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Henry, you just sit there...
and read those baseball scores.
Don't let me bother you, huh?
Where that girl is...
She was supposed to be back here an hour ago with the groceries.
Dinner's gonna be late.
Thinks the world revolves around her.
You were talking in your sleep again, Henry.
- What do you think so far? - There's no leg room.
- It's so crowded. - Well, it's supposed to be crowded.
It's sold out.
You know, this play is going to New York.
Can you believe it? My sister in an off-Broadway show?
So where is she?
She's in the next scene. She kills a guy.
I hope it's the guy who designed these seats.
There she is.
Hey, Cuz. You miss me?
Hope you don't mind... I let myself in.
But you're supposed to be in jail.
It's funny, that phrase, "supposed to be."
I'm supposed to be in jail; you're supposed to be waiting for me.
A man can't count on "supposed to be" the way he used to.
You know, my husband's upstairs. If he hears you he'll come down...
Your husband's downtown drowning himself in scotch and soda.
I saw him leave about an hour ago.
I've got some money in my purse. Why don't you just take it and go?
You think I want your pocket change?
You think that's why I came back?
Who ordered the tossed salad?
I came back for what's mine.
- You know, if you don't leave, I'll... - You'll what? Huh?
You'll do nothin'!
Like I said, I'm here for what's mine.
Hal, are you okay?
Hal? Hal?
- Is she supposed to say "Hal"? - Hal, are you all right?
Oh, my God.
Is there a doctor in the house? Anyone!
I'm a doctor.
I thought I grabbed the prop knife. It was supposed to...
It was supposed to be the prop knife.
- He's dead. - Oh, my God.
He's been stabbed!
MONK Season 2 Epi. 06 Mr. Monk Goes to the Theater
Do not insult us.
There were 300 people in that theater.
They all saw it, Gail.
I can't tell you what they saw. I can only tell you what I did.
I can tell you what they saw.
They saw you pick up a five-inch kitchen knife...
and plunge it into Hal Duncan's chest.
Then they saw him fall, dead.
I didn't do it. Come on, Randy. You know me.
You two are pals? - Yeah.
Well, no. Not exactly. We met last year.
- Gail, I can't help you here. - All right, Gail. Why don't we go...
She's scared to death. I gotta go in there.
Sharona, you can't.
Okay. There are two knives onstage. One of them is real.
I use it to cut a tomato in the second act. The other one is retractable,
- so it looks like he's being stabbed. - Right.
There are two knives onstage. Knife number one is on the counter.
Knife number two is sticking in the guy's chest.
Look, here's the problem, Gail... Both knives were real.
There's no way. I'm telling you.
It was a prop knife. I can tell the difference.
- Look, Gail, I like you. - We both like you.
So please, stop insulting us.
Why would I kill him in front of everybody?
People do it every day.
You were having a relationship with the victim.
You'd been seeing him for nearly a year.
- It was just seven months. - He broke it off. You were upset.
You sent him some e-mails.
They were pretty emotional. Th-That's what I heard.
Who you been talking to, Randy? The crew?
You wanted to teach your boyfriend a lesson.
You were pissed off. You did it in public. You didn't care,
so you took a knife from home,
you switched it with the knife on the stage,
and then you stuck him in the chest.
- Everybody saw you. - He's not my boyfriend.
No! Not anymore.
- Now Gail, I... - I feel so helpless.
Can't you do anything?
Oh, God.
Okay, I got toothpaste, toothbrush, magazines.
I'm allowed to bring her a towel, right? - I don't know.
How long can they hold her?
Second-degree murder? The D. A.'s gonna try to deny her bail...
until she confesses.
Why would she confess?
What? You think she did it?
Sharona, I don't know what to tell you.
I was there. So were you.
You know, I don't accept that. She said she was innocent.
Things aren't always what they seem. Isn't that what you taught me?
Sharona, she stabbed the guy in front of 300 people.
- Look, I'm not a magician. - Yes, you are.
You turn things around all the time.
You do it for strangers every day.
So how come you can't do it for my sister?
- Oh, my God. - What?
Oh, no. - "Oh, no," what? Sharona, who is out there?
My mom! I totally forgot she was coming.
She flew up from Florida to see the play. This is gonna kill her!
Oh, no.
Look... Look, I might have told her some things that weren't exactly true.
- Like what? - Like, Benjy's on the honor roll.
- Oh, okay. No problem. - Okay, thanks.
Oh! Oh, oh, oh. And...
And I also told her that my rent is only $900 a month.
And-And-And-And I broke up with Steve, the florist I was dating.
He didn't break up with me. Oh, oh.! Oh, oh.
And also that I am seeing a really nice guy, Ronnie, who's a stockbroker,
but he's out of town this weekend.
Oh, oh! Oh, oh. And-And you... you have a full medical plan,
including dental.
And, uh, I'm not your assistant.
I'm... your partner. Is that okay?
Yeah. Wow! Congratulations.
Thank you.
- Hey.! - Hi, Mom!
Hello. Oh, I thought the bell was broken.
Oh, I'm sorry. We were in the kitchen.
How come... How come you didn't call me? I would have picked you up.
Oh, I'm not an invalid. I grabbed a taxi.
You look wonderful. Come here. - Oh, Ma.
Ah.! I was so sorry to hear about Steve, but I say, good riddance.
You're too good for the schlub. Oh!
Is this our stockbroker? - Uh, no.
I'm not your stockbroker. He's out of town.
His name is Ronnie. That's all.
Um, um, this is Adrian, remember?
Oh, the partner. The partner in crime.
- Mrs. Fleming. - Oh, no. Call me Cheryl.
- Wipe? - Not now.
Where's Benjy? I brought him a new baseball glove.
Oh, he's not here. He's sleeping over at a friend's house.
You forgot I was coming, didn't you? No, that's all right. I understand.
You're probably so excited about the show.
So, how was it last night?
Tell me everything. How was Gail?
Were there any reviews?
Hey, Ma, you know what? There's-There's something I've got to tell you.
- What? A bad review? - Uh, you might want to sit down, Cheryl.
Oh, no, I'm fine. I've been sittin' all day.
Ma, you know what? I think it's best that we sit down. - Oh.
Something happened last night at the show.
Okay - There was a stabbing.
Oh. You mean, in the audience?
No. Uh, no. Onstage, uh, during the show.
The actor who was playing Burt was killed.
Gail... stabbed him.
- Oh, I know. I read the script. - No, no. Cheryl,
he died.
Oh, I-I don't understand.
Neither do we. Uh...
The police think that she might have done it on purpose.
She's been arrested for murder in the second degree.
There's a bail hearing tomorrow.
Gail? No.
I don't believe it. It's a mistake, right?
- The police don't think so. - Well, they're wrong.
Well, you're gonna help her, right?
I mean, that's what you do. You're a couple of detectives, right?
Of course we're going to help her.
After all, we're... we're a couple of detectives.
- Right? - Right.
Right.
What? What? What? Forget it. Forget it.
Excuse me. We're looking for Gail Fleming's dressing room.
- And you are? - We're her mother.
Backstage, then down the stairs.
We'll be right back. We're just gonna pick up her stuff.
Hey, hey, hey. Don't eat those. They're props.
- And you are? - I'm O'Dell. I'm the prop master.
- Well, they taste terrible. - But they look delicious.
And that's the point.
It's just an apple.
It hurts, Mama.
It hurts worse than anything else I've ever felt.
Can I help you?
Um, yeah. I'm... I'm Sharona, Gail's sister.
And I'm her mother. Who are you, dear?
- Jenna Ryan. - Oh, hello, dear.
L-I thought this was her dressing room.
It is. It was. I'm her understudy.
Can I help you?
Yeah, we're just here to pick up her stuff.
Oh, sure. Oh, I put them right here.
Here you go.
You couldn't fold them?
Look, I know you're Gail's family,
but it's very hard for me to be sympathetic.
- I just came from Hal Duncan's wake. - Gail didn't do it.
I'm sorry.
You're right. She's innocent until proven guilty.
I guess I'm a little nervous.
I have a show on Friday. It's my opening night.
I want you to know I wanted this part,
but I never wanted to get it like this.
Yeah. Look, my boss...
Uh, my associate and I are working with the police.
We'd like to ask you a couple questions.
I'm kind of busy. Um, how about tomorrow?
2:00. Come by the apartment.
- 3198 Green Village Road. - Fine. We'll be there.
Great.
Um... Uh, Jenna?
- Yes? - Break a leg.
Excuse me. What are you doing?
Uh, I was just... Nothing. Hey, don't fiddle with the props.
I've got to know where these are, in the dark, by touch, at a moment's notice.
I've been juggling props for 44 years.
Ask me about the first prop I ever bought.
- What was the... - The sword Richard Burton used in Camelot.
- I had to go to Scotland to get it. - Really? Wow.
I'm, uh, I'm Adrian Monk, and this is Sh...
She's usually right here.
This is a terrible week, I'll bet.
Hey, that wasn't my fault. The cops had me under the lights all night long.
I told them... I put the prop knife on the set.
We use two knives on this show. A real one and one like this.
Hey, whoa...
Don't wet yourself. The blade retracts into the handle.
Gail must have switched the gag knife for the real one before the show.
- May I? - See?
It doesn't feel like a real knife at all, does it?
No - She had to know she was holding a real knife.
What happened onstage Sunday night, that was no accident.
That was a woman scorned. "Hell hath no fury," right?
And you're sure you put a fake knife on the stage?
I swear, I put it there myself, half an hour before curtain.
- And there was nobody else here? - Nope. Except Jenna.
Jenna Ryan, Gail's understudy. She was checking in.
They check in before the show, see if anybody's sick.
We're all set. It's killing me that we can't see her.
She's not allowed any visitors until after the bail hearing.
I can't believe this is happening.
There's nothing we can do today.
- Let's get a manicure. - A manicure - Come on. It'll be fun.
If we just go home, we're gonna go crazy.
There's a salon around the corner...
Alberta's. All the ladies in the show go there.
What do you say?
Nothing, nothing, noth... Hold on. Hold on.
No. Nothing. Saturday, nothing.
Ouch. I don't have an opening for another two weeks. I'm sorry.
- Not even for a manicure? - Don't you have any cancellations?
Well, Luna can put you on the waiting list,
but, uh, why don't you try Scissor Wiz?
- They'll take anyone. - Excuse me.
Uh, Jenna Ryan... Is she a customer?
Yes. - Gail's understudy.
Right. She has an appointment for tomorrow.
So? She wants to look good for her debut.
But-But look. According to this,
she made this appointment two weeks ago.
How did she know she'd be onstage?
I don't know. Coincidence?
- Maybe. - So what are you saying?
I'm saying you might be right.
Your sister may have been framed.
And I think the understudy could have had something to do with it.
Who did your perm? I-I absolutely love it.
Captain Stottlemeyer,
you have been investigating the violent murder of Hal Duncan?
- That's correct. - Look at her. She's lost weight.
- How can you tell from here? - I can tell.
- And who is that suspect? - Miss Gail Fleming.
Um... Uh, may I say something?
Your Honor, in my opinion, Miss Fleming is not a flight risk.
You see, I know her family, I work with her sister...
Your Honor, there is an avalanche of evidence against Miss Fleming.
I hardly know where to begin.
She had motive, she was obsessed with the victim,
the attack was witnessed by 300 people.
Excuse me, Your Honor.
I would also like to mention that I have a consultant working on the case.
He's a former homicide detective.
He's somebody I respect a great deal,
and, um, he has serious doubts about what happened.
What is his name?
Adrian Monk, Your Honor. He's, uh, in the courtroom,
uh, and he's ready and willing to testify.
Oh, yes. I know Mr. Monk.
- Hello, Adrian. - Your Honor.
I, uh, presided over his last competency hearing.
He couldn't testify until I adjusted my robe.
- I remember. Right. - You see, it had to be even.
- Perfectly even. - Uh, look, Your Honor...
I know he's a little unorthodox, but he's a great cop.
I'm refusing this petition. Bail is denied.
- Thank you, Your Honor. - The court is in recess.
Gail, baby...
Oh, no. I'm her mother. Can't I just talk to her?
Give ya a minute.
- Mom, I didn't do anything wrong. - I know you didn't, honey.
Gail, do you remember when you were in the second grade
and Pogo got sick?
- Do you remember what I said? - You said you'd make it better.
I gave you a promise. I said he'd get better, and what happened?
- He got better. - That's right.
- Until the bus hit him three weeks later. - No, no. Forget about the bus.
The point is, he wasn't sick. Now, listen to me, pumpkin.
I'm making you another promise, and I'm gonna take care of this.
We gotta go.
It's going to be okay.
I'm depending on you.
I'll do whatever it takes.
I'm depending on you too.
- Can I help you? - Uh, yeah, we're here,
uh, for Jenna Ryan. She's expecting us.
Miss Ryan just left 10 minutes ago.
- Are you sure? - I put her in the cab myself.
Okay, she didn't forget. I saw her write it down. She's avoiding us.
Did you happen to hear where she went?
It's possible.
Well-Well, where did she go? It's very important.
Isn't it funny? I-I can't quite remember.
I get it. I get it. I get it.
Memories are funny things.
Uh, maybe this will help.
Three dollars? Hey, buddy,
I get three bucks for holding a door open.
He wants more. Give him more.
He didn't do anything. I think three dollars is more than appropriate.
Give him more.
- Oh, so we're up to four dollars now. - For 20 seconds of your time.
- I think that's not too shabby. - You're the cheapest man I know.
Here. Where'd she go?
- What are you doing? Forty dollars? - My sister's on death row.
I think she's worth 40 dollars. Where'd she go?
- The Beltram Hotel on Ridgedale. - Okay. Thank you very much.
Excuse me. Could I have my four dollars back?
What? - We gave you 44 dollars.
Yeah? - The bribe was only 40, so, you know...
- Are you for real? - Will you come on?
O-Okay. Okay, but we have a four-dollar credit on any future bribes.
I won't forget. I'm writing it down.
There she is.
Oh, excuse me. Have we registered? - Uh, for what?
Speedy Dates. We do it here once a month
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I read an article about this.
It's for singles. Instead of spending all night with one jerk,
you get to meet 15 jerks at once.
Yeah, that's not exactly how we would describe it.
You spend four minutes with each person.
Then when the love bell rings, you move on to the next person.
- It's like square dancing. - He'll do it.
Sign in. - What?
Sign in. It's perfect. This way, Jenna has to talk to you.
"Speedy Dates"? No. No, no, no.
That's like Dante's seventh circle of hell.
Adrian, "whatever it takes."
Isn't that what you said?
I like your eyes.
Well, thank you. They came with the face.
- And you're a cop? - Uh, used to be.
Do you still have your handcuffs?
Yes. They're in my bureau.
Maybe you'd like to show them to me sometime.
Why?
They're-They're just handcuffs.
And Trudy and I were married for...
- seven years. - I am so sorry.
It was a car bomb.
Three pounds of plastic explosives under the driver's seat.
I... I felt responsible. I think it was meant for me.
And how about you? Have you ever been married?
It's so hard for women my age to meet men. I'm 38.
Oh, no, you're not. Excuse me?
I was standing behind you when you were registering out front.
I-I noticed that your credit card said "member since 1979."
You have to be 18 to get that card.
Which means that, uh, you're at least 42.
All right. I'm 43. Are you happy now?
You don't look it.
- I hate dating, don't you? - I don't know. I never date.
Then what are you doing here?
I'm... I'm just here to meet her.
Oh, I see.
Sorry I wasted your time. It's okay.
Hello, Adrian. I'm Jenna.
Jenna, hello. Is this your first time?
Yes, it is. Yes, it is. How about you?
Third. Insane, isn't it?
But I don't know how else to meet anybody.
The only guys I meet at work are actors.
Oh, you're an actress?
- Guilty. - Are you famous?
No. Not yet. Are you into the theater?
I really don't get out much.
I'm in a play at the El Portal, if you're interested.
- It's called Blood on the Moon. - Oh, I heard about that.
Didn't a guy get killed during the show?
It's not exactly the kind of publicity we wanted.
Actually, I'm the understudy for the girl who, you know, did it.
- Really? - My daddy always said,
"When opportunity knocks, just kick down the damn door.
- Don't ask any questions." - Is-Is your father an actor too?
He wanted to be. Raised by a frustrated actor.
That explains everything, right?
But he's great. He's really great. My father would do anything for me.
Were you there when-when Mr. Duncan was stabbed?
No. I, um... I had checked in earlier.
I was at a party across town.
How did you know his name?
- It's on the news. - Uh-huh.
So you didn't actually see the attack?
No, I was at a party across town. I told you.
You ask a lot of questions.
You never told me what you do for a living.
Oh, that was quick. Can I see you again?
I don't think so.
- So how'd it go, stud? - She did it.
I don't know how she did it, but she did it.
Let's go back to the theater and look around. - Okay.
- So how did the dating go? - Oh, it was terrible.
- Thank God I'm not single. - You are single.
Oh, yeah.
Okay. I think I remember exactly what I saw.
It's the second scene. You're Gail, I'm the guy.
The two knives are on the counter. This is very important.
This is the real knife. This is the prop knife.
So when you stab me, please use the prop knife.
- I'll try to remember. - Okay. Okay, now, so.
- You... You enter from the right. - You mean the left. That's stage left.
- But it's on the right. - But it's stage left. That's what they call it.
My sister's an actress.
But-But for the purposes of this recreation,
let's just call it what they call it on planet Earth.
- Like you would know. - All right. Just enter from over there.
All right? Over there, and then come walk to the table when I say "Go."
And... Go.
Hey, Cuz. Did you miss me?
I hope you don't mind.
I let myself in.
- You're pretty good. - Oh. I have my moments.
So now you say, "Burt, you're supposed to be in jail."
Come on. Say it.
- Burt, you're supposed to be in jail. - Yeah, it's funny about that phrase,
"supposed to be."
I'm supposed to be in jail. You're supposed to be waiting for me.
A man can't count on "supposed to be" the way he used to.
Your husband's downtown, drowning himself in scotch and soda.
I saw him leave here about an hour ago.
What are you doing?
Well done. Very nice.
- Sorry. We thought we were alone. - I was in the shadows,
where the director belongs.
I'm Karl Sebastian.
I'm Sharona Fleming, and this is Adrian Monk.
- You're Gail's sister, aren't you? - Yeah.
Will you tell her we're all praying for her?
I've known Gail many years, and I still can't believe what's happened.
It's like a bad dream. - Sure is.
How do you know the play, Mr. Monk? It's brand-new. It's never been published.
I saw it last week, and, uh,
must have memorized it by accident. Sorry.
You memorized it after seeing it one time?
I'm so sorry.
I know this is all last-minute.
I don't know what your schedule is, but, uh,
we've just hired an actor from New York to play the part of Burt.
But he can't be here till Monday. Would you consider filling in?
It's only two shows. - Me? No. No.
- Uh, no. Sorry. Can't. - He'll do it. He'll be great.
I just need to talk to my agent for one minute.
Are you insane? I can't act!
Look, my sister's in trouble. You said the understudy did it.
She's in the show. That's where you should be.
It's two shows. Come on.
- He'll do it. - Oh, excellent. I'm thrilled.
Welcome aboard. We'll, uh, see you tomorrow, 10:00 a. m. Rehearsal.
- You're in the show Friday night. - In the show. I'm in the show.
It's fantastic.
Okay, from the top of scene two.
Adrian, you've just escaped from prison.
You're hiding behind the door.
You step out, and, uh...
Anytime, Mr. Monk.
Hey, Cuz. Did you miss me?
I hope you don't mind. I let myself in.
Okay, okay. Um, Adrian, you started to have it yesterday.
Remember, you've escaped from prison. - Right. I s... Yeah.
Full of rage. You swagger.
I don't think so.
Hi.! I'm sorry.! I'm sorry I'm late.
I couldn't get a cab.
- You... - Jenna Ryan, this is Adrian Monk.
- He's filling in for a couple of shows. - You're an actor?
Yes, he's an actor, and he's doing a splendidjob.
But we haven't got all day, so, um, we'll go from your line,
"There's money in my purse."
Jenna, you're at the table. Adrian, you're swaggering.
Here. I have some money in my purse.
Take it. - You think I want your pocket change?
You think that's why I came back?
Okay, now, you push the table over.
You're an animal. Just-Just push it over.
Maybe my character wouldn't want to make too big a mess right-right here.
She sent you to prison. You're... You're full of rage.!
I have a thought. What if my character expresses his rage...
by putting away the groceries...
roughly?
Uh, okay. Uh, okay. Uh, let's-let's move on...
to your next line, "Who ordered the tossed salad?"
Who ordered the tossed salad?
I'm sorry. Is that how you laugh?
- I'm not... not a big laugher. - Well, try a real laugh.
Have a go.
Who ordered the tossed salad?
Oh, no. Okay, wait. Let me try that again.
Who ordered the tossed salad?
Sebastian?
- Who ordered the tossed salad? - He's impossible.
Just cut him loose. We'll find somebody else.
It was your idea to hire Hal, and he was terrible, God rest his soul.
Who ordered the tossed...
Um... Okay, we'll, uh, we'll work on the laugh.
Take 10, everybody.
Oh, not quite. Hold on.
Kathleen, what did the director mean when he said that...
Jenna made them hire Hal Duncan?
It was no secret... Jenna wanted them to hire Hal.
I'll tell you what I heard:
She slept with the producer, then threatened to tell his wife unless they did.
- Why? Were they dating? - No. Nobody could figure it out.
Jenna didn't even like the guy.
He wasn't a great actor, or even a good actor.
He was a character.
Always wore sunglasses, even inside.
Oh, and he was allergic to everything: Eggs, peanuts and shellfish.
He wouldn't eat anything unless he made it himself. Ah.
This might work, huh? What do you think?
Can't I just wear my own clothes? I'd... I'd rather wear my own clothes.
Uh, what-what do you have at home?
Uh, well, he just has more of this.
Basically this.
So, when do I get to meet the elusive Ronnie?
- Who? - The stockbroker. I told you about him.
He's at a convention... in Belgium.
What stockbroker?
I don't like Benjy meeting any of the guys I date until I'm sure, you know?
But you said he took Benjy to the basketball game.
No, I didn't. - Yes, you did.
Well, then, you misunderstood, or you just got mixed up.
Look, Ma, can we just change the subject, huh?
You don't have to snap, honey.
This is a hard time for all of us.
You know, I always thought if anyone in this
family ever would end up in jail, it would be you.
You know what? That's great. That's great. Right in front of Benjy?
- I don't mind. - No, you know what I'm talking about.
- Remember when you S-T-O-L-E the car? - Ma, he's 11 years old. He can spell.
- S-T-O... - Okay, you know what? You know what?
Go to your room and do your homework.
Whatever.
Oy!
I'm sorry, Sharona. I-I'm just so scared.
I'm scared too.
- How you doing? - Oh, I'm making lots of new friends.
I need you to get me out before I make any more.
Listen, your Mom and Sharona wanted to come,
but you're only allowed one visitor a day.
They wanted me to ask you if you needed anything.
Yeah, an explanation for what happened.
Adrian, I didn't stab anybody.
I grabbed the prop knife. I'm sure of it.
The knife they found... my prints weren't on it, were they?
No. No, no. There were no...
There were no usable prints.
The, uh... The police figure that you, uh,
that you wiped them off in all the confusion.
Nobody believes me. My lawyer thinks I'm crazy.
Well, maybe I am. - No.
- No, you're not crazy. - Do you want to try a different phone?
No. No, no. I'm good. I'm good.
Listen, Gail, what do you know about your understudy, Jenna Ryan?
I can't believe you said that. I've been thinking about her.
Why is that? - Because Jenna would do anything for that part.
Four years ago, she tried this Tonya Harding thing on another actress.
I think it was in Chicago. They were both up for the same part.
The actress was attacked with a golf club. Broke her kneecap. - Really?
Yeah. Jenna got the part.
You know, everyone suspected her, but they couldn't prove anything.
But, you know, she couldn't have done it. She wasn't even near the theater,
and she was at some party across town, so...
Maybe.
There. There.
Oh, God, the time. I've got to go. I've got a show.
- Are you really in the cast? - A star is born.
God, I would have thought you'd get stage fright.
Nah, I was fine in the rehearsals.
Everyone's fine in rehearsals. There's no audience there.
That's true.
My mom's in the front row.
But there's not too many other people out there, right?
No, there's lots of people out there. - Oh!
It's sold out. Well, don't worry about it. You were fine in rehearsals.
- Don't worry about it. - This is it! Places everyone. Energy. Energy!
I heard you've been asking around about me. - What?
Who are you? You're not an actor. That much I know.
Okay, Jenna. Your entrance is on the other side.
- We know a few things too. - What's that supposed to mean?
Figure it out.
Henry, you just sit there.
You read those baseball scores.
Don't let me bother you, huh?
Where's that girl? She was supposed to be back here an hour ago with the groceries.
- Okay. - Dinner's gonna be late tonight.
Okay. Okay, I... I-I-I can't do this.
- Tell them I'm out of town. - It won't work. They've all seen you.
What was I thinking? I'm not an actor.
Are you all right?
What are you doing? What-What are you doing?
Taking your pulse. I'm a nurse, remember?
Oh, my God. Sharona, I've... I've got it.
I know how she did it. - You do?
If that's how you take someone's pulse,
I know how she did it.
Adrian, let's go. You're on! You. Come here!
- How did she do it? - Allergies.
Hal Duncan had lots of allergies.
The wardrobe lady said he was afraid to eat anything he didn't make himself.
That's why Jenna wanted him in that part. He was the perfect patsy!
The prop master told me that Jenna was hanging out onstage before the show.
But she wasn't switching knives, she was tampering with the apples.
The apples?
She must have been putting something on them or in them...
something that Hal Duncan was allergic to.
That's right. My mom said they tasted funny.
Like I said,
I'm here for what's mine!
Hal Duncan wasn't stabbed. He was having an allergic reaction.
But he was stabbed. There was a real knife in his chest.
I know. I-I know, I know. It was a brilliant plan.
- You're still here? - What? - You're on!
- No. No, no, no. - Adrian, Adrian, if you don't go onstage,
she's gonna know something's up.
Sharona, go downstairs, check her dressing room!
What am I looking for?
Evidence! Something Hal Duncan was allergic to.
Shellfish, eggs, peanuts...
Hey, Cuz.
Did you miss me?
I hope you don't mind.
I let myself in.
Burt, you're supposed to be in jail.
Funny, that phrase, "supposed to be."
You're supposed to be in jail.
I'm supposed to be in jail.
You're supposed to be waiting for me.
A man can't count on "used to be"...
the way he's supposed to.
Yes, yes. We can prove it. Look, are you almost here?
- Great. I'll see you soon. - You'd better go.
My husband's upstairs. If he hears you...
Your husband's downtown,
drowning himself in scotch and soda.
I saw him leave here about an hour ago.
I have money in my purse. Here, take it.
- You think I want your pocket change? - Adrian!
You think that's why I came back?
Adrian. Adrian!
Look.! Adrian.! Adrian.
Who ordered the tossed salad?
Oh, my God.
I'm here for what's mine.
Burt, if you don't leave, I'll...
You'll what? Huh? You'll do nothin'!
- Adrian, be careful! She knows! - Like I said,
- I came for what's mine! - Watch out!
Oh, my God!
Is she all right?
Is there a doctor in the house?
Everybody stay in your seats, ladies and gentlemen.
- I'm a police officer. Everything is under control. - Are you okay? - I'm all right.
Everybody just sit down.
Could we have the house lights on, please?
She's okay. I'll call an ambulance.
Excuse me. Did you...
Did you just ask if there was a doctor in the house?
Yes. Yes. Right.
That's funny. Because last week, you were the doctor in the house.
- What are you talking about? - I was here. I saw you.
Is there a doctor in the house? Anyone? - I'm a doctor.
But you're not a doctor, are you?
I remembered how you took Hal's pulse after he collapsed.
You used your thumb, something no real doctor would ever do.
Hal Duncan was having an allergic reaction to peanut oil.
He wasn't stabbed...
until you stabbed him.
When you leaned over, you pocketed the fake knife,
and then you killed him.
He's dead. He's been stabbed!
That's crazy. Why would I...
You would do anything to help Jenna get into the play.
It's a big hit, heading to New York,
and a career-making role for your daughter.
- My daughter? - That's right, Mr. Ryan.
That is your name, isn't it? You've been obsessed with her career.
Jenna told me all about it. We... We dated, briefly.
You don't understand. Jenna's all I have.
But if they wanted Gail out of the way, why didn't they just go after her?
They couldn't do that, Captain.
Jenna was suspected of attacking another actress four years ago.
They couldn't pull that trick again.
They had to find another way to get rid of Gail.
- So they framed her. - Or they tried to. Thank you, Adrian.
Now, can you prove any of this?
The medical examiner can.
This was in her dressing room.
I'm sure you can still find traces of it in his body.
- Peanut oil. - Daddy! Daddy, what did you do?
I had nothing to do with this, I swear! I swear!
Shut up, bitch! Show's over.
That's my daughter, the detective.!
Bravo!
Listen to this. "The director said,
"'We're all excited about Gail Fleming rejoining the show. - Yea!
"'We're also hoping to bring our newest cast member,
Adrian Monk, to New York with us.
In all my years in the theater, I have never seen fear and panic
portrayed so convincingly."'
That is a money review. First time out. Congratulations. - Thanks.
Are you gonna be doing any more acting, Mr. Monk?
Anything's possible, Benjy, except for that.
Oh, I'm gonna miss my plane. We better call a taxi.
Oh, no, I'll take you. You know, I've been cooped up all week.
Before I leave, I want a picture with me and my girls.
Oh, I'll... I'll take it for you.
Oh, no, don't give it to him.
He'll spend half an hour cleaning the lens. Don't.
Oh, well, we can all be in it, because, uh, there's a built-in timer.
But we have to be careful. There's just one picture left.
Ready? Go! Smile!
Here, Cheryl, you switch with me, okay? - Adrian, no.
- No. There's no time. - Mom should be in the middle.
Okay, okay. Wait. Smile.
- Gail, you switch... - Oh, come on. We don't have time for this!
Quick, quick! Yeah, now it's better.
Cause you have tall, short, tall, short.
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