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Previously on Scorpion...
♪ ...Meu amigo amigvel. ♪

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I found a mathematical formula
for their dance tracks,

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00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:09,777
and a few weeks later,
I had royalties coming in.

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If I uncuff him
without a direct order,

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I violate a half a
dozen federal statutes.

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Collins!

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(laughs)

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Agent Gallo, you're under arrest
for instigating an escape.

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I want a lawyer.

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I want to be your attorney.

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You want to what? I can do this.

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I want a family.
I've always wanted a family.

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And I want one with
you, 'cause I love you.

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Shall we start now?

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(phone chimes)

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WOMAN: You may
proceed, Counselor.

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Counselor?

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(whispering): You're up.

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Oh. She means me.

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Right, I am a "counselor" now.
Okay.

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(sighs)

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Your Honor...

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or would you prefer "Judge"?

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'Cause "Your Honor"...

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It-it just sounds so formal.

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But we-we are...
in a, uh, formal setting.

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Either will do.

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Okay, then. "Your Honor" it is.

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I move for an
immediate dismissal

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of all the charges
against my client,

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Cabe Gallo,
who is accused of abetting

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the escape of federal inmate Mark
Collins, on the grounds

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that if my client had
acted in any other manner,

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it would have been
in direct violation

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of Mr. Collins'
constitutional rights.

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Thank you.

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This is the part
of the proceedings

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where you elaborate, Counselor.

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SYLVESTER: Right.

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(laughs) Of course.

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(clears throat)

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The Eighth Amendment forbids
cruel and unusual punishment.

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Yes, they taught us
that in law school.

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How does it pertain
to this case?

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Well, Honor...

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I mean, Your Judge... ship...

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This brief... Oh.

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(rifling through papers)

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This brief.

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Uh, it describes the
incident in question.

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If Agent Gallo had
r-run off without...

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Uh... Uncuffing.

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Right. Uncuffing the stun cuff

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from Mark Collins' fo, um...

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His ankle.

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(laughing): Yes.

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His ankle, then the prisoner
would have essentially

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been tortured by electrocution,

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which is in clear violation of
his Eighth Amendment rights.

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Okay.

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I follow your logic.

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And it is a good argument,

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especially for someone who
is clearly new at this.

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(laughs) But whether your client
was protecting Mr. Collins' rights

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or helping him escape is a
matter for a jury to decide,

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not me.

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This case will proceed to trial.

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The second I got in
front of that judge,

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my brain turned to Jell-O.

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I have an eidetic memory.

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I can remember the ingredients

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from a cereal box
from when I was eight,

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but in there,
I forgot the word "ankle."

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You can handle pressure.

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I've seen you save
the world with math

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that would make
Einstein cry uncle.

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Math? Math isn't a
persuasive argument.

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You'll do better next time.

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What's important is
today's your birthday.

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The big two-five.
Let's celebrate.

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I'll call the gang,
let 'em know what happened

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so when we get
there, we can focus

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on what's really
important: Sly's Big Day.

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Okay. Thanks, Cabe.

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(tuning guitar)

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HAPPY: What's up, boss?

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You wanted to see me? Yes.

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I need your expert opinion.

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My expert opinion is that,

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whatever you're doing
with the guitar,

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you should not record
on that fossil.

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Well, analog provides

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better signal-to-noise ratio.

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I am making a song for Paige.

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Okay, what did you do wrong
that now you have to do this?

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I, uh... I failed miserably

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at a live-music date
a few weeks ago,

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so I am making it up to her

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by writing a love ballad.

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And I figured since you
had a hit song in Portugal,

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that I would like for you
to evaluate my progress.

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Yeah, that song was garbage.

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I just used math.
Oh, yeah. Me, too.

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I created an
algorithm to analyze

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every major love song
over the past 75 years,

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and then I put together
an optimal combination

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of the most popular words.

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Oh, boy. Yep.

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So, from the '50s to the '70s,

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the most commonly
used word was "love".

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And then, oddly,
the emphasis shifted

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to "baby" in the '80s.

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And then songwriters
became infatuated

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with the word "booty,"

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which is slang for buttocks.

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Just play the song.

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Okay.

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♪ Your love is love is
love, baby ♪

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♪ You know your love
is love is love ♪

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♪ 'Cause I love you

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♪ And you love me

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♪ You've got a lovely

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♪ Booty

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♪ You let... What's wrong?

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Uh, all of it.
But most importantly,

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your song has no soul.

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I did exactly what you
did, and you got a hit.

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I rolled for the lowest
common denominator.

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You're trying to appeal
to a specific person,

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who might not be a genius,
but whose EQ is off the charts.

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You're not gonna fool her
with the cookie-cutter crap.

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You want to make
the waitress swoon?

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Okay, can the math,
look into your heart.

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Also, don't mention her booty.

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(door opens)

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Motion to dismiss got dismissed?

137
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My client has encouraged
me to focus on my birthday,

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so I will not discuss the case.

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You want to talk about it?

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You ever hear of the yips?

141
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What, like when a second baseman

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suddenly can't toss
the ball to first?

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Yeah. I think Sly's got 'em.
Wow.

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Sylvester's first
sports disorder.

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Figured it would be jock itch.

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I think he's in his head
about talking in court.

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I mean, I want to believe in the
kid, but...

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if he craps out, I'm dead.

149
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He's not taking it too well.

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At least his birthday
ought to cheer him up.

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Speaking of birthdays,

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how go the efforts
of putting a bun

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in Happy's oven?

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I'm not discussing
Happy's oven with you.

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You know, the other day I
was in the doctor's office,

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and I picked up one of
those women's magazines.

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There was an article that said
a lady has a better chance

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of conceiving if,
by the end, you know,

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she's... she's gotten
sprinkles on her cupcake.

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Are you making sure

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that Happy's getting
sprinkles on her cupcake, son?

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What?

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You know about sprinkles?

164
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Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know about sprinkles.

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Happy's got more sprinkles
than the ice cream man.

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All right.
'Cause if you need any tips

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in the gooty department...

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I don't need any tips.

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And please don't
ruin gooty for me.

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I'm just trying to help.

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Hey, guys, what's up?

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Nothing.
Nothing that concerns you.

173
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Um, okay.
Well, is everybody ready?

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We've got a long drive
to the festival grounds

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for Sylvester's big
birthday outing.

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You're telling me.

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When I worked for the FBI,
I used to have to schlep stuff

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out to the evidence warehouse,
not far from where we're going.

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It is in the middle of nowhere.

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Mm, centrally located.

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That's the only way they could
get the nerds out to Nerdfest

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to pull a profit.

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Oh, costumes. Toby. Uh...

184
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Happy.

185
00:07:33,587 --> 00:07:34,555
Not good.

186
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What's not good?

187
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We, sir, are headed to celebrate

188
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my day of birth at
the Los Angeles.

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Renaissance Festival.

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It's today, damn it.

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Oh, yes.

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And we will get in
ahead of the masses

193
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with these... our VIP passes.

194
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:56,644
So don your garb,

195
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for today,
we're gonna party like it's 1599.

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♪

197
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(record scratches)

198
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How long we been walking?

199
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Feels like forever.
This is ridiculous.

200
00:08:28,909 --> 00:08:30,711
Why'd they put the
parking lot so far away?

201
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,713
"No cars allowed on the site."

202
00:08:32,746 --> 00:08:36,149
This festival aims for
total authenticity.

203
00:08:36,183 --> 00:08:37,661
Really?
They had electrical transformers

204
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in the 1600s?
SYLVESTER: Oh, man,

205
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that isn't supposed to be thee.

206
00:08:40,087 --> 00:08:42,756
The county runs utility
lines through this area.

207
00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:44,167
Land's not good for
much, that's why they put

208
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,026
government warehouses out here.

209
00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:50,564
Let us not talk of such
crass matters as commerce.

210
00:08:50,598 --> 00:08:53,333
It is time to celebrate.

211
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:56,704
Let the revels commence!

212
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:10,718
Come on, birthday boy.

213
00:09:13,621 --> 00:09:15,789
The men here are
all pretending to be

214
00:09:15,823 --> 00:09:17,863
knights and warriors,
while the women are pretending

215
00:09:17,891 --> 00:09:19,059
to wash their clothes.

216
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:20,628
Even the fake past sucks.

217
00:09:20,661 --> 00:09:21,671
Oh, it couldn't
have been all bad.

218
00:09:21,695 --> 00:09:22,663
What about the age of chivalry?

219
00:09:22,696 --> 00:09:25,733
Make way, wench.

220
00:09:25,766 --> 00:09:27,034
Seriously? Would you...

221
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:29,036
All right, look...
Hey, hey, there's a blacksmith.

222
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,939
You like that kind of thing.
Come on.

223
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,141
Look at that. The simplicity

224
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:35,676
of this time period
is so amazing.

225
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:36,376
Yeah, well, you know,
if they really wanted

226
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,811
to make this place authentic,

227
00:09:37,845 --> 00:09:39,680
they would throw raw
sewage out in the street,

228
00:09:39,713 --> 00:09:41,124
and give a few of these
people the plague.

229
00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:43,851
They have authentic food.
They have big turkey legs

230
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:45,886
and roasted ears of corn.

231
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:48,055
Cheesy fries. Well...

232
00:09:48,088 --> 00:09:49,298
they could have had
cheesy French fries.

233
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,290
They had cheese,
they had potatoes,

234
00:09:50,323 --> 00:09:51,091
they had France.

235
00:09:51,124 --> 00:09:53,126
Actually, the potato was brought

236
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,696
from Peru to Spain
by conquistadors.

237
00:09:55,729 --> 00:09:57,998
This place is about fun.
It's not a history lesson.

238
00:09:58,031 --> 00:09:59,709
Actually,
this place needs a history lesson,

239
00:09:59,733 --> 00:10:02,002
starting with us...
it is silly for you to be dressed

240
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,379
as Maid Marian and
me as Robin Hood

241
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:04,848
because not not only
were Robin and Marian

242
00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:07,140
not figures of the Renaissance

243
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,076
but rather of the
late medieval period,

244
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:12,079
also, they were probably
not even real people at all.

245
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:13,080
(trumpet fanfare)

246
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,215
MAN: Make way for the king.

247
00:10:15,248 --> 00:10:17,885
WOMAN: My Lord.
MAN: Your Highness.

248
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,319
(horse neighing)

249
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,755
Clearly milady has chosen

250
00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,691
to grace our fine
English Festival dressed

251
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:24,725
as a hero of yesteryear.

252
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:27,995
I, King Phillip, hereby declare

253
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:29,663
her costume lacks
but one thing...

254
00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:31,264
A rose. (Paige gasps)

255
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,833
Which, alas, pales

256
00:10:32,866 --> 00:10:34,768
beside such beauty as your own.

257
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:37,137
Why, thank you, my liege.

258
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,673
Please, (chuckles) call me king.

259
00:10:39,707 --> 00:10:41,709
Actually,
King Phillip was Spanish,

260
00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:44,444
and an enemy of England
during the Renaissance.

261
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,680
Therefore, would most
certainly not be presiding

262
00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:47,948
over an English festival.

263
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,449
Enough. What is your problem?

264
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,384
The past is,
by definition, past.

265
00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:53,687
Pretending to be in it is silly.

266
00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:55,789
Whatever.
I'm going to enjoy the festival

267
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,791
on my own.

268
00:10:57,825 --> 00:11:00,127
Good morrow, my king.

269
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,030
Mmm. Milady.

270
00:11:03,063 --> 00:11:04,197
(sighs)

271
00:11:04,231 --> 00:11:07,167
A fool thinks himself
to be a wise man,

272
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:10,070
but a wise man knows
himself to be a fool.

273
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:12,740
(horse neighs)

274
00:11:12,773 --> 00:11:14,141
King coming through!

275
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:16,710
HAPPY: That is a caltrop.

276
00:11:16,744 --> 00:11:18,879
Medieval anti-cavalry device.

277
00:11:18,912 --> 00:11:22,315
It's like road strips cops use
to stop cars, but for horses.

278
00:11:22,349 --> 00:11:26,086
It's horrible,
but this guy's technique is excellent.

279
00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:28,789
Hey, she's taken.

280
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,490
He isn't flirting.

281
00:11:30,523 --> 00:11:31,759
I'm dressed like an idiot.

282
00:11:31,792 --> 00:11:33,794
Yeah, but you look amazing.

283
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,863
Really? This outfit, too?

284
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,130
I'm an executioner.

285
00:11:37,164 --> 00:11:38,899
What a way to go.

286
00:11:38,932 --> 00:11:40,333
Okay.

287
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,002
Meet me at the hayloft

288
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,479
at Ye Old Livery
Stable in five minutes.

289
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,338
I want to see this guy finish.

290
00:11:45,372 --> 00:11:48,141
As you wish.

291
00:11:48,175 --> 00:11:50,844
You, me lady,
shall experience pleasures

292
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:53,146
the likes of which no man...

293
00:11:53,180 --> 00:11:54,848
Don't ruin it.

294
00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,216
Copy that.

295
00:11:59,987 --> 00:12:01,755
Thank you.

296
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:03,924
Oh, Toby,
can I talk to you for a moment?

297
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:05,434
Yeah, you couldn't have
picked a worse time. No.

298
00:12:05,458 --> 00:12:07,103
It's driving me nuts that
Walter can't just relax

299
00:12:07,127 --> 00:12:09,262
and enjoy this place,
and if not for Sly, then for me.

300
00:12:09,296 --> 00:12:11,307
Yeah, well, Walter's Walter.
I got to go. No, please, Toby.

301
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:13,266
It's like, it's like every week

302
00:12:13,300 --> 00:12:15,235
I'm giving him
boyfriend lessons.

303
00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:17,838
I-I knew it would be
hard, but this hard?

304
00:12:17,871 --> 00:12:20,040
(scoffs) You and Happy

305
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:23,010
had problems but at
your cores you're alike.

306
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:24,244
And... (sighs) I don't know,

307
00:12:24,277 --> 00:12:26,914
we're just...
we're such different people.

308
00:12:26,947 --> 00:12:29,416
Yeah. Well, um,

309
00:12:29,449 --> 00:12:31,351
you know, Happy and I are, uh,

310
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:32,986
we're like, uh,
double chocolate,

311
00:12:33,020 --> 00:12:34,297
which-which is an
amazing flavor,

312
00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,857
but, um,
so is chocolate and peanut butter.

313
00:12:36,890 --> 00:12:39,426
You just got to give it some time.
Y-You know,

314
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,437
it took Happy and me a long
time to be on the same page.

315
00:12:41,461 --> 00:12:43,230
Look at us now.

316
00:12:43,263 --> 00:12:45,065
We're gonna get it
on in a hayloft.

317
00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,275
Ooh,
I'm happy to hear the effort

318
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:48,368
to bring us a Scorpion
baby continues apace.

319
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,470
Pardon the interruption,
kind sir,

320
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,505
but if a child is
thine heart's desire,

321
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:55,208
what wouldest thou say

322
00:12:55,242 --> 00:12:57,010
to this magical
pregnancy amulet?

323
00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,311
Anne Boleyn was wearing one

324
00:12:58,345 --> 00:13:00,881
when she conceived
Queen Elizabeth.

325
00:13:00,914 --> 00:13:03,016
Oh, yes, what wouldest thou say?

326
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:05,318
I'd say that story
and thine amulet

327
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,320
are pure skimble-skamble.

328
00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,023
Huh.

329
00:13:10,057 --> 00:13:12,292
Hey, look, Sly.

330
00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,527
It's your nerd buddies
from the Warlock's Chest.

331
00:13:14,561 --> 00:13:17,464
Yeah,
they play Renaissance Festivals

332
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,599
as the "Lord of the Sings."

333
00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,302
(gasps) They got Nightingale.

334
00:13:22,335 --> 00:13:24,404
He's a gamer.

335
00:13:24,437 --> 00:13:26,382
He usually frolics in Riverside,
but sometimes he jams with them

336
00:13:26,406 --> 00:13:27,975
because he's got
the voice of a...

337
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,309
A meadowlark?

338
00:13:29,342 --> 00:13:30,543
No, of a nightingale.

339
00:13:32,045 --> 00:13:34,247
A hale and hearty
Happy Birthday to thee,

340
00:13:34,281 --> 00:13:35,615
Sylvester the Conquestor.

341
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,050
SYLVESTER: Ah, dear Kaldor,

342
00:13:37,084 --> 00:13:38,485
today, I am disguised

343
00:13:38,518 --> 00:13:41,855
as astronomer Galileo Galilei.

344
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:44,224
And hail to thee as
well, Magnus Gallo.

345
00:13:44,257 --> 00:13:45,392
"Magnus"?

346
00:13:45,425 --> 00:13:47,260
Don't ask.

347
00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,462
Kaldor. Others.

348
00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:52,365
Sweet Lord Rayne
costume, Magnus.

349
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:53,466
Are you a Bladie, too?

350
00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,367
Come again?

351
00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:55,568
Chair of Blades.

352
00:13:55,602 --> 00:13:56,946
You're dressed as
one of the characters

353
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,372
from Chair of Blades.

354
00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:00,516
It's one of the most
popular TV shows out there.

355
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:01,408
It's about a group of warriors

356
00:14:01,441 --> 00:14:03,376
who vie for the right

357
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,913
to sit upon a chair of blades.

358
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:07,147
That sounds uncomfortable.

359
00:14:07,180 --> 00:14:08,281
Sounds stupid.

360
00:14:08,315 --> 00:14:09,416
NIGHTINGALE: Okay, guys.

361
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:11,451
Let us jam.

362
00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:18,491
♪ Being a maiden

363
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:20,460
♪ Is pretty rough

364
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:24,397
♪ Ten hours you work the field

365
00:14:24,431 --> 00:14:28,168
♪ And somehow,
it's still not enough ♪

366
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,603
♪ I want no other

367
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:33,306
♪ To churn my butter

368
00:14:33,340 --> 00:14:35,575
♪ And I'm just here

369
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:38,178
♪ So I can say

370
00:14:39,679 --> 00:14:41,314
♪ Please let this knight

371
00:14:41,348 --> 00:14:42,482
♪ Break up your day

372
00:14:42,515 --> 00:14:45,552
You got to be kidding me.
♪ Please let this knight

373
00:14:45,585 --> 00:14:48,455
♪ Break up your day.

374
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,257
Sword in the Stone.

375
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:52,292
I want to be king.

376
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:57,464
(grunting)

377
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,466
(crowd moaning)

378
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:02,669
Thank you. All right.

379
00:15:02,702 --> 00:15:05,405
(clears throat)

380
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,575
Sword of Arthur,
from this stone,

381
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:11,311
I thee yank!

382
00:15:11,344 --> 00:15:13,246
You're never gonna do it.

383
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,514
Let the kid play.

384
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,349
Yeah. Come on, let him play.

385
00:15:16,383 --> 00:15:17,717
Come on, Sly.

386
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,419
(trumpet blows)

387
00:15:19,452 --> 00:15:21,254
Royalty passing through.

388
00:15:21,288 --> 00:15:22,555
Oh. Zounds.

389
00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:23,623
It is King Phillip.

390
00:15:23,656 --> 00:15:25,292
KING PHILLIP: Yes.

391
00:15:26,093 --> 00:15:27,560
Oh, stop it.

392
00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,062
Keep going.

393
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:35,435
Arise, peasant.

394
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,470
And behold.

395
00:15:44,777 --> 00:15:46,546
(shouts)

396
00:15:46,579 --> 00:15:49,449
'Tis nothing for
the one true king!

397
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,484
(cheering, applause)

398
00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:53,320
ALL: Huzzah!

399
00:15:53,353 --> 00:15:55,488
What says thou? Huzzah!

400
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:57,590
Huzzah! Huzzah!

401
00:15:59,359 --> 00:16:00,327
Hmm.

402
00:16:00,360 --> 00:16:04,431
Wouldest thou care for a
try, Robin of the Hood?

403
00:16:04,464 --> 00:16:05,632
Oh, I'm happy to. Mm.

404
00:16:05,665 --> 00:16:07,000
Just give me the remote.

405
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,269
(laughing): What meanest thou?

406
00:16:09,302 --> 00:16:11,271
I meanest the device
in your left hand

407
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,473
that kills the electromagnet
holding the sword.

408
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,475
That's the biggest
sham over here.

409
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,610
So your stores
have credit cards,

410
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:19,046
the band has microphones,

411
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,580
and you have an electromagnet.

412
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,749
There was no electricity
in the Renaissance.

413
00:16:22,782 --> 00:16:24,284
(man grunting)

414
00:16:25,618 --> 00:16:26,762
(electricity sparking)
(people exclaiming)

415
00:16:26,786 --> 00:16:28,655
(horse neighing) What happened?

416
00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:30,557
WALTER: Oh,
the transformer that didn't exist

417
00:16:30,590 --> 00:16:32,559
during the Renaissance
just blew up.

418
00:16:32,592 --> 00:16:34,394
Well,
I guess we should just go home.

419
00:16:34,427 --> 00:16:35,528
It's Sly's birthday.

420
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:36,729
Fix it.

421
00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:41,768
What happened? Overheating?

422
00:16:41,801 --> 00:16:44,104
TOBY: No.
I didn't get a chance to.

423
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:46,177
The electricity went out,
and we had to stop, and...

424
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,674
Oh. Oh, the transformer.

425
00:16:47,707 --> 00:16:49,509
That wasn't an overload.
It was sabotage.

426
00:16:49,542 --> 00:16:51,611
Piece of metal was
jammed into the works.

427
00:16:51,644 --> 00:16:54,147
Blew the substation.
Power must be out for miles.

428
00:16:54,181 --> 00:16:56,316
Who'd sabotage a
Renaissance Festival?

429
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:59,252
Probably someone with a
sense of historical accuracy.

430
00:16:59,286 --> 00:17:00,153
Shut up, listen.

431
00:17:00,187 --> 00:17:01,121
(motorcycle engine revving)

432
00:17:01,154 --> 00:17:03,223
Sly, give me your telescope.

433
00:17:12,365 --> 00:17:13,400
What are you looking at?

434
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:14,634
Biker down there,

435
00:17:14,667 --> 00:17:16,803
wearing the same
stupid clothes as us.

436
00:17:16,836 --> 00:17:18,347
You think he disguised
himself so he could come here

437
00:17:18,371 --> 00:17:19,572
and blow the transformer?

438
00:17:19,606 --> 00:17:22,046
And kill power to the security
at the LAPD evidence warehouse.

439
00:17:26,479 --> 00:17:28,281
Oh, man.

440
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,283
They're gonna rob the place.

441
00:17:30,317 --> 00:17:32,319
♪

442
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:41,494
(birds chirping)

443
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:48,768
Yep. They are definitely
robbing the evidence warehouse.

444
00:17:48,801 --> 00:17:50,170
Bandits?

445
00:17:50,203 --> 00:17:51,504
Are you certain?

446
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:52,739
I'm calling 911.

447
00:17:52,772 --> 00:17:55,842
WALTER: Yeah, one of the bikers
is dressed in Festival garb.

448
00:17:55,875 --> 00:17:59,212
I'm guessing Medieval
Knievel disguised himself

449
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:01,324
so he could stroll right in
here without being noticed.

450
00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:04,184
And destroy the
substation transformer,

451
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:06,319
knocking out the alarms,
doors and electric fence

452
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:07,393
at the evidence warehouse.

453
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:08,355
My cell's dead.

454
00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:09,589
Mine, too.

455
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:10,523
Oh, when that transformer blew,

456
00:18:10,557 --> 00:18:12,259
it must have sent an
electromagnetic pulse

457
00:18:12,292 --> 00:18:13,226
through the festival grounds.

458
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,861
Computer chips are toast.

459
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:17,130
Surge must've fried the
nearest cell phone tower, too.

460
00:18:17,164 --> 00:18:18,907
Well, it might as well really
be in the 16th century.

461
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,368
Is there a landline
at the office?

462
00:18:21,401 --> 00:18:23,536
What meanest thou by "landline"?

463
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:24,737
Oh, dude, seriously?

464
00:18:24,771 --> 00:18:27,340
Verily. There is a "landline."

465
00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:30,543
But, alas,
the phone is without cord.

466
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,479
A cordless phone.
That means we can't dial out

467
00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:34,314
until we restore power.

468
00:18:34,347 --> 00:18:35,748
Can we restore power?

469
00:18:35,782 --> 00:18:38,318
Well, with the crap around
here to work with? Unknown.

470
00:18:38,351 --> 00:18:40,329
When they destroyed the
substation, it must have cut off

471
00:18:40,353 --> 00:18:41,754
electricity to homes,

472
00:18:41,788 --> 00:18:44,391
hospitals, uh, businesses,
traffic lights.

473
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:45,258
It's rush hour soon.

474
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:46,226
It's gonna be
Carmageddon out there.

475
00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:48,261
So you're saying things
are gonna get worse?

476
00:18:48,295 --> 00:18:49,529
(gunshots in distance)

477
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,766
CABE: Things already got worse.

478
00:18:55,868 --> 00:18:57,870
They shot the guard.

479
00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,239
He's not moving.

480
00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,445
Oh, that doesn't look good.

481
00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:07,447
Oh, hang on. That man's alive.

482
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:09,349
All right.
Walter and Toby, you're with me.

483
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:11,518
Paige, see if this place
has ye olde first aid kit.

484
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,353
We're gonna need it when we get back.
On it.

485
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:14,830
Okay. Sly, Happy,
go fix the electricity,

486
00:19:14,854 --> 00:19:16,189
see if we can call for help.

487
00:19:16,223 --> 00:19:17,190
Copy that.

488
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:18,667
How are you gonna get
all the way down there?

489
00:19:18,691 --> 00:19:19,792
CABE: We can't drive,

490
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:21,528
'cause we parked a mile away.

491
00:19:21,561 --> 00:19:22,629
CABE: King.

492
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:24,231
Go back to the festival,

493
00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:25,574
tell everybody to get
the hell out of here.

494
00:19:25,598 --> 00:19:28,568
You're gonna have
to do it on foot,

495
00:19:28,601 --> 00:19:31,371
because I'm gonna
commandeer your horse.

496
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,878
Don't worry, buddy.
We're gonna help you.

497
00:19:41,414 --> 00:19:42,414
(clattering)

498
00:19:49,456 --> 00:19:53,226
Bikers are ripping that place
apart looking for something.

499
00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:55,328
The evidence manifest
is computerized,

500
00:19:55,362 --> 00:19:56,429
so they can't check it.

501
00:19:56,463 --> 00:19:58,665
It's gonna take them a while
to find what they want.

502
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:01,401
Hey, are there any
other cops in there?

503
00:20:01,434 --> 00:20:02,935
(breathlessly): No.

504
00:20:05,805 --> 00:20:07,240
Okay.
You two, get him to the cart.

505
00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:08,384
I'll make sure they
can't follow us.

506
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:10,243
Okay. Go, go, go, go. Go.

507
00:20:14,314 --> 00:20:16,383
(exhales)

508
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:19,452
Okay.

509
00:20:19,486 --> 00:20:20,920
(grunts)

510
00:20:20,953 --> 00:20:22,755
Defibrillator.
(Gasps) First aid kit.

511
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:23,790
What's the verdict?

512
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:24,833
It's a melted mess in there,

513
00:20:24,857 --> 00:20:26,034
but if we can make a new coil,

514
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:27,603
I think I can get this
thing running again.

515
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:28,295
How do we do that?

516
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:29,962
We have to create a ferromagnet.

517
00:20:29,996 --> 00:20:30,763
In English.

518
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,632
We need iron bars
and copper wire.

519
00:20:32,665 --> 00:20:34,009
Oh, the jewelry booth
uses copper wire.

520
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:35,668
And the blacksmith
has plenty of iron.

521
00:20:35,702 --> 00:20:37,904
Sly, give me a hand. Let's go.

522
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:41,908
Okay, uh, you put on some gloves
and I'll get you some tongs.

523
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:46,646
HAPPY: Okay, Thor, hammer away.

524
00:20:48,315 --> 00:20:49,482
(shouts)

525
00:20:51,618 --> 00:20:53,386
(quietly): Why didn't
he slash the tires?

526
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,656
They're Kevlar.
You can't pop them with a set of keys.

527
00:20:56,689 --> 00:20:58,434
Can't be married to Happy
Quinn without learning

528
00:20:58,458 --> 00:20:59,926
a thing or two
about motorcycles.

529
00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,999
(grunts)

530
00:21:08,335 --> 00:21:09,802
(quietly): Let's go.

531
00:21:09,836 --> 00:21:10,903
Hyah! (horse neighs)

532
00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:15,041
(hissing)

533
00:21:16,008 --> 00:21:18,611
Uh, this'll do. Let's go.

534
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,882
Hey. I got the wire.
Okay, we've got

535
00:21:22,915 --> 00:21:25,418
to step the current down
from 110K to 9K volts.

536
00:21:25,452 --> 00:21:26,986
That means wrapping
the short ends

537
00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,096
of this iron
rectangle with copper.

538
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,823
Has to have the right ratio of turns.
Sly, compute.

539
00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:31,991
Right. Faraday's law.

540
00:21:32,024 --> 00:21:33,693
Okay, primary coil
needs eleven hundred...

541
00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:35,495
Okay, just do it.
I've got other work.

542
00:21:35,528 --> 00:21:38,631
(horse neighs)

543
00:21:38,665 --> 00:21:40,667
(horse snorts)

544
00:21:41,901 --> 00:21:43,035
(horse neighs)

545
00:21:43,069 --> 00:21:44,337
Whoa.

546
00:21:44,371 --> 00:21:45,972
All right,
this guy's in bad shape!

547
00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:47,006
We got to hurry!

548
00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,819
Uh, heartbeat's irregular.
I got to get that bullet out.

549
00:21:50,843 --> 00:21:52,845
Uh, I need tweezers,
forceps, something.

550
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:54,046
Will jewelry pliers work?

551
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,416
That's perfect.
Uh, now I need to sterilize.

552
00:21:56,449 --> 00:21:58,918
Is there alcohol?
There's none in the first aid kid.

553
00:21:58,951 --> 00:22:00,720
How 'bout the finest rum?

554
00:22:00,753 --> 00:22:01,454
That'll do!

555
00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:02,755
CABE: Okay, everyone, your help

556
00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:03,856
is appreciated,

557
00:22:03,890 --> 00:22:05,525
but we're dealing
with dangerous men.

558
00:22:05,558 --> 00:22:07,093
And Phil here should've already

559
00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:08,628
told you to go home.

560
00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,062
We can't.

561
00:22:10,096 --> 00:22:12,399
With the traffic lights out
and half of L.A. blacked out,

562
00:22:12,432 --> 00:22:15,101
the-the service roads to the
freeway are backed up forever!

563
00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:16,903
Sorry, pal,

564
00:22:16,936 --> 00:22:19,739
I know this doesn't tickle.
(grunts)

565
00:22:19,772 --> 00:22:23,042
(shouting) (groaning)

566
00:22:23,075 --> 00:22:25,545
Walt, pour some of that
grog on the wound. Yeah.

567
00:22:25,578 --> 00:22:27,046
This is gonna sting-eth.
(groaning)

568
00:22:27,079 --> 00:22:29,949
This is great.
I'm gonna throw up.

569
00:22:29,982 --> 00:22:32,585
(panting)

570
00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,590
You look funny.

571
00:22:37,624 --> 00:22:40,460
Verily. How you feeling?!

572
00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:41,961
Like I got shot.

573
00:22:41,994 --> 00:22:42,929
(pants)

574
00:22:42,962 --> 00:22:44,997
And woke up in a Medieval
Times restaurant.

575
00:22:45,031 --> 00:22:47,600
Well,
you ain't too far from wrong.

576
00:22:47,634 --> 00:22:49,469
Any idea what those
guys were after?

577
00:22:49,502 --> 00:22:51,671
This. (grunts)

578
00:22:51,704 --> 00:22:54,807
Leader of the biker gang
killed a cop up in Sacramento.

579
00:22:54,841 --> 00:22:56,509
This had the cop's blood on it.

580
00:22:56,543 --> 00:22:57,477
And his.

581
00:22:57,510 --> 00:22:58,811
Heard about that shooting.

582
00:22:58,845 --> 00:23:00,480
Lawyer got a change of venue,

583
00:23:00,513 --> 00:23:01,981
so the trial's
gonna happen here.

584
00:23:02,014 --> 00:23:03,750
Someone must've tipped the gang

585
00:23:03,783 --> 00:23:05,418
to where the evidence was.

586
00:23:05,452 --> 00:23:07,520
Knew what they were
after, so I grabbed it.

587
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:09,989
If they destroy that
evidence, a cop killer walks.

588
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:12,124
Listen, promise,
no matter what happens to me,

589
00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:13,826
you won't let them have this.

590
00:23:13,860 --> 00:23:15,061
Hey, we promise.

591
00:23:15,094 --> 00:23:17,530
(groaning)

592
00:23:17,564 --> 00:23:19,499
(grunts, pants) Okay, hey,

593
00:23:19,532 --> 00:23:20,700
tell me what you're feeling!

594
00:23:20,733 --> 00:23:23,670
(strained): Pressure
inside my chest.

595
00:23:23,703 --> 00:23:25,137
Oh, Toby, he's turning gray.

596
00:23:25,171 --> 00:23:27,006
Bullet must've nicked
the pericardial sac

597
00:23:27,039 --> 00:23:28,150
around his heart.
The bullet was probably blocking the hole.

598
00:23:28,174 --> 00:23:30,543
And when I took it out,
it started filling with blood

599
00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:32,078
and putting pressure
on his heart.

600
00:23:32,111 --> 00:23:35,715
So, uh, I need a red-hot poker

601
00:23:35,748 --> 00:23:37,149
to cauterize the wound,

602
00:23:37,183 --> 00:23:38,193
stop the bleeding
or he's gonna die.

603
00:23:38,217 --> 00:23:39,919
Blacksmith's. On it.

604
00:23:39,952 --> 00:23:40,853
CABE: When those bikers

605
00:23:40,887 --> 00:23:42,689
realize the evidence
they're looking for

606
00:23:42,722 --> 00:23:45,091
isn't in that warehouse
and who took it...

607
00:23:45,124 --> 00:23:46,859
(gulps)

608
00:23:46,893 --> 00:23:49,529
I'm gonna go stand guard.

609
00:23:49,562 --> 00:23:51,864
King, you're with me.

610
00:23:51,898 --> 00:23:54,601
Let's go, Phil-boy,
move your knickers.

611
00:23:54,634 --> 00:23:56,469
Hey, man. My name's Chad.

612
00:23:56,503 --> 00:23:58,938
I sell Jacuzzis in the Valley.

613
00:23:58,971 --> 00:24:00,707
I don't fight bikers.

614
00:24:02,108 --> 00:24:04,076
I'm out of here.

615
00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:06,012
Son of a blunderbuss.

616
00:24:06,045 --> 00:24:09,048
He's abandoned us. It's fine.
I'll do it myself.

617
00:24:09,081 --> 00:24:10,049
Poker. Okay.

618
00:24:10,082 --> 00:24:13,019
Here comes Renaissance
trauma care at its finest.

619
00:24:13,052 --> 00:24:14,721
Walt, Paige, I hate to ask.

620
00:24:17,189 --> 00:24:18,157
Hey, man,

621
00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:19,559
I'll see you when you wake up,

622
00:24:19,592 --> 00:24:20,827
okay?

623
00:24:20,860 --> 00:24:23,663
I'm really sorry about this.

624
00:24:23,696 --> 00:24:26,533
(screaming)

625
00:24:30,870 --> 00:24:33,973
All right.
He's passed out cold, but...

626
00:24:34,006 --> 00:24:37,209
the bleeding stopped!
He should be fine.

627
00:24:37,243 --> 00:24:38,745
Unless he isn't.

628
00:24:38,778 --> 00:24:40,547
He's going into cardiac arrest.

629
00:24:40,580 --> 00:24:41,790
You were supposed
to fix his heart!

630
00:24:41,814 --> 00:24:43,258
All right,
if we want to keep him alive,

631
00:24:43,282 --> 00:24:45,184
we got to find a way
to shock his pumper!

632
00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:47,887
Uh, there's a defibrillator back by
the, um, transformer.

633
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,566
No, the battery'll be fried from the
transformer's electromagnetic shock.

634
00:24:50,590 --> 00:24:52,725
Well, if the capacitor blew,
the computer components

635
00:24:52,759 --> 00:24:54,927
were preserved.
I can build a new capacitor.

636
00:24:54,961 --> 00:24:56,238
Still won't work
without batteries.

637
00:24:56,262 --> 00:24:58,097
Great.
We're stuck in the 17th century,

638
00:24:58,130 --> 00:25:01,267
and the only thing we need to
save this man is electricity!

639
00:25:01,300 --> 00:25:02,300
Exactly.

640
00:25:05,137 --> 00:25:07,807
This is why I hate the
Renaissance Festival.

641
00:25:15,648 --> 00:25:17,626
Okay, I triaged this thing's
melted guts best I can.

642
00:25:17,650 --> 00:25:19,194
Where's my ferromagnet?
Here it is. Done.

643
00:25:19,218 --> 00:25:21,120
Happy, we need power.

644
00:25:21,153 --> 00:25:22,555
Working on it.

645
00:25:22,589 --> 00:25:24,957
Okay. Okay.

646
00:25:24,991 --> 00:25:27,059
Aluminum foil and a
glass bottle with a cork.

647
00:25:27,093 --> 00:25:28,571
And salt from the
Thanks for Mutton stand.

648
00:25:28,595 --> 00:25:30,563
Okay, bottle, salt, water,
cork, aluminum foil.

649
00:25:30,597 --> 00:25:32,331
Time to make a capacitor.
TOBY: Hurry up.

650
00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,901
He's not doing well.
My arms feel like jelly.

651
00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:43,743
All right, done.

652
00:25:43,776 --> 00:25:46,212
Either it works or it explodes.

653
00:25:53,385 --> 00:25:54,587
The electricity is back on.

654
00:25:54,621 --> 00:25:57,790
Yeah, that means I'm not making
this capacitor for nothing.

655
00:25:57,824 --> 00:26:00,693
Paige, can you, uh,
do me a favor and yank out

656
00:26:00,727 --> 00:26:02,270
the old capacitor from
the defibrillator?

657
00:26:02,294 --> 00:26:03,262
This thing here? Yes.

658
00:26:03,295 --> 00:26:04,463
SYLVESTER: Power is holding.

659
00:26:04,496 --> 00:26:06,675
Now, why don't you go down to
the office and call for help?

660
00:26:06,699 --> 00:26:07,967
My pleasure.

661
00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,235
Okay, thanks.

662
00:26:09,268 --> 00:26:10,803
A Leyden jar capacitor. Nice.

663
00:26:10,837 --> 00:26:13,706
Yeah, it should store and
release enough electricity

664
00:26:13,740 --> 00:26:15,250
to get the defibrillator
back and running again.

665
00:26:15,274 --> 00:26:18,811
Okay, now all I need is a nail.
Oh. That hatpin.

666
00:26:20,412 --> 00:26:22,014
I'll get some juice.

667
00:26:22,048 --> 00:26:23,816
TOBY: All right,
he's running out of steam!

668
00:26:26,953 --> 00:26:28,721
Wire it in.

669
00:26:32,792 --> 00:26:33,826
It's working.

670
00:26:33,860 --> 00:26:35,094
Happy, switch with me.

671
00:26:41,100 --> 00:26:43,302
And... clear!

672
00:26:47,273 --> 00:26:48,708
(defibrillator beeping)

673
00:26:48,741 --> 00:26:50,643
Okay. He's okay.

674
00:26:50,677 --> 00:26:52,244
(exhales)

675
00:26:52,278 --> 00:26:53,345
(defibrillator flatlines)

676
00:26:53,379 --> 00:26:55,682
(defibrillator beeping steadily)
Wait, what the hell?

677
00:26:55,715 --> 00:26:57,750
No, no, no.
It's-it's okay. Look.

678
00:26:57,784 --> 00:27:00,753
(defibrillator flatlines, beeps)
Uh, what's that all about, Doc?

679
00:27:00,787 --> 00:27:02,789
His heart is being choked
by the pericardic blood.

680
00:27:02,822 --> 00:27:05,191
The defib acts like a pacemaker.

681
00:27:05,224 --> 00:27:07,660
Sensing when his ticker
stops, then it hits reset

682
00:27:07,694 --> 00:27:09,762
by automatically shocking
it back into the rhythm.

683
00:27:09,796 --> 00:27:11,130
He needs to stay hooked up,

684
00:27:11,163 --> 00:27:12,675
but he'll-he'll be okay
until an ambulance gets here.

685
00:27:12,699 --> 00:27:13,909
SYLVESTER (panting): Okay, well,

686
00:27:13,933 --> 00:27:15,835
that's not gonna be for
a while because traffic

687
00:27:15,868 --> 00:27:18,037
is still backed up from
the blown transformer

688
00:27:18,070 --> 00:27:19,906
and emergency personnel
are spread thin.

689
00:27:19,939 --> 00:27:22,241
Cops and ambulance won't be
here for another 30 minutes.

690
00:27:22,274 --> 00:27:23,351
CABE: We don't have 30 minutes.

691
00:27:23,375 --> 00:27:27,146
The guys who shot the guard
are on their way here.

692
00:27:27,179 --> 00:27:28,915
What?! Why?!

693
00:27:28,948 --> 00:27:30,983
They can't find the evidence
they're looking for.

694
00:27:31,017 --> 00:27:32,451
The guard they shot is missing

695
00:27:32,484 --> 00:27:34,420
and there's cart tracks
leading back to here.

696
00:27:34,453 --> 00:27:37,256
It's okay. I locked up their bikes.
(gunshots)

697
00:27:37,289 --> 00:27:40,092
That's the sound of people
shooting locks off of chains.

698
00:27:40,126 --> 00:27:42,161
They'll have those bikes
hotwired in minutes.

699
00:27:42,194 --> 00:27:44,096
All right.
Let's grab the guard and scram.

700
00:27:44,130 --> 00:27:44,931
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
And go where?

701
00:27:44,964 --> 00:27:46,799
The-the parking
lot is a mile away

702
00:27:46,833 --> 00:27:48,076
and the service road is
backed up to the 101.

703
00:27:48,100 --> 00:27:51,804
Okay, so we camouflage ourselves
in a mass of hundreds of cars.

704
00:27:51,838 --> 00:27:52,939
That's a no-go.

705
00:27:52,972 --> 00:27:55,708
This man has to stay hooked
up to this defib or he dies.

706
00:27:55,742 --> 00:27:57,209
CABE: Can't we hook
that machine up

707
00:27:57,243 --> 00:27:58,444
to a car battery or something?

708
00:27:58,477 --> 00:28:01,047
That's DC power.
The defib needs AC.

709
00:28:01,080 --> 00:28:03,883
Well, what happens if we just,
uh, give them the evidence?

710
00:28:04,917 --> 00:28:06,385
Besides letting a
murderer go free?

711
00:28:06,418 --> 00:28:08,921
There's no guarantee that
they won't kill us anyway.

712
00:28:08,955 --> 00:28:11,390
Be the smart play.
Leave no witnesses.

713
00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:13,325
I have an idea how we
can protect the evidence

714
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,137
and stop the bikers,
but we're gonna need help,

715
00:28:15,161 --> 00:28:16,228
all of your help.

716
00:28:19,431 --> 00:28:22,869
Yeah, uh, I-I have sciatica.
So...

717
00:28:24,503 --> 00:28:27,006
Giving you my hatpin is one
thing, but...

718
00:28:27,039 --> 00:28:28,350
you're talking about
guys with guns.

719
00:28:28,374 --> 00:28:30,409
Seriously?
None of you will help?

720
00:28:30,442 --> 00:28:33,279
Uh...

721
00:28:33,312 --> 00:28:35,414
Sylvester.

722
00:28:40,552 --> 00:28:42,755
You got to convince
them to work with us.

723
00:28:42,789 --> 00:28:44,757
You do it.
You're the military man.

724
00:28:44,791 --> 00:28:46,859
Exactly why they
won't listen to me.

725
00:28:46,893 --> 00:28:47,994
You speak nerd.

726
00:28:48,027 --> 00:28:49,896
You saw what happens
when I try to speak

727
00:28:49,929 --> 00:28:51,864
with something this
big on the line.

728
00:28:51,898 --> 00:28:53,933
You saw me fail in court today.

729
00:28:55,968 --> 00:28:58,370
When Timan the Tailor

730
00:28:58,404 --> 00:29:01,440
failed to convince the
vassals to donate crops

731
00:29:01,473 --> 00:29:03,409
to the villagers,
did he give up?

732
00:29:03,442 --> 00:29:05,878
Hell no. He rallied the peasants

733
00:29:05,912 --> 00:29:07,046
of Winterbourne.

734
00:29:07,079 --> 00:29:10,016
I knew you loved
Chair of Blades.

735
00:29:10,049 --> 00:29:11,827
Of course I do.
Who wouldn't love Chair of Blades?

736
00:29:11,851 --> 00:29:13,095
It's about warriors
battling for the right

737
00:29:13,119 --> 00:29:14,553
to sit on a chair of blades.

738
00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:15,855
What's more badass than that?

739
00:29:15,888 --> 00:29:17,957
Now, listen to me,

740
00:29:17,990 --> 00:29:22,228
you're as much a leader
as Timan the Tailor.

741
00:29:22,261 --> 00:29:25,131
It's in you.

742
00:29:25,164 --> 00:29:27,033
Just find it.

743
00:29:33,906 --> 00:29:38,878
Friends, Roman, countrymen,

744
00:29:38,911 --> 00:29:41,347
lend me your ear.

745
00:29:41,380 --> 00:29:45,417
Bullies call us nerds, geeks,

746
00:29:45,451 --> 00:29:47,353
losers. (crowd muttering assent)

747
00:29:47,386 --> 00:29:50,256
The world shuns our kind.

748
00:29:50,289 --> 00:29:55,094
We have just one safe place:
the Renaissance Festival.

749
00:29:55,127 --> 00:29:56,395
And the Warlock's Chest.

750
00:29:56,428 --> 00:29:59,531
Yes, and the Warlock's Chest.

751
00:29:59,565 --> 00:30:01,400
And sci-fi conventions.

752
00:30:01,433 --> 00:30:02,969
Okay,
so we have three safe places,

753
00:30:03,002 --> 00:30:04,612
but only one of them is
being threatened today.

754
00:30:04,636 --> 00:30:09,375
And we need all of your
help to protect it.

755
00:30:09,408 --> 00:30:14,981
We play games in which
we pretend to be heroes.

756
00:30:15,014 --> 00:30:17,383
But this is your chance

757
00:30:17,416 --> 00:30:20,853
to actually be heroes.

758
00:30:20,887 --> 00:30:23,455
For how can we ever hope

759
00:30:23,489 --> 00:30:26,592
to live long and prosper

760
00:30:26,625 --> 00:30:30,329
if we be cowards now?

761
00:30:30,362 --> 00:30:32,131
So...

762
00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:37,136
so, who will stand with me
against the invading horde

763
00:30:37,169 --> 00:30:40,606
and say,
"You can take our lunch money,

764
00:30:40,639 --> 00:30:45,244
but you will never take
our Renaissance Festival!"

765
00:30:45,277 --> 00:30:47,479
CROWD: Huzzah! Huzzah!

766
00:30:47,513 --> 00:30:50,316
Huzzah! Huzzah!

767
00:30:50,349 --> 00:30:53,185
(engines revving) You hear that?

768
00:30:53,219 --> 00:30:55,154
Motorcycle engines.
They're on their way.

769
00:30:55,187 --> 00:30:57,223
Huzzah! Huzzah!

770
00:30:57,256 --> 00:30:59,091
We're all gonna die here, right?

771
00:30:59,125 --> 00:31:00,893
Yeah, we're totally dead.

772
00:31:00,927 --> 00:31:02,528
Huzzah!

773
00:31:02,561 --> 00:31:04,230
Those bikers can't know that

774
00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:06,008
we're trying to lure them
in or this won't work.

775
00:31:06,032 --> 00:31:07,112
Show me your surprise face.

776
00:31:09,368 --> 00:31:11,370
You surprised or
having a stroke?

777
00:31:11,403 --> 00:31:13,505
All right, here they come.
Places!

778
00:31:13,539 --> 00:31:15,074
Great.

779
00:31:15,107 --> 00:31:16,108
Oh, my God.

780
00:31:21,280 --> 00:31:23,015
Oh, boy.

781
00:31:43,069 --> 00:31:44,103
(all yelling)

782
00:31:51,310 --> 00:31:52,511
Now.

783
00:31:59,585 --> 00:32:01,587
(grunts)

784
00:32:01,620 --> 00:32:03,555
My ankle.

785
00:32:03,589 --> 00:32:05,557
(panting)

786
00:32:05,591 --> 00:32:06,751
Now, that's a surprised face.

787
00:32:10,462 --> 00:32:12,264
(horse neighs)

788
00:32:13,632 --> 00:32:15,367
Huh? (Grunts)

789
00:32:18,504 --> 00:32:21,340
(grunts)

790
00:32:21,373 --> 00:32:23,142
(coughs)

791
00:32:32,451 --> 00:32:34,720
Looks like you're going to the
stocks, jackass.

792
00:32:40,192 --> 00:32:41,192
Oh, crap.

793
00:32:45,231 --> 00:32:47,471
Come on, man, you're nothing
but a sitting duck out here.

794
00:32:48,067 --> 00:32:49,968
Come on. (metal clanging)

795
00:32:58,510 --> 00:32:59,978
ALL: Huzzah!

796
00:33:09,255 --> 00:33:10,256
Cabe!

797
00:33:13,259 --> 00:33:13,959
(gun clicks) (gasps)

798
00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:16,362
Drop it. (defibrillator beeping)

799
00:33:17,596 --> 00:33:19,431
Well, you're the boss.

800
00:33:21,533 --> 00:33:23,469
No! No!

801
00:33:23,502 --> 00:33:25,337
If somebody doesn't give
me that evidence bag,

802
00:33:25,371 --> 00:33:26,472
I'm gonna kill him.

803
00:33:26,505 --> 00:33:28,074
Don't do anything drastic.

804
00:33:28,107 --> 00:33:29,375
Give me the shirt.

805
00:33:29,408 --> 00:33:30,609
No. I hid it

806
00:33:30,642 --> 00:33:31,719
when you were fighting.
I won't tell you

807
00:33:31,743 --> 00:33:33,345
where it is until
you let him go.

808
00:33:33,379 --> 00:33:34,413
It's not happening.

809
00:33:34,446 --> 00:33:35,414
I will kill him,

810
00:33:35,447 --> 00:33:36,682
and I will kill all of you.

811
00:33:36,715 --> 00:33:38,650
Oh, he's telling the truth.

812
00:33:38,684 --> 00:33:40,119
Good.

813
00:33:40,152 --> 00:33:41,596
'Cause in order to
save this cop's life,

814
00:33:41,620 --> 00:33:43,689
first he has to die.

815
00:33:55,167 --> 00:33:57,103
I'm pulling the
trigger on three.

816
00:33:58,237 --> 00:34:00,439
(defibrillator
flatlines, shocks)

817
00:34:00,472 --> 00:34:01,207
Happy, how much do you trust me?

818
00:34:01,240 --> 00:34:03,609
More than I probably should.
One.

819
00:34:03,642 --> 00:34:05,220
I need you to undo
everything that you did.

820
00:34:05,244 --> 00:34:06,645
Destroy it all.

821
00:34:06,678 --> 00:34:07,779
Oh, man.

822
00:34:07,813 --> 00:34:09,515
I think I know what
you're planning.

823
00:34:09,548 --> 00:34:10,382
Two.

824
00:34:10,416 --> 00:34:11,117
What's he planning?

825
00:34:11,150 --> 00:34:12,318
Something nuts.

826
00:34:12,351 --> 00:34:13,351
Now!

827
00:34:22,561 --> 00:34:24,330
(beeps) (grunts) What the...?

828
00:34:29,568 --> 00:34:33,339
See? I told you that sword
was held in with electricity.

829
00:34:33,372 --> 00:34:34,782
TOBY: Well, speaking of
which, with no electricity,

830
00:34:34,806 --> 00:34:35,874
we just killed this man.

831
00:34:35,907 --> 00:34:37,276
What's the plan, Walt?

832
00:34:37,309 --> 00:34:38,653
Uh, Paige,
grab that spinning wheel.

833
00:34:38,677 --> 00:34:41,380
I'll set up the defibrillator!

834
00:34:41,413 --> 00:34:42,047
SYLVESTER: You're gonna
wrap wool around the hat pin

835
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:44,216
on the capacitor you built.

836
00:34:44,250 --> 00:34:45,593
And the spinning wheel will
move fast enough to create

837
00:34:45,617 --> 00:34:47,119
a static charge capable

838
00:34:47,153 --> 00:34:48,654
of firing the
defibrillator back up.

839
00:34:48,687 --> 00:34:50,389
Which will fire
his heart back up.

840
00:34:50,422 --> 00:34:51,857
(panting) Okay.

841
00:34:51,890 --> 00:34:53,725
TOBY: Walt, hurry up! Yep.

842
00:34:53,759 --> 00:34:55,427
Okay, Paige, start peddling.

843
00:34:55,461 --> 00:34:56,595
Okay.

844
00:34:56,628 --> 00:34:57,796
How much power does it make?

845
00:34:57,829 --> 00:34:59,598
Uh, not a lot. Ed Begley Jr.
could barely

846
00:34:59,631 --> 00:35:00,599
make his toast this way.

847
00:35:00,632 --> 00:35:02,434
Well, let's just hope
it's enough to give him

848
00:35:02,468 --> 00:35:04,336
a decent enough jolt
every 90 seconds or so,

849
00:35:04,370 --> 00:35:05,580
or this guy's not gonna make it.

850
00:35:05,604 --> 00:35:07,873
(beeps) Ready for shock.

851
00:35:07,906 --> 00:35:09,641
All right, hit him!

852
00:35:09,675 --> 00:35:10,676
(steady beep, shocks)

853
00:35:12,178 --> 00:35:14,346
(beeping)

854
00:35:14,380 --> 00:35:16,715
It worked. Uh,
he's-he's gonna need another one soon,

855
00:35:16,748 --> 00:35:17,883
so keep pumping, Paige.

856
00:35:17,916 --> 00:35:19,418
How long do I have
to keep this going?

857
00:35:19,451 --> 00:35:20,586
Till an ambulance gets here.

858
00:35:20,619 --> 00:35:22,654
We can all take turns.

859
00:35:22,688 --> 00:35:25,257
Feel like your speech really
had an effect on them, kid.

860
00:35:25,291 --> 00:35:26,658
Yeah, I-I...

861
00:35:26,692 --> 00:35:29,195
I can't pedal on
account of my sciatica.

862
00:35:29,228 --> 00:35:31,597
All except that one.
He's a real weenie.

863
00:35:32,631 --> 00:35:34,433
(grunts)

864
00:35:35,534 --> 00:35:36,835
(grunts)

865
00:35:36,868 --> 00:35:38,437
King Phillip?

866
00:35:40,239 --> 00:35:41,673
(grunts)

867
00:35:41,707 --> 00:35:43,342
Were you hiding
in the manure bin?

868
00:35:43,375 --> 00:35:45,377
Good day.

869
00:35:47,213 --> 00:35:48,780
Speaking of weenies.

870
00:35:56,655 --> 00:35:59,625
Just got off the phone
with a cop buddy of mine.

871
00:35:59,658 --> 00:36:02,761
Guard's gonna be okay,
the bikers won't be.

872
00:36:03,795 --> 00:36:05,464
Garage looks...

873
00:36:05,497 --> 00:36:06,937
Looks like The Hobbit
threw up in it.

874
00:36:06,965 --> 00:36:08,734
I was gonna say "perfect."

875
00:36:08,767 --> 00:36:10,678
Next best thing to a birthday
at the Renaissance Festival.

876
00:36:10,702 --> 00:36:12,638
Okay, Sly.

877
00:36:12,671 --> 00:36:14,240
Your little friends are here.

878
00:36:14,273 --> 00:36:16,442
Guys. Y-You came.

879
00:36:16,475 --> 00:36:18,477
I thought you were
staying at the festival.

880
00:36:18,510 --> 00:36:20,446
We would never miss your
birthday bacchanalia,

881
00:36:20,479 --> 00:36:21,680
old friend. (chuckles)

882
00:36:21,713 --> 00:36:24,483
And besides, the festival's
closed until they fix the power.

883
00:36:24,516 --> 00:36:26,918
Uh, it matters not why.

884
00:36:26,952 --> 00:36:28,587
Just that we are here.

885
00:36:29,788 --> 00:36:31,590
Now slice the cake
with Raven's Beak,

886
00:36:31,623 --> 00:36:33,325
let the Dr. Shazz flow free,

887
00:36:33,359 --> 00:36:36,295
for tonight, we dine in Hell!

888
00:36:36,328 --> 00:36:38,664
ALL: Huzzah!

889
00:36:38,697 --> 00:36:41,667
You know, we never finished what
we started in that hay loft.

890
00:36:41,700 --> 00:36:43,802
A Scorpion outing went sideways.

891
00:36:43,835 --> 00:36:45,804
It happens. A lot.

892
00:36:45,837 --> 00:36:48,874
Okay, well, I can't help notice
there's no pending disaster now.

893
00:36:48,907 --> 00:36:50,809
Well, it depends on how
you define "disaster."

894
00:36:50,842 --> 00:36:52,711
Sly's nerd friends are
preparing to do battle.

895
00:36:52,744 --> 00:36:55,747
Careful. Don't get my eyes. Ow.

896
00:36:55,781 --> 00:36:58,650
See, that's all the more reason
why we need to get back to work

897
00:36:58,684 --> 00:37:02,454
on Operation Baby Quintis
as soon as possible.

898
00:37:02,488 --> 00:37:05,724
Well, it would be a shame to
waste these stupid costumes.

899
00:37:05,757 --> 00:37:09,561
How about after the party,
we have a party of our own?

900
00:37:09,595 --> 00:37:12,731
Don't have to ask me twice.

901
00:37:12,764 --> 00:37:14,733
Speaking of stupid...

902
00:37:14,766 --> 00:37:16,268
I know it's dumb,

903
00:37:16,302 --> 00:37:20,672
but before we left the
festival, I bought this.

904
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:24,743
Um, it's supposed
to bring the wearer

905
00:37:24,776 --> 00:37:26,678
good baby-making luck.

906
00:37:26,712 --> 00:37:27,846
I don't believe it, but...

907
00:37:27,879 --> 00:37:30,282
You figured,
"What could it hurt"?

908
00:37:30,316 --> 00:37:31,316
Yeah.

909
00:37:35,086 --> 00:37:37,823
Me, too.

910
00:37:39,891 --> 00:37:41,893
(both shouting)

911
00:37:48,700 --> 00:37:50,035
(strumming guitar)

912
00:37:50,068 --> 00:37:55,674
♪ When I'm with you

913
00:37:55,707 --> 00:37:59,511
♪ It soothes my mind

914
00:37:59,545 --> 00:38:02,881
♪ And I feel fine

915
00:38:02,914 --> 00:38:06,752
♪ I feel fine

916
00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:10,021
♪ When you're with me

917
00:38:10,055 --> 00:38:13,625
♪ My mind can rest

918
00:38:13,659 --> 00:38:16,628
♪ My thoughts can nest

919
00:38:16,662 --> 00:38:20,832
♪ Thoughts can nest

920
00:38:20,866 --> 00:38:22,901
♪ You're the calm

921
00:38:22,934 --> 00:38:26,538
♪ I hold in my arms

922
00:38:26,572 --> 00:38:30,409
♪ The peace that I need

923
00:38:30,442 --> 00:38:33,579
♪ You so disarm.

924
00:38:33,612 --> 00:38:35,681
(strums guitar)

925
00:38:37,883 --> 00:38:39,651
This is stupid.

926
00:38:39,685 --> 00:38:40,919
PAIGE: Walter?

927
00:38:40,952 --> 00:38:41,952
Um...

928
00:38:42,954 --> 00:38:43,922
Um...

929
00:38:43,955 --> 00:38:46,124
Hey. I just got back
from picking up Ralph.

930
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,927
He's downstairs,
putting his costume on for Sly's party.

931
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:51,430
I was gonna change back into
mine, if you want to join us.

932
00:38:51,463 --> 00:38:53,599
Yeah, sure.
I'll be down in a minute. Great.

933
00:38:55,567 --> 00:38:57,903
You know, my...

934
00:38:57,936 --> 00:39:01,940
my job with Scorpion is
to help you act more human

935
00:39:01,973 --> 00:39:04,943
so you can function
better in the world,

936
00:39:04,976 --> 00:39:07,946
but I don't want you to pretend

937
00:39:07,979 --> 00:39:12,150
to be someone you're
not to be my boyfriend.

938
00:39:12,183 --> 00:39:15,621
You know, like, earlier today,

939
00:39:15,654 --> 00:39:17,389
I saw a guy with a stupid crown,

940
00:39:17,423 --> 00:39:19,725
and he was pretending
to be someone he's not.

941
00:39:19,758 --> 00:39:22,928
And then, when push came to
shove, he ran away,

942
00:39:22,961 --> 00:39:26,465
and he showed his
ugly true self.

943
00:39:26,498 --> 00:39:27,833
He hid in feces.

944
00:39:27,866 --> 00:39:29,601
Yes, he... he did.

945
00:39:29,635 --> 00:39:31,603
My-my point is,

946
00:39:31,637 --> 00:39:35,774
is that you are always your true
self, Walter,

947
00:39:35,807 --> 00:39:38,844
and that person
is brave and good,

948
00:39:38,877 --> 00:39:40,846
and I love that about you.

949
00:39:40,879 --> 00:39:43,114
So I just wanted you to know,

950
00:39:43,148 --> 00:39:48,053
I love a lot about you,
whether you like silly festivals or not.

951
00:39:53,825 --> 00:39:55,827
(chuckles softly)

952
00:40:00,832 --> 00:40:03,168
(clears throat)

953
00:40:03,201 --> 00:40:06,805
One thing that's for
sure, I am not a musician.

954
00:40:11,142 --> 00:40:13,512
♪ Being a maiden...

955
00:40:13,545 --> 00:40:15,013
Grab me a beer, would you?

956
00:40:15,046 --> 00:40:16,147
You're in a good mood.

957
00:40:16,181 --> 00:40:18,584
Why wouldn't I be?
I saw what my counsel can really do

958
00:40:18,617 --> 00:40:19,751
when the heat is on.

959
00:40:19,785 --> 00:40:21,920
Well, the trust you placed in me

960
00:40:21,953 --> 00:40:23,154
was what inspired me.

961
00:40:23,188 --> 00:40:24,189
I promise you,

962
00:40:24,222 --> 00:40:25,624
come heck or high water,

963
00:40:25,657 --> 00:40:26,992
I will win your case.

964
00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:28,026
I know that.

965
00:40:28,059 --> 00:40:30,596
And don't worry.

966
00:40:30,629 --> 00:40:34,566
I will never tell anyone that
you love Chair of Blades.

967
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:35,801
(chuckles)

968
00:40:35,834 --> 00:40:38,103
Whoa. Cabe's a nerd.

969
00:40:38,136 --> 00:40:40,472
I'm not a nerd.

970
00:40:40,506 --> 00:40:41,907
I'm a Bladie.

971
00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:43,642
And there's a difference.

972
00:40:43,675 --> 00:40:47,813
And Magnus wants to party.

973
00:40:47,846 --> 00:40:49,848
(laughing): All right. (Laughs)

974
00:40:52,551 --> 00:40:54,019
♪ Come on

975
00:40:54,052 --> 00:40:56,221
♪ Churn my butter

976
00:40:56,254 --> 00:40:58,957
♪ Please let this
knight break up ♪

977
00:40:58,990 --> 00:41:01,126
♪ Your day

978
00:41:02,961 --> 00:41:07,599
♪ Whoa, whoa, oh,
whoa, whoa, oh. ♪

979
00:41:07,633 --> 00:41:09,793
Captioned by Media Access
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