1
00:00:05,038 --> 00:00:08,941
[ thunder crashes ]
>> [ laughs evilly ]
2
00:00:08,943 --> 00:00:10,943
[ sawing ]
3
00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:19,852
[ electricity crackles ]
>> it's alive!
4
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:32,531
[ thunder crashes ]
>> [ laughs evilly ]
5
00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:35,834
[ smooch! ]
[ laughs evilly ]
6
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:40,472
>> captain von trapp, the hills
are alive!
7
00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,941
>> with the sound of music.
Yes, maria, I know.
8
00:00:42,943 --> 00:00:44,977
>> no, you fool!
The hills are alive!
9
00:00:44,979 --> 00:00:49,181
[ both growling ]
>> autobots, we must defeat
10
00:00:49,183 --> 00:00:50,949
Megatron.
[ fanfare plays ]
11
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,585
>> we are the zybots!
We can also transform.
12
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:58,590
Let us help you fight.
>> uh...
13
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:03,796
Brave zybots, I am 100% sure you
would die.
14
00:01:03,798 --> 00:01:08,467
>> okay!
Well, thanks for your time.
15
00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:11,937
>> that was just sad.
>> whew! Sorry I'm late.
16
00:01:11,939 --> 00:01:15,040
>> uh, who are you?
>> I'm -- I'm an -- I'm an
17
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:19,344
Autobot like you.
My name is autobot...Johnson.
18
00:01:19,346 --> 00:01:22,815
>> you look exactly like the
zybots we just spoke to hastily
19
00:01:22,817 --> 00:01:26,018
Cobbled together to form a
bigger, weirder zybot.
20
00:01:26,020 --> 00:01:28,287
>> uh, okay.
Who hired this guy?
21
00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:30,756
>> oh, shit!
Give me a second here.
22
00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:34,126
Ugh! Just one second!
Aah! Ugh!
23
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:36,695
There.
>> if you're an autobot, then
24
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:39,131
Transform with loud, showy
noises.
25
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,166
>> you bet!
>> kee-kah! Khwah!
26
00:01:41,168 --> 00:01:43,602
[ all groaning ]
>> true talk -- we lied.
27
00:01:43,604 --> 00:01:45,370
But we don't need your
permission.
28
00:01:45,372 --> 00:01:49,308
We'll fight megatron all by
ourselves.
29
00:01:52,245 --> 00:01:56,648
>> megatron, meet the zybots!
>> not the zybots!
30
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:59,251
>> aah!
>> aaaaaaaaah!
31
00:01:59,253 --> 00:02:00,786
>> we did it.
We did it!
32
00:02:00,788 --> 00:02:05,524
We did I-I-I-I-t!
>> megatron, what the [bleep]
33
00:02:05,526 --> 00:02:07,826
Bro?!
>> oh, those guys were cute.
34
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:10,963
They really looked like they
needed a "w."
35
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:14,032
>> where is he, marjory?
>> I don't know what you're
36
00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:16,702
Talking about.
>> you've been cheating on me
37
00:02:16,704 --> 00:02:20,239
With one of these?!
>> unh! Once you go qr code, you
38
00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:24,977
Never take another barcode load.
[ all grunting ]
39
00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:29,581
>> you do realize changing faces
has zero relevance to combat,
40
00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:32,184
Right?
>> well, my fist is very
41
00:02:32,186 --> 00:02:33,819
Relevant.
[ watch beeps ]
42
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:37,656
Ah, I got to jet, guys.
My play is opening tonight!
43
00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:42,528
Rubber baby buggy bumpers.
Rubber baby buggy bumpers!
44
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:45,597
>> I can't believe he's leaving
us for his acting bullshit.
45
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:48,167
>> let's crash his play and
yell, "you suck!" at
46
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,869
Inappropriate moments.
>> hey, what the [bleep] guys?
47
00:02:50,871 --> 00:02:55,174
Aah! [bleep] [bleep] [bleep]
>> [ laughs ]
48
00:02:55,176 --> 00:02:58,443
What a doucheblast.
>> though cursed with a
49
00:02:58,445 --> 00:03:01,880
Monster's face, you,
catherine -- you've seen the man
50
00:03:01,882 --> 00:03:04,449
Inside.
How ironic that they say love is
51
00:03:04,451 --> 00:03:08,654
Blind, because it took love to
open my eyes.
52
00:03:08,656 --> 00:03:12,624
[ cheers and applause ]
>> he's brilliant!
53
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:14,993
>> we had no idea you were so
talented, man.
54
00:03:14,995 --> 00:03:19,865
>> hi, there. Herb schwartz.
You, sir, are gonna be a star.
55
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:22,968
>> "my husband is also a robot"
is filmed before a live studio
56
00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:25,137
Audience.
>> steve, it's your night to do
57
00:03:25,139 --> 00:03:28,073
The dishes.
>> [ robotic voice ] "dishes"
58
00:03:28,075 --> 00:03:30,909
Does not compute.
My directive is to watch
59
00:03:30,911 --> 00:03:33,645
Football.
[ wah-wah! ]
60
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:41,286
>> that stunt you pulled on the
subway cost the city $18 million
61
00:03:41,288 --> 00:03:43,222
In damages!
Which one of you wants to
62
00:03:43,224 --> 00:03:46,858
Explain what happened?!
>> both: Not it!
63
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:51,263
>> and the best actor oscar goes
to man-e-faces for "reaching
64
00:03:51,265 --> 00:03:54,967
Into darkness: The story of
helen keller's father,
65
00:03:54,969 --> 00:03:58,170
Arthur keller."
>> [ sobbing ] oh, why?!
66
00:03:58,172 --> 00:04:03,141
Why is my daughter's hand wet?!
Who put water on my daughter's
67
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,143
Hand?!
>> what's next?
68
00:04:05,145 --> 00:04:07,713
Show me the new face.
>> but I only have three.
69
00:04:07,715 --> 00:04:10,015
>> what the hell, man?
Your name should be
70
00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,718
"two-more-faces."
>> [ sobbing ] oh, I'm so
71
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,254
[bleep]
I signed a 95-picture deal.
72
00:04:15,256 --> 00:04:19,057
>> "mr. Monster goes to fart
school" is yet another reheated
73
00:04:19,059 --> 00:04:21,460
Piece of dog crap from
man-e-faces.
74
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:24,062
>> don't get too down.
I love "mr. Monster goes to fart
75
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:25,197
School."
>> really?
76
00:04:25,199 --> 00:04:27,499
>> no, man.
You fart like a hack.
77
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:29,701
>> this is bucky o'hare,
requesting to land on
78
00:04:29,703 --> 00:04:33,839
Moonport 4-5.
One sec. Got to mate again.
79
00:04:33,841 --> 00:04:36,775
[ grunting in distance ]
my apologies.
80
00:04:36,777 --> 00:04:40,612
Requesting to land -- whoops.
Matin' time.
81
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:42,948
>> warning. Warning. Warning.
[ alarm blaring ]
82
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:45,217
[ grunting in distance ]
[ boom! ]
83
00:04:45,219 --> 00:04:48,720
[ up-tempo music plays ]
>> dad, it's your son -- sam!
84
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:52,457
Dad, why did we leave the
electricity running in an arcade
85
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:57,929
We closed 20 years ago when you
disappeared?!
86
00:04:57,931 --> 00:05:00,465
Eh, couldn't hurt.
[ whirring ]
87
00:05:00,467 --> 00:05:02,834
Ohh! It does hurt!
I was totally wrong!
88
00:05:02,836 --> 00:05:07,172
I'm so stupi-- aaah! Aaah!
Aaaah! Ohhh! Ohh.
89
00:05:07,174 --> 00:05:10,942
Wh-where am I?
>> you're in the digital world,
90
00:05:10,944 --> 00:05:14,479
Like a game grid but on pcp!
I'm koromon, a digimon!
91
00:05:14,481 --> 00:05:18,283
Digivolve me into a little
yellow dinosaur and we can --
92
00:05:18,285 --> 00:05:21,620
Aaaaaaaah!
>> dad?! Da-a-a-a-d!
93
00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:24,790
[ all murmuring excitedly ]
>> sam! Is that really you?
94
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:27,392
>> did you create this world?!
It's amazing!
95
00:05:27,394 --> 00:05:31,029
>> I tried to kill myself, but
they won't let me die!
96
00:05:31,031 --> 00:05:34,866
I curse jesus' name, son!
I hate god so very, very much!
97
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:37,202
>> I found you, dad!
That's what matters!
98
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:40,205
>> I had sex with them!
Tokomon was the most gentle, but
99
00:05:40,207 --> 00:05:43,008
I say that within the context of
it being terrible!
100
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:46,278
>> shit, dad! That is gross!
>> but you're here now!
101
00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:48,146
We can figure a way out
together!
102
00:05:48,148 --> 00:05:51,316
>> before I came here, I told
the electric company to turn the
103
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:53,452
Power off!
This whole place is about to
104
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:56,655
De-rez!
[ all crying ]
105
00:05:56,657 --> 00:05:58,824
>> son, it is still a sweet
release.
106
00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:00,859
At last, I'll know peace.
>> ohh!
107
00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:04,162
This isn't peaceful at all!
Oh, my god!
108
00:06:04,164 --> 00:06:07,499
>> remember, sex ed is a safe
place to ask questions with no
109
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:08,600
Judgment.
Yes?
110
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:11,636
You have a question, stretch?
>> uh, is it normal when you
111
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:14,740
Touch yourself for your penis to
get longer and softer and really
112
00:06:14,742 --> 00:06:18,744
Stringy?
Because my friend asked me, and
113
00:06:18,746 --> 00:06:21,813
I was like, "no way, weirdo.
Mine's not like that."
114
00:06:21,815 --> 00:06:24,883
Unless that's normal.
'cause, yeah, it's not to me,
115
00:06:24,885 --> 00:06:28,854
Right?
Up high!
116
00:06:28,856 --> 00:06:31,056
>> wow!
The top of mount everest!
117
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:33,859
I did it! Whew!
I'm just gonna take a little
118
00:06:33,861 --> 00:06:37,662
Break, maybe -- ohhhhhhh!
The top of mount everest just
119
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:41,266
Went up my butt!
>> all right! Awesome!
120
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:46,671
>> patrons of medieval times,
your champion, the blue knight!
121
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:51,243
>> mom, look!
Blue knight, you're my hero!
122
00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:56,114
>> why, thank you, squire!
All hail the king!
123
00:06:56,116 --> 00:06:58,450
>> all hail the king!
>> oh [bleep] me.
124
00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:01,253
I locked my keys in my car.
>> hey, you have aaa?
125
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:04,489
>> no, I don't have aaa!
Who the [bleep] do I look like,
126
00:07:04,491 --> 00:07:07,259
Scrooge [bleep] mcduck?!
>> just trying to help.
127
00:07:07,261 --> 00:07:09,528
>> oh, oh, oh, good. Good.
Well, let me help you.
128
00:07:09,530 --> 00:07:12,230
Why don't you go find a dick --
yeah -- put it in between two
129
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:14,766
Pieces of bread, and then go
[bleep] eat it, you [bleep]
130
00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:16,468
Retard?
[ grunts ]
131
00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:20,772
Hey, window, blow me.
Ohhh! Ohh! Son of a bitch!
132
00:07:20,774 --> 00:07:24,109
Oh, mother of christ!
I just broke my hand!
133
00:07:24,111 --> 00:07:28,280
I don't have health insurance,
and I broke my g.D. Hand!
134
00:07:28,282 --> 00:07:30,949
Ahh! There!
Ha!
135
00:07:30,951 --> 00:07:33,652
[ grunts ]
can't get the [bleep] open!
136
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:36,221
Ohh.
Get off!
137
00:07:36,223 --> 00:07:39,524
Oh, I'm [bleep] wet.
[ engine sputters ]
138
00:07:39,526 --> 00:07:44,229
No gas?! Oh [bleep]
time to pay it forward,
139
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:46,231
Butt muffin.
[ slurps ]
140
00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:48,266
[ gagging ]
oh, that's nasty!
141
00:07:48,268 --> 00:07:51,136
Oh, I just drank some gas!
[ hawks phlegm ]
142
00:07:51,138 --> 00:07:52,737
[ splat! ]
>> ew, gross!
143
00:07:52,739 --> 00:07:54,639
>> get over yourself, princess!
144
00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:00,111
[ engine turns over,
tires screech ]
145
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:02,447
All hail the king!
>> aah!
146
00:08:02,449 --> 00:08:06,418
>> oh, shit. I killed that dude.
He's dead.
147
00:08:06,420 --> 00:08:09,354
>> well, guess I'm a red knight
fan now, mom.
148
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:11,623
>> yeah. Call me "daddy."
>> no!
149
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:15,026
>> I was talking to her.
>> will it be an early spring or
150
00:08:15,028 --> 00:08:17,829
A late winter?
Only punxsutawney phil knows for
151
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,831
Sure.
[ rumbling ]
152
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,200
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
Get back!
153
00:08:22,202 --> 00:08:25,136
>> it's winter -- a winter like
you've never seen!
154
00:08:25,138 --> 00:08:31,576
Run, you fools!
>> [ roaring ]
155
00:08:31,578 --> 00:08:36,615
>> what's that, beverly?
You want wesley to watch?
156
00:08:36,617 --> 00:08:39,818
Make it so.
Aah! [ clears throat ]
157
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,988
2300 hours.
Time for the night crew to
158
00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:46,024
Relieve us.
Captain.
159
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:48,960
>> capitán.
[ mid-tempo r&b music plays ]
160
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:51,830
>> ♪ aw, yeah! ♪
>> night crew may take course.
161
00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:57,702
Space -- the final frontier!
These are the 11:00 p.M. To
162
00:08:57,704 --> 00:08:59,838
7:00 a.M. Voyages of the
enterprise's night crew.
163
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:04,843
Its continuing mission is...
♪ to partay! ♪
164
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:07,045
[ up-tempo dance music plays ]
[ record scratching ]
165
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:11,683
>> chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
>> captain jake, a borg cube is
166
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:14,719
Hailing us.
>> maybe they want us to turn
167
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,821
Down our jams.
Fat chance!
168
00:09:16,823 --> 00:09:19,925
>> lower your shields.
Your culture will adapt to
169
00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,561
Service us.
>> you want us to service you?
170
00:09:22,563 --> 00:09:25,397
>> affirmative.
You will service the borg -- all
171
00:09:25,399 --> 00:09:27,432
Night if needed.
>> [ giggles ]
172
00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:30,735
>> wait. Our hive mind has
assimilated double entendres.
173
00:09:30,737 --> 00:09:33,305
Real mature, guys.
Prepare for assimilation.
174
00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:37,409
>> our shields won't last long,
sir.
175
00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:40,845
Should we wake up the bald guy?
[ fizz! ]
176
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:43,481
>> [ gulping ]
no way, commander lafreak!
177
00:09:43,483 --> 00:09:46,217
We'll beat the borg just like we
beat that frat on gallos-7.
178
00:09:46,219 --> 00:09:48,286
>> we'll sell naked photos of
their girlfriends at a
179
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:49,854
Pie-eating contest?
>> what? No!
180
00:09:49,856 --> 00:09:52,324
Like any frat, the borg share a
hive mind, man.
181
00:09:52,326 --> 00:09:54,926
If we get one borg to party, all
borg will party!
182
00:09:54,928 --> 00:09:58,296
Night crew, prepare to rock out
with our spocks out!
183
00:09:58,298 --> 00:10:02,567
[ all cheer ]
did somebody order a partygram?
184
00:10:02,569 --> 00:10:06,071
[ up-tempo dance music playing ]
[ all cheering ]
185
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:09,474
[ saxophone plays discordant
riff ]
186
00:10:09,476 --> 00:10:13,812
Wet t-shirt contest!
Oh, right -- no shirt.
187
00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:16,748
You want mine?
Oh, chill out, dude!
188
00:10:16,750 --> 00:10:20,185
Wait -- is she your daughter?
>> enough! Partying is futile!
189
00:10:20,187 --> 00:10:23,755
>> [ groaning ]
>> your blood, so full of beer.
190
00:10:23,757 --> 00:10:28,393
Your party...So hearty!
[ grunting ]
191
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:31,663
Whoo-hoo!
[ all murmuring ]
192
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:34,666
>> now, this I can assimilate!
193
00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:40,572
>> captain jake, starfleet
thanks you for defeating the
194
00:10:40,574 --> 00:10:41,973
Borg.
>> bitchin'!
195
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,877
>> night cre-e-e-e-e-e-w!
Beer me.
196
00:10:45,879 --> 00:10:51,883
[ laughter ]
you glorious sons of bitches!
197
00:10:51,885 --> 00:10:53,952
[ up-tempo dance music plays ]
198
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:09,300
[ saxophone plays discordant
riff ]