1 00:00:01,668 --> 00:00:02,965 [J.D.] It's been a week, 2 00:00:03,036 --> 00:00:06,528 but I'm having trouble moving past my breakup with Julie. 3 00:00:09,075 --> 00:00:12,169 Luckily, my roommate knows how to take care of me. 4 00:00:12,245 --> 00:00:13,610 Nice. 5 00:00:13,713 --> 00:00:16,204 Now it's a picture of me and you on a unicorn. 6 00:00:16,282 --> 00:00:18,648 J.D., that's Gary Busey. 7 00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:24,318 It's uncanny. 8 00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:28,350 [J.D.] Now that we live together, Elliot and I were getting tighter every day. 9 00:00:28,461 --> 00:00:33,831 [Screaming] Oh, my God! That's cold! J.D.! 10 00:00:33,900 --> 00:00:36,266 [J.D.] She wasn't great at practical jokes. 11 00:00:37,804 --> 00:00:39,169 [Squeaking] 12 00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:44,267 Ah! Ah! Oh! 13 00:00:49,182 --> 00:00:51,878 [J.D.] But still, we'd become inseparable. 14 00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:53,714 [# The Southland: Shadow] 15 00:00:57,190 --> 00:01:00,318 Whoa! OK! Yeah. 16 00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:02,418 There you are, little fellas. 17 00:01:02,495 --> 00:01:05,328 Thanks for the ride, buddy. See you upstairs. 18 00:01:08,435 --> 00:01:09,800 Ooh! 19 00:01:10,937 --> 00:01:12,802 Todd! Gun show! 20 00:01:13,973 --> 00:01:15,702 Don't worry. I've got permits. 21 00:01:15,775 --> 00:01:18,209 Go ahead and touch 'em. The safety's on. Oof! 22 00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:26,883 I keep passing out, but you haven't seen it 'cause it happens when I yawn. 23 00:01:26,953 --> 00:01:30,184 No problem. Newbie. Quick. Tell him a story. 24 00:01:30,256 --> 00:01:33,123 Lay off. I'm still upset with this Julie thing. I'm... 25 00:01:33,193 --> 00:01:34,160 [splatting] 26 00:01:35,662 --> 00:01:38,597 You know, in high school once there was a... 27 00:01:39,399 --> 00:01:40,696 Hope that hurt. 28 00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:45,898 Totally worth it. I need one of you two clowns to do a work up on this guy. 29 00:01:45,972 --> 00:01:49,408 It's going to be a giant pain in the ass. 30 00:01:49,476 --> 00:01:50,568 Hmm. 31 00:01:50,643 --> 00:01:53,544 Newbie, looks like it's you. All the best. 32 00:01:53,613 --> 00:01:55,342 Damn those rollerblades. 33 00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:57,349 OK, everybody, let's gather around. 34 00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,975 [J.D.] After six months, 35 00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:02,021 some interns can become completely overwhelmed. 36 00:02:02,088 --> 00:02:05,251 - Where's Rex? - He's gone fetal again. 37 00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:08,757 - Put a blankie on him. - I've got it. 38 00:02:08,828 --> 00:02:12,093 Unfortunately, young Keith had become competent so quickly 39 00:02:12,165 --> 00:02:14,292 that every word out of his chiseled mouth 40 00:02:14,367 --> 00:02:17,666 came tainted with an arrogant smugness that he couldn't hide 41 00:02:17,737 --> 00:02:19,398 no matter how hard he tried. 42 00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,633 Is there anything else I can do? 43 00:02:22,542 --> 00:02:24,510 [J.D.] Right on cue. 44 00:02:24,611 --> 00:02:25,908 No, Keith. 45 00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:30,040 All I need right now is a sip of your coffee to make me feel warm in my belly. 46 00:02:30,116 --> 00:02:32,084 Oh! Keith! Look what you did! 47 00:02:32,152 --> 00:02:35,451 Here! Dr. Dorian, take my shirt. 48 00:02:36,956 --> 00:02:39,288 You think you're better than me? 49 00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:42,726 With your rock-hard abs and your dynamite areoles. 50 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:44,653 Well, you're not. 51 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,226 - [Gasping] - Dr. D, what's on your back? 52 00:02:49,302 --> 00:02:53,033 Those, Jason, are the panicked scratches of the adolescent raccoon 53 00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:55,597 who, until animal control can get into my home, 54 00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:57,836 is currently residing in my sock drawer. 55 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:04,507 [J.D.] To clear my head, I decided to give scooter-blading a try. 56 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:07,815 I got this! Gun it, grandma! 57 00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:10,447 - OK. - [Revving] 58 00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:13,219 Ooh! Oh! Oh! 59 00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:17,696 [Yawning] 60 00:03:18,831 --> 00:03:20,594 Hmm? 61 00:03:20,667 --> 00:03:22,532 Whoo! Whoa! 62 00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:28,569 Mm-hm. 63 00:03:28,641 --> 00:03:30,006 [Tires screeching] 64 00:03:32,612 --> 00:03:34,341 [Shouting] 65 00:03:36,616 --> 00:03:38,675 Whoo! That was close! 66 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:43,318 # I can't do this all on my own 67 00:03:43,389 --> 00:03:46,825 # No, I know I'm no Superman 68 00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:52,256 # I'm no Superman # 69 00:03:56,302 --> 00:03:57,963 You OK, Dr. Dorian? 70 00:03:58,037 --> 00:04:00,665 Keith, it's like you're begging me to hate you. 71 00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,867 - I don't feel like I am. - You can't stop! 72 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,375 [Whistles] Newbie, today. 73 00:04:04,444 --> 00:04:07,607 [J.D.] We were edgy because our favorite patient, Mrs. Wilk, 74 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,843 had developed a lung infection and needed to be intubated. 75 00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:13,147 Basically, we had to put her in a coma. 76 00:04:13,219 --> 00:04:16,518 At her age, there's always a good chance she'll never wake up. 77 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:20,457 A whole week of sleep. You'll have some killer bed head. 78 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,229 I'm nervous. Sorry. I love bed head. 79 00:04:23,296 --> 00:04:26,459 Marge, the patient should not have to be braver than you. 80 00:04:26,566 --> 00:04:28,796 Go easy on him. He's my fella. 81 00:04:29,602 --> 00:04:33,231 Now listen, if this doesn't work, I want you to just let me go. 82 00:04:33,306 --> 00:04:34,671 Don't let me linger. 83 00:04:34,741 --> 00:04:38,006 [J.D.] You'd think we'd be used to this kind of stuff by now, 84 00:04:38,077 --> 00:04:41,240 when a patient's been around for a while, it gets to everyone. 85 00:04:41,347 --> 00:04:44,316 No matter how long you've been here. 86 00:04:44,384 --> 00:04:48,718 Turkelton, you're a surgeon. When did you ever deal with Mrs. Wilk? 87 00:04:49,188 --> 00:04:51,213 [Electro music playing] 88 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:55,728 You're not extending your arm. It's called pop and lock, Christopher. 89 00:04:55,795 --> 00:04:57,729 - Not pop and dangle. - OK. 90 00:04:57,797 --> 00:04:59,162 OK? 91 00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,961 [Music plays] 92 00:05:02,101 --> 00:05:03,534 Oh. OK. 93 00:05:04,604 --> 00:05:07,437 - You're getting it now, baby. - OK. 94 00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:10,340 - I'll see you later. - Go Michael! 95 00:05:10,877 --> 00:05:13,038 She changed my life. 96 00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:16,206 All right. Here we go. See you in a couple days. 97 00:05:16,282 --> 00:05:17,772 Let's hope so. 98 00:05:19,485 --> 00:05:22,852 [J.D.] Everyone has their own way of getting stuff off their mind. 99 00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:26,289 Some people like to work it off. 100 00:05:27,860 --> 00:05:30,420 Others try to drink it away. 101 00:05:31,698 --> 00:05:35,031 For me, I had heard that the piercing girl at the mall was easy. 102 00:05:35,101 --> 00:05:37,592 Thanks for penciling me in. 103 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:40,696 Maybe later you could show me where else you're pierced. 104 00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:43,742 - Why wait till later? - All right. 105 00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,368 - [J.D. Screaming] - [Banging] 106 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:50,880 I feel so close to you right now. 107 00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:53,475 - [Zipper unzipping] - [Screaming] 108 00:05:54,087 --> 00:05:55,987 Oh! 109 00:05:56,622 --> 00:05:59,113 Why do I forget that I'm lactose intolerant? 110 00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:00,625 What are you doing here? 111 00:06:00,693 --> 00:06:04,424 We were so bummed about Mrs. Wilk we inhaled six gallons of ice cream. 112 00:06:04,964 --> 00:06:08,297 Would you tell Dr. Kelso to make this gym more female friendly? 113 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:11,337 - There's no equipment for women here. - Yeah. 114 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:14,703 Know where there's all kinds of equipment for women? Toddland. 115 00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:18,642 Damn it, Todd. What did I tell you about talking like that around my wife? 116 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:21,544 - Wait until she leaves and then say it? - Exactly. 117 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:22,581 You're welcome. 118 00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:30,087 - Saving this seat for your ex-wife? - No. She... she's over there. 119 00:06:30,757 --> 00:06:33,453 Do you know that guy pointing at us? 120 00:06:33,526 --> 00:06:36,495 No. You should fight him. 121 00:06:36,596 --> 00:06:38,928 One rule. No yapping. 122 00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:43,059 The only thing I want to hear is my liver drunkenly singing rugby songs. 123 00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:45,798 Calm down. I'm not even here. 124 00:06:45,872 --> 00:06:49,569 Seriously, my shift at the hospital doesn't end for three hours. 125 00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:52,975 - I hate that place and everyone in it. - I'll drink to hate. 126 00:06:54,847 --> 00:06:56,212 Cheers. 127 00:06:56,282 --> 00:06:58,443 [Laughing] You're right. But, you know... 128 00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:00,644 You know what else I hate about Kelso? 129 00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:03,621 His hair smells like a pet store. 130 00:07:03,689 --> 00:07:05,122 Actually, that's my fault. 131 00:07:05,191 --> 00:07:07,352 I filled his hairspray can with dog sweat. 132 00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,793 - Dogs don't sweat. - No? 133 00:07:09,862 --> 00:07:13,628 - What the hell am I putting in there? - We're giving Bobby a ride home. 134 00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:17,100 Say good night to your girlfriend. He'll be here tomorrow. 135 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,730 I will. Not that it matters. 136 00:07:19,839 --> 00:07:21,500 Not that I care. 137 00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:24,634 [Country music plays] 138 00:07:24,710 --> 00:07:26,473 - [Jordan] Perry! - [Record scratches] 139 00:07:26,546 --> 00:07:29,276 Dorm closes at midnight. Uh! 140 00:07:29,348 --> 00:07:31,282 - I gotta go. - Yep. 141 00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:34,787 I tell you, I am done trying to pick up the random ladies. 142 00:07:34,854 --> 00:07:39,348 Every time I do, I end up with face holes and an emerald stud on my peep. 143 00:07:39,425 --> 00:07:40,915 [J.D.] Which I'm keeping. 144 00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:45,430 You're surrounded by interns who'd do anything to get with the attending. 145 00:07:45,498 --> 00:07:47,193 - Make a booty call. - He's right. 146 00:07:47,266 --> 00:07:50,326 People have been making booty calls since the dawn of time. 147 00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,140 Kronk, why you go now? 148 00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,975 Oh! Hey. You're up. 149 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:02,604 Um... 150 00:08:03,015 --> 00:08:06,109 Look. I don't know what you're looking for, 151 00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:10,087 but I just got out of a really tough relationship with this girl, Debbie. 152 00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:13,319 Also, my sister was carried off by a giant bird 153 00:08:13,426 --> 00:08:15,587 so we've all been in mourning about that. 154 00:08:15,695 --> 00:08:18,664 And, um, my brother ate my foot. 155 00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:21,132 But you are just fantastic. 156 00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:25,569 The things you were doing last night, they were, well, crazy. 157 00:08:25,671 --> 00:08:30,233 OK? So when I clear my own stuff up, I'd love to get back together with you. 158 00:08:30,776 --> 00:08:32,004 Hungry. 159 00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:34,171 OK, I should really go. 160 00:08:34,547 --> 00:08:38,074 You know what? I'll do it. If my partner-in-crime here'll join me. 161 00:08:38,150 --> 00:08:40,311 J.D., booty calls are pathetic. 162 00:08:40,386 --> 00:08:44,288 More than e-mailing your high school boyfriend to see about his marriage? 163 00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,722 Black hand side. 164 00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:51,388 Carla, Mike Gorski wrote "keep in touch" in my yearbook and that's all I'm doing. 165 00:08:51,464 --> 00:08:55,298 He did say that his wife Carol is his soul mate and yes, they have twins, 166 00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:58,394 but he also said that he wished she knew how to ski, 167 00:08:58,471 --> 00:09:01,929 so let's just see if they're together come winter. 168 00:09:02,008 --> 00:09:04,704 Yes, J.D., I will do this with you. 169 00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:10,682 Oh, Dr. Kelso. 170 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,843 Where... Where's your wife going? 171 00:09:12,919 --> 00:09:16,787 He's gonna ask Dr. Kelso if we can get some equipment for women in the gym. 172 00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:20,724 - Oh. That is so nice. - My baby's learning. 173 00:09:25,131 --> 00:09:26,758 [Turk] Oh! 174 00:09:26,832 --> 00:09:28,766 Are you crazy? 175 00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:31,564 Why would you want your wife in the gym? 176 00:09:31,637 --> 00:09:34,367 Because unlike you, I don't hate my wife. 177 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:37,702 Yet. You don't hate your wife yet. 178 00:09:37,777 --> 00:09:39,938 But think about it, huh? 179 00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:43,482 You go to work, she's there. You go out, she's there. 180 00:09:43,549 --> 00:09:46,575 And when you go home, where is she? 181 00:09:47,453 --> 00:09:49,683 - There? - Ding. 182 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:53,782 Women are everywhere. Except for the gym. 183 00:09:54,026 --> 00:09:57,894 That's why it's such a magical place. Don't ruin that. Don't be that guy. 184 00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:00,592 Come on. You're so much more than that. 185 00:10:01,067 --> 00:10:02,796 [Whispering] I'm begging you. 186 00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:08,504 I'm... I'm actually saving that for someone. 187 00:10:08,574 --> 00:10:11,634 - That's not allowed. - Fair enough. 188 00:10:11,711 --> 00:10:14,680 Say, that's a real nice pantsuit you have there. 189 00:10:14,747 --> 00:10:18,114 Oh, well, thank you. It's 40 percent off. 190 00:10:18,184 --> 00:10:21,551 Swing by my place and see if we can't get it 100 percent off? 191 00:10:22,955 --> 00:10:24,616 Had to be done. 192 00:10:24,957 --> 00:10:27,482 - Thanks. I got your next one. - Don't mention it. 193 00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:30,791 I'm late 'cause Dorian parked his scooter behind my new van. 194 00:10:30,863 --> 00:10:34,697 Practically punctured a tire backing over it. Kid drives me crazy. 195 00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:35,927 A new van, huh? 196 00:10:36,035 --> 00:10:38,560 You blew up the old one over a bet. Remember? 197 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:39,935 Right. 198 00:10:40,006 --> 00:10:44,238 Dorian drives me crazy too. But what are you going to do about it? 199 00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:51,348 I stole this from his locker. 200 00:10:51,417 --> 00:10:54,443 I come by here a couple times a week and move stuff around. 201 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:58,183 Turn off his alarm. Maybe cut his bangs. 202 00:10:58,257 --> 00:11:01,556 You're in need of help, but darn it, I'm not gonna give it to ya. 203 00:11:04,263 --> 00:11:06,163 How sound a sleeper you think he is? 204 00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:08,200 Well, watch this. 205 00:11:08,267 --> 00:11:09,529 Why? 206 00:11:10,536 --> 00:11:11,764 So, what now? 207 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,805 - [Siren wailing] - [Screaming] 208 00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:19,411 Naked. Excellent. 209 00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,910 Who took my emerald? 210 00:11:23,983 --> 00:11:27,146 [J.D.] After paying the Janitor the unreasonable sum of $90 211 00:11:27,253 --> 00:11:29,483 to move my bed back home... 212 00:11:34,560 --> 00:11:36,824 ... we decided to round up our interns 213 00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:39,831 so we could pick out our respective booty calls. 214 00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:42,265 Welcome to Fuglyville. 215 00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:44,798 J.D., I don't want to do this. 216 00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:48,567 Can't we just go home and put on our pj's and watch Grey's Anatomy? 217 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:50,472 Oh, I do love that show. 218 00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:54,377 It's like they've been watching our lives and then just put it on TV. 219 00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:56,210 - Yeah. - Hmm. 220 00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:02,516 [J.D.] Carla listened at the door while I was helped Turk ask for gym equipment. 221 00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:06,258 - What do you want? - [J.D.] And then Turk lied. 222 00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:09,919 Sir, we're here on behalf of Dr. Bianca. 223 00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:13,429 You know, the albino radiologist? 224 00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,729 Oh, Jim! 225 00:12:15,801 --> 00:12:17,564 Who'd he get pregnant this time? 226 00:12:17,636 --> 00:12:22,005 I tell you, the ladies cannot resist that ivory rascal. 227 00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:26,841 Sir, Jim is demanding that he gets new equipment in his lab. 228 00:12:26,912 --> 00:12:28,846 Demanding? 229 00:12:30,316 --> 00:12:35,879 There is no way in hell that Jim is getting new equipment! 230 00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:41,215 Sorry, baby. I tried. 231 00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:52,562 - Has there been any change? - She's still the same. 232 00:12:52,638 --> 00:12:56,540 [J.D.] I guess in the back of my mind I was hoping for a pleasant surprise 233 00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,169 because around here most of them are unpleasant. 234 00:12:59,278 --> 00:13:01,542 [Sighs] 235 00:13:01,614 --> 00:13:04,777 Like when a guy you thought you connected with turns on you. 236 00:13:04,850 --> 00:13:07,819 Hey. How's the day treating you, big guy? 237 00:13:08,254 --> 00:13:10,415 You're not talking to me, are you, Doogie? 238 00:13:10,489 --> 00:13:11,547 Doogie? 239 00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:15,492 This is a doctor no-fly zone, bubs. Speaking of flys, yours is down. 240 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:20,024 Oh, no! You fell for the grade school zinger! 241 00:13:20,099 --> 00:13:22,761 You gotta go! Back to the game, boys. 242 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:30,274 And you guys would not believe how hard my man fought for us. 243 00:13:30,342 --> 00:13:35,109 Yeah. Well, you know, ladies, I do what I do when I do what I do. 244 00:13:35,214 --> 00:13:37,444 [J.D.] Or your boss blows your cover. 245 00:13:37,516 --> 00:13:40,007 Turkelton, I have reconsidered your request 246 00:13:40,085 --> 00:13:44,545 and I've decided to give old Jim that new MRI machine. 247 00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:46,750 [Yelps] See, baby... No! Wait! 248 00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,192 [J.D.] My surprise came the next morning 249 00:13:49,295 --> 00:13:52,628 when I found out Elliot had broken our no booty call agreement. 250 00:13:54,934 --> 00:13:56,993 With my nemesis. 251 00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:02,039 Why is he wearing my robe? 252 00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:04,065 It fits me. 253 00:14:09,081 --> 00:14:13,040 - J.D., I can explain. - Oh, you did it twice. 254 00:14:13,118 --> 00:14:16,679 All righty. Somebody's a stud. We got a stud alert in here! 255 00:14:16,755 --> 00:14:19,121 Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! 256 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:25,496 OK, this is just mathematically impossible. 257 00:14:25,564 --> 00:14:28,465 Keith, Dr. Dorian and I have to get to work now, OK? 258 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:31,298 Why don't you clean this up, then drop off my laundry 259 00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:34,737 and get me a coffee and bring it to the hospital. Run, like a bunny. 260 00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:36,603 Sure thing, Elliot. 261 00:14:36,675 --> 00:14:40,577 Keith! It's after nine. It's Dr. Reid now. 262 00:14:40,846 --> 00:14:42,746 Dr. Reid. Dr. Reid. 263 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,511 I love booty calls. 264 00:14:45,584 --> 00:14:48,485 "El Toro Grande"? 265 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:50,988 I'm not familiar with this brand. 266 00:14:54,793 --> 00:14:59,423 No change. Her FIO2 is still 50 percent. 267 00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:01,359 I said no cream. 268 00:15:01,433 --> 00:15:05,199 I didn't say no cream. It's like having a sex puppy. 269 00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:09,130 - What's your problem? - I can't stand that guy. 270 00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:11,301 J.D., he's just a booty call. 271 00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:15,404 - Say the word and I'll end it. - I'd appreciate it if you'd end it. 272 00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:19,314 Oh, my God. You've turned Keith into forbidden fruit. 273 00:15:20,185 --> 00:15:22,483 I must have him now. 274 00:15:22,554 --> 00:15:25,114 Heel! [clicking tongue] 275 00:15:26,325 --> 00:15:29,351 Oh. Hey, bud. Check out my new mop bling. 276 00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,918 Bling! 277 00:15:30,996 --> 00:15:32,361 It's cool. I cleaned it. 278 00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:34,625 Oh, so what? Now we're pals again? 279 00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:37,497 I've got to be honest. I'm confused, Sasquatch. 280 00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:39,628 I got a rep to protect, OK? 281 00:15:39,705 --> 00:15:41,730 I'm seen as the king of working folks. 282 00:15:41,807 --> 00:15:44,469 If they catch me hobnobbing with a doctor-type, 283 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:48,001 I won't get my cut of prosthetics we looted from the storage room. 284 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,413 - How's that? - We sell feet to college kids for $500. 285 00:15:51,483 --> 00:15:54,816 Apparently, they... smoke something out of them. 286 00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:58,254 Let me get this straight. You are embarrassed to be seen with me? 287 00:15:58,357 --> 00:15:59,483 At the hospital. 288 00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:01,788 At the bar we can hang out all we want. 289 00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:05,622 You rich, yacht-owning punk! You think... 290 00:16:05,731 --> 00:16:08,291 They're gone. It's cool. See you at the bar. 291 00:16:10,502 --> 00:16:12,265 Aw, sweetie, 292 00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:17,105 do you want me to call his mommy and tell her he's being mean to you? 293 00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:20,145 My friend is mean to me. 294 00:16:22,214 --> 00:16:24,512 Listen. Honey, I know you're angry. 295 00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:27,051 But look what I found in my locker. A wad of cash. 296 00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:29,178 You can buy the shoes you wanted. 297 00:16:29,254 --> 00:16:32,917 I'm not mad about that gym thing. Sign this please. 298 00:16:34,693 --> 00:16:37,253 - Any of you ladies have a pen? - Whoo! 299 00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,426 Oh! Yow! 300 00:16:39,498 --> 00:16:41,728 - Yow! - [Sighs] 301 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,825 You set me up. 302 00:16:43,902 --> 00:16:44,869 Baby, you are mad. 303 00:16:44,970 --> 00:16:48,701 It's not a crime for me to want one place that I can hang out by myself. 304 00:16:48,774 --> 00:16:51,709 Turk, I am not mad, OK? 305 00:16:51,777 --> 00:16:53,938 Now staple these, please. 306 00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:58,208 Anybody got a stapler? 307 00:16:58,884 --> 00:17:00,249 Hey! 308 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:02,453 Hey. 309 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:07,584 [J.D.] I promised I wouldn't pick on Keith, but this one he had coming. 310 00:17:07,659 --> 00:17:10,628 OK, guys. Gather round, gather round. 311 00:17:10,729 --> 00:17:12,788 Your hero, Keith here, 312 00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:15,698 forgot to check the blood levels on Mr. Joy this morning 313 00:17:15,768 --> 00:17:16,826 and guess what? 314 00:17:18,237 --> 00:17:19,465 He's dead. 315 00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:21,597 Way to go there, Keith. 316 00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:23,573 I've never seen this guy before. 317 00:17:23,642 --> 00:17:26,941 Oh! Way to get to know your patients there, murderer. 318 00:17:27,012 --> 00:17:29,139 There's Mr. Joy. 319 00:17:29,214 --> 00:17:31,478 J.D., did you steal him from the morgue? 320 00:17:31,550 --> 00:17:34,917 I left a note on the decapitated guy's stump I'd have him back by 2. 321 00:17:35,020 --> 00:17:36,248 It is 1:45. 322 00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:39,848 I have to take him back to the basement and I don't even have my gurney. 323 00:17:39,925 --> 00:17:41,825 I hate dead people. 324 00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:46,328 All right. The real reason that I brought Mr. Joy up here 325 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,662 was for a teaching exercise. 326 00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:51,760 Can anyone figure out the cause of death? 327 00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,169 Maybe when you leaned over to check his I.V., 328 00:17:54,239 --> 00:17:57,333 you smothered him to death with one of your love handles. 329 00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:00,205 What did you say, Keith? 330 00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:04,113 Dr. Reid told me if you picked on me I should stand up for myself. 331 00:18:04,183 --> 00:18:08,017 And that you're very sensitive about your... doughy physique. 332 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,816 Well, I'm not. 333 00:18:15,060 --> 00:18:19,156 Please, no one help. He's not heavy at all. 334 00:18:19,231 --> 00:18:21,597 Out of professional decorum 335 00:18:21,700 --> 00:18:25,431 we should refrain from talking about Dr. Reid. 336 00:18:25,504 --> 00:18:29,201 He's boinking her, everyone. That's why he gets special treatment. 337 00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:32,572 What did she say to do if I said that? 338 00:18:32,644 --> 00:18:34,703 - Page her. - Ah! 339 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,680 - Hello. - [Gagging] 340 00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:40,815 I forgot how strong you are when you're mad. 341 00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:48,017 Hey, can I... can I talk to you for a sec? 342 00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:51,654 What's the matter, Sally? Vending machine's out of bras again? 343 00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:53,458 Nice. You tell him. 344 00:18:53,532 --> 00:18:54,658 What's up, buddy? 345 00:18:54,733 --> 00:18:58,294 I just thought your friends might be interested in seeing this photo 346 00:18:58,370 --> 00:19:01,339 I took with my cell phone the other night. 347 00:19:02,441 --> 00:19:05,808 I'm going to airbrush "Friends Forever." 348 00:19:05,878 --> 00:19:08,938 Then I'm gonna hang these bad boys all over the hospital. 349 00:19:09,014 --> 00:19:10,982 Oh, evocative. 350 00:19:11,083 --> 00:19:13,449 - Give it to me. - You want it? Come and get it. 351 00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:15,453 - Come and get it. - Gentlemen, 352 00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:17,989 let's try to be professional. 353 00:19:19,525 --> 00:19:22,289 I left my gurney downstairs in the morgue. 354 00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,295 You're a superstar. 355 00:19:25,397 --> 00:19:27,558 One of them staplers could've killed me. 356 00:19:27,666 --> 00:19:30,965 Know what bothers me? You whining about me being in your space 357 00:19:31,036 --> 00:19:32,901 when you never want to be alone. 358 00:19:32,971 --> 00:19:35,531 For God's sake, you bought side-by-side toilets. 359 00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:38,940 - That was a surprise for your birthday. - A surprise for me. 360 00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:42,310 - Surprise! How about that? OK? - I don't want it. Take it back. 361 00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:46,641 Doughy physique, Elliot? Doughy physique? 362 00:19:46,718 --> 00:19:48,948 If the pear-shaped shirt fits, wear it. 363 00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,318 I am ashamed of you, OK? 364 00:19:50,389 --> 00:19:53,358 Do you know how petty it is to get that personal? 365 00:19:53,458 --> 00:19:56,393 - My own face, OK? - That's what I'm telling you. 366 00:19:56,461 --> 00:19:59,726 Once when we were dating, Elliot asked me to urinate on her. 367 00:19:59,798 --> 00:20:01,163 [All stop arguing] 368 00:20:03,435 --> 00:20:05,801 I had been stung by a jellyfish! 369 00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,337 [All arguing] 370 00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:14,405 [Pagers beeping] 371 00:20:15,347 --> 00:20:18,783 [J.D.] Around here, it can feel like good things never happen. 372 00:20:23,622 --> 00:20:25,749 Good to see you, you old bird. 373 00:20:26,491 --> 00:20:28,356 Did I miss anything? 374 00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:31,493 I'll catch you up later. 375 00:20:31,597 --> 00:20:33,258 [J.D.] Of course, when they do, 376 00:20:33,332 --> 00:20:36,358 all the petty little arguments fade away. 377 00:20:39,371 --> 00:20:42,898 And you don't mind waiting a little longer for your workout. 378 00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:48,306 Or your bar friend not being your work friend. 379 00:20:48,380 --> 00:20:51,406 Because the truth is, when you put stuff in perspective, 380 00:20:51,483 --> 00:20:53,849 the little things will never bother you again. 381 00:20:53,952 --> 00:20:55,579 Good morning, Dr. D. 382 00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:59,385 Dr. Reid told me to get my sweet ass out of the shower and make an omelet. 383 00:20:59,458 --> 00:21:00,425 You want one? 384 00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:02,959 [J.D.] Did I say never?