1
00:00:03,270 --> 00:00:06,507
Dad, you make the best ribs on the planet.

2
00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:09,776
Thank you, baby. My secret is whiskey.

3
00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:11,878
When I'm cooking, I drink a lot of whiskey.

4
00:00:11,911 --> 00:00:13,613
Yeah.

5
00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:16,049
Yeah, I can never enjoy
feasting on the flesh

6
00:00:16,082 --> 00:00:18,285
of a creature as intelligent as a pig.

7
00:00:18,317 --> 00:00:19,753
Pigs aren't that smart.

8
00:00:19,786 --> 00:00:22,622
Only one in three knows how
to build a house out of bricks.

9
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:26,292
Still, I'll stick to
Mike's delicious greens.

10
00:00:26,326 --> 00:00:28,262
Which I cook in bacon grease.

11
00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:33,733
Ah, hey, thanks again for letting us have

12
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,468
Boyd's birthday party here next weekend.

13
00:00:35,501 --> 00:00:37,138
Oh, it's our pleasure.

14
00:00:37,170 --> 00:00:38,972
Hey, I even made goody bags.

15
00:00:39,005 --> 00:00:44,411
In fact, they came out so good, one
might even call them "great-y" bags.

16
00:00:44,443 --> 00:00:46,913
Why didn't I go away to college?

17
00:00:46,946 --> 00:00:49,983
Your mom went to college, and
she still says stuff like that.

18
00:00:50,450 --> 00:00:52,318
Yeah, we wanted to have
the party at our place,

19
00:00:52,352 --> 00:00:54,352
but the yard's not big
enough for the bouncy house.

20
00:00:54,354 --> 00:00:56,223
Bouncy castle.

21
00:00:56,255 --> 00:00:57,957
Boyd, we've talked about this.

22
00:00:57,990 --> 00:00:59,959
I'm not comfortable with bouncy castle.

23
00:00:59,992 --> 00:01:01,629
It glorifies an oppressive class system,

24
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:05,599
so if you want to bounce, you're gonna
have to do it in a sensible house.

25
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:09,203
You know, Ryan, there's a point
when even Karl Marx would slap you.

26
00:01:11,037 --> 00:01:12,772
Yeah, I still can't believe everyone

27
00:01:12,805 --> 00:01:14,974
is burying the headline
about Boyd's birthday.

28
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:19,680
Right, right. You know, there just
might be an appearance by Vaness-o.

29
00:01:21,180 --> 00:01:24,617
The clean-up-can-be-fun
clown.

30
00:01:24,650 --> 00:01:25,953
Uh, that's not a headline, Mom.

31
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:28,022
That's a nightmare.

32
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,690
Look, it's a Baxter family tradition

33
00:01:29,722 --> 00:01:32,258
that on your 10th birthday,
you get a rifle and go hunting.

34
00:01:32,291 --> 00:01:33,693
- Really?
- Yep, yep, yep, yep.

35
00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:35,329
I'm sorry, what?

36
00:01:35,362 --> 00:01:37,865
A gun? Hunting? No. Absolutely not.

37
00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:41,968
Well, Vaness-o, do you want
to clean up this little mess?

38
00:01:42,002 --> 00:01:44,839
Look, I don't want Boyd
thinking that violence is fun.

39
00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:48,576
Now I'm gonna go outside and figure out
where to hang the Donald Trump piñata.

40
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:52,481
You said you were gonna say
something to him about this.

41
00:01:52,511 --> 00:01:54,380
Yeah, well, I was.

42
00:01:54,413 --> 00:01:59,352
But then I realized, I don't really like
arguing with Ryan and you do, so tag.

43
00:01:59,386 --> 00:02:01,355
You're it.

44
00:02:01,388 --> 00:02:05,793
It's getting harder and harder to put
weapons in the hands of children.

45
00:02:06,523 --> 00:02:11,523
Synced and corrected by Katniss Everdeen.
www.addic7ed.com

46
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,669
I'm not changing my mind, Mike.

47
00:02:16,702 --> 00:02:18,238
Boyd's not going hunting.

48
00:02:18,272 --> 00:02:19,239
Look, I was gonna talk to you about this.

49
00:02:19,273 --> 00:02:23,877
I just wanted to find the right time, but...
I don't like talking to you.

50
00:02:23,911 --> 00:02:25,713
Great, 'cause there's
nothing to talk about.

51
00:02:25,745 --> 00:02:26,647
Actually, there is.

52
00:02:26,679 --> 00:02:30,650
Getting a gun on your 10th birthday
is a Baxter family tradition.

53
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:31,886
Yeah, okay. Let me see.

54
00:02:31,918 --> 00:02:36,589
It all started way back with your
great-great grandfather Jebediah Baxter,

55
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:38,358
who by the age of 10, had hunted

56
00:02:38,392 --> 00:02:43,263
everything in the forest that could
walk, crawl, or sing a song.

57
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:47,668
Actually, his name was
Bill, and he made soap.

58
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:50,370
All of the girls got guns
on their 10th birthday,

59
00:02:50,404 --> 00:02:53,674
even Mandy, once I found
a gun that matched her top.

60
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:56,175
Hey, guys. There's pie.

61
00:02:56,208 --> 00:02:58,444
Everybody here is pro-pie, right?

62
00:02:58,477 --> 00:03:00,613
You're dad is trying to
convince me to arm our son.

63
00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:03,250
This is why I don't like talking to you.

64
00:03:03,282 --> 00:03:05,919
Sweetie, "arming" is
kind of a strong word for

65
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:07,921
going on a fun hunting
trip with your grandpa.

66
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,023
Wait. What? Sorry. You're okay with this?

67
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:12,376
Some of my best childhood
memories are hunting with my dad.

68
00:03:12,392 --> 00:03:15,429
You bond, learn patience,
respect for nature.

69
00:03:15,462 --> 00:03:17,631
Okay, but why does it have
to end with a dead animal?

70
00:03:17,663 --> 00:03:21,601
Because that's the fun part.

71
00:03:21,635 --> 00:03:23,137
And it's a tradition.

72
00:03:23,169 --> 00:03:24,704
It always made me feel really special.

73
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:27,240
I am so sick of these
Baxter family traditions.

74
00:03:27,274 --> 00:03:29,443
Can't we just have totally new traditions?

75
00:03:29,476 --> 00:03:33,413
Maybe you should look up
the definition of tradition.

76
00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:36,150
Look, you can make the call on this one,

77
00:03:36,183 --> 00:03:39,252
and I really don't like
arguing with my dad, so tag.

78
00:03:39,286 --> 00:03:41,588
You're it.

79
00:03:41,620 --> 00:03:43,724
Great, you are not taking
my sweet, innocent son

80
00:03:43,756 --> 00:03:45,591
into the woods to slaughter an animal.

81
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,328
If you tell him he can't go hunting,

82
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:50,163
he's gonna know it was fun, then he'll
resent you for not letting him go.

83
00:03:50,197 --> 00:03:51,398
That's ridiculous.

84
00:03:51,430 --> 00:03:53,100
No, no! Like he would if
he wanted to take ballet.

85
00:03:53,132 --> 00:03:56,502
You say no to that, he'll probably
wear a tutu the rest of his life.

86
00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:58,806
He's already taking ballet lessons.

87
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:01,442
Dear God, let him hunt!

88
00:04:05,311 --> 00:04:09,115
Wow!

89
00:04:09,149 --> 00:04:10,951
Kyle, you've been watching me do this

90
00:04:10,983 --> 00:04:13,286
for the last 20 minutes,
and you keep saying, "Wow."

91
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:17,091
Yeah, because it keeps working!

92
00:04:17,123 --> 00:04:19,292
- Hey, Mom.
- Yeah?

93
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:20,805
Um, will you wrap Boyd's gift for me.

94
00:04:20,827 --> 00:04:22,363
Hey, wait till you see
what your mom can do.

95
00:04:22,396 --> 00:04:24,631
Wow!

96
00:04:24,663 --> 00:04:26,200
- Mandy.
- Yeah?

97
00:04:26,233 --> 00:04:29,502
You're giving your 10-year-old
nephew a deviled egg platter?

98
00:04:29,536 --> 00:04:33,007
No, I'm giving him a flying saucer!

99
00:04:33,039 --> 00:04:35,174
Whooo!

100
00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:39,279
With sleeping pods for 12 aliens.

101
00:04:39,312 --> 00:04:41,281
You don't want to give Boyd
something from your shower.

102
00:04:41,313 --> 00:04:44,650
Uh, yes I do. I just don't want to wrap it.

103
00:04:44,683 --> 00:04:48,222
So, uh, did you and your dad pick out
a song to dance to at the wedding?

104
00:04:48,255 --> 00:04:52,291
No, Mom. Ixnay on the
father-daughter dance...

105
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:54,060
Nay.

106
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:58,298
Okay, what? And why?

107
00:04:58,330 --> 00:05:00,833
Because that leads to talking
about the mother-son dance,

108
00:05:00,866 --> 00:05:02,869
and Kyle doesn't have a mom, Mom.

109
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:04,737
Try to be sensitive.

110
00:05:04,771 --> 00:05:06,607
You are so sweet, Mandy.

111
00:05:08,741 --> 00:05:10,643
But it's okay. I mean, I have a mom.

112
00:05:10,676 --> 00:05:12,712
I just don't know where she is.

113
00:05:12,745 --> 00:05:17,183
It's fine. It's like, um...
like "Where's Waldo," you know?

114
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:21,255
Yeah, but except Waldo's my
mom, and Waldo is hammered.

115
00:05:21,288 --> 00:05:24,258
Kyle, you should get some
time in the spotlight, too.

116
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:26,993
I mean, I'd be happy to dance with you.

117
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,562
Oh, that... No, that's okay.

118
00:05:28,594 --> 00:05:31,065
What? Are you afraid
I might out-dance you?

119
00:05:35,735 --> 00:05:38,172
Mmm, no.

120
00:05:38,204 --> 00:05:40,373
He's not. No one is.

121
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:41,575
Come on.

122
00:05:41,608 --> 00:05:43,744
Come on, Kyle. You deserve this.

123
00:05:43,776 --> 00:05:45,611
You can pick any dance you want.

124
00:05:45,644 --> 00:05:47,413
Come on, you can't say no.

125
00:05:47,447 --> 00:05:52,219
Well, okay, but only if
we can do the Argentinean Tango.

126
00:05:52,252 --> 00:05:54,454
Okay. Uh, I'm game. Is it hard?

127
00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:57,224
Well, if you don't know how to do it, I
mean, maybe this isn't such a good idea.

128
00:05:57,257 --> 00:05:58,559
No, no, no, no, no. No, no. No, no.

129
00:05:58,591 --> 00:05:59,892
I got this, all right.

130
00:05:59,925 --> 00:06:02,495
I learned the chicken dance
in, like, three days, so...

131
00:06:04,663 --> 00:06:07,168
Any chance you want to do
the chicken dance instead?

132
00:06:10,003 --> 00:06:12,106
Oh, boy.

133
00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:14,140
I think this is my favorite
part of the birthday party...

134
00:06:14,174 --> 00:06:16,577
when all your friends are gone.

135
00:06:16,609 --> 00:06:18,912
What is it?

136
00:06:18,945 --> 00:06:22,082
It is a deviled egg tray.

137
00:06:22,114 --> 00:06:25,285
It's for eggs that are evil.

138
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:27,354
- Cool!
- Yeah.

139
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:29,457
I'm gonna open the big one now.

140
00:06:32,491 --> 00:06:34,628
Whoa! It's a gun!

141
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:35,930
Oh, my God!

142
00:06:35,962 --> 00:06:37,630
Mike, what were you thinking?

143
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:41,034
I didn't get him that. I
thought our gift was the yard.

144
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:42,189
Eve, what were you thinking?

145
00:06:42,202 --> 00:06:43,838
I wouldn't give him that baby gun.

146
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,339
I'd give him a
good-old 12-gauge.

147
00:06:45,371 --> 00:06:47,008
You know, something he can grow into.

148
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:51,077
It's from me.

149
00:06:56,986 --> 00:06:59,356
Ryan, you gave Boyd the shotgun?

150
00:06:59,389 --> 00:07:01,458
Yes, I did.

151
00:07:01,490 --> 00:07:05,794
Wow! You spent 10 years
setting up that surprise.

152
00:07:05,827 --> 00:07:07,863
What other surprise do you have?

153
00:07:07,897 --> 00:07:11,200
A "Make America Great Again"
hat filled with pork chops?

154
00:07:11,233 --> 00:07:13,370
Honey, did, uh... did you know about this?

155
00:07:13,402 --> 00:07:15,838
Yes, but he asked me to keep it a secret,

156
00:07:15,872 --> 00:07:17,941
like that time he told me he
thought Sarah Palin was pretty.

157
00:07:17,974 --> 00:07:20,610
- Shh.
- Thanks, Dad.

158
00:07:20,642 --> 00:07:22,811
Your welcome, buddy. Happy birthday.

159
00:07:22,844 --> 00:07:26,048
Wow. Today, a boy in
our family became a man.

160
00:07:26,082 --> 00:07:28,651
Congratulations, Ryan.

161
00:07:29,977 --> 00:07:31,657
Oh, put it down, put it down, put it down.

162
00:07:31,687 --> 00:07:32,955
No. Hey, hey.

163
00:07:32,988 --> 00:07:36,326
You can't touch that until you take
the gun safety class at Outdoor Man.

164
00:07:36,358 --> 00:07:40,829
Where we sell this gun for
a whole bunch less than this.

165
00:07:40,863 --> 00:07:42,298
All right. Well, let's start cleaning up.

166
00:07:42,332 --> 00:07:43,666
Pass.

167
00:07:43,700 --> 00:07:46,135
Okay, well, do it with
me, or do it with Vaness-o.

168
00:07:46,168 --> 00:07:48,904
Okay, Boyd. Let's help.

169
00:07:48,937 --> 00:07:51,507
You did good, honey.

170
00:07:51,541 --> 00:07:53,642
Yeah, you really did.

171
00:07:53,675 --> 00:07:56,646
Uh... sorry. I didn't mean
that to sound so surprised.

172
00:07:59,082 --> 00:08:00,517
What are you up to?

173
00:08:00,550 --> 00:08:03,252
Nothing. I realized you were right.

174
00:08:03,286 --> 00:08:04,821
See, if I don't let Boyd hunt,

175
00:08:04,853 --> 00:08:06,923
it's always gonna be the thing
he wants to do most in his life.

176
00:08:06,955 --> 00:08:09,191
This way, I let him go,
I even get him the gun,

177
00:08:09,224 --> 00:08:11,227
and for once, I'm not the bad guy.

178
00:08:11,260 --> 00:08:14,930
But you're so good at it.

179
00:08:14,964 --> 00:08:18,368
There may be a flaw in your little plan.

180
00:08:18,401 --> 00:08:20,270
You don't want the kid to go hunting.

181
00:08:20,303 --> 00:08:22,238
Oh, he won't.

182
00:08:22,272 --> 00:08:24,039
See, he likes the idea of
hunting, but once there's

183
00:08:24,072 --> 00:08:25,674
an actual living animal in front of him,

184
00:08:25,707 --> 00:08:27,176
he's not gonna be able to pull the trigger.

185
00:08:27,209 --> 00:08:30,046
100 years of Baxter
tradition says you're wrong.

186
00:08:30,079 --> 00:08:31,448
He's not gonna hunt, Mike.

187
00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,682
Well, I say he will.

188
00:08:33,715 --> 00:08:35,351
And we'll figure out who's the winner

189
00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:38,220
when we're cooking up
that pheasant he and I bag.

190
00:08:38,253 --> 00:08:42,459
Oh, no. I am going with you 'cause I
cannot wait to see that look on your face

191
00:08:42,492 --> 00:08:47,063
when he ends the Baxter tradition of
blowing holes in living creatures.

192
00:08:47,095 --> 00:08:48,931
All right, all right. Even better.

193
00:08:48,964 --> 00:08:51,300
That way, we won't be just bagging a bird,

194
00:08:51,334 --> 00:08:53,036
we'll be shooting down
your hopes and dreams,

195
00:08:53,069 --> 00:08:55,272
and that's what I will
be having for dinner.

196
00:08:59,007 --> 00:09:00,243
Here we go.

197
00:09:00,276 --> 00:09:02,078
Thank you so much for the dance lesson, Ed.

198
00:09:02,110 --> 00:09:03,979
Am I your first student?

199
00:09:04,012 --> 00:09:05,547
Oh, no.

200
00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:12,321
I once taught a Russian bear how to dance...
against it's will.

201
00:09:12,354 --> 00:09:17,760
Well, I will try to "bear"
with you without "Russian" it.

202
00:09:17,794 --> 00:09:21,597
I still have Mishka's muzzle, so
don't make me use it, all right?

203
00:09:21,631 --> 00:09:23,800
I brought my music.

204
00:09:23,833 --> 00:09:27,904
Your music means nothing to me, all right?

205
00:09:27,936 --> 00:09:29,605
We start with fundamentals.

206
00:09:29,638 --> 00:09:30,906
Oh, but I just need to learn...

207
00:09:30,940 --> 00:09:33,575
Mnh-mnh.

208
00:09:33,608 --> 00:09:36,112
Feet move, lips do not.

209
00:09:36,145 --> 00:09:37,314
We begin.

210
00:09:37,347 --> 00:09:40,016
Square up. That's it.

211
00:09:40,049 --> 00:09:42,752
Slide your foot, just step.

212
00:09:42,785 --> 00:09:44,288
No.

213
00:09:45,521 --> 00:09:49,092
All right, turn your hips just slightly.

214
00:09:49,124 --> 00:09:51,960
No.

215
00:09:51,993 --> 00:09:53,095
Am I getting it?

216
00:09:53,128 --> 00:09:55,598
No.

217
00:09:55,631 --> 00:09:57,267
Look, let's try, perhaps,
a little movement.

218
00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:58,034
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- A little movement.

219
00:09:58,066 --> 00:09:59,768
Simple box step.

220
00:09:59,801 --> 00:10:01,271
Oh, I can do simple. Okay,
yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

221
00:10:01,304 --> 00:10:02,372
Box step, all right.

222
00:10:02,405 --> 00:10:06,041
Ready, and one and ow!

223
00:10:06,075 --> 00:10:07,276
One and...

224
00:10:07,310 --> 00:10:09,212
And three and aah!

225
00:10:09,244 --> 00:10:11,013
Okay.

226
00:10:11,046 --> 00:10:14,550
For the love of God, woman!

227
00:10:14,584 --> 00:10:16,219
Am I that bad?

228
00:10:16,252 --> 00:10:18,988
Not only can I not help
you, I may never dance again.

229
00:10:21,224 --> 00:10:22,658
If I can't do the simple stuff,

230
00:10:22,691 --> 00:10:24,960
how am I ever gonna learn
the Argentinean Tango?

231
00:10:24,993 --> 00:10:27,531
The Argentinean Tango?!

232
00:10:29,098 --> 00:10:31,501
That's the most complicated
dance in the world.

233
00:10:32,602 --> 00:10:34,838
People have gone mad trying to learn it.

234
00:10:34,871 --> 00:10:37,906
Why would Kyle give me a
dance he knows I can't learn?

235
00:10:37,940 --> 00:10:40,676
Just a guess, maybe he really
didn't want to dance with you.

236
00:10:40,709 --> 00:10:42,644
He could've just said "No" when I offered.

237
00:10:42,677 --> 00:10:44,246
He just didn't want to hurt your feelings.

238
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,216
You know, he's like that.

239
00:10:46,248 --> 00:10:48,584
But I'm not.

240
00:10:48,618 --> 00:10:51,988
You are the worst dancer I have ever seen.

241
00:10:52,021 --> 00:10:55,224
- No, I...
- Be gone, woman!

242
00:10:55,257 --> 00:10:57,259
Please. Please.

243
00:11:03,632 --> 00:11:06,368
This is called flushing out the bird.

244
00:11:06,401 --> 00:11:08,271
Stay alert. They could
fly up at any minute.

245
00:11:08,304 --> 00:11:12,608
But it's not safe to shoot until
I only see blue sky behind it.

246
00:11:12,642 --> 00:11:14,777
You were paying attention
during all of those courses.

247
00:11:14,810 --> 00:11:17,946
That's great because you'll probably
be hunting for the rest of your life.

248
00:11:17,979 --> 00:11:21,183
Or gathering 'cause that's
also a lifetime of fun.

249
00:11:21,217 --> 00:11:25,021
Hunters also gather.
It's called a barbecue.

250
00:11:25,054 --> 00:11:28,525
Hey, Boyd. Do you know the male pheasant
has a big role in raising the babies.

251
00:11:28,557 --> 00:11:31,093
That means it's like the bird
version of me, you, and Mom.

252
00:11:31,127 --> 00:11:34,363
The bird version of you is you.

253
00:11:34,397 --> 00:11:36,031
Do you see something, Grandpa?

254
00:11:36,065 --> 00:11:38,133
Now, pheasant have very keen hearing.

255
00:11:38,166 --> 00:11:41,738
They heard us walking, but they
get real nervous when we stop.

256
00:11:41,771 --> 00:11:43,106
This is when they like to flush.

257
00:11:43,138 --> 00:11:47,142
You see, they get nervous because
they have an array of emotions.

258
00:11:48,411 --> 00:11:49,651
He's coming up. He's coming up.

259
00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:51,648
It's a living creature.

260
00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:53,583
Track the bird, track
the bird. Track the bird.

261
00:11:53,616 --> 00:11:55,651
Connect with its spirit.

262
00:11:58,320 --> 00:11:59,656
I can't.

263
00:11:59,689 --> 00:12:00,723
I'm sorry, Grandpa.

264
00:12:00,756 --> 00:12:02,125
That's okay. That's just fine.

265
00:12:02,157 --> 00:12:03,493
- Don't worry about it.
- Yes!

266
00:12:03,526 --> 00:12:05,094
I knew it.

267
00:12:05,127 --> 00:12:08,231
And thanks to you, that bird
gets to live to see another day.

268
00:12:13,134 --> 00:12:15,375
I did mention we're not the
only hunters out here, right?

269
00:12:23,813 --> 00:12:26,783
I told Boyd to journal
about our big trip today.

270
00:12:26,815 --> 00:12:29,118
It's gonna make an amazing entry.

271
00:12:29,151 --> 00:12:30,987
Oh, yeah, that part about nothing happened.

272
00:12:31,020 --> 00:12:33,490
That's gonna jump right off the page.

273
00:12:33,522 --> 00:12:34,791
Oh, something happened.

274
00:12:34,824 --> 00:12:36,859
You lost, and it's driving you crazy.

275
00:12:36,892 --> 00:12:38,795
You know, I wish I could get you someplace

276
00:12:38,828 --> 00:12:42,131
where it's just you
and blue sky behind you.

277
00:12:42,164 --> 00:12:48,137
A barbaric-Baxter tradition died today,
and Boyd killed it... with peace.

278
00:12:48,170 --> 00:12:50,507
I'm really proud of him
even if you're disappointed.

279
00:12:50,540 --> 00:12:52,608
I'm not disappointed in him!

280
00:12:52,642 --> 00:12:55,277
The kid made a choice,
and I'm good with that.

281
00:12:55,310 --> 00:12:58,180
Well, now it's not as fun.

282
00:12:58,214 --> 00:13:02,017
I just want Boyd to be who he wants
to be, not who I want him to be.

283
00:13:02,050 --> 00:13:07,055
But I get the idea had he taken that
shot, you might have freaked out.

284
00:13:07,089 --> 00:13:09,291
Please, I think when it
comes to being understanding,

285
00:13:09,325 --> 00:13:11,761
I can pull myself up to Mike Baxter level.

286
00:13:13,161 --> 00:13:17,567
You know, I'm glad you're not right very
often 'cause it's really hard to take.

287
00:13:17,599 --> 00:13:19,969
Yeah, a Baxter didn't
want to hunt. What's next?

288
00:13:20,002 --> 00:13:21,371
A woman president?

289
00:13:21,403 --> 00:13:24,073
Hey, Boyd, it's time to
leave. Your dad's got to go.

290
00:13:30,378 --> 00:13:33,081
Kyle.

291
00:13:33,114 --> 00:13:35,584
Kyle!

292
00:13:37,118 --> 00:13:39,221
Hey, Mrs. B. This is so cool.

293
00:13:39,254 --> 00:13:41,957
Even on Mr. B.'s day off, I still get a B.

294
00:13:43,725 --> 00:13:46,828
Uh... I wanted to talk to you, Kyle.

295
00:13:46,862 --> 00:13:49,732
Um... if you didn't want
to dance with me because

296
00:13:49,765 --> 00:13:53,036
you thought I might embarrass
you, you could've just told me.

297
00:13:53,069 --> 00:13:54,237
What?

298
00:13:54,270 --> 00:13:56,839
No, I love how you dance.

299
00:13:56,872 --> 00:14:00,776
I mean, everyone stops and stares.

300
00:14:00,810 --> 00:14:03,046
It's like they can't look away.

301
00:14:03,079 --> 00:14:05,582
Yeah. I just
do what the music tells me.

302
00:14:06,882 --> 00:14:12,622
So, uh... So... So, why did you pick a
dance you knew neither of us could do?

303
00:14:12,655 --> 00:14:18,294
Well, because I didn't want to
have to do that dance at all.

304
00:14:18,326 --> 00:14:20,262
Why not?

305
00:14:20,296 --> 00:14:22,031
Look, I know I talk about her a lot,

306
00:14:22,064 --> 00:14:23,599
but...

307
00:14:23,632 --> 00:14:26,502
...my mom really wasn't as
great as I make her sound.

308
00:14:27,969 --> 00:14:32,642
So, the stories you tell
about her are the good ones?

309
00:14:32,675 --> 00:14:34,710
She wasn't always there for me.

310
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:40,983
And a mother-son dance without my mother
would just be another reminder of that.

311
00:14:41,017 --> 00:14:44,954
On my wedding, I... I just want to
be thinking about how lucky I am.

312
00:14:48,623 --> 00:14:51,326
I wish I was you mother, Kyle.

313
00:14:51,359 --> 00:14:55,130
Uh, I don't think so.

314
00:14:55,164 --> 00:15:00,570
Living on government handouts isn't as
glamorous as Mr. B. makes it sound.

315
00:15:00,603 --> 00:15:04,940
I mean, I wish I could have raised you

316
00:15:04,974 --> 00:15:08,911
because I wouldn't have
missed one precious second

317
00:15:08,944 --> 00:15:11,615
of being with a wonderful boy like you.

318
00:15:15,017 --> 00:15:17,653
There's gonna be a
little salt in the coffee.

319
00:15:21,323 --> 00:15:23,358
Thank you, Mrs. B.

320
00:15:23,392 --> 00:15:27,363
I'm really lucky.

321
00:15:27,396 --> 00:15:31,099
You know, I am really lucky.

322
00:15:31,132 --> 00:15:34,936
And that's what I can think
about during our dance.

323
00:15:34,969 --> 00:15:35,971
You mean you want to do it?

324
00:15:36,004 --> 00:15:36,972
Yeah, heck yeah.

325
00:15:37,006 --> 00:15:39,475
But only if we can do your dance.

326
00:15:39,507 --> 00:15:40,709
Do you think you could teach me?

327
00:15:40,743 --> 00:15:44,147
The music will teach you, Kyle.

328
00:15:44,180 --> 00:15:47,282
Just let's... let's see what it has to say.

329
00:15:52,188 --> 00:15:54,123
We begin.

330
00:15:56,000 --> 00:16:02,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

331
00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:16,680
Looks like two dogs trying
to get back in a boat.

332
00:16:24,552 --> 00:16:26,321
Hey.

333
00:16:26,354 --> 00:16:29,091
Hey! There are my hunters. Any luck?

334
00:16:29,124 --> 00:16:32,094
Oh, yeah. We got absolutely nothing.

335
00:16:32,127 --> 00:16:33,829
Boyd decided he didn't
want to shoot that bird.

336
00:16:33,863 --> 00:16:35,098
High-five again, buddy.

337
00:16:35,131 --> 00:16:37,567
My hand hurts.

338
00:16:37,599 --> 00:16:40,536
That's because they're the hands
of an artist, and not a killer.

339
00:16:40,569 --> 00:16:43,506
Either way, you still need
to wash them before we eat.

340
00:16:43,539 --> 00:16:44,699
Oh, and here's the best part.

341
00:16:44,706 --> 00:16:47,008
We can trade in that gun now for
something that you really want.

342
00:16:47,041 --> 00:16:48,543
No, it's okay.

343
00:16:48,576 --> 00:16:51,613
No, we can get you that bike
that you've been talking about.

344
00:16:51,647 --> 00:16:54,150
No, I want to keep the gun.

345
00:17:01,289 --> 00:17:02,758
Hey, Mike.

346
00:17:02,792 --> 00:17:04,928
What? Did you run out of
kale over at your house?

347
00:17:08,998 --> 00:17:10,132
No.

348
00:17:10,165 --> 00:17:12,400
Actually, it turns out that Boyd did want

349
00:17:12,433 --> 00:17:14,970
to shoot that bird, but
he didn't want to upset me.

350
00:17:15,004 --> 00:17:17,240
You don't say.

351
00:17:17,273 --> 00:17:21,276
Yeah, so, not only am I not freaking
out like you said I was going to,

352
00:17:21,309 --> 00:17:24,212
I'd like you to take him hunting again.

353
00:17:24,246 --> 00:17:26,149
Okay.

354
00:17:27,915 --> 00:17:29,955
You drove all the way over
here to ask me a question

355
00:17:29,985 --> 00:17:32,121
you already knew the answer to.

356
00:17:32,153 --> 00:17:34,723
Yeah, 'cause I wanted to
see the look on your face

357
00:17:34,757 --> 00:17:38,094
when you saw that I was cool with it.

358
00:17:42,297 --> 00:17:46,568
So, you, uh... want to say anything to me?

359
00:17:46,602 --> 00:17:53,176
Not unless you have a nine-letter
word that means ballet step.

360
00:17:53,209 --> 00:17:56,278
It's pirouette, and come on, Mike.

361
00:17:56,312 --> 00:17:57,780
Aren't you gonna give
me a little bit of credit

362
00:17:57,813 --> 00:17:59,681
for not being disappointed in my son?

363
00:17:59,715 --> 00:18:01,284
No.

364
00:18:01,316 --> 00:18:02,517
Why not?

365
00:18:02,551 --> 00:18:05,288
Because you are.

366
00:18:06,521 --> 00:18:08,323
Yes, I am.

367
00:18:08,356 --> 00:18:10,593
I mean, it is killing me.

368
00:18:10,625 --> 00:18:12,795
Why weren't you disappointed
when he didn't want to hunt?

369
00:18:12,827 --> 00:18:14,463
Damn, it is pirouette!

370
00:18:16,899 --> 00:18:18,301
And who says I wasn't?

371
00:18:18,334 --> 00:18:19,435
You did.

372
00:18:19,468 --> 00:18:22,505
Hey, I lied.

373
00:18:22,537 --> 00:18:25,708
You think I want to get my ass up at
the crack of dawn just to watch Boyd

374
00:18:25,740 --> 00:18:28,477
wander through the forest like that?

375
00:18:28,509 --> 00:18:30,478
I am not supposed to be
disappointed in my son.

376
00:18:30,511 --> 00:18:32,180
What kind of dad does that make me?

377
00:18:32,213 --> 00:18:34,816
It makes you just like the rest of us.

378
00:18:34,850 --> 00:18:36,485
The fact that we love out kids even though

379
00:18:36,517 --> 00:18:40,122
they disappoint us is proof
that we're good parents.

380
00:18:40,154 --> 00:18:42,391
And also the reason why
we die 12 years sooner

381
00:18:42,423 --> 00:18:45,795
than people that don't have kids.

382
00:18:45,827 --> 00:18:47,363
Wait. Is that true?

383
00:18:47,395 --> 00:18:49,731
I hope so.

384
00:18:49,765 --> 00:18:52,668
So, you're telling me you've
been disappointed in your kids?

385
00:18:53,699 --> 00:18:55,637
I'm the Outdoor Man.

386
00:18:55,671 --> 00:18:59,041
One of my daughters is a musician, the
other one makes clothes in the basement,

387
00:18:59,074 --> 00:19:02,277
and the other one is married to you.

388
00:19:03,946 --> 00:19:06,516
Oof, those first two really let you down.

389
00:19:10,411 --> 00:19:11,891
I just thought I had a sensitive son.

390
00:19:11,921 --> 00:19:12,921
You do have a sensitive son.

391
00:19:12,955 --> 00:19:14,423
He was out in the forest protecting

392
00:19:14,456 --> 00:19:18,661
the most delicate
creature out there... you.

393
00:19:18,693 --> 00:19:20,930
That's a sensitive boy.

394
00:19:20,962 --> 00:19:23,999
Yeah, I guess he was, wasn't he?

395
00:19:24,033 --> 00:19:25,935
I hate that he wants to do this,

396
00:19:25,968 --> 00:19:28,771
but I guess I can't
force my opinions on him.

397
00:19:28,804 --> 00:19:31,841
That's what makes you a good dad.

398
00:19:31,873 --> 00:19:33,942
Whoa, did you just call me a good dad?

399
00:19:36,245 --> 00:19:38,381
I lied.

400
00:19:39,448 --> 00:19:41,717
Ah!

401
00:19:41,749 --> 00:19:43,184
Dad, chop-chop.

402
00:19:43,218 --> 00:19:44,519
We got to rehearse that wedding dance.

403
00:19:44,553 --> 00:19:48,057
I added a booty bump during the rap
medley so... let's go.

404
00:19:49,624 --> 00:19:51,594
Booty bump, huh?

405
00:19:51,626 --> 00:19:54,396
I'm a really good dad.

406
00:19:59,737 --> 00:20:01,940
Hey, there. Mike Baxter
here for Outdoor Man.

407
00:20:01,972 --> 00:20:03,574
I know what you're thinking.

408
00:20:03,606 --> 00:20:07,045
"Mike, you taught us hunting,
and fishing, and climbing.

409
00:20:07,077 --> 00:20:11,648
When are you gonna teach us
quantum electro-dynamics?"

410
00:20:11,681 --> 00:20:14,218
Maybe I already have.

411
00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:16,286
Let me explain.

412
00:20:16,319 --> 00:20:20,591
When a beam of light hits the water,
no matter what angle of entry,

413
00:20:20,623 --> 00:20:24,228
light always takes the path
that requires the shortest time.

414
00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:26,730
Richard Feynman taught us that.

415
00:20:26,764 --> 00:20:29,233
How does light know the shortcut?

416
00:20:29,266 --> 00:20:32,003
It's like it's already done it.

417
00:20:32,036 --> 00:20:33,904
Like it's already happened.

418
00:20:36,140 --> 00:20:38,943
Light is pretty creepy.

419
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:41,512
And very predictable.

420
00:20:41,545 --> 00:20:43,748
Our kids, not so much.

421
00:20:43,780 --> 00:20:46,350
No matter how hard we try
to bend them to our will,

422
00:20:46,383 --> 00:20:49,586
we have no idea where those little
rays of light are gonna go.

423
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:51,488
But that's okay.

424
00:20:51,521 --> 00:20:53,490
Take the case of Jack Reagan...

425
00:20:53,524 --> 00:20:57,428
A heavy drinker and even worse, a Democrat.

426
00:20:57,460 --> 00:20:59,463
One night, his son Ronnie
has to lift his father

427
00:20:59,497 --> 00:21:01,532
out of the snow and lug him into the house.

428
00:21:01,565 --> 00:21:03,101
Ugh!

429
00:21:03,133 --> 00:21:07,805
Even back then, Democrats expected
someone else to carry them.

430
00:21:07,837 --> 00:21:12,010
The good news for our country,
Ronald Reagan was nothing like Jack.

431
00:21:12,043 --> 00:21:14,277
Yeah, sometimes the worst
thing that can happen

432
00:21:14,311 --> 00:21:18,016
is when a son turns out to be like his dad.

433
00:21:18,048 --> 00:21:21,151
Just look at that fat
kid who runs North Korea.

433
00:21:22,305 --> 00:21:28,309
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