1
00:00:02,635 --> 00:00:05,267
Before I settled on the outfit for
my first date with Kylie,

2
00:00:05,268 --> 00:00:06,475
I had to run it
by the experts.

3
00:00:06,510 --> 00:00:09,988
So be honest, but not too honest,
'cause I'm feeling a little chunky.

4
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:17,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

5
00:00:18,046 --> 00:00:18,785
We like it.

6
00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:21,783
Oh, thank god. I could have sworn
I heard the word jowly.

7
00:00:22,631 --> 00:00:26,233
So, uh...ha. How many outfits did you
try on before you picked that one?

8
00:00:40,184 --> 00:00:41,450
Not too many.

9
00:00:42,153 --> 00:00:44,655
You know, on a first date,
I could see what a guy was wearing

10
00:00:44,656 --> 00:00:46,714
and know exactly how far
he was gonna get that night.

11
00:00:46,749 --> 00:00:47,614
Oh, me, too.

12
00:00:47,649 --> 00:00:49,739
-And that guy's gettin' boobies.
-Yeah, he is.

13
00:00:51,134 --> 00:00:53,585
Whoa! That guy's
gettin' a hug at the door.

14
00:00:55,049 --> 00:00:58,973
And that guy is getting a fake name
and a phone number with 6 digits.

15
00:00:59,008 --> 00:01:01,888
-I know how ridiculous this looks.
-I don't think you do.

16
00:01:01,923 --> 00:01:05,243
But the entire ensemble works together,
and the jacket never comes off.

17
00:01:05,689 --> 00:01:08,292
Now, Carla, I need the keys
to the mini-convertible, ok?

18
00:01:08,327 --> 00:01:10,197
Because that girl is not
getting on my scooter.

19
00:01:10,232 --> 00:01:11,488
The top won't go up.

20
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,175
It'll be awesome.

21
00:01:16,448 --> 00:01:18,090
Sorry about your hair.

22
00:01:19,217 --> 00:01:20,709
Don't beat yourself up.

23
00:01:21,298 --> 00:01:22,796
I got a scrunchie.

24
00:01:27,335 --> 00:01:28,598
There.

25
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:32,908
What the hell was that?

26
00:01:35,420 --> 00:01:38,935
It's a poor little possum.
We should take him to the vet.

27
00:01:39,403 --> 00:01:40,963
It was Sophie's choice.

28
00:01:40,998 --> 00:01:44,925
Either heartlessly leave the possum
there to die or wrap that little guy up

29
00:01:44,926 --> 00:01:48,904
in my sports coat and reveal the short-
sleeved nerd jersey that lurked beneath.

30
00:01:49,298 --> 00:01:52,354
Careful. His little hoof is bleeding
on the gear shift.

31
00:01:52,442 --> 00:01:53,921
Oh. Sorry.

32
00:01:54,343 --> 00:01:58,096
This thing's dead.
That'll be $120.

33
00:01:58,317 --> 00:02:02,033
$120 for a stupid dead rat!

34
00:02:02,203 --> 00:02:06,733
I think it's so sweet that you're
depressed about that poor little possum.

35
00:02:08,624 --> 00:02:10,090
I'll always remember him.

36
00:02:10,578 --> 00:02:12,055
Little Carlton.

37
00:02:12,475 --> 00:02:15,639
I named him after my uncle.
He had red eyes.

38
00:02:15,861 --> 00:02:18,907
Allergic to preserves, but
he spread 'em on everything, you know?

39
00:02:20,001 --> 00:02:23,784
Anyway. We only lost about half an hour.
We can still make that reservation.

40
00:02:26,455 --> 00:02:28,089
Oh! There's possoms everywhere.

41
00:02:28,306 --> 00:02:30,294
No, no, no.
It's just a box.

42
00:02:31,635 --> 00:02:33,687
A...talking box.

43
00:02:34,767 --> 00:02:36,818
I think your shirt stopped the bleeding.

44
00:02:37,770 --> 00:02:39,293
Great!

45
00:02:42,081 --> 00:02:44,010
Happy birthday, Laverne.

46
00:02:44,045 --> 00:02:45,590
Thanks, Carla.

47
00:02:45,844 --> 00:02:48,484
-Did your brother make you face cake?
-Sure, he did.

48
00:02:51,254 --> 00:02:52,767
Can I have a piece of that face cake?

49
00:02:52,802 --> 00:02:53,963
I heard there was face cake.

50
00:02:53,998 --> 00:02:56,173
Face cake!
I heard--

51
00:02:56,208 --> 00:02:57,736
Back off!

52
00:02:58,464 --> 00:03:00,956
I'm saving this for my party tonight.

53
00:03:11,683 --> 00:03:13,573
Outstanding.

54
00:03:13,608 --> 00:03:17,267
Nurse, do me a favor, please.
Can you bandage this gentleman up?

55
00:03:17,302 --> 00:03:20,891
I think they sensed that my first date
wasn't going perfectly,

56
00:03:20,926 --> 00:03:25,330
and even though I could smell face cake
in the air, it was about to get worse.

57
00:03:25,365 --> 00:03:26,690
Dr Dorkian, I presume?

58
00:03:27,397 --> 00:03:29,355
The ex-girlfriend from hell.

59
00:03:29,390 --> 00:03:30,359
Get out!

60
00:03:30,394 --> 00:03:34,173
Get out before she sprays her toxic
stink all over your new relationship.

61
00:03:34,591 --> 00:03:38,955
Danni, love to stay and talk, but
I'm giving Kylie here a tour of the ICU.

62
00:03:39,298 --> 00:03:41,967
Hey, hey, you were gonna
take me back to the underpass!

63
00:03:42,002 --> 00:03:44,637
After the tour!
What is it with you and the underpass?

64
00:03:45,458 --> 00:03:48,103
She's your nightmare sister.
You take her out to dinner.

65
00:03:48,138 --> 00:03:50,749
I spent the whole day with her.
She stole a sweater.

66
00:03:50,784 --> 00:03:52,539
So what? You're the one wearing it.

67
00:03:53,391 --> 00:03:57,700
Now, let's go eat. I've had nothing
all day except vodka and olives.

68
00:03:59,178 --> 00:04:00,772
Thanks for the shirt, Lonnie.

69
00:04:01,045 --> 00:04:03,510
Are you doing this because
I forgot to shave this morning?

70
00:04:03,545 --> 00:04:05,823
Good lord!
That's a one-day moustache?

71
00:04:05,858 --> 00:04:07,733
No, Lonnie.

72
00:04:09,643 --> 00:04:12,593
It's so great, because the residents
are practically our slaves.

73
00:04:14,144 --> 00:04:17,430
I just said slaves to
my new black girlfriend!

74
00:04:18,681 --> 00:04:20,598
Unfreeze J.D.
It's over.

75
00:04:21,656 --> 00:04:22,987
So, uh...

76
00:04:23,423 --> 00:04:24,970
What's wrong with this guy?

77
00:04:25,005 --> 00:04:26,395
Well, let's see.

78
00:04:26,591 --> 00:04:29,117
Fatigue, fever, malaise.

79
00:04:29,347 --> 00:04:31,645
Have you been to Hong Kong, sir?

80
00:04:32,251 --> 00:04:33,229
Yeah.

81
00:04:33,418 --> 00:04:35,325
And then I said something stupid.

82
00:04:35,816 --> 00:04:36,888
Could be sars.

83
00:04:37,100 --> 00:04:40,114
I forgot that if any
doctor suspects sars,

84
00:04:40,115 --> 00:04:43,058
it's cause for immediate
quarantine lockdown.

85
00:05:00,724 --> 00:05:02,523
What have you done, Newbie?

86
00:05:04,162 --> 00:05:05,840
Quarantinis, anyone?

87
00:05:14,552 --> 00:05:17,304
Scrubs 4x16
My Quarantine

88
00:05:17,339 --> 00:05:20,057
nColas, Raceman
www.forom.com

89
00:05:22,233 --> 00:05:25,599
Mr. Donaldson hasn't been
to Hong Kong in 20 years,

90
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:28,706
so I bet my one remaining testicle
no one has sars.

91
00:05:28,741 --> 00:05:31,900
Unfortunately, by hospital policy,
we have to stay locked down

92
00:05:31,901 --> 00:05:35,009
until the labs come back,
and that's going to take several hours.

93
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,368
So, let's hang in there,
and do not forget,

94
00:05:37,369 --> 00:05:39,060
it is all Dr Dorian's fault.

95
00:05:40,725 --> 00:05:43,500
Kylie, angry mob.
Angry mob, Kylie.

96
00:05:46,330 --> 00:05:47,837
Sars sucks.

97
00:05:48,098 --> 00:05:51,988
Ok. You can direct any technical
questions to my former sister-in-law.

98
00:05:52,011 --> 00:05:53,189
-Hi
-Hi

99
00:05:53,224 --> 00:05:56,569
Otherwise, let's bear in mind
that we are short-handed.

100
00:05:56,570 --> 00:05:58,241
There are only 4 doctors here.

101
00:05:58,276 --> 00:05:59,685
I counted more than that.

102
00:05:59,899 --> 00:06:02,441
I'm talking legitimate doctors,
turtle head.

103
00:06:02,476 --> 00:06:05,130
Pee pants is a pathologist,
so he doesn't count.

104
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:08,429
Johnson is a dermatologist,
which is greek for "fake doctor,"

105
00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:11,195
and please don't even get me
started on you 4 surgeons.

106
00:06:11,669 --> 00:06:13,127
There's only two of us.

107
00:06:13,162 --> 00:06:16,229
You are so very useless,
I counted you both twice.

108
00:06:16,264 --> 00:06:17,787
Yeah you did.

109
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:23,319
So be honest. Is this the worst
first date you've ever been on or what?

110
00:06:23,491 --> 00:06:27,337
I don't know.
I think it's kind of exciting...

111
00:06:27,525 --> 00:06:30,336
Being in a hospital,
getting to see you in action.

112
00:06:30,337 --> 00:06:32,321
I just wish I could be your assistant.

113
00:06:32,356 --> 00:06:34,461
Say no more.
Lonnie, shirt!

114
00:06:34,716 --> 00:06:35,418
No!

115
00:06:35,453 --> 00:06:37,099
Don't make me say pants. I'll do it.

116
00:06:40,407 --> 00:06:42,062
Still tanning, I see.

117
00:06:44,178 --> 00:06:45,428
He's your bitch, isn't he?

118
00:06:45,463 --> 00:06:46,778
Yeah.

119
00:06:46,813 --> 00:06:49,784
That is so cute!
I'll go change.

120
00:06:51,033 --> 00:06:52,986
So, Kylie looks like she's having fun.

121
00:06:53,021 --> 00:06:54,325
It's a front. She's miserable.

122
00:06:54,326 --> 00:06:57,324
So far, the highlight of the night's
been putting a possum to sleep,

123
00:06:57,325 --> 00:06:58,410
and that's not a euphemism.

124
00:06:58,445 --> 00:07:02,275
J.D., seeing a young doctor do his job
is an amazing turn-on for a girl.

125
00:07:02,310 --> 00:07:04,643
My dad's a doctor,
and I remember how excited

126
00:07:04,644 --> 00:07:07,129
I was the first time I saw
him work at the hospital.

127
00:07:07,436 --> 00:07:09,323
I mean, I didn't want
to sleep with him,

128
00:07:09,324 --> 00:07:11,728
but there were definitely
some complicated feelings.

129
00:07:11,931 --> 00:07:15,020
But that's totally normal
for an 11-year-old, right?

130
00:07:15,361 --> 00:07:18,010
Anyway, yeah...

131
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,217
I forgot.

132
00:07:20,758 --> 00:07:22,338
So what first, doctor?

133
00:07:22,373 --> 00:07:23,918
Well, you need a chart.

134
00:07:24,759 --> 00:07:26,873
Lonnie--chart!

135
00:07:28,293 --> 00:07:30,077
You look ridiculous.

136
00:07:30,112 --> 00:07:33,603
Except for that glorious moustache.

137
00:07:35,611 --> 00:07:37,522
Hey, grouchy pants.
Do you wanna hang out?

138
00:07:37,557 --> 00:07:40,112
Does "hang out" mean choke you?

139
00:07:42,009 --> 00:07:45,068
Hey, Danni, what's shakin'?

140
00:07:46,107 --> 00:07:48,851
Turk and Carla's wedding-- we made out.

141
00:07:48,886 --> 00:07:50,013
So did we.

142
00:07:50,048 --> 00:07:51,163
Was it at the same time?

143
00:07:51,164 --> 00:07:53,766
'Cause I have a habit of doing
that at people's weddings.

144
00:07:56,139 --> 00:07:58,500
Leaving.
Good show, fellows.

145
00:07:58,976 --> 00:08:00,649
Wait for me, Perr-Perr.

146
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,956
Smooth maneuver, hoover.
You scared her off.

147
00:08:05,991 --> 00:08:09,113
You were the one who was
embarrassingly forward!

148
00:08:11,788 --> 00:08:15,100
I'm bored. I'm a surgeon,
and there's no surgery.

149
00:08:15,531 --> 00:08:17,155
Why do you think I brought you in here?

150
00:08:17,190 --> 00:08:20,233
We're short-handed. Mr. Dempsey
needs his bedsores redressed.

151
00:08:20,824 --> 00:08:23,943
Baby, that's a nurse stuff,
I don't have the expertise.

152
00:08:23,978 --> 00:08:25,582
Turk, any idiot can be a nurse.

153
00:08:25,958 --> 00:08:27,526
I know, I just think--

154
00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:30,632
I knew you thought that,
I knew it!

155
00:08:31,408 --> 00:08:33,028
You tricked me.

156
00:08:36,718 --> 00:08:40,934
-Say she's mine, Murphy!
-Not till you kill me.

157
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,968
The only thing I detest
more than treating patients,

158
00:08:43,969 --> 00:08:45,872
is treating patients on
an empty stomach.

159
00:08:45,907 --> 00:08:47,081
I'm famished.

160
00:08:47,246 --> 00:08:49,981
-We've been in here for 8 minutes.
-I haven't eate since yesterday.

161
00:08:50,396 --> 00:08:53,647
I've been starving myself because
I was going to a steakhouse tonight.

162
00:08:53,682 --> 00:08:56,556
It was just gonna be me,
a 24-ounce porterhouse,

163
00:08:56,557 --> 00:08:58,316
and a fistful of blood thinners.

164
00:08:58,711 --> 00:09:00,787
That's an incredibly boring story,

165
00:09:00,822 --> 00:09:02,037
with a fantastic...

166
00:09:02,072 --> 00:09:04,051
FINISH!

167
00:09:06,842 --> 00:09:09,123
Five bucks says that
you can't do that twice.

168
00:09:10,727 --> 00:09:11,447
You're on.

169
00:09:14,407 --> 00:09:15,708
Double or nothin'.

170
00:09:17,553 --> 00:09:18,983
So how's it going with Kylie?

171
00:09:20,494 --> 00:09:22,458
There was nothing exciting going on.

172
00:09:22,493 --> 00:09:25,614
This sucks. I need to look like a stud,
and a doctor can't look like a stud

173
00:09:25,615 --> 00:09:28,530
unless he's saving somebody's life.
I need someone to have a heart attack.

174
00:09:28,952 --> 00:09:30,548
Got 20 bucks?

175
00:09:32,112 --> 00:09:36,104
So, nurse Ghandirilla, I need you to
suction this guy, do a wet-to-dry

176
00:09:36,105 --> 00:09:40,434
dressing change, and, oh, what the hell,
go ahead and top him off with one of

177
00:09:40,435 --> 00:09:43,681
your special, special sponge baths,
happy ending optional--

178
00:09:43,682 --> 00:09:44,763
his choice, not yours.

179
00:09:44,798 --> 00:09:46,854
-The guy's in a coma.
-Not all of him.

180
00:09:48,405 --> 00:09:50,648
Not here, not here, not here...

181
00:09:50,683 --> 00:09:51,804
Danni!

182
00:09:52,867 --> 00:09:53,891
Hi!

183
00:09:53,926 --> 00:09:55,587
Oh, good!
You're here.

184
00:09:55,622 --> 00:09:59,753
Seeing as we're amigos now, I was
wondering if you could do me a solid.

185
00:09:59,754 --> 00:10:02,621
This bald, sad clown isn't
really much of a nurse,

186
00:10:02,622 --> 00:10:05,375
so could you go ahead and
keep an eye on him for me?

187
00:10:05,410 --> 00:10:06,959
Yeah, sure.
I'd love to.

188
00:10:08,980 --> 00:10:11,292
Hey, didn't I go to your wedding?

189
00:10:11,327 --> 00:10:13,604
Yeah. You threw up on my gran-gran.

190
00:10:14,122 --> 00:10:17,120
Hey!
You can't get inside my head.

191
00:10:17,554 --> 00:10:20,323
Hey--mentally strong!

192
00:10:23,328 --> 00:10:25,445
You can't smoke in here.

193
00:10:26,354 --> 00:10:27,885
I don't see any signs.

194
00:10:31,912 --> 00:10:34,170
So how much does he owe me, Barbarino?

195
00:10:35,614 --> 00:10:37,232
600 so far.

196
00:10:38,389 --> 00:10:40,711
Damn it, man.
You cannot afford this.

197
00:10:40,946 --> 00:10:44,813
Stop, stop, stop.

198
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:49,501
Come on, steve.
Stay with me, buddy!

199
00:10:49,536 --> 00:10:51,965
YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' THIS ONE YET, LORD!

200
00:10:52,532 --> 00:10:54,449
Could you make your face
a little bit redder, buddy? Come on.

201
00:10:54,484 --> 00:10:55,425
I want more money.

202
00:10:55,460 --> 00:10:57,319
-WHAT!?
-50 bucks or I tell the girl.

203
00:10:57,354 --> 00:10:58,731
-I don't have it!
-Get it!

204
00:10:59,170 --> 00:11:01,254
Elliot, I need another doctor
over here, stat!

205
00:11:03,130 --> 00:11:04,146
Gimme $30.

206
00:11:04,181 --> 00:11:05,624
I gave you 20. I'm tapped.

207
00:11:05,659 --> 00:11:07,032
Ask Johnson.
He's loaded.

208
00:11:07,067 --> 00:11:09,864
I need a dermatologist over here, stat!

209
00:11:09,899 --> 00:11:13,004
Oh, yeah!
Time to shine.

210
00:11:13,900 --> 00:11:16,254
What do you need?
Is it a rash?

211
00:11:16,289 --> 00:11:18,299
Look, I paid this guy
to fake a heart attack.

212
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:20,257
He wants 50 bucks.
We only have 20.

213
00:11:20,551 --> 00:11:23,113
You know, I feel like you guys
just use me for my money.

214
00:11:23,148 --> 00:11:25,102
You have a trust fund!
Now give me the money!

215
00:11:28,736 --> 00:11:29,569
CLEAR!

216
00:11:30,761 --> 00:11:31,859
I'm alive!

217
00:11:32,289 --> 00:11:34,631
J.D., One.
Lord, zero.

218
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:37,541
Just like that, love was in the air.

219
00:11:37,576 --> 00:11:40,976
It was as if our first date got other
people talking about some of theirs.

220
00:11:41,206 --> 00:11:43,755
I had this one first date where
the guy took me to play paintball.

221
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:45,881
All he does the whole time
is shoot me in the face.

222
00:11:46,301 --> 00:11:49,806
After two years with that guy,
I'm like, "that's enough!" You know?

223
00:11:49,841 --> 00:11:51,723
Ha ha! First dates, huh?

224
00:11:51,758 --> 00:11:53,605
Somebody give me 700 bucks.

225
00:11:54,487 --> 00:11:57,421
I went out with this girl. She was
like the worst first date ever.

226
00:11:57,456 --> 00:11:59,345
I take her for a romantic ferry ride,

227
00:11:59,346 --> 00:12:01,643
and for some reason,
I decide to take it out--

228
00:12:01,678 --> 00:12:03,203
Ok. Your turn is done.

229
00:12:03,238 --> 00:12:05,102
The worst first date I ever had was

230
00:12:05,103 --> 00:12:08,457
with this guy who took me to this
dump of a pizza parlor, right?

231
00:12:08,492 --> 00:12:12,375
You know what? Really don't
wanna hear about this one. Ok!

232
00:12:13,251 --> 00:12:16,948
And she didn't like the pizza I ordered
because it had anchovies on it.

233
00:12:16,949 --> 00:12:17,718
You believe that?

234
00:12:17,753 --> 00:12:19,551
It had anchovies.

235
00:12:19,586 --> 00:12:21,212
And pineapples.

236
00:12:21,247 --> 00:12:22,839
And pineapples?

237
00:12:24,105 --> 00:12:25,343
And red peppers.

238
00:12:26,202 --> 00:12:27,247
And green peppers.

239
00:12:28,224 --> 00:12:30,163
wait--red peppers.

240
00:12:30,198 --> 00:12:32,103
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!

241
00:12:32,637 --> 00:12:34,851
I could hear the pain in
my best friend's voice,

242
00:12:34,852 --> 00:12:36,477
and I could feel how little I cared...

243
00:12:36,512 --> 00:12:40,016
because by the way Kylie was looking
at me, I knew she thought I was sexy.

244
00:12:40,460 --> 00:12:45,484
You know something? Seeing you in
your element today, you seem so...

245
00:12:45,919 --> 00:12:46,999
Here it comes...

246
00:12:47,034 --> 00:12:48,100
Sexy!

247
00:12:48,135 --> 00:12:49,132
Genuine.

248
00:12:49,167 --> 00:12:51,677
She would have said sexy
if I had a moustache.

249
00:12:52,709 --> 00:12:56,288
You know, James lied all the time,
and I don't know...

250
00:12:56,323 --> 00:12:59,028
it's just nice to be
with a guy I can trust.

251
00:13:00,350 --> 00:13:01,690
Cool.

252
00:13:01,725 --> 00:13:03,030
Oh, no.

253
00:13:11,181 --> 00:13:12,595
I don't deserve this.

254
00:13:15,064 --> 00:13:16,882
I'm no better than
her lying ex-boyfriend.

255
00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,362
I paid a hobo to fake a heart attack.

256
00:13:18,678 --> 00:13:21,687
So you just tell her the truth,
she's mad at you for a little while,

257
00:13:21,688 --> 00:13:22,516
then she forgives ya.

258
00:13:22,845 --> 00:13:26,131
I see what you're saying.
There's no downside. Kylie!

259
00:13:28,164 --> 00:13:30,167
-You dated the devil!
-Turk!

260
00:13:30,202 --> 00:13:32,325
-And you lied to me.
-No, uh-uh! No.

261
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,428
You never asked me if I dated Dr Cox.

262
00:13:34,429 --> 00:13:37,166
You can ask me anything,
I would never lie to you.

263
00:13:38,076 --> 00:13:39,497
Do you sometimes wish I had hair?

264
00:13:40,084 --> 00:13:40,999
Yes.

265
00:13:41,034 --> 00:13:43,784
It's a nightmare. I'm standing
here living in a nightmare.

266
00:13:43,819 --> 00:13:46,112
Ok, maybe I'm guilty of
a lie of omission.

267
00:13:46,147 --> 00:13:47,500
'Cause you're a lie omitter!

268
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:50,246
I know this may be asking too much,
but could you please

269
00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:53,147
try and keep it together until
we can get home and talk about it?

270
00:13:53,182 --> 00:13:54,086
Fine.

271
00:13:54,121 --> 00:13:54,921
Thank you.

272
00:13:55,482 --> 00:13:57,333
Carla, I like your hair that way.

273
00:14:03,745 --> 00:14:04,516
Laverne,

274
00:14:04,617 --> 00:14:10,453
I bet you're tempted to break open
that face cake and just tear it apart.

275
00:14:10,488 --> 00:14:12,658
No one's touching this.

276
00:14:12,693 --> 00:14:13,943
Oh, I don't care.

277
00:14:13,978 --> 00:14:15,193
I'm not even hungry.

278
00:14:15,900 --> 00:14:19,602
Dr. Kelso, I don't have $700.

279
00:14:21,986 --> 00:14:24,103
That actually sounded like
the word cake.

280
00:14:24,138 --> 00:14:28,987
You get me that damn face cake,
and you are free and clear.

281
00:14:34,283 --> 00:14:35,651
Hi, Glenn.

282
00:14:36,584 --> 00:14:37,791
-Hey!
-Hey!

283
00:14:37,826 --> 00:14:39,284
-I'm Glenn!
-I'm Glenn!

284
00:14:40,042 --> 00:14:43,640
Look, let's not go down
that road again. Come on.

285
00:14:44,336 --> 00:14:45,716
Shake.

286
00:14:53,639 --> 00:14:55,774
Ok, it's time to come clean.

287
00:14:56,606 --> 00:14:59,106
Kylie, I brought you here because
I wanted to tell you--

288
00:14:59,319 --> 00:15:01,408
Say I'm Glenn!

289
00:15:02,473 --> 00:15:03,886
That's peculiar.

290
00:15:03,921 --> 00:15:05,743
Anyway, what I really
wanted to say was--

291
00:15:05,778 --> 00:15:08,335
JD, JD, look at me!

292
00:15:11,160 --> 00:15:14,647
Ugh! That's exactly the kind of girl
my ex-boyfriend would have dated.

293
00:15:14,682 --> 00:15:15,743
I barely know her.

294
00:15:15,778 --> 00:15:17,614
And the lies begin again.

295
00:15:17,649 --> 00:15:19,127
I certainly would never sleep with her.

296
00:15:19,162 --> 00:15:22,023
That's it-- you're stronger
than this. Not another lie!

297
00:15:22,058 --> 00:15:23,632
I race motorcycles.

298
00:15:24,699 --> 00:15:25,886
Excuse me.

299
00:15:27,401 --> 00:15:28,607
What the hell are you doing?

300
00:15:28,642 --> 00:15:29,502
I need more cash.

301
00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:30,411
For what?

302
00:15:30,631 --> 00:15:32,112
I'm puttin' DSL in my box.

303
00:15:32,147 --> 00:15:34,187
Fine! But know this--

304
00:15:34,222 --> 00:15:37,313
you've been nothing but a disappointment
to me since the moment I ran over you.

305
00:15:41,981 --> 00:15:42,784
Hey, baby.

306
00:15:43,439 --> 00:15:44,457
Keep it together.

307
00:15:44,492 --> 00:15:47,161
Do you remember that quarantine
we had seven years ago?

308
00:15:47,687 --> 00:15:49,235
It was just you and me,

309
00:15:49,270 --> 00:15:52,205
all alone, late at night in the ICU.

310
00:15:52,946 --> 00:15:54,555
That's it.

311
00:15:54,590 --> 00:15:55,459
Turk!

312
00:15:57,473 --> 00:15:58,573
You really had to do that?

313
00:15:58,608 --> 00:16:01,716
Come on. If he wasn't such a jealous
baby, it wouldn't be such a big deal.

314
00:16:01,751 --> 00:16:05,270
Give him a break! What if you found out
Jordan had a history with somebody here?

315
00:16:05,541 --> 00:16:07,033
Oh, fair enough.

316
00:16:07,068 --> 00:16:08,526
Uh, hey, everyone--

317
00:16:08,914 --> 00:16:12,855
In the brief 18 months that
Jordan and I weren't together,

318
00:16:12,890 --> 00:16:14,658
how many of you had your way with her?

319
00:16:16,226 --> 00:16:20,799
Bear in mind, I'm gonna need absolute
honesty here or I will brain you.

320
00:16:22,908 --> 00:16:27,664
Anyway, whoever taught jordan
that reverse cowgirl position...

321
00:16:28,527 --> 00:16:30,434
it was long overdue, but thank you.

322
00:16:30,665 --> 00:16:32,309
You're welcome.

323
00:16:33,422 --> 00:16:34,933
You're a freak.

324
00:16:41,102 --> 00:16:43,031
Who ate my face fake?

325
00:16:44,219 --> 00:16:45,356
He did.

326
00:16:47,618 --> 00:16:50,070
$700.

327
00:16:52,427 --> 00:16:53,836
Wow, he is really out.

328
00:16:53,871 --> 00:16:56,880
A mild sedative fell into his juice box.

329
00:16:57,172 --> 00:17:00,240
Look, J.D... I know why
you're lying about everything.

330
00:17:00,275 --> 00:17:01,997
You don't think you're
good enough for Kylie.

331
00:17:02,032 --> 00:17:04,132
You've always had
this insecure thing

332
00:17:04,133 --> 00:17:06,914
even though you're this
funny, weird, amazing guy.

333
00:17:07,782 --> 00:17:11,745
I mean... that's why I fell in love with
you, and I'm betting if you just

334
00:17:11,746 --> 00:17:13,513
act like yourself, Kylie will, too.

335
00:17:14,416 --> 00:17:16,713
Thanks, Elliot.
Really.

336
00:17:16,748 --> 00:17:18,044
But that's a load of crap,

337
00:17:18,045 --> 00:17:20,586
because nobody is themselves
when they start dating.

338
00:17:21,115 --> 00:17:23,318
Dating is just acting like
you're somebody you're not

339
00:17:23,319 --> 00:17:26,214
until the person likes you enough so
you can show them who you really are.

340
00:17:26,570 --> 00:17:27,735
No, it's not.

341
00:17:27,770 --> 00:17:30,168
What do you call that bra you
wore for your date last week?

342
00:17:30,399 --> 00:17:32,315
Oh, the miracle lift super push-up bra.

343
00:17:32,596 --> 00:17:34,392
But not everyone's as insecure as me.

344
00:17:34,427 --> 00:17:36,287
Carla, when you first
started dating Turk,

345
00:17:36,288 --> 00:17:39,099
didn't you tell him you loved watching
nba basketball every weekend?

346
00:17:39,494 --> 00:17:40,305
Yeah.

347
00:17:40,340 --> 00:17:42,451
And how many games have you
watched since he proposed?

348
00:17:43,027 --> 00:17:43,851
One.

349
00:17:43,886 --> 00:17:46,040
But only because that time
he made me choose

350
00:17:46,041 --> 00:17:47,906
between watching basketball
or having sex.

351
00:17:49,741 --> 00:17:51,015
Exactly.

352
00:17:51,050 --> 00:17:54,379
As soon as I get out of here, I'm gonna
treat Kylie better than anyone ever has.

353
00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:55,941
I just gotta make it
through tonight, ok?

354
00:17:56,501 --> 00:18:00,531
Keep an eye on the bum's vitals. I gave
him enough sedative to put down a rhino.

355
00:18:04,987 --> 00:18:08,110
I don't understand why Carla
didn't tell me about you guys.

356
00:18:09,982 --> 00:18:12,576
Maybe it's because she's
really in love with me

357
00:18:12,611 --> 00:18:15,868
and together, we injected you
with diabetes to very slowly

358
00:18:15,869 --> 00:18:17,248
get you out of the picture.

359
00:18:17,283 --> 00:18:21,464
Or maybe it's because
I really liked her

360
00:18:21,499 --> 00:18:24,305
but she didn't exactly feel
the same way about me,

361
00:18:24,306 --> 00:18:27,878
and I got the forehead kiss after
spending 90 stinking dollars on

362
00:18:27,879 --> 00:18:31,072
theater tickets. Or maybe--
and this is a huge outside maybe--

363
00:18:31,628 --> 00:18:32,624
maybe she knows

364
00:18:32,625 --> 00:18:37,738
you're the kind of person who freaks
out over irrelevant things from the past.

365
00:18:38,862 --> 00:18:41,195
Personally, I hope it's all three.

366
00:18:43,585 --> 00:18:46,612
They say all horrible things
eventually come to an end.

367
00:18:50,021 --> 00:18:53,160
The lab results are back,
and there is no sars.

368
00:18:53,195 --> 00:18:54,816
The quarantine is over.

369
00:18:54,851 --> 00:18:56,437
So, bye-bye, everyone.

370
00:18:59,109 --> 00:19:01,410
That looks like my neck!

371
00:19:11,961 --> 00:19:14,491
Oh, this does not end well for you.

372
00:19:14,688 --> 00:19:16,560
Thanks for the heads up, jumpsuit.

373
00:19:17,429 --> 00:19:21,107
You are going to pay every
cent of that $700.

374
00:19:28,509 --> 00:19:29,934
Double or nothin'!

375
00:19:41,534 --> 00:19:43,952
We're even.
Good night, sir.

376
00:19:45,681 --> 00:19:48,878
Dr. Kelso made me realize that
lies come back to haunt you--

377
00:19:48,913 --> 00:19:51,061
even little ones about cake.

378
00:19:52,039 --> 00:19:54,965
Heck, even a lie of omission
shook the foundation of a couple

379
00:19:54,966 --> 00:19:57,136
that was much more
established than Kylie and me.

380
00:19:58,905 --> 00:20:01,208
And I knew I couldn't
let her go out that door.

381
00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,249
Let's go.

382
00:20:03,020 --> 00:20:03,979
Kylie, wait.

383
00:20:04,845 --> 00:20:09,797
I paid Steve 50 bucks and an IOU
for another 120 to fake a heart attack.

384
00:20:10,858 --> 00:20:12,898
I really wanted tonight to go well.

385
00:20:13,402 --> 00:20:14,728
Is there anything else?

386
00:20:16,445 --> 00:20:17,752
Adios, assface.

387
00:20:18,145 --> 00:20:20,125
I had sex with her.

388
00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:21,514
A lot.

389
00:20:22,890 --> 00:20:24,339
Why are you telling me this?

390
00:20:24,374 --> 00:20:28,178
If I don't come clean now, whether it's
a few weeks or months or years from now,

391
00:20:28,179 --> 00:20:31,559
I know it's gonna come back to haunt
me and ruin us, and I don't want that.

392
00:20:33,479 --> 00:20:36,026
I'm not looking for a project.

393
00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,186
Yeah. I understand.

394
00:20:40,482 --> 00:20:42,753
So get it together.

395
00:20:42,975 --> 00:20:45,213
Now let's go get some coffee.

396
00:20:45,486 --> 00:20:49,039
Wait. You know, if we-
if we leave like that,

397
00:20:49,074 --> 00:20:51,263
that's how you're always gonna
remember this night. I don't want that.

398
00:20:51,298 --> 00:20:54,384
So...what do you want to do?

399
00:20:55,305 --> 00:21:01,173
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