1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:05,832
One reason interns have so
much trouble putting in chest tubes
2
00:00:05,939 --> 00:00:09,636
is because it is a violent procedure.
You must not be scared, though.
3
00:00:09,709 --> 00:00:12,576
You need to use force to get
the tube between the ribs,
4
00:00:12,645 --> 00:00:16,411
then pop it through the pleura. What
do you say there, Lis? You can do this.
5
00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:19,418
Uh, Dr. Cox, I'm not so sure
I'm comfortable with this.
6
00:00:19,486 --> 00:00:22,922
- You lost my teaching mannequin.
- I don't know what happened to it.
7
00:00:25,692 --> 00:00:27,956
Hello, carpool lane.
8
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:31,154
[Janitor] What movie do you want to see?
9
00:00:31,297 --> 00:00:34,164
Inserting chest tube.
10
00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:36,498
Lisa! God, he was joking!
11
00:00:36,569 --> 00:00:39,538
Yes, I was, Lisa.
Now take the rest of the afternoon off
12
00:00:39,606 --> 00:00:41,164
and think about what you did.
13
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,765
This is a warning, people.
14
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:46,471
Anybody else who hurts Keith is going
to get the same treatment as Lisa.
15
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:47,843
Good day.
16
00:00:47,914 --> 00:00:51,281
Nothing like watching
your boyfriend get humiliated daily.
17
00:00:52,185 --> 00:00:53,550
Purple nurple!
18
00:00:53,653 --> 00:00:55,314
[Screaming]
19
00:00:57,524 --> 00:01:01,483
Baby, look at this! I'm starting to look
like a big fat pregnant lady.
20
00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:04,655
No, you're not. You look like
you let yourself go a little.
21
00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,392
[Crying]
22
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,934
OK, that came out wrong.
But baby, it's OK.
23
00:01:09,002 --> 00:01:12,836
You're overreacting because your
pregnancy hormones are taking over.
24
00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:17,172
It's fine. These past few days,
your moods have changed like that.
25
00:01:17,243 --> 00:01:19,302
That is not true!
26
00:01:20,046 --> 00:01:22,276
- That's cool.
- I'm sorry.
27
00:01:22,348 --> 00:01:24,509
Let me kiss the owie.
Kiss the owie.
28
00:01:26,786 --> 00:01:29,755
Baby. Oh, I want to do it right now.
29
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:32,087
You don't want to
do it now. This'll pass.
30
00:01:32,659 --> 00:01:34,559
This is happening.
31
00:01:37,997 --> 00:01:40,261
You're damn right this is happening.
32
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:42,894
My mom.
33
00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:48,201
I can't believe she'll
never meet her grandchild.
34
00:01:48,274 --> 00:01:51,243
Do you want to start with kissing,
or get to the good stuff?
35
00:01:51,344 --> 00:01:53,278
What is wrong with you?
36
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:58,781
When will you learn?
[Groaning]
37
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:03,181
[J.D.] Turk talking
to a new staff member.
38
00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:05,281
Give her a special treat and say hello.
39
00:02:05,358 --> 00:02:07,121
Hello!
40
00:02:07,193 --> 00:02:09,559
J.D., I'm sure you know Kim Briggs.
41
00:02:09,662 --> 00:02:12,756
Uh, no, you big knucklehead, I don't.
42
00:02:12,832 --> 00:02:15,357
On behalf of everyone
here at Sacred Heart,
43
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:18,165
I'd like to say konichiwa.
44
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:21,537
- I've been here five years, big guy.
- I know that, Kim.
45
00:02:21,608 --> 00:02:25,339
It's a game. What's your name? Turk.
What's that guy's name? I don't know.
46
00:02:25,411 --> 00:02:28,778
It's a patient. Looks like a Dave.
Are you Dave? We don't know.
47
00:02:28,882 --> 00:02:31,112
- Torture him about this.
- Will do.
48
00:02:31,184 --> 00:02:32,446
Peace out.
49
00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:35,545
How come I never
noticed her before?
50
00:02:35,622 --> 00:02:37,920
Because she wears a wedding ring.
51
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:40,892
You don't notice women
who wear wedding rings.
52
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:44,296
- [Turk] Kim was here on your first day.
- That's enough.
53
00:02:44,430 --> 00:02:46,591
[Turk] She was at Ben's funeral.
54
00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:50,530
- Dude, she's been around.
- # Everybody was Kung Fu fighting
55
00:02:50,637 --> 00:02:53,162
# Ne-me-ne-me
Me-me-me-me-me #
56
00:02:53,239 --> 00:02:56,299
So because she wears a wedding ring,
she's invisible to me?
57
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:58,640
- Yes.
- Please, T. I'm not that shallow.
58
00:02:58,711 --> 00:03:02,078
Oh, really? Will all women
who are married in the area
59
00:03:02,182 --> 00:03:04,013
please remove your wedding rings?
60
00:03:04,083 --> 00:03:05,414
[Scoffs]
61
00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:07,283
Thank you.
62
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,583
Dr. Feinberg?
63
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:12,386
Anastasia?
64
00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,289
Gift shop girl.
65
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:16,123
Hey, J.D.
66
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:19,723
- I thought you died.
- No, I just got married.
67
00:03:19,799 --> 00:03:21,824
But I sent your family flowers.
68
00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:24,802
I know. You bought them from me.
It was kind of weird.
69
00:03:28,007 --> 00:03:30,100
- Gift shop girl!
- [Girl] What?
70
00:03:31,911 --> 00:03:33,242
- Stop that!
- Sorry.
71
00:03:38,151 --> 00:03:43,316
# I can't do this all on my own
72
00:03:43,423 --> 00:03:49,328
# I know that I'm no Superman
73
00:03:49,395 --> 00:03:52,125
That's backwards.
It's been bugging me for years.
74
00:03:53,733 --> 00:03:55,667
# I'm no Superman #
75
00:03:59,105 --> 00:04:00,732
How are we doing, Mr. Peters?
76
00:04:00,807 --> 00:04:03,867
[J.D.] I had checked up on Kim.
She got along with everybody.
77
00:04:03,943 --> 00:04:05,274
All the guys liked her.
78
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:09,111
Cover up, sailors. Chick on deck. I need
extra towels for the ladies' room.
79
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:10,580
Oh, I got a towel for you.
80
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:14,648
Yah!
81
00:04:14,721 --> 00:04:17,485
- [Fast swishing sound]
- Thanks, Todd.
82
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:20,353
All the women liked her.
83
00:04:20,426 --> 00:04:22,860
[Fast swishing sound]
84
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,358
I just love that every woman
knows how to do that.
85
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:29,094
She even got along
with the greasers.
86
00:04:29,168 --> 00:04:33,935
I know everyone gives you a hard time,
but trust me, this look is coming back.
87
00:04:35,708 --> 00:04:38,438
I never got a synchronized snap
from the greasers.
88
00:04:38,511 --> 00:04:42,470
Mr. Peters, having a gal urologist
might seem a little uncomfortable,
89
00:04:42,548 --> 00:04:45,210
but the penis is
just another excretory organ,
90
00:04:45,285 --> 00:04:47,446
so let's take the stigma off of it.
91
00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:50,853
Now, this is the length
of the average penis.
92
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,115
What?!
93
00:04:53,993 --> 00:04:55,688
That seems about right.
94
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:59,220
Good for you. I was just messing
with Dr. Dorian over there.
95
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,859
You know what?
I'm not talking to any of you guys.
96
00:05:04,103 --> 00:05:05,593
I know, right?
97
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:07,867
You lie...!
98
00:05:07,940 --> 00:05:09,703
Oh, my God!
99
00:05:11,744 --> 00:05:16,044
Keith, I know we have plans tonight,
but I am way too tired.
100
00:05:16,115 --> 00:05:18,276
No problem.
I'll call you tomorrow.
101
00:05:21,521 --> 00:05:25,218
Hey, girls. Listen,
Perry got uppity with me for,
102
00:05:25,291 --> 00:05:29,057
and I quote, "spending $20,000
we don't have on shoes,"
103
00:05:29,162 --> 00:05:32,222
so to get back at him,
I'm treating everyone to drinks.
104
00:05:32,298 --> 00:05:35,631
- I'll go.
- You told Keith you were too tired.
105
00:05:35,702 --> 00:05:39,229
I think Keith and I might be done.
106
00:05:39,305 --> 00:05:40,431
What?!
107
00:05:42,909 --> 00:05:45,343
Dorian, can I borrow
that pencil for a second?
108
00:05:45,411 --> 00:05:47,174
Just one second? Thank you.
109
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:50,974
[Fake Italian accent] Oh, no.
I snapped the pencil.
110
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:54,019
- It's from my standup act.
- Where do you perform?
111
00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,680
I'm at the Giggle Pit
every Monday at sunup.
112
00:05:56,756 --> 00:05:59,623
- I'll have to come by sometime.
- Do it, man.
113
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:02,252
Wait, I'm mad at you.
You stole my video camera
114
00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:05,195
with the scenes from Dr. Acula,
the movie I'm making.
115
00:06:05,264 --> 00:06:06,891
Why do you think I stole it?
116
00:06:06,966 --> 00:06:10,527
I was surfing the hospital's Web site
and I saw that someone posted
117
00:06:10,603 --> 00:06:13,572
the "Dr. Acula delivers
a baby then eats it" scene.
118
00:06:13,639 --> 00:06:16,608
Someone with the screen name "Rotinaj."
119
00:06:16,676 --> 00:06:19,941
"Rotinaj" is just "Janitor"
spelled backwards, Rotinaj.
120
00:06:21,047 --> 00:06:22,514
Morning, Dr. Rotinaj.
121
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,743
Good morning, Mr. Clean-Up-Man.
122
00:06:26,686 --> 00:06:30,713
Mr. Peters, I looked at your CT scan
and I recommend we don't do surgery.
123
00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:32,257
Great.
124
00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:35,260
This is goodbye,
but I leave you in the capable hands
125
00:06:35,328 --> 00:06:38,058
of Dr. John D. Dorian.
126
00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,462
You take care.
127
00:06:40,333 --> 00:06:43,268
I gave you a new middle initial.
It reassures patients.
128
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:46,237
The "D" stands for "Dallas"
because I told Mr. Peters
129
00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:49,866
that's where I lost my virginity.
Don't know how we got down that path.
130
00:06:49,942 --> 00:06:52,775
Something about that old man
makes me want to open up.
131
00:06:52,845 --> 00:06:54,540
I hope you like your new initial.
132
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,377
I don't mind it a turtle's wink.
133
00:06:56,449 --> 00:06:59,816
Wait, you only pepper your
conversation with cute animal imagery
134
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:01,012
if you're smitten.
135
00:07:01,087 --> 00:07:04,579
- Could you lend me a pen?
- Quick as a porcupine's hiccup.
136
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:07,524
[Sexy jazz music]
137
00:07:09,796 --> 00:07:12,492
All right, there's only
one problem with this.
138
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,590
[Record scratches and music stops]
139
00:07:14,667 --> 00:07:16,828
OK, see ya, J.D.
140
00:07:17,570 --> 00:07:18,594
Kim, wait.
141
00:07:19,939 --> 00:07:23,705
Unfortunately, there's no way
I can make you mine,
142
00:07:23,810 --> 00:07:25,368
unless I make you mine...
143
00:07:26,979 --> 00:07:28,913
...for eternity.
144
00:07:28,981 --> 00:07:32,610
Dr. Acula, don't stop!
145
00:07:38,724 --> 00:07:40,954
Vampires like it windy.
146
00:07:42,528 --> 00:07:45,691
Why are you breaking up with Keith?
147
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,732
Look, Keith is sweet,
148
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,268
but after watching him
get walked on again,
149
00:07:50,336 --> 00:07:52,634
I feel like I need
a stronger man in my life.
150
00:07:52,705 --> 00:07:56,766
I want what you have, someone to stand
up for me when I need it, you know?
151
00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:58,572
Someone as confident as Turk
152
00:07:58,644 --> 00:08:00,874
or as brave as Dr. Cox or as...
153
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:06,818
I'm sorry, I don't know your husband.
What are some of his good qualities?
154
00:08:06,886 --> 00:08:10,413
Well, he was a roadie for Jimi Hendrix,
and when it rains,
155
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,253
he carries me to the car.
156
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,158
And you guys have
been together, what, 60 years?
157
00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:17,696
I'm 48, and I'm done here.
158
00:08:19,165 --> 00:08:20,928
My bad. Yeah.
159
00:08:21,567 --> 00:08:23,432
I don't want Keith to go.
160
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:26,063
Elliot, I don't want Keith to go!
[Crying]
161
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:28,140
There, there.
162
00:08:29,308 --> 00:08:33,677
What? "I'm pregnant. I'm crying.
I'm laughing." Enough already!
163
00:08:33,779 --> 00:08:34,905
It's boring.
164
00:08:36,282 --> 00:08:38,147
Listen up, nametags.
165
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:41,186
I need to wire some cash
to my son so he can make bail.
166
00:08:41,287 --> 00:08:45,451
Apparently, the musical he was producing
was just a front for a crystal meth lab.
167
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:49,484
Here's the kicker: He fled to Toronto.
The freaking Mounties are involved.
168
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:53,931
Anyhoo, I need somebody to
zip out to my house and grab $400.
169
00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,466
I'll do it.
170
00:08:55,535 --> 00:08:58,060
I shouldn't be mopping here anyway.
This is a rug.
171
00:08:58,704 --> 00:09:01,070
[Sloshing]
172
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:02,869
Don't let him in your house, sir.
173
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:05,968
He'll steal everything you've got
like he stole my camera.
174
00:09:06,045 --> 00:09:08,377
You know the difference
between you and me?
175
00:09:08,447 --> 00:09:10,813
Your melon-sized prostate, sir?
176
00:09:10,917 --> 00:09:14,478
I will never fear this man.
177
00:09:14,587 --> 00:09:18,148
- You think I'm afraid of you, chief?
- No, sir, I do not.
178
00:09:18,224 --> 00:09:21,955
Look, I keep my extra cash in a pickle
jar on the top shelf over the sink.
179
00:09:25,932 --> 00:09:30,198
Enid wants that jar so bad
she can taste it. [chuckling]
180
00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:31,531
Oh, right.
181
00:09:31,604 --> 00:09:35,438
You don't remember she's paralyzed
and can't stand out of her wheelchair.
182
00:09:35,508 --> 00:09:38,443
- That's why you're not laughing.
- No, Bob.
183
00:09:38,511 --> 00:09:41,071
We're not laughing
because we're all horrified.
184
00:09:42,114 --> 00:09:43,775
Well, it tickles me.
185
00:09:45,818 --> 00:09:48,343
[Sloshing]
186
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,911
Huh.
187
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:54,589
OK, honey, I know Elliot upset you
with this whole Keith thing,
188
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:56,127
but listen,
189
00:09:56,195 --> 00:10:00,461
we're all gonna be extra, extra
sensitive so you don't get riled up, OK?
190
00:10:01,233 --> 00:10:03,724
I'm wearing red.
Should I not be wearing red?
191
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:05,771
She's pregnant, she's not a bull.
192
00:10:05,871 --> 00:10:08,567
I know you think I'm just
being crazy, but Elliot,
193
00:10:08,641 --> 00:10:11,405
you should not give up on Keith.
194
00:10:11,510 --> 00:10:14,809
You say he's not strong enough because
he gets stepped on at work,
195
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,643
but that's what it's like.
196
00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:20,049
You're doing what we do when we
get into a serious relationship,
197
00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:22,417
freaking out and
trying to poke holes in it.
198
00:10:22,488 --> 00:10:25,787
Remember when I started dating Turk
and I wanted to bail on him
199
00:10:25,858 --> 00:10:27,689
because he cried at the end of sex?
200
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,819
- Baby!
- Relax, Brown Bear.
201
00:10:29,895 --> 00:10:32,056
There's no shame in cry-maxing.
202
00:10:32,131 --> 00:10:35,658
And you know how hard
single life can be. Just ask Kim.
203
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,498
Wait. Kim's single?
204
00:10:37,570 --> 00:10:39,834
Yeah. She's been divorced
for over a year.
205
00:10:39,905 --> 00:10:42,874
She wears the ring at the hospital
so she doesn't get hit on.
206
00:10:42,975 --> 00:10:44,738
Turk, keys!
207
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,013
Yahtzee!
208
00:10:56,422 --> 00:10:59,721
Hey, girl. What are you doing?
Want to get some coffee later?
209
00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:02,522
- And then, the ultimate Cox-block.
- [Cox whistles]
210
00:11:02,595 --> 00:11:05,325
Hey. Why isn't Mr. Peters
in there getting surgery?
211
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,161
I decided against it.
212
00:11:07,233 --> 00:11:10,168
She thought it would be best
if I treated him medically.
213
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:13,694
First of all, Newbie,
nobody's ever thought that, ever.
214
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:16,241
Secondly, she's a cutter.
215
00:11:16,308 --> 00:11:19,334
When is the last time you met
a cutter who didn't want to cut?
216
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:23,508
Laverne, you've been here 40 years now.
You ever heard of such a thing?
217
00:11:23,582 --> 00:11:26,142
I'm gonna kill somebody.
218
00:11:26,218 --> 00:11:29,585
I guess we all get mad when people
say things we don't want to hear.
219
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,316
Elliot!
220
00:11:31,390 --> 00:11:34,154
I'm sorry, but you can't
leave until you promise me
221
00:11:34,226 --> 00:11:35,955
you'll think about it with Keith.
222
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:40,192
Oh, my God, Carla! Will you
please just butt out of this one?
223
00:11:42,768 --> 00:11:45,134
Especially when things feel a bit fishy.
224
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,733
- Here's your cash.
- Oh, thanks.
225
00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,743
Hey, is that a new coat?
226
00:11:51,811 --> 00:11:53,506
Yeah. Just picked it up.
227
00:11:53,579 --> 00:11:55,638
Where did you get the money to buy it?
228
00:11:55,715 --> 00:11:58,980
Mmm, I don't think that's
any business of yours.
229
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:07,023
Still, it's always good
to hear the truth.
230
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:10,027
Surgery is really
the only thing that has a shot
231
00:12:10,096 --> 00:12:11,654
at curing this guy,
232
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:14,199
and the reason that
she's not going to do it
233
00:12:14,266 --> 00:12:17,599
is he's older and has heart issues,
which makes him high risk.
234
00:12:17,670 --> 00:12:21,606
And if he were to drop dead
on her operating table, well,
235
00:12:21,674 --> 00:12:24,734
that would make her
surgery stats go down.
236
00:12:24,810 --> 00:12:29,179
And that wouldn't look very good on
a young doctor's résumé, would it?
237
00:12:29,281 --> 00:12:32,614
Even if it means losing respect
for someone you might like.
238
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,415
What can I say? You got me.
239
00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:37,922
Damn.
240
00:12:42,661 --> 00:12:45,391
Hold on. Dr. Turk,
241
00:12:45,464 --> 00:12:49,423
I covered your gastric-bypass patient
last night. He left a message for you.
242
00:12:49,502 --> 00:12:53,233
- What'd he say?
- You are square.
243
00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:57,135
- [Greasers laughing]
- [Tires squealing]
244
00:13:00,079 --> 00:13:02,377
Stupid greasers.
245
00:13:02,448 --> 00:13:03,915
Oh, here comes Kim.
246
00:13:03,983 --> 00:13:05,644
She had all night to think.
247
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:08,551
She'll probably be
in a shame spiral. Let's enjoy it.
248
00:13:08,621 --> 00:13:11,749
- Oh, hey, fellas, how you living?
- Large!
249
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:13,985
What!
250
00:13:15,194 --> 00:13:17,128
What, was I not supposed to answer?
251
00:13:17,196 --> 00:13:19,926
I wasn't the only one
having relationship problems.
252
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,834
Sorry about the way I left last night.
253
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,336
We're OK, right?
254
00:13:25,404 --> 00:13:28,737
Until you receive further notice,
consider us not speaking.
255
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:32,767
I know you took my money
to buy that ridiculous coat.
256
00:13:32,845 --> 00:13:35,313
I bet you can't prove it.
257
00:13:38,751 --> 00:13:41,982
Enid, you are my eyewitness.
258
00:13:42,054 --> 00:13:45,080
Did he take more than $400?
259
00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,524
Enid, is that a new pantsuit?
260
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:51,826
You think you're
pretty smart, don't you?
261
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:55,458
All I think is that leather
never goes out of style,
262
00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:59,095
and if you keep money in a pickle jar,
you should know how much is there,
263
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:02,106
and it won't hurt to buy your invalid
wife something nice
264
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,039
so she can feel pretty.
265
00:14:04,109 --> 00:14:07,738
These are just general thoughts
about life, nothing specific to you.
266
00:14:10,649 --> 00:14:13,550
- Mmm, that was nice. Thank you.
- That wasn't me.
267
00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:15,746
- Hey, dudes.
- Don't "hey, dudes" us.
268
00:14:15,821 --> 00:14:19,382
- You know what bothers me?
- Non-threatening colloquial greetings?
269
00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:23,952
It bothers me that a doctor won't help a
patient so she could keep her stats up.
270
00:14:24,029 --> 00:14:25,997
- Yeah!
- Look, J.D.
271
00:14:26,065 --> 00:14:28,898
Surgery's competitive.
We do what we must to get ahead.
272
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,663
My best friend here's a surgeon,
273
00:14:30,736 --> 00:14:33,899
and he'd never pass
on risky surgery to keep his stats up.
274
00:14:33,973 --> 00:14:36,134
Actually, I have done that.
275
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,802
- Everyone has.
- Oh, my God!
276
00:14:38,878 --> 00:14:41,847
Out of here! Dr. Cox, please weigh in.
277
00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:45,680
Well, it's no secret how I feel
about surgeons. I hate them.
278
00:14:45,784 --> 00:14:48,480
I'd liken them to rocks,
but that would insult rocks
279
00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:52,081
because, you see, at least rocks
are useful to society.
280
00:14:52,157 --> 00:14:56,457
We build bridges, throw them at guys
wearing phones clipped to their heads.
281
00:14:56,528 --> 00:15:00,191
It's a phone. You can't do this?
282
00:15:00,266 --> 00:15:03,724
- However...
- Now, back to the crux of the matter.
283
00:15:03,802 --> 00:15:05,531
Hit her, Per!
284
00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:08,971
However, it is not Dr. Briggs' fault
285
00:15:09,041 --> 00:15:11,066
that she works in a broken system.
286
00:15:11,143 --> 00:15:13,907
Top hospitals are only
interested in hiring surgeons
287
00:15:14,013 --> 00:15:15,503
who they think are flawless.
288
00:15:15,581 --> 00:15:17,913
That's not the answer you
thought you'd hear,
289
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,645
but as always, I don't care.
290
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:24,721
Thank God he didn't see this.
291
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:28,123
Yeah, Mom, I was listening
the whole time. I just couldn't talk.
292
00:15:28,193 --> 00:15:30,684
[Groans]
293
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:35,530
[Kelso whistles]
294
00:15:35,601 --> 00:15:39,765
Looks like somebody took their new
titanium eight iron with a leather grip
295
00:15:39,838 --> 00:15:42,534
and went to town on your van.
296
00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,269
Well done, sir.
297
00:15:44,343 --> 00:15:46,709
What? You think I did it?
298
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:49,474
Too bad you can't prove it.
299
00:15:49,548 --> 00:15:51,277
Really?
300
00:15:53,319 --> 00:15:55,480
I think I need to take more...
301
00:15:55,554 --> 00:15:57,283
... blood.
302
00:15:57,356 --> 00:15:59,324
What the hell is this?
303
00:15:59,425 --> 00:16:02,724
It's Dorian's camera. This must be
a scene from Dr. Acula.
304
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:06,731
You ain't taking no more blood
from my ho-slapping hand.
305
00:16:06,799 --> 00:16:09,700
I will pimp slap you!
306
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:12,532
This feels really racist, J.D.
307
00:16:12,638 --> 00:16:15,163
- Why can't I be a vampire?
- Because it's my movie!
308
00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:19,734
Now, let's take it from the top and
I'm not gonna ask you again, blacker!
309
00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:21,245
- Blacker.
- Yes, please.
310
00:16:21,313 --> 00:16:22,837
- Blacker.
- [J.D. Screaming]
311
00:16:23,882 --> 00:16:25,577
[Hissing]
312
00:16:28,787 --> 00:16:30,152
Now comes the good part.
313
00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:32,489
Prove that!
314
00:16:32,558 --> 00:16:34,890
And that! And that!
315
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:38,225
And that! And that!
316
00:16:39,231 --> 00:16:41,324
Yeah!
317
00:16:42,267 --> 00:16:43,962
What do you want?
318
00:16:47,573 --> 00:16:49,541
So, hey, I thought you
might be hungry.
319
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:52,099
You enjoyed the pancakes
I left on the computer?
320
00:16:52,177 --> 00:16:56,011
No, but I enjoyed the 3,000 ants
crawling on my keyboard.
321
00:16:56,081 --> 00:16:58,049
There's two doing it on the F button.
322
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:01,085
I could be wrong,
but it looks like two girls.
323
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:04,316
- What do you want, Elliot?
- I wanted to apologize.
324
00:17:04,423 --> 00:17:06,789
- Well, save it.
- Look, Carla, I...
325
00:17:06,859 --> 00:17:09,225
You must be bored
with this friendship
326
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:11,353
when all you do
is take, take, take.
327
00:17:11,430 --> 00:17:14,456
The most embarrassing thing is
you don't realize you do it.
328
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,501
Because, at the end of the day,
329
00:17:16,568 --> 00:17:20,265
you're nothing but a spoiled, selfish,
neurotic girl from Connecticut
330
00:17:20,339 --> 00:17:22,398
who has absolutely
no idea how to...
331
00:17:22,474 --> 00:17:24,135
OK, that's enough!
332
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:27,542
I don't know what you are fighting
about, but it doesn't matter.
333
00:17:27,613 --> 00:17:31,743
No one's allowed to be that mean to my
girl, especially when she's apologizing.
334
00:17:31,817 --> 00:17:36,083
- Are we clear?
- [JD] Nobody speaks to Carla like that.
335
00:17:36,155 --> 00:17:38,123
It was cool getting to know you, man.
336
00:17:40,292 --> 00:17:42,783
The irony was Keith was
yelling at the one woman
337
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:44,988
who was trying
to save his relationship.
338
00:17:46,231 --> 00:17:48,131
I'm sorry, Elliot.
339
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:51,226
And even more ironic
was that it looked like she had.
340
00:17:52,137 --> 00:17:55,231
- Thanks for standing up for me.
- Yeah, totally.
341
00:17:57,176 --> 00:18:00,145
I think Elliot finally seeing
who Keith really was
342
00:18:00,212 --> 00:18:02,772
made me understand
why I was so upset with Kim.
343
00:18:02,881 --> 00:18:07,045
[# Aqualung: Easier to Lie]
344
00:18:08,987 --> 00:18:10,545
Look who's happy again.
345
00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:13,420
- Yeah, well, it's just...
- J.D., one sec.
346
00:18:13,525 --> 00:18:16,289
I'm on the phone with my mom.
She just got her RV fixed.
347
00:18:16,395 --> 00:18:19,421
Mom, I gotta go.
You can call me from the road.
348
00:18:20,232 --> 00:18:21,665
My mom loves the road.
349
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:25,235
I finally figured out
what bothers me so much about you.
350
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:27,272
Well, lay it on me, studly.
351
00:18:27,339 --> 00:18:31,002
It's the way you're so concerned
about protecting yourself.
352
00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:36,142
I mean, no one in this entire hospital
has a bad thing to say about you,
353
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:40,777
and I'm guessing that's because you're
careful not to rub anyone the wrong way.
354
00:18:41,687 --> 00:18:44,451
And you still wear your wedding ring.
355
00:18:44,523 --> 00:18:47,822
That prevents any guy
from getting anywhere near you.
356
00:18:47,893 --> 00:18:49,861
You wouldn't operate on Mr. Peters,
357
00:18:49,928 --> 00:18:53,659
and we both know how you're
protecting yourself there.
358
00:18:53,732 --> 00:18:58,169
I don't know. I guess, in the grand
scheme of things, it's not a big deal.
359
00:18:58,237 --> 00:19:01,468
I was a little disappointed to find out
who you turned out to be.
360
00:19:03,609 --> 00:19:05,543
I'll see you around, Kim.
361
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,511
See you.
362
00:19:13,852 --> 00:19:16,013
- I don't want to do this.
- No problem.
363
00:19:16,088 --> 00:19:17,817
I'll give the tape to the police.
364
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:21,758
Ladies and gentleman, this is
your chief of medicine, Bob Kelso.
365
00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:25,388
"I feel compelled
to tell you that I do,
366
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,658
in fact, fear the Janitor.
367
00:19:27,733 --> 00:19:32,295
Honestly, is there anyone else
with such a brilliant mind?"
368
00:19:32,404 --> 00:19:33,962
You planned this, didn't you?
369
00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:37,304
The whole being mean thing,
so that Keith would stand up for me.
370
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:40,307
Oh, thanks.
371
00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:47,883
- You didn't plan a damn thing, did you?
- No, I snapped like a twig.
372
00:19:47,953 --> 00:19:49,978
Please don't tell her.
373
00:19:52,724 --> 00:19:55,693
Anyway, I guess people
can always surprise you.
374
00:19:56,094 --> 00:19:58,255
Who's Dr. Briggs operating on?
375
00:19:58,330 --> 00:20:00,195
Your patient, Mr. Peters.
376
00:20:00,265 --> 00:20:04,031
"So please join me in basking
377
00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:07,128
in the glow of the Janitor's awesome:
378
00:20:08,073 --> 00:20:10,735
...this isn't a word.
- Read it.
379
00:20:11,243 --> 00:20:14,872
"Fearitude." Good night.
380
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:20,778
[Imitating Edward Murrow]
And good luck. I loved that movie.
381
00:20:22,854 --> 00:20:25,687
I saw you did that surgery
on Mr. Peters.
382
00:20:27,226 --> 00:20:29,592
Did you decide
it was the right thing to do?
383
00:20:30,495 --> 00:20:33,623
No, actually, it was
a stupid career risk.
384
00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:36,090
Then why'd you do it?
385
00:20:38,203 --> 00:20:40,967
Because for some reason,
I find myself
386
00:20:41,039 --> 00:20:43,803
really caring about
what you think of me.
387
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,247
Oh.
388
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:56,814
Cool.
389
00:21:04,229 --> 00:21:06,197
[Kim chuckles]