1
00:00:00,492 --> 00:00:02,280
<i>"Last Man Standing" was recorded</i>

2
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<i>in front of a live studio audience.</i>

3
00:00:04,413 --> 00:00:07,565
Hello, my beautiful sister.

4
00:00:07,583 --> 00:00:10,902
Yes, let's lock that in as
your standard greeting.

5
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:12,921
Yeah! What are you so happy about?

6
00:00:14,256 --> 00:00:16,591
This hot guy, Wyatt
Pierce, he talked to me today.

7
00:00:16,625 --> 00:00:17,759
My God.

8
00:00:17,793 --> 00:00:19,260
I remember the first
hot guy who talked to me.

9
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We were in second grade,

10
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and he already knew he
wanted to be a doctor.

11
00:00:22,348 --> 00:00:25,166
So, um, first, he, likechecked up on my...

12
00:00:25,201 --> 00:00:27,285
Me, Mandy. We're talking about me.

13
00:00:28,971 --> 00:00:31,506
Wyatt asked me to copy my homework.

14
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Yeah, no, you don't want
to let him do that.

15
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I'm pretty sure I do.

16
00:00:35,661 --> 00:00:38,279
No, sweetie, he's using you.

17
00:00:38,314 --> 00:00:40,298
I think he might really like me, Mandy

18
00:00:40,332 --> 00:00:41,950
okay, well, if hot guy likes you now,

19
00:00:41,984 --> 00:00:43,735
he's gonna want you even
more after you turn him down.

20
00:00:44,820 --> 00:00:47,238
So you never say no, but you want me to?

21
00:00:49,041 --> 00:00:50,959
Hey. What are you guys talking about?

22
00:00:50,993 --> 00:00:53,545
This hot guy at school wants
to copy my homework.

23
00:00:53,579 --> 00:00:54,879
But you said no, right?

24
00:00:54,914 --> 00:00:56,297
'Cause he will respect you more.

25
00:00:56,332 --> 00:00:57,615
Trust me.

26
00:00:57,633 --> 00:01:00,368
Okay. That's smart. Thanks, Kristin.

27
00:01:00,402 --> 00:01:02,387
Beep-bop. Sorry. One thing.

28
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"Thanks, Kristin"?

29
00:01:03,589 --> 00:01:06,057
I think, um, I just said the same thing.

30
00:01:06,091 --> 00:01:08,393
I don't think so. What she said made sense.

31
00:01:08,427 --> 00:01:10,962
No one listens to the beautiful.

32
00:01:10,980 --> 00:01:12,296
Year after year,

33
00:01:12,314 --> 00:01:14,298
miss America says we
should end world hunger,

34
00:01:14,316 --> 00:01:16,801
but I am pretty sure it's still a problem.

35
00:01:21,023 --> 00:01:23,491
Hey. Carol. Hi. Hey. Hi. How are you?

36
00:01:23,526 --> 00:01:25,160
- How's it going? Good to see you.
- Hi. Come on in.

37
00:01:25,194 --> 00:01:27,245
Yeah. Is Mike here? Yeah, he just got home.

38
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We can't stay then. Okay.

39
00:01:29,114 --> 00:01:32,083
Um  listen, I'm running for school board,

40
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and we'd love it if you'd put

41
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one of my campaign signs on your lawn.

42
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Of course. Yeah.

43
00:01:36,839 --> 00:01:39,490
Us sisters, we got to stick together!

44
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"We sisters."

45
00:01:42,678 --> 00:01:44,829
Yeah, grammar's a big part of my platform.

46
00:01:44,847 --> 00:01:46,831
Thanks. All right, Chuck, you
get this side of the street.

47
00:01:46,849 --> 00:01:48,016
I'll get lunch.
- Right on.

48
00:01:48,050 --> 00:01:50,852
- Let me see that.
- Here you go.

49
00:01:50,886 --> 00:01:53,504
Look at that smile.

50
00:01:53,522 --> 00:01:55,523
Who in their right
mind wouldn't vote for her?

51
00:01:55,558 --> 00:01:58,560
Aw, it's just you, larabee?

52
00:01:58,611 --> 00:02:00,177
Honey, call home security.

53
00:02:00,196 --> 00:02:02,179
Tell them it's just a false alarm.

54
00:02:02,198 --> 00:02:04,015
You don't need home security, Baxter.

55
00:02:04,033 --> 00:02:06,350
That hillbilly truck you
drive lets everybody know

56
00:02:06,368 --> 00:02:08,369
there's nothing in this
place worth stealing.

57
00:02:10,155 --> 00:02:12,356
Where should I put the sign?

58
00:02:12,374 --> 00:02:14,876
That's cardboard and
metal. That's the blue bin, right?

59
00:02:14,910 --> 00:02:16,878
Aw. Here we go.

60
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It's never easy with you, is it, Baxter?

61
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Carol is running for school board

62
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and we are going to support her.

63
00:02:21,967 --> 00:02:23,751
We can't support her. She
may have bad judgment.

64
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I mean, look who she married.

65
00:02:27,006 --> 00:02:28,372
She stands for better schools.

66
00:02:28,390 --> 00:02:30,058
You got a problem with better schools?

67
00:02:30,092 --> 00:02:31,976
No, that's not really his problem.

68
00:02:32,011 --> 00:02:34,896
Why don't you show your buddy
Chuck where to put this?

69
00:02:34,930 --> 00:02:36,064
Hey, no. He's not my buddy.

70
00:02:36,098 --> 00:02:37,232
Why do you say "Buddy"? He's not my buddy.

71
00:02:37,266 --> 00:02:39,050
Let's figure out where
to put your stupid sign.

72
00:02:39,068 --> 00:02:40,685
Hey, if anybody knows stupid.

73
00:02:40,719 --> 00:02:42,987
I'm following stupid right
out into my yard.

74
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That's what I'm doing.

75
00:02:45,556 --> 00:02:49,459
<font color="#ffff00">sync and corrections by dreaMaker7
www.addic7ed.com</font>

76
00:02:51,530 --> 00:02:54,899
Yeah, so, if you've got
any questions, just come to me.

77
00:02:54,917 --> 00:02:56,567
I've been janitor, then stock clerk,

78
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then loading-dock clerk, and clerk clerk.

79
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Jack of all trades?

80
00:03:00,506 --> 00:03:02,907
I'm Kyle, dude.

81
00:03:04,260 --> 00:03:06,243
You're not gonna last very long around here

82
00:03:06,262 --> 00:03:08,413
if you can't remember people's names.

83
00:03:09,448 --> 00:03:11,248
- Morning, Mr. B.
- Morning.

84
00:03:11,267 --> 00:03:12,917
I was just showing the new guy around.

85
00:03:12,935 --> 00:03:14,585
Yeah? Show him where the crossbows are.

86
00:03:14,603 --> 00:03:16,420
Get him an apple. I'll be right downstairs.

87
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Mr. B.

88
00:03:19,108 --> 00:03:20,692
He's just giving you the business.

89
00:03:20,726 --> 00:03:22,110
We do that a lot around here.

90
00:03:22,144 --> 00:03:23,611
Shut up, Kyle.

91
00:03:23,646 --> 00:03:25,763
Classic Mr. B.

92
00:03:25,781 --> 00:03:27,765
Well, I do appreciate
the janitor job, Mike.

93
00:03:27,783 --> 00:03:29,784
I know you don't like
having me around here.

94
00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,769
Not just here.

95
00:03:32,905 --> 00:03:34,872
Kyle! Kyle, coffee!

96
00:03:34,907 --> 00:03:36,273
Morning, Mr. Alzate.

97
00:03:36,292 --> 00:03:39,443
Why am I staring at an empty pot?

98
00:03:39,461 --> 00:03:40,778
This Danish feels like

99
00:03:40,813 --> 00:03:43,831
a big rig jackknifed in my colon.

100
00:03:43,882 --> 00:03:46,634
Allow me, sir.

101
00:03:46,669 --> 00:03:48,636
What's with that salte ?

102
00:03:48,671 --> 00:03:50,471
Well, you said your
stomach was bothering you.

103
00:03:50,506 --> 00:03:53,391
The sodium cuts the acid and
makes it a lot smoother.

104
00:03:53,425 --> 00:03:55,310
Well, how about that, Kyle?

105
00:03:55,344 --> 00:03:57,145
We have in our midst an expert

106
00:03:57,179 --> 00:04:00,398
at teasing gentle
flavor from the arabica bean.

107
00:04:01,684 --> 00:04:03,151
Yeah, but what we really need

108
00:04:03,185 --> 00:04:06,487
is someone who can make some coffee.

109
00:04:06,522 --> 00:04:08,022
Yeah, I learned a lot about coffee

110
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backpacking through Brazil.

111
00:04:09,325 --> 00:04:11,642
Did you know that old
grounds make excellent fertilizer?

112
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Yeah?

113
00:04:12,661 --> 00:04:13,911
And, I'm no expert,

114
00:04:13,946 --> 00:04:15,947
but that miniature Jayne
Austin Rose in there

115
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could use a little bit of nitrogen.

116
00:04:20,919 --> 00:04:23,054
You're the first person to notice my roses

117
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and know them by name.

118
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He could spend some time

119
00:04:25,674 --> 00:04:27,342
learning the name of his co-workers.

120
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Called me Jack.

121
00:04:29,712 --> 00:04:31,179
Yeah, between junior and
senior year of college,

122
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I actually worked in a nursery.

123
00:04:32,297 --> 00:04:33,431
Yeah, I just needed time away

124
00:04:33,465 --> 00:04:36,084
from all the books and the schedules and...

125
00:04:36,118 --> 00:04:39,020
yeah, and the kid you left behind.

126
00:04:39,054 --> 00:04:41,005
I think you spent time in the wrong nsery.

127
00:04:41,023 --> 00:04:44,342
Don't worry, son. Mike's a fair guy.

128
00:04:44,376 --> 00:04:46,177
He's gonna forgive you one day.

129
00:04:46,195 --> 00:04:48,012
Every young man makes mistakes.

130
00:04:48,030 --> 00:04:51,699
I married my fair share, so...

131
00:04:51,734 --> 00:04:53,534
Well, thank you, Mr. Alzate.

132
00:04:53,569 --> 00:04:55,036
No, Ed. Ed.

133
00:04:55,070 --> 00:04:57,538
Well, hey, if you like
a guy that makesistakes,

134
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I mean, I'm right here.

135
00:04:59,742 --> 00:05:01,492
I might have left my stove on.

136
00:05:01,526 --> 00:05:03,411
Who knows what I'm coming home to?

137
00:05:08,667 --> 00:05:11,135
Mike? Mike?!

138
00:05:11,170 --> 00:05:12,553
I'm here.

139
00:05:12,588 --> 00:05:14,255
You've got to be kidding me.

140
00:05:14,306 --> 00:05:16,474
No, I'm still this handsome.

141
00:05:16,508 --> 00:05:19,143
Look outside, and tell me what you see.

142
00:05:19,178 --> 00:05:20,478
Go ahead.

143
00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:28,770
The sherazis added another fountain?

144
00:05:28,821 --> 00:05:30,772
No.

145
00:05:30,823 --> 00:05:32,657
<i>What you don't see. Carol's sign.</i>

146
00:05:32,691 --> 00:05:34,692
Honey, what happened to Carol's sign?

147
00:05:34,726 --> 00:05:36,244
How the hell would I know?

148
00:05:36,278 --> 00:05:38,446
Maybe it's moving on up to the east side.

149
00:05:38,497 --> 00:05:40,898
Come on. That's not
funny. We have to support her.

150
00:05:40,916 --> 00:05:43,067
We know her. She's been in our home.

151
00:05:43,085 --> 00:05:44,902
So has the guy that
fixes the garbage disposal,

152
00:05:46,288 --> 00:05:48,405
and he's probably not
qualified for public office

153
00:05:48,424 --> 00:05:50,074
'cause he can actually fix something.

154
00:05:50,092 --> 00:05:51,676
She's our friend, Mike.

155
00:05:51,710 --> 00:05:52,927
She's only your friend

156
00:05:52,961 --> 00:05:55,246
because she gives you
some sort street cred.

157
00:05:55,264 --> 00:05:56,747
Stop.

158
00:05:56,765 --> 00:05:58,082
You know, Carol's my friend

159
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,750
just like Chuck is... is your friend.

160
00:05:59,768 --> 00:06:01,519
Chuck is not my friend.

161
00:06:01,553 --> 00:06:04,222
Please. You
lo-o-o-ve Chuck.

162
00:06:05,858 --> 00:06:07,108
You know, I bet you took that sign

163
00:06:07,142 --> 00:06:09,277
just so your best buddy would
come marching over here

164
00:06:09,311 --> 00:06:11,696
and you could do your weird mating dance.

165
00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:13,698
"You're stupid." "No, you're an idiot."

166
00:06:13,732 --> 00:06:15,082
It's like foreplay.

167
00:06:16,618 --> 00:06:19,770
Listen, there's only one
person I consider my best friend.

168
00:06:19,788 --> 00:06:20,988
Honey.

169
00:06:21,039 --> 00:06:22,623
Rick Wallace.

170
00:06:22,658 --> 00:06:24,792
Rick Wallace?

171
00:06:24,827 --> 00:06:26,661
But you haven't seen him in 10 years.

172
00:06:26,712 --> 00:06:29,330
That's what makes him a perfect friend.

173
00:06:29,381 --> 00:06:32,834
He never calls. He
doesn't want anything from me.

174
00:06:32,885 --> 00:06:35,953
He might even be dead.

175
00:06:35,971 --> 00:06:38,506
Well, I am glad you two are so tight.

176
00:06:38,557 --> 00:06:40,675
I'm kidding around. He's alive.

177
00:06:40,726 --> 00:06:42,459
We connect on Facebook all the time.

178
00:06:42,478 --> 00:06:43,561
He's always telling me

179
00:06:43,595 --> 00:06:45,480
how his kid got third place in a swim meet.

180
00:06:45,514 --> 00:06:48,316
Not sure why you'd want to advertise that.

181
00:06:48,350 --> 00:06:51,802
Mike, you...you really
don't consider us friends?

182
00:06:51,820 --> 00:06:54,322
How can we be friends? We're married.

183
00:06:55,491 --> 00:06:56,640
Go on.

184
00:06:56,658 --> 00:06:58,192
- Honey, honey, honey, honey.
- What?

185
00:06:58,243 --> 00:06:59,694
We've got something bigger
than a friendship.

186
00:06:59,745 --> 00:07:02,880
We have a legally binding contract.

187
00:07:02,915 --> 00:07:06,584
And that's the only thing
keeping us together?

188
00:07:06,618 --> 00:07:09,320
No, but it... it's an incentive.

189
00:07:13,125 --> 00:07:15,676
Mandy, honey, I want to
get your opinion on something.

190
00:07:15,711 --> 00:07:17,595
Finally. Somebody who
values my advice around here.

191
00:07:17,629 --> 00:07:18,713
Don't bring her into this.

192
00:07:18,764 --> 00:07:22,499
Do you consider Kyle to
be your best friend?

193
00:07:22,518 --> 00:07:26,003
That's really
interesting. Um, let me think.

194
00:07:26,021 --> 00:07:29,273
Well, I have my besties,
my BFFS, and my frenemies,

195
00:07:29,308 --> 00:07:30,691
and then there's my guy friends.

196
00:07:30,726 --> 00:07:32,560
So, like there's my
gays and my ex-boyfriends

197
00:07:32,611 --> 00:07:34,061
and then my wannabe-boyfriend friends,

198
00:07:34,112 --> 00:07:35,897
and then there's, like, my work friends

199
00:07:35,948 --> 00:07:37,732
and my school friends and
my Facebook friends,

200
00:07:37,783 --> 00:07:40,201
Twitter-ati, and then the girlfriends

201
00:07:40,235 --> 00:07:41,736
whose names I don't
know, but I'm just like,

202
00:07:41,787 --> 00:07:44,088
"Hey, girlfriend! Yeah!"

203
00:07:44,122 --> 00:07:47,191
And then there's my bitches.

204
00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:50,378
Yeah. And... and Kyle?

205
00:07:50,412 --> 00:07:51,829
Yeah. He's in there somewhere.

206
00:07:53,215 --> 00:07:55,216
And, honey, I'm sure
you're in there somewhere, too.

207
00:07:56,752 --> 00:07:57,868
Here, let me get that.

208
00:07:57,886 --> 00:07:58,869
Ha ha ha.

209
00:08:00,138 --> 00:08:01,889
Chuck.

210
00:08:01,924 --> 00:08:04,559
Hi, Mr. Larabee. Vanessa. Mandy.

211
00:08:04,593 --> 00:08:06,561
Baxter.

212
00:08:06,595 --> 00:08:07,711
Chuck.

213
00:08:07,729 --> 00:08:09,814
I noticed your sign was missing.

214
00:08:09,848 --> 00:08:11,315
Yeah, it... it disapared.

215
00:08:11,350 --> 00:08:13,100
We could put another one up right away.

216
00:08:13,151 --> 00:08:14,602
Maybe we should put it in
the backyard this time...

217
00:08:14,653 --> 00:08:16,737
keep it nice and safe.

218
00:08:16,772 --> 00:08:19,073
See, pal? I thought you'd
come to support a black candidate.

219
00:08:19,107 --> 00:08:21,776
Don't you ever want to
be on the winning side?

220
00:08:21,827 --> 00:08:24,445
Yeah, my theory is Mike took the sign

221
00:08:24,496 --> 00:08:26,080
just so you would come over here,

222
00:08:26,114 --> 00:08:28,449
because you two enjoy each
other's company so much.

223
00:08:28,500 --> 00:08:31,168
What the what? No...yeah.

224
00:08:31,203 --> 00:08:32,503
What? No.

225
00:08:32,537 --> 00:08:35,456
I-I go out of my way to avoid him.

226
00:08:35,507 --> 00:08:37,925
Well, you suck at it. I can see you.

227
00:08:39,595 --> 00:08:42,246
Geez, you two. Get a room.

228
00:08:46,616 --> 00:08:49,197
Hey, Ed, you remember Rick Wallace, right?

229
00:08:49,251 --> 00:08:50,251
Best man at your wedding.

230
00:08:50,286 --> 00:08:51,419
Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.

231
00:08:51,453 --> 00:08:52,704
One of my best friends.

232
00:08:52,738 --> 00:08:55,456
You wouldn't happen to have
his phone number, would you?

233
00:08:55,507 --> 00:08:57,125
I stopped talking to that guy.

234
00:08:57,176 --> 00:09:00,178
He was always bragging
about his mediocre kid.

235
00:09:00,212 --> 00:09:02,180
Third place in the swim meet.

236
00:09:02,214 --> 00:09:05,133
"Yay, you lost. You lost."

237
00:09:05,184 --> 00:09:07,018
Kind of lost touch with him. He moved away.

238
00:09:07,052 --> 00:09:08,303
I guess that's what happens.

239
00:09:08,337 --> 00:09:10,188
He moved back to Denver two years ago.

240
00:09:10,222 --> 00:09:13,941
He's been in the store. Surprised
he didn't say "Hi".

241
00:09:13,976 --> 00:09:16,611
Probably just, you know, knows I'm busy.

242
00:09:16,645 --> 00:09:18,730
Probably didn't want to bug me.

243
00:09:18,764 --> 00:09:20,815
That's why he's a great friend.

244
00:09:20,866 --> 00:09:22,817
- Hey, Mr. Alzate?
- Yeah.

245
00:09:22,868 --> 00:09:24,319
I was thinking about that conversation

246
00:09:24,370 --> 00:09:25,486
you had with Ryan yesterday.

247
00:09:25,537 --> 00:09:28,039
So, I made you this.

248
00:09:28,073 --> 00:09:29,707
A mix tape?

249
00:09:29,742 --> 00:09:31,709
Yeah, a killer mix tape.

250
00:09:31,744 --> 00:09:33,661
"Kiss from a rose," by seal,

251
00:09:33,712 --> 00:09:36,331
"Every rose has its Thorn," by miley C.,

252
00:09:36,382 --> 00:09:39,250
and, of course, "The
rose," by the divine miss M.

253
00:09:40,302 --> 00:09:41,386
Guess what the theme is.

254
00:09:41,420 --> 00:09:43,971
"How to make another
man really uncomfortable."

255
00:09:46,091 --> 00:09:48,509
I don't know what to do with this.

256
00:09:48,544 --> 00:09:50,395
Well, I thought we could listen to it,

257
00:09:50,429 --> 00:09:52,463
you know, while we talk about worldly stuff

258
00:09:52,481 --> 00:09:54,465
like salty coffee and roses.

259
00:09:54,483 --> 00:09:55,733
O-or kangaroos.

260
00:09:55,768 --> 00:09:58,519
I did a report on them
in the fourth grade, so...

261
00:09:58,570 --> 00:09:59,804
Some other time, Kyle.

262
00:09:59,822 --> 00:10:01,823
My daughter and I have lunch plans.

263
00:10:01,857 --> 00:10:04,826
Actually, Gabriella
called and had to cancel, sir.

264
00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:08,162
So you're as free as a kookaburra bird,

265
00:10:08,197 --> 00:10:12,250
a species indigenous to
Australia, like the kangaroo.

266
00:10:12,284 --> 00:10:14,168
All right, now who do I have lunch with?

267
00:10:17,706 --> 00:10:19,490
Ryan.

268
00:10:19,508 --> 00:10:21,008
Ryan, you hungry?

269
00:10:21,043 --> 00:10:22,043
Always.

270
00:10:22,094 --> 00:10:23,994
Good. Let's have lunch.

271
00:10:24,012 --> 00:10:26,180
You're gonna love this place.

272
00:10:26,215 --> 00:10:28,883
It has a candy cane rose
bush growing over the portico.

273
00:10:28,934 --> 00:10:30,218
Yeah, it's an amazing restaurant.

274
00:10:30,269 --> 00:10:32,553
Except for the food.

275
00:10:35,795 --> 00:10:38,509
Hi. What's so funny? What's up?

276
00:10:38,527 --> 00:10:39,844
- What?
- No. Nothing.

277
00:10:39,862 --> 00:10:42,196
Um, Eve was just telling
me all about Wyatt.

278
00:10:42,231 --> 00:10:44,532
Yep, I told him he
couldn't copy my homework,

279
00:10:44,566 --> 00:10:46,517
and he asked me to hang out tonight.

280
00:10:46,535 --> 00:10:48,536
Yes! Exactly what I said would happen.

281
00:10:48,570 --> 00:10:50,037
Exactly what Kristin said would happen.

282
00:10:50,072 --> 00:10:51,038
But I said it first.

283
00:10:51,073 --> 00:10:52,573
Okay, Mandy, you are sounding

284
00:10:52,624 --> 00:10:54,008
really childish right now.

285
00:10:54,042 --> 00:10:55,576
That's why I didn't take her advice.

286
00:10:55,627 --> 00:10:56,794
But you did take it!

287
00:10:56,829 --> 00:10:58,296
Can't wait to meet this guy.

288
00:10:58,330 --> 00:10:59,864
When's he coming to pick you up?

289
00:10:59,882 --> 00:11:01,416
No. I'm meeting him and a
bunch of people at the mall.

290
00:11:01,467 --> 00:11:04,969
Yeah. That sounds
good. Low-key, less pressure.

291
00:11:05,036 --> 00:11:07,672
Group date. Bag.

292
00:11:08,724 --> 00:11:10,040
Yeah, see you later, Wyatt.

293
00:11:10,058 --> 00:11:12,560
If he really liked
you, he'd ask you out solo.

294
00:11:12,594 --> 00:11:14,061
No, no, no. Maybe he's just nervous

295
00:11:14,096 --> 00:11:15,880
and wants to have his friends around, yeah.

296
00:11:15,898 --> 00:11:18,048
No. Guys go on group dates
to keep their options open.

297
00:11:18,066 --> 00:11:19,851
He's probably gonna go sneak off

298
00:11:19,885 --> 00:11:21,102
and make out with Sarah.

299
00:11:21,153 --> 00:11:22,270
How did you know Sarah was going?

300
00:11:22,321 --> 00:11:24,739
There's always a Sarah.

301
00:11:24,773 --> 00:11:26,107
Hey, I say go for it, okay?

302
00:11:26,158 --> 00:11:27,608
You are just being competitive

303
00:11:27,659 --> 00:11:29,560
because she took my advice and not yours.

304
00:11:29,578 --> 00:11:34,398
It was my advice! We
gave her the same advice!

305
00:11:34,416 --> 00:11:35,583
- Hello, ladies.
- Hey, dad.

306
00:11:35,617 --> 00:11:37,234
What are you doing home from work?

307
00:11:37,252 --> 00:11:38,369
I forgot something.

308
00:11:38,403 --> 00:11:41,589
I forgot your boyfriend works where I work.

309
00:11:41,623 --> 00:11:43,624
What are you doing home?

310
00:11:43,675 --> 00:11:46,243
Well, feeling real welcome.

311
00:11:46,261 --> 00:11:48,463
Where are you going?

312
00:11:48,514 --> 00:11:51,132
Well, contractually bound roommate,

313
00:11:51,183 --> 00:11:52,183
I am going to have lunch

314
00:11:52,217 --> 00:11:53,684
with my good friend Carol larabee.

315
00:11:53,719 --> 00:11:55,520
It is something that friends do.

316
00:11:55,554 --> 00:11:57,588
Well, if you become best friends,

317
00:11:57,606 --> 00:11:59,423
you'll never have to see her.

318
00:12:01,443 --> 00:12:02,927
Mike.

319
00:12:02,945 --> 00:12:07,448
Somebody stole Carol's sign again.

320
00:12:07,483 --> 00:12:08,616
Well, we tried.

321
00:12:08,650 --> 00:12:10,785
No, hey. Come here. Come on.

322
00:12:10,819 --> 00:12:11,786
What?

323
00:12:13,071 --> 00:12:14,989
How about I go to
larabee's and ask for another one?

324
00:12:15,040 --> 00:12:16,440
Yes. Yeah. Yeah, of course.

325
00:12:16,458 --> 00:12:17,441
You don't want your best buddy

326
00:12:17,459 --> 00:12:18,709
to think you're the one who took it.

327
00:12:18,744 --> 00:12:20,661
I couldn't give a rat's
ass what larabee thinks.

328
00:12:20,712 --> 00:12:21,796
You know, from now on,

329
00:12:21,830 --> 00:12:24,131
let's leave the manger up all year long.

330
00:12:24,166 --> 00:12:25,466
No one's gonna pull this kind of crap

331
00:12:25,501 --> 00:12:27,468
in front of a plastic Jesus.

332
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:35,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM

333
00:12:36,678 --> 00:12:38,012
Larabee.

334
00:12:54,613 --> 00:12:56,447
Need a hand with that, Baxter?

335
00:13:03,649 --> 00:13:05,788
This is fun.

336
00:13:05,866 --> 00:13:06,702
Yeah.

337
00:13:06,716 --> 00:13:07,699
Boy, it's been a long time

338
00:13:07,717 --> 00:13:08,883
since we've had lunch together?

339
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:12,554
Have we ever had lunch together?

340
00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:15,590
Haven't we?

341
00:13:15,625 --> 00:13:17,392
Never.

342
00:13:17,426 --> 00:13:20,228
Then it really has been a long time.

343
00:13:22,064 --> 00:13:25,600
Boy, I really... I love your earrings.

344
00:13:25,651 --> 00:13:28,653
Chuck gave these to me for our anniversary.

345
00:13:28,688 --> 00:13:29,988
Mike gave me a lecture

346
00:13:30,022 --> 00:13:32,274
on why anniversaries are fascist.

347
00:13:34,277 --> 00:13:36,911
You know, let me... let
me ask you something.

348
00:13:36,946 --> 00:13:40,415
Um, do you and Chuck consider
yourselves friends?

349
00:13:40,449 --> 00:13:43,501
we're best friends.

350
00:13:43,536 --> 00:13:46,004
Great. That's good. Great.

351
00:13:46,038 --> 00:13:48,089
Yeah, um, you know, Mike...

352
00:13:48,124 --> 00:13:51,443
Mike won't admit that he
and I are best friends.

353
00:13:51,477 --> 00:13:52,510
That's something you want?

354
00:13:53,596 --> 00:13:55,964
And I keep forgetting that you've met Mike.

355
00:13:56,015 --> 00:13:57,465
I mean, you know, I-I-I
know he loves me.

356
00:13:57,516 --> 00:13:59,301
I just want to know that
he likes me as much

357
00:13:59,352 --> 00:14:01,469
as some guy he hasn't seen in 10 years.

358
00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,305
- What do men know about friendship?
- Yeah, I don't know.

359
00:14:03,356 --> 00:14:05,807
I mean, Chuck won't even say
that he and Mike are friends.

360
00:14:05,858 --> 00:14:08,810
God. Men are so afraid of their feelings.

361
00:14:08,861 --> 00:14:10,979
It's like if they admit
they like each other,

362
00:14:11,030 --> 00:14:12,947
they're on the trail to
"Brokeback Mountain."

363
00:14:12,982 --> 00:14:16,785
If being gay means being able
to express your feelings,

364
00:14:16,819 --> 00:14:19,454
I wish our husbands were
more like those two.

365
00:14:19,488 --> 00:14:20,689
Over there.

366
00:14:22,325 --> 00:14:25,443
That's amazing.

367
00:14:25,461 --> 00:14:27,212
It tastes amazing.

368
00:14:33,386 --> 00:14:36,004
Hey, so how was lunch with Ryan?

369
00:14:36,055 --> 00:14:39,290
Does he know anything about kangaroos?

370
00:14:39,308 --> 00:14:42,510
Lunch was ordered, eaten,
and is now being digested.

371
00:14:42,561 --> 00:14:44,979
So it's not a good time.

372
00:14:45,014 --> 00:14:49,317
All right.

373
00:14:49,352 --> 00:14:50,985
That was my nice way of asking you

374
00:14:51,020 --> 00:14:53,154
to get the hell out.

375
00:14:54,357 --> 00:14:56,808
What's bothering you, son?

376
00:14:56,826 --> 00:14:58,309
I'm just trying to work up the courage

377
00:14:58,327 --> 00:14:59,677
to tell you something, sir.

378
00:14:59,712 --> 00:15:02,313
So spit it out. You've wasted enough time.

379
00:15:02,331 --> 00:15:07,419
Okay, um, Ryan's been
working here for two weeks.

380
00:15:07,453 --> 00:15:10,505
I'm sorry that was so hard for you to say.

381
00:15:10,539 --> 00:15:13,174
No, no, no. There's...there's more.

382
00:15:14,326 --> 00:15:17,662
Um, I've been working here for four years.

383
00:15:17,696 --> 00:15:20,998
I can see how all that
math can be difficult.

384
00:15:21,016 --> 00:15:22,734
It's just that in all that time,

385
00:15:22,768 --> 00:15:24,219
not once have you asked me,

386
00:15:24,270 --> 00:15:25,854
"hey, do you want to go get lunch?"

387
00:15:25,888 --> 00:15:27,355
I ask you to get lunch all the time.

388
00:15:27,390 --> 00:15:28,673
<i>You ask me to get your lunch.</i>

389
00:15:28,691 --> 00:15:31,676
And a lot of times, I have to pay for it.

390
00:15:31,694 --> 00:15:33,661
You know, by the way, you owe me $7.

391
00:15:34,613 --> 00:15:35,780
$6.88.

392
00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:38,283
I rounded up 'cause I'm
really upset right now.

393
00:15:38,317 --> 00:15:41,403
Kyle, Kyle. Kyle, wait. Okay.

394
00:15:41,454 --> 00:15:44,072
I think I understand.

395
00:15:44,123 --> 00:15:45,407
You want to get lunch?

396
00:15:45,458 --> 00:15:47,041
Fine. What do you want me to get you?

397
00:15:47,076 --> 00:15:49,711
No, Kyle. No, no. No.

398
00:15:49,745 --> 00:15:51,329
Just the two of us... next week.

399
00:15:51,363 --> 00:15:53,214
We'll spend some quality time together.

400
00:15:53,249 --> 00:15:56,050
Thank you, sir. It means a lot to me.

401
00:15:56,085 --> 00:15:57,535
- All right.
- All right.

402
00:15:57,553 --> 00:16:00,388
Has it really been four years?

403
00:16:00,423 --> 00:16:03,408
Well, it's only been 3
years, 9 months, and 2 days.

404
00:16:04,894 --> 00:16:06,878
Wow.

405
00:16:06,896 --> 00:16:08,980
Got to get that
rounding-up thing under control.

406
00:16:11,650 --> 00:16:14,102
All right.

407
00:16:14,153 --> 00:16:15,487
This sign isn't going anywhere,

408
00:16:15,521 --> 00:16:16,821
whether I want it to or not...

409
00:16:16,856 --> 00:16:18,156
much like you in this neighborhood.

410
00:16:19,575 --> 00:16:21,392
So you still think I stole your signs?

411
00:16:21,410 --> 00:16:22,494
Well, I don't know.

412
00:16:22,528 --> 00:16:24,496
How about you give me
the key to those locks?

413
00:16:24,530 --> 00:16:28,082
Okay, Baxter. Sorry I suspected you.

414
00:16:28,117 --> 00:16:29,417
I'm used to being persecuted.

415
00:16:29,452 --> 00:16:30,618
You have no idea

416
00:16:30,669 --> 00:16:32,003
what it's like being a
white man in America.

417
00:16:38,177 --> 00:16:41,412
I sure hope Carol wins.

418
00:16:41,430 --> 00:16:42,580
It'd be a shame to go through all of this

419
00:16:42,598 --> 00:16:44,349
and not have the house all to myself.

420
00:16:44,383 --> 00:16:47,435
Yeah, I'd love that... having
no one around to talk to.

421
00:16:47,470 --> 00:16:48,586
Yeah.

422
00:16:48,604 --> 00:16:50,405
I kind of wish that
was happening right now.

423
00:16:51,724 --> 00:16:54,192
Yeah, but I understand, you know?

424
00:16:54,226 --> 00:16:58,196
My Carol she loves to chat.

425
00:16:58,230 --> 00:16:59,397
Yeah, you know why?

426
00:16:59,431 --> 00:17:01,399
'Cause wives think we
can be their best friends.

427
00:17:01,433 --> 00:17:03,067
Now, how can we be friends?

428
00:17:03,101 --> 00:17:05,269
We're married.

429
00:17:06,956 --> 00:17:08,606
That's what I told Vanessa.

430
00:17:08,624 --> 00:17:12,276
Wait. You said that?

431
00:17:12,294 --> 00:17:13,778
To your wife?

432
00:17:13,796 --> 00:17:16,113
Out loud?

433
00:17:16,131 --> 00:17:17,382
No, no, no, no, no, no.

434
00:17:17,416 --> 00:17:21,386
When she asks, you tell
her she's your best friend.

435
00:17:23,756 --> 00:17:29,227
It's so simple. A little white lie.

436
00:17:29,261 --> 00:17:31,062
You've co-opted so much of our culture,

437
00:17:31,129 --> 00:17:33,381
we can borrow from yours.

438
00:17:36,352 --> 00:17:40,321
Fact is, I haven't seen my
real best friend in years.

439
00:17:40,356 --> 00:17:41,439
He might be dead.

440
00:17:44,276 --> 00:17:46,611
Mine, too.

441
00:17:46,645 --> 00:17:48,580
Rick Wallace?

442
00:17:51,283 --> 00:17:52,750
Why don't women understand the value

443
00:17:52,785 --> 00:17:54,252
of that kind of friendship?

444
00:17:54,286 --> 00:17:57,772
Yeah, well, until I can hang
with someone I actually enjoy,

445
00:17:57,806 --> 00:18:02,427
seems like I'm stuck with
the likes of you, Baxter.

446
00:18:02,461 --> 00:18:04,712
that's a bad lot for the both of us.

447
00:18:04,763 --> 00:18:06,381
Hey, honey.

448
00:18:06,432 --> 00:18:08,716
Hey. Wow.

449
00:18:08,767 --> 00:18:11,853
Looks like you guys worked really
hard to put this sign up.

450
00:18:11,887 --> 00:18:13,004
Take it down.

451
00:18:13,022 --> 00:18:14,522
Yeah.

452
00:18:14,557 --> 00:18:16,558
We are not supporting Carol.

453
00:18:16,592 --> 00:18:18,560
Well, th-that... that
sign's not going anywhere.

454
00:18:18,611 --> 00:18:20,895
It'd be easier for us to move.

455
00:18:20,946 --> 00:18:23,431
Now, I'm sorry, Chuck, but your
wife wants to get rid of

456
00:18:23,465 --> 00:18:25,867
the after-school program for
the arts that I started.

457
00:18:25,901 --> 00:18:28,953
It's crazy. She's all
about cutting spending.

458
00:18:28,988 --> 00:18:31,956
What?

459
00:18:31,991 --> 00:18:33,124
Toss some lights on that.

460
00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:36,861
More people can look at that thing.

461
00:18:36,879 --> 00:18:38,129
Yeah, well, believe it or not,

462
00:18:38,163 --> 00:18:39,664
she's more of a conservative than you are

463
00:18:39,698 --> 00:18:40,748
when it comes to taxes.

464
00:18:40,799 --> 00:18:42,967
<i>Well, now, what is it about Carol</i>

465
00:18:43,002 --> 00:18:45,253
that made you assume she's liberal?

466
00:18:45,304 --> 00:18:46,921
No, no, no, no, no, no.

467
00:18:46,972 --> 00:18:48,723
It's not because she's black.

468
00:18:48,757 --> 00:18:53,394
It's because she's nice and smart.

469
00:18:53,429 --> 00:18:57,231
Just smart enough to
realize the value of arts in school.

470
00:18:59,602 --> 00:19:01,019
Carol is black?

471
00:19:03,939 --> 00:19:07,909
Always the last to know.

472
00:19:07,943 --> 00:19:09,577
Must upset you because,

473
00:19:09,612 --> 00:19:11,562
you know, you're such good friends.

474
00:19:11,580 --> 00:19:12,780
Yeah, no, we're still good friends.

475
00:19:12,831 --> 00:19:13,781
Wait, wait, wait.

476
00:19:13,832 --> 00:19:15,450
She may be your friend, Vanessa,

477
00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:17,251
but she's my best friend...

478
00:19:18,587 --> 00:19:21,906
...like husbands and wives should be.

479
00:19:21,924 --> 00:19:22,924
Good luck, Baxter.

480
00:19:28,964 --> 00:19:30,932
So, now you're all for Carol?

481
00:19:30,966 --> 00:19:33,935
I thought you supported my arts program.

482
00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:35,803
I did support your arts program.

483
00:19:35,854 --> 00:19:37,522
Yeah, because it's a good idea.

484
00:19:37,556 --> 00:19:39,974
It's stupidest idea
ever. Total waste of money.

485
00:19:40,025 --> 00:19:42,810
Art is for hanging on walls, right?

486
00:19:42,861 --> 00:19:45,146
And ever since the
advent of the plasma screen,

487
00:19:45,197 --> 00:19:48,432
it's pretty much made art obsolete.

488
00:19:48,450 --> 00:19:50,101
But you helped me the whole time

489
00:19:50,119 --> 00:19:51,869
I was trying to push it through...

490
00:19:51,904 --> 00:19:54,789
all the school-board meetings,
all the work to get the funding.

491
00:19:54,823 --> 00:19:57,959
Yeah, but it was the dumbest idea ever.

492
00:19:57,993 --> 00:19:59,911
Well, then why did you do it?

493
00:19:59,945 --> 00:20:02,664
I mean, you already
said I'm not your friend.

494
00:20:02,715 --> 00:20:04,332
I wouldn't do it for my friend,

495
00:20:04,383 --> 00:20:05,883
but I would do it for my wife.

496
00:20:05,918 --> 00:20:09,137
Honey.

497
00:20:12,758 --> 00:20:15,226
Or Rick Wallace if he asked.

498
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:18,796
But he wouldn't

499
00:20:18,814 --> 00:20:20,464
because that's what kind of friend he is.

500
00:20:27,439 --> 00:20:28,406
Hey.

501
00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:32,210
Hey. So, how did the movie date go?

502
00:20:32,244 --> 00:20:33,878
Terrible.

503
00:20:33,913 --> 00:20:35,446
Yes, I was right!

504
00:20:36,515 --> 00:20:39,167
I'm so sorry. What happened?

505
00:20:39,218 --> 00:20:42,170
Wyatt ignored me the whole time

506
00:20:42,221 --> 00:20:43,922
and then went and made
out with Emma haller.

507
00:20:43,956 --> 00:20:44,923
Boom. Just like I called it.

508
00:20:44,957 --> 00:20:46,508
Unh-unh. You said Sarah.

509
00:20:46,542 --> 00:20:48,560
All Emmas are Sarahs.

510
00:20:48,594 --> 00:20:50,929
I never want to see Wyatt again.

511
00:20:50,963 --> 00:20:52,730
Wrong. You're gonna want Wyatt around.

512
00:20:52,765 --> 00:20:53,932
Not so you can see him,

513
00:20:53,966 --> 00:20:55,650
<i>but so he can see you
while you're making out</i>

514
00:20:55,684 --> 00:20:56,601
with his best friend.

515
00:20:56,635 --> 00:20:57,936
No, no, no. Eve, seriously.

516
00:20:57,970 --> 00:20:59,637
Okay, that is the last
thing you want to do.

517
00:20:59,655 --> 00:21:02,023
- You don't want... -
Bup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup.

518
00:21:02,074 --> 00:21:04,192
His best friend is Greg van Dorn,

519
00:21:04,243 --> 00:21:06,477
so I want to hear more
about this making-out business.

520
00:21:06,495 --> 00:21:08,246
Yes. Honestly, don't take any guy advice

521
00:21:08,280 --> 00:21:09,197
from Kristin, all right?

522
00:21:09,248 --> 00:21:10,698
She always played it way too safe

523
00:21:10,749 --> 00:21:11,966
when it came to boys.

524
00:21:12,001 --> 00:21:15,152
Um, I got pregnant when I was 17.

525
00:21:16,071 --> 00:21:19,323
Yeah, and who told you
not to go out with Ryan?

526
00:21:19,357 --> 00:21:21,475
This guy.

527
00:21:21,742 --> 00:21:25,711
<font color="#ffff00">sync and corrections by dreaMaker7
www.addic7ed.com</font>

528
00:21:26,305 --> 00:21:32,201
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