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NARRATOR:
In November 2009,
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Uncle Marshall
and Aunt Lily hosted
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the first Thanksgiving
at their very own apartment.
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And Marshall had found
the perfect turkey.
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Oh, baby, it is beautiful.
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It's 22 pounds.
It's organic.
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You remember my bald
Uncle Heinrek?
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It looks exactly like his head.
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Oh, my God.
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My turkey...
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My turkey!
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So, when we showed up
for the big day,
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Marshall was pretty bummed out.
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Well, we got the turkey.
MARSHALL: No.
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You didn't. You got the pathetic
replacement turkey.
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Damn it, you know,
why didn't I just listen
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to the prerecorded voice
of former Mayor Ed Koch
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reminding me
to take my belongings?
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No, Marshall,
you don't understand.
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Robin and I went to the Port
Authority Lost and Found,
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and there,
sitting in their fridge...
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ROBIN: Marshall Eriksen...
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is this your turkey?
Yes!
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That's my turkey!
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Oh, come here,
you handsome little bastard!
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Okay, I'm going to go put this in the oven.
Okay.
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Oh, my God! You guys are
the best friends ever!
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It was totally
a team effort.
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I'm so ha...
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Guys, I don't know
what to say.
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I mean, it's Thanksgiving,
but "thanks"
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just doesn't seem like enough.
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Come on, buddy, you would've
done the same thing for us.
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Yeah, I would, and you know why?
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Because I love you guys.
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And I'm gonna show you
just how much.
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Ted Mosby,
Robin Scherbatsky,
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I bequeath unto you
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the fourth slap.
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(both gasp)
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Wait, what?
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Kids, you remember
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Barney and Marshall'
"Slap Bet."
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When Barney lost, Marshall won
the right to slap Barney
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five times as hard as he could.
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So far, he'd used three
of those five slaps.
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(Barney grunts)
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With the third
being doled out exactly
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two years earlier
on Thanksgiving Day 2007.
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A day that history came to know
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as "Slapsgiving."
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Are you saying...
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...what we think
you're saying?
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Probably not.
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Unless you think I'm saying
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"Slapsgiving Two:
Revenge Of The Slap,"
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in which case, yes, that's
exactly what I'm saying!
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(Ted and Robin cheer)
No way! Uh-uh.
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Slaps aren't transferable.
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Lily is the Slap Bet
Commissioner. Lil?
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Slaps are transferable.
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No!
Transferable!
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Wait, Marshall,
you realize you'll only have
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one left after this.
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Are you sure you want
to spend this slap today?
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Life is short.
I figured, Slap-e Diem.
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Okay, rule number one: the slap
must occur before sundown,
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so as not to interfere
with Lily's meal.
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Damn straight.
Two, you guys have to decide
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amongst yourselves
who gets to do it.
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Three...
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we're going to tie
Barney to this
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chair, which shall
henceforth be referred to as
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The Slapping Throne. Sound fair?
Totally.
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ROBIN: Amazing.
Absolutely not!
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It was all set to be the best
Thanksgiving ever.
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Until...
(doorbell rings)
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Are we expecting somebody else?
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It was someone Lily hadn't
seen or spoken to
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in three years.
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Dad.
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Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
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Now, Lily and her dad, Mickey,
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had always had
a tough relationship.
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Mickey's dream was to invent
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the next great
American board game.
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But his ideas
were always a little off.
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Daddy?
Yeah?
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You missed
my ballet recital.
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Yes, sweetie, but, look!
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I just put the finishing touches
on my new, hit board game,
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"Tijuana Slumlord."
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Daddy?
Uh-huh?
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You missed my gymnastics meet.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
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But this is the one!
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"Car Battery:
How Long Can You Hold On?"
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(chuckling)
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Here, Princess.
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Grab these.
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Daddy?
Mm-hmm.
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I had a nightmare.
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Aw, sweetie.
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Here, come play
Daddy's new game:
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"There's A Clown Demon
Under The Bed!"
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(screaming)
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Her whole life, Mickey
disappointed Lily.
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And she always put up with it,
until one day in 2006
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when Lily went to visit her
grandparents.
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So, Rita, are you
excited about the, uh,
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the big move to Florida?
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Actually, dear,
slight change of plans.
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We're staying here
for the time being.
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We had a slight
financial hiccup.
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MICKEY:
Ma!
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The straw to my juice box broke!
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Ma, chop, chop!
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Oh, hey, guys.
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What a pleasant surprise.
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Dad, what happened
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to your apartment?
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Oh, well, I had a little
falling out with my roommate.
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What happened?
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He wanted me to pay rent.
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Got kind of ugly.
Dad!
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You should be paying rent,
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not living
in your parents' basement.
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Hey, it's not my first choice.
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Having the old farts
right upstairs
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is crimpin' my style a bit.
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Clearly, they're not
getting the whole
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"sock on the doorknob" thing.
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Oh, they caught you with a girl?
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In a way.
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Bye, sweetheart.
I'm off to work.
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Work? You're retired.
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Now that I have
extra mouth to feed,
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I had to go back
to the steel mill.
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Rita?
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Where's my truss?
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So, not only did you stop them
From moving to Florida,
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but now you forced Grandpa
to go back to work?
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Just until I get Aldrin games Unlimted
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off the ground
with my new sensation:
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"Dog Fight Promoter."
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And then Lily gave her dad
a look that Marshall
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had only seen
a few times before.
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A look we all prayed never
to be on the receiving end of:
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her "You're Dead To Me" look.
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Which brings us back
to Thanksgiving of 2009.
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Hey, Princess.
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I brought "Diseases!"
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What is he doing here?
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I don't know,
but maybe we should,
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uh, let him in and find out.
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No, I don't want to see him!
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Get rid of him!
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Hey, Mickey.
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Just hang tight, okay?
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We'll, we?ll work this out.
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Take your time, amigo.
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I'm okays long
as I have "Diseases!"
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The fun's infectious.
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(both laughing)
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God, I hope Lily's okay.
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Me, too.
She doesn't talk about it much,
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but this thing with her dad
causes her a lot of pain.
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Just tell me which one of you's
gonna slap me!
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What?
I'm dying over here!
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Ted reaches for a chip,
I flinch!
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Robin fixes her hair, I flinch!
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I'm doing so much flinching.
It's bad for my skin.
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I'm getting crow's feet.
Crow's feet!
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Lily, come on.
It's been
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three years, okay?
That's long enough.
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Having him in my life causes me
nothing but stress.
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It's just easier for him to be dead to me.
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Okay, Lily, look.
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I supported you when
our neighbor, Mr. Sias,
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was "dead to you."
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Hey!
That's our newspaper.
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You'll get it back
in 15 minutes.
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Make it 20.
I had a steak last night.
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And I was fine when your
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bridesmaid, Whitney,
was "dead to you."
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Oh, Lily!
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You look so amazing!
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That dress is gorgeous!
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Oh, thanks, guys.
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Mm, I... I'm just
not a fan of strapless.
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I even understood when
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Mr. Park from the bodega
downstairs was "dead to you."
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One coffee, please.
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Oh, but only if you have decaf.
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I don't want to be up all night.
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Dollar fifty.
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Coffee, regular.
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Dollar fifty.
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Excuse me.
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Are you sure mine was decaf?
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You just used the same pot.
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Oh, I lie to him. Okay?
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Oh, okay.
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You son of a bitch.
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That was not decaf!
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(glass breaking)
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I supported you
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00:08:06,167 --> 00:08:09,501
with all of those random people,
but this is your father.
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Okay, can't we at least just
give him some turkey?
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00:08:12,401 --> 00:08:13,867
No.
Come on, Lily.
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00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:16,901
Please, I can't ask the guy
to leave on Thanksgiving.
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00:08:16,901 --> 00:08:18,767
Oh, you don't have to ask.
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Just tell him that it's really
important that he be here.
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00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:24,200
And before you know it, he'll be
at a board game convention
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in Toledo, giving your braces
money to some guy
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claiming to be Milton Bradley.
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00:08:28,667 --> 00:08:31,534
He was just out trying
to provide for the family.
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00:08:32,034 --> 00:08:35,600
No. No, that's what my mom did
by working two jobs.
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Marshall, that man
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00:08:37,401 --> 00:08:41,834
broke my heart every single day
for 20 years.
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Well, then we'll just give him
some dark meat.
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00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:48,900
No, seriously, Robin,
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you should get the slap.
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I mean, you're a great slapper.
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00:08:51,733 --> 00:08:52,700
In fact, I want
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00:08:52,700 --> 00:08:54,900
to study slapping
under your tutelage.
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I want to be your slap-prentice.
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00:08:58,034 --> 00:08:59,834
Don't sell yourself
short there, Teddy.
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You're a slapping rock star.
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00:09:01,201 --> 00:09:03,468
Your name should be
Eric Slapton.
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Okay, okay, guys,
this is torture.
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00:09:05,267 --> 00:09:06,434
Just put me in the chair...
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00:09:06,434 --> 00:09:08,967
Slapping Throne.
And get it over with!
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00:09:08,967 --> 00:09:11,134
Ok, he's all yours.
No-no-no-no. It's you, I insist.
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00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:12,968
Okay, I'll do it.
Great.
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00:09:12,968 --> 00:09:13,601
Wait, what?
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00:09:14,302 --> 00:09:15,601
I'm just saying, I'll slap him.
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00:09:15,601 --> 00:09:17,001
What, so that's just, like,
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the end of the discussion?
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Well, you said I could slap him.
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Uh, I was just being nice.
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If anyone's gonna slap him,
it's gonna be me.
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00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:28,900
No, it's not.
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00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:33,167
This is interesting.
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00:09:34,967 --> 00:09:37,034
Lily, he's family, okay?
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00:09:37,034 --> 00:09:39,733
And I'm sorry, but you just
don't cut off family.
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Oh, well, that's easy for you
to say when you come
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from the most ridiculously close
family in the world.
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We are not ridiculously close.
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Really?
Yeah.
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What about the Eriksen Family
Dinner every single Sunday?
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Everything looks delicious,
Mother Eriksen.
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Thank you,
Papa Bear.
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Marshall, would you
like to say grace?
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(on monitor):
Well, I would be
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00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,568
happy to, Mother.
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00:10:02,568 --> 00:10:06,201
Everyone, please join hands.
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00:10:10,534 --> 00:10:11,900
Dear Lord...
258
00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:13,834
I'm sorry, but that's weird.
259
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:15,867
A family should be that close.
260
00:10:15,867 --> 00:10:17,967
And I want our future family
to be that close.
261
00:10:17,967 --> 00:10:19,101
And that includes your dad.
262
00:10:19,101 --> 00:10:21,134
I can't believe
you're taking his side.
263
00:10:21,134 --> 00:10:22,334
Lily...
Let me
264
00:10:22,334 --> 00:10:25,434
be clear on this:
that man will never
265
00:10:25,434 --> 00:10:28,568
cross the threshold
into this home, ever!
266
00:10:28,568 --> 00:10:31,600
It's just gonna be, like,
five more minutes.
267
00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:33,468
Hopefully soon, amigo.
268
00:10:33,468 --> 00:10:36,101
I'm fighting a losing battle
with hemorrhoids here.
269
00:10:36,101 --> 00:10:37,967
Oh, that's one of the diseases?
270
00:10:37,967 --> 00:10:40,334
No.
271
00:10:43,633 --> 00:10:46,000
Ted, there is an hour
before the sun sets,
272
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,633
at which point, neither one
of us gets to slap Barney.
273
00:10:48,633 --> 00:10:50,401
So just let me have it.
I'm the one who had
274
00:10:50,401 --> 00:10:52,134
the idea to call the Port
Authority Lost and Found.
275
00:10:52,634 --> 00:10:54,634
Ooh, that's a good point.
Rebuttal?
276
00:10:54,634 --> 00:10:56,300
I'm the one who slipped
the guy a 20!
277
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:57,667
Oh, philosophical
conundrum.
278
00:10:57,667 --> 00:11:00,133
Idea versus execution.
Please discuss at length.
279
00:11:00,133 --> 00:11:02,167
I carried that huge turkey
all the way up here.
280
00:11:02,168 --> 00:11:03,568
I paid the cab fare.
281
00:11:03,867 --> 00:11:05,934
Well, you slept
with one of my best friends!
282
00:11:05,934 --> 00:11:08,001
What?! You, you said
283
00:11:08,001 --> 00:11:09,667
you were okay with that.
Well, I'm not!
284
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,601
Well, why didn't you
say something at the time?
285
00:11:11,601 --> 00:11:13,233
Because I'm still in love
with you!
286
00:11:16,667 --> 00:11:18,634
Do you really want to slap
Barney so bad
287
00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:20,901
that you would lie
about being in love with me?
288
00:11:20,901 --> 00:11:22,601
I rely want to slap him, okay?
289
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:26,100
Yes, your dad has made some
mistakes in the past,
290
00:11:26,100 --> 00:11:27,767
but he's a different
person now.
291
00:11:28,267 --> 00:11:30,134
He's moved out of your
grandparents' house.
292
00:11:30,134 --> 00:11:31,301
He's got a job.
293
00:11:31,301 --> 00:11:33,000
He's paying off his IRS debts.
294
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,367
Wait, how do you know all that?
295
00:11:36,468 --> 00:11:37,800
Like, body language.
296
00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:41,834
Okay, well, yeah,
we met for a drink last week.
297
00:11:42,867 --> 00:11:44,334
I mis her a ton.
298
00:11:44,334 --> 00:11:46,334
Little princess.
299
00:11:47,034 --> 00:11:48,700
She ever talk about me?
300
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:51,767
Yeah. Yeah, like, all the time.
301
00:11:51,767 --> 00:11:54,967
Um, she tells this one really
sweet story about...
302
00:11:55,467 --> 00:11:57,400
So never, huh?
No, not a word.
303
00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:58,801
But...
304
00:11:58,801 --> 00:12:00,467
it doesn't have to be that way.
305
00:12:00,467 --> 00:12:02,367
We can, we can fix this, right?
306
00:12:02,367 --> 00:12:03,734
(scoffs)
307
00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:06,634
You know, I always thought
it'd get fixed at the wedding.
308
00:12:07,567 --> 00:12:10,300
I even wrote a toast.
309
00:12:10,300 --> 00:12:12,701
But then, no invite.
310
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,300
Hell, I haven't even seen a wedding photo.
311
00:12:17,300 --> 00:12:19,068
MARSHALL:
And then, right before my eyes,
312
00:12:19,068 --> 00:12:22,400
your father
broke down crying.
313
00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:24,701
(sobbing)
314
00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:27,834
That's it!
You're coming to Thanksgiving!
315
00:12:28,968 --> 00:12:30,534
You invited him?!
316
00:12:31,034 --> 00:12:32,867
The guy was, like, blabbering.
317
00:12:32,867 --> 00:12:34,900
What was I going to do?
And then, some jerk
318
00:12:34,900 --> 00:12:36,600
at the next table
called him a sissy,
319
00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:38,501
which I thought
was totally uncalled-for.
320
00:12:38,501 --> 00:12:39,600
I can't believe you.
321
00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:41,800
Marshall, what gives you
the right to do that?
322
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,034
You and I are married.
323
00:12:43,034 --> 00:12:45,167
And that means
he's my family, too.
324
00:12:52,168 --> 00:12:54,368
Mickey, come on in.
325
00:13:06,033 --> 00:13:08,201
(timer ticking)
Ted, you better roll quickly.
326
00:13:08,201 --> 00:13:10,034
Your gall bladder's
about to burst.
327
00:13:10,034 --> 00:13:11,900
You know, Mickey, it's been,
like, half an hour.
328
00:13:11,900 --> 00:13:13,434
I think we should
go look for Lily.
329
00:13:13,934 --> 00:13:14,968
Eh, she just needs
some time to cool down.
330
00:13:14,968 --> 00:13:15,801
Let's finish the game.
331
00:13:15,801 --> 00:13:16,868
Yeah, play
another round.
332
00:13:17,068 --> 00:13:18,267
Best of seven!
333
00:13:18,267 --> 00:13:19,367
Damn it, Robin!
334
00:13:19,367 --> 00:13:20,701
I've known Barney the longest.
335
00:13:20,701 --> 00:13:22,034
I get to slap him.
336
00:13:22,034 --> 00:13:24,167
That slap is mine, Mosby.
337
00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:25,934
I've never slapped Barney...
338
00:13:25,934 --> 00:13:27,634
above the waist.
339
00:13:27,634 --> 00:13:29,434
Look, I've wanted to slap Barney
since the moment
340
00:13:29,434 --> 00:13:30,968
I met him! You don't think
that I want
341
00:13:30,968 --> 00:13:33,133
to slap Barney? I've waited...
Wait, wait a minute. Wait a mute!
342
00:13:33,133 --> 00:13:35,968
This slap was supposed to be
a wonderful thing, a gift,
343
00:13:36,468 --> 00:13:39,800
and look, it's turned us
against each other.
344
00:13:39,800 --> 00:13:42,501
My God, you're right.
345
00:13:42,501 --> 00:13:47,034
This once pure fruit has turned
into a poison slapple.
346
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:49,468
You know what?
Seriously, you take it.
347
00:13:49,468 --> 00:13:50,600
Are you sure?
348
00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:52,367
Slapsolutely.
349
00:13:53,134 --> 00:13:54,234
I really think
350
00:13:54,234 --> 00:13:55,633
that we should
go look for Lily.
351
00:13:55,633 --> 00:13:59,568
Ted? Gall bladder
about to pop.
352
00:13:59,568 --> 00:14:00,700
Okay, it's decided.
353
00:14:00,700 --> 00:14:02,767
Barney, come on. Get in the Throne.
Hmm?
354
00:14:02,767 --> 00:14:04,600
Are you...
Yep. Come on.
355
00:14:04,600 --> 00:14:06,034
Well, you, um...
356
00:14:06,034 --> 00:14:07,900
Uh, well, I guess that is
357
00:14:07,900 --> 00:14:09,900
the best decision, Robin.
I mean...
358
00:14:09,900 --> 00:14:12,501
men are stronger than women.
359
00:14:12,501 --> 00:14:13,733
D-Don't listen to him.
360
00:14:13,733 --> 00:14:15,501
Okay, it's been decided.
Okay.
361
00:14:15,501 --> 00:14:17,667
And that's what you've always
wanted, isn't it, Robin?
362
00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:20,633
A strong man
to take care of you?
363
00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:23,800
I mean, sure. Growing up,
you were a scrapper,
364
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:25,600
Playing hockey with the boys,
365
00:14:25,600 --> 00:14:27,867
skinning your knees
on the ice.
366
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:30,334
But what you couldn't
tell your teammates--
367
00:14:30,334 --> 00:14:33,167
what you couldn't
even tell yourself--
368
00:14:33,167 --> 00:14:35,200
was that all you really wanted
369
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,767
was that pretty white dress
370
00:14:37,767 --> 00:14:40,934
in that pretty white chapel.
371
00:14:40,935 --> 00:14:43,935
And at the end of the centre aisle,
372
00:14:43,935 --> 00:14:47,035
strewn with pretty white flowers,
373
00:14:47,035 --> 00:14:48,935
a man
374
00:14:48,935 --> 00:14:51,202
to do all your slapping for you.
375
00:14:51,202 --> 00:14:52,701
Let me at him!
Robin! Come on!
376
00:14:52,701 --> 00:14:53,634
Hold on!
(dings)
377
00:14:53,634 --> 00:14:55,268
Oh!
378
00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:57,268
Oh, my God.
379
00:14:57,268 --> 00:14:58,235
What just happened?
380
00:14:58,235 --> 00:15:00,701
Sorry, Ted.
Gallbladder burst.
381
00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:02,768
You move back
three spaces.
382
00:15:03,268 --> 00:15:05,002
You come in here,
383
00:15:05,002 --> 00:15:07,902
and you watch your daughter
leave and you don't even care.
384
00:15:07,902 --> 00:15:10,668
And now you've destroyed
Thanksgiving dinner!
385
00:15:10,668 --> 00:15:12,602
Lily-Lily worked
all day on this!
386
00:15:12,602 --> 00:15:14,535
Relax. It's not real bile.
387
00:15:14,535 --> 00:15:17,134
It's just lead-based
paint from China.
388
00:15:17,134 --> 00:15:19,234
And horse bile.
389
00:15:19,234 --> 00:15:21,735
And at that moment,
Marshall gave Mickey a look
390
00:15:21,735 --> 00:15:25,335
none of us has ever
seen him give anyone.
391
00:15:25,335 --> 00:15:26,635
What's this? What's he doing?
392
00:15:26,635 --> 00:15:28,368
Did you swallow
some of that paint?
393
00:15:28,368 --> 00:15:30,468
This is my "you're dead to me" look.
394
00:15:30,468 --> 00:15:32,602
Oh. Oh.
Okay.
395
00:15:32,602 --> 00:15:34,335
Yeah, you know,
Lily's is so much better...
396
00:15:34,335 --> 00:15:36,201
Get out of my house!
397
00:15:39,935 --> 00:15:41,502
Hey.
398
00:15:42,968 --> 00:15:44,068
Mr. Park's, huh?
399
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,601
This is the last place
I expected to find you.
400
00:15:45,601 --> 00:15:47,202
Marshall?
Lily, I'm sorry.
401
00:15:47,202 --> 00:15:49,668
But just hear me out.
402
00:15:49,668 --> 00:15:52,668
I used to think that
family was-was a right.
403
00:15:52,668 --> 00:15:56,435
But it's not. It's a privilege,
and it has to be earned.
404
00:15:56,435 --> 00:15:57,701
I kicked your dad out.
405
00:15:57,701 --> 00:15:58,901
And I promise,
406
00:15:58,901 --> 00:16:02,202
baby, I will... I will never
make you see him again.
407
00:16:02,202 --> 00:16:03,701
Oh, what?
408
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:05,168
Baby, what-what happened?
409
00:16:05,168 --> 00:16:07,935
(tearfully): Marshall, I came in
here because it was cold
410
00:16:07,935 --> 00:16:10,569
and this was the only
place that was open.
411
00:16:10,569 --> 00:16:13,634
I wasn't even gonna look
Mr. Park in the eye.
412
00:16:13,634 --> 00:16:16,001
And then I found out...
413
00:16:16,001 --> 00:16:17,701
Mr. Park died.
414
00:16:19,701 --> 00:16:20,734
Oh, my God.
415
00:16:20,734 --> 00:16:22,768
He really is dead to me.
416
00:16:23,435 --> 00:16:25,001
And if I feel this bad
417
00:16:25,001 --> 00:16:26,901
about never making up
with Mr. Park,
418
00:16:27,901 --> 00:16:31,202
a guy who meant literally nothing to me?
419
00:16:31,202 --> 00:16:34,801
(sobbing)
420
00:16:34,801 --> 00:16:37,102
We got to go get my dad.
421
00:16:37,102 --> 00:16:38,435
Okay.
422
00:16:38,435 --> 00:16:40,402
NARRATOR:
So that's how
423
00:16:40,402 --> 00:16:42,335
on Thanksgiving 2009,
424
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,801
your Aunt Lily
performed a miracle.
425
00:16:44,801 --> 00:16:47,734
She brought a man
back from the dead.
426
00:16:47,734 --> 00:16:50,268
Everyone.
427
00:16:50,268 --> 00:16:52,035
Before we get started, Barney,
428
00:16:52,035 --> 00:16:55,135
We?re going to need you
on The Slapping Throne.
429
00:16:56,135 --> 00:16:58,135
Slap Bet Commissioner,
430
00:16:58,135 --> 00:17:00,202
surely tying me
to a chair is a breach...
431
00:17:00,202 --> 00:17:02,035
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Less yappin', more slappin'.
432
00:17:02,035 --> 00:17:03,202
(groans)
433
00:17:03,202 --> 00:17:05,368
Ted, Robin. It's two
minutes until sundown.
434
00:17:05,368 --> 00:17:07,035
Have you guys decided
which one of you
435
00:17:07,035 --> 00:17:10,068
is going to get to slap
Barney right in his face?
436
00:17:11,734 --> 00:17:12,801
It's gonna be Ted.
437
00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:14,601
What? Why me?
438
00:17:15,101 --> 00:17:18,234
Last year, you got left at the altar.
439
00:17:18,234 --> 00:17:19,935
You lost your job.
440
00:17:19,935 --> 00:17:22,535
But you've come
such a long way since then.
441
00:17:23,335 --> 00:17:25,802
I'm so proud of you, Ted.
442
00:17:25,802 --> 00:17:29,902
You deserve to slap someone
in his face as hard as you can.
443
00:17:30,802 --> 00:17:31,702
Thanks.
444
00:17:31,702 --> 00:17:33,368
This is the worst.
445
00:17:34,501 --> 00:17:36,635
(clears throat)
446
00:17:37,468 --> 00:17:39,635
(breathing deeply)
447
00:17:40,468 --> 00:17:41,401
Mama!
448
00:17:41,901 --> 00:17:44,168
No, Robin. Look...
449
00:17:44,168 --> 00:17:45,935
You just went through
your own breakup, and...
450
00:17:45,935 --> 00:17:48,569
while I know you and Barney
left it on good terms,
451
00:17:48,569 --> 00:17:50,569
isn't there some part of you,
452
00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:53,368
deep down, that wants to slap him
453
00:17:53,368 --> 00:17:54,701
right in his face?
454
00:17:54,701 --> 00:17:56,202
There is.
455
00:17:56,202 --> 00:17:57,302
I know there is.
456
00:17:57,302 --> 00:17:59,268
This is basically hell on Earth.
457
00:18:02,535 --> 00:18:04,135
Oh...
All right.
458
00:18:04,135 --> 00:18:05,835
(humming, grunting)
Oh...
459
00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:07,202
TED:
You got this.
460
00:18:08,302 --> 00:18:09,569
It hurts!
461
00:18:09,569 --> 00:18:11,868
No. I can't do it.
462
00:18:11,868 --> 00:18:13,601
I can't take this from you, Ted.
463
00:18:13,601 --> 00:18:15,001
Nor I, you.
464
00:18:15,001 --> 00:18:16,268
Oh, thank God.
465
00:18:16,268 --> 00:18:17,901
So, I'd like to
make a gesture.
466
00:18:18,901 --> 00:18:20,368
Mickey?
467
00:18:20,801 --> 00:18:22,102
Oh, no way!
468
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,801
I'm glad you and Lily are
trying to work things out.
469
00:18:25,202 --> 00:18:27,668
So, to welcome you to our little family,
470
00:18:28,168 --> 00:18:30,668
I'd like to offer you this slap.
471
00:18:30,668 --> 00:18:31,635
Really?
472
00:18:33,168 --> 00:18:35,668
Well, I feel a little weird?
473
00:18:35,668 --> 00:18:39,635
I-I just met Barney,
474
00:18:39,635 --> 00:18:41,335
But how often
do you get a chance
475
00:18:41,335 --> 00:18:43,969
to slap someone right in his face?
476
00:18:44,868 --> 00:18:47,501
(groaning)
477
00:18:49,868 --> 00:18:51,134
Soft!
478
00:18:51,902 --> 00:18:53,602
I'm sorry. I can't do it.
479
00:18:54,102 --> 00:18:55,335
Oh, thank God.
480
00:18:55,335 --> 00:18:56,502
Lily?
481
00:18:56,502 --> 00:18:59,535
I know I haven't been
much of a father to you.
482
00:18:59,535 --> 00:19:01,235
You are kidding me.
483
00:19:01,735 --> 00:19:04,735
So for all the ballet
recitals that I missed
484
00:19:04,735 --> 00:19:08,069
for all the art shows that
I should've been at...
485
00:19:08,935 --> 00:19:10,101
...for the wedding gift
486
00:19:10,101 --> 00:19:13,002
that I never got a
chance to give to you...
487
00:19:13,002 --> 00:19:14,802
Princess...
488
00:19:14,802 --> 00:19:17,902
I give this slap to you.
489
00:19:17,902 --> 00:19:19,702
Oh, Daddy!
490
00:19:19,702 --> 00:19:20,868
No.
491
00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,101
No, no, no, no.
492
00:19:22,101 --> 00:19:23,468
She is the Slap Bet Commissioner.
493
00:19:23,468 --> 00:19:25,234
She's supposed to remain impartial!
494
00:19:25,234 --> 00:19:28,702
Slap Bet Commissioner
says it's okay.
495
00:19:28,702 --> 00:19:30,902
This is not good.
496
00:19:30,902 --> 00:19:32,069
Okay.
497
00:19:32,069 --> 00:19:33,134
Please, please, please.
Let me...
498
00:19:33,134 --> 00:19:34,335
Shh, shh, shh.
Let me...
499
00:19:34,335 --> 00:19:37,134
Just close your eyes.
It'll be over soon.
500
00:19:38,735 --> 00:19:40,401
Running through a meadow.
501
00:19:40,901 --> 00:19:42,569
I can't do it.
502
00:19:42,569 --> 00:19:44,502
Why can't I do it?
503
00:19:44,502 --> 00:19:47,168
Because this slap
504
00:19:47,168 --> 00:19:49,535
has done exactly what I hoped.
505
00:19:49,535 --> 00:19:51,302
It's brought us all
closer together.
506
00:19:51,302 --> 00:19:53,701
And it's caused us to recognize
507
00:19:53,701 --> 00:19:55,035
both the frailty
508
00:19:55,035 --> 00:19:58,535
and the greatness
in ourselves
509
00:19:58,535 --> 00:19:59,901
and each other.
510
00:19:59,901 --> 00:20:01,569
Oh, give me a break.
511
00:20:01,569 --> 00:20:04,968
And that is why...
512
00:20:04,968 --> 00:20:09,102
there will be no slap today.
513
00:20:09,102 --> 00:20:10,968
(gasps)
514
00:20:10,968 --> 00:20:12,701
Oh, my God!
515
00:20:13,201 --> 00:20:16,802
This is the best Thanksgiving...
516
00:20:16,802 --> 00:20:18,668
That's four!
517
00:20:19,169 --> 00:20:20,169
So, turkey?
518
00:20:23,501 --> 00:20:26,201
New from Aldrin
Games Unlimited, it's...
519
00:20:26,201 --> 00:20:27,568
Slap Bet!
520
00:20:27,568 --> 00:20:32,134
The slap-happy game
that's a real hit.
521
00:20:33,168 --> 00:20:35,702
* You just got slapped
522
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,702
* Across the face,
my friend... *
523
00:20:37,702 --> 00:20:39,268
For kids of all ages.
524
00:20:39,268 --> 00:20:40,602
* You just got slapped
525
00:20:40,602 --> 00:20:43,069
* Oh, that really
just happened... *
526
00:20:43,069 --> 00:20:44,069
(slapping)
527
00:20:44,069 --> 00:20:46,668
* Oh, everybody saw it, h
528
00:20:46,668 --> 00:20:49,035
* Everybody laughed
and clapped *
529
00:20:49,035 --> 00:20:50,468
* 'Cause it was awesome... *
530
00:20:50,468 --> 00:20:51,602
I win!
531
00:20:51,602 --> 00:20:53,568
* The way that
you just got slapped. *
532
00:20:53,568 --> 00:20:55,468
Slap yourself silly
with Slap Bet,
533
00:20:55,468 --> 00:20:57,234
the happy hitting game
from Aldrin.
534
00:20:59,535 --> 00:21:15,435
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00