1
00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:03,100
Lily has always
been one of those people

2
00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:05,300
who loves their birthday.
Loves it.

3
00:00:06,400 --> 00:00:09,600
It's my birthday!

4
00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:16,200
So it's a good thing
she married Marshall.

5
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:20,500
It's still my birthday!

6
00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:23,000
Because he loves
planning birthdays.

7
00:00:23,100 --> 00:00:25,900
Feliz cumpleaÃ±os, baby.

8
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,300
The theme of this today's
birthday breakfast

9
00:00:28,400 --> 00:00:30,200
in bed is...

10
00:00:30,300 --> 00:00:32,000
"Spanish Interlude"

11
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,700
â?ª â?ª

12
00:00:33,800 --> 00:00:35,400
Ooh!

13
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:37,400
And...

14
00:00:37,900 --> 00:00:38,900
How on Earth did we end up

15
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,100
in the lyrical rolling hills
of Northern Spain?

16
00:00:42,200 --> 00:00:43,300
Yay!

17
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:46,100
Baby, tonight is going
to be so much fun.

18
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,200
Just the five of us,

19
00:00:47,300 --> 00:00:49,300
black-tie dinner,
and Ted is picking up

20
00:00:49,400 --> 00:00:51,600
your favorite cognac pumpkin
cheesecake from Edgar's.

21
00:00:51,700 --> 00:00:52,600
Yay!

22
00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:53,800
Okay, I am off

23
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:56,400
to run your super secret
birthday errand.

24
00:00:56,500 --> 00:00:57,600
Yay!

25
00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:00,500
And I'm taking
this guy with me

26
00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,500
because I don't like the way
he's looking at you.

27
00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,500
Yay.

28
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,300
A new camera!

29
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:11,000
Oh, thank you, Marshall.
I love it!

30
00:01:11,100 --> 00:01:12,300
Well, little bonus:

31
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,300
I took some naked pictures
of myself before I wrapped it.

32
00:01:15,400 --> 00:01:16,600
Put a bow on it.

33
00:01:16,700 --> 00:01:18,100
There wasn't a bow on it.

34
00:01:18,200 --> 00:01:20,800
Wrong "it."

35
00:01:20,900 --> 00:01:22,200
Thank you, honey.
I'm going to get

36
00:01:22,300 --> 00:01:24,600
some great shots of our
little group with this.

37
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,000
Now, kids, you've seen
your Aunt Lily's

38
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,600
photo albums:
leather bound,

39
00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:31,400
acid free paper,

40
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,700
adorable handwritten captions.

41
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And most importantly,
the group shot.

42
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Cute photo, right, kids?

43
00:01:38,300 --> 00:01:39,800
But what you don't see
is what happened

44
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:42,100
ten seconds
before this picture was taken.

45
00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:44,700
Okay, I want to get
the perfect group shot.

46
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,300
Marshall, sit between
Barney and Robin.

47
00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:48,300
Why?

48
00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:50,000
Oh, you know,
uh, light,

49
00:01:50,100 --> 00:01:52,000
color, balance, aperture...

50
00:01:52,100 --> 00:01:53,400
You're just saying
camera words.

51
00:01:53,500 --> 00:01:55,200
Wait- you don't want
Barney and me

52
00:01:55,300 --> 00:01:57,000
to look like a couple
in this picture,

53
00:01:57,100 --> 00:01:58,400
do you?
Of course I don't!

54
00:01:58,500 --> 00:01:59,700
You two aren't going to last!

55
00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:00,900
I'm going for timeless here.

56
00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,700
How dare you?

57
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:03,900
That is so rude!

58
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,000
It's true.

59
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:06,200
Totally true-
we're running

60
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:08,200
on fumes here,
but still rude.

61
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,600
We hated Lily's group shots.

62
00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:15,400
Okay, maybe I get
a little bossy,

63
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:17,500
but I just want
to remember those times.

64
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:18,900
Like tonight.

65
00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,400
I can't imagine
a better birthday than,

66
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:24,300
than being here with just
my four best friends.

67
00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:26,300
Yay!

68
00:02:26,400 --> 00:02:28,800
And Ted's here now. Yay!
Oh!

69
00:02:31,900 --> 00:02:33,800
Happy birthday!

70
00:02:33,900 --> 00:02:35,600
This is Amanda.

71
00:02:35,700 --> 00:02:38,700
And Amanda... yay.

72
00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:55,500
Ted, you were supposed
to bring a cheesecake,

73
00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,100
but instead you
brought two grocery bags

74
00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,800
and a woman we've
never seen before.

75
00:02:58,900 --> 00:03:00,800
Hi. I'm Marshall.
Welcome to our home.

76
00:03:00,900 --> 00:03:01,900
Start talking.

77
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,100
Amanda's going to make
Lily a cake.

78
00:03:04,200 --> 00:03:05,200
She's a chef.

79
00:03:05,300 --> 00:03:06,800
We met when I was
at a restaurant

80
00:03:06,900 --> 00:03:08,900
last week and I sent
some soup back.

81
00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,700
Lucky, she's got
such pretty hair

82
00:03:10,800 --> 00:03:12,300
I didn't mind eating
a little bit of it.

83
00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,200
They call me
"The Shedder" at work.

84
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:18,100
I'm so glad you're
making my birthday cake!

85
00:03:18,200 --> 00:03:19,900
In honor of Lily's

86
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,500
32nd birthday,
I've got

87
00:03:21,600 --> 00:03:24,500
a lot of great games
planned, starting with...

88
00:03:24,600 --> 00:03:26,700
"Lil-ial Pursuit."

89
00:03:27,600 --> 00:03:29,000
Okay, who's
got number one?

90
00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:30,200
I do.

91
00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:31,400
Of course you do.

92
00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,600
Okay, Amanda
goes first.

93
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32 seconds on the clock

94
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:39,800
to answer as many questions
as possible. And...

95
00:03:40,300 --> 00:03:41,500
Go! Question one:

96
00:03:41,600 --> 00:03:42,700
What is Lily's favorite color?

97
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:45,600
Well, she's wearing pink,

98
00:03:45,700 --> 00:03:47,400
so I'm going
to say pink.

99
00:03:47,500 --> 00:03:48,400
Okay, that's Robin.

100
00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:50,000
Oh, uh...

101
00:03:50,100 --> 00:03:51,300
Her...

102
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:53,700
favorite color is...

103
00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,700
elbow.

104
00:03:56,500 --> 00:03:59,600
I believe Ted was mouthing
the word "yellow."

105
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:03,000
Which also
would have been wrong.

106
00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:09,000
This game is called
"Gilding The Lily."

107
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:10,600
Nice.
Thank you.

108
00:04:10,700 --> 00:04:11,900
Okay, you've all
written down

109
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,800
your favorite things
about the birthday girl.

110
00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:16,500
And Lilypad,
you guess who wrote what.

111
00:04:16,600 --> 00:04:17,500
"Lily makes

112
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:18,700
"everyone in her life,

113
00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,200
from her friends
to her students..."

114
00:04:20,300 --> 00:04:21,500
Lily's a kindergarten teacher-

115
00:04:21,600 --> 00:04:22,800
that's what he means
by "students."

116
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:23,800
"...feel loved.

117
00:04:23,900 --> 00:04:25,300
"She makes the best

118
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,500
"oatmeal raisin cookies ever,

119
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,500
can recite every line
from Goonies..."

120
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:31,100
Lily saw Goonies in the theater
right after her parents separated.

121
00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:33,300
For a long time after that, she
had real trouble trusting people...

122
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Ted!

123
00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,600
"And she's the strongest person
I've ever met.

124
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:40,000
"I can't imagine
my life without her.

125
00:04:40,100 --> 00:04:41,600
I love you, Lily."

126
00:04:41,700 --> 00:04:44,000
Aww... Robin!

127
00:04:44,100 --> 00:04:45,600
Of course it was me.

128
00:04:45,700 --> 00:04:47,200
Come on.
Aww, that's so sweet.

129
00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:50,000
Okay, Lily,
you try to guess

130
00:04:50,100 --> 00:04:52,000
who wrote this.

131
00:04:57,700 --> 00:04:59,300
"You seem really nice."

132
00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:01,700
Oh...

133
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,300
I'm going
to guess Amanda?

134
00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,300
No, that w me.

135
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,500
And I meant every word.

136
00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:10,500
Well, I should get back
to that cake.

137
00:05:10,600 --> 00:05:12,800
Okay, let me know
if you need anything.

138
00:05:16,200 --> 00:05:17,600
All right, quick!
Let's do the group photo!

139
00:05:17,700 --> 00:05:19,100
Everybody gather
around the fireplace.

140
00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,600
Oh, uh, hang on, I'll, uh,
I'll let Amanda know.

141
00:05:21,700 --> 00:05:23,300
Oh, no, that's okay.
She's busy in the kitchen.

142
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,000
Let's not bother her. Come on.

143
00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:26,600
Hey, hang on a second.
You...

144
00:05:26,700 --> 00:05:29,200
You don't want Amanda
in the photo, do you?

145
00:05:29,300 --> 00:05:31,000
No, no, it's just, you know,

146
00:05:31,100 --> 00:05:33,800
auto-focus,
shutter speed, zoom...

147
00:05:33,900 --> 00:05:35,900
Lily, what's going on?

148
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,300
Who wants a party hat?

149
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,900
Hey, look!
Look, I'm a bird!

150
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,900
Let's all be birds.

151
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,200
Lily, tell me the truth.

152
00:05:43,300 --> 00:05:45,000
No, of course not.
I'm not going to let

153
00:05:45,100 --> 00:05:49,300
another one of your dumb skanks
ruin my precious memories.

154
00:05:55,700 --> 00:05:57,300
Lily, what are you
talking about?

155
00:05:57,400 --> 00:05:59,700
Ted, you always do this.

156
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,800
You bring girls
that we barely know

157
00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:03,400
to all our big group events.

158
00:06:03,500 --> 00:06:05,400
I do not.
Oh, really?

159
00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:07,700
Oh, well, let's just
take a little walk

160
00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,200
down Random Skank Lane.

161
00:06:10,300 --> 00:06:13,000
Or, or we could just
keep on a-strolling down

162
00:06:13,100 --> 00:06:14,800
Best Birthday Ever Avenue.

163
00:06:14,900 --> 00:06:17,600
Do I get a vote?
Skank Lane! Skank Lane!

164
00:06:17,700 --> 00:06:20,400
Hey, hey, guys. I've composed
a song for the evening.

165
00:06:20,500 --> 00:06:22,600
Follow along.
The chorus goes like this:

166
00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:24,700
â?ª Happy, happy Lily day â?ª

167
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,000
â?ª Happy, happy
Lily day... â?ª

168
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,000
Christmas morning,
four years ago.

169
00:06:28,100 --> 00:06:32,800
Our first Christmas together,
just the five of us.

170
00:06:32,900 --> 00:06:35,000
Ooh, Ted, here's another
fun little trivia me.

171
00:06:35,100 --> 00:06:37,900
It's called:
Name That Bitch.

172
00:06:40,500 --> 00:06:44,100
It's, it is Sa... San...

173
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,200
Wrong. You're
thinking of Santa,

174
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:47,900
'cause it was Christmas.

175
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:50,100
Fun fact- each year,
my mother has Easter tea

176
00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,100
with her friend Bunny.

177
00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:54,600
Okay, not that fun.

178
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:55,800
I remember her name.

179
00:06:55,900 --> 00:06:56,900
It's Sarah.

180
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:59,400
Close. It's Leilani.

181
00:06:59,500 --> 00:07:01,400
She just had to come
to Christmas because you said,

182
00:07:01,500 --> 00:07:03,600
"Guys, she might be the one."

183
00:07:03,700 --> 00:07:05,500
And she's
not the only

184
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,900
"might be the one."

185
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,100
New Year's Eve, 2007:

186
00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,500
Barney, Lily, Robin,
Ted, Marshall

187
00:07:12,600 --> 00:07:14,900
and "She's the One" Emily.

188
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:17,100
Robin's Uncle Cecil's funeral:

189
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,100
Marshall, Lily,
Robin, Barney, Ted and...

190
00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,200
"this just proves
you find the one

191
00:07:22,300 --> 00:07:24,400
when you're not looking" Isabel.

192
00:07:24,500 --> 00:07:26,200
My appenx surgery:

193
00:07:26,300 --> 00:07:29,100
Robin, Marshall,
Barney, Lily, Ted, and...

194
00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:32,000
Well, this one you admitted
you were just trying to bang.

195
00:07:32,100 --> 00:07:34,200
Respect.
Oh, hey.

196
00:07:34,300 --> 00:07:35,700
Remember this yoga instructor

197
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:37,200
you brought
to my birthday last year?

198
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,600
â?ª You. â?ª

199
00:07:38,700 --> 00:07:39,800
Thank you.

200
00:07:39,900 --> 00:07:41,100
Thank you.
Oh, my- oh, my God.

201
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:42,800
You guys are not going
to believe who just came in.

202
00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:44,700
Don't look.
Don't look!

203
00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:46,000
Why aren't you looking?!

204
00:07:46,100 --> 00:07:48,200
It's Slash
from Guns N' Roses!

205
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:52,500
Okay, okay, group shot.
Group shot!

206
00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,400
And we got it.

207
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:57,900
We got a picture
with Slash on my birthday.

208
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,000
Awesome, right? Right?

209
00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,500
We were there.
We know how this ends.

210
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,500
Wrong!

211
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:06,000
You know what's funny
about this picture?

212
00:08:06,100 --> 00:08:07,700
He was grabbing my ass.
Really?

213
00:08:07,800 --> 00:08:09,700
He was grabbing my ass, too.
He was grabbing

214
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,800
my ass, too- how many hands
does that guy have?

215
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:13,900
No wonder he's such
a good guitarist.

216
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:17,100
Actually, I'm sorry dude,
I thought that you were Lily.

217
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,100
Wait a second.
Look at these pictures again.

218
00:08:19,200 --> 00:08:21,400
Barney has the same pose
in each shot

219
00:08:21,500 --> 00:08:24,100
and these are,
like, years apart.

220
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:30,300
Ah, yes, about that:

221
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,800
I never take a bad picture.

222
00:08:32,900 --> 00:08:34,400
Never have, never will.

223
00:08:34,500 --> 00:08:37,300
There has to be
a bad picture of you.

224
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:38,700
Nope, not one.

225
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:39,900
What about from
elementary school?

226
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,600
Everyone has bad
pictures from school.

227
00:08:41,700 --> 00:08:43,600
Not the Barnacle.

228
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:46,600
I always look

229
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:49,100
drop dead, stone cold amazing.

230
00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,400
Unlike Marshall, who just looks
dead, stoned and cold.

231
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:54,000
He was right, kids.

232
00:08:54,100 --> 00:08:56,300
Your Uncle Marshall
does a lot of things well,

233
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,000
but he does not take
a good picture.

234
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,300
They're not

235
00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,800
all bad, okay?
Like... here.

236
00:09:04,900 --> 00:09:06,900
Here, look at this one.
My eyes are open.

237
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,200
Marshall, no!
Oh, you did

238
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:09,700
put a bow on it.

239
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:10,800
Chip and dip, Barney?

240
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:13,000
Sure.

241
00:09:13,100 --> 00:09:14,000
Aha!

242
00:09:14,100 --> 00:09:16,700
Got it! A bad picture.

243
00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,700
Is it though?

244
00:09:21,300 --> 00:09:22,500
No! Wait!

245
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:23,800
You were eating a chip!

246
00:09:23,900 --> 00:09:25,600
Where's the chip?

247
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:29,100
It is physically impossible
for me to take a bad picture.

248
00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:31,400
I don't know why.
Ask God.

249
00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:34,700
Look, Lily,
I'm sorry about Amanda.

250
00:09:34,800 --> 00:09:35,900
I'm just going to say it.

251
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,900
You are being
a birthday brat.

252
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:40,400
You're all bent out
of shape just 'cause

253
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:41,700
you think I ruined
a couple pictures.

254
00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:42,900
Oh, Ted.

255
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,500
These girls have ruined

256
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:49,500
so many events,
or are you forgetting Paris?

257
00:09:49,600 --> 00:09:50,900
What happened in Paris?

258
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:54,300
It was junior year and I was
studying abroad in Paris,

259
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:56,100
and I hadn't seen
Marshall for two months.

260
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,600
Two months.

261
00:09:57,700 --> 00:09:59,800
And I had just started
having sex.

262
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:02,000
I wasn't ready to stop
for two months.

263
00:10:02,100 --> 00:10:05,000
And Marshall was coming
to visit over spring break.

264
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:08,300
And at the last minute,
Ted decided to come

265
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:12,700
with the girl he had just
gotten back together with, Karen.

266
00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,800
Karen.

267
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:17,000
I am so excited you're here.

268
00:10:17,100 --> 00:10:19,000
I'm so excited
to go to Paris.

269
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:21,400
I'm so excited
to have sex again.

270
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,500
But just before the plane
took off...

271
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,200
Wait, I want to tell
you something.

272
00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:30,700
Really? 'Cause I think I want
to tell you the same thing.

273
00:10:30,800 --> 00:10:32,100
Is your thing, I had sex

274
00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:34,200
with my philosophy
professor last night?

275
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,300
'Cause that's my thing.

276
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,100
And thus began the longest
seven and a half hours

277
00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:41,800
of Marshall's life.

278
00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:44,400
â?ª â?ª

279
00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,500
When I picked them up
at the airport...

280
00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:56,200
Ted broke up with me.

281
00:10:56,300 --> 00:10:58,400
I need to sleep
in your room this week.

282
00:10:58,500 --> 00:11:00,400
Marshall can bunk with Ted.

283
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:07,800
Two months!

284
00:11:07,900 --> 00:11:10,100
My balls were bleu! Bleu!

285
00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:11,600
This will come

286
00:11:11,700 --> 00:11:15,000
as no shock, but the rest
of the trip was terrible.

287
00:11:22,900 --> 00:11:24,900
And all I wanted was

288
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,100
a romantic kiss picture

289
00:11:26,200 --> 00:11:28,300
in front
of the Eiffel Tower, which

290
00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,200
I actually did get.

291
00:11:30,300 --> 00:11:33,600
It just happened to be between
Karen and Francois,

292
00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:36,400
our waiter from the day before.

293
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:37,600
Wow, that's just awful.

294
00:11:37,700 --> 00:11:39,300
Just... Ugh!
Just-Just...

295
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:40,500
Oopsies! Hey.

296
00:11:40,600 --> 00:11:42,700
I dropped my phone. You mind
picking it up for me?

297
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:44,500
Oh, sure. Smile,
you son of a bitch!

298
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,900
Got it!

299
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,300
Did you, though?

300
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,300
Wait. How do you do that?!

301
00:11:52,400 --> 00:11:54,000
You weren't even standing up!

302
00:11:54,100 --> 00:11:55,200
The camera loves me, Robin.

303
00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:56,400
More than loves me.

304
00:11:56,500 --> 00:11:57,600
The camera lusts after me.

305
00:11:57,700 --> 00:12:00,100
The camera wants
to put on some nice lingerie,

306
00:12:00,200 --> 00:12:01,500
pop in an Al Green CD,

307
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,400
dim the lights
and do all the work

308
00:12:03,500 --> 00:12:05,700
while I just lie there
with my eyes closed.

309
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:07,900
Look, I'm sorry
about Paris

310
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,700
and all the ruined
group shots,

311
00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,800
but when you're
single, you got to hope

312
00:12:11,900 --> 00:12:13,900
that each next new
girl is the one.

313
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,100
I mean, Erin.
Emily.

314
00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:16,300
Irene.
Or Isabel.

315
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:17,900
And Sarah.
It's Leilani.

316
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,400
What is wrong with you?

317
00:12:19,500 --> 00:12:20,700
At the time,
yes, I thought

318
00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:22,600
each of these girls
could be the one,

319
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,000
but I got to stay hopeful.

320
00:12:24,100 --> 00:12:25,200
I mean, what's
the alternative?

321
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,400
Here's the alternative.

322
00:12:26,500 --> 00:12:29,300
How about no more random skanks
at my birthday!

323
00:12:30,300 --> 00:12:31,700
Hey, sweetie!

324
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,000
Hi. Uh, do you guys
have a cooling rack?

325
00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:35,300
Oh, drawer under the oven.

326
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,500
Can't wait.
You're just the best!

327
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,100
Ted, I'm sorry.

328
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:41,700
I gonna have
to agree with Lily on this.

329
00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:43,200
I mean, these kind
of events

330
00:12:43,300 --> 00:12:44,600
are hard for a new person.

331
00:12:44,700 --> 00:12:46,400
That's why
I didn't bring Don tonight.

332
00:12:46,500 --> 00:12:48,300
I mean, when I lived
in Japan,

333
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,800
this guy, for our third date,

334
00:12:49,900 --> 00:12:52,000
brought me
to his brother's wedding.

335
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:55,100
Now, I- a total stranger-

336
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,400
am in that Japanese couple's
wedding picture

337
00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,800
for all eternity.

338
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,500
Uh...

339
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:06,200
Yeah, Ted, I think you
should listen to Robin.

340
00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:09,100
Right, right, 'cause...
'cause Robin's your best friend.

341
00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:10,300
Mm.
Exactly.

342
00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:11,200
Your best friend
in the whole world.

343
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:12,400
Absolutely.

344
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,600
Careful, Lily. It's a trap.

345
00:13:14,700 --> 00:13:16,500
And before she was your
best friend, what was she?

346
00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,000
Oh, that's right.

347
00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:20,300
One of my random skanks.

348
00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:21,400
Hey!

349
00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:22,600
Okay, yes, Ted.

350
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,200
This particular skank... Hey!

351
00:13:24,300 --> 00:13:25,500
...happened
to work out,

352
00:13:25,600 --> 00:13:27,100
but she's the
skanky exception,

353
00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:28,400
not the skanky rule.

354
00:13:28,500 --> 00:13:30,400
Okay, I'm crying
a little bit. Okay.

355
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:33,800
Hey, guys, that about wraps up
this whole skank conversation.

356
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:36,500
Let's get back
to the birthday song!

357
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:40,500
Okay, um, Barney,
your part goes like this.

358
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:47,100
â?ª She's cute â?ª

359
00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:50,700
â?ª She's cute. â?ª

360
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:52,300
Lily, I bring girls
to these events

361
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,900
because you guys
are important to me.

362
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,100
You're my family.

363
00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:56,900
And, oh, hey, Robin.
Hey, Robin, Robin,

364
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,500
your part goes
like this.

365
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:03,300
â?ª And nice and nice â?ª

366
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:07,600
â?ª And also nice! â?ª

367
00:14:07,700 --> 00:14:09,400
Yes. We're a family.

368
00:14:09,500 --> 00:14:12,600
So why can't these
events ever just be us?

369
00:14:12,700 --> 00:14:16,200
Like the time we celebrated
Marshall passing the bar exam.

370
00:14:16,300 --> 00:14:17,600
Hey.
Hey, guys.

371
00:14:17,700 --> 00:14:20,200
This is the disgusting,
smelly hippie I'm dating.

372
00:14:20,300 --> 00:14:21,500
Hey!

373
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,200
I did not say that!

374
00:14:23,300 --> 00:14:25,000
Well, you might
as well have.

375
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:27,400
Hey, guys.
This is Strawberry.

376
00:14:27,500 --> 00:14:28,800
Hey!

377
00:14:28,900 --> 00:14:30,400
Um, should we
order more food?

378
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:32,300
Oh, no. Uh,
Strawberry's not eating.

379
00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:34,700
I'm a vegetarian.

380
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,300
Okay.

381
00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,500
Well, let's all raise a glass.

382
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:40,700
Mm.

383
00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:42,500
For the last three years,

384
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:44,500
Marshall has been
working so hard,

385
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,300
and I am so proud of you.

386
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:48,300
Meat is murder!

387
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,100
Murder!

388
00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:53,500
Okay, I admit it.

389
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:54,700
Strawberry was a mistake.

390
00:14:54,800 --> 00:14:56,200
But how could I have known that
going in?

391
00:14:56,300 --> 00:14:59,900
Her name was Strawberry.

392
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,100
Look, if it's such a big deal,

393
00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:02,700
Amanda doesn't have to be
in the group photo.

394
00:15:02,800 --> 00:15:04,400
But I promise she's not gonna
ruin your birthday.

395
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:05,600
Just-Just give her a chance.

396
00:15:05,700 --> 00:15:06,900
See, look, guys.

397
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,100
We're all friends again!

398
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,200
Now let's work
on those harmonies.

399
00:15:10,300 --> 00:15:12,400
â?ª Happy happy Lily day! â?ª

400
00:15:12,500 --> 00:15:15,600
â?ª Happy happy
Lily day... â?ª

401
00:15:15,700 --> 00:15:17,900
All done.

402
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,700
I hope you like it.

403
00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:28,100
"Happy 42nd birthday, Lori."

404
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:30,700
Kids, you know how

405
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,000
I've told you about Lily's
"you're dead to me" look-

406
00:15:33,100 --> 00:15:34,700
that expression
she gets just before

407
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:36,600
she explodes
in white-hot rage?

408
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:39,100
Well, this wasn't it.

409
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,200
But this was Marshall's.

410
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,000
"42nd"?

411
00:15:48,100 --> 00:15:49,400
Does this

412
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:51,900
hot piece of ass look 42 to you?

413
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:56,500
Or! Or does she look
like her name is Lori?!

414
00:15:56,600 --> 00:15:59,100
No, Marshall, it's okay.
No, Lily, it's not okay.

415
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:02,000
Ted, get this stranger
out of my house!

416
00:16:02,100 --> 00:16:04,200
I am so sorry.
Out!

417
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,600
â?ª Happy, happy Lily day â?ª

418
00:16:21,700 --> 00:16:24,200
â?ª Happy, happy
Lily day. â?ª

419
00:16:29,700 --> 00:16:32,700
Well... Amanda refused
to come back.

420
00:16:32,800 --> 00:16:34,000
She thinks you guys hate her.

421
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:35,600
Marshall, you have
to go apologize.

422
00:16:35,700 --> 00:16:40,100
You ruin Lily's birthday
and you want me to apologize?

423
00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,700
If anything, you should
apologize to me.

424
00:16:42,800 --> 00:16:44,200
What are you talking about?

425
00:16:44,300 --> 00:16:46,800
Ted, you bring girls
to these intimate events

426
00:16:46,900 --> 00:16:48,900
and it makes them think that
things are really serious.

427
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,500
And then when you
break up with them,

428
00:16:50,600 --> 00:16:52,000
you know who they turn to?

429
00:16:52,100 --> 00:16:55,300
Me. I've been your girlfriend
cleanup crew for yea.

430
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,000
February, 2005.

431
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:59,600
I had just come back
from a marathon study session

432
00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:01,400
at the law library.
Hey.

433
00:17:01,500 --> 00:17:03,600
Hey, Natalie,
where's, uh, where's Ted?

434
00:17:03,700 --> 00:17:07,600
We broke up... again!

435
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000
Uh-oh.

436
00:17:10,100 --> 00:17:12,700
Won't you sit with me
for a little while?

437
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:14,700
Just sit?

438
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:17,600
Man, you know what? I've been up
for, like, 36 hours.

439
00:17:20,700 --> 00:17:22,600
Just for a few minutes.

440
00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:31,700
And at first,
I was completely sympathetic.

441
00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:32,900
But damn it, Ted,

442
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,100
over the years,
you made me cynical.

443
00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:37,300
You know what? I'm going to
go get us some Rocky Road,

444
00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:41,100
and we're just going to sit here
and talk it out until it makes sense.

445
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,900
I just thought we had
something so special, you know?

446
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,500
Me, too. Yeah.

447
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:51,100
But, you know, life
goes on, sweetheart.

448
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,400
I don't know how I'm going to put
my life back together after this.

449
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:56,700
Oh, shut up.

450
00:17:58,100 --> 00:18:00,100
Well, I'm sorry my search
for true love has been

451
00:18:00,200 --> 00:18:02,100
such an inconvenience
to you guys.

452
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,500
You know what?
Maybe your precious pictures

453
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,200
would look a lot better
if I wasn't in them.

454
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:08,800
They'd look a lot better if Marshall
weren't in them. Cheap shot, bro.

455
00:18:08,900 --> 00:18:10,100
Cheap shot.

456
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:12,000
You know what these
pictures are, Lily?

457
00:18:12,100 --> 00:18:13,500
They're a big, fat lie.

458
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,300
They're posed.
They're touched up.

459
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:17,400
They're what you want our life
to be, not what it is.

460
00:18:17,500 --> 00:18:19,700
That's not true!
Oh, yeah? Okay.

461
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:20,800
Look at this one.

462
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:22,500
Halloween,
two years ago.

463
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:24,000
You and Marshall
got in a huge fight

464
00:18:24,100 --> 00:18:25,500
because you didn't want
to dress up as penguins.

465
00:18:25,600 --> 00:18:27,200
No, no-no, it's not just
that she didn't want to.

466
00:18:27,300 --> 00:18:30,300
It's that she called
penguins "lame." Penguins.

467
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:31,700
And yet, here you are,

468
00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:34,700
smiling like nothing's
wrong- completely phony.

469
00:18:36,300 --> 00:18:38,100
Robin's birthday,
three years ago.

470
00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,900
Robin had a cold
and you made her

471
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,300
change out of her
pajama's for the picture.

472
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:42,300
And then you pinched my cheeks

473
00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,200
really hard to get
some color in them.

474
00:18:44,300 --> 00:18:46,500
Yeah, but you look pretty.

475
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,600
And then, we all ate
chocolate cake in my bed.

476
00:18:49,700 --> 00:18:52,000
Actually, that was
a really nice night.

477
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:53,400
Yeah, it was.

478
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,200
Yeah, I guess it was.

479
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:57,600
Hey, look at this one.

480
00:18:57,700 --> 00:18:59,600
This is the first picture

481
00:18:59,700 --> 00:19:01,200
the three of us
ever took together.

482
00:19:01,300 --> 00:19:02,600
That's right. It was.

483
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:05,300
Yeah, you remember
how it happened?

484
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:06,700
Okay, ready?

485
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:07,800
Wait, wait, wait.

486
00:19:07,900 --> 00:19:09,000
What pose should we do?

487
00:19:09,100 --> 00:19:11,000
Buddy cop picture?

488
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,100
Oh, no, no-no!
What about, um, '80s sitcom

489
00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:16,800
about two roommates who never
agree on anything? Mm-hmm.

490
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:19,900
Nice. Okay,
one, two...

491
00:19:21,100 --> 00:19:23,100
Hi, Marshall.

492
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,500
Ready for the movie?

493
00:19:24,600 --> 00:19:26,500
Um, yeah. Just a
second though, okay?

494
00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,900
We're about to
make history.

495
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,100
We're about to take our
first ever roommate picture.

496
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,600
Yeah. Hey, why don't you
get in the picture, too?

497
00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:33,700
Really?

498
00:19:33,800 --> 00:19:35,100
Yeah.

499
00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:36,900
What are you doing, Ted?
What if we break up?

500
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,900
What if you don't?

501
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:41,400
Come on.
Come on.

502
00:19:45,100 --> 00:19:47,100
I forgot all about that.

503
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,800
Marshall and I had just
been dating a few weeks

504
00:19:49,900 --> 00:19:53,100
and you invited me
into the picture.

505
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,800
I liked you.

506
00:19:55,900 --> 00:19:57,100
We have to get Amanda back.

507
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,500
Really?
Ted,

508
00:19:58,600 --> 00:19:59,600
you believed in me.

509
00:19:59,700 --> 00:20:01,400
It's my turn
to believe in you.

510
00:20:01,500 --> 00:20:03,900
For all I know,
she's the one.

511
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,100
Thanks, Lil.

512
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,400
I think Lori's age
has made her very wise.

513
00:20:08,500 --> 00:20:12,600
They say your forties are when you
really get to know yourself. Hmm.

514
00:20:13,700 --> 00:20:15,400
So, your Aunt Lily
called Amanda.

515
00:20:15,500 --> 00:20:17,400
All right, people,
gather around.

516
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:19,200
Let's make a memory.

517
00:20:19,300 --> 00:20:21,200
Okay, Marshall-
Marshall, try this.

518
00:20:21,300 --> 00:20:23,600
Keep your eyes closed
until the last second,

519
00:20:23,700 --> 00:20:25,700
and when I say so,
open them. Okay.

520
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,100
Hey, Barney, is that
a hole in your suit jacket?

521
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:30,000
What? Where?

522
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:32,000
Now, Marshall!

523
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:34,600
Damn it!

524
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:40,300
Ted, name that bitch.

525
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,100
Birth... a?
Bertha?

526
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:45,500
No, it was my birthday.

527
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:48,500
Your brain makes associations
in a very obvious way.

528
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:49,900
All right, people.

529
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,400
Gather around.
Let's make a memory.

530
00:20:53,300 --> 00:20:55,400
Hey, Robin, what's in
this dip you made?

531
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:58,400
'Cause it tastes
like... cilantro.

532
00:20:58,500 --> 00:21:02,200
And you know that
cilantro makes me...

533
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:05,400
Yes!

534
00:21:05,500 --> 00:21:10,500
www.addic7ed.com
