1 00:00:00,867 --> 00:00:02,134 NARRATOR: Kids, in the fall of 2010, 2 00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:03,402 I was hosting my very first Thanksgiving. 3 00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:05,538 And I wanted it to be unforgettable. 4 00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:09,942 Instead of stuffing, I'm going to fill the turkey with... 5 00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,661 a slightly smaller turkey. 6 00:00:11,662 --> 00:00:14,080 It's called a Turturkeykey! 7 00:00:14,081 --> 00:00:16,248 A Turturkeykey? Mm-hmm. 8 00:00:16,249 --> 00:00:19,085 Uh-uh, oh-oh. ROBIN: Yeah, I was there for 9 00:00:19,086 --> 00:00:22,254 the "insertion." He used shoehorns. 10 00:00:22,255 --> 00:00:23,422 I'll be having sides. 11 00:00:24,424 --> 00:00:26,058 Your loss. All right, it's dead in here. 12 00:00:26,059 --> 00:00:27,693 I'm gonna call it a little early. 13 00:00:27,694 --> 00:00:29,378 What? No! You can't go now. 14 00:00:29,379 --> 00:00:31,097 It's the night before Thanksgiving. 15 00:00:31,098 --> 00:00:32,465 College chicks are back in town. 16 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:33,933 Their moms just made a snide comment 17 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:35,468 about the weight they gained. 18 00:00:35,469 --> 00:00:36,602 They called her a bitch, 19 00:00:36,603 --> 00:00:37,937 but deep down, they know she's right. 20 00:00:37,938 --> 00:00:39,488 And they're about to walk through that door, 21 00:00:39,489 --> 00:00:40,890 where we will be waiting 22 00:00:40,891 --> 00:00:44,443 with some light beer and some rock hard approval. 23 00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:46,812 Wh-what u-up? 24 00:00:46,813 --> 00:00:48,447 Yeah. You don't want to bail early, man. 25 00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:49,649 You could become The Blitz. 26 00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,017 (all groan) 27 00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:52,985 NARRATOR: Blitz was a guy we knew in college. 28 00:00:52,986 --> 00:00:54,387 Sadly, he was cursed. 29 00:00:54,821 --> 00:00:55,855 Well... 30 00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,256 I'm calling it a little early. 31 00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:59,558 Wh... you sure? We got big plans. 32 00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:01,827 Yeah. Remember how last week we fired up a sandwich, 33 00:01:01,828 --> 00:01:03,529 and we listened to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon 34 00:01:03,530 --> 00:01:04,964 while watching The Wizard of Oz? 35 00:01:04,965 --> 00:01:05,965 Well, tonight, 36 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:08,100 we're doing the same thing, 37 00:01:08,101 --> 00:01:10,136 only with "Weird Al" Yankovic's Greatest Hits 38 00:01:10,137 --> 00:01:11,937 and Apocalypse Now. 39 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:13,706 We'll see what happens. 40 00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:17,093 Nah, it's Kraft/Croft night: mac and cheese and Tomb Raider. 41 00:01:17,094 --> 00:01:18,761 Biz-zow! 42 00:01:18,762 --> 00:01:21,213 NARRATOR: You see, every time Blitz left a place, 43 00:01:21,214 --> 00:01:22,481 something amazing happened. 44 00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:27,453 Oh! I'm sorry. 45 00:01:27,454 --> 00:01:29,088 I thought this was my room. 46 00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,289 (giggles) 47 00:01:31,575 --> 00:01:34,894 Completely naked! Completely naked! 48 00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,362 Aw, man! 49 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,997 And the movie was awesome. 50 00:01:37,998 --> 00:01:39,532 Aw, man! 51 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:41,300 At the exact moment Brando first appeared, 52 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,869 "Weird Al" launched right into "Eat It." 53 00:01:43,870 --> 00:01:46,038 Aw, man! 54 00:01:46,039 --> 00:01:47,573 NARRATOR: And over the years, 55 00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:49,809 "The Curse of The Blitz" continued. 56 00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,677 Well, I'm gonna call it. 57 00:01:51,678 --> 00:01:54,480 I just got Madden 2K1, and I can't stop thinking about it. 58 00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:55,514 See you later! Bye-bye! 59 00:01:55,515 --> 00:01:56,549 All right, bye-bye! Okay, later! 60 00:01:56,550 --> 00:01:57,750 Good-bye! Bye-Bye! 61 00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,253 (pop) 62 00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:03,723 Tap's broke! Can't turn 'em off! 63 00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,224 Free beer for everyone! 64 00:02:05,225 --> 00:02:06,425 (cheering) 65 00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:09,261 Free beer for everyone! 66 00:02:09,262 --> 00:02:10,763 Free beer for everyone! 67 00:02:10,764 --> 00:02:13,299 Aw, man! 68 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,401 You know what? 69 00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,470 Ted, go ahead-- leave early to do something lame. 70 00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:20,473 Just don't blame us if you become... The Blitz. 71 00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:21,974 (random groans) All right, first of all... 72 00:02:21,975 --> 00:02:24,810 there's nothing lame about brining a Turturkeykey, 73 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:27,079 copyright pending. And secondly, 74 00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:29,782 I don't believe "The Curse of The Blitz" is real. (gasps) 75 00:02:29,783 --> 00:02:32,318 NARRATOR: Kids, I'd live to regret those words. 76 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,253 You see, the "Curse of Blitz" could be passed 77 00:02:34,254 --> 00:02:36,655 from one person to the next, at any moment. 78 00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,457 Blitz had gotten the curse from Jerry Windheim, 79 00:02:38,458 --> 00:02:40,893 back in freshman year, who got it years before that 80 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,428 from Davey Beaterman. 81 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:43,796 The original Blitz, Matt Blitz, 82 00:02:43,797 --> 00:02:46,165 was a guy who went to Wesleyan back in the '60s. 83 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:48,934 He dropped out right before the school went co-ed. 84 00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:51,203 And then, Thanksgiving morning... 85 00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:58,177 What the hell happened here? 86 00:02:58,178 --> 00:03:00,246 Hey! Morning, Blitz! 87 00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:02,248 Aw, man! 88 00:03:02,249 --> 00:03:03,999 No, no! Let's get one thing straight, okay? 89 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,317 I am not The Blitz. 90 00:03:05,318 --> 00:03:09,522 ? My Blitzy lies over the ocean ? 91 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:13,025 ? My Blitzy lies over the sea ? 92 00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:17,296 ? My Blitzy lies over the ocean ? 93 00:03:17,297 --> 00:03:20,332 ? So bring back my Blitzy... ? Please stop. 94 00:03:22,068 --> 00:03:23,402 Okay, fine. 95 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:24,770 ?...To me. ? 96 00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:27,239 The Gentleman! 97 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,875 THE GROUP: The Gentleman! Wait! Wait! Wait! 98 00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:31,043 What's that? What's "The Gentleman"? 99 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,112 Oh, you had to be there, Blitz. Yes. 100 00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:34,313 I'm not The Blitz! 101 00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:39,585 (person yawning) 102 00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:46,358 Zoey? 103 00:03:46,359 --> 00:03:49,479 Morning, Blitz! 104 00:03:51,440 --> 00:03:55,699 Transcript by Addic7ed.com 105 00:03:55,734 --> 00:03:59,871 www.addic7ed.com 106 00:04:04,227 --> 00:04:05,561 NARRATOR: Kids, you remember Zoey. 107 00:04:05,562 --> 00:04:06,929 For the last two months, 108 00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:08,630 she'd been making my life hell. 109 00:04:09,833 --> 00:04:10,966 Thanks, guys! 110 00:04:10,967 --> 00:04:12,468 Last night was amazing! 111 00:04:12,469 --> 00:04:13,769 The Gentleman! 112 00:04:13,770 --> 00:04:15,771 ALL: The Gentle... 113 00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:17,573 (all groan) 114 00:04:17,574 --> 00:04:20,943 How could you, my best friends in the world, 115 00:04:20,944 --> 00:04:23,045 hang out with my mortal enemy, 116 00:04:23,046 --> 00:04:27,082 then let her sleep in the tub where I clean myself?! 117 00:04:27,083 --> 00:04:29,067 Sorry, Ted. We can explain. 118 00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:31,253 After you Blitzed out last night... 119 00:04:31,254 --> 00:04:32,554 I'm not The Blitz! 120 00:04:32,555 --> 00:04:33,789 LILY: Oh, my God... 121 00:04:33,790 --> 00:04:35,257 That's Zoey! 122 00:04:35,258 --> 00:04:36,859 That's Ted's enemy. 123 00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,361 Which means she's our enemy. 124 00:04:39,362 --> 00:04:42,197 Let's take this bitch down. 125 00:04:42,198 --> 00:04:43,799 Huh? Huh? 126 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,800 Who's got your back? 127 00:04:44,801 --> 00:04:45,834 Now let's have dinner! 128 00:04:45,835 --> 00:04:48,503 Finish the story, Red. 129 00:04:48,504 --> 00:04:51,640 Okay, well, we all started brainstorming 130 00:04:51,641 --> 00:04:52,975 ways to mess with her. 131 00:04:52,976 --> 00:04:55,544 There were a lot of different ideas kicking around. 132 00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,313 And then I'm just going to leave her there... buck-naked, 133 00:04:58,314 --> 00:05:01,450 covered in candle wax, tied to the bed. 134 00:05:02,819 --> 00:05:06,221 Barney, I know that Ted doesn't like that girl, 135 00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,590 but that's a little extreme. 136 00:05:08,591 --> 00:05:10,425 Wait-- Ted doesn't like that girl? 137 00:05:11,361 --> 00:05:12,427 Okay. Wh...? 138 00:05:12,428 --> 00:05:13,629 Well, I got it. 139 00:05:13,630 --> 00:05:14,930 You see that silk scarf? 140 00:05:14,931 --> 00:05:16,999 I'm going to steal it. 141 00:05:22,505 --> 00:05:23,839 Can I... help you? 142 00:05:23,840 --> 00:05:27,176 Yeah. Yeah! 143 00:05:27,177 --> 00:05:29,378 My name is Lily Aldrin. 144 00:05:29,379 --> 00:05:31,847 I'm a friend of Ted Mosby's, so you better... 145 00:05:31,848 --> 00:05:34,183 You're Lily Aldrin? The painter?! 146 00:05:34,184 --> 00:05:35,851 Well, yeah. 147 00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:37,619 You're amazing! 148 00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:39,821 I bought a bunch of your paintings online. 149 00:05:39,822 --> 00:05:41,790 (gasps) That was you?! Yeah. 150 00:05:41,791 --> 00:05:43,909 Oh! Thanks! 151 00:05:44,928 --> 00:05:47,429 Look, none of us meant for it to happen, but, well, 152 00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:49,765 we had an awesome night with her. 153 00:05:51,634 --> 00:05:53,401 ALL: The Gentleman! 154 00:05:53,402 --> 00:05:55,287 (whooping, applause) 155 00:05:55,288 --> 00:05:58,707 And then, the craziest thing happened. 156 00:05:58,708 --> 00:05:59,908 (cheering) 157 00:06:03,213 --> 00:06:04,746 I missed a skateboarding dog? 158 00:06:04,747 --> 00:06:06,648 Yeah, but that wasn't the crazy part. 159 00:06:06,649 --> 00:06:08,217 It wasn't? 160 00:06:08,218 --> 00:06:09,351 Okay, Marshall. 161 00:06:09,352 --> 00:06:11,303 Truth or dare? 162 00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:12,521 Okay, awesome. 163 00:06:12,522 --> 00:06:14,189 Well, Lily doesn't let me do truths. 164 00:06:14,924 --> 00:06:15,991 So, dare. 165 00:06:15,992 --> 00:06:17,359 Okay. 166 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:21,096 I dare you to send a picture of your junk 167 00:06:21,097 --> 00:06:22,831 to a complete stranger. 168 00:06:22,832 --> 00:06:25,784 (all laughing, gasping) 169 00:06:25,785 --> 00:06:27,736 Best idea ever! 170 00:06:27,737 --> 00:06:29,905 Worst idea ever! 171 00:06:29,906 --> 00:06:31,990 My junk ended up in some stranger's pocket. 172 00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:35,477 If there phone was on vibrate, I basically dry-humped them. 173 00:06:35,478 --> 00:06:38,113 Ho, ho, ho, ho! Whoa! Yay! 174 00:06:38,114 --> 00:06:39,781 Yeah. Okay. 175 00:06:39,782 --> 00:06:41,049 Everybody shout out random numbers. 176 00:06:41,050 --> 00:06:42,551 Um. 4, 8... 177 00:06:42,552 --> 00:06:44,820 15, 16, 23, 42! 178 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,788 And... send! 179 00:06:46,789 --> 00:06:48,257 (cheering) 180 00:06:48,258 --> 00:06:49,791 Wait. Blitz was there, too? 181 00:06:49,792 --> 00:06:53,061 The Gentleman! The Gentleman! 182 00:06:53,062 --> 00:06:54,796 Oh, I was there for the whole thing. 183 00:06:54,797 --> 00:06:55,864 Something inside me just said 184 00:06:55,865 --> 00:06:58,767 "Grand Theft Auto" can wait a night. 185 00:06:58,768 --> 00:07:00,602 It was legen-- 186 00:07:00,603 --> 00:07:02,487 wait for Ted to leave, 'cause he's now The Blitz-- 187 00:07:02,488 --> 00:07:04,823 -- dary. Legendary! 188 00:07:04,824 --> 00:07:06,108 I'm not The Blitz! 189 00:07:06,109 --> 00:07:07,409 I'm afraid you are, Ted. 190 00:07:07,410 --> 00:07:09,378 You see, when you left last night, 191 00:07:09,379 --> 00:07:11,613 you changed the course of Blitztory. 192 00:07:13,816 --> 00:07:15,000 (cheering) 193 00:07:17,086 --> 00:07:20,372 MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Blitz... 194 00:07:21,190 --> 00:07:25,344 (mysterious theme plays) 195 00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:33,001 (gasps, chokes) 196 00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,272 I'm finally free! I mean, you have no idea 197 00:07:37,273 --> 00:07:39,508 what I've missed all these years: 198 00:07:39,509 --> 00:07:40,676 The university president's toupee 199 00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:43,845 being snatched by a hawk at graduation, 200 00:07:43,846 --> 00:07:45,981 Zeppelin reuniting at my cousin Ira's bar mitzvah, 201 00:07:45,982 --> 00:07:49,618 countless nip-slips, crotch shots, 202 00:07:49,619 --> 00:07:51,353 shooting stars and double rainbows. 203 00:07:51,354 --> 00:07:52,721 I've missed them all! 204 00:07:53,489 --> 00:07:55,357 Well, not anymore, Blitz. 205 00:07:55,358 --> 00:07:57,192 My name's not Blitz. 206 00:07:57,193 --> 00:08:00,395 My name is Steve! 207 00:08:01,597 --> 00:08:04,366 Colors seem so bright now. 208 00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:10,205 Thank you, Blitz. What? No! 209 00:08:10,206 --> 00:08:12,341 N- n-n-n-no! N-n-no! I'm not The Blitz! 210 00:08:12,342 --> 00:08:14,593 The only thing I missed last night was my best friends 211 00:08:14,594 --> 00:08:17,212 stabbing me in the back by hanging out with my worst enemy. 212 00:08:17,213 --> 00:08:18,680 Guys! 213 00:08:18,681 --> 00:08:20,115 I hate Zoey! 214 00:08:20,116 --> 00:08:21,883 That means you're supposed to hate her, too! 215 00:08:21,884 --> 00:08:23,385 Th-that's your rule, Lily! 216 00:08:23,386 --> 00:08:24,720 I tried. 217 00:08:24,721 --> 00:08:25,921 Tried?! 218 00:08:25,922 --> 00:08:27,789 Lily, do you have any idea 219 00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:30,025 how many people I've blindly hated for you? 220 00:08:30,026 --> 00:08:33,795 I hated Rene Zellweger with a burning passion 221 00:08:33,796 --> 00:08:35,130 for eight years, 222 00:08:35,131 --> 00:08:37,132 only to discover you meant Reese Witherspoon! 223 00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:40,235 Hey, I will hate her until I get my money back 224 00:08:40,236 --> 00:08:41,603 for You, Me and Dupree! 225 00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,138 That's Kate Hudson! 226 00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:45,173 Oh, yeah. That's who I hate. 227 00:08:45,174 --> 00:08:46,575 Guys, we hate Kate Hudson. 228 00:08:46,576 --> 00:08:49,077 No, we hate Zoey! (grunts) 229 00:08:49,078 --> 00:08:51,913 I'm so furious at you all right now, 230 00:08:51,914 --> 00:08:54,950 but it's Thanksgiving, and I have a Turturkeykey to make. 231 00:08:56,519 --> 00:08:58,186 And not that I'm The Blitz, 232 00:08:58,187 --> 00:09:01,089 but could everyone please come with me into the kitchen? 233 00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:03,258 (all murmuring) 234 00:09:03,259 --> 00:09:05,227 Okay, I'm, uh, 235 00:09:05,228 --> 00:09:07,062 just gonna preheat the oven. 236 00:09:07,063 --> 00:09:08,897 The oven. 237 00:09:08,898 --> 00:09:10,232 Hey, Robin, 238 00:09:10,233 --> 00:09:12,667 you should dance on the oven. 239 00:09:12,668 --> 00:09:13,985 (all agreeing, whooping) 240 00:09:13,986 --> 00:09:15,904 ALL (chanting): Make out with Zoey! 241 00:09:15,905 --> 00:09:19,074 Make out with Zoey! Make out... 242 00:09:25,915 --> 00:09:28,016 Did they tell you about the skateboarding dog? 243 00:09:29,152 --> 00:09:31,586 It was awesome! 244 00:09:35,271 --> 00:09:38,007 Great. So not only did you guys betray me, 245 00:09:38,008 --> 00:09:40,376 but you broke my oven on Thanksgiving? 246 00:09:40,377 --> 00:09:41,477 Full disclosure. 247 00:09:41,478 --> 00:09:43,412 We also used all your butter, greasing up Lily 248 00:09:43,413 --> 00:09:46,348 so we could see how far we could slide her down the hall. 249 00:09:47,117 --> 00:09:49,652 But if it helps, I reached 4G. 250 00:09:49,653 --> 00:09:52,488 It doesn't help. 4G? 251 00:09:52,489 --> 00:09:53,489 Mm-hmm. 252 00:09:53,490 --> 00:09:54,623 No. 253 00:09:54,624 --> 00:09:56,492 What-What are we supposed to do now? 254 00:09:57,494 --> 00:09:59,795 This is awesome! 255 00:09:59,796 --> 00:10:02,431 I'm part of this! 256 00:10:02,432 --> 00:10:03,732 Barney, I don't know 257 00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:06,101 if the oven is deep enough. Plus, 258 00:10:06,102 --> 00:10:09,772 it's a display made of cardboard. 259 00:10:09,773 --> 00:10:12,341 Huh. I should probably disconnect the gas. 260 00:10:13,543 --> 00:10:15,277 Hey, just so you guys know, 261 00:10:15,278 --> 00:10:17,946 there was a tiny explosion at the sewage treatment plant 262 00:10:17,947 --> 00:10:19,615 across the street from our apartment, 263 00:10:19,616 --> 00:10:21,517 but I'm sure it's fine by now. 264 00:10:21,518 --> 00:10:22,885 This is awesome! 265 00:10:22,886 --> 00:10:24,019 It's not awesome! 266 00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:27,056 I think the smaller turkey just tried 267 00:10:27,057 --> 00:10:30,359 to crawl further inside the bigger turkey. 268 00:10:31,728 --> 00:10:33,562 Um... 269 00:10:33,563 --> 00:10:36,732 Um... I'm have... 270 00:10:36,733 --> 00:10:38,951 I'm having trouble breathing! 271 00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:42,904 Mom keeps an extra litter box in here. 272 00:10:43,757 --> 00:10:45,574 There you go. 273 00:10:45,575 --> 00:10:47,209 Good as new. 274 00:10:48,128 --> 00:10:50,345 Oh. Hey, Ginger. 275 00:10:52,716 --> 00:10:54,600 Ted, you're not gonna like this, 276 00:10:54,601 --> 00:10:56,468 but we do have one other option. 277 00:10:57,587 --> 00:10:59,021 Hey, you guys 278 00:10:59,022 --> 00:11:01,123 should come to my house for Thanksgiving. 279 00:11:01,124 --> 00:11:03,592 My husband always spends it with his daughter, 280 00:11:03,593 --> 00:11:05,194 so I'm going to be alone anyway. 281 00:11:05,195 --> 00:11:06,779 Could we bring Ted? 282 00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:09,631 It's Thanksgiving. 283 00:11:09,632 --> 00:11:10,733 What the hell? 284 00:11:10,734 --> 00:11:14,837 (group cheering) 285 00:11:14,838 --> 00:11:16,789 No. Absolutely not. 286 00:11:16,790 --> 00:11:18,624 Come on. Give her a chance. 287 00:11:18,625 --> 00:11:20,442 Ted, you violated a dead turkey 288 00:11:20,443 --> 00:11:22,161 with another dead turkey. 289 00:11:22,162 --> 00:11:23,912 Don't let that be in vain. 290 00:11:23,913 --> 00:11:25,948 Guys? Wait a minute. 291 00:11:25,949 --> 00:11:27,416 Where's Barney? 292 00:11:27,417 --> 00:11:28,917 (chuckles) 293 00:11:28,918 --> 00:11:31,754 And here's the twist, Babaka. 294 00:11:31,755 --> 00:11:36,325 Because Ted left early, he's now The Blitz! 295 00:11:36,326 --> 00:11:38,560 But Barney, now you left the group. 296 00:11:38,561 --> 00:11:41,430 Wouldn't that put you in danger of becoming The Blitz yourself? 297 00:11:41,431 --> 00:11:43,198 No. I c... 298 00:11:43,199 --> 00:11:45,300 Because... 299 00:11:45,301 --> 00:11:47,436 Step on it. 300 00:11:47,437 --> 00:11:49,438 (laughing) 301 00:11:49,439 --> 00:11:50,856 You missed it. 302 00:11:50,857 --> 00:11:51,940 Oh, my goodness. 303 00:11:51,941 --> 00:11:53,242 Our cab took a wrong turn. 304 00:11:53,243 --> 00:11:55,210 We were in the Thanksgiving Day parade! 305 00:11:55,211 --> 00:11:58,247 Tony Bennett passed Ted the mike and he sang "Twist and Shout!" 306 00:11:58,248 --> 00:11:59,832 But he's The Blitz. 307 00:11:59,833 --> 00:12:02,951 No. I'm not The Blitz. 308 00:12:02,952 --> 00:12:04,319 I'm The Bueller. 309 00:12:05,121 --> 00:12:06,255 You know what this means. 310 00:12:06,256 --> 00:12:07,923 You're The Blitz. 311 00:12:08,691 --> 00:12:12,377 MYSTERIOUS VOICE: Blitz... 312 00:12:14,364 --> 00:12:15,964 Oh, God, no! 313 00:12:15,965 --> 00:12:17,382 Life moves pretty fast, Barney. 314 00:12:17,383 --> 00:12:19,668 If you don't stop and look around once in a while, 315 00:12:19,669 --> 00:12:20,969 you might miss it. 316 00:12:21,538 --> 00:12:23,305 Chicka-chicka! 317 00:12:25,842 --> 00:12:27,860 Happy Thanksgiving! 318 00:12:28,845 --> 00:12:30,179 Ted. 319 00:12:30,180 --> 00:12:31,713 Zoey. 320 00:12:32,749 --> 00:12:36,485 Best friend alert! 321 00:12:39,155 --> 00:12:42,090 Okay, the Turturkeykey is officially cooking. 322 00:12:42,091 --> 00:12:43,859 Oh, God, that is disgusting! 323 00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:47,162 Okay, guys, that's starting to hurt. 324 00:12:47,163 --> 00:12:48,463 No... no, Ted. 325 00:12:48,464 --> 00:12:50,899 Random number guy just sent me his wang back. 326 00:12:50,900 --> 00:12:52,134 Wow. 327 00:12:52,135 --> 00:12:55,554 You sent a wang out, and you got a wang back. 328 00:12:55,555 --> 00:12:56,738 It's a boom-a-wang. 329 00:12:56,739 --> 00:12:58,207 Nice. Thank you. 330 00:12:58,208 --> 00:12:59,775 No, I meant the wang. 331 00:12:59,776 --> 00:13:01,577 Barney, could you get me some more ice? 332 00:13:01,578 --> 00:13:03,679 Sure. 333 00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,714 But... no one move while I'm gone. 334 00:13:05,715 --> 00:13:07,216 (whispering): I'm scared. 335 00:13:07,217 --> 00:13:08,183 You're safe. 336 00:13:08,184 --> 00:13:09,568 It's okay to leave the room. 337 00:13:09,569 --> 00:13:11,119 You have to actually leave the building 338 00:13:11,120 --> 00:13:12,254 for something cool to happen. 339 00:13:12,255 --> 00:13:13,755 Thanks. 340 00:13:13,756 --> 00:13:16,625 You're the only one who's nice to me about this. 341 00:13:18,778 --> 00:13:20,963 Okay, I got to test this. 342 00:13:25,034 --> 00:13:26,301 (all yelling happily) 343 00:13:26,302 --> 00:13:28,103 What happened? 344 00:13:28,938 --> 00:13:30,505 You missed it! 345 00:13:30,506 --> 00:13:32,207 Dude, you walked out of the room, 346 00:13:32,208 --> 00:13:35,777 the laws of physics stopped and the laws of awesome tripled. 347 00:13:36,713 --> 00:13:39,248 Aw, man! You said I could leave the room! 348 00:13:39,249 --> 00:13:41,383 I just wanted to see something cool happen. 349 00:13:42,018 --> 00:13:43,285 I'm sorry. 350 00:13:43,286 --> 00:13:45,554 But I was on that island for what seems like eternity. 351 00:13:45,555 --> 00:13:47,589 I'm going to enjoy things on the other side. 352 00:13:47,590 --> 00:13:49,808 No! Y-You... 353 00:13:49,809 --> 00:13:51,093 Robin, Robin. 354 00:13:51,094 --> 00:13:53,729 I will pay you to be The Blitz. 355 00:13:53,730 --> 00:13:55,814 $100! No-- $10,000. 356 00:13:55,815 --> 00:13:57,199 No-- 60 bucks. 357 00:13:57,200 --> 00:13:59,268 That's a lot of money for someone like you. 358 00:13:59,269 --> 00:14:02,371 Dude, The Blitz isn't something that can be bought or sold. 359 00:14:02,372 --> 00:14:04,273 Yeah, it's not like Ted's integrity. 360 00:14:04,274 --> 00:14:05,540 Oh, what was that? 361 00:14:05,541 --> 00:14:07,442 I was distracted by the four-caret diamond 362 00:14:07,443 --> 00:14:09,111 your 53-year-old husband bought you. 363 00:14:09,112 --> 00:14:10,312 Facial! 364 00:14:10,313 --> 00:14:11,513 Now, if you'll excuse me, 365 00:14:11,514 --> 00:14:13,315 I have a turturkeykey to baste. 366 00:14:13,316 --> 00:14:14,416 I'm coming with you. 367 00:14:14,417 --> 00:14:16,752 No... I baste alone. 368 00:14:16,753 --> 00:14:18,453 Oh, I'm sure you're a master baster, Ted. 369 00:14:18,454 --> 00:14:20,422 Word play. Loving it. 370 00:14:20,423 --> 00:14:21,490 But relax. 371 00:14:21,491 --> 00:14:22,491 I've got a ton of sides 372 00:14:22,492 --> 00:14:23,959 to heat up since my plans fell through. 373 00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:25,560 Who canceled? Your coven? 374 00:14:25,561 --> 00:14:27,996 Coven. Group of witches. Boom. 375 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:30,666 Yeah. They were worn out from putting that spell on your hair. 376 00:14:30,667 --> 00:14:32,267 Oh! Serve returned. 377 00:14:32,268 --> 00:14:33,535 Are you happy? 378 00:14:33,536 --> 00:14:34,870 You're ruining Thanksgiving. 379 00:14:34,871 --> 00:14:36,471 Well, you're not exactly who I thought 380 00:14:36,472 --> 00:14:38,040 I'd be spending Thanksgiving with, either. 381 00:14:39,158 --> 00:14:41,193 God, I'm so happy to be here. 382 00:14:41,194 --> 00:14:43,478 My face hurts from smiling. 383 00:14:43,479 --> 00:14:45,146 Oh... I'm sorry, Lily. 384 00:14:45,147 --> 00:14:46,782 I'm just never going to like that woman. 385 00:14:46,783 --> 00:14:48,200 Ted, give her a chance. 386 00:14:48,201 --> 00:14:49,551 Enemies can't become friends. 387 00:14:49,552 --> 00:14:50,886 Yes, they can. 388 00:14:50,887 --> 00:14:51,920 Right, guys? 389 00:14:51,921 --> 00:14:53,872 (all murmuring in agreement) 390 00:14:53,873 --> 00:14:55,323 No, no, no. You guys can't be objective. 391 00:14:55,324 --> 00:14:56,658 You still feel guilty about last night. 392 00:14:56,659 --> 00:14:57,726 Well, let's get an outside opinion. 393 00:14:57,727 --> 00:14:58,760 Who are we gonna-- 394 00:14:58,761 --> 00:15:00,495 "Dear Wang Guy..." Oh. 395 00:15:00,496 --> 00:15:03,398 "Can enemies ever be friends? 396 00:15:03,399 --> 00:15:05,000 Just wondering." 397 00:15:05,001 --> 00:15:06,501 Really? 398 00:15:06,502 --> 00:15:09,237 Wang Guy? We're asking Wang Guy? 399 00:15:09,238 --> 00:15:10,772 He's bold and uninhibited, 400 00:15:10,773 --> 00:15:12,140 so why not? 401 00:15:12,141 --> 00:15:15,410 And guys, you know what? For fun, why don't we ask him 402 00:15:15,411 --> 00:15:17,179 what he does for a living? 403 00:15:17,180 --> 00:15:19,181 Wouldn't that be fun? 404 00:15:19,182 --> 00:15:20,849 Just ask... Aww. 405 00:15:20,850 --> 00:15:23,385 You've got a little crush on Wang Guy, don't you? 406 00:15:23,386 --> 00:15:25,787 What? No. Shut up. 407 00:15:25,788 --> 00:15:27,155 I hate him. (laughs) 408 00:15:27,156 --> 00:15:28,190 (cell phone chimes) Oh, look. 409 00:15:28,191 --> 00:15:29,925 We got an answer. Here it is. 410 00:15:29,926 --> 00:15:32,995 "Yes, enemies can become friends. 411 00:15:32,996 --> 00:15:35,697 "Remember what Gandhi said. 412 00:15:35,698 --> 00:15:38,467 'Be the change you want to see in the world.'" 413 00:15:38,468 --> 00:15:41,136 Uh, did Wang Guy just quote Gandhi? 414 00:15:41,137 --> 00:15:42,871 (laughing): That is amazing. 415 00:15:42,872 --> 00:15:44,389 And I was here for it. 416 00:15:44,390 --> 00:15:47,376 Now Zoey is The Blitz. Ha, ha! 417 00:15:47,377 --> 00:15:49,878 (weak laugh) Burn on her. 418 00:15:51,014 --> 00:15:52,247 Come on, man. 419 00:15:52,248 --> 00:15:54,082 Don't be that Blitz. 420 00:15:54,083 --Y`]sS4W3Nթ9;Ho&_U@{na~΂ZdmvzgKf_n=Rrս? Νy=HM[1 .|2K#*oGswG!"Ot [fK%k&~p.B9mIvv'Ho{,:šQrŀI{ʻSZFc8uov2przrSgg N|B8٩~nlZ}RADE~JwU şEY~Ҩ.R!ZS[p˽ ΄N" fK|!]G\|rK$iZmvX*x2P!^)1^ŌCFKQh5VZ P֍)pQyog7#xl,lI>TgZ_H"ڱ.PD.@6X?=ˏTA;b:W~9_!26]*CՌI|>&P ͊97A>`$݌Ҹ$f \mafES_|LofeėJp;u-IrsCϋRZkv,Uh""xsW@q%dm>m}Ôt"a m췊b,OOF+79MXwFy͍9M/ZZ.))əzR< RQbWR%Ǧp#7'>^(ɳhDBA +P"”&z^[I7)D g J:E8^J%e8 (ۏKȝjC2aWl$FXYCoo,!k~ӉKU[]sXmWkKW jl$YZm4g-\Šh)rrA"DաoȠ"x'#azd h2G;K ]\WePŐ[FGKSlb`)d1T;jA@)FӶ]ܫ_ ]HAu8A]h>{&>$Ge.H,u1~ܵЛF _QOi3fRj>[oO ,IoxZhWM<5s?BT,{,N?ҋ:hnpu]p].⃳xD~6c^kz^J ՙpxR3JZ5PuUq*BCO@U:W৷7Ecs=L-AK{ƭv2W:N_>`JRK+0`x/M_@K l2q՘d h8oVWEuhnk+7rݜYl/TMh}X|`r*ЃQj_[X[O#'t&q@d|.qz`\Bؕm^efxLOj~CA pr_Dҁ)xǺv͇_Y#>d6/رcS|y57A\ua+Cδ^b-A۵9 (NV28 Lwe؍-6!C7k) azx&sk@n˅1y*u՝[L`7RI6XI< Jl ` F: J]1 s6vk:% HwP6SHi9vq[9IA<*F&spPFO%y#=d+EӿnP`dE-XSEre\& H2 2NCwڥ7Sm"X x"Wc]Z@n@WdCгFAE-A! #sFh7\F` -k/n."ޗ{RO\|Ud> xMڸ8T__Txi/y 8lM8 E]&;L0Qؓ lB{6.HƘFlaR/({ n|{vь<| VS`[!s0Hw:3>81n1 nX81D='.}d=5%*&, ;6c4X̝Yñ[3\_?5sjŊ##/G<(HBWME}~av8c'*Ք/U=A ZH4<[b}_/K|I?gic\Q6 -B\X] ^Db-moޱ;d8.ҩKTO0rL,#DKZw3HIBpTۥHKnz`А'$AdtCi؀ Xk ߤgϔק18ffj[m=iqZ_ulś,^ ꡟ%hd}5Ď6Q۶:.s_ mrQKk`x%&eLz; &gB54%Lx6rü& O͹ TV>vD^}W3?A!VxRBp U/*;GeE*'zv*^-T0 *sLlJD,*~eM2Nd쿍!*sHAn_/k{!d|w&.C"kVa.)/3Zy8\nN$?JW9^)JT Bu K>x\Q *pn{+@d z9+tl`6{IՋP౳rb-]}4KmA<)N(FV+E֎co>xѶjwFo}+TOYo͸O;q) wC7z2 N-lenS1#d3cJCu4c'oXFT_c+ǹ 1_=o'OC |$8*lPzMow@D(4&J#<$]9Ym[77U˕frPRるpN^UnVjٞ&qWdʨ_LjF#&}a(;sٰC. +,3 /пu5{ijBn:1BUMS_s<Cy Up:y0J%jq(ӳ* U{ rʏ24dw# Z v wV"ԢD'$О7Ο迚1[)uCYz1ł8Ei[S!%"sfQq.N:M8O46ND[Z& ٔ>GCN톴 KJ)G (^R&9 ybhN`핕]ۆH%; QZ| *]*yf&η[z$OEsU4"5iNn3T]|cGlYΦd bNRl? ƮHݙ1@*ȱ$ nW{GqA r])!qHo&D4vPIDki=Z̦7W/M>LAw; ni"w n)x4 p7 Zoek:_yCMԥb[o- l""\++Zп*;c|+N ;/$Hu-XO6KY^}MVHj<C`cz+9Aְ'3k̴JIc̺! S0lq^9^! +v9"EsDWU`Ed{쎝i@`@Y96w'$3Ztb{-2MYH@K1%M=|OqbA z&3GL">Pi5'yՅ)Mq1 xP_jM; *S4Zke~5 1 H7::c(1S `d=grGpZW,tKSb}7l/̢/۵Ȕۤ?XpkT= DCN4\i[(l$0 9סKx7,d %@{r?P7y@َPeeݔ O)BVzlyxTsCcrp%m: ,qӾз}>M ?Qanڪ@އ⍏#Es4^TP+ywr 4 ltQ6yU=51m ug38o_}w(sz9rY [}3ߞ[sX+,?6*6':[rͫ 7O ,u}7ʎ; g =Y JHQ\92S `B 5a†kMk’rfK{\U %n[E}bYVƈkam2Fl*m[n"Ct~ yJ.FaJ%V\(|G<q8IMzb|n䗈"fPJEπ,3v㔷OD=e+4m)dv.j6ا6))N? R