[ thunder crashes ] >> [ laughs evilly ]
[ sawing ]
[ electricity crackles ] >> it's alive!
[ thunder crashes ] >> [ laughs evilly ]
[ smooch! ] [ laughs evilly ]
>> [ chitters ] lucas, darwin have question for
You. >> what is it, darwin?
>> was this the only voice left at the asshole store?
'cause stephen hawking wouldn't tell your mom to suck his
[bleep] with this voice. >> oh. Do you want to go back
To seaworld? >> no, no, no. We cool.
We cool. >> bobby, I think we're lost.
>> well, you found us. >> what the heck are those
Things?! >> why, them's the boglins!
>> joe's gonna sing a song! >> oh, I love when joe sings!
>> ♪ well, there are some creatures you might not know ♪
♪ always burpin' and playin' ♪ ♪ and splashin' to and fro ♪
♪ sometimes troublemakin' ♪ ♪ they're the boglins ♪
>> ♪ we're the boglins ♪ >> ♪ and they smell like
Deep ass ♪ >> wait. What?
>> ♪ picture the worst ass smell that you smelled, now multiply
That by the biggest number that exists in math ♪
♪ that's how the boglins smell ♪ >> I think we're good on the
Song. >> ♪ they spend all day stewing
In their own pee and crap ♪ ♪ they also eat and [bleep]
Their dead ♪ >> oh, god.
>> ♪ and on the eighth day, god regretted giving life to
The boglins ♪
And...? >> and we're legally required to
Tell you we're registered sex offenders.
>> I'm currently unregistered.
>> turtles, strength comes from within, and you must find that
Strength. [ munching ]
>> splinter, are you eating garbage?
>> what?! Ew! Gross! This shouldn't be sitting
Around, so I'm going to take the garbage out and you get back to
Your lesson. >> you're taking it to your
Room. >> you're taking it to your
Room. Hey, guys.
Remember when I ate garbage by accident?
So gross, right? >> yep. It was gross.
>> dare me to do it again? You'd have to dare me,
'cause...Ew. >> no. We're good.
>> splinter? Are you okay in there?
>> you don't want to see this. >> those are used tissues,
Splinter! >> I know! I know!
I'm a [bleep] rat! Soak it in!
This is splinter's rock bottom! >> no, eating that used tampon
Is your rock bottom. >> it's April fresh!
[ twinkle! ] >> magic mirror, tell me today,
Have all my "romper room" friends had fun at play?
I see jenny and tommy and alan and...
[ demonic voice ] fire -- fire raining down from the heavens!
[ normal voice ] and sandy and robbie.
>> aaah! [ alarm blaring ]
>> mantech, this place is gonna blow!
>> the only way you'll make it out is if someone stays behind
And keeps the core from overheating.
[ blaring continues ]
>> what's happening? >> sorry. I made a face that I
Thought conveyed it, but I guess you can't see 'cause of my
Helmet. I'm going to sacrifice myself.
>> steve, you can't see because of my helmet, but I am crying
Right now. >> I believe you, ken.
>> due to helmet and armor mobility issues, what I'm going
To do won't really translate, but I'm going to give you a
Subtle yet loaded nod. [ clank! Clank! ]
That was it. >> pat, that was beautiful.
You're like a father to me. Don't do this!
>> hey! Look at me! Look...At...Me!
>> I am. >> what do you see?
>> an enormous helmet. >> do you see fear?
>> I don't think so, sir. >> that's right, so you stay
Strong, too, soldier. >> we need our leader!
You are mantech -- I'm gonna be sick.
[ vomits ] I'm so sorry.
Did some throw-up get in your helmet vent?
>> yes. >> how much?
>> a lot. >> I'm sorry.
>> I know. Go! You don't have much time!
We are the men! >> all: The men of mantech!
>> heads up! Low beam! Stupid helmet!
>> 'sup, bob? >> walking straight today?
>> yep! I'm a lemming! Whoops! Whoa!
>> whoa! >> whoa.
>> hey, ralph! What are you up to?
>> I'm holding a ticking bomb. >> neat!
[ boom! Zap! ] >> hey, tom.
You building a bridge? >> yep. Not finished.
>> sounds good. Here we go! >> great bridge.
>> I retire tomorrow. >> hey, the bridge is up!
Isn't that great?!
>> hi, honey. How was your day?
>> they're all dead! It should have been me!
[ sobbing ] it should have been m-e-e-e-e-e-e-e!
>> hello. I am looking for a gift for my grandson's birthday.
Do you carry sweaters that don't fit and are [bleep] stupid?
>> hi! I'm rick "the animal" sanders,
I also designed and built the most powerful monster truck in
History, the animal! >> [ roars ]
>> the animal has giant beast claws jutting out of its tires!
That's why you should haul ass down to animal discount auto!
Drive drunk! You'll get here faster!
Every car's an animal, like this live possum!
[ snarling ] hate traffic?
So does the animal! >> I'm late for my weekly
Baccarat game. Eat a [bleep] traffic!
Whoo-hoo! >> we've even got boats!
Aye, aye, mother [bleep]! So head on down to
Animal discount auto and remember -- nothing can stop
The animal! >> owning and operating an
Animal is illegal. >> I [bleep] trees!
>> look at me! >> a flasher!
>> wait. No, wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
Wait! Wait! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
>> people of mainframe, beware! The evil virus megabyte has
Turned off the users' computer spamware filter!
>> that's crazy! Even bad news like this can't
Get me down, though. I just doubled the size of my
Dong in four days with new dub-chub male enhancement
Supplements. >> I've never seen this man
Before, bob. I bet he's spam!
>> hey, I'm just a normal guy who values dub-chub's commitment
To increasing the girth and length of my cream cannon.
>> can I see your I.P. Address, please?
>> sure, sure, sure. Hey, wait a second.
What are these? A free month's trial of
Dub-chub?! Holy moly!
You're about to seriously upgrade your meatbag!
>> flag as spam and delete. >> oh, no, bro!
>> let that be a lesson to any spam out there!
We will find you! >> looking for local sluts who
Just want to bone down? It's free.
All you need is a credit-card number.
>> oh, yeah. She sounds definitely legit.
>> awake, my sleeping beauty, and we will --
>> oh, my god. I just had the weirdest dream.
I was in the house where I grew up, except it wasn't that
House -- it was a different house.
But the furniture was still from the house I grew up in...
>> oh, that's -- that's great. >> ...And it had a patio, but it
Was the patio from my first apartment.
>> [ muffled ] aaaaaaaaaaaah! >> and, also, I knew spanish.
>> ice clan warriors, we have a new weapon in our fight against
The stone clan! Behold the beasts of
The bone age! >> uh, how is this happening?
>> I don't know. >> they have no connective
Tissue! >> help us wrap our heads around
The mythology, man. >> honestly, these things just
Came walking over a hill, so let's ride 'em!
I call the pterodactyl! >> [ screeches ]
>> okay. So, we're riding these [bleep] bareback?
That's the plan? >> ohh, my coccyx is on pure
Bone! >> I really wish we'd discussed
Saddles! >> mother of god!
Why did I pick the stegosaurus?! >> faster! Faster!
This is glorious! >> [bleep] you!
You're smoothly flying! >> mud pits dead ahead!
Prepare to jump, riders! >> aah!
>> aaaah! >> oh, god! My tailbone!
>> why didn't we just go around?!
>> oh, sweet mother! It's impaling my anus!
>> we're here! Ready your weapons!
>> hey, ptero, we have a bone to pick with you.
[ laughter ] >> 22 hours later, the bone age
Warriors all died from internal bruising.
>> keep it steady, baloo! It's time for a little
Cloud surfing! >> hey, that's not a real thing.
>> yeah! Ohh!
>> kit. >> the channel 6 news masquerade
Ball is the perfect opportunity for me to kidnap April o'neil.
She's the perfect bait to catch the turtles.
Wow! Out of that bulky lesbian jump
Suit, she's hot as shit! >> care to dance, mr. Potter?
>> what?! [ twinkle! ]
And what's your costume? >> belle from
"beauty and the beast" but a dick slut.
>> is your favorite restaurant taco "belle"?
[ both laugh ] >> you are hilarious.
>> on the count of three, say your favorite band.
1, 2, 3! >> both: Toad the wet sprocket!
[ both smooching ] [ twinkle! ]
>> [ gasps ] wait. Are you --
>> in love? Yes. What?! Bye!
>> shredder? >> think of something poetic or
Real cool. But soft!
You are total boner food! >> oh, shredder.
My heart doesn't take sides. >> people won't approve.
>> no one can keep us apart. [ both smooching ]
>> oh, hell to the no! Ugh!
>> we're soul mates! We both love
Toad the wet sprocket! >> toad the what?!
Is that a sex thing?! Have you guys had sex?
>> no -- just dry humping and ball play.
>> ball play?! Ugh! >> you must stay away from
Shredder, April. He is dangerous.
Sleep here tonight. Donatello, grab the guest
Pillows.
>> [ gasps ] what are you doing here?
>> I came to say hi and also have sex after the whole "hi"
Thing. >> it's like
Six flags hurricane harbor in my panties right now.
[ both smooching ] mm-mmm!
You really toaded my wet sprocket.
When will I see you again? >> soon, I hope.
I should go before the turtles wake up.
Plus, I have some major extenze farts coming on.
[ farts ] >> April, just go on one date
With casey. He's a good guy.
>> casey is a jobless loser in sweats!
>> good start to my morning. >> so I left.
What should I do, mr. Rat king? I belong with shredder.
>> I have an idea! And my idea involves you taking
A lot of poison very quickly. >> go on.
>> it can't be. April! No!
Why?! >> ow! Ow! Ow! What the [bleep]
Shredder! >> April! You're alive!
>> the poison only made me appear dead.
Didn't you read "romeo and juliet," you [bleep]
Ass clown? Guh!
>> noooooooooo!
Just gonna take my toad the wet sprocket bootleg
>> ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪ ♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk ♪
♪ ba-bawk bawk bawk-a-wawk wawk bawk bawk ♪
Ba-gawk! Bawk.