1 00:00:02,011 --> 00:00:04,879 Kids, 2012 started out kind of crazy. 2 00:00:05,543 --> 00:00:07,477 Barney met a girl named Quinn, 3 00:00:07,479 --> 00:00:09,462 Kevin unproposed to Robin, 4 00:00:09,464 --> 00:00:10,730 I told Robin... 5 00:00:10,732 --> 00:00:12,098 I love you, Robin. 6 00:00:12,100 --> 00:00:12,932 When I asked if she 7 00:00:12,934 --> 00:00:14,851 loved me back, she said... 8 00:00:14,853 --> 00:00:16,569 No. 9 00:00:16,571 --> 00:00:17,720 Marshall told Robin... 10 00:00:17,722 --> 00:00:19,689 You got to move out. 11 00:00:19,691 --> 00:00:22,809 And Robin did. 12 00:00:29,917 --> 00:00:32,802 I can't even open her bedroom door anymore. 13 00:00:33,537 --> 00:00:35,505 Why do I have to be so sensitive? 14 00:00:35,507 --> 00:00:37,790 I don't know, bro. 15 00:00:37,792 --> 00:00:39,008 Look at me and that Quinn chick. 16 00:00:39,010 --> 00:00:40,293 You don't hear me prattling on 17 00:00:40,295 --> 00:00:42,512 about how beautiful her smile is, 18 00:00:42,514 --> 00:00:46,549 how her hair is like a waterfall of honey-colored silk, 19 00:00:46,551 --> 00:00:49,969 how her eyes are like a warm South Sea 20 00:00:49,971 --> 00:00:53,255 kissed by the fire and gold of sunrise. 21 00:00:53,257 --> 00:00:55,257 I don't even remember what she looks like. 22 00:00:55,259 --> 00:00:57,259 Dude, you obviously like her. Can't you read 23 00:00:57,261 --> 00:00:58,444 between the lines, Ted? 24 00:00:58,446 --> 00:00:59,779 I obviously like her. 25 00:00:59,781 --> 00:01:01,364 How did this happen to me? 26 00:01:01,366 --> 00:01:04,600 When did I become such a gooey romantic? 27 00:01:06,069 --> 00:01:07,487 Look, I think it's healthy 28 00:01:07,489 --> 00:01:10,239 that you have real feelings for a woman 29 00:01:10,241 --> 00:01:12,241 instead of just seeing her as an object. 30 00:01:12,243 --> 00:01:13,576 Switch? 31 00:01:13,578 --> 00:01:14,293 Sure. 32 00:01:15,713 --> 00:01:16,746 But why Quinn? 33 00:01:16,748 --> 00:01:18,280 I mean, you spent one night with her, 34 00:01:18,282 --> 00:01:19,448 and she was kind of mean. 35 00:01:19,450 --> 00:01:20,833 We just connected. 36 00:01:20,835 --> 00:01:23,786 Emotionally, intellectually, spiritually. 37 00:01:23,788 --> 00:01:24,754 So, mind-blowing sex? 38 00:01:24,756 --> 00:01:27,557 Mind-blowing sex! 39 00:01:27,559 --> 00:01:31,227 For an hour afterwards, I couldn't uncross my eyes. 40 00:01:31,229 --> 00:01:33,980 Which was awesome, because when I went back for seconds, 41 00:01:33,982 --> 00:01:36,315 it was like having a three-way with twins. 42 00:01:36,317 --> 00:01:38,401 So... call her. 43 00:01:38,403 --> 00:01:40,636 I would if I knew how to get in touch with her, 44 00:01:40,638 --> 00:01:42,572 but I can't, and it's driving me crazy. 45 00:01:42,574 --> 00:01:43,773 Everywhere I look, I see her. 46 00:01:43,775 --> 00:01:45,191 I see her walking on the street; 47 00:01:45,193 --> 00:01:47,810 I see her shopping in the store; 48 00:01:47,812 --> 00:01:49,829 I see her dancing on that pole. 49 00:01:49,831 --> 00:01:51,914 I see her dancing on that pole, too. 50 00:01:51,916 --> 00:01:54,250 Oh, my God, that's Quinn. 51 00:01:54,252 --> 00:01:57,436 Gentlemen, give it up for Karma. 52 00:01:58,497 --> 00:02:02,497 ? How I Met Your Mother 7x18 ? Karma Original Air Date on February 27, 2012 53 00:02:02,498 --> 00:02:06,498 == sync, corrected by elderman == 54 00:02:11,435 --> 00:02:13,052 I really appreciate you guys taking me in. 55 00:02:13,054 --> 00:02:14,103 I mean, 56 00:02:14,105 --> 00:02:15,605 I'm homeless, 57 00:02:15,607 --> 00:02:17,857 things between me and Ted are still kind of weird. 58 00:02:17,859 --> 00:02:20,142 So, it's nice to be around friends. 59 00:02:20,144 --> 00:02:21,978 Well, stay as long as you want, sweetie. 60 00:02:21,980 --> 00:02:23,178 Oh, thank you. 61 00:02:23,180 --> 00:02:24,530 Mm. 62 00:02:24,532 --> 00:02:26,699 Now, I got you a journal. 63 00:02:26,701 --> 00:02:27,950 I know this sounds lame, 64 00:02:27,952 --> 00:02:30,620 but it really helps work through stuff to write about it. 65 00:02:30,622 --> 00:02:31,954 Oh. 66 00:02:31,956 --> 00:02:34,690 "Dear Diary. The fantasies of killing Marshall's mom 67 00:02:34,692 --> 00:02:35,875 "have become more vivid. 68 00:02:35,877 --> 00:02:37,860 Today, I scalped her with a .."" Whoops, 69 00:02:37,862 --> 00:02:39,662 that one's mine. 70 00:02:40,747 --> 00:02:42,630 You are going to have so much fun here. 71 00:02:42,634 --> 00:02:45,468 Oh, guys, please, do not feel like you have to keep me entertained. 72 00:02:45,803 --> 00:02:47,703 Well, you shouldn't have come to East Meadow, Long Island, 73 00:02:47,705 --> 00:02:49,505 Robin, if you didn't want to be entertained. 74 00:02:49,507 --> 00:02:51,807 Really? I didn't think there was a ton to do here. 75 00:02:51,809 --> 00:02:54,143 Oh, apparently, someone hasn't heard 76 00:02:54,145 --> 00:02:56,262 of the Uniondale Miniatures Museum. 77 00:02:56,264 --> 00:02:58,481 You'll come for the 19th century thimble art, 78 00:02:58,483 --> 00:03:02,068 but you'll stay for the Dutch masters on bottle caps. 79 00:03:02,070 --> 00:03:02,935 Plus, 80 00:03:02,937 --> 00:03:04,103 you'll be bowling with two 81 00:03:04,105 --> 00:03:07,440 charter members of the East Meadow Alley Cats. 82 00:03:08,108 --> 00:03:09,158 "We're a hot dog eating team 83 00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:10,860 with a bowling problem." 84 00:03:10,862 --> 00:03:11,861 Shirley 85 00:03:11,863 --> 00:03:13,395 came up with that one. 86 00:03:13,397 --> 00:03:14,447 Great bowler, Shirley. 87 00:03:14,449 --> 00:03:16,449 She hit 280 the other day. 88 00:03:16,451 --> 00:03:20,052 Unfortunately, that was on her bathroom scale. 89 00:03:20,837 --> 00:03:22,121 When Robin moved out, 90 00:03:22,123 --> 00:03:23,906 there was a hole in my life 91 00:03:23,908 --> 00:03:25,791 in the shape of an empty bedroom. 92 00:03:25,793 --> 00:03:28,410 I filled it with a new hobby. 93 00:03:31,582 --> 00:03:33,299 What are you doing in my old room? 94 00:03:33,301 --> 00:03:35,134 This room being empty was bumming me out, 95 00:03:35,136 --> 00:03:36,852 so I decided to do something healthy 96 00:03:36,854 --> 00:03:38,304 that would take my mind off you. 97 00:03:38,306 --> 00:03:39,755 Well, nothing says healthy 98 00:03:39,757 --> 00:03:41,891 like smoking 40 pounds of pork loin 99 00:03:41,893 --> 00:03:43,225 in an unventilated room 100 00:03:43,227 --> 00:03:45,728 while having an imaginary conversation with your ex. 101 00:03:45,730 --> 00:03:48,030 Just for that, you're not getting any. 102 00:03:48,032 --> 00:03:49,231 I'm not getting any? 103 00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:51,100 You're the one smoking your own meat. 104 00:03:51,102 --> 00:03:52,151 Oh! 105 00:03:53,988 --> 00:03:56,706 What am I gonna do about this Quinn thing? 106 00:03:56,708 --> 00:03:58,107 I want to ask her out again, 107 00:03:58,109 --> 00:04:00,209 but I don't know how I feel about her being a stripper. 108 00:04:00,211 --> 00:04:02,828 Why would you have an issue with that? 109 00:04:02,830 --> 00:04:05,464 I mean, you've dated convicted felons, arms dealers... 110 00:04:05,466 --> 00:04:07,049 pageant moms. 111 00:04:07,051 --> 00:04:11,003 Hey, Quinn is someone I might want to get serious with, 112 00:04:11,005 --> 00:04:15,474 not just pretend to be a judge 113 00:04:15,476 --> 00:04:18,728 Tiffany's mom really wanted that tiara. 114 00:04:18,730 --> 00:04:21,797 In a city of eight million people, 115 00:04:21,799 --> 00:04:24,900 you happened to walk into the club where she works? 116 00:04:24,902 --> 00:04:25,935 Maybe it's destiny. 117 00:04:25,937 --> 00:04:28,321 No, Destiny strips at The Melon Patch. 118 00:04:28,323 --> 00:04:30,923 They're people, Ted; try to keep them straight. 119 00:04:31,658 --> 00:04:33,592 Wait a minute. 120 00:04:33,594 --> 00:04:36,779 What if this is destiny? 121 00:04:36,781 --> 00:04:37,663 I just said... 122 00:04:37,665 --> 00:04:39,281 What if the universe 123 00:04:39,283 --> 00:04:42,335 is throwing us in each other's path for some reason? 124 00:04:42,337 --> 00:04:43,536 More or less exactly what I... 125 00:04:43,538 --> 00:04:46,321 I don't care what you say, this is destiny! 126 00:04:46,323 --> 00:04:47,373 Damn it, Ted! 127 00:04:47,375 --> 00:04:49,625 Why can't you ever root for love? 128 00:04:55,515 --> 00:04:56,498 Hey. 129 00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,134 Hey. 130 00:04:58,136 --> 00:04:59,268 Quinn... 131 00:04:59,270 --> 00:05:00,436 No, listen, 132 00:05:00,438 --> 00:05:02,405 in here I'm Karma, okay? 133 00:05:02,407 --> 00:05:03,505 Got it. 134 00:05:03,507 --> 00:05:04,807 Uh, look, Karma, 135 00:05:04,809 --> 00:05:05,808 I swear 136 00:05:05,810 --> 00:05:07,993 I never say crap like this, but... 137 00:05:07,995 --> 00:05:09,195 I think maybe the universe 138 00:05:09,197 --> 00:05:11,580 is telling us something. 139 00:05:11,582 --> 00:05:13,182 You want to go out again? 140 00:05:13,184 --> 00:05:15,568 I'm sorry, I don't date customers. 141 00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:16,869 What about destiny? 142 00:05:16,871 --> 00:05:18,788 I heard she's over at The Melon Patch now. 143 00:05:18,790 --> 00:05:22,491 No, I mean like fate telling us that we're supposed to be... 144 00:05:22,493 --> 00:05:23,659 Oh, listen, Barney, 145 00:05:23,661 --> 00:05:25,911 my manager is really giving me the stink eye. 146 00:05:25,913 --> 00:05:27,797 I have to get back to work. 147 00:05:27,799 --> 00:05:28,831 Okay, wait, wait. 148 00:05:28,833 --> 00:05:30,549 What if I pay for a dance? 149 00:05:30,551 --> 00:05:31,500 That way, 150 00:05:31,502 --> 00:05:32,585 your manager's happy, 151 00:05:32,587 --> 00:05:33,919 and then I can to tell you 152 00:05:33,921 --> 00:05:35,704 why you should go on another date with me. 153 00:05:35,706 --> 00:05:38,474 I guess there's no reason why not. 154 00:05:38,476 --> 00:05:41,210 Okay, first off, we have a lot in common. 155 00:05:41,212 --> 00:05:42,595 For example, 156 00:05:42,597 --> 00:05:44,713 both of our jobs are largely financed 157 00:05:44,715 --> 00:05:47,900 by drunk Asian businessmen. 158 00:05:47,902 --> 00:05:49,769 Dear Diary. 159 00:05:49,771 --> 00:05:51,771 It is day four on this island, 160 00:05:51,773 --> 00:05:54,106 which the natives have dubbed "Long Island," 161 00:05:54,108 --> 00:05:55,574 perhaps referencing 162 00:05:55,576 --> 00:05:58,411 how each hour here feels like it may never end. 163 00:05:58,413 --> 00:06:00,696 So far, they have welcomed me 164 00:06:00,698 --> 00:06:04,733 and given me a rare glimpse into their bizarre way of life. 165 00:06:04,735 --> 00:06:07,903 By "entertainment," they mean table shuffle board, 166 00:06:07,905 --> 00:06:12,007 macramé classes, and other non-stimulating activities 167 00:06:12,009 --> 00:06:13,793 which are only used in Manhattan 168 00:06:13,795 --> 00:06:17,263 to calm down drug addicts and the criminally insane. 169 00:06:17,265 --> 00:06:21,033 A preliterate society, their menus display pictures 170 00:06:21,035 --> 00:06:23,252 of the food they offer, 171 00:06:23,254 --> 00:06:25,521 everyone is forced to sing "Happy Birthday" 172 00:06:25,523 --> 00:06:28,090 four or five times a meal, 173 00:06:28,092 --> 00:06:31,977 and dessert has fireworks in it. 174 00:06:31,979 --> 00:06:35,114 In their lairs, they often don a primitive shroud 175 00:06:35,116 --> 00:06:38,818 called a "Snugget," and it is not uncommon for them 176 00:06:38,820 --> 00:06:40,936 to go to sleep before 9 p.m., 177 00:06:40,938 --> 00:06:42,771 fearing, as they do, 178 00:06:42,773 --> 00:06:44,406 the night. 179 00:06:45,459 --> 00:06:47,526 Also Diary, I think writing in you is stupid, 180 00:06:47,528 --> 00:06:48,794 but you were a gift from Lily, 181 00:06:48,796 --> 00:06:50,329 and she's watching me right now. 182 00:06:50,331 --> 00:06:53,883 Guys, um, I don't want to overstay my welcome, 183 00:06:53,885 --> 00:06:56,618 and Patrice said that she would take me off your hands. 184 00:06:56,620 --> 00:06:59,638 So, do you have a train schedule or... 185 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:00,890 Oh, yeah, 186 00:07:00,892 --> 00:07:01,891 um, but-but 187 00:07:01,893 --> 00:07:04,727 there's a-a problem with the train. 188 00:07:04,729 --> 00:07:06,428 Big, big problem. 189 00:07:06,430 --> 00:07:07,329 There was a... 190 00:07:07,331 --> 00:07:09,598 Strike. A lightning strike. 191 00:07:09,600 --> 00:07:12,801 That hit one of the picketers who was on strike. 192 00:07:12,803 --> 00:07:14,937 During a thunderstorm. 193 00:07:14,939 --> 00:07:18,941 Plus, 194 00:07:18,943 --> 00:07:22,077 Yeah, she probably doesn't even want you there. 195 00:07:26,082 --> 00:07:27,500 You guys are being weird. 196 00:07:28,034 --> 00:07:30,669 Oh! Oh! 197 00:07:30,671 --> 00:07:33,322 Oh, my God, Robin, I am so sorry. 198 00:07:33,324 --> 00:07:34,924 I'll throw these in the wash. 199 00:07:34,926 --> 00:07:37,843 They'll be dry and folded in the morning. 200 00:07:37,845 --> 00:07:39,328 Or the weekend. 201 00:07:39,330 --> 00:07:40,996 And we can talk about you leaving then. 202 00:07:40,998 --> 00:07:42,348 Or never. 203 00:07:42,350 --> 00:07:44,850 Wait, Lily, why don't... 204 00:07:44,852 --> 00:07:46,852 It's 8:45, time to hit the hay. 205 00:07:46,854 --> 00:07:48,938 Good night! 206 00:07:54,811 --> 00:07:56,645 So Ted, what healthy, 207 00:07:56,647 --> 00:07:59,181 not-at-all-crazy activity are you up to now? 208 00:07:59,183 --> 00:08:02,851 I liked smoking meat, but now I've got a new passion: 209 00:08:02,853 --> 00:08:04,453 wood. 210 00:08:04,455 --> 00:08:07,489 You hear these things that come out of your mouth, right? 211 00:08:13,129 --> 00:08:15,197 So I went back to the Lusty Leopard. 212 00:08:15,199 --> 00:08:16,715 You know what, Barney? 213 00:08:16,717 --> 00:08:19,752 I know I said I have a rule about not dating customers, 214 00:08:19,754 --> 00:08:23,656 but you may have convinced me to... 215 00:08:23,658 --> 00:08:25,207 Oh. 216 00:08:25,209 --> 00:08:26,642 Song's over, I got to go. 217 00:08:26,644 --> 00:08:28,877 Wait, no, what? Convinced you to what? 218 00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:31,847 I'm sorry, but manager's giving me the stink eye. 219 00:08:31,849 --> 00:08:34,149 Ugh, get a life, Manager. 220 00:08:35,185 --> 00:08:36,718 What were you saying? 221 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:39,138 Well, I was going to say 222 00:08:39,140 --> 00:08:42,825 that I do find you very... charming. 223 00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,361 And funny... 224 00:08:45,363 --> 00:08:46,812 and sexy. 225 00:08:46,814 --> 00:08:49,665 And exciting and smart. 226 00:08:49,667 --> 00:08:52,001 You so get me. 227 00:08:52,003 --> 00:08:53,702 You know what, Barney? 228 00:08:53,704 --> 00:08:56,205 I have never done this before, 229 00:08:56,207 --> 00:08:59,908 but there's just something about you. 230 00:08:59,910 --> 00:09:01,594 So I guess my answer is... 231 00:09:01,596 --> 00:09:03,128 Oh. 232 00:09:03,130 --> 00:09:04,129 The song's over. 233 00:09:04,131 --> 00:09:05,848 Well, just finish the thought! 234 00:09:05,850 --> 00:09:07,383 But the manager. God, 235 00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:08,384 I hate manager. 236 00:09:10,321 --> 00:09:12,688 There. Your answer is... 237 00:09:12,690 --> 00:09:15,107 Maybe if we knew each other a little better. 238 00:09:16,093 --> 00:09:17,109 Tell me about yourself. 239 00:09:17,111 --> 00:09:19,111 Well, um, what can I tell you? 240 00:09:19,113 --> 00:09:20,112 I'm, um... 241 00:09:20,114 --> 00:09:22,281 charming and funny 242 00:09:22,283 --> 00:09:24,900 and sexy and... 243 00:09:24,902 --> 00:09:28,454 exciting and smart. 244 00:09:28,456 --> 00:09:30,456 Well, how can a girl say no to that? 245 00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:32,825 How about we... 246 00:09:32,827 --> 00:09:34,793 go out on... 247 00:09:34,795 --> 00:09:38,580 aaaaaaaaa... 248 00:09:38,582 --> 00:09:40,416 aaaaaa... 249 00:09:40,418 --> 00:09:42,134 Ugh, these songs are so short. 250 00:09:45,071 --> 00:09:48,590 Uh, how much exactly did you give Quinn? 251 00:09:48,592 --> 00:09:50,059 Eight, nine hundred bucks, 252 00:09:50,061 --> 00:09:52,895 plus whatever my Rolex is worth. 253 00:09:52,897 --> 00:09:54,063 Whoa. 254 00:09:54,065 --> 00:09:55,097 I know. 255 00:09:55,099 --> 00:09:58,133 Ted, I think I'm in love. 256 00:10:05,785 --> 00:10:07,403 Quinn is totally playing you. 257 00:10:07,405 --> 00:10:08,370 What? 258 00:10:08,372 --> 00:10:09,855 That's ridiculous. 259 00:10:09,857 --> 00:10:11,090 If she were playing me, 260 00:10:11,092 --> 00:10:13,075 why would she agree to go on a date with me? 261 00:10:13,077 --> 00:10:15,494 You're different than the rest of these schlubs. 262 00:10:15,496 --> 00:10:18,997 This one time only, I'm going to break my rule. 263 00:10:18,999 --> 00:10:20,863 Let's go out tomorrow night. 264 00:10:20,888 --> 00:10:22,088 Sweet! 265 00:10:22,146 --> 00:10:25,508 Oh, shoot! I have to work tomorrow. Ugh! 266 00:10:25,995 --> 00:10:28,026 Hey! Brainstorm! 267 00:10:28,051 --> 00:10:29,796 What if we just have our date here, 268 00:10:30,488 --> 00:10:31,860 It's a date. 269 00:10:32,311 --> 00:10:36,162 It's not a date, if you go into a strip club and paying for lap dances. 270 00:10:36,163 --> 00:10:39,071 If it's not a date, why'd she say, every fifth day was free? 271 00:10:39,103 --> 00:10:40,886 Because that's the Lusty Leopard's policy 272 00:10:40,888 --> 00:10:43,555 on Friday nights, and I'm so mad at you that I know that! 273 00:10:43,557 --> 00:10:47,242 Dear Diary. 274 00:10:47,244 --> 00:10:49,161 It is day six on this island, 275 00:10:49,163 --> 00:10:52,881 and I begin to fear I am more captive than guest... 276 00:10:54,785 --> 00:10:56,168 Morning, sweetie. 277 00:10:56,170 --> 00:10:58,170 Up for croquet? 278 00:10:59,205 --> 00:11:01,573 Hey, uh, Lil, are you done 279 00:11:01,575 --> 00:11:03,709 washing my clothes yet? Because I... 280 00:11:03,711 --> 00:11:04,927 Oh, I am so sorry. 281 00:11:04,929 --> 00:11:07,012 Your clothes accidentally wound up in the bag 282 00:11:07,014 --> 00:11:09,064 I donated to Goodwill. 283 00:11:09,799 --> 00:11:11,249 You gave away my clothes? 284 00:11:11,251 --> 00:11:14,219 They were a bit fancy for East Meadow. 285 00:11:14,221 --> 00:11:16,388 People were staring. 286 00:11:16,390 --> 00:11:19,975 Besides, we have an extra Snugget. 287 00:11:21,094 --> 00:11:22,644 Try it. 288 00:11:23,930 --> 00:11:25,814 Try it, Robin. 289 00:11:27,734 --> 00:11:29,735 They're trying to make me one of them, Diary. 290 00:11:29,737 --> 00:11:32,654 And I begin to fear... 291 00:11:32,656 --> 00:11:35,040 I may like it! 292 00:11:37,627 --> 00:11:39,628 I can't believe we're at a strip club, 293 00:11:39,630 --> 00:11:41,930 and the biggest boob in here is you. 294 00:11:41,932 --> 00:11:44,299 It's a real date, Ted. 295 00:11:44,301 --> 00:11:47,302 And clearly you haven't seen the DeSalvo twins. 296 00:11:47,304 --> 00:11:48,554 She's right over there. 297 00:11:48,556 --> 00:11:50,639 Barney... Yowza! 298 00:11:50,641 --> 00:11:53,291 You are not on a date. 299 00:11:53,293 --> 00:11:54,610 Okay, look, prove it. 300 00:11:54,612 --> 00:11:57,179 Prove that she's not just taking advantage of you. 301 00:11:57,181 --> 00:11:59,598 Get her to go out with you anywhere but here. 302 00:11:59,600 --> 00:12:00,849 Fine! 303 00:12:00,851 --> 00:12:03,318 Hey, sexy! You want a dance? 304 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:04,653 Yeah! 305 00:12:04,655 --> 00:12:06,155 Uh, one thing, though. 306 00:12:06,157 --> 00:12:08,490 Um, you'd be okay with us having a date 307 00:12:08,492 --> 00:12:10,308 somewhere besides here, wouldn't you? 308 00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:12,861 I was hoping you would ask that. 309 00:12:12,863 --> 00:12:15,581 I'm sorry it's so expensive in here, 310 00:12:15,583 --> 00:12:17,699 but it's nice and private, huh? 311 00:12:17,701 --> 00:12:19,168 Absolutely. And romantic! 312 00:12:19,170 --> 00:12:21,286 It's our first getaway as a couple! 313 00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:23,989 It's become clear to me, Diary, 314 00:12:23,991 --> 00:12:25,874 that I must attempt a dramatic escape. 315 00:12:25,876 --> 00:12:29,094 I will fake a stomach ache during dinner. 316 00:12:29,096 --> 00:12:31,296 Then, after Marshall and Lily leave for bingo night, 317 00:12:31,298 --> 00:12:33,432 I will sneak out the back. 318 00:12:33,434 --> 00:12:36,301 I'll swipe Shirley's Rascal and drive to the train station. 319 00:12:36,303 --> 00:12:38,336 Shirley's 42, by the way, and rides a Rascal. 320 00:12:38,338 --> 00:12:42,191 I swear, it's the second half of Wall-E out here. 321 00:12:44,344 --> 00:12:46,028 Bingo... 322 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,865 was canceled. 323 00:12:53,570 --> 00:12:56,505 Hey, sexy, you want a dance? 324 00:12:56,507 --> 00:12:58,874 No, I'm not a customer. 325 00:12:58,876 --> 00:13:00,358 My girlfriend works here. 326 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:03,161 She's right over... 327 00:13:03,163 --> 00:13:05,631 This one time only, I'm gonna break my rule. 328 00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:07,082 Let's go out tomorrow night! 329 00:13:07,084 --> 00:13:08,033 Sweet! 330 00:13:08,035 --> 00:13:09,318 Oh, shoot! 331 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:12,437 I have to work tomorrow. Ugh! 332 00:13:12,439 --> 00:13:13,672 Hey! Brainstorm! 333 00:13:13,674 --> 00:13:15,591 What if we just have our date here, 334 00:13:15,593 --> 00:13:19,044 maybe in the Champagne Room? 335 00:13:21,213 --> 00:13:23,749 That was our spot. 336 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,426 Hey, gorgeous, You want a dance? 337 00:13:31,428 --> 00:13:32,862 Is it a jig? 338 00:13:32,864 --> 00:13:34,964 'Cause if so, it's up. 339 00:13:35,632 --> 00:13:37,199 Sorry, I only had the last verse 340 00:13:37,201 --> 00:13:39,702 of "Hot For Teacher" to work on that. What was that? 341 00:13:39,704 --> 00:13:43,605 You laid exactly the same line on that guy that you did on me! 342 00:13:43,607 --> 00:13:44,623 Sweetie, that is just something 343 00:13:44,625 --> 00:13:47,293 I say to these gullible losers here. 344 00:13:47,295 --> 00:13:48,911 They fall for it every time. 345 00:13:48,913 --> 00:13:52,715 Bunch of losers! 346 00:13:52,717 --> 00:13:54,717 Oh, gosh, manager again. 347 00:13:54,719 --> 00:13:55,918 He's looking at me like, 348 00:13:55,920 --> 00:13:57,670 "Karma, why aren't you booking more time 349 00:13:57,672 --> 00:13:58,837 in the Champagne Room?" 350 00:13:58,839 --> 00:14:01,173 Well, we'll show him. 351 00:14:01,175 --> 00:14:03,792 No! You're playing me again! 352 00:14:03,794 --> 00:14:06,345 And you're not even trying hard! 353 00:14:06,347 --> 00:14:08,147 There's no manager there; You're pointing at a fern! 354 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,600 Ted was right. 355 00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:14,453 I bet he's home right now, laughing at how dumb I am. 356 00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:22,611 Did I deserve this? Absolutely. 357 00:14:22,613 --> 00:14:25,614 I have told some outrageous lies. 358 00:14:25,616 --> 00:14:27,967 I have told women I was famous, 359 00:14:27,969 --> 00:14:29,335 a war hero, 360 00:14:29,337 --> 00:14:31,820 that sex with me would cure their nearsightedness. 361 00:14:31,822 --> 00:14:33,455 Barney?! 362 00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:38,761 I probably deserved everything you did to me and more. 363 00:14:38,763 --> 00:14:40,429 But I have been trying, 364 00:14:40,431 --> 00:14:43,415 and trying hard to be a better person. 365 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:45,184 Thanks for showing me 366 00:14:45,186 --> 00:14:46,735 I had it right before. 367 00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:58,063 Look, I'm sorry we made you feel a little suffocated, 368 00:14:58,065 --> 00:15:01,450 but were you really just gonna sneak away? 369 00:15:01,452 --> 00:15:04,370 Well, it's just... I really miss the city. 370 00:15:04,372 --> 00:15:06,705 I know you guys love it here, and that's fine, 371 00:15:06,707 --> 00:15:08,023 We don't love it here! 372 00:15:08,025 --> 00:15:08,690 What? 373 00:15:08,692 --> 00:15:09,858 Come on, Robin, 374 00:15:09,860 --> 00:15:11,877 what kind of life is this? 375 00:15:11,879 --> 00:15:13,462 Going to canasta tournaments 376 00:15:13,464 --> 00:15:15,164 and high school field hockey playoffs? 377 00:15:15,166 --> 00:15:17,750 Oh, I think North Bellmore can take state. 378 00:15:17,752 --> 00:15:19,752 With Sophie's ankle? Doubtful. 379 00:15:19,754 --> 00:15:21,887 Okay, but if you two are so unhappy, 380 00:15:21,889 --> 00:15:23,889 why don't you just move back to Manhattan? 381 00:15:23,891 --> 00:15:26,592 Because the suburbs are better for the baby. 382 00:15:26,594 --> 00:15:29,728 Who says? Who says any place is better for the baby 383 00:15:29,730 --> 00:15:31,930 if you two are unhappy in it? 384 00:15:33,883 --> 00:15:36,385 No, no, we live here now. 385 00:15:37,053 --> 00:15:38,771 And, you know, this place 386 00:15:38,773 --> 00:15:40,239 wouldn't seem so bad if... 387 00:15:40,241 --> 00:15:43,125 we got one of our friends to move out here. 388 00:15:43,777 --> 00:15:45,560 Oh, guys... 389 00:15:45,562 --> 00:15:48,530 Oh... 390 00:15:48,532 --> 00:15:51,266 I would rather set myself on fire. 391 00:15:52,585 --> 00:15:55,570 The next morning, Barney learned that even in 392 00:15:55,572 --> 00:15:58,874 a city of eight million people, there's no escaping Karma. 393 00:16:06,083 --> 00:16:07,099 Oh. 394 00:16:07,101 --> 00:16:08,767 Oh, hey. 395 00:16:08,769 --> 00:16:11,553 Sorry, can't talk; manager's watching. 396 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:14,523 Look, I am sorry 397 00:16:14,525 --> 00:16:16,442 if I hurt your feelings; it's a job. 398 00:16:16,444 --> 00:16:17,810 Yeah, well, at my job, 399 00:16:17,812 --> 00:16:19,728 we don't rip out people's hearts for money. 400 00:16:19,730 --> 00:16:24,316 My company briefly backed a lab in North Korea 401 00:16:24,318 --> 00:16:26,402 which did, but we sold it! 402 00:16:26,404 --> 00:16:28,320 You know, I've worked at that club for a year. 403 00:16:28,322 --> 00:16:29,705 You practically live there, 404 00:16:29,707 --> 00:16:31,657 and you didn't even recognize me the night we went out. 405 00:16:31,659 --> 00:16:34,776 You can't pretend to be some hurt little victim with me. 406 00:16:34,778 --> 00:16:35,828 I know you. 407 00:16:35,830 --> 00:16:37,046 Well, of course you do. 408 00:16:37,048 --> 00:16:38,613 I told you things I don't tell anybody. 409 00:16:38,615 --> 00:16:39,798 I was honest with you. 410 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,917 Yeah, because I believe you have a gay black brother, 411 00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:43,635 a friend lonely enough to smoke his own meat 412 00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:45,471 and that your mom was a groupie for Supertramp. 413 00:16:45,473 --> 00:16:48,507 They named their band for her! 414 00:16:50,844 --> 00:16:52,627 You remembered all that? 415 00:16:52,629 --> 00:16:55,013 Well, yeah. I mean, 416 00:16:55,015 --> 00:16:56,298 you're more interesting than the lyrics 417 00:16:56,300 --> 00:16:58,934 to "Pour Some Sugar On Me" for the 8,000th time. 418 00:17:00,937 --> 00:17:02,521 You know, it's funny. 419 00:17:02,523 --> 00:17:05,691 Almost every woman I've ever met was wrong 420 00:17:05,693 --> 00:17:07,309 to give me a chance. 421 00:17:07,311 --> 00:17:10,462 You're the first woman who's wrong not to. 422 00:17:13,816 --> 00:17:15,117 Large black coffee... 423 00:17:15,119 --> 00:17:18,153 and whatever he's having. 424 00:17:18,155 --> 00:17:19,755 It's on me. 425 00:17:20,656 --> 00:17:23,008 The same. 426 00:17:23,010 --> 00:17:24,426 Thank you. 427 00:17:24,428 --> 00:17:26,845 You're welcome. 428 00:17:26,847 --> 00:17:29,848 1,700 more of these and we're even. 429 00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:31,833 Uh, the song just ended. 430 00:17:31,835 --> 00:17:33,668 That mean you got to get going? 431 00:17:33,670 --> 00:17:35,971 No. 432 00:17:35,973 --> 00:17:38,023 Do you have time to sit with me? 433 00:17:38,025 --> 00:17:40,793 I don't know. You're wearing my watch. 434 00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:46,732 Pottery. Now you're making pottery. 435 00:17:46,734 --> 00:17:48,617 I needed a new vase... 436 00:17:48,619 --> 00:17:50,519 and some plates. 437 00:17:50,521 --> 00:17:51,787 And bowls. 438 00:17:51,789 --> 00:17:54,206 The china cabinet I built had some design flaws. 439 00:17:54,208 --> 00:17:56,959 Why don't you just turn this into a guest room? 440 00:17:56,961 --> 00:17:58,327 A guest room? 441 00:17:58,329 --> 00:18:00,362 You mean a room ready and waiting 442 00:18:00,364 --> 00:18:01,696 for someone who isn't there? 443 00:18:01,698 --> 00:18:04,917 A room devoted to reminding me that I'm still alone? 444 00:18:04,919 --> 00:18:08,337 Yeah, I don't need that. 445 00:18:08,339 --> 00:18:13,175 Ted, no matter how many things you put in this room... 446 00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:15,444 I'll still be here. 447 00:18:27,056 --> 00:18:27,722 Hey. 448 00:18:27,724 --> 00:18:29,908 Hey! 449 00:18:30,393 --> 00:18:31,777 Come on in. 450 00:18:31,779 --> 00:18:33,745 Thanks. 451 00:18:34,848 --> 00:18:37,282 Oh, um, thanks for packing up the rest of my stuff. 452 00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:39,618 No problem. Uh, you want some coffee? 453 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:41,954 Uh, sure. Yeah? Yeah. 454 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:44,406 So, how are things? 455 00:18:44,408 --> 00:18:46,375 Good! You? Great! 456 00:18:46,377 --> 00:18:48,360 You know, I actually made this mug. 457 00:18:48,362 --> 00:18:49,928 Oh, yeah? Oh! Yeah. Oh! 458 00:18:49,930 --> 00:18:52,598 Yeah, sorry, coffee's a little strong. 459 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:56,268 How was your stay with Marshall and Lily? 460 00:18:56,270 --> 00:18:58,303 Uh... a little weird. 461 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,439 They're not loving Long Island. 462 00:19:00,441 --> 00:19:01,607 Oh. 463 00:19:01,609 --> 00:19:03,141 I think deep down, they realize 464 00:19:03,143 --> 00:19:05,110 it just... isn't a good fit. 465 00:19:05,112 --> 00:19:08,697 It's hard to admit that sometimes. 466 00:19:08,699 --> 00:19:10,566 Sure is. 467 00:19:10,568 --> 00:19:13,869 But I guess it's better to face it and move on 468 00:19:13,871 --> 00:19:18,574 than try to force something that just isn't meant to be, right? 469 00:19:18,576 --> 00:19:20,292 I think so. 470 00:19:20,294 --> 00:19:21,643 Yeah. 471 00:19:22,378 --> 00:19:23,545 So, what do you think 472 00:19:23,547 --> 00:19:25,097 you're gonna do with my old room? 473 00:19:25,099 --> 00:19:26,615 Haven't really thought about it. 474 00:19:26,617 --> 00:19:28,283 Oh! 475 00:19:34,274 --> 00:19:36,508 Who needs Manhattan? 476 00:19:36,510 --> 00:19:37,843 Yeah. 477 00:19:39,963 --> 00:19:41,963 Hmm, it's Ted. He wants to know 478 00:19:41,965 --> 00:19:43,982 if we want to hang out in the city. 479 00:19:43,984 --> 00:19:45,851 The next train leaves in nine minutes. 480 00:20:03,202 --> 00:20:06,955 Dear Lily and Marshall, I don't know if you know this, 481 00:20:06,957 --> 00:20:09,958 but I never took your names off the lease. 482 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:13,662 Well, today I took my name off it. 483 00:20:13,664 --> 00:20:16,665 The apartment is now yours. 484 00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:19,501 And I think I finally figured out the best thing 485 00:20:19,503 --> 00:20:21,470 to do with Robin's old room. 486 00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:33,982 See, for me, this place has begun to feel a little haunted. 487 00:20:33,984 --> 00:20:36,568 At first, I thought it was haunted by Robin, 488 00:20:36,570 --> 00:20:39,438 but now I think it was haunted by me. 489 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:44,493 Well, no ghost is at peace until it finally moves on. 490 00:20:45,712 --> 00:20:47,713 I need a change. 491 00:20:47,715 --> 00:20:49,748 And I think you do, too. 492 00:20:49,750 --> 00:20:52,417 This apartment needs some new life. 493 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:56,755 So, please, make our old home your new home. 494 00:20:56,757 --> 00:20:59,274 It is now ghost-free. 495 00:20:59,276 --> 00:21:00,892 Love, Ted. 496 00:21:00,894 --> 00:21:04,894 == sync, corrected by elderman ==