1 00:00:01,308 --> 00:00:03,476 NARRATOR: Kids, this is a story of landmarks. 2 00:00:03,927 --> 00:00:05,661 There are certain moments in life when you have to decide 3 00:00:05,662 --> 00:00:07,930 which things you can stand to see torn down, 4 00:00:07,931 --> 00:00:10,833 and which things you have to preserve, no matter what. 5 00:00:10,834 --> 00:00:13,068 Such a moment came for all of us 6 00:00:13,069 --> 00:00:16,639 in May of 2011, at a special meeting of the 7 00:00:16,640 --> 00:00:18,240 New York City Landmarks Preservation Commission, 8 00:00:18,241 --> 00:00:19,274 where the fate of The Arcadian 9 00:00:19,275 --> 00:00:20,776 would be decided once and for all. 10 00:00:20,777 --> 00:00:24,246 A symbol of strength and constancy, 11 00:00:24,247 --> 00:00:25,714 the stone lion of The Arcadian 12 00:00:25,715 --> 00:00:28,450 has watched over New Yorkers for generations. 13 00:00:28,451 --> 00:00:29,618 So remember: 14 00:00:29,619 --> 00:00:33,088 if the lion head stonework is regal, 15 00:00:33,089 --> 00:00:37,226 then tearing it down should be illegal. 16 00:00:37,927 --> 00:00:39,094 (cheering) MARSHALL: Well... 17 00:00:39,095 --> 00:00:41,063 Did you like that? All right, uh... 18 00:00:41,064 --> 00:00:44,266 We must make sure the lion is always there. 19 00:00:44,267 --> 00:00:48,971 Destroy The Arcadian? Oh, no, don't you dare. 20 00:00:52,025 --> 00:00:53,809 Yeah? Yeah? Okay. 21 00:00:53,810 --> 00:00:55,177 Try this one on for size... 22 00:00:55,178 --> 00:00:58,714 If you want New York's history at your beck and call... 23 00:00:58,715 --> 00:01:00,683 All right, thank you, Mr. Eriksen. 24 00:01:00,684 --> 00:01:02,001 I just have... 25 00:01:04,621 --> 00:01:07,873 MODERATOR: We will now hear from the architect 26 00:01:07,874 --> 00:01:09,625 of the proposed GNB Tower, 27 00:01:09,626 --> 00:01:12,127 Ted Mosby. 28 00:01:13,263 --> 00:01:14,897 (audience cheering) MODERATOR: Now, uh, 29 00:01:14,898 --> 00:01:17,599 Mr. Mosby, let's just cut right to the chase. 30 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,269 Do you think The Arcadian should be a landmark? 31 00:01:20,270 --> 00:01:24,306 (intense music starts and swells) 32 00:01:24,331 --> 00:01:29,881 (music cuts off) 33 00:01:31,063 --> 00:01:34,399 Okay, it's killing me. What rhymes with "beck and call?" 34 00:01:35,017 --> 00:01:36,585 Wrecking ball. 35 00:01:36,586 --> 00:01:38,454 Don't go swinging no wrecking ball. 36 00:01:38,455 --> 00:01:41,206 AUDIENCE: Ah... 37 00:01:41,207 --> 00:01:43,025 Thank you. 38 00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:47,190 ? How I Met Your Mother 6x23 ? Landmarks Original Air Date on May 9, 2011 39 00:01:47,215 --> 00:01:51,215 == sync, corrected by elderman == 40 00:01:55,755 --> 00:01:57,973 Mr. Mosby, 41 00:01:57,974 --> 00:02:00,576 do you think The Arcadian should be a landmark? 42 00:02:00,577 --> 00:02:01,910 It's not a difficult question. 43 00:02:01,911 --> 00:02:04,046 NARRATOR: Actually, it was a difficult question. 44 00:02:04,047 --> 00:02:06,448 Of course, had he asked me a few days earlier, 45 00:02:06,449 --> 00:02:08,383 I would have immediately said... 46 00:02:08,384 --> 00:02:11,270 "Yes. The Arcadian should be a landmark." 47 00:02:11,271 --> 00:02:13,655 And then the crowd gasps: "Oh, my God! 48 00:02:13,656 --> 00:02:14,990 "Did he really just say that? 49 00:02:14,991 --> 00:02:16,258 "Oh, heavens! 50 00:02:16,259 --> 00:02:17,493 "Oh, my stars! 51 00:02:17,494 --> 00:02:19,361 I must clutch my pearls!" 52 00:02:19,362 --> 00:02:22,598 So these things are generally attended by old Southern ladies? 53 00:02:22,599 --> 00:02:24,666 Almost exclusively. But here's my point: 54 00:02:24,667 --> 00:02:28,370 If they ask GNB's chief architect-- aka me-- 55 00:02:28,371 --> 00:02:31,540 if The Arcadian should be a landmark, and I say "yes"? 56 00:02:31,541 --> 00:02:33,342 (mimes building blowing up) 57 00:02:34,477 --> 00:02:36,812 That, no, that wasn't The Arcadian being destroyed; 58 00:02:36,813 --> 00:02:38,964 that was GNB's hopes of destroying The Arcadian. 59 00:02:38,965 --> 00:02:40,186 I'm sorry, I should have been more clear. 60 00:02:40,187 --> 00:02:41,017 Yeah. 61 00:02:41,025 --> 00:02:42,925 The Arcadian's gonna be all like... 62 00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:45,587 Nice. (chuckles) 63 00:02:45,588 --> 00:02:47,189 I have a message from Barney. 64 00:02:47,190 --> 00:02:48,690 NARRATOR: Things between Barney 65 00:02:48,691 --> 00:02:51,760 and the rest of us had gotten a little frosty. 66 00:02:51,761 --> 00:02:53,428 First this happened. 67 00:02:53,429 --> 00:02:57,166 Meet the new lawyer I hired to help save The Arcadian. 68 00:02:58,100 --> 00:02:59,301 And then this happened. 69 00:02:59,302 --> 00:03:01,203 What kind of dirtbag 70 00:03:01,204 --> 00:03:04,139 doesn't stand by his best friends, but instead, 71 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:06,842 sides with some self-righteous bitch 72 00:03:06,843 --> 00:03:09,028 with a pointless cause and a megaphone?! 73 00:03:09,112 --> 00:03:11,046 TED: Dude! That's my girlfriend. 74 00:03:11,447 --> 00:03:13,081 And ya know what? 75 00:03:13,082 --> 00:03:16,018 I'm on her side now, too. 76 00:03:16,019 --> 00:03:17,719 NARRATOR: Which led to this happening. 77 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,721 Message from Barney? That's my cue to leave. 78 00:03:19,722 --> 00:03:21,106 Good night, guys. 79 00:03:21,107 --> 00:03:23,392 - I love you. - Mmm. Love you, too. 80 00:03:23,393 --> 00:03:24,860 Good night. Good night. 81 00:03:24,861 --> 00:03:26,028 All right, what's the message? 82 00:03:26,029 --> 00:03:27,296 'Cause if it's another hypothetical 83 00:03:27,297 --> 00:03:29,898 yet eerily accurate drawing of my boobs... 84 00:03:29,899 --> 00:03:33,268 Yeah, I have that, too. 85 00:03:34,137 --> 00:03:35,671 Damn it. 86 00:03:35,672 --> 00:03:38,440 All right, here's the message. (clears throat) 87 00:03:38,441 --> 00:03:41,009 "Oh, hey, guys. Didn't see you there. 88 00:03:41,010 --> 00:03:43,645 "I was too busy feelin' fine and..." 89 00:03:43,646 --> 00:03:45,614 Really? 90 00:03:48,885 --> 00:03:52,120 (sighs) "Feelin' fine and gettin' some 'jine." 91 00:03:53,223 --> 00:03:55,390 ROBIN: "You may have noticed the giant plate 92 00:03:55,391 --> 00:03:57,342 "of hot wings in front of me. 93 00:03:57,343 --> 00:03:59,294 "I know how much you love hot wings. 94 00:03:59,295 --> 00:04:00,996 "Too bad someone bribed the kitchen 95 00:04:00,997 --> 00:04:02,931 "to take them off the menu tonight. 96 00:04:02,932 --> 00:04:04,216 "So, if you want some, 97 00:04:04,217 --> 00:04:07,603 "you're going to have to come back to GNB. 98 00:04:07,604 --> 00:04:09,037 "But hurry, this offer 99 00:04:09,038 --> 00:04:11,506 will be gone lickety-split." 100 00:04:15,879 --> 00:04:17,946 "Do evil laugh." 101 00:04:17,947 --> 00:04:19,248 Oh, um... 102 00:04:19,249 --> 00:04:22,584 (meek impression of Barney's laugh) (silent laugh) 103 00:04:23,686 --> 00:04:24,870 So, what are you turds up to? 104 00:04:24,871 --> 00:04:27,890 Oh, we've got the big LPC meeting in two days. 105 00:04:27,891 --> 00:04:29,524 I have my whole presentation worked out. 106 00:04:29,525 --> 00:04:31,927 I just need to find a good rhyme to end on. 107 00:04:31,928 --> 00:04:32,995 Why does it need to rhyme? 108 00:04:32,996 --> 00:04:33,995 Mm. 109 00:04:33,996 --> 00:04:36,565 If you end an argument with a rhyme, 110 00:04:36,859 --> 00:04:38,799 it's convincing all the time. - Yeah. 111 00:04:38,801 --> 00:04:40,202 It's why in our apartment: 112 00:04:40,203 --> 00:04:42,204 If you're a-hopin' to score, 113 00:04:42,205 --> 00:04:44,106 don't leave your socks on the floor. 114 00:04:44,107 --> 00:04:45,941 And she hasn't since. No. 115 00:04:45,942 --> 00:04:47,943 Okay, okay. A couple of things. 116 00:04:47,944 --> 00:04:49,578 Lily, how'd I do? Nailed it. 117 00:04:49,579 --> 00:04:50,596 (dry chuckle) 118 00:04:50,597 --> 00:04:51,914 Secondly, Ted, 119 00:04:51,915 --> 00:04:53,865 I'm sorry I said mean things about Zoey. 120 00:04:53,866 --> 00:04:56,551 Are you really going to walk away from this project 121 00:04:56,552 --> 00:04:57,753 just because you're mad at me? 122 00:04:57,754 --> 00:04:59,788 It's not because I'm mad at you. 123 00:04:59,789 --> 00:05:02,057 Barney, The Arcadian was designed 124 00:05:02,058 --> 00:05:03,592 by a guy named John Clifford Larrabee. 125 00:05:03,593 --> 00:05:05,560 And even though he's been dead for half a century, 126 00:05:05,561 --> 00:05:07,913 it's my duty, architect to architect, 127 00:05:07,914 --> 00:05:09,031 to keep his work alive. 128 00:05:09,032 --> 00:05:11,934 Please tell me a little part of you understands. 129 00:05:11,935 --> 00:05:14,136 I understand. 130 00:05:14,137 --> 00:05:17,606 Zoey has magic lady bits. What? 131 00:05:17,607 --> 00:05:19,741 Zoey's lady bits... 132 00:05:19,742 --> 00:05:22,577 are magic, and that's how she controls your mind. 133 00:05:22,578 --> 00:05:25,113 You see, every few hundred millennia, 134 00:05:25,114 --> 00:05:27,215 lady bits leap forward... I know 135 00:05:27,216 --> 00:05:28,450 you're only just getting started, 136 00:05:28,451 --> 00:05:30,319 but this is already gross. 137 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:33,055 I once knew such a girl. 138 00:05:33,056 --> 00:05:35,424 BARNEY: It was last call. 139 00:05:35,425 --> 00:05:36,725 In this very bar. 140 00:05:40,363 --> 00:05:43,098 What...?! 141 00:05:43,099 --> 00:05:45,767 No... 142 00:05:45,768 --> 00:05:48,503 What?! 143 00:05:48,504 --> 00:05:50,672 No... 144 00:05:50,673 --> 00:05:53,241 What?! 145 00:05:53,242 --> 00:05:55,377 Um... 146 00:05:55,378 --> 00:05:59,581 thank you for, um, not using a first name in that story. 147 00:06:01,818 --> 00:06:04,619 Barney, this is about the building. 148 00:06:04,620 --> 00:06:06,855 Come on. This is so about the girl. 149 00:06:06,856 --> 00:06:09,324 Okay, fine. It's about the girl! 150 00:06:09,325 --> 00:06:11,426 I am doing this for Zoey! 151 00:06:11,427 --> 00:06:12,761 I'm in love with her. 152 00:06:12,762 --> 00:06:16,198 Look, I know it's early, but there's a very good chance 153 00:06:16,199 --> 00:06:18,183 Zoey might be the mother of my children. 154 00:06:18,184 --> 00:06:21,003 So, in addition to doing this for John Clifford Larrabee, 155 00:06:21,004 --> 00:06:23,021 I'm also doing this for Luke and Leia. 156 00:06:23,022 --> 00:06:25,941 Wait. She's gonna let you name your kids Luke and Leia? 157 00:06:25,942 --> 00:06:27,909 Not if I knock down her favorite building, she isn't. 158 00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:29,310 Barney, I'm sorry. 159 00:06:29,311 --> 00:06:31,697 Oh, you're not sorry now, Ted Mosby. 160 00:06:31,698 --> 00:06:33,482 But you will be. 161 00:06:33,483 --> 00:06:37,586 You... will... be. 162 00:06:37,587 --> 00:06:41,623 (evil laugh) 163 00:06:41,624 --> 00:06:43,658 (laughing harder and louder) 164 00:06:43,659 --> 00:06:45,143 That's how you do an evil laugh. 165 00:06:45,144 --> 00:06:46,928 Ciao for now. 166 00:06:48,131 --> 00:06:50,065 NARRATOR: Now, kids, you remember Arthur Hobbs, 167 00:06:50,066 --> 00:06:52,434 Barney and Marshall's old boss at GNB? 168 00:06:52,435 --> 00:06:54,803 Well, Arthur was going through a divorce and taking it 169 00:06:54,804 --> 00:06:56,071 kind of hard. Hi, Arthur. 170 00:06:56,072 --> 00:06:58,573 (sighs) Everything okay? 171 00:06:58,574 --> 00:07:00,308 No, everything's not okay. 172 00:07:00,309 --> 00:07:03,745 My stupid wife got custody of Tugboat. 173 00:07:03,746 --> 00:07:05,147 God, I should have kept her hidden 174 00:07:05,148 --> 00:07:07,149 in a cage in the basement. 175 00:07:07,150 --> 00:07:09,084 Isn't that animal cruelty? 176 00:07:09,085 --> 00:07:10,986 I'm talking about my wife. 177 00:07:10,987 --> 00:07:13,422 Oh. That's fine, then. 178 00:07:14,407 --> 00:07:18,133 So listen, you know Ted, the architect? 179 00:07:18,261 --> 00:07:19,861 Yeah, I know your friend Ted. So, 180 00:07:19,862 --> 00:07:22,164 if Ted stood up at that big meeting tomorrow 181 00:07:22,165 --> 00:07:25,700 and said that he thought The Arcadian should be a landmark... 182 00:07:25,701 --> 00:07:27,936 you wouldn't just fire him, would you? 183 00:07:27,937 --> 00:07:30,872 (laughs uncomfortably): Right? 184 00:07:30,873 --> 00:07:32,240 You wouldn't just... 185 00:07:32,241 --> 00:07:33,375 You wouldn't just... yeah... 186 00:07:33,376 --> 00:07:35,844 No, Barney. I wouldn't just fire him. 187 00:07:35,845 --> 00:07:38,046 I'd also fire you. 188 00:07:39,449 --> 00:07:40,949 Come again for Big Fudge? 189 00:07:45,023 --> 00:07:47,957 Can you believe that?! I can't be unemployed, Robin! 190 00:07:47,996 --> 00:07:50,598 My job is my identity; It's who I am. 191 00:07:50,599 --> 00:07:52,600 It gives me the confidence I need 192 00:07:52,601 --> 00:07:55,003 to convince girls I'm a fighter pilot. 193 00:07:55,004 --> 00:07:56,871 I-I don't understand. 194 00:07:56,872 --> 00:07:58,673 Why would he fire you? 195 00:07:58,674 --> 00:07:59,974 I don't understand. 196 00:07:59,975 --> 00:08:01,175 Why would you fire me? 197 00:08:01,176 --> 00:08:03,544 Have you already forgotten how Mosby got that job? 198 00:08:03,545 --> 00:08:06,581 By being the best architect available? 199 00:08:06,582 --> 00:08:08,182 No. 200 00:08:08,183 --> 00:08:11,185 By... being Latino? 201 00:08:11,186 --> 00:08:14,322 No. Let me refresh your memory. 202 00:08:14,323 --> 00:08:16,190 We were in this very room. 203 00:08:16,191 --> 00:08:18,226 Guys, I'm telling you, 204 00:08:18,227 --> 00:08:22,397 if Ted Mosby isn't fantastic, fire me. 205 00:08:22,398 --> 00:08:24,132 Damn it! 206 00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:25,533 I was kidding? 207 00:08:25,534 --> 00:08:26,868 I'm not kidding! 208 00:08:26,869 --> 00:08:28,803 Oh, by the way, Arthur, 209 00:08:28,804 --> 00:08:30,171 uh, how are things with you and your wife? 210 00:08:30,172 --> 00:08:31,339 Really good. 211 00:08:31,340 --> 00:08:33,374 In fact, I just put all my assets in her name. 212 00:08:33,375 --> 00:08:35,310 Smartest thing I've ever done. 213 00:08:35,311 --> 00:08:37,011 BOTH: Damn it! No, 214 00:08:37,012 --> 00:08:39,647 you'd better make sure Mosby doesn't screw up tomorrow. 215 00:08:39,648 --> 00:08:41,616 Because either that building is going down, 216 00:08:41,617 --> 00:08:43,952 or you're going down. 217 00:08:43,953 --> 00:08:45,386 TED: They're going 218 00:08:45,387 --> 00:08:46,955 to fire him? That sucks. He loves that job. 219 00:08:46,956 --> 00:08:50,191 And he's been doing it for years. 220 00:08:50,192 --> 00:08:52,360 Okay, what does Barney do at GNB? 221 00:08:52,361 --> 00:08:54,629 No idea. He has a lot of keys. 222 00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:56,731 Okay, Ted, can you just please think about this before you... 223 00:08:56,732 --> 00:08:57,865 There's nothing to think about. 224 00:08:57,866 --> 00:08:59,267 I-I can't lose Zoey. 225 00:08:59,268 --> 00:09:01,035 That's the only thing that matters to me right now. 226 00:09:01,036 --> 00:09:02,403 Okay, Ted... 227 00:09:02,404 --> 00:09:03,838 you know I love Zoey. 228 00:09:03,839 --> 00:09:06,474 But, look, sometimes... 229 00:09:06,475 --> 00:09:07,909 I go play chess in the park. 230 00:09:07,910 --> 00:09:09,877 And the key to chess... 231 00:09:09,878 --> 00:09:12,380 Okay, I play online. 232 00:09:12,381 --> 00:09:15,383 But the key to chess... Okay, it's Angry Birds! 233 00:09:16,218 --> 00:09:17,719 But the key to Angry Birds 234 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:21,089 is to always try to see every possible outcome. 235 00:09:21,090 --> 00:09:23,157 And to... hit some pigs with rocks or something. 236 00:09:23,158 --> 00:09:25,827 I don't know; I don't play. I can't get it to download. 237 00:09:26,829 --> 00:09:29,330 The point is, this thing with you and Zoey? 238 00:09:29,331 --> 00:09:32,066 I can see it going three possible ways. 239 00:09:32,067 --> 00:09:33,634 There's the first scenario. 240 00:09:33,635 --> 00:09:35,203 ROBIN: The chairman asks you... 241 00:09:35,204 --> 00:09:37,127 Do you think The Arcadian should be a landmark? 242 00:09:37,128 --> 00:09:38,473 You say... No. 243 00:09:38,474 --> 00:09:40,051 And Zoey dumps you on the spot. 244 00:09:40,159 --> 00:09:42,777 We're done here. 245 00:09:42,778 --> 00:09:44,479 There's the second scenario. 246 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:46,047 ROBIN: The chairman asks you... 247 00:09:46,048 --> 00:09:47,891 Do you think The Arcadian should be a landmark? 248 00:09:47,892 --> 00:09:49,372 You say... Yes 249 00:09:49,384 --> 00:09:51,456 And you're happy for, like, a second, 250 00:09:51,587 --> 00:09:53,755 until you realize the building you helped save 251 00:09:53,756 --> 00:09:55,056 has just become a monument 252 00:09:55,057 --> 00:09:56,491 to everything this woman made you give up, 253 00:09:56,492 --> 00:09:57,759 and you resent her for it, 254 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,795 so much so, in fact, that you dump her. 255 00:10:00,796 --> 00:10:01,996 We're done here. 256 00:10:01,997 --> 00:10:03,870 You said there was a third scenario. 257 00:10:03,895 --> 00:10:05,033 Right. 258 00:10:05,034 --> 00:10:06,467 ROBIN: The chairman asks you... 259 00:10:06,468 --> 00:10:08,903 Do you think The Arcadian should be a landmark? 260 00:10:08,904 --> 00:10:10,988 But before you can answer... 261 00:10:10,989 --> 00:10:13,324 You're hit in the neck with a blow dart fired by the ninja 262 00:10:13,325 --> 00:10:15,877 Zoey's ex-husband hired to assassinate you. 263 00:10:19,148 --> 00:10:21,115 That one's less likely. 264 00:10:21,717 --> 00:10:23,818 What I'm saying... 265 00:10:23,819 --> 00:10:26,154 what I hate saying... 266 00:10:26,155 --> 00:10:28,656 is this. 267 00:10:28,657 --> 00:10:30,591 You and Zoey are gonna break up. 268 00:10:30,592 --> 00:10:33,027 But you can still save your career 269 00:10:33,028 --> 00:10:34,362 and Barney's. 270 00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,731 Okay, first of all, 271 00:10:36,732 --> 00:10:38,533 no ninja's getting a jump on me. 272 00:10:38,534 --> 00:10:41,903 I have the reflexes of a jungle... 273 00:10:41,904 --> 00:10:43,371 Tree? 274 00:10:44,807 --> 00:10:46,074 Second of all, 275 00:10:46,075 --> 00:10:48,176 I don't care that the odds are stacked against us. 276 00:10:48,177 --> 00:10:50,311 I'd rather try to make this work with Zoey 277 00:10:50,312 --> 00:10:53,414 than spend the rest of my life alone playing Angry Birds, 278 00:10:53,415 --> 00:10:54,582 which, by the way, I've shown you how to download, 279 00:10:54,583 --> 00:10:56,751 like, 20 times. I've got to say, 280 00:10:56,752 --> 00:10:58,186 I'm with Ted on this. 281 00:10:58,187 --> 00:10:59,420 Thank you. I mean, yes, 282 00:10:59,421 --> 00:11:01,739 this is a huge, divisive issue for them. 283 00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:03,691 Which means no matter what happens, 284 00:11:03,692 --> 00:11:05,927 there's gonna be a lot of resentment. 285 00:11:05,928 --> 00:11:07,195 Probably lasting 286 00:11:07,196 --> 00:11:08,729 for years... 287 00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:13,101 infecting every single moment of the rest of their relationship. 288 00:11:13,102 --> 00:11:16,003 So, in conclusion, I'm with Robin on this. 289 00:11:16,004 --> 00:11:17,772 Thank you. 290 00:11:17,773 --> 00:11:19,340 NARRATOR: That night, 291 00:11:19,341 --> 00:11:21,576 as I slept soundly... 292 00:11:26,081 --> 00:11:27,432 (gasps) 293 00:11:27,433 --> 00:11:29,150 (panting) 294 00:11:29,151 --> 00:11:31,285 Barney, what are you doing? 295 00:11:31,286 --> 00:11:33,454 Who is this Barney? 296 00:11:33,455 --> 00:11:35,740 My name is John Clifford Larrabee, 297 00:11:35,741 --> 00:11:37,792 architect of The Arcadian. 298 00:11:37,793 --> 00:11:38,793 And I am 299 00:11:38,794 --> 00:11:40,027 visiting you 300 00:11:40,028 --> 00:11:42,730 (ghostly moaning): in a dream... 301 00:11:42,731 --> 00:11:44,932 Really? 'Cause it feels more like my insane friend 302 00:11:44,933 --> 00:11:47,201 renting a costume and breaking into my apartment 303 00:11:47,202 --> 00:11:48,669 in the middle of the night 304 00:11:48,670 --> 00:11:51,372 for what I wish I could say was the first time. 305 00:11:51,373 --> 00:11:52,874 Look, it's a dream, it is. 306 00:11:52,875 --> 00:11:55,076 So just... okay? 307 00:11:56,879 --> 00:11:58,546 Theodore... 308 00:11:58,547 --> 00:12:00,281 heed my words: 309 00:12:00,282 --> 00:12:03,885 do not try to save The Arcadian. 310 00:12:03,886 --> 00:12:05,186 Barney, there's condoms in the drawer. 311 00:12:05,187 --> 00:12:06,437 Just take them and get out. 312 00:12:06,438 --> 00:12:08,656 (shouting dramatically): I am not 313 00:12:08,657 --> 00:12:09,941 (ghostly moaning): Barney... 314 00:12:09,942 --> 00:12:12,960 Whoa! Lighting change! 315 00:12:12,961 --> 00:12:17,665 Theodore, you know The Arcadian is a badly built, 316 00:12:17,666 --> 00:12:20,568 architecturally unimportant rat's nest 317 00:12:20,569 --> 00:12:23,371 designed by an overpaid, plagiarizing ether addict 318 00:12:23,372 --> 00:12:25,039 with two thumbs. 319 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:27,008 This guy. 320 00:12:27,009 --> 00:12:29,443 Okay, yes, it's-it's a terrible building, 321 00:12:29,444 --> 00:12:32,580 but... does that mean we have to knock it down? 322 00:12:32,581 --> 00:12:34,749 I mean, it's not bothering anyone. 323 00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:37,018 Just anyone who lives in it. 324 00:12:37,019 --> 00:12:38,920 Or looks at it. 325 00:12:38,921 --> 00:12:40,588 Or smells it. 326 00:12:40,589 --> 00:12:44,091 New York is never finished, Theodore. 327 00:12:44,092 --> 00:12:45,560 She's a lady 328 00:12:45,561 --> 00:12:48,596 only a handful of architects ever get to dance with. 329 00:12:48,597 --> 00:12:49,964 Do not miss 330 00:12:49,965 --> 00:12:51,933 your turn. 331 00:12:54,269 --> 00:12:56,871 The Arcadian has to go, doesn't it? 332 00:12:56,872 --> 00:12:58,072 Indeed. 333 00:12:58,073 --> 00:13:01,609 You realize this kind of screws up my personal life. 334 00:13:01,610 --> 00:13:04,111 Mo' buildings, mo' problems. 335 00:13:07,082 --> 00:13:09,116 This is a dream, right? 336 00:13:09,117 --> 00:13:11,752 Because, Barney, I swear to God, if that's you... 337 00:13:11,753 --> 00:13:12,620 (groans softly) 338 00:13:12,621 --> 00:13:14,889 (snaps fingers) 339 00:13:16,091 --> 00:13:19,894 Mommy's got Magic Lady Bits, Ted. 340 00:13:19,895 --> 00:13:22,563 (panting): Dream! Dream! 341 00:13:22,564 --> 00:13:24,332 It was just a dream. 342 00:13:24,333 --> 00:13:25,633 (panting) 343 00:13:25,634 --> 00:13:27,835 (groans, gasping) 344 00:13:30,505 --> 00:13:32,240 (exhales) 345 00:13:32,241 --> 00:13:34,308 ? ? 346 00:13:43,518 --> 00:13:46,554 Hey. I know it's late, but, uh... 347 00:13:46,555 --> 00:13:48,823 you want to meet up? 348 00:13:49,625 --> 00:13:51,092 ZOEY: Hello, Mr. Lion. 349 00:13:51,093 --> 00:13:52,727 TED: "Look on my works, 350 00:13:52,728 --> 00:13:56,430 ye mighty, and despair"" 351 00:13:56,431 --> 00:14:00,568 Hey, I met you right... 352 00:14:02,871 --> 00:14:04,038 (laughs) 353 00:14:04,039 --> 00:14:05,256 ...here. 354 00:14:05,257 --> 00:14:06,958 Right. And I mistook you 355 00:14:06,959 --> 00:14:08,759 for a prostitute right... 356 00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,711 here. 357 00:14:10,712 --> 00:14:12,380 As far as you know, I still could be one. 358 00:14:12,381 --> 00:14:13,414 Ah. And you, 359 00:14:13,415 --> 00:14:15,800 my good man, have run up quite a tab. 360 00:14:20,755 --> 00:14:22,923 Worth every penny. 361 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:26,360 (sighs): All right... 362 00:14:26,361 --> 00:14:27,812 this was fun. 363 00:14:29,765 --> 00:14:32,400 I'm gonna take this cab. 364 00:14:32,401 --> 00:14:34,101 Big day tomorrow. 365 00:14:34,102 --> 00:14:36,070 We need to get some sleep. 366 00:14:40,492 --> 00:14:42,843 And yet... 367 00:14:42,844 --> 00:14:45,613 No, we should get some sleep. 368 00:14:45,614 --> 00:14:47,748 But this was fun. 369 00:14:47,749 --> 00:14:49,116 Yeah. 370 00:14:49,117 --> 00:14:50,951 It's nice getting one last look 371 00:14:50,952 --> 00:14:52,987 to remember what we're trying to save. 372 00:14:52,988 --> 00:14:56,324 Exactly. 373 00:14:57,159 --> 00:14:58,359 You okay? 374 00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,227 Yeah. Good night. 375 00:15:00,228 --> 00:15:04,999 HORVATH: Mr. Mosby, I'm going to ask you one last time. 376 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,601 Should The Arcadian be a landmark? 377 00:15:09,471 --> 00:15:12,073 No, it shouldn't be a landmark. 378 00:15:12,074 --> 00:15:13,007 (audience gasps) 379 00:15:13,008 --> 00:15:14,041 There are a lot 380 00:15:14,042 --> 00:15:15,743 of important buildings in New York. 381 00:15:15,744 --> 00:15:17,545 The Arcadian isn't one of them. 382 00:15:22,317 --> 00:15:23,351 E-Excuse me, 383 00:15:23,352 --> 00:15:24,985 I have a question for Mr. Mosby. 384 00:15:24,986 --> 00:15:26,370 If he doesn't think 385 00:15:26,371 --> 00:15:30,291 The Arcadian's worth saving, then whose voice is this? 386 00:15:30,292 --> 00:15:32,893 TED (on recorder): The Arcadian should be a landmark. 387 00:15:32,894 --> 00:15:34,328 It should. 388 00:15:34,329 --> 00:15:37,365 The lion head stonework is iconic. 389 00:15:38,367 --> 00:15:39,600 I hate working for GNB. 390 00:15:39,601 --> 00:15:40,835 They're a bunch of... 391 00:15:40,836 --> 00:15:42,837 wieners and gonads. 392 00:15:42,838 --> 00:15:43,671 (all gasp) 393 00:15:43,672 --> 00:15:44,872 Oh, heavens! 394 00:15:44,873 --> 00:15:46,574 My stars! 395 00:15:46,575 --> 00:15:48,476 Is that your voice, Mr. Mosby? 396 00:15:53,181 --> 00:15:55,483 Yeah, that's me. 397 00:15:58,424 --> 00:16:00,391 This is a nightmare. I can't believe 398 00:16:00,422 --> 00:16:01,455 she kept that tape. 399 00:16:01,456 --> 00:16:02,423 The LPC's gonna 400 00:16:02,424 --> 00:16:04,091 come back with a decision tomorrow, 401 00:16:04,092 --> 00:16:05,359 and based on today... 402 00:16:05,360 --> 00:16:07,127 They're gonna landmark the hell out of that place. 403 00:16:07,128 --> 00:16:09,463 Yeah. We'll end up out of a job, 404 00:16:09,464 --> 00:16:14,068 all thanks to some stupid, only sort of awesome lion head. 405 00:16:14,069 --> 00:16:15,870 Better get used to that lion head. 406 00:16:15,871 --> 00:16:19,807 As of tomorrow, it's gonna be there till the end of times. 407 00:16:19,808 --> 00:16:22,643 And all because of my sweet, sweet rhymes. 408 00:16:24,146 --> 00:16:26,414 What are we gonna do? 409 00:16:28,717 --> 00:16:31,986 We should buy a bar. BARNEY: We should totally buy a bar! 410 00:16:31,987 --> 00:16:33,654 We should absolutely totally buy a bar! 411 00:16:33,655 --> 00:16:35,323 It's really the only sensible idea right now. 412 00:16:35,324 --> 00:16:36,624 MARSHALL: Oh, oh, and ready? 413 00:16:36,625 --> 00:16:37,992 It's a theme bar. 414 00:16:37,993 --> 00:16:39,026 TED: Mm! 415 00:16:39,027 --> 00:16:40,061 It's a courtroom. 416 00:16:40,062 --> 00:16:42,113 Yes! Ah! 417 00:16:42,114 --> 00:16:45,299 Where the bartenders wear sexy judges' robes. 418 00:16:45,300 --> 00:16:46,934 I'll allow it! 419 00:16:46,935 --> 00:16:49,337 The only court where you show up, then get served. 420 00:16:49,338 --> 00:16:50,337 Ho! 421 00:16:50,338 --> 00:16:52,607 You're judged by a jury of your beers. 422 00:16:52,608 --> 00:16:53,524 That's not bad. 423 00:16:53,525 --> 00:16:54,542 Just stop it! 424 00:16:54,543 --> 00:16:55,610 No one's buying a bar. 425 00:16:55,611 --> 00:16:57,195 Right now we have a little problem. 426 00:16:57,196 --> 00:16:59,013 Let's just think of a solution. 427 00:16:59,014 --> 00:17:00,982 Lily, it's over. 428 00:17:00,983 --> 00:17:02,650 The good guys lost. 429 00:17:02,651 --> 00:17:05,319 I don't know, homegirl is pretty diabolical. 430 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:08,389 If there is a plan that'll get us out of this, 431 00:17:08,390 --> 00:17:11,492 it's somewhere inside this butter churn. 432 00:17:11,493 --> 00:17:13,628 She'll think of it. 433 00:17:13,629 --> 00:17:16,430 I'm just gonna sit here... 434 00:17:16,431 --> 00:17:18,382 and watch it happen. 435 00:17:20,769 --> 00:17:22,470 And she's got it! 436 00:17:22,471 --> 00:17:24,055 Lily, what's the plan? 437 00:17:24,056 --> 00:17:26,707 (groans) Oh, this ought to be good. 438 00:17:26,708 --> 00:17:28,843 And then Lily told us her plan. 439 00:17:28,844 --> 00:17:31,846 Oh, this is good! 440 00:17:31,847 --> 00:17:33,781 We have to find Arthur right now. 441 00:17:33,782 --> 00:17:35,516 (shudders) 442 00:17:36,268 --> 00:17:38,352 What is so difficult about this?! 443 00:17:38,353 --> 00:17:40,054 Tugboat figured this out in, like, five minutes. 444 00:17:40,055 --> 00:17:41,789 This is bush league! 445 00:17:41,790 --> 00:17:43,057 BARNEY: Hey, Arthur! 446 00:17:43,058 --> 00:17:45,059 Oh, cute dog! 447 00:17:45,060 --> 00:17:47,862 No! Tugboat, my other dog, that was a cute dog. 448 00:17:47,863 --> 00:17:51,365 This little disappointment is nothing but a cheap facsimile. 449 00:17:51,366 --> 00:17:52,633 I said it! 450 00:17:52,634 --> 00:17:54,235 Yeah, my love is reserved for dogs 451 00:17:54,236 --> 00:17:56,103 that go to the bathroom on command 452 00:17:56,104 --> 00:17:58,105 instead of wasting my time! 453 00:17:58,106 --> 00:18:00,942 BARNEY: Listen, Arthur, Marshall's wife 454 00:18:00,943 --> 00:18:04,779 has an idea for how we can save not saving The Arcadian. 455 00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:06,130 Oh, his wife has an idea. 456 00:18:06,131 --> 00:18:07,715 Let me tell you about wives, okay? 457 00:18:07,716 --> 00:18:10,134 They leave you and take your best friend with them. 458 00:18:10,135 --> 00:18:11,385 You're not Tugboat! 459 00:18:11,386 --> 00:18:13,955 You'll never be Tugboat! 460 00:18:15,023 --> 00:18:18,059 (stammers, pants): Uh... 461 00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:19,426 Hey, Arthur? 462 00:18:27,035 --> 00:18:30,621 I guess this one's kind of cute or whatever. 463 00:18:31,673 --> 00:18:34,575 So... so what's the idea? 464 00:18:34,576 --> 00:18:37,545 Okay, first hear my demands. One, 465 00:18:37,546 --> 00:18:39,947 Ted and Barney keep their jobs. 466 00:18:39,948 --> 00:18:42,650 Two, when you guys do finally blow up The Arcadian, 467 00:18:42,651 --> 00:18:44,752 one of them gets to push the button. 468 00:18:44,753 --> 00:18:46,754 Dibs. Dibs. 469 00:18:46,755 --> 00:18:48,673 Fine! What's the idea? 470 00:18:48,674 --> 00:18:50,524 Well... Kids, for legal reasons, 471 00:18:50,525 --> 00:18:52,560 I have to skip this part of the story 472 00:18:52,561 --> 00:18:54,295 and jump ahead to the next night, 473 00:18:54,296 --> 00:18:55,796 as the Landmarks Preservation Commission 474 00:18:55,797 --> 00:18:57,031 gave their verdict. 475 00:18:57,032 --> 00:18:58,032 Last night, 476 00:18:58,033 --> 00:18:59,700 this committee took a vote, 477 00:18:59,701 --> 00:19:03,337 and while we have all felt from the very beginning that 478 00:19:03,338 --> 00:19:04,705 The Arcadian is, 479 00:19:04,706 --> 00:19:07,341 (chuckles): well, an eyesore... 480 00:19:07,342 --> 00:19:10,544 Mr. Mosby's surprising testimony 481 00:19:10,545 --> 00:19:12,613 about the lion's head stonework 482 00:19:12,614 --> 00:19:15,549 left us no choice but to declare it... 483 00:19:15,550 --> 00:19:17,284 a landmark. 484 00:19:18,887 --> 00:19:20,955 (gavel pounding) 485 00:19:20,956 --> 00:19:24,759 But then, something else happened last night. 486 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,794 That same lion's head 487 00:19:26,795 --> 00:19:27,995 stonework... 488 00:19:27,996 --> 00:19:30,898 (electric tool whirring) 489 00:19:30,899 --> 00:19:31,866 ...disappeared. 490 00:19:31,867 --> 00:19:34,435 (audience gasps) So... 491 00:19:34,436 --> 00:19:37,138 that makes our job a little easier. 492 00:19:37,139 --> 00:19:38,839 Motion denied. 493 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:40,107 (gavel pounds) 494 00:19:40,108 --> 00:19:43,711 (preservationists groan, GNB people applaud and cheer) 495 00:19:48,583 --> 00:19:49,617 Zoey... 496 00:19:49,618 --> 00:19:50,851 Zoey! 497 00:19:51,870 --> 00:19:54,622 All right, what do you have to say for yourself? 498 00:19:54,623 --> 00:19:56,223 (sighs) 499 00:19:56,224 --> 00:19:57,625 I don't know. 500 00:19:57,626 --> 00:20:01,062 Sometimes... things have to fall apart 501 00:20:01,063 --> 00:20:04,265 to make way for better things. 502 00:20:13,575 --> 00:20:14,909 We're done here. 503 00:20:14,910 --> 00:20:18,610 == sync, corrected by elderman ==