 00:19:00,377 --> 00:19:01,969 - Hey, Mr. Mister. - Hey. 346 00:19:02,079 --> 00:19:05,446 Shouldn't you be upstairs, designing your big, fancy ETR? 347 00:19:05,549 --> 00:19:07,642 - I'm off the project. - What? 348 00:19:07,751 --> 00:19:10,481 - Bilson fired me. - You're kidding me. 349 00:19:10,587 --> 00:19:14,421 So what does this mean for you at your firm? Are you going to get laid off? 350 00:19:14,524 --> 00:19:18,016 - Actually, I just quit. - Why? 351 00:19:18,128 --> 00:19:21,587 Because I can't work for big, heartless corporate clients anymore. 352 00:19:21,699 --> 00:19:23,326 When I was pitching to your "task force," 353 00:19:23,434 --> 00:19:26,062 I was doing the most inspired work of my career. 354 00:19:26,170 --> 00:19:30,106 In a way, you idiots reminded me how much fun my job can be 355 00:19:30,208 --> 00:19:33,143 when I'm not answering to the Bilsons of the world, so 356 00:19:33,244 --> 00:19:35,610 - I quit. - Wow. 357 00:19:36,848 --> 00:19:39,113 - They fired you, didn't they? - Yes, sir. 358 00:19:39,218 --> 00:19:42,949 But I got a sweet severance package and I've made a big decision. 359 00:19:43,055 --> 00:19:44,545 I'm going to start my own firm. 360 00:19:44,657 --> 00:19:45,885 - Whoa, buddy! - That's exciting. 361 00:19:45,991 --> 00:19:47,618 In this economy? 362 00:19:48,260 --> 00:19:50,194 So you're not mad? 363 00:19:50,796 --> 00:19:53,287 As it turns out, I'm grateful. 364 00:19:56,101 --> 00:19:58,161 So how'd it all go down between you and Bilson? 365 00:19:58,271 --> 00:20:01,570 Well, after he proposed a vocational paradigm shift, 366 00:20:01,675 --> 00:20:04,667 I made an impromptu presentation using a four-pronged approach 367 00:20:04,778 --> 00:20:06,302 that really brought him to his knees. 368 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,505 - Hit him with a chair? - Yep. 369 00:20:07,614 --> 00:20:09,172 That's my boy. 370 00:20:15,021 --> 00:20:17,684 And this one, I got on the drive from Milverton to Wawa. 371 00:20:17,792 --> 00:20:22,126 Wow. That's pretty impressive, The Frozen Snowshoe. 372 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:24,697 Please, we're friends. Just call me "Shoe. " 373 00:20:25,700 --> 00:20:26,667 Have a seat. 374 00:20:32,339 --> 00:20:33,533 So, Shoe, 375 00:20:34,675 --> 00:20:36,610 how would you like to give me 376 00:20:38,980 --> 00:20:40,811 an Old King Clancy? 377 00:20:44,486 --> 00:20:46,420 I think you should go.