I'd rather do this in a back alley or somewhere.
You watch too many movies.
The cash.
Yeah, your product's great,
but I can't afford your prices anymore.
Price is non-negotiable.
What were you thinking, David --
banning my students from the school?
This is not the time or place.
$12,000 a kilo, Lampard. Non-negotiable.
Oh, my God.
You two are -- you won't get away with this.
This school is no longer a school for troubled youth, as you call it,
and you no longer work here.
Look -- my body will heal.
It's about my students.
These kids, they come from foster homes.
A lot of them have a-arrest records.
They can't afford normal trade school,
never mind culinary school.
I was giving them a second chance.
We're about to open a restaurant at the school,
give them job opportunities.
Now they have nowhere to go.
And all this so Lampard can Jack up the tuition costs?
He says nobody cares about the art,
that they all just want to be celebrity chefs,
get their own TV show.
He's charging 30 grand tuition,
promising folks they can become rock-star chefs or something.
This doesn't explain the beating that you took.
I'm pretty sure Lampard's dealing drugs.
How do you know?
I walked in on him and a couple of guys.
They exchanged a briefcase full of cash for a big duffel bag.
Did -- did you see any drugs?
I did hear someone say the price was $12,000 a kilo.
Cocaine. Cocaine.
Can you help me?
I know what you're gonna say, Nate,
but I want to tell you something about Toby.
He taught me how to use a knife.
Use a knife? No. Not use a knife.
He taught me how to cook.
I was out of the service, and I was working for my second PMC.
And the jobs we were taking were way across the line --
past extractions and security actions.
Wetwork.
Yeah.
Anyway, I met Toby. We were reconning this restaurant in Belgium.
And I should have closed him out.
I should have been in and out in under 90 seconds.
But I ended up talking to him for three hours.
He showed me that I could use my knife
to create instead of destroy.
I stuck around for a couple of months.
He taught me everything there was about the art of food, and I...
He's one of the guys that kept me from falling all the way down.
So now, I'm asking the other guy
to understand why I'm gonna help him.
Subtitles edited by Ehhhhtozebec
Hey. You seem kind of down lately, girl.
What's up? Talk to me.
Hardison -- delivery! Well, I feel --
Oh, that's my stuff.
Yeah.
You know, I usually have to order these from Holland.
But they have a store right here in Portland, man.
Whoa.
What?
You got to tip the guy. For doing his job?
Hardison, he rode all the way over here on a bike to deliver your...
That ain't nothing special. He got some exercise.
...Dungeons & Dragons crap you ordered.
He didn't bring me no cupcakes, no flowers, cards -- nothing.
You want a tip, little Stanley Tucci-looking...
Boom, boom, boom.
Two quarters, two pennies. Go buy your mama something.
Oh, this town rocks.
Who would have known that you can get a negative ion capacitor here?
Seriously.
Okay, Sophie is still at the theater,
doing whatever she's doing, so let's just do this.
All right.
David Lampard. He's a former chef.
He wanted to be like an Emeril or Mario Batali,
but he couldn't cut it in the big kitchens,
so he turned to investing.
He takes over cooking schools that need help.
He charges ridiculous tuition,
but he offers loans at a bargain interest rate of 30%.
Now, if people can't pay,
he takes their cars, their homes, whatever.
I mean, he's basically a loan shark, but the legal kind.
I mean, all his accounts are legit.
All the money's in the right spots.
Okay, yeah, but according to Eliot's friend,
it's not about money. It's about drugs.
You see, Lampard took three trips to France in the last six months,
which, for a guy in the food biz, is not weird
except for the fact that, according to his GPS,
he never spent any time in the food world.
Where was he?
Out in the middle of nowhere, under bridges, in back alleys.
So, what? They're bringing drugs in from France?
He's probably buying them wholesale from the French
and then shipping them here.
Yeah, but, I mean, it doesn't surprise me that his accounts are clean.
I mean, dealers don't hide their money in accounts.
So, where are they hiding it?
Safest place they know -- right next to their stash.
So what we got to do is we got to steal the stash,
forcing Lampard to give the new restaurant
and the school back to Toby heath.
Sophie, we need you to come in.
Nate, we're in the middle of a Meisner exercise.
You're happy.
I'm happy.
You're happy. I'm happy.
Glad everyone's happy. Um, your day job needs you.
Oh, God, did I do it wrong?
No, no, no, no, no, no. You're fine.
I just have these... voices in my head.
Take five, everybody.
45.
I know it's short notice,
but our celebrity chef just dropped out,
and the network think you're a perfect replacement
for the U.S. launch.
The show is called "From Pole to Plate: Cooking with Strippers."
- Hmm? - But we haven't sorted the accommodation yet,
so you'd have to live with the strippers to start off with.
Hell, yeah. I hope that's not gonna be a...
Ah, Nate, one teaching chef cleared out.
Great. Okay, now, Hardison, remember,
the objective here is to blend in.
But we need to find out where Lampard keeps his money and drugs.
No worries, Nate.
Man, my focus is like a -- laser! Oh!
Squiggles. Yeah!
We got a class-four laser.
Oh, liquid nitrogen tubes, cryo gun.
It's going down.
This is why you're all here, right?
Daddy took away my beemer until I get some kind of degree.
I want to start an organic restaurant
that's only open on the vernal equinox.
The hell's an equinox?
I'm just sick of the way my husband looks at Marta,
our housekeeper, when she's cooking.
All right, everybody, listen up.
Come down to table two, line up.
The chef that was gonna be with you today
has booked another gig, so I am your new instructor.
What's your name?
Chef.
This is not a class about cooking.
Doesn't have anything to do with temperatures.
All right, it's not about measurements.
It has nothing to do with what ingredients go with what.
W-w-what are you doing?
I'm texting Sydney.
We're supposed to go shopping after the --
Food is life.
Food...is life.
Food is life. What is food?
Food is life?
Food is life. Learn it.
You will take this class seriously.
Because if you don't,
I'll throw your ass out of here quicker than you --
I get to fire a laser.
Yeah.
Geeking in the kitchen. Uh, make you want to dance.
We're here to cook food, not play with lasers.
Why is Eliot so "Aah!" about food?
It's his passion.
You okay?
How, um -- how do you like being in Portland?
It's fine.
Hardison and I are fine,
and everything with the new leverage is fine.
Parker, what's going on?
I just -- I don't have a thing.
What do you mean, "a thing"?
Eliot has a thing. He loves food.
Sophie loves theater.
You have a sicko love of controlling people.
I don't have a sicko love --
Let's stay on you.
Art. What do you -- what do you see
when you look at Michelangelo's David?
Mark two laser grid around it, infrared on the floor,
need a harness rated for six tons attached to a chopper
to lift it out through a skylight.
Eliot, Hardison, how are we doing?
Nate, I already swept the kitchen twice. There's no drugs.
Did you find anything?
I think I did, man.
Check it out.
What?
Wha-- what? What?!
Hey. Think about it.
Levitating food could replace waiters.
I will stab you in the neck.
Don't hate the barbecue. Hate the sides.
I'm gonna make one more sweep. I suggest you do the same.
Everybody, keep doing what you're doing.
I'll be right back. Well, I'm-a --
I'm gonna hit the head -- or the -- uh, the bathroom,
or what-- whatever y'all call it in cooking school.
It's a culinary institute.
Culinary food and school institute, got it.
You're screwing this up!
My damn gun.
Sorry.
Nate, I've checked every kitchen and refrigerator in...
Wait a minute.
What are you doing in here?
I was, uh... I was looking for some ice.
The, uh, well, ice machine got busted.
Well, this freezer's off-limits. Okay.
I'll check the ice machine. All right.
Mr. Lampard would like to see you in his kitchen.
Found him.
He was looking for ice.
Oh, there you are.
Listen, I need an executive chef for the new restaurant,
and I want it to be you.
You haven't even tasted my food.
Well, taste is overrated.
Trust me. Food is all about the hype.
People pay 100 bucks for a burger
because they think it's from a Japanese cow.
It's the sizzle that sells, and I like your sizzle.
This whole ninja vibe you've got going on.
Customers are gonna love it.
Listen, my students, they're --
they're not ready to put food out.
Hey, they're paying 30 g's to go to this school.
Any one of them could be the next culinary superstar.
Did you glue this to the plate?
You don't decorate the plate.
Don't harsh my mellow.
Yeah, I don't know about that.
Just put together a good menu,
don't kill me on the food costs, and do your act.
Maybe kick a customer or two out of the restaurant.
But not on opening night -- that has to go perfectly.
You're not li--
Jean-Luc is here.
Go back to the kitchen.
I told him I didn't want to meet here anymore.
Jean-Luc, I said not here.
When I have product, you take delivery.
Nate, it's not drugs Lampard's dealing.
It's bigger. It's a lot bigger.
Oh, yeah? Well, if it's not drugs, what is it?
Truffles.
It's the French winter truffle.
Blackmarket on these things are off the charts.
You can't grow 'em, you can't make 'em, they just...
..appear, like mushrooms.
High-end restaurants'll pay 5, upto 6 grand a pound.
13 grand a kilo wholesale, cocain's what 12 a key and,
- heroine's.. 18? - less than that in Mexico
a little more in South-East Asia.
So, truffles are the cocaine of the food world.
When I was walking by those guys, they had a bag.
And I smelled it.
Nothing smells like a French truffle.
Lampard's selling them to restaurants, others chefs.
Him and Jean-Luc are splitting the profit.
What now? Cocaine or truffles, the play's the same.
We got to find out where he's hiding them.
I was in the refrigerator.
That's where Rampone found me.
Actually, he called it a freezer. Said it was off-limits.
Off-limits? Yeah, in a cooking school.
That's where they are.
Sophie, we're gonna run a version
of the white van speakers.
Your acting students -- uh...
Do you think they can handle it?
Of course they can. They're my students.
What was that?
It's just Zachary getting to his authentic place.
I'm gonna turn this place from a microbrewery into a gastropub.
What do you think about that?
Teach me to like stuff.
Parker, I don't have time for this, all right?
I got to get this stuff done.
Then I got to get back to the school.
So, I filled the ink cartridges with orange juice,
and I ran a sheet of potato starch through the printer, and voila...
Edible paper.
It's delicious.
Now...goggles.
Place the paper right here,
and when I fire the laser at it,
it will create a vapor
that is going to float and rise into the inverted wine glasses.
I don't think chef scary guy is gonna like this.
He said we were just supposed to prep till he gets here.
Okay. Excuse you, miss thing. I am prepping.
I am prepping a citrus wine complement with a laser.
Hi.
If you're looking for chef, he's running late.
Rawr!
Sure are a lot of shifty people around here.
Oh, Mr. Rampone? Yes?
Looks like you've got competition in the male cougar department.
Yeah, man, he was just here, looking all kinds of shifty.
What do you mean, "shifty?"
What do you mean, what do I mean?
Sh-sh-shifty. It's just -- like you. Shifty.
Like, dressed in black, everything -- shifty.
Goggles.
Who are you?
Oh, hello. Gnar Slabdash.
The "N" is mostly silent.
What are you doing in here?
Boss, some of the guys saw a... guy sneaking around.
Good work, Rampone.
Mister...
Uh, Slabdash. Um, I'm a food mover.
What exactly are you saying?
I think you know exactly what I'm saying.
Spell it out.
Well, if you want to make a smoothie,
you need to make sure that you're gonna blend the right fruit, yes?
You're not very good at spelling.
I deal in certain food products that certain
high-end restaurants find extremely valuable.
You offering me a deal
on some kind of a rare fruit, like a cherimoya?
Oh, no. I-I actually don't get out of the tub for cherimoya.
No. Truffles -- looking to move truffles.
Black winter -- looking to move them fast and quick.
Interested?
I have plenty. Let me ask you something.
Are you still getting them from France?
Is Napoléon bringing them to you on his horse?
Napoléon's dead.
Thank you, Rampone.
Where else am I supposed to get French truffles from?
Forget it, Lampard. I thought you were living in the modern world.
I'm in the wrong place.
I'm going out for a while.
It's just food.
It's not just food, all right?
Some people could look at it and see just food, but not me.
I see art.
When I'm in the kitchen,
I'm -- I'm creating something out of nothing.
You know what I mean?
And sometimes, I crush it. Sometimes, it's crap.
But either way, it makes me feel something.
Feel what?
Just...feel.
Feel. Okay.
You know, I didn't feel anything for a long time,
and Toby taught me how to cook,
and after he did, I started to feel stuff again.
That's why I share it through my food.
This is my art. This is my art, Parker.
It's like letting a stranger in your head just for a second.
And you allow them to feel what you're feeling.
Look again.
The climate, the land...
This is France.
Oh, Lampard.
This your land, mister, uh...?
Gnar Slabdash. The "N" is mostly silent.
No, actually, the land here,
it belongs to this lovely creature -- Rebecca Wambach.
David Lampard.
Are you a friend of Gnar's?
I'm working on it.
May I see it? The truffle?
Oh, this? Sure.
Thank you.
This is a French truffle.
Except we're in Oregon.
Are there others?
A few. Thousands of them.
I thought you said you had plenty.
One can never have enough truffles.
You see, that's why I'm donating these to the local co-ops.
She might, uh, you know, take a few and sell them
and -- and use the proceeds to do something for the locals,
like open up another bookstore.
No, these truffles belong to the city of Portland.
You know, that's what I did back in the U.K., see?
Yeah -- open-source food. That's what it's all about these days.
Rebecca, darling, lovely, uh, I --
If my new friend and I could just have a word.
Oh, right.
I'll go and check on my crooknecks, then.
This is your modern world -- ripping off some hippie chick.
Okay.
How much land does she have?
Uh, 16,000 acres.
And how much has truffles growing on it?
16,000 acres.
Get me 20 pounds by tonight, I'll pay you five grand.
Hmm. Do you know what my, um -- my first squash teacher told me?
If you're gonna play with a broken racquet,
take care to lob your shots.
Does that mean you're in?
No, actually, it doesn't mean I'm in.
It means that you need to pay fair market price
if you want my truffles.
$2,000 a pound.
Well, I can see
I can't pull one over on you, mister, uh...
Slabdash. It's Gnar Slabdash.
The "N" is --
Mostly silent, yeah.
$40,000. Three hours.
Oh, and um, if you...
Thank you.
16 pounds is all I could get.
A former student of mine in Seattle gave me all he had.
Has to take truffles off his menu for a while.
Ahh. He'll get them back with interest.
Okay, so once Lampard buys these from us,
we'll track where he keeps his French truffles and his cash.
Everything all set with your students?
Yes. It's gonna be Tony-worthy.
Well, I hope it's grifter-worthy.
Hardison, how are we doing back there?
We are good. The camera's operational.
No matter where he hides those truffles, we'll see it.
Okay. Wish me luck.
Listen, I don't trust Lampard or Rampone, so be careful.
I'm always careful.
If I keep this idiot on a leash --
selling truffles at half their value --
I can cut out Jean-Luc and the frogs for good.
Let's see the merch.
Doesn't look like 20 pounds.
Let me see the cash.
Doesn't look like $40,000.
Well, you can count it after I weigh your bag.
Now, my guess is as good as any scale.
And you're light.
Almost an eighth of a pound.
That's, uh... that's remarkable.
Thank you. I'll take it anyway.
Can I have the cash, please?
Hey, drop by the restaurant tomorrow night.
I'll give you the friends-and-family discount.
Yeah, I'm taking Ms. Wambach to dinner, so...
Bring her along.
You can try one of our new signature black truffle dishes.
Okay, what do we got?
Well, they're just coming in now.
Okay, open it up, Rampone.
Okay, we're gonna do this when Lampard's distracted --
tomorrow night, opening night of the restaurant.
To-- how are we gonna do that?
He's gonna be all over that kitchen.
Well, not if a food critic is there.
I'm on it.
But you know Sophie burned her I.D. with the truffle hippie.
Parker can do it.
No, I can't. I don't even like food.
Except for chocolate and doughnuts.
Listen to me, Parker, you can do it, all right?
Remember everything that we talked about.
Nate, she can do it.
Yeah, okay. So, Parker, you're the food critic.
I give you the foodie queen.
I can make or break a restaurant with just one review?
Now, no one knows what the foodie queen looks like,
except for this weird birthmark on her wrist, and this.
Ah. Nice.
Wait -- wait a minute.
If Parker's on the floor, Eliot's in the kitchen...
Yeah. ...Who's on the safe?
No. Mnh-mnh. No, no.
You are not tearing me away from my molecular gastronomy genius.
I think not.
It's what we were counting on.
You can count on something else.
Everyone, you know, has to have a role, yeah.
I got a laser.
Do you hear that? What is that?
I-I can't believe you think that I would do something like that!
I mean, we have been together for three years now.
Three years.
And apparently, that has meant absolutely nothing to you.
I thought that we had a bond of trust, and apparently --
What's going on here?
Huh? Oh, oh, oh! It's very exciting.
She's accusing him of cheating on her with her sister-in-law.
Yes, but the truth is, he's in love with her brother
who works as a longshoreman on the same docks
where Kitty Dukakis once slapped a drag queen in a fit of --
Oh, I'm sor-- I get it.
They're acting students of yours.
I see. Yes! Yes. Nate, we're working on character
and their backgrounds and their motivation, everyone.
Good job.
Oh, Nate, you know that the core of good acting
comes from the persistence of tectonics.
No idea what that means. Very concerned that you do.
Ignore him. He's not here.
Now, remember the time we did it in sign language?
This time, you're blind.
Oh, my God. Are you kidding me?!
All right, people, listen up.
You have made varsity. You're no longer on the J.V. team.
Leo, you're on seafood all night. Right there. Don't move.
Hope, you're on vegetables. Garnish, all right?
Remember the pairing work that we went over.
Whitney, come with me.
You are gonna be on the grill, sweetheart,
right here all night -- my sidekick, okay?
You -- you're on supplies.
Supply. You go... no. Go.
Stop eating my food.
Right this way, ma'am.
Keep an eye out for this one.
Word is she's gonna be here tonight.
I'm on it.
Ah, Lampard. You remember Rebecca.
Yes, welcome. Welcome.
We have an outstanding array of vegan choices.
Oh, is it organically grown,
ethically sourced, organically local?
Of course. Ahh.
I use nothing but the finest Portland farmers for everything.
The critic -- she's here.
Foodie queen? Mm-hmm.
How do you know?
Well, it looks like her.
You know, I read one thing about her
having a Crescent-shaped birthmark on one of her -- oh.
It's her.
Ah. What?
You're not serving table six. I am.
No one serves table six but me, got it?
Si, Senor.
Hello. B-b-bup!
Jolly good.
Okay, barring any unforeseen circumstances,
we are good to go.
Lampard thinks he can cut me out, huh?
He wants to take my truffle business.
Then I will take his most precious commodity.
Patrice, go in there and bring me his chef.
Here we go.
Enjoy.
Parker, let's give them some micro-expressions.
When you take your first bite, just give a hint of a smile.
Remember, the key is micro.
Well that didn't work.
Okay, so, what's wrong?
When someone really smiles, then their eyes wrinkle up.
You know, you just can't help it.
But if a smile's fake, then the muscles -- they don't contract.
There isn't anything she likes or can connect with.
Parker, this time, when you take a bite,
think of the first time you stole something.
Yeah, listen -- Lampard needs to see some anxiety in her,
you know, just to have him stick around.
Parker, take a bite,
then blink, then think of...jazz.
Everything okay? Can I get you something?
Mm, ah, spring rolls. Spring rolls.
Nicely done.
All right, listen up.
I need a wedge salad, two Delmonicos.
I need another black tag.
Yes, chef.
Oh, and I'm out of these purple tomatoes.
Hope, those are red onions. Hardison!
What? I need some more red onions in here.
How long on those prawns, Leo? 30 seconds, chef.
I need them in 20, buddy.
All right, let's go. Runners!
- Yes, chef. - We need some runners in here!
If you're not cooking, stay out of my kitchen.
Chef, you come with me.
What? Plate 'em!
Runners!
Is this how it's gonna be now, hmm?
I'm the supplies guy?
Take those down to hope. And stop eating my food. To hope?
Okay. Lampard's locked on. Go, Hardison.
Where is Patrice?
Samir, go get me the chef.
Nate, it is time for plan "B."
Yeah, actually, that was plan "B."
Okay, Parker, you need to get Hardison inside
without tipping off Lampard.
The spring rolls sneak up on you.
The flavors come from somewhere else,
like a secret passage in the back of my --
what's it called? -- Palate.
Air duct.
Got it.
How's it taste, Parker? You feeling anything?
The salsa verde is a nice marriage with the spring rolls,
but while totally yummy,
I just feel like... I should be feeling more.
Why didn't I think of that?
All right, listen, I want to put bone marrow in the salsa verde.
So gross.
No, it's not. It gives it the consistency that it's lacking.
Go, right now. Bone marrow.
No salsa verde flies out of this kitchen without bone marrow.
"Yes, chef"?
Yes, chef. Yes, chef.
How we doing, Hardison?
Oh, we're good.
Just swimming through an ocean of food.
Side note -- don't order the spinach.
I can taste garlic and mushrooms.
And something else that makes me feel different.
Wait -- was that for me? 'Cause I-I don't get it.
No. It's the food.
I get it.
I feel something.
What is going on in there, huh?
Thierry, go bring them all back --
Patrice, Samir, and that stupid chef.
What's your problem, huh? He's just a chef.
He's not a man.
He cooks little food with little pots and pans.
Come on.
You gonna put me on supplies.
This is cooking with liquid nitrogen.
These black noodles are amazing!
Parker, it's tagliolini nero con gamberi.
These are really good.
I can make blue spaghetti, or I can blow a safe.
Taste this.
Not too much ginger? Mnh-mnh.
Uh, chef? Chef?
What? Should I plate the Delmonico?
Perfect temperature. Good job, Whitney.
Oh, my God! Thank you, thank you!
Get it on the plate. Got to put it on the plate.
Sorry. Sorry. I know. I know.
Runners!
Aw, yeah, baby.
Money, money, money.
I'll bite you. I'll bite you!
Nate, coming in hot.
Okay, Sophie, you're on.
Ladies and gentlemen, I think we should all stand up --
stand up and give a big thank-you to David Lampard
for this lovely food that we're enjoying.
You don't have to --
I know you all know what tree hugging is, but I think --
why don't we try hugging a chef?
Hug a chef, why don't you?
All right. Lovely. Oh, that's a lovely hug.
Okay, you can let go. Please.
My goodness.
Oh, look. There's a group hug.
Isn't he just gonna grab the truffles and run?
I hope so.
Move, move, move, move!
Spencer, right? I thought I recognized you.
Everybody out -- now!
Good job tonight. Thanks.
See, the whole hippie thing threw me off.
I'm gonna eat that when I'm done with you.
Yeah, you were a good operator, if I remember correctly.
It's a different guy.
Bad attitude.
Same bad attitude, though.
You hurt my friend, Rampone.
I should have killed him.
Like I'm gonna do to you.
Come on.
Not only did you and Lampard ruin my friend Toby's life,
but you ruined the lives of the kids he was trying to help.
Eliot --
Not worth it. Give him to the cops.
Call off your dog. He's crazy.
Crazy?
I'm gonna cut your freaking head off and serve it on a platter.
Call him off.
That's enough, Eliot.
Thanks.
Serve his -- his head on a platter, huh?
Was it too much? No, actually, I liked it.
I felt like it was a lot.
Like, right when I said it, I felt like I may have gone too far.
David Lampard?
I'm agent Palmer and this is agent Snead --
like the golfers, only we're not golfers.
We're government agents. We need to look in your bags.
What are you -- D.E.A., eh? Looking for drugs?
Sure, look all you want. No drugs.
What's this?
Charcoal briquettes.
I'm a bit of a grill master.
Smells like tuber melanosporum.
What's that? Truffles.
Oh, well, you see, I'm a restaurant owner and a chef.
Yeah, these are actually French truffles.
They're not mine. I'm just taking them back to France.
There's a lot of shady
people in the truffle business and, you know...
Hold on a second. What does the D.E.A. care about truffles?
We're with U.S. fish and wildlife.
Oh, well, then you're not real police. Leave me alone.
But you are in violation
of sections four and nine of the endangered species act.
That's for animals.
Fish, wildlife, and plants.
This is outrageous. They're just truffles.
It is illegal to possess or ship any fish, wildlife, or plant
that has been taken illegally.
Cuff him.
No, I am not -- no, I'm not going. Tase him, Snead!
Hands behind your back. Come on.
I can't thank you enough.
I have my students back, my reputation back.
And now I'll be able to keep the doors open for a while.
The doors aren't gonna close -- not while we're nearby.
What is that?
What -- what are you -- don't --
Package for... Alec Hardison.
Oh, yeah.
Got myself a laser.
Absolutely not.
Don't give -- don't sign for that.
Don't sign for...?
Hey, do you know what
we're gonna be able to put on the pub's menu?
On the pub's edible menu?
Nate, you know... yeah, I know. You want to stab him in the...
Stab what? Oh, hold on.
Let me ask you something, man.
Wouldn't you like to be able to slurp a block of foam
that tastes just like a succulent new-York steak,
or have a shot of liquid
that tastes like a three-course Italian meal?
No, he would rather have the three-course meal.
You don't know that man's life, okay?
He's delivering packages all around Portland.
He's too busy to sit down and have a three-course meal, okay?
He's a mover, a shaker, a doer.
He'd rather have a tip. Hardison?
For what? For...?
For your laser.
How about this, man? How about this?
How about I give you a picture of ice cream
that look like a-a-a chocolate taste just like rocky road?
How about a dollar that tastes like a dollar?
Uh-huh. You got brave.
Okay, I see what this is. Got a little -- That's one, two.
And there you go. Put that in the piggy bank.
There you go. Be happy.
I don't care no more. I'm done.
You know what? If Parker was here, she would have my back, okay?
She's a forward thinker.
She ain't stuck in a time warp like y'all.
Where is Parker?
Oh, uh, she's, um, on a little trip.