1
00:00:02,046 --> 00:00:04,508
Being a great doctor isn't just
about medical knowledge,

2
00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:06,450
it's also about people skills.

3
00:00:06,485 --> 00:00:09,715
Wow, that is the worst
broken nose I have ever seen.

4
00:00:09,750 --> 00:00:11,621
I'm here because I stepped on a nail.

5
00:00:11,756 --> 00:00:12,516
Of course.

6
00:00:12,851 --> 00:00:14,729
Were you walking on your nose?

7
00:00:15,064 --> 00:00:17,678
Unfortunately you're gonna have
to wait a little bit longer, okay?

8
00:00:17,713 --> 00:00:20,164
'Cause we admit people
by severity of condition.

9
00:00:25,048 --> 00:00:27,094
That was mortifying.

10
00:00:28,156 --> 00:00:29,710
AAAAGGGGHHH! MY FACE!

11
00:00:29,745 --> 00:00:33,866
You know, with the face burns we could
probably admit you now. Laverne?

12
00:00:40,446 --> 00:00:41,630
My "me time" hand!

13
00:00:41,765 --> 00:00:42,654
Oh, and too, you know,

14
00:00:42,655 --> 00:00:45,846
friday night there's a chamber orchestra
playing in the courtyard of the museum.

15
00:00:45,881 --> 00:00:46,402
Oh, I'd love that!

16
00:00:46,437 --> 00:00:46,968
You wanna go?

17
00:00:47,003 --> 00:00:48,002
Oh my God, I love Pachelbel!

18
00:00:48,037 --> 00:00:48,449
We can go right after....

19
00:00:48,484 --> 00:00:50,617
Carla and Elliot were going through
their weekly ritual of

20
00:00:50,652 --> 00:00:52,576
making plans they were
never going to keep.

21
00:00:52,731 --> 00:00:53,943
We should have dinner beforehand.

22
00:00:54,178 --> 00:00:54,634
Perfect!

23
00:00:54,669 --> 00:00:56,818
And since Turk knew
these were fake plans,

24
00:00:56,819 --> 00:00:59,887
he used the opportunity to score
bonus points with his wife.

25
00:00:59,922 --> 00:01:01,136
Classic husbanding.

26
00:01:01,171 --> 00:01:05,220
Hey, baby! You know what? Forget dinner.
I'll make you a homemade picnic basket.

27
00:01:05,255 --> 00:01:05,742
Oh!

28
00:01:05,994 --> 00:01:07,688
I married an amazing man.

29
00:01:07,723 --> 00:01:09,236
You sure did!
You know what?

30
00:01:09,271 --> 00:01:13,208
I've got an even better idea. Maybe
J.D. and I can both come -- right?

31
00:01:13,243 --> 00:01:17,627
We'll wear sport coats, and you
guys, beautiful dresses!

32
00:01:17,642 --> 00:01:19,295
Oh my God, I love that idea!

33
00:01:19,330 --> 00:01:20,452
I love it.
I love it.

34
00:01:20,487 --> 00:01:21,615
It's awesome.
It's awesome!

35
00:01:23,111 --> 00:01:24,966
To be perfectly honest, so did I.

36
00:01:25,001 --> 00:01:27,899
I never get an opportunity to wear
my houndstooth sports coat.

37
00:01:29,201 --> 00:01:32,689
Unlike Elliot and Carla, when Turk
and I made plans we kept them.

38
00:01:32,724 --> 00:01:34,555
It's 10 o'clock. You ready?

39
00:01:34,590 --> 00:01:35,477
Let's do it.

40
00:01:35,812 --> 00:01:39,215
But lately for us, our plans rarely
involved leaving the apartment.

41
00:01:43,617 --> 00:01:47,020
I wasn't too excited about taking over this
spot after you sat in it for twenty minutes,

42
00:01:47,020 --> 00:01:50,599
but I gotta tell ya,
it's warm in all the right places.

43
00:01:50,658 --> 00:01:51,455
Mm-hmm.

44
00:01:51,490 --> 00:01:53,143
How do you like what
I left you over there?

45
00:01:53,178 --> 00:01:58,312
Oh, man, your ass indentation is so deep,
it's like I'm sitting in a giant inner tube.

46
00:01:58,347 --> 00:02:01,058
As Turk and I recuperated
from our big chair swap,

47
00:02:01,093 --> 00:02:02,908
I wondered what other
couples were doing tonight.

48
00:02:03,208 --> 00:02:05,317
Did I just refer to Turk and I as a couple?

49
00:02:05,517 --> 00:02:08,545
My point is, I'm sure other
couples were out having fun.

50
00:02:10,859 --> 00:02:14,221
You look so hot.
When's the last time we kissed?

51
00:02:14,656 --> 00:02:15,794
About a month ago.

52
00:02:15,829 --> 00:02:17,584
When's the last time we had sex?

53
00:02:17,619 --> 00:02:18,462
Yesterday.

54
00:02:18,497 --> 00:02:21,688
Whatta you say we head into
the bathroom of this place and

55
00:02:21,689 --> 00:02:24,218
lower the health code
rating from an A to a B?

56
00:02:24,253 --> 00:02:25,190
Whatta you say?

57
00:02:25,225 --> 00:02:28,399
I guess some people figure, What's
the worst that can happen?

58
00:02:30,782 --> 00:02:31,389
Well?

59
00:02:31,972 --> 00:02:34,528
It's blue. I'm not pregnant.

60
00:02:34,563 --> 00:02:35,486
Ohh.

61
00:02:35,821 --> 00:02:36,807
You know what's weird?

62
00:02:36,842 --> 00:02:40,459
I'm relieved,
I just feel...kinda sad,

63
00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:43,225
because I think about
how beautiful our son is and I...

64
00:02:43,260 --> 00:02:46,013
kinda wish it had gone
the other way, you know?

65
00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:48,474
Sweetie?

66
00:02:49,309 --> 00:02:53,678
SHE'S NOT PREGNANT! IT CAME OUT BLUE!

67
00:02:53,878 --> 00:02:58,144
IT'S BLUE! SHE'S NOT PREGNANT!

68
00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:02,177
IT'S BLUE! IT CAME OUT BLUE!

69
00:03:03,223 --> 00:03:06,069
Transcripts :
www.mopnt.com

70
00:03:06,070 --> 00:03:08,915
Subtitles :
elanouil

71
00:03:09,096 --> 00:03:11,843
Scrubs Episode 4x14
My Lucky Charm

72
00:03:12,184 --> 00:03:14,272
www.forom.com

73
00:03:15,878 --> 00:03:17,997
The epi isn't working,
I still don't have a rhythm.

74
00:03:18,497 --> 00:03:21,145
The transcutaneous pacer
isn't capturing.

75
00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:27,555
Pupils are fixed and dilated;
I'm calling it. Time of death: 9:17.

76
00:03:27,961 --> 00:03:31,994
I always thought that when I died I'd see
a bright light or float above the ground.

77
00:03:32,029 --> 00:03:34,595
Turns out death is pretty mundane.

78
00:03:34,795 --> 00:03:37,651
I guess sometimes the end...
is just the end.

79
00:03:37,686 --> 00:03:42,147
For the last time, Jerry, you're not dead!
Okay? Now go back to your room!

80
00:03:44,528 --> 00:03:47,658
Jerry has Cotard's or
"walking corpse" Syndrome.

81
00:03:47,693 --> 00:03:50,003
The guy thinks he's dead even
though he's walking around.

82
00:03:50,693 --> 00:03:53,366
I think I'll try to ask
Turk something telepathically.

83
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:55,417
<i>Hey, man, you wanna
do something tonight?</i>

84
00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:58,711
Dude, yeah. Let's hang out and
watch some TV. We got any beer?

85
00:03:58,746 --> 00:04:01,538
I think I used the last of it to
make our special party ice.

86
00:04:01,573 --> 00:04:04,770
Hey! If I accidentally put beer cubes
in my orange juice again,

87
00:04:04,805 --> 00:04:07,743
there's gonna be trouble. I almost
got a D.U.I. because of you guys!

88
00:04:07,778 --> 00:04:10,662
Dr. Mickhead was wondering if you
would cover his patient in 310?

89
00:04:10,697 --> 00:04:14,202
The guy was in some bar fight and has
been unconscious since he got here.

90
00:04:14,237 --> 00:04:16,100
He was brought in by some
brother from Ireland.

91
00:04:16,145 --> 00:04:20,329
Do you mean an Irish brother
or an Irish...bruthah?

92
00:04:28,190 --> 00:04:30,781
Top of the mizzle to ya, me lizzles.

93
00:04:31,216 --> 00:04:33,075
I mean his sibling.

94
00:04:33,610 --> 00:04:35,399
Aw, man.

95
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,853
And you must be the Irish brother.

96
00:04:47,304 --> 00:04:49,826
No, sir. Ron Pearson,
Ohio born and bred.

97
00:04:49,861 --> 00:04:51,619
Yep, red-stater and proud of it.

98
00:04:51,771 --> 00:04:53,254
Oh, sorry, we--

99
00:04:53,289 --> 00:04:55,054
Only takin' the piss out of you, lads.

100
00:04:55,089 --> 00:04:56,574
Name's Billy Calahan.

101
00:04:56,609 --> 00:04:58,286
Had you goin' with the American
accent, though, didn't I?

102
00:04:58,870 --> 00:05:00,704
I'll just put it out there,
do it as a favor,

103
00:05:00,705 --> 00:05:03,394
is there any chance I could get
one of these filled with Guinness?

104
00:05:03,594 --> 00:05:06,696
I've an awful hangover, me head is split,
we had a late night last night,

105
00:05:06,697 --> 00:05:09,119
as you can see, and I'm a bit shaky.
Is there any chance?

106
00:05:09,129 --> 00:05:11,461
Probably not. We don't usually do that.

107
00:05:11,496 --> 00:05:12,976
Oh. Okay.

108
00:05:15,070 --> 00:05:17,533
Carla.... I'm so bummed.

109
00:05:17,568 --> 00:05:18,978
I can't go see the
chamber orchestra tonight--

110
00:05:19,013 --> 00:05:21,302
I totally forgot I have
my Cantonese class.

111
00:05:21,337 --> 00:05:22,467
And I would totally call and cancel,

112
00:05:22,468 --> 00:05:24,506
but the onlything I know how to say
is "I'm allergic to peanuts."

113
00:05:24,668 --> 00:05:27,565
Ohh, Elliot, I was really
looking forward to this!

114
00:05:27,989 --> 00:05:29,031
Really?

115
00:05:29,066 --> 00:05:30,175
'Cause about five seconds ago

116
00:05:30,176 --> 00:05:32,547
you were all giddy about
going home and taking a bath tonight.

117
00:05:33,544 --> 00:05:34,874
Why would you do that to me?

118
00:05:34,909 --> 00:05:36,432
New thing: I'm bustin' chops.

119
00:05:38,466 --> 00:05:41,260
So...you just forgot we even had plans?

120
00:05:41,295 --> 00:05:43,621
What's the big deal? You were
flaking on them anyway.

121
00:05:43,956 --> 00:05:46,891
I wasn't. I have my Cantonese class.

122
00:05:47,126 --> 00:05:50,072
But do you?
Do you really?

123
00:05:50,607 --> 00:05:51,821
Bustin' chops.

124
00:05:54,917 --> 00:05:58,119
Fine! At least I remembered the plans
well enough to flake on them!

125
00:05:58,154 --> 00:06:01,091
Oh, yeah? Well, if I knew you
were gonna flake on them,

126
00:06:01,126 --> 00:06:04,426
I would've never made plans to forget
in the first place, 'cause you...

127
00:06:04,461 --> 00:06:06,513
She's gone, Carla. It's over.

128
00:06:07,908 --> 00:06:10,034
Where the hell have you been
for the last few days?

129
00:06:10,069 --> 00:06:10,863
Deep-sea fishing.

130
00:06:10,898 --> 00:06:11,889
You hate fishing.

131
00:06:11,924 --> 00:06:12,868
Went with my buddies.

132
00:06:12,903 --> 00:06:13,617
You don't have any buddies.

133
00:06:13,652 --> 00:06:14,017
Oh, yeah?

134
00:06:14,018 --> 00:06:17,056
Well, we landed a two hundred pound
white marlin off the coast of San Diego.

135
00:06:17,191 --> 00:06:18,144
Interesting.

136
00:06:18,179 --> 00:06:21,710
'Cause that's three thousand miles from
the natural habitat of the white marlin.

137
00:06:21,745 --> 00:06:24,181
Well, perhaps it hopped
a train from Cape Cod!

138
00:06:24,316 --> 00:06:24,925
Why!?

139
00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:27,130
I'm bustin' chops today.
You can ask anybody.

140
00:06:27,165 --> 00:06:27,940
It's true.

141
00:06:27,975 --> 00:06:29,166
See?

142
00:06:29,869 --> 00:06:32,133
So what did you really do?
And why are you limping?

143
00:06:32,168 --> 00:06:32,898
Perry!

144
00:06:33,533 --> 00:06:35,027
I got a vasectomy. Do not tell Jordan!

145
00:06:35,062 --> 00:06:36,854
Welcome back, Perry! Hi!

146
00:06:36,889 --> 00:06:40,256
Ohhh, honey! Howwwww I missed you!

147
00:06:42,922 --> 00:06:43,987
Come on, Billy, just say it.

148
00:06:44,076 --> 00:06:45,617
For the last time, lads: no.

149
00:06:45,852 --> 00:06:47,478
Oh, then perhaps
you're not really Irish.

150
00:06:47,513 --> 00:06:48,481
FINE!

151
00:06:49,161 --> 00:06:53,884
Pink hearts, yellow moons,
orange stars, green clovers.

152
00:06:53,919 --> 00:06:55,166
See! I told ya!

153
00:06:55,201 --> 00:06:56,347
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

154
00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:57,345
He's Irish!

155
00:06:57,380 --> 00:06:58,667
Yeah he is, yeah he is!

156
00:06:58,702 --> 00:07:00,858
How long're you two seeing each other?
You're a great couple.

157
00:07:00,893 --> 00:07:02,922
Ohh, no, man,
we're just living together.

158
00:07:02,957 --> 00:07:06,763
And not like, like, livin' together,
I mean, like, liiiivin' together!

159
00:07:07,724 --> 00:07:10,143
Hey, that is a cool tattoo, my brother!

160
00:07:10,178 --> 00:07:12,024
Oh, yeah, I got this,
I snuck onto a plane,

161
00:07:12,059 --> 00:07:13,644
thought it was going to Belgium,
ended up in Kenya.

162
00:07:13,679 --> 00:07:15,197
Long story short,
I hung out with this tribe;

163
00:07:15,232 --> 00:07:17,971
when the males go through
adolescence, they get this tattoo.

164
00:07:18,006 --> 00:07:19,274
It means

165
00:07:19,275 --> 00:07:20,541
"alias."

166
00:07:20,893 --> 00:07:22,316
Oh, why "alias"?

167
00:07:22,563 --> 00:07:23,693
It's their favorite show.

168
00:07:23,728 --> 00:07:25,005
- Ohhhh.
- Ohhhh.

169
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:26,692
I'm only kiddin'.
I don't know what it means.

170
00:07:29,027 --> 00:07:32,171
Enough about me. What about you lads, you
know, saving lives here all day every day?

171
00:07:32,171 --> 00:07:36,238
Out at night, givin' out a lash, tearin' it
up? You do go out at night, don't ya?

172
00:07:38,387 --> 00:07:39,783
Do you have any sevens?

173
00:07:43,681 --> 00:07:44,627
Turk!

174
00:07:48,451 --> 00:07:50,183
You have lots of sevens!

175
00:07:52,342 --> 00:07:53,980
We tear it.

176
00:07:54,260 --> 00:07:57,084
And--and--and sometimes lash,
but with the hours we work, it's....

177
00:07:57,184 --> 00:07:58,973
It's less tearing and more folding.

178
00:07:59,108 --> 00:07:59,574
Right.

179
00:07:59,609 --> 00:08:00,533
Gently folding.

180
00:08:00,768 --> 00:08:01,165
Yeah.

181
00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,095
Lads! You're sleepin' off and
you're dead and buried.

182
00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:05,607
You have to get out in the streets,
you have to talk to a stranger.

183
00:08:06,007 --> 00:08:09,056
Drink a beer with breakfast! Take
the ugliest girl home at the party!

184
00:08:09,130 --> 00:08:11,652
Done it! Done that.
That one I've done.

185
00:08:11,987 --> 00:08:13,986
Go travelin' to Texas, you know?

186
00:08:14,186 --> 00:08:16,672
Go line dancing with some married women
that wish they weren't married.

187
00:08:16,707 --> 00:08:18,280
You never know what life
would put in your lap

188
00:08:18,281 --> 00:08:19,644
when you open your arms
and embrace it!

189
00:08:19,924 --> 00:08:22,614
"You'll be surprised what'll fall in your
lap if you open up and embrace life..."

190
00:08:22,649 --> 00:08:23,319
Dude.

191
00:08:23,354 --> 00:08:24,060
Elliot!

192
00:08:25,595 --> 00:08:29,201
He said my eyes look like the Irish
countryside after a soft rain.

193
00:08:30,992 --> 00:08:31,749
I should go.

194
00:08:32,884 --> 00:08:33,982
That happened very quickly.

195
00:08:34,017 --> 00:08:37,883
Don't even sweat it. It's Elliot.
She's desperate!

196
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:38,605
Dude.

197
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:40,605
Baby!

198
00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:44,125
What? What? I wasn't gonna do anything!
He said my hair was curly.

199
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,436
Your hair is curly.

200
00:08:46,389 --> 00:08:47,536
- BABY!
- BABY!

201
00:08:47,571 --> 00:08:48,304
Okay!

202
00:08:50,732 --> 00:08:53,985
What, uh, what did you do around
the apartment while I was gone?

203
00:08:54,020 --> 00:08:57,142
Oh! I turned your little office
into my pajama closet,

204
00:08:57,177 --> 00:09:00,400
I threw out everything in the 'frigerator
that had the word "jerky" or "whiz" on it,

205
00:09:00,414 --> 00:09:04,186
I got rid of all your clothes that make
you look like you're twenty years old--

206
00:09:04,187 --> 00:09:05,978
don't worry, I saved
your hockey jerseys.

207
00:09:06,013 --> 00:09:09,801
Although I did move them
into my new...pajama closet!

208
00:09:09,836 --> 00:09:14,069
And for some reason none of the remotes
work anymore. And why are you limping?

209
00:09:14,230 --> 00:09:18,173
Fishing? I'm limping from fishing.

210
00:09:19,008 --> 00:09:20,698
I know that limp.

211
00:09:20,733 --> 00:09:22,110
No, Bob. Bob, no.

212
00:09:22,145 --> 00:09:23,798
You just got a vasectomy!

213
00:09:23,833 --> 00:09:26,196
I had mine done back in '68.

214
00:09:26,231 --> 00:09:29,081
Ironically, that was the same year
that Enid discovered pasta

215
00:09:29,082 --> 00:09:31,557
and I discovered I'm not
attracted to enormous women.

216
00:09:31,592 --> 00:09:33,724
I didn't just get a vasectomy.

217
00:09:33,759 --> 00:09:38,505
Come on, soldier! If I have to force
you to drop your pants, I will!

218
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:42,715
So, tell Bobbo, was it a hard decision
for the two of you to make?

219
00:09:46,128 --> 00:09:48,783
Snip it, doc.
Snip it hard.

220
00:09:50,618 --> 00:09:55,679
Yeah, we...we really...
struggled...with it.

221
00:09:55,714 --> 00:09:57,575
I don't really care.

222
00:10:03,914 --> 00:10:04,947
You're right, love.

223
00:10:05,382 --> 00:10:06,073
Mmm.

224
00:10:07,208 --> 00:10:08,903
Why are you waving?
You're married.

225
00:10:08,938 --> 00:10:11,032
So what?
Married people can't wave now?

226
00:10:11,267 --> 00:10:12,457
You can wave like this:

227
00:10:12,792 --> 00:10:14,080
You can't wave like this:

228
00:10:15,572 --> 00:10:17,185
I didn't know
you were a waving expert.

229
00:10:17,220 --> 00:10:20,170
What plans of ours did you flake
on to go to that waving seminar?

230
00:10:20,205 --> 00:10:22,727
Oh, why are you asking me?
Did you forget?!

231
00:10:22,728 --> 00:10:23,931
You big plan forgetter.

232
00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:26,417
Besides, I don't need to go to
a waving seminar to know that

233
00:10:26,452 --> 00:10:28,797
this wave is
internationally known as

234
00:10:28,953 --> 00:10:31,656
"I am a married woman whose
self esteem has plummeted because

235
00:10:31,691 --> 00:10:35,649
nobody looks at me anymore, and so
I'm acting like a desperate hussy."

236
00:10:35,684 --> 00:10:37,093
Oh, snap!

237
00:10:37,128 --> 00:10:38,957
Did you just call me a hussy!?

238
00:10:38,992 --> 00:10:40,289
Desperate hussy!

239
00:10:48,619 --> 00:10:50,899
Oh, whoa, whoa! Ladies, stop!

240
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:53,264
Continue.

241
00:11:00,353 --> 00:11:03,269
So, Billy, we're gonna need to get
your brother's insurance information.

242
00:11:03,304 --> 00:11:06,812
Oh, he's not me brother. Sure'n I only
met the fellow last night, God bless him.

243
00:11:07,247 --> 00:11:09,782
In life, we often make
assumptions that aren't true.

244
00:11:11,258 --> 00:11:13,761
Whether it's assuming you know
how someone's gonna react...

245
00:11:14,096 --> 00:11:16,999
Okay, let me have it.

246
00:11:18,622 --> 00:11:20,097
Whatever makes you happy, sweetie.

247
00:11:21,032 --> 00:11:22,565
See you at home.

248
00:11:27,997 --> 00:11:30,733
...Or assuming that a little girl from
Connecticut would never fight dirty.

249
00:11:32,757 --> 00:11:33,952
I'm going in!

250
00:11:36,026 --> 00:11:38,368
The crazy thing is
most assumptions could be avoided if

251
00:11:38,369 --> 00:11:40,582
you just asked a simple
question in the first place.

252
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,494
Well, if you're not his brother,
then who are you?

253
00:11:43,029 --> 00:11:45,535
Me? I'm the bloke that hit him.

254
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:53,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

255
00:11:56,036 --> 00:11:57,487
Billy, I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave.

256
00:11:57,622 --> 00:11:59,103
Lads, it was an accident, right?

257
00:11:59,503 --> 00:12:03,049
He threw the first punch, then I hit him,
he slipped, hit his head on the bar.

258
00:12:03,050 --> 00:12:04,786
Now, listen, where I come from,

259
00:12:04,821 --> 00:12:07,607
you knock someone unconscious, you
stay around, you make sure they're okay.

260
00:12:08,158 --> 00:12:10,051
Right? So, guess what?

261
00:12:10,816 --> 00:12:11,686
I won't be leaving.

262
00:12:11,721 --> 00:12:13,975
Well, then, you're gonna have to
deal with me and my partner.

263
00:12:15,099 --> 00:12:17,753
I mean, like, my--my partner,
not like my--my partner.

264
00:12:18,988 --> 00:12:20,633
Can I talk to you outside for a second?

265
00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:24,218
How you doing?

266
00:12:24,553 --> 00:12:27,467
Not great, actually. I'm dead.

267
00:12:27,902 --> 00:12:30,143
Bummer. How long?

268
00:12:30,278 --> 00:12:31,864
Four years next month.

269
00:12:31,899 --> 00:12:33,108
Geez, that's a nightmare.

270
00:12:33,708 --> 00:12:36,019
I was dead once, for about ten minutes.

271
00:12:36,519 --> 00:12:38,276
Then me mate Danny peed on me head.

272
00:12:38,343 --> 00:12:38,912
Really.

273
00:12:39,447 --> 00:12:41,261
It's quite a sight
to wake up to, though.

274
00:12:45,958 --> 00:12:47,363
Heard you guys were fighting.

275
00:12:47,798 --> 00:12:48,709
We made up.

276
00:12:48,744 --> 00:12:49,728
No they didn't.

277
00:12:50,363 --> 00:12:51,310
Chop bustin'.

278
00:12:52,115 --> 00:12:53,166
And doc dustin'.

279
00:12:54,716 --> 00:12:57,740
Well, Elliot, you don't look too banged up
about it -- you got your arm around Carla.

280
00:12:57,975 --> 00:13:00,477
My hand is stuck in this rat's
nest that she calls hair!

281
00:13:00,512 --> 00:13:01,129
Dye job!

282
00:13:01,164 --> 00:13:04,282
Got it! But, Chopstick, you're
gonna have to buy a new watch.

283
00:13:04,517 --> 00:13:07,122
And Carla, you may wanna
borrow some of my spray-on hair.

284
00:13:09,657 --> 00:13:10,118
Baby--

285
00:13:10,153 --> 00:13:12,971
No, dude, forget them.
We have to deal with Billy.

286
00:13:13,006 --> 00:13:14,898
Now, should we call the cops
on this guy or what?

287
00:13:14,933 --> 00:13:16,807
I don't know, man, he seems cool.

288
00:13:16,842 --> 00:13:19,027
He put a guy in the hospital;
that's a felony.

289
00:13:19,028 --> 00:13:20,979
And as doctors we're
supposed to report him.

290
00:13:21,014 --> 00:13:23,041
Are you trying to convince me to do
something that you already did?

291
00:13:23,042 --> 00:13:24,161
'Cause you know that drives me crazy!

292
00:13:24,196 --> 00:13:29,485
No! This is a decision we both need to
make! Together! As a team, as a unit!

293
00:13:30,320 --> 00:13:32,207
All right, fine, let's call the cops.

294
00:13:32,242 --> 00:13:33,161
Thank God.

295
00:13:34,133 --> 00:13:37,804
Hello, gentlemen. We got a call
about a felony from a Dr. Turk?

296
00:13:39,047 --> 00:13:40,893
"Turk"'s easier to hear over the phone.

297
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:43,531
"Dorian" isn't hard
to hear over the phone.

298
00:13:43,566 --> 00:13:45,706
But I didn't really want to
talk about it with Turk.

299
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:48,979
When you have a problem with someone,
you tend to talk to everyone except them.

300
00:13:49,014 --> 00:13:52,576
I went behind Jordan's back
and got my junk rewired.

301
00:13:53,176 --> 00:13:55,068
She was sweet to me.

302
00:13:55,368 --> 00:13:59,648
Sweet, Bobbo. What the hell
do you make of that?

303
00:14:02,358 --> 00:14:04,120
Carla thinks she's so tough, you know?

304
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:06,391
She's "been around the block."
She's "from the block."

305
00:14:06,426 --> 00:14:09,855
Enough about the block! It's not my
fault my family had an orchard.

306
00:14:10,490 --> 00:14:13,499
For four years I've had to listen
to Elliot complain about her problems.

307
00:14:13,534 --> 00:14:14,970
"My parents are too rich."

308
00:14:14,971 --> 00:14:16,407
"I slept with J.D. again."

309
00:14:16,408 --> 00:14:18,063
"Why can't I gain any weight?"

310
00:14:18,098 --> 00:14:20,609
I have problems of my own!
I'm from the block!

311
00:14:20,700 --> 00:14:23,022
I wanted to help her, I just
wish she could've heard me.

312
00:14:23,057 --> 00:14:24,218
Okay, Jerry, you're out.

313
00:14:24,253 --> 00:14:25,127
Laverne?

314
00:14:25,162 --> 00:14:26,044
Mm-hmm?

315
00:14:26,079 --> 00:14:26,700
Can I talk to you?

316
00:14:26,735 --> 00:14:29,553
Perry, believe me when I say
I'm proud to welcome you to

317
00:14:29,554 --> 00:14:32,622
what I like to call the
"seedless grapes club." But still....

318
00:14:32,657 --> 00:14:36,706
I have just one obvious and
hopefully chop-busting question....

319
00:14:37,241 --> 00:14:39,350
Why the hell are you
talking to me about this?

320
00:14:41,744 --> 00:14:43,294
I guess I should be talking to her.

321
00:14:48,100 --> 00:14:50,963
Jordan? Jordan, why aren't
you more upset about this?

322
00:14:50,998 --> 00:14:53,632
I, honest to God, I don't get it.
I mean, normally you'd go to your

323
00:14:53,633 --> 00:14:55,102
mother's for a bitch refresher course,

324
00:14:55,103 --> 00:14:57,616
and then you'd come right back here
just swinging for the fences.

325
00:14:58,051 --> 00:15:00,056
You know what,
I'd love to stay and chat,

326
00:15:00,091 --> 00:15:02,539
but if we're late for ballet,
Jack won't get a spot by the bathroom

327
00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:03,762
and then he'll pee in his tights.

328
00:15:03,797 --> 00:15:08,119
I'm sorry, my son is taking...
is taking ballet?

329
00:15:08,154 --> 00:15:09,930
Come on, Jordan,
he's already got

330
00:15:09,931 --> 00:15:12,620
an overbearing mother and
a fairly prominent lisp.

331
00:15:12,655 --> 00:15:14,134
If we stick him in the tights, well,

332
00:15:14,135 --> 00:15:17,036
we might as well just go ahead and get
him a timeshare on Fire Island.

333
00:15:17,454 --> 00:15:19,892
Oh, I haven't even decided if
I'm gonna make him gay yet.

334
00:15:19,927 --> 00:15:24,347
Oh. I see what this is.
This is "the payback," ah?

335
00:15:24,382 --> 00:15:25,168
Perry!

336
00:15:25,182 --> 00:15:28,038
I didn't freak out 'cause you and I
are two very independent people

337
00:15:28,039 --> 00:15:30,467
in a relationship and we
don't always share our feelings.

338
00:15:30,502 --> 00:15:33,513
I didn't get angry
because I'm not surprised.

339
00:15:33,548 --> 00:15:34,435
Ba-ba.

340
00:15:34,470 --> 00:15:35,629
Let's go ballet!

341
00:15:37,625 --> 00:15:40,979
Do I wish it were different?
Sometimes.

342
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:45,277
But, whatever you and I have is working,
so I guess I just have to live with it.

343
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:47,331
"Bye, daddy."

344
00:15:52,531 --> 00:15:53,830
So, how you feeling down there?

345
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:56,614
Oh, great. Great. Reverse it.

346
00:16:02,746 --> 00:16:03,677
See ya, lads.

347
00:16:07,578 --> 00:16:08,592
Ohh, man!

348
00:16:08,927 --> 00:16:10,883
I know we feel guilty, okay?
But it's over.

349
00:16:10,918 --> 00:16:13,162
It's not like there's gonna
be any ramifications.

350
00:16:15,418 --> 00:16:19,492
You have one day to come up
with another gorgeous Irishman.

351
00:16:19,527 --> 00:16:20,677
One day.

352
00:16:21,187 --> 00:16:24,980
What? The Todd appreciates
hot, regardless of gender!

353
00:16:31,635 --> 00:16:35,666
I'm glad Billy's gone. He's such a
jerk. He kept calling me "bonny."

354
00:16:35,701 --> 00:16:37,083
"Bonny" means "pretty."

355
00:16:37,918 --> 00:16:40,985
Oh, my God!
I will never love like that again!

356
00:16:42,231 --> 00:16:45,130
You know I wasn't really mad about
Billy or the whole flaking thing.

357
00:16:45,165 --> 00:16:48,729
I remember hugging you the day of
my wedding and thinking to myself,

358
00:16:48,764 --> 00:16:52,020
even though the other two bridesmaids
were my sisters, I felt closer to you.

359
00:16:53,654 --> 00:16:55,440
When did we stop being best friends?

360
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,078
I mean, it feels like it took us
so long to get to that point and that

361
00:16:59,079 --> 00:17:00,537
it's gone away so quickly,
you know?

362
00:17:00,572 --> 00:17:04,217
Well, my fault. Been burying
myself in being married.

363
00:17:04,252 --> 00:17:05,906
Oh, please,
it was your first year.

364
00:17:05,907 --> 00:17:08,600
I mean, I should've been the
one to make the extra effort.

365
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:10,345
So what now?

366
00:17:11,329 --> 00:17:12,375
We try harder.

367
00:17:12,810 --> 00:17:13,781
All right.

368
00:17:14,644 --> 00:17:16,815
Yo, who taught you
how to fight like that?

369
00:17:16,987 --> 00:17:19,501
When you grow up in an orchard,
you don't have much choice.

370
00:17:21,644 --> 00:17:22,797
Apple thieves.

371
00:17:31,287 --> 00:17:32,400
What the hell happened to you?

372
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:34,916
I got them to reverse the vasectomy.

373
00:17:34,951 --> 00:17:37,713
What an incredibly normal thing to do!

374
00:17:38,048 --> 00:17:40,255
Jordan, let me talk for a second.

375
00:17:40,290 --> 00:17:44,574
I've been trained for many years
to take any emotion I feel,

376
00:17:44,575 --> 00:17:48,716
push it down, and then let it out
by drinking way too much

377
00:17:48,751 --> 00:17:51,369
and by yelling at the football
players on my T.V. screen.

378
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:54,134
And I...
I really thought I hit the jackpot

379
00:17:54,135 --> 00:17:58,683
when I finally met a woman who was
as disturbed and closed-off as I am.

380
00:17:58,690 --> 00:17:59,605
Thank you.

381
00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:02,927
You're welcome. Still,
now I want more. I--

382
00:18:02,962 --> 00:18:05,608
I really do.
I want to talk about things.

383
00:18:05,643 --> 00:18:06,876
Not--not everything.
Not everything.

384
00:18:06,877 --> 00:18:08,808
I definitely, definitely don't want
to talk about everything.

385
00:18:08,843 --> 00:18:11,921
For instance I don't need to know when
you beat up a woman in the park

386
00:18:11,922 --> 00:18:13,785
because her purse
is the same color as yours;

387
00:18:13,820 --> 00:18:19,160
but things that matter, things that are
important to us as a--as a family.

388
00:18:19,195 --> 00:18:23,613
And I know... I know that there are
guys who bring flowers

389
00:18:23,648 --> 00:18:25,947
and that there are guys
who write love songs.

390
00:18:26,830 --> 00:18:29,313
But, Jordan, I'm a guy
sitting in front of you here

391
00:18:29,314 --> 00:18:31,260
with a twice operated-on penis that says

392
00:18:31,295 --> 00:18:33,979
"I want to be a couple that
communicates more openly."

393
00:18:34,462 --> 00:18:36,680
What kind of guy writes love songs?

394
00:18:37,115 --> 00:18:39,436
Guys whose mothers
make them go to ballet class.

395
00:18:39,671 --> 00:18:40,669
Fair enough.

396
00:18:43,504 --> 00:18:44,555
You know how much I love you?

397
00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,050
I love you too.

398
00:18:50,989 --> 00:18:53,202
Okay, now that we're being
all open and honest?

399
00:18:53,216 --> 00:18:53,600
Yeah.

400
00:18:53,635 --> 00:18:57,475
I do not want to have any more kids.
I think you should get the vasectomy!

401
00:18:58,065 --> 00:18:58,903
Fantastic.

402
00:19:00,399 --> 00:19:03,020
My partner and I --
yeah, I said it --

403
00:19:03,021 --> 00:19:06,400
we had heard that Billy was back,
and he was mad.

404
00:19:06,784 --> 00:19:07,609
I warned ya!

405
00:19:08,934 --> 00:19:09,877
What the hell happened?

406
00:19:09,912 --> 00:19:12,121
He woke up and said something snarky,
so I popped him again!

407
00:19:12,156 --> 00:19:13,290
Are you serious?!

408
00:19:14,461 --> 00:19:14,804
BOO!

409
00:19:14,839 --> 00:19:16,263
Aaaaaaaghgggghhhhhhh!

410
00:19:18,998 --> 00:19:22,094
Ohh, you think scaring people's funny,
huh?! Well, good! Because you're dying!

411
00:19:22,129 --> 00:19:23,686
John Dorian, you are a doctor!

412
00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:24,570
Well, he started it!

413
00:19:24,805 --> 00:19:25,789
Sorry about your face, man.

414
00:19:26,124 --> 00:19:27,987
Oh, please, I threw the first
punch. It was my fault.

415
00:19:28,222 --> 00:19:29,809
Right then. I'm off.

416
00:19:31,551 --> 00:19:33,030
I'm supposed to be in
Florence by midnight.

417
00:19:33,265 --> 00:19:34,684
How the hell are you gonna do that?

418
00:19:35,219 --> 00:19:36,675
Her apartment's two blocks away.

419
00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:38,335
It should be no problem at all.

420
00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:41,653
Well, hey, we're sorry about the
whole incarceration thing.

421
00:19:41,688 --> 00:19:43,598
No worries.
Life's too short to hold a grudge.

422
00:19:43,633 --> 00:19:47,204
But still, you two boys might want to
ask yourselves why you contacted

423
00:19:47,239 --> 00:19:49,578
the authorities but didn't have the
decency to come and talk to me first.

424
00:19:49,604 --> 00:19:53,023
But I should let you two
"partners" figure that out.

425
00:19:53,058 --> 00:19:55,940
By the way, you're a gorgeous
couple. Good luck to ya.

426
00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:58,187
See ya, lads!

427
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:06,118
When I was alive, I wish I had lived one
day like he lives every day of his life.

428
00:20:06,153 --> 00:20:07,733
Dead people don't talk, Jerry.

429
00:20:08,968 --> 00:20:12,569
We weren't really mad at Jerry, what we
realized was that we were jealous of Billy,

430
00:20:12,604 --> 00:20:15,010
because he was out living
life and Turk and I weren't.

431
00:20:15,745 --> 00:20:17,970
I guess it's important
not to take life for granted.

432
00:20:19,005 --> 00:20:20,832
Whether it's appreciating
your relationships...

433
00:20:20,867 --> 00:20:23,253
All righty, let's go for
the hat-trick, there, doc.

434
00:20:23,288 --> 00:20:23,812
Are you sure?

435
00:20:23,847 --> 00:20:25,893
Hey, doc! Zip it, grip it, and snip it!

436
00:20:29,739 --> 00:20:31,100
Or renewing your friendships.

437
00:20:33,190 --> 00:20:33,940
I almost peed!

438
00:20:35,648 --> 00:20:39,250
For Turk and I, it was important just to
get out and start living life, period.

439
00:20:39,785 --> 00:20:43,349
Buddy, it is almost one o'clock in the
morning, and we have to be at work at five.

440
00:20:43,384 --> 00:20:44,870
I know, but how often do we do this?

441
00:20:46,305 --> 00:20:47,713
You're absolutely right, come on.

442
00:20:49,048 --> 00:20:50,821
Do you have any twos?

443
00:20:50,856 --> 00:20:52,787
Uh, no. Go fish, please.

444
00:20:53,660 --> 00:20:55,674
Do you have any Ks?

445
00:20:56,519 --> 00:20:58,270
Ah, please go fish.

446
00:20:59,305 --> 00:21:05,919
Support us and become VIP member 
to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org