1 00:00:01,217 --> 00:00:03,551 Guess what I've got behind my back. 2 00:00:03,552 --> 00:00:06,121 Wait, wait, wait, I got this one. Left. 3 00:00:06,122 --> 00:00:08,323 Wrong game. But correct. 4 00:00:08,324 --> 00:00:12,793 Five front-row tickets to Robots vs. Wrestlers. 5 00:00:12,794 --> 00:00:14,194 Robots vs. Wrestlers? 6 00:00:14,195 --> 00:00:15,362 That is awesome! 7 00:00:15,363 --> 00:00:16,998 You've heard of Robots vs. Wrestlers? 8 00:00:16,999 --> 00:00:19,466 Never. But we assume it's some sort of sporting event 9 00:00:19,467 --> 00:00:21,636 That pits robots against wrestlers! 10 00:00:21,637 --> 00:00:22,970 That's exactly what it is, 11 00:00:22,971 --> 00:00:24,404 According to the Web site! 12 00:00:25,941 --> 00:00:27,842 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 13 00:00:27,843 --> 00:00:30,143 Who's the fifth ticket for? 14 00:00:30,144 --> 00:00:32,145 Uh... Robin. 15 00:00:32,146 --> 00:00:33,146 I know-- 16 00:00:33,147 --> 00:00:34,648 She moved in with her boyfriend 17 00:00:34,649 --> 00:00:36,950 And said she doesn't want to hang out with us anymore, 18 00:00:36,951 --> 00:00:39,185 But this is Robots vs. Wrestlers. 19 00:00:39,186 --> 00:00:41,420 Robots... 20 00:00:41,421 --> 00:00:42,789 Vs. Wrestlers! 21 00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:44,124 Barney is right. 22 00:00:44,125 --> 00:00:46,324 It's impossible to say no to that. 23 00:00:46,325 --> 00:00:47,325 No to that. 24 00:00:47,326 --> 00:00:48,694 I wish I could, but I 25 00:00:48,695 --> 00:00:50,195 Have plans with don on Saturday. 26 00:00:50,196 --> 00:00:51,429 He's making me Chinese. 27 00:00:51,430 --> 00:00:53,098 I'll assume you're talking about food, 28 00:00:53,099 --> 00:00:55,467 Otherwise, I have some follow-up questions. 29 00:00:55,468 --> 00:00:56,702 Oh, I'm sorry, Lily, 30 00:00:56,703 --> 00:00:59,004 But I got to give this thing with don a chance. 31 00:00:59,005 --> 00:01:01,505 And I can't do that if I'm out drinking with you guys 32 00:01:01,506 --> 00:01:03,307 Every single night-- especially when "you guys" 33 00:01:03,308 --> 00:01:05,209 Includes two of my ex-boyfriends. 34 00:01:05,210 --> 00:01:06,944 I understand. You're right. 35 00:01:06,945 --> 00:01:09,714 It's just we all really miss you. 36 00:01:09,715 --> 00:01:11,215 Aw, I miss you, too. 37 00:01:11,216 --> 00:01:13,317 Oh, listen, I got to go. Talk soon? 38 00:01:13,318 --> 00:01:14,618 Okay, bye. 39 00:01:14,619 --> 00:01:17,387 Sorry, New York, I had to take that. 40 00:01:17,388 --> 00:01:18,755 Now, where were we? 41 00:01:18,756 --> 00:01:21,658 Yeah. Yes. Bus crash. 42 00:01:21,659 --> 00:01:23,326 She said no? 43 00:01:23,327 --> 00:01:25,095 How could she say no? 44 00:01:25,096 --> 00:01:27,397 Robots vs. Wrestlers is our most important tradition 45 00:01:27,398 --> 00:01:28,799 As a group. 46 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,234 Tradition? We've never done this before? 47 00:01:31,235 --> 00:01:33,268 It's Robots vs. Wrestlers, Lily. 48 00:01:33,269 --> 00:01:35,738 How is that not gonna be a tradition? 49 00:01:35,739 --> 00:01:36,739 Well... 50 00:01:36,740 --> 00:01:38,273 This is how it starts. 51 00:01:38,274 --> 00:01:40,542 First Robin moves in with don, 52 00:01:40,543 --> 00:01:42,477 Then Marshall and Lily have a baby, 53 00:01:42,478 --> 00:01:43,545 Then Ted... 54 00:01:43,546 --> 00:01:44,546 Gets married? 55 00:01:44,547 --> 00:01:46,481 I was gonna say, "is found alone 56 00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:48,450 In his apartment devoured by his cats," 57 00:01:48,451 --> 00:01:50,018 But either way, not pretty. 58 00:01:50,019 --> 00:01:51,019 Everyone's 59 00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:52,954 Leaving me, and I don't like it! 60 00:01:52,955 --> 00:01:54,889 Oh, Barney, you don't have to worry 61 00:01:54,890 --> 00:01:56,524 About Marshall and me having kids. 62 00:01:56,525 --> 00:01:58,593 That's a long way down the road. 63 00:01:58,594 --> 00:02:00,228 Exactly-- it's, uh, down the road, 64 00:02:00,229 --> 00:02:01,429 A medium way. 65 00:02:01,430 --> 00:02:03,331 A medium-long way. 66 00:02:03,332 --> 00:02:04,932 I mean, you can see it ahead. 67 00:02:04,933 --> 00:02:07,201 In the vast, vast distance. 68 00:02:07,202 --> 00:02:08,869 But you're already seeing exit signs for it. 69 00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:10,237 Really? I didn't see any. 70 00:02:10,238 --> 00:02:13,173 You might want to get in the right lane. 71 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,908 I understand how you feel, Barney. 72 00:02:14,909 --> 00:02:16,777 Friendships are important. 73 00:02:16,778 --> 00:02:18,779 In fact, Emerson wrote 74 00:02:18,780 --> 00:02:21,180 A great poem entitled "friendship." 75 00:02:21,181 --> 00:02:23,015 You guys are gonna love this. 76 00:02:23,016 --> 00:02:26,853 "a ruddy drop of manly blood, the surging sea outweighs..." 77 00:02:28,688 --> 00:02:31,523 That's how it had always been for me with the gang 78 00:02:31,524 --> 00:02:33,860 Any time I tried to get a little high-minded. 79 00:02:33,861 --> 00:02:36,462 You guys, you've got to try this syrah. 80 00:02:36,463 --> 00:02:39,231 Hints of creme de cassis, red berries, 81 00:02:39,232 --> 00:02:40,732 Toasty oak... 82 00:02:43,903 --> 00:02:45,103 Hmm. 83 00:02:45,104 --> 00:02:48,673 Five letters, blank baritone. 84 00:02:48,674 --> 00:02:50,942 Of course! Lyric baritone! 85 00:02:50,943 --> 00:02:53,778 Which is actually higher than a dramatic baritone. 86 00:02:53,779 --> 00:02:55,212 You know, there's a telling moment 87 00:02:55,213 --> 00:02:56,914 In the second act of la bohème... 88 00:02:59,317 --> 00:03:01,285 Guys, come on, I'm just trying to add 89 00:03:01,286 --> 00:03:02,753 A little class to these proceedings. 90 00:03:02,754 --> 00:03:04,054 It's like that line 91 00:03:04,055 --> 00:03:05,222 From Dante's inferno. 92 00:03:08,026 --> 00:03:10,226 You were not born to live like brutes." 93 00:03:11,896 --> 00:03:14,230 "but to follow virtue and knowledge"" 94 00:03:14,231 --> 00:03:16,266 Or... 95 00:03:16,267 --> 00:03:17,901 In the original Italian... 96 00:03:25,308 --> 00:03:35,643 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 97 00:03:38,254 --> 00:03:39,254 You guys are right. 98 00:03:39,255 --> 00:03:40,722 I'm totally overreacting 99 00:03:40,723 --> 00:03:42,323 To this whole Robin thing. 100 00:03:42,324 --> 00:03:44,325 What's this envelope? Is this a wedding invitation? 101 00:03:44,326 --> 00:03:46,160 Robin's marrying don. I'm gonna die alone! 102 00:03:46,161 --> 00:03:48,129 Ted's gonna get eaten by cats! 103 00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:49,130 Dude, 104 00:03:49,131 --> 00:03:51,132 Relax-- it's for Marissa Heller. 105 00:03:51,133 --> 00:03:53,067 Marissa Heller? She sounds hot. 106 00:03:53,802 --> 00:03:55,002 Face, boobs, describe. 107 00:03:55,003 --> 00:03:56,103 Start with boobs. 108 00:03:56,104 --> 00:03:58,271 Who was Marissa Heller? 109 00:03:58,272 --> 00:04:00,207 That mystery began when Marshall and I 110 00:04:00,208 --> 00:04:01,541 First moved in together. 111 00:04:01,542 --> 00:04:04,377 Ted! We got our first mail delivery! 112 00:04:04,378 --> 00:04:06,079 We are popular. 113 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,347 We've got 114 00:04:07,348 --> 00:04:09,082 A golf magazine for... 115 00:04:09,083 --> 00:04:10,383 Marissa Heller, 116 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:12,652 We've got a wicker furniture catalog, 117 00:04:12,653 --> 00:04:14,053 Also for Marissa Heller, 118 00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:15,487 And... 119 00:04:15,488 --> 00:04:17,990 A coupon for a bird store... 120 00:04:17,991 --> 00:04:20,993 Addressed to Marissa Heller or-- stay with me-- 121 00:04:20,994 --> 00:04:22,794 "current occupant." 122 00:04:22,795 --> 00:04:23,996 That's us! 123 00:04:23,997 --> 00:04:26,031 We've got mail! Fantastic! 124 00:04:26,032 --> 00:04:27,466 Marissa Heller? 125 00:04:27,467 --> 00:04:29,367 She must be the woman who lived here before us. 126 00:04:29,368 --> 00:04:31,736 I wonder what she was like. 127 00:04:31,737 --> 00:04:33,171 And just like that, 128 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:36,540 A picture began to take shape... 129 00:04:36,541 --> 00:04:39,610 A picture of Marissa Heller, the golfer... 130 00:04:42,882 --> 00:04:46,750 ...Marissa Heller, the wicker catalog shopper... 131 00:04:46,751 --> 00:04:49,552 Marissa Heller, the bird owner. 132 00:04:51,089 --> 00:04:53,690 And since then, with each piece of mail we've gotten, 133 00:04:53,691 --> 00:04:55,392 The picture's become a little clearer. 134 00:04:55,393 --> 00:04:56,493 The only thing 135 00:04:56,494 --> 00:04:58,362 We don't know is what she looks like. 136 00:04:58,363 --> 00:04:59,963 Well, I guess I'll forward this along 137 00:04:59,964 --> 00:05:00,997 Like I've been forwarding... 138 00:05:00,998 --> 00:05:03,432 Oh, just open it. Okay. 139 00:05:04,667 --> 00:05:07,336 It's an invitation to Jefferson van Smoot's 140 00:05:07,337 --> 00:05:10,106 Annual spring social this Saturday night... 141 00:05:10,107 --> 00:05:11,941 In the penthouse apartment of the Alberta! 142 00:05:11,942 --> 00:05:14,310 You guys... That's the most beautiful building in Manhattan! 143 00:05:14,311 --> 00:05:16,345 We-we got to go to this party. 144 00:05:16,346 --> 00:05:18,613 That depends-- does it say anything on that invitation 145 00:05:18,614 --> 00:05:21,716 About robots battling wrestlers for intergalactic supremacy? 146 00:05:21,717 --> 00:05:23,251 No, but it says open bar. 147 00:05:23,252 --> 00:05:25,520 Revised agenda 148 00:05:25,521 --> 00:05:27,422 Free booze at Marissa Heller's party, 149 00:05:27,423 --> 00:05:28,957 Then Robots vs. Wrestlers. 150 00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:30,025 One of us just 151 00:05:30,026 --> 00:05:33,727 Needs to pretend to be Marissa Heller. 152 00:05:35,964 --> 00:05:37,031 guys, I'm flattered, 153 00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:38,999 But I think Lily should do it. 154 00:05:40,035 --> 00:05:41,936 So the big night arrived. 155 00:05:41,937 --> 00:05:43,870 Our first stop... 156 00:05:43,871 --> 00:05:45,806 The Alberta building. 157 00:05:45,807 --> 00:05:47,808 Wow! This building is amazing! 158 00:05:47,809 --> 00:05:49,708 Did you guys see the Porte Cochere 159 00:05:49,709 --> 00:05:51,044 And the Terra-cotta spandrels outside? 160 00:05:51,045 --> 00:05:52,211 Oh, my God, look! 161 00:05:52,212 --> 00:05:54,080 I just got a text from Robin. 162 00:05:54,081 --> 00:05:55,148 It says... 163 00:05:57,051 --> 00:05:58,784 Okay, guys, huddle up. 164 00:05:58,785 --> 00:06:01,287 Now, Lil, you can do this-- all you have to do 165 00:06:01,288 --> 00:06:03,756 Is look that guy in the eye, say your name 166 00:06:03,757 --> 00:06:05,490 Is Marissa Heller, and we are golden. 167 00:06:05,491 --> 00:06:07,492 And again, just so we're clear, no accent. 168 00:06:07,493 --> 00:06:10,162 Are we sure she's not British, isn't it? 169 00:06:10,163 --> 00:06:11,463 No! No! No! 170 00:06:11,464 --> 00:06:13,098 All right! Here I go. 171 00:06:13,099 --> 00:06:14,566 I'm doing it. 172 00:06:14,567 --> 00:06:15,733 Hi. Hello. 173 00:06:15,734 --> 00:06:16,801 Ooh. Sorry. 174 00:06:16,802 --> 00:06:17,936 Go ahead. 175 00:06:17,937 --> 00:06:20,072 I'm here for the van Smoot party. 176 00:06:20,073 --> 00:06:22,673 My name is Marissa Heller. 177 00:06:23,908 --> 00:06:25,977 Bollocks. 178 00:06:29,954 --> 00:06:31,955 So that's Marissa Heller. 179 00:06:31,956 --> 00:06:33,323 Huh. 180 00:06:33,324 --> 00:06:35,025 She fine. 181 00:06:36,027 --> 00:06:37,560 Her teeth look really nice. 182 00:06:37,561 --> 00:06:39,628 She must be remembering to go to the dentist 183 00:06:39,629 --> 00:06:41,263 Even without those reminder postcards. 184 00:06:41,264 --> 00:06:42,699 So, what are we doing? 185 00:06:42,700 --> 00:06:46,302 I'm getting us into the party, that's what! 186 00:06:46,303 --> 00:06:47,904 Marissa Heller! 187 00:06:47,905 --> 00:06:49,238 Barney Stinson! 188 00:06:49,239 --> 00:06:51,140 We met at that gathering for... 189 00:06:51,141 --> 00:06:52,708 Bird owners. 190 00:06:52,709 --> 00:06:54,275 I don't think so. 191 00:06:54,276 --> 00:06:55,276 Wicker lovers? 192 00:06:55,277 --> 00:06:57,112 No. Stinson out. 193 00:06:57,113 --> 00:06:59,380 Guys, it's not gonna happen. 194 00:06:59,381 --> 00:07:00,782 I got this. 195 00:07:03,519 --> 00:07:06,121 You know, this elevator still uses the same mechanism 196 00:07:06,122 --> 00:07:08,556 From when it was first installed in 1906. 197 00:07:08,557 --> 00:07:09,556 Rumor is, 198 00:07:09,557 --> 00:07:10,825 Louis Lamar Skolnick, 199 00:07:10,826 --> 00:07:12,593 The architect who designed this building, 200 00:07:12,594 --> 00:07:14,161 Carved these panels himself. 201 00:07:14,162 --> 00:07:15,730 Oh, a Skolnick fan? 202 00:07:15,731 --> 00:07:16,997 Well... I love 203 00:07:16,998 --> 00:07:18,199 His juxtaposition between 204 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,067 The north German renaissance exterior... 205 00:07:20,068 --> 00:07:22,970 And the decidedly French influence on the inside! I know! 206 00:07:22,971 --> 00:07:23,971 He was an architect 207 00:07:23,972 --> 00:07:26,272 With the soul of a poet, really. 208 00:07:26,273 --> 00:07:27,907 No, no, no, don't, don't. 209 00:07:27,908 --> 00:07:29,408 - It's working. - You know, 210 00:07:29,409 --> 00:07:30,476 I have a confession to make. 211 00:07:30,477 --> 00:07:32,045 We're not on the guest list, 212 00:07:32,046 --> 00:07:35,381 But... I've always wanted to see the inside of the Alberta. 213 00:07:36,350 --> 00:07:37,751 Well, then right this way. 214 00:07:37,752 --> 00:07:40,153 We're all together. 215 00:07:42,122 --> 00:07:44,289 Told you I'd get us in. 216 00:07:46,126 --> 00:07:48,026 So... 217 00:07:48,027 --> 00:07:50,995 Anyone been watching the young and the restless? 218 00:07:53,031 --> 00:07:54,165 awesome! 219 00:07:54,166 --> 00:07:56,635 Who ordered soap opera illustrated? 220 00:07:56,636 --> 00:08:00,705 Huh. Marissa Heller, I like your style. 221 00:08:02,575 --> 00:08:05,310 Anyone? 222 00:08:05,311 --> 00:08:08,211 Am I to understand that there isn't 223 00:08:08,212 --> 00:08:12,283 A single soap opera fan in this entire elevator, Hmm? 224 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:14,017 I don't own a TV. 225 00:08:14,018 --> 00:08:15,886 The only operas I watch 226 00:08:15,887 --> 00:08:18,689 Are at the met. 227 00:08:23,260 --> 00:08:25,795 Dibs. 228 00:08:27,798 --> 00:08:29,198 Ah. Excuse me. 229 00:08:29,199 --> 00:08:31,267 Jefferson, darling. 230 00:08:36,173 --> 00:08:38,873 Wow, I am not dressed for this. 231 00:08:38,874 --> 00:08:40,709 One word, made up: 232 00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:42,544 "douche-pocalypse"" 233 00:08:42,545 --> 00:08:44,979 Guys... That's Peter Bogdanovich 234 00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:47,349 Talking to Arianna Huffington and Will Shortz, 235 00:08:47,350 --> 00:08:49,484 Editor of the new York times crossword! 236 00:08:49,485 --> 00:08:51,486 Look, let's give this party a chance, okay? 237 00:08:51,487 --> 00:08:52,754 There's free food, free booze. 238 00:08:52,755 --> 00:08:55,823 20 minutes, then we can leave. 239 00:08:55,824 --> 00:08:57,692 But, you see, music was changing, 240 00:08:57,693 --> 00:09:00,127 And Giovanni Artusi simply didn't understand 241 00:09:00,128 --> 00:09:02,496 The new style of composing. 242 00:09:02,497 --> 00:09:04,965 Excuse me, are you talking about Monteverdi 243 00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:06,867 And his fourth book of madrigals? 244 00:09:06,868 --> 00:09:08,502 My dear chap, what else? 245 00:09:08,503 --> 00:09:11,738 That's my favorite book of madrigals! 246 00:09:12,506 --> 00:09:14,341 Smoked Foie gras 247 00:09:14,342 --> 00:09:17,344 With caramelized mango and crème fraîche? 248 00:09:17,345 --> 00:09:18,778 Hey, uh, hey, guy, 249 00:09:18,779 --> 00:09:21,080 Do you have anything in the mini cheeseburger department? 250 00:09:21,081 --> 00:09:23,850 I don't think so, sir. 251 00:09:23,851 --> 00:09:25,852 No? Mini pizzas? Little cups of fries? 252 00:09:25,853 --> 00:09:28,721 Any food at all that'll make me feel like a giant? 253 00:09:28,722 --> 00:09:30,789 I'll check, sir. 254 00:09:32,692 --> 00:09:36,061 He's not gonna check. 255 00:09:36,062 --> 00:09:37,529 I'm performing open-heart surgery 256 00:09:37,530 --> 00:09:39,665 On the dutch ambassador in the morning. 257 00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,633 I hope he pulls through. 258 00:09:41,634 --> 00:09:44,535 Really? A colleague of mine just prescribed cumadin 259 00:09:44,536 --> 00:09:46,036 To the dutch ambassador. 260 00:09:46,037 --> 00:09:47,071 And there's no way 261 00:09:47,072 --> 00:09:48,606 She'd be on anticoagulants 262 00:09:48,607 --> 00:09:51,075 If she were about to undergo surgery. 263 00:09:52,678 --> 00:09:54,111 Just... 264 00:09:54,112 --> 00:09:55,312 Okay? 265 00:09:56,348 --> 00:09:58,382 You know who published a great article 266 00:09:58,383 --> 00:10:00,550 On Walt Whitman and the politics of semantics? 267 00:10:00,551 --> 00:10:02,252 Professor Hammersmith of Oxford. 268 00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,388 I am Professor Hammersmith. 269 00:10:04,389 --> 00:10:06,757 Wha...?! 270 00:10:06,758 --> 00:10:09,058 ...Which is exactly what truffaut was talking about 271 00:10:09,059 --> 00:10:12,662 In his 1954 article in Cahiers Du Cinéma. 272 00:10:12,663 --> 00:10:15,964 Film is an auteur's medium, full stop. 273 00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:18,734 Movies... 274 00:10:18,735 --> 00:10:20,068 Right? 275 00:10:20,069 --> 00:10:21,537 Actors. 276 00:10:22,572 --> 00:10:25,073 Willem Dafoe. 277 00:10:25,074 --> 00:10:26,975 Funny thing about Willem Dafoe-- 278 00:10:26,976 --> 00:10:30,779 Uh, his name kind of sounds like a frog... 279 00:10:30,780 --> 00:10:33,180 Talking to a parrot. 280 00:10:33,181 --> 00:10:34,582 Willem. 281 00:10:34,583 --> 00:10:36,418 Defoe! 282 00:10:36,419 --> 00:10:37,585 Willem. 283 00:10:37,586 --> 00:10:39,788 Defoe! 284 00:10:40,656 --> 00:10:41,790 No? 285 00:10:43,091 --> 00:10:44,859 As undersecretary of the treasury, 286 00:10:44,860 --> 00:10:47,761 I had a big hand in crafting that legislation. 287 00:10:47,762 --> 00:10:49,596 Now... I wonder 288 00:10:49,597 --> 00:10:51,965 If you'd like to join me in the map room 289 00:10:51,966 --> 00:10:55,268 And give my package some stimulus. 290 00:10:55,269 --> 00:10:56,770 I'm afraid not, darling. 291 00:10:56,771 --> 00:10:59,139 You are too old for my taste. 292 00:11:00,842 --> 00:11:03,208 Okay, Zsa Zsa Gabor is still looking pretty hot, 293 00:11:03,209 --> 00:11:04,444 But otherwise, 294 00:11:04,445 --> 00:11:05,611 This party sucks. 295 00:11:05,612 --> 00:11:07,079 Yeah, well, we gave it a chance. 296 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,948 It's been 20 minutes. Let's get out of here. 297 00:11:08,949 --> 00:11:10,182 Where's Ted? Yeah. 298 00:11:10,183 --> 00:11:12,485 I know how to find him. 299 00:11:13,454 --> 00:11:15,321 Just give me one... Mm. 300 00:11:21,727 --> 00:11:22,928 Gongs, right? 301 00:11:22,929 --> 00:11:24,729 Uh, louder than you think. 302 00:11:24,730 --> 00:11:29,067 Young man, that gong is a 500-year-old relic 303 00:11:29,068 --> 00:11:32,871 That hasn't been struck since W.S. Gilbert hit it 304 00:11:32,872 --> 00:11:36,373 At the London premiere of the Mikado in 1885. 305 00:11:39,374 --> 00:11:40,817 Wife is a 500 year relic that 306 00:11:40,827 --> 00:11:42,527 hasn't been struck since W.S. Gilbert hit it 307 00:11:42,537 --> 00:11:44,537 at the London premiere of the Mikado in 1885. 308 00:11:46,518 --> 00:11:48,251 Guys, Will Schorz, editor of the Times' crossword. 309 00:11:48,252 --> 00:11:50,454 You know how I've been saying they always use ulee 310 00:11:50,455 --> 00:11:52,021 From Ulee's gold because of the vowels? 311 00:11:52,022 --> 00:11:53,356 Well, tell 'em, will. Tell 'em. 312 00:11:53,357 --> 00:11:54,524 It's because of the vowels. 313 00:11:54,525 --> 00:11:55,758 It's because of the vowels! 314 00:11:55,759 --> 00:11:58,227 Oh, wow. Ted, can I talk to you just for a second? 315 00:11:58,228 --> 00:12:01,230 Hey, will, ten-letter-word for diminutive egg-based torte? 316 00:12:01,231 --> 00:12:02,398 Mini-quiche? Where?! 317 00:12:02,399 --> 00:12:04,400 Right there. 318 00:12:04,401 --> 00:12:06,268 Such a great party. Such a 319 00:12:06,269 --> 00:12:08,370 Great party! Yeah, totally, Ted. It's time to go. 320 00:12:08,371 --> 00:12:10,205 It's Robots vs. Wrestlers o'clock. 321 00:12:10,206 --> 00:12:11,206 Oh. Ted. 322 00:12:11,207 --> 00:12:12,574 There you are. 323 00:12:12,575 --> 00:12:15,176 We'll be blind taste-testing French whites in a bit. 324 00:12:15,177 --> 00:12:16,879 Should be a hoot and a half. 325 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:19,615 Well, I decan't miss that. 326 00:12:22,351 --> 00:12:24,451 I know. You don't have to say it. 327 00:12:24,452 --> 00:12:26,220 You don't decant white wine. 328 00:12:26,221 --> 00:12:29,957 Miss Lily in the living room with the candlestick. 329 00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:32,192 Oh, my heavens, no! 330 00:12:32,193 --> 00:12:34,128 That was Edgar Allan Poe's! 331 00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,263 Sorry! 332 00:12:36,264 --> 00:12:38,298 Uh, guys, listen, I'm having fun here, 333 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:41,300 So I think I'm gonna skip Robots vs. Wrestlers. 334 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:45,906 But Ted, you've never missed Robots vs. Wrestlers! 335 00:12:47,041 --> 00:12:49,643 No! No! No! No! No! No! No! 336 00:12:49,644 --> 00:12:51,878 No! No! No! No! No! 337 00:12:51,879 --> 00:12:54,047 Ted, this isn't happening. 338 00:12:54,048 --> 00:12:56,314 First Robin ditches us, and now you? 339 00:12:56,315 --> 00:12:59,117 And for these stuffy, pretentious snoots?! 340 00:12:59,118 --> 00:13:01,286 Actually, I kind of like these stuffy, pretentious snoots. 341 00:13:01,287 --> 00:13:03,956 They don't make fart noises every time I open my mouth. 342 00:13:04,991 --> 00:13:06,391 Now, look, I'm going to stay. 343 00:13:06,392 --> 00:13:07,760 - I'll see you guys tomorrow. - Yeah. 344 00:13:07,761 --> 00:13:09,061 Come on, Barney. It's just one night. 345 00:13:09,062 --> 00:13:10,228 It doesn't mean anything. 346 00:13:10,229 --> 00:13:11,729 Oh, it means everything. 347 00:13:11,730 --> 00:13:15,033 Ted, if you don't come to Robots vs. Wrestlers, 348 00:13:15,034 --> 00:13:17,101 It's the end of our friendship. 349 00:13:17,102 --> 00:13:19,571 I'll see you guys tomorrow. 350 00:13:19,572 --> 00:13:24,075 Fine. Then you are out of our gang forever. 351 00:13:24,076 --> 00:13:26,410 You can reapply in two years. 352 00:13:26,411 --> 00:13:28,679 Marshall, Lily, 353 00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,313 Let's go watch 354 00:13:30,314 --> 00:13:32,549 Wrestlers fight robots. 355 00:13:34,619 --> 00:13:36,086 So embarrassing. 356 00:13:36,087 --> 00:13:37,554 I forgot something. 357 00:13:49,921 --> 00:13:53,457 So Ted, where did those chums of yours scoot off to? 358 00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:55,258 Oh, you know. 359 00:13:55,259 --> 00:13:56,593 Poetry reading. 360 00:14:00,164 --> 00:14:03,266 Best tradition ever! 361 00:14:03,267 --> 00:14:05,001 Don't humor me, Marshall. 362 00:14:05,002 --> 00:14:06,269 Let's face it. 363 00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:08,171 The gang is over. 364 00:14:08,172 --> 00:14:09,705 Ted's gone. Robin's gone. 365 00:14:09,706 --> 00:14:11,573 We might as well just go our separate ways. 366 00:14:11,574 --> 00:14:13,509 God, Barney, enough with t a abandonment issues. 367 00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:16,245 Ted's allowed to have a life outside of the group. 368 00:14:16,246 --> 00:14:17,579 We all are. 369 00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:19,314 Wait a minute. 370 00:14:19,315 --> 00:14:21,916 Why are you saying that all of a sudden? 371 00:14:21,917 --> 00:14:23,952 Oh, God, you're pregnant! 372 00:14:23,953 --> 00:14:25,020 No. 373 00:14:25,021 --> 00:14:28,389 Oh, God, you already had the baby! 374 00:14:28,390 --> 00:14:30,625 It's right behind me, isn't it? 375 00:14:30,626 --> 00:14:31,992 No, you idiot. 376 00:14:31,993 --> 00:14:34,228 It's just, eventually, we're all gonna move on. 377 00:14:34,229 --> 00:14:36,631 It's called growing up. 378 00:14:37,932 --> 00:14:39,900 Is that all you got, bitch? 379 00:14:39,901 --> 00:14:41,335 But can you at least promise me 380 00:14:41,336 --> 00:14:42,935 That you won't get pregnant for another year? 381 00:14:42,936 --> 00:14:44,304 I can't make that promise. 382 00:14:44,305 --> 00:14:46,906 You can't?! You can't?! 383 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,646 Hmm? 384 00:14:54,182 --> 00:14:58,284 Citrus and honeycomb flavors with crisp acidity. 385 00:14:58,285 --> 00:15:01,320 It's a sauv blanc, Loire valley. 386 00:15:01,321 --> 00:15:03,088 Town of Sancerre. 387 00:15:03,089 --> 00:15:04,956 Ah. Correct again! 388 00:15:04,957 --> 00:15:06,392 Bravo, boy! 389 00:15:08,161 --> 00:15:10,729 No! You can't have kids! 390 00:15:10,730 --> 00:15:12,398 You don't want to bring a child 391 00:15:12,399 --> 00:15:13,732 Into this crazy, messed-up world. 392 00:15:13,733 --> 00:15:14,899 I don't know. 393 00:15:14,900 --> 00:15:16,234 The world seems pretty awesome right now, Barney. 394 00:15:18,904 --> 00:15:21,005 Okay, Lily, you leave me no choice. 395 00:15:21,006 --> 00:15:23,808 If you have a daughter, the day, 396 00:15:23,809 --> 00:15:27,078 Nay, the minute she turns 18... 397 00:15:27,079 --> 00:15:29,146 Gong! Oh, my God! 398 00:15:29,147 --> 00:15:30,780 Hey, but Lily. 399 00:15:30,781 --> 00:15:34,284 Lily... Babies. 400 00:15:34,285 --> 00:15:35,686 Oh! 401 00:15:35,687 --> 00:15:39,089 I hope Ted is miserable right now. 402 00:15:39,090 --> 00:15:42,792 ? constance fry, constance fry ? 403 00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:46,196 ? anytime you'd call ? 404 00:15:46,197 --> 00:15:50,299 ? constance would fulfill your needs ? 405 00:15:50,300 --> 00:15:53,369 ? winter, spring ? 406 00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:57,106 ? or fall. ? 407 00:15:59,976 --> 00:16:03,811 Ted, your lyric baritone is outstanding. 408 00:16:03,812 --> 00:16:07,148 Thank you, Will Shortz. 409 00:16:08,784 --> 00:16:11,119 Fine, you guys can have a baby, 410 00:16:13,589 --> 00:16:16,791 1) you promise to always love me more than the baby; 411 00:16:16,792 --> 00:16:20,794 2) once a month, I get to use the baby to pick up chicks; 412 00:16:20,795 --> 00:16:23,664 3) that may involve the baby falling 413 00:16:23,665 --> 00:16:26,032 From a two-story window and me heroically catching it; 414 00:16:26,033 --> 00:16:29,236 4) no breastfeeding in front of me; 415 00:16:29,237 --> 00:16:30,904 5) forget about four. 416 00:16:30,905 --> 00:16:32,573 You can whip them out whenever you want. 417 00:16:32,574 --> 00:16:35,308 And then, something amazing happened. 418 00:16:37,745 --> 00:16:39,512 Holy crap! 419 00:16:39,513 --> 00:16:40,513 I don't believe it. 420 00:16:42,316 --> 00:16:45,518 Well, of course, hell is an interesting concept, isn't it? 421 00:16:45,519 --> 00:16:48,021 I've always loved to imagine it 422 00:16:48,022 --> 00:16:50,757 As Dante did in the divine comedy. 423 00:16:50,758 --> 00:16:52,224 If you'll allow me. 424 00:16:52,225 --> 00:16:54,493 In the original Italian. 425 00:17:03,837 --> 00:17:06,405 I cannot believe this. 426 00:17:06,406 --> 00:17:08,372 I'm reciting the divine comedy 427 00:17:08,373 --> 00:17:10,175 In its original Italian, 428 00:17:10,176 --> 00:17:12,277 And nobody's making fart noises! 429 00:17:15,848 --> 00:17:17,015 Wow, this is weird. 430 00:17:17,016 --> 00:17:18,216 Never gotten this far. 431 00:17:20,953 --> 00:17:22,687 You know, I actually sound kind of douchey. 432 00:17:25,389 --> 00:17:27,757 My God, I'm out of control! 433 00:17:27,758 --> 00:17:30,027 Listen to me. I'm completely unleashed. 434 00:17:30,028 --> 00:17:32,562 I'm the biggest douche on the planet. 435 00:17:40,237 --> 00:17:42,338 Ugh! I wish somebody would stop me. 436 00:17:42,339 --> 00:17:44,540 And then, somebody did. 437 00:17:47,811 --> 00:17:50,779 Kids, I think I told you how earlier that year, 438 00:17:50,780 --> 00:17:53,782 We had seen some doppelgangers of ourselves around town. 439 00:17:53,783 --> 00:17:56,617 There was lesbian Robin. 440 00:17:58,221 --> 00:18:01,156 There was moustache Marshall. 441 00:18:01,157 --> 00:18:03,458 And, of course, stripper Lily. 442 00:18:03,459 --> 00:18:06,594 Well, that night, 443 00:18:06,595 --> 00:18:08,796 One more doppelganger surfaced-- 444 00:18:08,797 --> 00:18:11,665 Mexican wrestler Ted. 445 00:18:11,666 --> 00:18:16,270 Soy el conquistador de las máquinas! 446 00:18:16,271 --> 00:18:18,438 Oh! 447 00:18:18,439 --> 00:18:20,474 Oh! 448 00:18:27,514 --> 00:18:29,349 I got to go. 449 00:18:33,420 --> 00:18:35,588 Rule number 83. 450 00:18:35,589 --> 00:18:37,590 If anything that comes out of that baby 451 00:18:37,591 --> 00:18:40,693 Gets on one of my suits, I get to touch Lily's boobs. 452 00:18:40,694 --> 00:18:43,429 Dude, what is it with you and my wife's boobs tonight? 453 00:18:43,430 --> 00:18:46,131 Hey, hey, I don't make the rules. 454 00:18:47,634 --> 00:18:50,436 Baby, are you really starting to think about this? 455 00:18:50,437 --> 00:18:51,970 I don't know. 456 00:18:51,971 --> 00:18:53,606 Maybe a little. 457 00:18:53,607 --> 00:18:55,140 Okay. 458 00:18:55,141 --> 00:18:57,610 Well, for whatever it's worth, I think that we're ready. 459 00:18:57,611 --> 00:18:58,677 I mean, look, 460 00:18:58,678 --> 00:19:00,177 We love each other, 461 00:19:00,178 --> 00:19:02,046 We're financially stable, and honestly, I don't think 462 00:19:02,047 --> 00:19:03,915 It would change our lifestyle all that much. 463 00:19:03,916 --> 00:19:05,216 Aunt Lily still likes 464 00:19:05,217 --> 00:19:07,051 To remind Uncle Marshall he once said this. 465 00:19:07,052 --> 00:19:09,454 Marshall, if we were at home with a baby tonight, 466 00:19:09,455 --> 00:19:11,155 We never would have seen Ted's doppelganger. 467 00:19:11,156 --> 00:19:12,223 Imagine missing that. 468 00:19:12,224 --> 00:19:13,691 How would that feel? 469 00:19:13,692 --> 00:19:16,126 I would blame that child for the rest of his life. 470 00:19:16,127 --> 00:19:18,495 Exactly. For the rest of her life. 471 00:19:19,464 --> 00:19:21,765 Okay, you're right. 472 00:19:21,766 --> 00:19:22,999 There's, there's no hurry. 473 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,868 Okay, how about this? 474 00:19:24,869 --> 00:19:27,270 We agree there's no sense in having a baby 475 00:19:27,271 --> 00:19:29,473 Until we've seen all five doppelgangers, right? 476 00:19:29,474 --> 00:19:31,474 Of course. Stands to reason. 477 00:19:31,475 --> 00:19:33,776 Okay, so when we finally see Barney's doppelganger, 478 00:19:33,777 --> 00:19:36,178 That's the universe telling us it's go time. 479 00:19:36,179 --> 00:19:39,148 And that's when we'll start trying. Deal? 480 00:19:39,149 --> 00:19:41,116 Deal. 481 00:19:42,218 --> 00:19:43,853 Hey, guys. Hey. 482 00:19:43,854 --> 00:19:45,387 Well, well, look who thinks 483 00:19:45,388 --> 00:19:47,056 He can just waltz in here 484 00:19:47,057 --> 00:19:48,924 And be part of the gang again. 485 00:19:48,925 --> 00:19:50,391 Well, you can forget it. 486 00:19:50,392 --> 00:19:51,993 Listen, Barney, I... 487 00:19:51,994 --> 00:19:53,495 Please be part of the gang again! 488 00:19:53,496 --> 00:19:55,063 I don't want to lose anyone else! 489 00:19:55,064 --> 00:19:56,565 We're all really sorry. 490 00:19:56,566 --> 00:19:58,967 We'll even let you recite all the douchey poems you want, 491 00:19:58,968 --> 00:20:01,703 And we'll never, never say a bad thing about it, I promise. 492 00:20:01,704 --> 00:20:03,371 Really? Because 493 00:20:03,372 --> 00:20:05,372 There actually is a poem I'd like to recite-- 494 00:20:05,373 --> 00:20:08,241 "friendship" by Ralph Waldo Emerson. 495 00:20:08,242 --> 00:20:11,912 "a ruddy drop of manly blood, the surging sea outweighs. 496 00:20:11,913 --> 00:20:13,581 The world uncertain comes and goes.."" 497 00:20:15,684 --> 00:20:18,686 I'm sorry. Someone had to do that. 498 00:20:18,687 --> 00:20:20,720 Who wants another drink? I'm buying. 499 00:20:20,721 --> 00:20:23,490 Kids, I'd love to tell you that over e e years, 500 00:20:23,491 --> 00:20:25,257 We didn't all drift apart a little 501 00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:26,626 At one time or another. 502 00:20:26,627 --> 00:20:29,362 You don't mean for it to happen, but it does. 503 00:20:29,363 --> 00:20:31,764 But no matter what, to this day, 504 00:20:31,765 --> 00:20:33,733 Come hell or high water, 505 00:20:33,734 --> 00:20:36,201 We still all get together every year 506 00:20:36,202 --> 00:20:38,269 For Robots vs. Wrestlers. 507 00:20:43,002 --> 00:20:45,671 Good night! Thanks a lot. I had a great time. 508 00:20:51,809 --> 00:20:52,976 Willem. 509 00:20:52,977 --> 00:20:54,143 Dafoe! 510 00:20:54,994 --> 00:20:56,662 Willem. 511 00:20:56,663 --> 00:20:57,963 Dafoe! 512 00:20:57,964 --> 00:20:59,232 Willem. 513 00:20:59,233 --> 00:21:01,234 Dafoe! 514 00:21:01,235 --> 00:21:05,337 Sync by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com