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NARRATOR:
In the fall of 2009, a new
couple had moved in upstairs.
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00:00:03,800 --> 00:00:04,867
We hadn't met them yet,
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00:00:04,867 --> 00:00:07,434
but we could hear them,
all the time.
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They were always...
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Well, kids, let's just say
they were always
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"playing the bagpipes."
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Okay, this is ridiculous.
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I can't believe those
two are still bagpiping.
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I know. It's been six hours.
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00:00:24,134 --> 00:00:26,800
Must be that tantric bagpiping
that Sting is into.
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She keeps yelling out for him
to play the bagpipes harder,
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00:00:29,633 --> 00:00:31,934
but it sounds like he's
bagpiping her pretty hard.
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There's a glass of water
in my bedroom
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that's vibrating
like Jurassic Park.
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You have neighbors!
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Shut the bagpipes up!
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Sync by honeybunny & YesCool
www.addic7ed.com
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I decided to go to the bar
to get some peace and quiet.
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That didn't work out so well.
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Ted, I hate to have
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to be the one
to tell you this.
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Marshall and Lily
are getting a divorce.
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No, they're not.
Just listen
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to what I witnessed yesterday.
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Baby, you mind washing that?
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No problem.
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I should go.
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She makes him wash his dishes
right away, Ted.
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I give 'em two,
maybe, three weeks tops.
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Barney, that's not a big deal.
And it's certainly
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not a big enough deal for you
to be holding my hands.
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They're in big trouble, Ted.
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I see what's going on.
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You, my friend, are suffering
from a little known condition--
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"little known" because I just
made it up--
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called New Relationship
Smugness.
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You and Robin are
in the honeymoon phase.
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Everything's perfect.
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Every song on the radio's
about you.
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Every other couple sucks.
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Enjoy it.
N.R.S. doesn't last forever.
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It does when
you're this awesome.
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Hey, check it out.
Robin and I have been
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keeping a tally of how many beds
we've done it in.
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We're up to 83-and-a-half.
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A half?
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19 century ottoman
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in an antique shop.
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Hey.
Hey, what's up?
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Hey, tiger.
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How ya holding up?
Do you need a hug?
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You want to talk
about yesterday?
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Safe space.
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Barney thinks Lily
asking you to wash your dishes
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right away is a sign your
marriage is crumbling. What?
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Why?
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Lily likes a clean sink,
so I do the dishes
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right away;
what's the big deal?
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I'll tell you
what the big deal is.
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You know how I was always
the best at being single?
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No.
No.
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Well, now I am the best
at relationships.
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Even better than you and Lily.
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Aw, look at you.
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Had a girlfriend for five
minutes, you think you can
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play with the big boys--
adorable. Son...
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I've been in a relationship
since you had a ponytail
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and were playing Dave Matthews
on your mama's Casio.
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I'm a good boyfriend
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in my sleep.
I can rock a killer foot rub
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with one hand and brew a
kick-ass pot of chamomile
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in the other that
would make you weep.
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Hell,
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I've forgotten more
about microwaving
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fat-free popcorn
and watching
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Sandra Bullock movies
than you'll ever know,
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but thanks for
your concern, rook.
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Mashall, let me ask you
one question.
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Sure.
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Do you mind if there is
sink full of dirty dishes?
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Not really.
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Then it's Lily's problem,
not yours.
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Yeah, but if I said
that to her,
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it would only lead to a fight, so...
Oh.
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You fight.
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See, Robin and I never fight.
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Of course you do.
No.
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And here's the secret:
every time it looks like
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we're about to get
into a fight...
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Um, why is there
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a bag of panties labeled
"April 2008" in your closet?
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So any time you think
you might have a fight
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you just get up and leave?
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100% effective.
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Can't fight
if you're not there.
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That's what Gandhi taught us.
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Boy, that's not true.
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I can't believe that
Robin puts up with that.
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Oh, don't worry.
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She's got a great way
to avoid fights, too.
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Um, are ties
machine washable?
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No, they most certainly
are not. Why?
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What is in your hand?
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Oh, my God,
what's in your hand?!
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Okay, so you walk away.
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Robin gets naked.
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Those are the two
stupidest ways
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to handle conflict
I've ever heard.
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Actually, the naked
thing ain't bad.
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That felt kind of weird.
Okay, call me crazy.
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But when a problem comes up,
Lily and I
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actually talk about it.
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There are so many great things
to do with the human mouth.
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Why waste it on talking?
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But if you insist,
here's what I would say
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about the dishes
if I were Lily's husband.
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Barney, you're home!
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Dude... Get to the point!
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All right.
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Thanks, doll.
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Sweetie, are you
going to wash that?
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I'm glad you bring that up. No.
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And here's why.
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Lily, I know you don't
like a dirty sink.
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But does that make it my job
to keep it clean?
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I mean, if one day
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I look up
at the living room ceiling
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and think,
"Hey, I'd like a replica
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of the Sistine Chapel up there."
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would it be your job
to paint it?
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Well, no.
Of course not.
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Exactly! So, baby,
by the same logic,
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if you don't like looking
at a sink full of dishes,
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Shouldn't it be your job to clean them?
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Wow. Thanks for
explaining that.
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I get so confused.
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That's because
you're a woman.
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I don't even know
why we're laughing!
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Of course you don't.
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You're kidding me with this.
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Hang on, Ted.
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Let's hear the man out.
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Once I have her attention,
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it's time
to bring out the big guns.
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Look, I love you.
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But, baby, with the little
energy I have left after work,
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I want to shower you with love,
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not wash some silly dishes.
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You're right.
I'll do the dishes.
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Right after I do this.
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Oh, yeah.
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Now turn around.
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Firm.
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Oh, yeah.
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Are you going to
hit him or should I?
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He's right.
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No, he's not.
Marshall, look at me.
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Do not get drawn into
Barney Stinson's circus tent
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of funhouse mirrors
and flawed logic.
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This is exactly how you got
the earring back in '03.
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Hey, that earring looked cool.
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It did look
cool, didn't it?
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Marshall, stay with me!
Barney is wrong.
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No, he isn't.
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I hate doing my
dishes right away.
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You just said
you don't mind!
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I hate it, Ted!
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I hate it
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with a boundless,
burning fury!
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I hate it, I hate
it, I hate it!
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You're welcome.
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Hey, guys.
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Hey.
Oh, good.
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There you are.
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You'll tell me the truth.
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Barney says
that you two never fight.
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Huh. I guess
that's true.
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Told ya.
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No way.
I love you both,
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but you are the two most
emotionally ill-equipped
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individuals in the history
of relationships.
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You two must have had
at least one fight.
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You know what?
We did.
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Aha!
ROBIN: Mm-hmm.
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There was
one small dispute
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about which one of
us was more awesome.
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We just called it a tie and had sex.
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Speaking of which, I am so glad
we're going skiing this weekend.
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I need a break.
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The upstairs neighbors
are driving me crazy.
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Yeah, it's bad.
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I'm gonna say
something to them.
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Thank you.
Great.
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Okay, we all have
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our assignments
for the weekend.
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Ted, you're going to stand up
to your neighbors.
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00:07:49,384 --> 00:07:50,917
Marshall, you're going
to stand up to Lily.
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And Robin, I'm gonna need yo
in sort of a crouched position
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on the bear-skin rug
at our ski chalet. Ready?
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00:07:55,284 --> 00:07:56,351
Break!
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00:07:56,351 --> 00:07:57,650
Bye, guys.Bye.
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00:07:57,650 --> 00:07:59,317
Have fun.
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00:08:00,484 --> 00:08:03,284
Barney.
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00:08:03,284 --> 00:08:05,683
With his crazy, well-
thought-out theories
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00:08:05,683 --> 00:08:06,850
that probably would work.
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00:08:07,550 --> 00:08:10,750
Marshall, I'm just gonna
say this one more time.
207
00:08:10,750 --> 00:08:12,550
It's a bad idea.
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00:08:12,550 --> 00:08:13,350
I think it could work.
209
00:08:13,350 --> 00:08:15,617
Okay, two more times.
It's a bad idea.
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00:08:15,617 --> 00:08:17,317
Listen, Barney lays out
some logical points
211
00:08:17,317 --> 00:08:18,784
Lily is a
reasonable woman.
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00:08:18,784 --> 00:08:20,751
I think that if I
explain it to her,
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00:08:20,751 --> 00:08:22,918
she'll get it and
I'll get my way.
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00:08:22,918 --> 00:08:24,617
Uh, no.
She'll get mad,
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00:08:24,617 --> 00:08:26,317
and you'll get
in a huge fight.
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00:08:26,317 --> 00:08:27,884
Slap bet?
Slap bet.
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00:08:31,950 --> 00:08:34,484
Baby, could you wash your dishes?
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00:08:34,484 --> 00:08:37,488
Lily, I'm glad
that you bring that up.
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00:08:42,233 --> 00:08:43,233
Can I stay here tonight?
220
00:08:45,234 --> 00:08:46,234
Hop it on the sofa, buddy.
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00:08:55,917 --> 00:08:57,317
The ski bunnies
are back!
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00:08:57,317 --> 00:08:59,017
(both laughing)
Hey, guys.
223
00:08:59,017 --> 00:09:00,451
(smooching loudly)
How was your trip?
224
00:09:00,451 --> 00:09:02,250
So perfect.
225
00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,751
We just spent the whole
weekend cuddling by the fire.
226
00:09:04,751 --> 00:09:05,917
No black diamonds,
227
00:09:05,917 --> 00:09:07,818
but a lot of red hearts.
Aw...
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00:09:09,384 --> 00:09:10,718
Okay, I'm gonna
go unpack.
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00:09:10,718 --> 00:09:12,584
Hey, you.
Yeah?
230
00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:21,451
Oh, man.
231
00:09:21,451 --> 00:09:23,284
What the hell has
gotten into you two?
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00:09:23,284 --> 00:09:25,351
When did you become
so nauseating?
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00:09:25,351 --> 00:09:28,584
Isn't it great
to finally see her fulfilled
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00:09:28,584 --> 00:09:31,584
emotionally, spiritually
and sexually?
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00:09:31,584 --> 00:09:34,351
Um, I dated her
for a year.
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00:09:34,351 --> 00:09:36,017
Yeah.
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00:09:36,017 --> 00:09:38,117
Anyway,
how was your weekend?
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00:09:38,117 --> 00:09:40,251
Terrible, and it's all
your fault, okay?
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00:09:40,251 --> 00:09:42,284
I took your stupid advice!
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00:09:43,951 --> 00:09:46,350
Baby, could you
wash your dishes?
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00:09:46,350 --> 00:09:49,650
Lily, I'm glad
that you bring that up.
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00:09:50,318 --> 00:09:53,984
No, and here is why...
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00:10:01,617 --> 00:10:02,717
Okay.
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00:10:04,350 --> 00:10:07,717
So, it's like this, okay?
245
00:10:07,717 --> 00:10:10,684
Yeah, sure.
You want me
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00:10:10,684 --> 00:10:12,850
to go ahead
and wash my dish.
247
00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:14,150
But maybe...
248
00:10:14,150 --> 00:10:16,317
I want you...
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00:10:16,317 --> 00:10:19,651
to paint
the ceiling, right?
250
00:10:19,651 --> 00:10:20,984
Like, maybe I should say,
251
00:10:20,984 --> 00:10:23,850
"Okay, yeah.
I'll wash my dish
252
00:10:23,850 --> 00:10:25,117
"if you get up there
253
00:10:25,117 --> 00:10:27,984
and just--you paint
naked babies on the ceiling."
254
00:10:27,984 --> 00:10:30,783
You know?
It just like...
255
00:10:32,734 --> 00:10:35,134
I don't know what happened.
256
00:10:35,134 --> 00:10:36,534
I'm a lawyer.
257
00:10:36,534 --> 00:10:37,833
I argue for a living,
258
00:10:37,833 --> 00:10:41,900
but when it comes to Lily,
I just get all... flustered.
259
00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,700
How could you not?
260
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:45,838
I mean, the girl's
all eyes and boobs.
261
00:10:46,638 --> 00:10:49,696
What happened to the "I'm tired
after my draining day,
262
00:10:49,697 --> 00:10:50,997
I want to use my left over energy
263
00:10:50,997 --> 00:10:51,934
showering you
with love" argument?
264
00:10:51,934 --> 00:10:54,967
I should have written that down.
265
00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:57,473
Look, Lily, I...
266
00:10:59,008 --> 00:11:00,434
I make more money than you.
267
00:11:00,434 --> 00:11:01,791
Excuse me?!
268
00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:06,200
Dance for me.
269
00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:07,168
Oh, Marshall.
270
00:11:07,168 --> 00:11:08,333
Dude.
271
00:11:08,333 --> 00:11:10,867
It all made so much sense
when you said it,
272
00:11:10,867 --> 00:11:12,024
but when I said it,
it turned into a fight.
273
00:11:12,034 --> 00:11:13,534
And once Lily and I
start fighting,
274
00:11:13,534 --> 00:11:17,367
the fight starts to mutate
and multiply.
275
00:11:18,067 --> 00:11:20,233
MARSHALL: Sure, it started
with the dishes, but then...
276
00:11:20,233 --> 00:11:23,801
So you're saying that you
shouldn't have to wash dishes
277
00:11:23,801 --> 00:11:25,701
because you work
harder than me?
278
00:11:25,701 --> 00:11:27,701
Okay, that's not
what I'm saying--
279
00:11:27,701 --> 00:11:28,967
but it's true.
280
00:11:28,967 --> 00:11:30,801
And then all of sudden,
we're also fighting
281
00:11:30,801 --> 00:11:31,434
about who works harder.
282
00:11:31,435 --> 00:11:33,435
I teach kindergarten.
283
00:11:33,435 --> 00:11:36,367
I am molding the future
leaders of tomorrow.
284
00:11:36,368 --> 00:11:38,367
You eat cookies and glue stuff.
285
00:11:38,367 --> 00:11:39,901
And soon more fights spinn off.
286
00:11:39,901 --> 00:11:41,400
I can't believe you'd rather
be killed...
287
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:42,834
Until there are
more fights going on
288
00:11:42,834 --> 00:11:44,434
than you can even
keep track of.
289
00:11:44,434 --> 00:11:46,867
If you need to go in the middle
of the night,
290
00:11:46,867 --> 00:11:49,200
either turn the bathroom
light on or sit down.
291
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:51,400
My mother
does not hate you.
292
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,467
She is neutral
about you.
293
00:11:54,467 --> 00:11:57,050
I am not scared of
your Shining impression.
294
00:11:57,050 --> 00:12:00,167
I just don't need to hear
it, especially at night.
295
00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:01,868
(gravelly voice):
Danny's not here,
296
00:12:01,868 --> 00:12:03,333
Mrs. Torrance.
297
00:12:03,333 --> 00:12:06,634
Please don't do that.
298
00:12:06,634 --> 00:12:08,434
Man, Lily fights dirty.
299
00:12:08,734 --> 00:12:12,701
She's small
but vicious like a badger
300
00:12:12,701 --> 00:12:14,667
that your brother's caught
and starved for five days
301
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,500
and then put
in your sleeping bag.
302
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,134
I should just go home
and apologize.
303
00:12:19,134 --> 00:12:22,001
No. What you need
is a surge.
304
00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:23,367
Fight harder.
305
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:25,901
Picture it, Marshall,
306
00:12:25,901 --> 00:12:28,567
never having to wash another dish
as long as you live,
307
00:12:28,567 --> 00:12:30,734
yet all the dishes
are always clean.
308
00:12:30,734 --> 00:12:33,934
Why, this would take all the anxiety
out of snacking.
309
00:12:33,934 --> 00:12:36,434
No more holding
open your shirt
310
00:12:36,434 --> 00:12:39,634
to form a makeshift bowl
for your salty treats.
311
00:12:39,634 --> 00:12:41,365
That world is
yours, Marshall.
312
00:12:41,366 --> 00:12:42,366
Reach out, take it.
313
00:12:43,734 --> 00:12:47,434
dip it in some
ranch dressing, enjoy.
314
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:51,501
He's right.
315
00:12:51,501 --> 00:12:52,767
No!
316
00:12:52,767 --> 00:12:53,767
Barney's stupid ideas
317
00:12:53,767 --> 00:12:55,201
are what got you
into this quagmire.
318
00:12:55,201 --> 00:12:57,034
There's no exit strategy.
Just wash your stupid dishes.
319
00:12:57,034 --> 00:12:59,167
No! Those dishes are my manhood!
320
00:12:59,167 --> 00:13:02,067
And if I want to leave my
manhood dirty in the sink,
321
00:13:02,067 --> 00:13:03,367
caked with ketchup and pasta...
322
00:13:03,367 --> 00:13:04,301
What are you eating?
323
00:13:04,301 --> 00:13:06,467
...then damn it,
that's my right!
324
00:13:06,467 --> 00:13:09,668
I'll wash my manhood
when I'm good and ready!
325
00:13:09,668 --> 00:13:11,301
Where was he not sitting?
326
00:13:12,950 --> 00:13:15,284
Hey, Barnstormer.
327
00:13:15,284 --> 00:13:17,750
He Ro-Ro.
Ooh!
328
00:13:17,750 --> 00:13:19,817
Okay, now you have
adorable nicknames?
329
00:13:19,817 --> 00:13:21,984
Seriously, what's going on
with your two?
330
00:13:21,984 --> 00:13:23,618
Nothing. We're just happy.
331
00:13:23,618 --> 00:13:25,184
It's like Gandhi said,
332
00:13:25,184 --> 00:13:27,017
"A smile don't cost nothing, sugar."
Mm-hmm.
333
00:13:27,017 --> 00:13:29,584
I'm not sure you know
who Gandhi is.
334
00:13:29,584 --> 00:13:31,518
So, um, Ted, did you
talk to our neighbors?
335
00:13:31,518 --> 00:13:33,284
Yes, yeah, I did.
336
00:13:33,284 --> 00:13:36,151
I went up there ready
to set them straight.
337
00:13:46,884 --> 00:13:47,917
They're old?
338
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:49,317
Really old.
339
00:13:49,317 --> 00:13:51,284
So what did you do?
340
00:13:51,284 --> 00:13:53,584
Well, I didn't have the heart
to tell them to stop,
341
00:13:53,584 --> 00:13:54,884
because, well, good for them.
342
00:13:54,884 --> 00:13:56,717
So I just weomed them
to the building,
343
00:13:56,717 --> 00:13:58,017
had a hard candy,
344
00:13:58,017 --> 00:14:01,050
nodded politely at some racist
comments and then left.
345
00:14:02,850 --> 00:14:04,484
Over the next couple of days
346
00:14:04,484 --> 00:14:07,584
Barney and Robin continued
to be happier than ever.
347
00:14:07,584 --> 00:14:09,851
And Marshall and Lily
continued to fight.
348
00:14:09,851 --> 00:14:12,450
I don't care if
the dishes aren't done.
349
00:14:12,450 --> 00:14:14,217
Okay, if you care, you do it.
350
00:14:14,217 --> 00:14:17,617
Great. Then I don't care
if you have an orgasm.
351
00:14:17,617 --> 00:14:19,450
If you care, you do it.
352
00:14:19,450 --> 00:14:22,651
I went 18 years without
the touch of a woman.
353
00:14:22,651 --> 00:14:23,984
I can do it again.
354
00:14:23,984 --> 00:14:25,717
You might have to.
355
00:14:25,717 --> 00:14:28,250
And I continued to hear
more bagpiping
356
00:14:28,250 --> 00:14:31,797
than a St. Patty's Day parade.
357
00:14:35,317 --> 00:14:36,518
I don't know what to do.
358
00:14:36,518 --> 00:14:38,550
Lily and I have never
had a fight this long.
359
00:14:38,550 --> 00:14:39,984
It's like I don't
even exist.
360
00:14:39,984 --> 00:14:43,017
On Sunday morning,
she made pancake, Ted.
361
00:14:43,017 --> 00:14:45,583
Pancake and bacon strip.
362
00:14:45,583 --> 00:14:47,251
It's your own fault.
363
00:14:47,251 --> 00:14:50,217
You took relationship
advice from Barney.
364
00:14:50,217 --> 00:14:53,251
Well, maybe Barney
has it all figured out.
365
00:14:53,251 --> 00:14:56,217
He and Ro-Ro are
the best couple now.
366
00:14:56,217 --> 00:14:58,284
Lily and I have
been dethroned.
367
00:14:58,284 --> 00:14:59,717
You know what,
I'm not buying it.
368
00:14:59,717 --> 00:15:01,451
All that cutesy,
lovey-dovey crap,
369
00:15:01,451 --> 00:15:02,683
that's not them.
370
00:15:02,683 --> 00:15:05,717
And I know for a fact
that Robin hates nicknames.
371
00:15:06,984 --> 00:15:08,384
Thanks, Robbsy-wobbsy.
372
00:15:08,384 --> 00:15:11,217
Yeah, I don't do nicknames.
373
00:15:11,217 --> 00:15:13,583
Finished with the
sports page, Sherbs?
374
00:15:13,583 --> 00:15:15,817
Seriously, stop.
375
00:15:16,817 --> 00:15:18,984
Hey, Robin, it's T-Mose.
376
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:20,717
Yeah, I don't like them
on you either.
377
00:15:22,183 --> 00:15:24,384
Well, she obviously
likes them now.
378
00:15:24,384 --> 00:15:26,083
And, come on
379
00:15:26,083 --> 00:15:28,484
somebody had to put
an end to T-Mose.
380
00:15:28,484 --> 00:15:31,317
No, T-Mose was awesome.
381
00:15:31,317 --> 00:15:33,717
I'm thinking
of bringing it back.
382
00:15:35,183 --> 00:15:38,117
Bagpiping sounds
a little different today.
383
00:15:38,117 --> 00:15:39,951
It's all echo-y.
384
00:15:39,951 --> 00:15:41,384
Yeah. They're
in the bathroom.
385
00:15:41,384 --> 00:15:44,384
I think they're bagpiping
on the shower chair.
386
00:15:44,384 --> 00:15:46,418
And just like that, I realized
387
00:15:46,418 --> 00:15:49,151
exactly how to get the real
scoop on Barney and Robin.
388
00:15:49,151 --> 00:15:51,251
Oh, hey, Ted.
How are Marshall and Lily?
389
00:15:51,251 --> 00:15:53,351
I worry about those two,
I really do.
390
00:15:53,351 --> 00:15:54,984
You and your
big, giant heart.
391
00:15:54,984 --> 00:15:57,817
Okay, enough.
The jig is up.
392
00:15:58,817 --> 00:16:00,917
Ted, whatever do you mean?
393
00:16:01,417 --> 00:16:02,417
Who's this guy?
394
00:16:02,417 --> 00:16:03,717
We'll get to that.
395
00:16:03,717 --> 00:16:05,617
You see, I knew
something was wrong.
396
00:16:05,617 --> 00:16:09,711
You two were too happy,
too shiny, too nickname-y.
397
00:16:09,746 --> 00:16:10,742
Didn't add up.
398
00:16:10,742 --> 00:16:12,282
You two never fight?
399
00:16:12,282 --> 00:16:13,481
Horse apples.
400
00:16:14,112 --> 00:16:18,323
You fight all... the... time.
401
00:16:19,323 --> 00:16:20,500
How would you know that?
402
00:16:21,051 --> 00:16:22,501
Phil told me.
403
00:16:22,784 --> 00:16:23,947
Who the hell is Phil?
404
00:16:24,182 --> 00:16:25,812
Your downstairs neighbor.
405
00:16:25,847 --> 00:16:29,546
Hi. I'm Phil. 12-B.
406
00:16:29,547 --> 00:16:32,547
And he's heard everything.
407
00:16:37,217 --> 00:16:39,184
So Phil tells me that
Ro-Ro and the Barnstormer
408
00:16:39,184 --> 00:16:41,483
have been
fighting... a lot.
409
00:16:41,483 --> 00:16:42,951
Care to explain?
410
00:16:46,550 --> 00:16:50,517
Okay. Everything
was going great.
411
00:16:50,517 --> 00:16:53,251
Our no-fighting techniques
were working perfectly
412
00:16:53,251 --> 00:16:56,051
until we went on that ski trip
last weekend.
413
00:16:56,051 --> 00:16:59,750
So I showed Marshall
that Lily's argument was bananas
414
00:16:59,750 --> 00:17:02,284
and now he'll never have
to wash another dish.
415
00:17:02,284 --> 00:17:03,717
High two.
416
00:17:03,717 --> 00:17:05,084
That's terrible advice.
417
00:17:05,084 --> 00:17:07,418
You agree with Lily?
418
00:17:07,418 --> 00:17:08,617
You...
419
00:17:11,850 --> 00:17:14,951
BARNEY:
Oh, no. We're about
to get in a fight,
420
00:17:14,951 --> 00:17:16,151
and I can't run away.
421
00:17:16,151 --> 00:17:18,318
ROBIN:
I can't take my clothes off.
422
00:17:18,318 --> 00:17:20,351
It's freezing up here.
I get hypothermia.
423
00:17:20,351 --> 00:17:23,517
Maybe I can jump it?
Maybe just my pants?
424
00:17:25,984 --> 00:17:30,151
This no-fighting thing is over, huh?
I think so.
425
00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,384
How could you possibly agree with Lily?!
I can't believe that you made Lily get in a fight about this!
426
00:17:34,384 --> 00:17:35,750
She's shorter than him!
427
00:17:36,050 --> 00:17:37,783
And it didn't end there.
428
00:17:37,783 --> 00:17:38,850
We've been fighting
ever since.
429
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:41,217
All those fights we
kept not having--
430
00:17:41,217 --> 00:17:42,618
they all came back around.
431
00:17:42,619 --> 00:17:43,618
The bag of panties...
432
00:17:43,618 --> 00:17:45,084
The tie Robin murdered.
433
00:17:45,184 --> 00:17:46,951
The tiny camera I found in the headboard.
434
00:17:46,951 --> 00:17:50,284
That's how a
quarterback stays sharp.
435
00:17:50,284 --> 00:17:51,984
Monday morning, he sits
on a bag of ice
436
00:17:51,984 --> 00:17:53,984
and studies the game tape.
Barney for the millionth time...
437
00:17:53,984 --> 00:17:56,451
You don't get to be as good as I am...
using football analogies...
438
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:57,783
without reviewing the fundamentals
439
00:17:57,783 --> 00:17:58,384
and studying technique!
does not make it any less creepy.
440
00:17:58,384 --> 00:18:02,217
I knew it! I knew you guys were acting
too cute and perfect!
441
00:18:02,217 --> 00:18:05,517
Look, we were just sick
of everyone pointing out
442
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:07,284
how crappy at
relationships we both are.
443
00:18:07,284 --> 00:18:10,417
Yeah, it was sort of nice
to be the perfect couple for a minute.
444
00:18:10,417 --> 00:18:11,984
TED:
I knew you were lying.
445
00:18:11,984 --> 00:18:15,251
You got to wake up pretty early
to slip one by the T-Mose.
446
00:18:15,251 --> 00:18:16,017
Stop it.
447
00:18:18,017 --> 00:18:20,651
LILY (singsong voice):
Marshall, dinner's ready.
448
00:18:20,651 --> 00:18:23,351
Did you-- did you make
any for me?
449
00:18:23,351 --> 00:18:26,017
No, but it's
your favorite.
450
00:18:33,017 --> 00:18:34,917
(sighing):
Hey.
451
00:18:35,917 --> 00:18:37,917
We need your advice.
452
00:18:37,917 --> 00:18:39,917
NARRATOR:
So Barney and Robin told Lily and Marshall
453
00:18:39,917 --> 00:18:41,150
all about their fighting.
454
00:18:41,150 --> 00:18:42,484
And let's just say,
that in comparison,
455
00:18:42,484 --> 00:18:44,518
their little dishes spat
seemed pretty tame.
456
00:18:55,284 --> 00:18:56,618
And by the end,
457
00:18:56,618 --> 00:18:58,984
Lily and Marshall
both had the same reaction.
458
00:18:58,984 --> 00:19:02,117
I'll wash my dishes right away
from now until the day I die.
459
00:19:02,117 --> 00:19:03,484
I don't care when
you wash the dishes.
460
00:19:03,484 --> 00:19:06,850
But if it's something
cheese-based like a nice ziti,
461
00:19:06,850 --> 00:19:08,884
at least soak it, okay?
Of course, baby.
462
00:19:08,884 --> 00:19:10,050
Oh, I love you.
463
00:19:10,050 --> 00:19:12,683
I love you, too.
ROBIN: See?
464
00:19:12,683 --> 00:19:14,217
Right there,
how did you just do that?
465
00:19:14,217 --> 00:19:15,251
How'd you just
fix everything?
466
00:19:15,251 --> 00:19:16,551
I don't know.
467
00:19:16,551 --> 00:19:19,217
I guess sometimes you just
have to set your ego aside.
468
00:19:19,217 --> 00:19:22,351
Yeah. An-And remember
at the love that you have
469
00:19:22,351 --> 00:19:25,917
for that other person is way
more important than winning.
470
00:19:30,584 --> 00:19:32,650
More important
than winning
471
00:19:32,650 --> 00:19:34,084
Stop, stop it.
472
00:19:34,084 --> 00:19:36,050
Seriously,
what's the secret?
473
00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:39,650
Okay, look, the honeymoon period
may be over,
474
00:19:39,650 --> 00:19:42,984
but now you can get
into the real stuff.
475
00:19:42,984 --> 00:19:44,217
And honestly,
476
00:19:44,217 --> 00:19:46,317
that's the best part.
477
00:19:46,817 --> 00:19:47,917
Good night.
478
00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:50,084
So what do
we do now?
479
00:19:50,084 --> 00:19:52,018
I guess we got to
start talking more
480
00:19:52,018 --> 00:19:53,250
and get into
the real stuff.
481
00:19:53,250 --> 00:19:54,684
Yeah.
482
00:19:54,684 --> 00:19:56,183
Or there's a bench
in the elevator.
483
00:19:56,183 --> 00:19:57,550
Ooh, that's better.
Mm-hmm.
484
00:19:57,550 --> 00:19:59,851
Hey, so what if we're not
the best couple in the world?
485
00:19:59,851 --> 00:20:02,317
Totally. It's not a competition.
No.
486
00:20:02,317 --> 00:20:03,350
We win!
487
00:20:03,350 --> 00:20:04,984
Best couple in the world!
488
00:20:04,984 --> 00:20:08,379
Whoo, yeah!
489
00:17:54,884 --> 00:17:58,279
Whoo, yeah!
490
00:20:09,617 --> 00:20:10,884
Guess what?
491
00:20:10,884 --> 00:20:11,984
These glasses
492
00:20:11,984 --> 00:20:13,651
are plastic.
493
00:20:13,651 --> 00:20:15,784
So we can just
throw them away.
494
00:20:15,784 --> 00:20:18,450
That means no dirty
dishes in the sink.
495
00:20:18,450 --> 00:20:20,517
Mm, you're dirty.
496
00:20:20,517 --> 00:20:22,784
Maybe I should leave
you in the sink.
497
00:20:25,184 --> 00:20:27,884
NARRATOR:
And once that first argument
got worked out,
498
00:20:27,884 --> 00:20:29,251
all those other arguments,
499
00:20:29,251 --> 00:20:32,850
well, they got better, too.
500
00:20:32,851 --> 00:20:52,768
Sync by honeybunny & YesCool
www.addic7ed.com