1
00:00:02,705 --> 00:00:05,415
You never know who you're
gonna find in the cafeteria at 5AM.

2
00:00:05,673 --> 00:00:07,818
It could be the husband
who asked his wife

3
00:00:07,819 --> 00:00:11,036
after 36 hours of labour if
the screaming was really necessary.

4
00:00:11,180 --> 00:00:15,158
Or the intern that has been on call so many
nights in a raw she's actually alucinating.

5
00:00:15,594 --> 00:00:17,796
Hi, I'd like two tickets to
"Million dollar baby".

6
00:00:19,350 --> 00:00:21,878
Or your best friends
who have found time between shifts

7
00:00:21,913 --> 00:00:23,374
to discuss their
marital troubles.

8
00:00:24,175 --> 00:00:26,624
Why can't Carla just let this go?

9
00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:29,099
Wouldn't you be mad if you caught your
husband talking to his ex girlfriend?

10
00:00:29,134 --> 00:00:31,867
Yeah, but mostly because
I had a husband.

11
00:00:32,268 --> 00:00:34,579
I'm gonna stay at Elliot's
for a few more days.

12
00:00:35,014 --> 00:00:36,971
Yeah, I figured as much.

13
00:00:37,567 --> 00:00:38,955
I brought you some things.

14
00:00:39,004 --> 00:00:41,386
Your Slippers.

15
00:00:42,294 --> 00:00:43,905
And...

16
00:00:44,941 --> 00:00:49,324
Remember that note you put on
the toilet to remind me to sit down?

17
00:00:49,921 --> 00:00:51,806
Looking at it was making me sad.

18
00:00:52,365 --> 00:00:55,851
I wrote this the first time I forgot
to look down and fractured my tail bone.

19
00:00:56,118 --> 00:00:58,092
- You had a lot of pain.
- Yeah.

20
00:00:59,768 --> 00:01:01,054
Keep it together baby.

21
00:01:01,234 --> 00:01:03,697
We'll have brunch on sunday
and we will see where we're at.

22
00:01:03,891 --> 00:01:07,972
I wanna be where you're at while we're
trying to figure out where we're at.

23
00:01:09,878 --> 00:01:11,015
Think they work out?

24
00:01:12,628 --> 00:01:14,472
The movie's about to start.

25
00:01:15,310 --> 00:01:16,719
Go home, Cathie.

26
00:01:16,978 --> 00:01:19,449
Where did she get popcorn?

27
00:01:21,122 --> 00:01:22,853
Maybe it's because
we're best friends,

28
00:01:22,854 --> 00:01:25,176
but I had a sneaky feeling
that Turk was depressed.

29
00:01:26,746 --> 00:01:28,615
I should call her.

30
00:01:28,650 --> 00:01:32,711
Turk, you're not gonna believe this,
but I don't know a lot about women.

31
00:01:33,598 --> 00:01:35,142
No, it's true.

32
00:01:35,177 --> 00:01:37,641
But one thing I do know is
when a woman wants her space,

33
00:01:37,676 --> 00:01:41,439
you give her her space.
My 6th grade girlfriend taught me that.

34
00:01:41,701 --> 00:01:43,667
No Olivia, I won't
leave you alone

35
00:01:43,668 --> 00:01:46,443
until you explain
why you ignored me on the bus.

36
00:01:50,182 --> 00:01:51,695
I hope she's dead.

37
00:01:51,884 --> 00:01:55,706
The point is in the meantime it's important
you don't spiral into depression, okay?

38
00:01:55,707 --> 00:01:58,699
So I'm taking you to a carnival
downtown tonight. What do you say?

39
00:01:59,068 --> 00:02:01,626
Dude, I can't go to a carnival,
it reminds me of Carla.

40
00:02:01,661 --> 00:02:02,470
Why?

41
00:02:02,505 --> 00:02:04,115
Dude, CARNIVAL.

42
00:02:04,150 --> 00:02:09,003
Remove the NIV, switch the A and L
and you get Carla.

43
00:02:16,694 --> 00:02:19,011
Oh my god,
he's right.

44
00:02:20,674 --> 00:02:22,948
Thank you so much
for let me stay here, Elliot.

45
00:02:23,107 --> 00:02:24,203
Please.

46
00:02:24,555 --> 00:02:26,565
And I still have
only one rule.

47
00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:29,003
I cannot talk or be talked to
while I'm on the toilet,

48
00:02:29,004 --> 00:02:32,117
and I also cannot talk or be talked to
by someone who's on the toilet.

49
00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:34,408
You told me yesterday, Elliot.
I get it.

50
00:02:34,794 --> 00:02:36,007
You say you get it and yet

51
00:02:36,008 --> 00:02:39,038
you still manage to knock this morning
and ask if I wanted cofee.

52
00:02:39,168 --> 00:02:40,653
Oh, I just thought that--

53
00:02:41,758 --> 00:02:44,834
Pretend that never happened
or I won't poo again for two months.

54
00:02:45,637 --> 00:02:48,039
God, this sucks!

55
00:02:48,203 --> 00:02:49,292
I hate march.

56
00:02:49,327 --> 00:02:51,938
You realise two years ago,
this sunday my mum died?

57
00:02:51,973 --> 00:02:54,905
Plus, last march you got
that hideous haircut. Remember?

58
00:02:55,728 --> 00:02:59,971
Look, Carla, if it makes you feel any better,
I'm sure Turk's just as miserable.

59
00:03:01,924 --> 00:03:03,897
Okay, stop, stop stop stop.

60
00:03:04,071 --> 00:03:05,893
My tummy is starting to rumble.

61
00:03:06,654 --> 00:03:08,553
Faster!

62
00:03:11,670 --> 00:03:13,602
Oh, I'm gonna hurl!

63
00:03:17,293 --> 00:03:20,516
Subtitles by
nColas, Lilik, Sulina and Eyedol

64
00:03:20,551 --> 00:03:23,895
Scrubs episode 4x20
My Boss's Free Haircut

65
00:03:23,930 --> 00:03:26,804
www.forom.com

66
00:03:27,587 --> 00:03:29,725
You see a lot of sad things
in a hospital.

67
00:03:29,760 --> 00:03:32,192
But nothing's quite
as sad as a dermatologist

68
00:03:32,227 --> 00:03:34,824
that has just been paged
milking it for all it's worth.

69
00:03:34,858 --> 00:03:36,926
Alright everybody,
watch your backs.

70
00:03:36,961 --> 00:03:40,257
Skin doctor coming through.
I gotta get somewhere.

71
00:03:42,511 --> 00:03:43,765
You called for a consult?

72
00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:46,646
Mr Warner, do you see what
you've made me do

73
00:03:46,681 --> 00:03:49,520
by once again choosing
to spend all of your free time

74
00:03:49,521 --> 00:03:52,828
out on  the surface of the sun,
until melanoma has developed.

75
00:03:52,863 --> 00:03:56,152
You've forced me to pull the
attending dermatologist away from

76
00:03:56,153 --> 00:04:00,468
his batne seminar and validate
his most ridiculous of career choices.

77
00:04:01,931 --> 00:04:02,887
Oh god.

78
00:04:02,922 --> 00:04:04,570
I just wanted to look good.

79
00:04:04,605 --> 00:04:08,293
You my friend, look so damned
leathery I'm honestly tempted

80
00:04:08,328 --> 00:04:10,864
to wrap you around a baseball,
cinch you up with a belt

81
00:04:10,865 --> 00:04:12,525
and stick you on
my mattress so that

82
00:04:12,526 --> 00:04:14,968
you're good and broken in
for the big game on sunday.

83
00:04:15,003 --> 00:04:17,643
But, since I'm here to heal,
not judge,

84
00:04:17,678 --> 00:04:20,833
I'm gonna go ahead and write you
a couple of prescriptions.

85
00:04:21,089 --> 00:04:24,542
Now find that this first one
is for an extra large mallet

86
00:04:24,543 --> 00:04:27,025
to help you pound
some sense of yourself.

87
00:04:27,060 --> 00:04:30,028
The second one is for
a big floppy hat

88
00:04:30,063 --> 00:04:33,410
that you're now to wear
every single time you leave the house.

89
00:04:34,045 --> 00:04:36,755
Have a great day.
You look like a purse.

90
00:04:36,790 --> 00:04:38,432
Perry, a word.

91
00:04:42,239 --> 00:04:44,671
Your skin's all messed-up.

92
00:04:44,830 --> 00:04:49,275
Perry, I am sick and tired of listening
to people complain about being called

93
00:04:49,276 --> 00:04:53,951
fatties, dummies, boozers, loosers, winos,
tobos, talkers, smockers and jomokers.

94
00:04:54,174 --> 00:04:55,894
Whatever the hell jomokers means.

95
00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:58,736
I was actually saying jockers and
had a cought cake cake in my mouth.

96
00:04:58,771 --> 00:05:00,593
Botton line,
unlike my masseuse Freedy,

97
00:05:00,594 --> 00:05:03,974
you're not pretty enough to be this rough.
Work on your bedside manner.

98
00:05:04,009 --> 00:05:04,751
Say, Bobbo,

99
00:05:04,752 --> 00:05:08,325
when exactly was the last time
you treated a patient?

100
00:05:09,363 --> 00:05:10,947
Now, you listen to me, Bettie.

101
00:05:11,127 --> 00:05:13,850
No mater how long it takes,
we're gonna get through this.

102
00:05:13,885 --> 00:05:17,064
Congratulations Bob, they just
named you chief of medecine.

103
00:05:17,170 --> 00:05:20,070
Bingo!
Smell you later, Betty

104
00:05:21,528 --> 00:05:24,625
Fine, you want me to take a patient,
I'll take a patient.

105
00:05:24,660 --> 00:05:28,158
The Bobbotron is actually gonna try
to connect with an other human being.

106
00:05:29,003 --> 00:05:31,179
This is so on.

107
00:05:31,252 --> 00:05:33,209
- Guys, it's so on.
- Awesome

108
00:05:33,214 --> 00:05:35,520
- What's so on?
- Who cares, he refered to me as a guy.

109
00:05:35,561 --> 00:05:37,168
Dude, we stayed up too late.

110
00:05:37,203 --> 00:05:40,484
It was our first annual interratial
buddy movie night, we had to.

111
00:05:40,498 --> 00:05:42,126
You know, I'm still
pissed that you thought

112
00:05:42,127 --> 00:05:43,770
Turner & Hooch was
an interracial buddy movie.

113
00:05:43,805 --> 00:05:46,055
I didn't know it was
Tom Hanks and a dog, okay?

114
00:05:46,218 --> 00:05:48,168
Don't paint me as a racist
just because

115
00:05:48,169 --> 00:05:50,568
I thought black guy when
I heard the name Hooch.

116
00:05:50,903 --> 00:05:52,205
Yeah, J.D., what's up?

117
00:05:52,313 --> 00:05:55,001
Oh, sorry, Hooch, we were just...
talking about the movie.

118
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,616
No biggie, happends all the time.

119
00:06:00,353 --> 00:06:02,535
Ok, so it was an honest mistake.

120
00:06:03,357 --> 00:06:04,589
Gotta go.

121
00:06:06,222 --> 00:06:07,258
Too hard.

122
00:06:07,293 --> 00:06:09,320
What is going up with Turk?
He doesn't even seem bummed out.

123
00:06:09,377 --> 00:06:11,459
I uplifted his spirits.

124
00:06:11,494 --> 00:06:14,091
How did you do that? Because Carla
is just bottom and out, man.

125
00:06:14,092 --> 00:06:15,829
I mean, I'm not even supposed
to be here at work today.

126
00:06:15,864 --> 00:06:18,943
I just came to use bathroom because
she keeps violating the rule.

127
00:06:19,123 --> 00:06:20,195
Quiet on the crapper?

128
00:06:21,101 --> 00:06:23,913
I think she just stores everything up
until my cheek's at the seat.

129
00:06:24,284 --> 00:06:26,236
She thinks she's exempted from the rule.

130
00:06:26,938 --> 00:06:29,897
Nobody is exempted from the rule, J.D.

131
00:06:29,932 --> 00:06:33,870
Okay, it's okay.
I'll never talk to you on the crapper.

132
00:06:34,073 --> 00:06:36,465
I can't afford to
soundproof my bathroom.

133
00:06:36,474 --> 00:06:38,550
Listen,
the way I cheered-up Turk,

134
00:06:38,585 --> 00:06:39,852
I made it all about him.

135
00:06:40,015 --> 00:06:42,991
Find some way to
lift Carla's spirits up.

136
00:06:46,755 --> 00:06:48,294
Surprise!

137
00:06:48,756 --> 00:06:49,522
What's going on?

138
00:06:49,523 --> 00:06:51,436
We are going to celebrate
your mom's death.

139
00:06:51,611 --> 00:06:52,675
I mean your mom's life.

140
00:06:52,676 --> 00:06:54,663
We're gonna celebrate
your dead mom's life.

141
00:06:56,102 --> 00:06:57,717
I even got a cake.

142
00:06:59,019 --> 00:07:01,252
Does it say "dead" anywhere on it?

143
00:07:03,404 --> 00:07:04,962
Not anymore.

144
00:07:07,555 --> 00:07:09,581
Junior, I don't know what
you're doing in my area,

145
00:07:09,582 --> 00:07:11,405
but you better be
looking  for some bandages,

146
00:07:11,406 --> 00:07:13,715
cause you're gonna need them
when I get through with you.

147
00:07:13,996 --> 00:07:15,929
Dr. Kelso.

148
00:07:15,931 --> 00:07:17,778
I didn't recognise you in scrubs.

149
00:07:17,813 --> 00:07:19,085
That's okay, Laverne.

150
00:07:19,086 --> 00:07:22,882
I didn't recognise you without
your mini TV and your feed-up.

151
00:07:25,984 --> 00:07:27,758
Real nice outfit there, Bobbo.

152
00:07:27,793 --> 00:07:30,022
Perry, you just go right ahead
and say what you want,

153
00:07:30,057 --> 00:07:34,142
because Dr. Bob Kelso is back in action
and he hasn't missed a step.

154
00:07:34,143 --> 00:07:36,184
Now, where do we keep sick people?

155
00:07:36,427 --> 00:07:39,189
Hello Miss Goldman, I'm your doctor.

156
00:07:39,379 --> 00:07:42,818
Don't you mean my doctor's
great-great-great-grand-father?

157
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:46,435
- You're old.
- Yeah, I got that.

158
00:07:48,864 --> 00:07:49,927
Hey friend!

159
00:07:49,962 --> 00:07:51,959
I switched shift so
we could hang out tonight.

160
00:07:52,165 --> 00:07:53,413
Hell yeah.

161
00:07:53,585 --> 00:07:54,806
There's no beer in the fridge.

162
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:57,452
You know, we're gonna have to
make a stop and pick up some Hooch.

163
00:07:57,487 --> 00:07:58,258
Yeah, Turk?

164
00:07:58,661 --> 00:08:01,181
Sorry man, I was talking about the beer.

165
00:08:01,774 --> 00:08:04,137
- There's no problem buddy.
- All right!

166
00:08:04,328 --> 00:08:07,410
Just seems like you could have said...
"beer".

167
00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:09,950
Yeah, it's much more a common word.

168
00:08:09,985 --> 00:08:12,962
My bad.
Won't happend again.

169
00:08:13,612 --> 00:08:15,627
"Won't happend again."

170
00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,496
- You knew he was there, didn't you?
- I couldn't help myself.

171
00:08:21,179 --> 00:08:23,371
It's weird, I mean, I want
his marriage to work out,

172
00:08:23,372 --> 00:08:25,395
but it's nice  to have
Turk all to myself again.

173
00:08:26,938 --> 00:08:27,926
It's weird, I mean,

174
00:08:27,927 --> 00:08:31,203
I want to follow him down the hall
and crack him over the head, but

175
00:08:31,204 --> 00:08:34,946
I'm so drunk right now, I know I'll
collapse if I even move an inch.

176
00:08:36,176 --> 00:08:38,010
... and I am not kidding you.

177
00:08:38,171 --> 00:08:41,264
My mom turns to the
guidance counselor, and she says :

178
00:08:47,326 --> 00:08:48,414
You understood that?

179
00:08:48,449 --> 00:08:50,976
No, but I know when I'm
supposed to laugh in any language.

180
00:08:51,174 --> 00:08:52,220
Okay,

181
00:08:52,403 --> 00:08:55,789
you know I was sceptical, but it's been
kind of nice reminiscing about my mom.

182
00:08:55,986 --> 00:08:58,176
It's about to get a whole lot nicer.

183
00:08:59,703 --> 00:09:04,421
Hi, sweetie, it's mom. I just
call to tell you how much I love you.

184
00:09:04,456 --> 00:09:05,764
Oh my god.

185
00:09:05,775 --> 00:09:07,648
It's J.D's old answearing machine.

186
00:09:07,683 --> 00:09:11,771
Hi Carla, I sure wish you
would call me once in a while.

187
00:09:12,500 --> 00:09:13,697
Hadn't heard that one.

188
00:09:14,943 --> 00:09:17,079
So... what other stories
do you have about your mom?

189
00:09:17,805 --> 00:09:19,787
- Carla, it's me again.
- Crap, there's batteries.

190
00:09:19,937 --> 00:09:23,174
It seems you never have time
for me anymore. Carla?

191
00:09:30,556 --> 00:09:35,004
What we are dealing with are venostasis
ulceres, most likely because of your weight.

192
00:09:35,166 --> 00:09:37,466
Waouh, you figured out
that I'm fat.

193
00:09:37,501 --> 00:09:40,771
You're either a brillant doctor, or
every guy I've ever gone highscool with.

194
00:09:40,806 --> 00:09:41,755
Okay, moving on.

195
00:09:41,756 --> 00:09:46,974
From the numbers I'm seeing on your fast and
glucose and tryglicerines, I'm suspecting--

196
00:09:46,987 --> 00:09:49,179
- Metabolic syndrome?
- Yes.

197
00:09:49,214 --> 00:09:51,793
Now, this condition is not that rare.

198
00:09:51,828 --> 00:09:53,177
One in five people have it.

199
00:09:53,178 --> 00:09:54,781
Stop doing that!

200
00:09:54,816 --> 00:09:58,517
Why am I paying you to tell me things
I've already figured out on my own?

201
00:09:58,552 --> 00:10:03,735
Maybe because I graduated first
in my class at Stanford in 1972?

202
00:10:04,268 --> 00:10:07,738
You graduated twelfth
of your class in 1968.

203
00:10:07,973 --> 00:10:09,736
She googled your ass.

204
00:10:09,771 --> 00:10:12,177
Laverne, I am not interessed in
your street lingo.

205
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:14,298
What I am interrested in
is where she found

206
00:10:14,299 --> 00:10:17,109
that magic phone that keeps
making me look like an idiot.

207
00:10:19,261 --> 00:10:22,581
Last summer, Turk and I where forced
to choose between helping to stem

208
00:10:22,582 --> 00:10:26,138
an Hepatitis C outbreak in the inner city
or going to a bartending school.

209
00:10:26,173 --> 00:10:28,228
I've always felt we did the right thing.

210
00:10:28,263 --> 00:10:30,759
Especially since I knew Turk
needed to blow off some steam

211
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:32,636
before his big meeting
with Carla tomorrow.

212
00:10:33,500 --> 00:10:36,698
All right everybody, we your guest
bartenders will be here all night.

213
00:10:36,733 --> 00:10:37,407
Oh, you know what?

214
00:10:37,408 --> 00:10:38,569
Actually, I'm gonna
go home and

215
00:10:38,570 --> 00:10:41,003
put some thoughs in what I'm gonna
say to Carla tomorrow morning.

216
00:10:41,038 --> 00:10:43,460
I knew I was being selfish,
but I couldn't help it.

217
00:10:43,461 --> 00:10:44,553
It was our last hurrah.

218
00:10:45,536 --> 00:10:48,608
Turk, you know Carla likes it when
you speak from your heart.

219
00:10:48,643 --> 00:10:50,946
Improuve that, dawg!

220
00:10:51,893 --> 00:10:54,136
Stay here and drink.
For Carla!

221
00:10:54,171 --> 00:10:56,304
- Oh, since we're doing it for Carla.
- Carla!

222
00:10:56,339 --> 00:10:57,920
Let's do that!

223
00:10:58,304 --> 00:11:02,015
My barber told me once  "it's important
to finish what you've started".

224
00:11:03,872 --> 00:11:07,757
Of course sometimes, what you've started
was clearly the worst idea in the world.

225
00:11:08,208 --> 00:11:10,098
Wasn't this kind of fun?

226
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:13,521
It stopped.

227
00:11:14,279 --> 00:11:16,475
Other times, it's a lot harder
than you thought.

228
00:11:17,827 --> 00:11:21,438
Damn it, young lady, let me in,
this is my hospital.

229
00:11:22,470 --> 00:11:23,857
Hey, Bob?

230
00:11:23,888 --> 00:11:25,986
What's shaking in "patient's ville"

231
00:11:26,473 --> 00:11:29,952
Just trying to keep myself from
spending all day in there with her.

232
00:11:29,987 --> 00:11:32,490
- Such a doll.
- Yeah!

233
00:11:34,909 --> 00:11:37,743
Still, even if you end up with a
hangover that would slay a walrus,

234
00:11:37,744 --> 00:11:38,505
it's all worth it.

235
00:11:38,506 --> 00:11:40,616
Especially when you know
that at this very moment,

236
00:11:40,617 --> 00:11:42,769
your best friend is at brunch,
saving his marriage.

237
00:11:44,383 --> 00:11:45,517
What time is it?

238
00:11:46,422 --> 00:11:47,842
Or he missed it.

239
00:11:53,612 --> 00:11:56,212
This was my fault,
so I was determined to fix it.

240
00:11:56,247 --> 00:11:57,360
Still, I needed Elliot's help.

241
00:11:57,395 --> 00:11:59,497
So I decided to break the ice first.

242
00:11:59,981 --> 00:12:01,785
Hey, Elliot, do me a favour.

243
00:12:01,976 --> 00:12:03,569
What do you mean, "say Hooch"?

244
00:12:03,604 --> 00:12:06,204
Oh my God, what?
I'm a little busy.

245
00:12:06,789 --> 00:12:09,079
I'm sorry, I'm not really sure
what's happening right now.

246
00:12:09,114 --> 00:12:10,462
Well of course you're not.

247
00:12:10,497 --> 00:12:13,770
Because in your head,
it's all about you, isn't it?

248
00:12:13,771 --> 00:12:18,199
Well no more. Say Hooch again,
it will be the last thing you ever say.

249
00:12:21,449 --> 00:12:24,867
He was mad, wasn't he?
Hooch is crasy.

250
00:12:24,902 --> 00:12:27,117
Listen, tell Carla
it's my fault because

251
00:12:27,118 --> 00:12:29,499
I kept Turk out all night
and he overslept.

252
00:12:29,534 --> 00:12:30,539
It was J.D.'s fault.

253
00:12:30,574 --> 00:12:32,010
How come Turk hasn't called me?

254
00:12:32,045 --> 00:12:33,145
Why hasn't Turk called her?

255
00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:34,359
I wanted to fix it.

256
00:12:34,394 --> 00:12:35,838
He wanted to fix it.

257
00:12:36,459 --> 00:12:38,696
Ask Betty why he's such a girly girl.

258
00:12:38,731 --> 00:12:40,521
- Not now.
- Do it now, do it now.

259
00:12:40,556 --> 00:12:41,619
Call her Betty.

260
00:12:41,654 --> 00:12:44,166
- You're insane.
- Betty, Betty, Betty, Betty, Betty.

261
00:12:44,929 --> 00:12:46,148
- Betty?
- Yeah.

262
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:47,561
Oh, my god, it worked!

263
00:12:48,392 --> 00:12:50,251
Ask J.D. when Turk
wants to get together.

264
00:12:50,286 --> 00:12:52,128
When does Turk want to get together?

265
00:12:52,195 --> 00:12:53,564
Look, I'm so sorry about last night,

266
00:12:53,565 --> 00:12:55,505
but I already explained
to Carla how you overslept.

267
00:12:55,506 --> 00:12:57,292
Now she wants to know
when you want to meet up.

268
00:12:57,408 --> 00:12:59,250
I didn't oversleep, I....

269
00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:01,102
decided not to go.

270
00:13:07,441 --> 00:13:09,758
I don't know how she jammed this.

271
00:13:09,793 --> 00:13:11,206
Can you open that door?

272
00:13:11,482 --> 00:13:14,026
Ok, you made it up here
without passing out or vomiting,

273
00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:16,019
now just calmly and
eleguantly explain

274
00:13:16,020 --> 00:13:18,705
that you can't open the door right now,
and he'll be on his way.

275
00:13:19,062 --> 00:13:20,656
You open the door?

276
00:13:20,837 --> 00:13:21,892
Well done.

277
00:13:21,927 --> 00:13:23,494
Are you mocking me?

278
00:13:25,439 --> 00:13:27,785
Gimme this damned screw driver.

279
00:13:33,673 --> 00:13:35,178
Hello young lady.

280
00:13:35,213 --> 00:13:37,853
I went ahead and set up an appointment
for you with our nutritionist.

281
00:13:37,888 --> 00:13:40,360
She's going to help you
create a diet and exercice plan

282
00:13:40,361 --> 00:13:42,203
so I never have to see
you in here again.

283
00:13:42,408 --> 00:13:45,056
Yeah, I'm having a gastric bypass

284
00:13:45,279 --> 00:13:48,232
But, Mrs Goldman, you're only 25.

285
00:13:48,425 --> 00:13:53,369
And considering that any serious surgery
has inherent risks, I really don't think--

286
00:13:53,565 --> 00:13:55,145
How are you not getting this?

287
00:13:55,180 --> 00:13:58,162
I don't care what you think.

288
00:14:00,076 --> 00:14:01,119
Carla,

289
00:14:01,254 --> 00:14:03,432
I am so sorry about those
messages from your mother,

290
00:14:03,433 --> 00:14:04,772
but I'm gonna
make it up to you.

291
00:14:04,807 --> 00:14:06,235
It's okay, Elliot.

292
00:14:06,270 --> 00:14:08,866
It was really nice hearing
my mom's voice again.

293
00:14:08,901 --> 00:14:10,259
I just--

294
00:14:10,619 --> 00:14:13,371
I wish I could talk to her about
everything's that's going on.

295
00:14:18,568 --> 00:14:21,417
You know, I'm really not comfortable
with this kind of stuff.

296
00:14:21,657 --> 00:14:24,279
Carla, you can totally talk
to people once they're gone.

297
00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:26,573
I used to talk to
our maid Consuela all the time.

298
00:14:26,608 --> 00:14:28,127
When did she die?

299
00:14:28,493 --> 00:14:29,808
When I was 11.

300
00:14:30,315 --> 00:14:31,544
At least that's
what my dad told me.

301
00:14:31,545 --> 00:14:33,819
I mean I found out after college that
he actually had her deported

302
00:14:33,820 --> 00:14:35,163
for putting knives
in the fork drawer.

303
00:14:35,198 --> 00:14:38,296
You know Elliot, you're a lot more
normal than you should be.

304
00:14:39,231 --> 00:14:42,034
Well, you do what you can
with what you got.

305
00:14:44,323 --> 00:14:46,061
Holly frick!

306
00:14:47,714 --> 00:14:50,566
First my parents get divorce,
now you and Carla are all messed-up.

307
00:14:50,601 --> 00:14:51,907
What's the
common denominator?

308
00:14:51,908 --> 00:14:54,588
J.D. I should get buisiness cards
that say "love destroyer."

309
00:14:54,623 --> 00:14:55,646
Dude, it's not your fault.

310
00:14:55,647 --> 00:14:58,779
Don't get me wrong, hanging with you
these last couple of days has been nice.

311
00:14:58,846 --> 00:15:01,713
Nice? It was intoxicating.
You were hanging with the Jay Dizzle.

312
00:15:01,714 --> 00:15:03,952
I'm sure it it felt like
some sort of crasy dream.

313
00:15:03,958 --> 00:15:06,095
I don't know, because with the
Jay Dizzle, everything's hassle free.

314
00:15:06,130 --> 00:15:08,454
Yeah, like some sort of
crazy hassle free dream.

315
00:15:08,534 --> 00:15:10,221
Okay, stop. Stop.

316
00:15:10,256 --> 00:15:12,798
Maybe that's why I skipped the brunch,
now I just can't help thinking :

317
00:15:12,833 --> 00:15:14,400
mariage shouldn't be this hard.

318
00:15:15,208 --> 00:15:17,635
So, you're my gastric bypass.
You got any questions?

319
00:15:17,775 --> 00:15:19,584
No, see you on tomorrow.

320
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:21,552
I'll be the one with the mask on.

321
00:15:21,885 --> 00:15:24,754
That's how easy marriage should be.

322
00:15:25,293 --> 00:15:29,452
I won't be there, but I'm sure
it will be nice to operate on you.

323
00:15:37,471 --> 00:15:39,006
What is it Bob?

324
00:15:39,355 --> 00:15:43,008
When the hell did patients
stop respecting us?

325
00:15:43,811 --> 00:15:45,945
I really tried to help
that young woman and

326
00:15:45,946 --> 00:15:49,172
she she rolled over me like
Enid's wheelchair over Baxter's tail.

327
00:15:49,408 --> 00:15:52,534
Enid was recently paralyzed,
I haven't told anyone.

328
00:15:54,150 --> 00:15:59,376
Anyway, I couldn't handle a patient,
so go ahead, take your shots.

329
00:15:59,786 --> 00:16:03,407
I want to, Bob.
I really do.

330
00:16:03,442 --> 00:16:07,186
But my first patient today was
a snot nose little punk

331
00:16:07,187 --> 00:16:12,575
who wouldn't let me give him a rectal
exam unless I said pretty please first.

332
00:16:12,576 --> 00:16:17,684
And I'm just not big on begging strangers
to stick my hand up their butt.

333
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:19,931
Not even in my private time.

334
00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:24,031
Remember when being a doctor meant
that people would look up to you.

335
00:16:26,507 --> 00:16:30,359
When I first started out,
I could get this old white coat out,

336
00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,403
get a free haircut,
nice table at the restaurant.

337
00:16:33,404 --> 00:16:35,950
Hell, I never once had
a speeding ticket.

338
00:16:35,999 --> 00:16:38,618
People used to
give me cards and gifts

339
00:16:38,619 --> 00:16:41,927
and sometimes even a pie,
just for doing my job.

340
00:16:42,097 --> 00:16:47,844
Every mother wanted me to marry
their daughter because I was a doctor.

341
00:16:47,879 --> 00:16:50,536
And I used that to sleep
with all those mothers

342
00:16:50,537 --> 00:16:53,114
because that's what
a housecall used to mean.

343
00:16:53,149 --> 00:16:56,790
Those were the good old,
incredibly disturbing days, Bob.

344
00:16:58,301 --> 00:17:01,066
Today, people think of us
as drug dispensing,

345
00:17:01,067 --> 00:17:05,673
walking lawsuites who are in fact
less informed than their internet phones.

346
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:08,157
So that's what that damned thing was.

347
00:17:08,425 --> 00:17:10,288
I will tell you one thing though.

348
00:17:11,186 --> 00:17:15,223
If you even to have an outside chance
of reaching someone nowadays,

349
00:17:15,589 --> 00:17:18,204
you damn sure better
speak from your heart.

350
00:17:18,991 --> 00:17:20,607
Thank you Perry.

351
00:17:22,227 --> 00:17:24,134
Blow it out your ass, Bob.

352
00:17:28,426 --> 00:17:30,621
- Elliot?
- Yeah.

353
00:17:30,656 --> 00:17:32,067
I spoke to the groundskeeper.

354
00:17:32,068 --> 00:17:35,010
He'll come over as soon as
he finishes burying Paul Newman.

355
00:17:36,019 --> 00:17:39,146
Different Paul Newan, I asked.
I'll just wait here with you.

356
00:17:39,603 --> 00:17:40,922
Oh, Carla, go.

357
00:17:41,092 --> 00:17:44,793
I'm fine down here, in this giant,
fresh empty grave.

358
00:17:50,785 --> 00:17:53,837
I didn't know what to say to Turk next.
And then it happened.

359
00:17:58,921 --> 00:18:00,558
Sir, the door was open.

360
00:18:00,593 --> 00:18:02,450
I know, I just love doing it.

361
00:18:02,816 --> 00:18:04,157
What now, grandpa?

362
00:18:04,333 --> 00:18:07,104
You are gonna shut your damned yapper
and listen for a change.

363
00:18:07,139 --> 00:18:09,250
Because I've got you pegged, sweatheart.

364
00:18:09,428 --> 00:18:14,553
You want to take the easy way out
with this surgery because you're scared.

365
00:18:14,588 --> 00:18:18,127
And you're scared because if you try
and fail, there's only you to blame.

366
00:18:18,162 --> 00:18:21,746
But missie, let me break this down
for you Bobbo style.

367
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,552
Life is scary.

368
00:18:24,587 --> 00:18:25,934
Get used to it.

369
00:18:26,501 --> 00:18:29,485
And then it seemed like Dr. Kelso
wasn't only talking to her.

370
00:18:30,078 --> 00:18:33,028
There are no magical fixes.

371
00:18:33,063 --> 00:18:34,938
It's all up to you.

372
00:18:35,798 --> 00:18:40,768
So get up of your keister, get out
of here and go start doing the work.

373
00:18:40,803 --> 00:18:43,038
- What if it's too hard?
- Yeah, what if it's too hard?

374
00:18:43,087 --> 00:18:45,661
Turkelton, I have no idea of
why you are chiming in,

375
00:18:45,662 --> 00:18:47,344
but I'll say this to both of you.

376
00:18:47,922 --> 00:18:51,894
Nothing in this world that's
worth having comes easy.

377
00:18:53,657 --> 00:18:55,235
I gotta go.

378
00:18:58,945 --> 00:19:00,806
Okay, here it goes.

379
00:19:02,244 --> 00:19:04,081
Oh, this is so weird.

380
00:19:05,218 --> 00:19:07,264
I don't even know what to say.

381
00:19:08,154 --> 00:19:10,378
Sorry I haven't visited you much.
I've been kind of busy, you know.

382
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:14,489
That's not true.
Why am I lying to a a slab of granite?

383
00:19:18,451 --> 00:19:21,603
I just know I really could've
used you around this week.

384
00:19:22,639 --> 00:19:24,368
I miss you.

385
00:19:28,948 --> 00:19:30,507
Can you tell her I miss her too?

386
00:19:32,700 --> 00:19:34,200
You know what?
Never mind.

387
00:19:34,714 --> 00:19:36,775
Because she wouldn't believe you.

388
00:19:40,104 --> 00:19:42,763
You can never truly capture the past.

389
00:19:46,273 --> 00:19:48,327
That will be $18.

390
00:19:48,658 --> 00:19:50,534
Oh, I'm not paying.

391
00:19:50,569 --> 00:19:52,100
I'm a doctor.

392
00:19:52,286 --> 00:19:54,554
Yeah... we don't do that anymore.

393
00:19:54,799 --> 00:19:56,536
You're paying.

394
00:20:02,269 --> 00:20:03,661
You still have to try, though.

395
00:20:03,662 --> 00:20:06,075
Because as a recently incarcerated
doctor once said :

396
00:20:06,256 --> 00:20:08,797
Nothing worth having comes easy.

397
00:20:13,924 --> 00:20:15,604
So, you're ready to come home?

398
00:20:18,319 --> 00:20:21,484
I'm trying to get there, Turk.
I'm just not there yet.

399
00:20:22,732 --> 00:20:25,305
All right, you take
all the time you need, okay?

400
00:20:30,142 --> 00:20:32,838
Do you mind sitting here
for a little longer?

401
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:40,074
Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

402
00:20:45,409 --> 00:20:47,383
Is anybody there?

403
00:20:47,418 --> 00:20:48,750
Anybody?

404
00:20:48,997 --> 00:20:50,503
Hello?

405
00:20:51,876 --> 00:20:53,405
Keep it together, Elliot.

406
00:20:53,580 --> 00:20:55,046
Things could be worse.

407
00:20:57,427 --> 00:20:58,628
Oh dear god.

408
00:20:59,447 --> 00:21:01,596
I'm going to die in a watery grave.

409
00:21:02,305 --> 00:21:08,488
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