1 00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:08,941 [ thunder crashes ] >> [ laughs evilly ] 2 00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:10,943 [ sawing ] 3 00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:19,852 [ electricity crackles ] >> it's alive! 4 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:32,531 [ thunder crashes ] >> [ laughs evilly ] 5 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:35,834 [ smooch! ] [ laughs evilly ] 6 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,506 >> [ chitters ] lucas, darwin have question for 7 00:00:40,508 --> 00:00:42,007 You. >> what is it, darwin? 8 00:00:42,009 --> 00:00:44,543 >> was this the only voice left at the asshole store? 9 00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:47,279 'cause stephen hawking wouldn't tell your mom to suck his 10 00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:49,848 [bleep] with this voice. >> oh. Do you want to go back 11 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:51,717 To seaworld? >> no, no, no. We cool. 12 00:00:51,719 --> 00:00:54,987 We cool. >> bobby, I think we're lost. 13 00:00:54,989 --> 00:00:58,557 >> well, you found us. >> what the heck are those 14 00:00:58,559 --> 00:01:01,360 Things?! >> why, them's the boglins! 15 00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:04,196 >> joe's gonna sing a song! >> oh, I love when joe sings! 16 00:01:04,198 --> 00:01:06,865 >> ♪ well, there are some creatures you might not know ♪ 17 00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:11,270 ♪ always burpin' and playin' ♪ ♪ and splashin' to and fro ♪ 18 00:01:11,272 --> 00:01:15,541 ♪ sometimes troublemakin' ♪ ♪ they're the boglins ♪ 19 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:18,877 >> ♪ we're the boglins ♪ >> ♪ and they smell like 20 00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:21,346 Deep ass ♪ >> wait. What? 21 00:01:21,348 --> 00:01:23,816 >> ♪ picture the worst ass smell that you smelled, now multiply 22 00:01:23,818 --> 00:01:26,852 That by the biggest number that exists in math ♪ 23 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:30,656 ♪ that's how the boglins smell ♪ >> I think we're good on the 24 00:01:30,658 --> 00:01:32,524 Song. >> ♪ they spend all day stewing 25 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:36,695 In their own pee and crap ♪ ♪ they also eat and [bleep] 26 00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,964 Their dead ♪ >> oh, god. 27 00:01:38,966 --> 00:01:43,902 >> ♪ and on the eighth day, god regretted giving life to 28 00:01:43,904 --> 00:01:47,673 The boglins ♪ 29 00:01:49,309 --> 00:01:52,945 And...? >> and we're legally required to 30 00:01:52,947 --> 00:01:55,047 Tell you we're registered sex offenders. 31 00:01:55,049 --> 00:01:56,448 >> I'm currently unregistered. 32 00:02:02,055 --> 00:02:05,691 >> turtles, strength comes from within, and you must find that 33 00:02:05,693 --> 00:02:07,292 Strength. [ munching ] 34 00:02:07,294 --> 00:02:09,294 >> splinter, are you eating garbage? 35 00:02:09,296 --> 00:02:11,663 >> what?! Ew! Gross! This shouldn't be sitting 36 00:02:11,665 --> 00:02:14,766 Around, so I'm going to take the garbage out and you get back to 37 00:02:14,768 --> 00:02:17,069 Your lesson. >> you're taking it to your 38 00:02:17,071 --> 00:02:19,538 Room. >> you're taking it to your 39 00:02:19,540 --> 00:02:20,973 Room. Hey, guys. 40 00:02:20,975 --> 00:02:23,609 Remember when I ate garbage by accident? 41 00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:26,145 So gross, right? >> yep. It was gross. 42 00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:29,281 >> dare me to do it again? You'd have to dare me, 43 00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:31,416 'cause...Ew. >> no. We're good. 44 00:02:31,418 --> 00:02:33,585 >> splinter? Are you okay in there? 45 00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:36,788 >> you don't want to see this. >> those are used tissues, 46 00:02:36,790 --> 00:02:38,824 Splinter! >> I know! I know! 47 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:41,126 I'm a [bleep] rat! Soak it in! 48 00:02:41,128 --> 00:02:45,030 This is splinter's rock bottom! >> no, eating that used tampon 49 00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:49,668 Is your rock bottom. >> it's April fresh! 50 00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:54,373 [ twinkle! ] >> magic mirror, tell me today, 51 00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:58,043 Have all my "romper room" friends had fun at play? 52 00:02:58,045 --> 00:03:01,513 I see jenny and tommy and alan and... 53 00:03:01,515 --> 00:03:06,718 [ demonic voice ] fire -- fire raining down from the heavens! 54 00:03:06,720 --> 00:03:08,820 [ normal voice ] and sandy and robbie. 55 00:03:08,822 --> 00:03:10,189 >> aaah! [ alarm blaring ] 56 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,024 >> mantech, this place is gonna blow! 57 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:14,660 >> the only way you'll make it out is if someone stays behind 58 00:03:14,662 --> 00:03:16,995 And keeps the core from overheating. 59 00:03:16,997 --> 00:03:19,064 [ blaring continues ] 60 00:03:21,401 --> 00:03:24,736 >> what's happening? >> sorry. I made a face that I 61 00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:27,806 Thought conveyed it, but I guess you can't see 'cause of my 62 00:03:27,808 --> 00:03:29,942 Helmet. I'm going to sacrifice myself. 63 00:03:29,944 --> 00:03:32,311 >> steve, you can't see because of my helmet, but I am crying 64 00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:33,946 Right now. >> I believe you, ken. 65 00:03:33,948 --> 00:03:36,748 >> due to helmet and armor mobility issues, what I'm going 66 00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,484 To do won't really translate, but I'm going to give you a 67 00:03:39,486 --> 00:03:42,988 Subtle yet loaded nod. [ clank! Clank! ] 68 00:03:42,990 --> 00:03:45,924 That was it. >> pat, that was beautiful. 69 00:03:45,926 --> 00:03:48,427 You're like a father to me. Don't do this! 70 00:03:48,429 --> 00:03:51,296 >> hey! Look at me! Look...At...Me! 71 00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:53,265 >> I am. >> what do you see? 72 00:03:53,267 --> 00:03:55,934 >> an enormous helmet. >> do you see fear? 73 00:03:55,936 --> 00:03:59,271 >> I don't think so, sir. >> that's right, so you stay 74 00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:02,174 Strong, too, soldier. >> we need our leader! 75 00:04:02,176 --> 00:04:04,209 You are mantech -- I'm gonna be sick. 76 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:07,145 [ vomits ] I'm so sorry. 77 00:04:07,147 --> 00:04:09,748 Did some throw-up get in your helmet vent? 78 00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:11,216 >> yes. >> how much? 79 00:04:11,218 --> 00:04:12,851 >> a lot. >> I'm sorry. 80 00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:15,587 >> I know. Go! You don't have much time! 81 00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:18,657 We are the men! >> all: The men of mantech! 82 00:04:18,659 --> 00:04:21,360 >> heads up! Low beam! Stupid helmet! 83 00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:26,131 >> 'sup, bob? >> walking straight today? 84 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:28,367 >> yep! I'm a lemming! Whoops! Whoa! 85 00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:30,469 >> whoa! >> whoa. 86 00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,004 >> hey, ralph! What are you up to? 87 00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:33,705 >> I'm holding a ticking bomb. >> neat! 88 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:35,173 [ boom! Zap! ] >> hey, tom. 89 00:04:35,175 --> 00:04:37,209 You building a bridge? >> yep. Not finished. 90 00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:39,945 >> sounds good. Here we go! >> great bridge. 91 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,114 >> I retire tomorrow. >> hey, the bridge is up! 92 00:04:42,116 --> 00:04:42,914 Isn't that great?! 93 00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:47,052 >> hi, honey. How was your day? 94 00:04:47,054 --> 00:04:49,655 >> they're all dead! It should have been me! 95 00:04:49,657 --> 00:04:53,692 [ sobbing ] it should have been m-e-e-e-e-e-e-e! 96 00:04:53,694 --> 00:04:57,496 >> hello. I am looking for a gift for my grandson's birthday. 97 00:04:57,498 --> 00:05:02,000 Do you carry sweaters that don't fit and are [bleep] stupid? 98 00:05:02,002 --> 00:05:03,835 >> hi! I'm rick "the animal" sanders, 99 00:05:03,837 --> 00:05:09,374 I also designed and built the most powerful monster truck in 100 00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:11,510 History, the animal! >> [ roars ] 101 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:14,579 >> the animal has giant beast claws jutting out of its tires! 102 00:05:14,581 --> 00:05:17,616 That's why you should haul ass down to animal discount auto! 103 00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:20,118 Drive drunk! You'll get here faster! 104 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:23,155 Every car's an animal, like this live possum! 105 00:05:23,157 --> 00:05:25,357 [ snarling ] hate traffic? 106 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:27,859 So does the animal! >> I'm late for my weekly 107 00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:29,995 Baccarat game. Eat a [bleep] traffic! 108 00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:33,632 Whoo-hoo! >> we've even got boats! 109 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,468 Aye, aye, mother [bleep]! So head on down to 110 00:05:36,470 --> 00:05:40,005 Animal discount auto and remember -- nothing can stop 111 00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,407 The animal! >> owning and operating an 112 00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:46,578 Animal is illegal. >> I [bleep] trees! 113 00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:48,747 >> look at me! >> a flasher! 114 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,116 >> wait. No, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. 115 00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:54,519 Wait! Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! 116 00:05:54,521 --> 00:05:57,823 >> people of mainframe, beware! The evil virus megabyte has 117 00:05:57,825 --> 00:06:00,525 Turned off the users' computer spamware filter! 118 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:02,627 >> that's crazy! Even bad news like this can't 119 00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,830 Get me down, though. I just doubled the size of my 120 00:06:04,832 --> 00:06:07,099 Dong in four days with new dub-chub male enhancement 121 00:06:07,101 --> 00:06:08,900 Supplements. >> I've never seen this man 122 00:06:08,902 --> 00:06:10,268 Before, bob. I bet he's spam! 123 00:06:10,270 --> 00:06:12,838 >> hey, I'm just a normal guy who values dub-chub's commitment 124 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,107 To increasing the girth and length of my cream cannon. 125 00:06:15,109 --> 00:06:16,842 >> can I see your I.P. Address, please? 126 00:06:16,844 --> 00:06:18,577 >> sure, sure, sure. Hey, wait a second. 127 00:06:18,579 --> 00:06:20,278 What are these? A free month's trial of 128 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,346 Dub-chub?! Holy moly! 129 00:06:21,348 --> 00:06:23,315 You're about to seriously upgrade your meatbag! 130 00:06:23,317 --> 00:06:28,019 >> flag as spam and delete. >> oh, no, bro! 131 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:30,555 >> let that be a lesson to any spam out there! 132 00:06:30,557 --> 00:06:33,191 We will find you! >> looking for local sluts who 133 00:06:33,193 --> 00:06:35,160 Just want to bone down? It's free. 134 00:06:35,162 --> 00:06:37,295 All you need is a credit-card number. 135 00:06:37,297 --> 00:06:39,598 >> oh, yeah. She sounds definitely legit. 136 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,733 >> awake, my sleeping beauty, and we will -- 137 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,935 >> oh, my god. I just had the weirdest dream. 138 00:06:43,937 --> 00:06:46,605 I was in the house where I grew up, except it wasn't that 139 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,340 House -- it was a different house. 140 00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:50,542 But the furniture was still from the house I grew up in... 141 00:06:50,544 --> 00:06:52,911 >> oh, that's -- that's great. >> ...And it had a patio, but it 142 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,479 Was the patio from my first apartment. 143 00:06:54,481 --> 00:06:56,715 >> [ muffled ] aaaaaaaaaaaah! >> and, also, I knew spanish. 144 00:06:56,717 --> 00:07:00,919 >> ice clan warriors, we have a new weapon in our fight against 145 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:03,622 The stone clan! Behold the beasts of 146 00:07:03,624 --> 00:07:06,324 The bone age! >> uh, how is this happening? 147 00:07:06,326 --> 00:07:08,827 >> I don't know. >> they have no connective 148 00:07:08,829 --> 00:07:11,229 Tissue! >> help us wrap our heads around 149 00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:13,832 The mythology, man. >> honestly, these things just 150 00:07:13,834 --> 00:07:16,034 Came walking over a hill, so let's ride 'em! 151 00:07:16,036 --> 00:07:18,069 I call the pterodactyl! >> [ screeches ] 152 00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,839 >> okay. So, we're riding these [bleep] bareback? 153 00:07:20,841 --> 00:07:23,542 That's the plan? >> ohh, my coccyx is on pure 154 00:07:23,544 --> 00:07:25,744 Bone! >> I really wish we'd discussed 155 00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:27,312 Saddles! >> mother of god! 156 00:07:27,314 --> 00:07:30,382 Why did I pick the stegosaurus?! >> faster! Faster! 157 00:07:30,384 --> 00:07:32,751 This is glorious! >> [bleep] you! 158 00:07:32,753 --> 00:07:35,887 You're smoothly flying! >> mud pits dead ahead! 159 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,423 Prepare to jump, riders! >> aah! 160 00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:40,559 >> aaaah! >> oh, god! My tailbone! 161 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,727 >> why didn't we just go around?! 162 00:07:42,729 --> 00:07:45,063 >> oh, sweet mother! It's impaling my anus! 163 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,499 >> we're here! Ready your weapons! 164 00:07:47,501 --> 00:07:51,369 >> hey, ptero, we have a bone to pick with you. 165 00:07:51,371 --> 00:07:54,005 [ laughter ] >> 22 hours later, the bone age 166 00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,908 Warriors all died from internal bruising. 167 00:07:56,910 --> 00:07:59,744 >> keep it steady, baloo! It's time for a little 168 00:07:59,746 --> 00:08:02,280 Cloud surfing! >> hey, that's not a real thing. 169 00:08:02,282 --> 00:08:05,383 >> yeah! Ohh! 170 00:08:05,385 --> 00:08:09,154 >> kit. >> the channel 6 news masquerade 171 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:13,191 Ball is the perfect opportunity for me to kidnap April o'neil. 172 00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:16,228 She's the perfect bait to catch the turtles. 173 00:08:16,230 --> 00:08:19,698 Wow! Out of that bulky lesbian jump 174 00:08:19,700 --> 00:08:23,502 Suit, she's hot as shit! >> care to dance, mr. Potter? 175 00:08:23,504 --> 00:08:24,703 >> what?! [ twinkle! ] 176 00:08:24,705 --> 00:08:26,538 And what's your costume? >> belle from 177 00:08:26,540 --> 00:08:28,306 "beauty and the beast" but a dick slut. 178 00:08:28,308 --> 00:08:32,377 >> is your favorite restaurant taco "belle"? 179 00:08:32,379 --> 00:08:35,514 [ both laugh ] >> you are hilarious. 180 00:08:35,516 --> 00:08:38,383 >> on the count of three, say your favorite band. 181 00:08:38,385 --> 00:08:42,120 1, 2, 3! >> both: Toad the wet sprocket! 182 00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,089 [ both smooching ] [ twinkle! ] 183 00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,790 >> [ gasps ] wait. Are you -- 184 00:08:45,792 --> 00:08:49,327 >> in love? Yes. What?! Bye! 185 00:08:49,329 --> 00:08:52,531 >> shredder? >> think of something poetic or 186 00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:54,399 Real cool. But soft! 187 00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:57,702 You are total boner food! >> oh, shredder. 188 00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,639 My heart doesn't take sides. >> people won't approve. 189 00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:03,909 >> no one can keep us apart. [ both smooching ] 190 00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:06,211 >> oh, hell to the no! Ugh! 191 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:08,246 >> we're soul mates! We both love 192 00:09:08,248 --> 00:09:10,715 Toad the wet sprocket! >> toad the what?! 193 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:13,285 Is that a sex thing?! Have you guys had sex? 194 00:09:13,287 --> 00:09:15,620 >> no -- just dry humping and ball play. 195 00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:18,790 >> ball play?! Ugh! >> you must stay away from 196 00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,825 Shredder, April. He is dangerous. 197 00:09:20,827 --> 00:09:23,395 Sleep here tonight. Donatello, grab the guest 198 00:09:23,397 --> 00:09:25,030 Pillows. 199 00:09:27,967 --> 00:09:30,168 >> [ gasps ] what are you doing here? 200 00:09:30,170 --> 00:09:33,338 >> I came to say hi and also have sex after the whole "hi" 201 00:09:33,340 --> 00:09:34,673 Thing. >> it's like 202 00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,542 Six flags hurricane harbor in my panties right now. 203 00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:39,811 [ both smooching ] mm-mmm! 204 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,913 You really toaded my wet sprocket. 205 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,449 When will I see you again? >> soon, I hope. 206 00:09:44,451 --> 00:09:46,952 I should go before the turtles wake up. 207 00:09:46,954 --> 00:09:49,888 Plus, I have some major extenze farts coming on. 208 00:09:49,890 --> 00:09:52,457 [ farts ] >> April, just go on one date 209 00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,459 With casey. He's a good guy. 210 00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:56,995 >> casey is a jobless loser in sweats! 211 00:09:56,997 --> 00:09:59,631 >> good start to my morning. >> so I left. 212 00:09:59,633 --> 00:10:02,601 What should I do, mr. Rat king? I belong with shredder. 213 00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:05,337 >> I have an idea! And my idea involves you taking 214 00:10:05,339 --> 00:10:09,007 A lot of poison very quickly. >> go on. 215 00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:12,811 >> it can't be. April! No! 216 00:10:12,813 --> 00:10:15,614 Why?! >> ow! Ow! Ow! What the [bleep] 217 00:10:15,616 --> 00:10:18,283 Shredder! >> April! You're alive! 218 00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:21,353 >> the poison only made me appear dead. 219 00:10:21,355 --> 00:10:24,923 Didn't you read "romeo and juliet," you [bleep] 220 00:10:24,925 --> 00:10:27,258 Ass clown? Guh! 221 00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:31,229 >> noooooooooo! 222 00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:38,103 Just gonna take my toad the wet sprocket bootleg 223 00:10:38,105 --> 00:10:42,841 >> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 224 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:44,976 ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 225 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,112 ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 226 00:10:47,114 --> 00:10:49,280 ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 227 00:10:49,282 --> 00:10:51,416 ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ 228 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,618 ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪ 229 00:10:53,620 --> 00:10:55,520 Ba-gawk! Bawk.