1 00:00:01,825 --> 00:00:03,089 Well, I don't get it, sir. 2 00:00:03,090 --> 00:00:07,452 Why do our doctors have to put a picture of themselves in their patients' rooms? 3 00:00:07,512 --> 00:00:10,693 'Cause, Ted, not only does it make our doctors more accountable, 4 00:00:10,694 --> 00:00:13,473 but a recent AMA study showed that it helps our patients 5 00:00:13,474 --> 00:00:15,379 feel much closer bond with their phisician. 6 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:18,795 Plus, who would mark this young bucketer bedside. 7 00:00:19,548 --> 00:00:22,591 That picture's so old that beaches are still segregated. 8 00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:26,028 Look, they got us way in the back, 9 00:00:26,457 --> 00:00:27,655 doesn't that bother you? 10 00:00:27,995 --> 00:00:29,545 Good God I'm stunning. 11 00:00:29,874 --> 00:00:32,070 Besides, have you seen everyone else's picture? 12 00:00:34,324 --> 00:00:35,111 Turk! 13 00:00:35,598 --> 00:00:37,700 Baby, ain't nobody lookin' at you. 14 00:00:40,790 --> 00:00:41,985 Where was that taken? 15 00:00:42,079 --> 00:00:44,075 Sears. Do you want a copy? 16 00:00:45,332 --> 00:00:48,068 Dr. Cox and I were both taking care of Private Dancer. 17 00:00:48,619 --> 00:00:52,535 See, I went with a younger picture, 'cause Ilike the father/son motif. 18 00:00:52,581 --> 00:00:54,563 That is taken seconds after I won 19 00:00:54,564 --> 00:00:57,894 the watermelon seed spitting contest at my theatre camp. 20 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,089 Probably my happiest day as a tennager. 21 00:01:01,442 --> 00:01:05,480 That is both very sad and, not the least, bit shocking. 22 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:08,322 So, Brian, since we found they're getting you discharged, we came to say goodbye. 23 00:01:08,522 --> 00:01:09,537 What's next for you, man? 24 00:01:09,995 --> 00:01:11,181 I'm goin' back in the army. 25 00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:14,234 I know it's gonna take a lot of phisical therapy, but... 26 00:01:14,833 --> 00:01:16,007 that's where I belong, you know. 27 00:01:17,122 --> 00:01:18,320 All the best, dear soldier-boy. 28 00:01:18,321 --> 00:01:20,810 Brian cared abot one goodbye more than others. 29 00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:22,829 Hey, uhm, would-would you sign this? 30 00:01:24,505 --> 00:01:26,853 I promise you I'll...put that up in barracks. 31 00:01:27,291 --> 00:01:28,985 So d'you want me to start it with I can still walk normally 32 00:01:28,986 --> 00:01:32,632 and then sag away into an anecdote about how you play my tush like a bunghole 33 00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:34,511 until i cry down in pleasure-pain? 34 00:01:34,808 --> 00:01:35,348 Sorry? 35 00:01:35,818 --> 00:01:38,707 Your army buddies are gonna see it, I assumed...you wanted it filthy. 36 00:01:39,211 --> 00:01:40,972 No...filthy is cool. 37 00:01:44,665 --> 00:01:45,839 ccc 38 00:01:45,992 --> 00:01:48,258 Private Dancer, more like 39 00:01:48,287 --> 00:01:51,516 Man, he sure has a positive outlook on life! 40 00:01:52,039 --> 00:01:52,896 Right? 41 00:01:52,990 --> 00:01:54,070 Carla, you're a rascal, 42 00:01:54,094 --> 00:01:57,264 I can't help it notice young love-making jokes 43 00:01:57,311 --> 00:02:01,892 What the...what the devil was that you were saying about your coffee? 44 00:02:02,096 --> 00:02:04,117 I said: "It's so good it's like crack!" 45 00:02:06,534 --> 00:02:09,058 I'm telling you guys, it really is. 46 00:02:11,276 --> 00:02:14,091 You would hear crickets chirping, but they were too uncomfortable 47 00:02:14,092 --> 00:02:17,005 about just how unfunny that actually was. 48 00:02:17,293 --> 00:02:18,737 So what, I'm not funny? 49 00:02:19,002 --> 00:02:20,367 Oh, I think you're very funny, 50 00:02:20,368 --> 00:02:23,578 when you're being sarcastic or you're up on your high horse. 51 00:02:23,757 --> 00:02:26,751 You know, as long as you stay right in your wheel house. 52 00:02:26,857 --> 00:02:28,688 And it's no different for any of us. 53 00:02:29,152 --> 00:02:32,382 Barbie is funniest when she's an anal retentive train wreck, 54 00:02:32,401 --> 00:02:34,739 your husband sells it with a cocky attitude. 55 00:02:34,774 --> 00:02:38,171 Yeah, ya know, I do what I do when I do what I do. 56 00:02:38,402 --> 00:02:41,645 The janitor is amusing because quite frankly he's insane. 57 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:43,444 I made shoes for my rabbit. 58 00:02:43,608 --> 00:02:47,420 And Alice here, well, she can turn a phrase. 59 00:02:48,420 --> 00:02:51,508 I assume that because I just called you Alice, 60 00:02:52,077 --> 00:02:55,858 that you're now fantasizing about me being the maid in the Brady bunch... 61 00:02:56,991 --> 00:02:57,747 Am I right? 62 00:02:59,204 --> 00:03:00,132 He was. 63 00:03:00,379 --> 00:03:03,019 Now sadly, some people just aren't funny, but... 64 00:03:03,355 --> 00:03:05,703 they have got funny names. For example: 65 00:03:06,244 --> 00:03:11,057 Dr. Beardface, Dr. Mickhead, Colonel Doctor and Snoop Dogg Intern. 66 00:03:11,058 --> 00:03:11,651 Hey, hey. 67 00:03:11,709 --> 00:03:13,393 My bad, Snoop Dog Resident. 68 00:03:13,394 --> 00:03:17,744 The Todd is a sexual deviant, Laverne believes in God, which is hilarious to me, 69 00:03:17,745 --> 00:03:20,610 and Ted is the hospital sad sack. 70 00:03:21,015 --> 00:03:22,138 - I am? - Yes. 71 00:03:22,139 --> 00:03:23,346 Awwwwww. 72 00:03:23,545 --> 00:03:26,884 And me, well, I'm funny because I commit. 73 00:03:26,885 --> 00:03:33,988 C-O-M-M-I-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T-T...T 74 00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:37,612 I also do, uh, funny rants. 75 00:03:37,934 --> 00:03:40,627 To tell you the truth, there is only one guy in this entire dump 76 00:03:40,721 --> 00:03:42,704 who is funny no matter what he says. 77 00:03:42,803 --> 00:03:45,373 Holy hell, are my new boxers made of wool? 78 00:03:45,790 --> 00:03:47,668 Because my weasel's getting heat stroke! 79 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,444 The point is: 80 00:03:51,543 --> 00:03:55,338 please, don't tell any more jokes. 81 00:03:57,684 --> 00:04:01,538 - I'm not a sad sack, am I? - Ted, your pen exploded. 82 00:04:01,823 --> 00:04:03,197 Awwww. 83 00:04:03,684 --> 00:04:04,938 Awwwwwwwwwww. 84 00:04:06,159 --> 00:04:08,956 - Bitches, leave! - It's go-time. 85 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:12,568 No no no no no...we're playing "Guess the movie quote". That was from Robocop. 86 00:04:13,444 --> 00:04:14,664 It's my turn. 87 00:04:16,167 --> 00:04:18,655 - "I could've got more out ..." - "Schindler's List". 88 00:04:19,031 --> 00:04:22,956 I took my college girlfriend Stacy Blue to see that on our first date. 89 00:04:23,087 --> 00:04:26,026 I cried, she didn't. Always thought that was weird. 90 00:04:26,272 --> 00:04:28,535 - I remember Stacy... - Of course you do, Turk, 91 00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:32,788 - you banged her while I was in Theology. - For the hundredth time, nothing happened! 92 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:35,624 We had a water-balloon fight, got wet and took our clothes off. 93 00:04:35,625 --> 00:04:38,282 - You walked in and thought the worst. - There were no water balloons. 94 00:04:38,357 --> 00:04:40,996 I looked, no balloons. You know what, I'm tired of this story. 95 00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:43,667 I have Stacy's number on my phone, I'm gonna call her 96 00:04:43,668 --> 00:04:45,812 - and we'll throw it up once and for all. - Call her! 97 00:04:46,489 --> 00:04:47,737 Hi, Mrs. Blue? 98 00:04:48,171 --> 00:04:50,258 Hi, it's, uhm, Dr. John Dorian, 99 00:04:50,259 --> 00:04:53,878 I dated your beautiful daughter, Stacy, when we were in college. 100 00:04:56,111 --> 00:04:57,011 She's dead? 101 00:04:58,825 --> 00:05:02,269 - She fell asleep in the pool? - Oh, my God! 102 00:05:03,284 --> 00:05:06,308 Incidentally did she ever mention banging a black guy... 103 00:05:06,309 --> 00:05:10,195 when she was in college? Had a high top fade like Kid'n'Play. 104 00:05:11,538 --> 00:05:15,209 Kid, Kid, Kid'n'Play, you know, they were a rap group. Your dead daughter loved them. 105 00:05:17,180 --> 00:05:19,856 - Hello?! - Real smooth! 106 00:05:20,241 --> 00:05:23,189 You know what, Turk, I wouldn't mess with me on watermelon day. 107 00:05:23,903 --> 00:05:27,790 - Ooohhhhh! - Aahh! I've just changed my shirt! 108 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:29,236 My chicken! 109 00:05:29,237 --> 00:05:30,579 Itasa Team Scrubs proudly presents 110 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:34,044 Scrubs - Season 06 Episode 12 My Fishbowl VO subtitles 111 00:05:34,045 --> 00:05:37,212 Transcript: gi0v3, Tania, JohnDorian, Dharmagirl 112 00:05:37,213 --> 00:05:39,710 Sync: R!ck, gi0v3 113 00:05:39,711 --> 00:05:42,548 Revision: gi0v3 114 00:05:42,549 --> 00:05:45,178 ::Italian Subs Addicted:: [www.italiansubs.net] 115 00:05:45,430 --> 00:05:46,979 JD, come on, let's go! 116 00:05:48,406 --> 00:05:51,345 - Where did you get that fish? - Mr. Roth, who owns the pet store... 117 00:05:51,514 --> 00:05:52,971 he's so excited to be in remission, 118 00:05:52,972 --> 00:05:55,844 he got all the doctors who helped him out a pet as a thank you. 119 00:05:56,142 --> 00:05:58,828 - Who else worked on that case? - Snoop Dog Resident. 120 00:05:59,579 --> 00:06:02,208 My Hoos are gonna love this. 121 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,239 Hey, why are you checking Private Dancer's blood sugar? 122 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,617 - He's being discharged. - Not yet, he isn't. 123 00:06:11,654 --> 00:06:13,495 They had just found him unconscious. 124 00:06:13,823 --> 00:06:14,734 Could you hold this? 125 00:06:17,222 --> 00:06:19,212 - Oh, damn! -What? 126 00:06:20,085 --> 00:06:22,098 I don't know if it's old age that's slowing me down, 127 00:06:22,099 --> 00:06:24,676 or maybe all that blood I lost last night fighting that hobo, 128 00:06:24,677 --> 00:06:26,320 but I just blew that. I should have said, 129 00:06:26,638 --> 00:06:30,357 "You think my job is so unimportant that I can stand around all day holding a fish?" 130 00:06:30,573 --> 00:06:35,352 I can have you all moppy tonight, when we're out clubbing and on throwing me off my game. 131 00:06:35,835 --> 00:06:37,137 Fine. I'll wait here 132 00:06:37,313 --> 00:06:39,240 - and do this thing right. - Ok. 133 00:06:45,394 --> 00:06:48,595 Well, it was quite scaring, but he's stable and breathing now. 134 00:06:48,896 --> 00:06:51,816 - What happened? - I'm hoping one of you will figure it out. 135 00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,548 He is low on meds carton. 136 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,337 Maybe some of the meds have just made his prescriptions up. 137 00:06:57,679 --> 00:06:59,153 He'll regain consciousness soon. 138 00:06:59,247 --> 00:07:01,275 - I'm gonna wait it up. - I wil too. 139 00:07:01,745 --> 00:07:04,777 - Keith is out of town, I can stay. - And so can we. 140 00:07:06,007 --> 00:07:06,984 No, we can't! 141 00:07:07,519 --> 00:07:10,759 Baby, remember? We're supposed to renew our relations tonight 142 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,304 - ...for the first time since Izzie was born. - Well, I guess the only thing 143 00:07:13,305 --> 00:07:15,952 you gonna renew tonight is your driver's licence. Hello? 144 00:07:17,707 --> 00:07:19,989 - Wow! - I'm funny, damn it! 145 00:07:20,402 --> 00:07:25,857 Maybe you not being able to have sex tonight is Karmic payback for having sex with Stacy. 146 00:07:26,130 --> 00:07:28,590 - JD, drop it! - What happened that night? 147 00:07:29,444 --> 00:07:31,003 This is how I remember it: 148 00:07:31,397 --> 00:07:34,721 I was coming down from class and outside my room I heard 149 00:07:34,919 --> 00:07:38,421 "Oh, my God, it's true what they say about black guys!" 150 00:07:38,882 --> 00:07:42,684 Then I open the door and I see you and Stacy. So I said: 151 00:07:43,023 --> 00:07:45,967 "Get off my girl before I kick your ass so deep, 152 00:07:45,968 --> 00:07:48,219 you won't be crappin' my kids for a week!" 153 00:07:48,487 --> 00:07:49,342 Then you said: 154 00:07:49,445 --> 00:07:52,788 "Chill out, doooog, you know you my boyyy! 155 00:07:53,492 --> 00:07:56,093 This ain't be what it looks like, aaaaight?" 156 00:07:56,816 --> 00:08:00,881 - But it wasn't aight, was it Turk? - This is what really happened. 157 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:05,494 Stacy and I were waiting for you to come back from class, and she said: 158 00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:08,076 "Hey, we should have a water-balloon fight!" 159 00:08:08,987 --> 00:08:11,936 We got all wet from the water balloons and Stacy was like: 160 00:08:12,443 --> 00:08:16,969 "Bbrr, I'm cold! Let's take off our clothes, get under the covers and warm up!" 161 00:08:18,763 --> 00:08:22,181 Then you came back from your class and you heard Stacy saying: 162 00:08:22,566 --> 00:08:26,000 "Oh, my God, it's true what they say about black guys!" 163 00:08:26,266 --> 00:08:27,785 Then you came in and said... 164 00:08:28,154 --> 00:08:29,545 "Uh, hey guys..." 165 00:08:30,595 --> 00:08:34,158 Calm down JD, this isn't what it looks like. 166 00:08:34,825 --> 00:08:35,776 Then I said: 167 00:08:36,188 --> 00:08:37,366 All right? 168 00:08:38,190 --> 00:08:41,682 - Nothing happened. So drop it. - No balloons! 169 00:08:42,207 --> 00:08:44,152 And we didn't even have a basketball! 170 00:08:44,365 --> 00:08:45,714 What the hell! 171 00:08:47,233 --> 00:08:49,291 Who changed my picture?! 172 00:08:49,532 --> 00:08:52,230 But it better not be like this in all the other rooms... 173 00:08:53,735 --> 00:08:55,495 Hey jerk, you think I got nothing better than... 174 00:08:56,049 --> 00:08:58,320 Sorry. Wrong jerk. 175 00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:03,402 Dorian. Take it forever and there... I should just... I' m gonna smash it! 176 00:09:04,495 --> 00:09:05,787 He knows that I'm gonna smash it. 177 00:09:06,454 --> 00:09:07,746 He wants me to smash it. 178 00:09:08,470 --> 00:09:12,431 He wants to prove that I can't "not smash" it. It's a head game. 179 00:09:12,970 --> 00:09:17,002 You're never gonna win a head game with me, Dorian. Never. Never! 180 00:09:19,045 --> 00:09:22,466 No, Turk, I know that face. Don't you dare make a foofy. 181 00:09:22,467 --> 00:09:25,078 Baby, I had a big whole lunch. Now I got to... 182 00:09:25,079 --> 00:09:27,577 - ... down town, push down. - No! 183 00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:29,493 - Can I just have a little one? - No. 184 00:09:33,284 --> 00:09:36,620 Oh, my God! You think farts are funny too? 185 00:09:36,776 --> 00:09:39,814 - We can't let them know! - Shhh. No, no. Not that, that. 186 00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:41,602 I changed his picture. 187 00:09:41,874 --> 00:09:43,086 He says I can't make jokes, 188 00:09:43,087 --> 00:09:45,066 - but that's funny, right? - Not really. 189 00:09:45,193 --> 00:09:47,990 I mean, those pictures are there to reassure the patients. 190 00:09:47,991 --> 00:09:52,163 I can't believe this! My picture's been changed in every single room. 191 00:09:52,164 --> 00:09:55,006 I mean, what the hell! If I wanted my patients to be more depressed, 192 00:09:55,007 --> 00:09:57,587 I'd just have them read noobie's latest blog entry! 193 00:09:57,588 --> 00:10:00,468 "Why being really lonely is sometimes super awesome?" 194 00:10:00,969 --> 00:10:01,977 Mm! 195 00:10:02,090 --> 00:10:06,264 - Why would anyone do this to me? - It's a mystery's what it is. 196 00:10:06,477 --> 00:10:10,892 I'm never surprised by what people will do. Or, for that matter... 197 00:10:11,190 --> 00:10:13,731 - ... who they will do. - I'm outta here! 198 00:10:15,108 --> 00:10:16,400 Bathroom break. 199 00:10:19,083 --> 00:10:20,389 Turk, don't go. 200 00:10:21,042 --> 00:10:24,378 Oh, you're right there, listening to my every move, aren't you? 201 00:10:24,789 --> 00:10:28,409 A small child vomited downstairs. It smells like pickles and milk. 202 00:10:28,594 --> 00:10:32,597 Sort of like one of Enid's burps. Consider it a chance for you to prove yourself. 203 00:10:35,763 --> 00:10:39,188 Yes sir. In fact it-Wait up! Let's work together. 204 00:10:39,189 --> 00:10:41,760 I'll tell you about my favorite stain. Let's turn this corner! 205 00:10:44,166 --> 00:10:45,430 Oh, you're good. 206 00:10:48,567 --> 00:10:51,547 Guys, I think I figured out what happened to Brian. 207 00:10:51,548 --> 00:10:55,168 This letter from the army says his injuries are too severe to let him back into service. 208 00:10:55,580 --> 00:10:57,284 The army is his life. 209 00:10:57,653 --> 00:11:00,336 He didn't take too many pills by accident. 210 00:11:00,478 --> 00:11:03,017 - He's tried to commit suicide. - We can't discharge him. 211 00:11:03,018 --> 00:11:04,388 We gotta get him one of the shrinks. 212 00:11:04,525 --> 00:11:08,344 The only way we can make him stay here is if he admits that he did it. 213 00:11:08,571 --> 00:11:10,246 Yeah, well, I didn't do it. 214 00:11:12,687 --> 00:11:16,548 It's like you said earlier. I must have mixed up my prescriptions. 215 00:11:16,549 --> 00:11:18,669 and taken too many of one. 216 00:11:18,670 --> 00:11:21,650 - How long have you been awake? - Long enough to know that you need to fart. 217 00:11:22,191 --> 00:11:24,476 and Carla is not funny, 218 00:11:24,803 --> 00:11:28,863 - and JD's imitation of a black guy is really racist. - He be trippin'? 219 00:11:30,155 --> 00:11:33,562 Brian, this is just a sad back. You can't let it take you to such a bad place. 220 00:11:33,563 --> 00:11:35,847 Aah!. Not a bad place. 221 00:11:35,972 --> 00:11:38,093 But if I were, it'd be understandable, right? 222 00:11:38,319 --> 00:11:41,043 Cause, what the hell do I have to live for? 223 00:11:41,142 --> 00:11:44,830 I mean, the only thing waiting for me in my crappy apartment is 224 00:11:45,056 --> 00:11:47,700 this whole disability chat to remind me 225 00:11:47,701 --> 00:11:51,164 that the only place that I ever felt like I really belonged doesn't want me anymore. 226 00:11:51,916 --> 00:11:54,947 But no worry. I'm sure there's a huge demand out there 227 00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:57,296 for a high school grad who can't sign his name 228 00:11:57,465 --> 00:12:00,244 and gets confused by stuff that won't phase a five year old. 229 00:12:02,056 --> 00:12:06,150 There is no happy future for me, so please, do not tell me it's all gonna turn around. 230 00:12:06,647 --> 00:12:09,314 Nobody's leavin'this room until you admit to us what you did. 231 00:12:09,895 --> 00:12:12,770 Why should I admit anything to you since you guys aren't, uhm... 232 00:12:12,945 --> 00:12:14,457 ...that truthful one to each other 233 00:12:14,785 --> 00:12:18,184 Sometimes to get the truth out of someone, you have to come clean yourself. 234 00:12:18,626 --> 00:12:20,935 Dr. Cox, I'm the one who switched your picture. 235 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:22,288 Carla! 236 00:12:23,058 --> 00:12:24,635 - I slept with Stacy. - I knew it! 237 00:12:24,823 --> 00:12:27,086 Of course some admissions you don't see coming. 238 00:12:27,922 --> 00:12:29,546 I once tried to kill myself. 239 00:12:37,146 --> 00:12:39,616 After Elliot told us that she attempted suicide, 240 00:12:39,879 --> 00:12:42,423 I had to ask the question that was on everybody's mind. 241 00:12:42,615 --> 00:12:44,078 Was that because I broke up with you? 242 00:12:44,981 --> 00:12:47,600 - No, JD. - Oh, good, good, good, good! 243 00:12:48,525 --> 00:12:50,312 I'm not even sure why I did it. 244 00:12:50,906 --> 00:12:53,735 These things just catch up with you, you know, you get lonely, not happy 245 00:12:53,736 --> 00:12:57,056 - with what's happening in your life... - An amazing guy breaks up with you... 246 00:12:57,115 --> 00:12:59,746 JD, this is not about you! I was sixteen! 247 00:13:00,355 --> 00:13:01,200 So how'd you tried it? 248 00:13:01,413 --> 00:13:03,971 - Brian! - Please, you 're dying to know! 249 00:13:03,972 --> 00:13:06,086 -Do I?! I'm not-- - Carla, it's fine! 250 00:13:07,216 --> 00:13:08,661 I was on the poetry back then, 251 00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:12,594 you know, Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf...I know, shocker, huh?! 252 00:13:12,595 --> 00:13:14,046 All they both kill themselves. 253 00:13:14,047 --> 00:13:15,775 Plath stuck her head in the oven 254 00:13:15,776 --> 00:13:19,401 but that was not an option for me, because everytime my head gets hot 255 00:13:19,402 --> 00:13:23,675 I need to pee and I was not about to be found lying in a puddle of my own urine. 256 00:13:23,797 --> 00:13:26,118 Not again, not after the prom fiasco. 257 00:13:26,194 --> 00:13:28,645 If you're still not sure why you tried to off yourself, 258 00:13:28,646 --> 00:13:30,814 I'm starting to get a pretty clear picture over here. 259 00:13:31,349 --> 00:13:36,953 So, I decided to do like Virginia Woolf, I walked into a lake and tried to drown myself. 260 00:13:36,954 --> 00:13:38,271 Cut a parley on a saturday, 261 00:13:38,272 --> 00:13:41,207 - put on my bikini.. - Wow, why would you wear a bikini? 262 00:13:41,538 --> 00:13:44,617 Oh, my one-piece was in the back of Coach Punjadi's car. 263 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:50,469 That story informs this one, but I'm not going to tell it...anyhow, 264 00:13:50,470 --> 00:13:54,503 ...I swam up to the middle of the lake, and I couldn't bring to myself to go under 265 00:13:54,504 --> 00:13:57,433 so I just started, you know, floating around... 266 00:13:57,631 --> 00:14:00,713 ...waiting to get tired, and then, BAM, BAM, BAM, BAM, 267 00:14:01,191 --> 00:14:04,835 I got hit in the head by four whores as our school's ralling team passed by. 268 00:14:05,264 --> 00:14:09,187 and then they just... picked me out of the lake and took me home. 269 00:14:09,468 --> 00:14:14,432 Oh no, Turk, I know that look, don't you dare to while Elliot is baring her soul. 270 00:14:14,433 --> 00:14:18,420 Oh baby, the pressure is building, no one on Earth is this uncomfortable. 271 00:14:19,823 --> 00:14:22,273 Oh, no! I have to pee! 272 00:14:23,082 --> 00:14:26,342 Come on, fight it man, think about something else, take your mind of it. 273 00:14:26,343 --> 00:14:33,693 Here we go, uh! It passed...and that's a big bowl of swishy liquid. Damn it! 274 00:14:37,081 --> 00:14:39,121 Look, Elliot, I appreciate what you trying to do 275 00:14:39,122 --> 00:14:42,342 but none of you guys has any idea what is like to feel this hopeless in your life. 276 00:14:42,645 --> 00:14:45,744 - You know other than JD. * People agree with Brian * 277 00:14:45,745 --> 00:14:50,207 - Wait, wait! What's happening? - Go, Brian, I know exactly how you're feeling, 278 00:14:50,208 --> 00:14:53,028 you should have seen me when I was dealing with post partum depression, 279 00:14:53,244 --> 00:14:54,568 I just wanted out! 280 00:14:54,737 --> 00:14:58,799 I'm so glad that I didn't do anything because I got on antidepressives 281 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,091 - and now I don't feel that way. - That's right! 282 00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:04,807 And my baby being happy is worth all the vaginal dryness in the world. 283 00:15:04,808 --> 00:15:09,085 And none of us would ever look at Carla the same way again. 284 00:15:10,421 --> 00:15:12,001 How long can he stay in there? 285 00:15:12,711 --> 00:15:15,582 I don't need anithing since I stole that hobo's pecan pie. 286 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:17,468 Come on, buddy! Get it together! 287 00:15:18,065 --> 00:15:20,505 How you doing? The name is Roger Dorsey. 288 00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:24,033 That's not real, I'm starting to lose it. 289 00:15:24,284 --> 00:15:25,541 How do you know I'm not real? 290 00:15:26,181 --> 00:15:28,039 Well, for one thing, you're just using my voice, 291 00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:30,697 only slightly higher, like this: "How you doing buddy?" 292 00:15:31,519 --> 00:15:34,453 Oh yeah? If I wasn't real, could I hit this note? 293 00:15:34,669 --> 00:15:38,557 * Fish hits an high note * 294 00:15:39,352 --> 00:15:40,367 That was lovely! 295 00:15:43,557 --> 00:15:46,987 We all have those bleed moments when we swear we'll never bounce back... 296 00:15:48,005 --> 00:15:52,804 Like when I was seventeen, my mom walked in my room with I look that I'd never seen 297 00:15:54,270 --> 00:15:59,181 she said "It's over Turk, Micheal Jordan's career is over." 298 00:15:59,629 --> 00:16:03,651 - Is anyone a bigger idiot than you? - Is he the black golfer? 299 00:16:04,383 --> 00:16:06,410 My point is we don't know what the future holds. 300 00:16:06,411 --> 00:16:09,333 Yeah, well, I know what my future holds, if I hold this fart in any longer! 301 00:16:09,414 --> 00:16:10,757 I wonder what would happen. 302 00:16:10,822 --> 00:16:13,300 - Fine. Let me move out the way! - And everybody clear back! 303 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:21,074 Advertise your product or brand here contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today 304 00:16:27,081 --> 00:16:29,451 If only I had a satellite I could have ridden you. 305 00:16:31,545 --> 00:16:33,179 Never seen 'em alive, were they good? 306 00:16:34,766 --> 00:16:37,885 If you are wondering why I'm wearing these... 307 00:16:37,886 --> 00:16:42,346 ...It's partly because at the Kelso family Christmas we all pick one name 308 00:16:42,347 --> 00:16:45,669 out of the hat to buy a gift for, and I was lucky enough 309 00:16:45,670 --> 00:16:49,777 to be chosen by my son Harrison's new life partner RayRay. 310 00:16:50,005 --> 00:16:52,456 The other reason is that my work shoes 311 00:16:52,457 --> 00:16:55,564 are coated in the taddler vomit I told you to clean up earlier. 312 00:16:56,399 --> 00:16:58,619 Now, are you going to get on it or am I dogging your pay? 313 00:16:59,284 --> 00:17:03,406 You do what you have to do sir, Roger Dorsey and are seeing this thing till finish. 314 00:17:04,251 --> 00:17:07,932 Roger Dorsey was my squad leader Vietnam, he died in my arms. 315 00:17:08,430 --> 00:17:09,904 Tell Bob I love him. 316 00:17:12,608 --> 00:17:16,505 Guys, it's been really great to sharing, really, but, I... I gotta get dressed. 317 00:17:16,721 --> 00:17:20,252 You win. I see your point. Here is the name of a really good... 318 00:17:21,328 --> 00:17:23,296 - ...therapist. - Look, I know, 319 00:17:23,297 --> 00:17:24,896 uhm, you think I owe it to myself? 320 00:17:24,897 --> 00:17:27,666 Please! Who cares about you? 321 00:17:28,483 --> 00:17:31,309 Never mind the fact that we've been busting our asses 322 00:17:31,310 --> 00:17:33,976 trying to take care of you every day for the last three weeks. 323 00:17:33,977 --> 00:17:36,859 I mean, for God's sake, if I've known back then 324 00:17:36,860 --> 00:17:40,446 that you were just gonna go ahead and give up, I would have saved myself a huge hassle, 325 00:17:40,447 --> 00:17:43,357 smothered you with a pillow and spent all my extra time catching up 326 00:17:43,358 --> 00:17:44,690 on Noobie's pathetic blog. 327 00:17:45,338 --> 00:17:48,850 Oh, my God, he referenced me in a tough love speech. Stop smiling! 328 00:17:49,235 --> 00:17:52,700 So, no, Brian, no! You don't owe anything to yourself, but... 329 00:17:53,667 --> 00:17:55,573 you damn sure owe to each one of us. 330 00:17:57,537 --> 00:17:58,429 All right, then. 331 00:18:01,593 --> 00:18:02,504 I'll call him. 332 00:18:05,142 --> 00:18:09,302 Brrrr! Ahhhh! Damn crap! Auch, auh, auh, auh! 333 00:18:13,771 --> 00:18:16,935 You think that's funny? Making me kill that helpless little animal? 334 00:18:16,936 --> 00:18:19,348 If you didn't wanna hold it for me you could have put it on the counter. 335 00:18:20,072 --> 00:18:24,626 Me? No! You, you were... I tried... I hadn't... 336 00:18:26,005 --> 00:18:27,902 Rayray? I started to... 337 00:18:27,958 --> 00:18:30,306 It's so cold! 338 00:18:31,593 --> 00:18:34,090 Roger? Rog? Stay with me buddy! 339 00:18:34,250 --> 00:18:36,578 This isn't now. Go get me some water. 340 00:18:39,997 --> 00:18:43,959 Now, when Brian had turned the corner allowed us had to get back to our own present issues. 341 00:18:44,945 --> 00:18:47,870 I can't believe you are pissed about Stacy. If I could go back in time 342 00:18:47,871 --> 00:18:50,993 - and I'd sleep with her... I would! - Well, unfortunately she's dead, Turk! 343 00:18:50,994 --> 00:18:52,843 Congratulations! You win again. 344 00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:58,937 I don't care what you say, I'm as funny as anybody else in this place. 345 00:19:03,500 --> 00:19:04,993 Uhaahhh! 346 00:19:05,528 --> 00:19:07,162 That was actually pretty good! 347 00:19:09,500 --> 00:19:10,805 Hey Brian, wait up. 348 00:19:11,425 --> 00:19:14,223 You accidentally left that shrink's phone number in... 349 00:19:14,523 --> 00:19:17,181 - your room's trash can. - Uhm, whoops, okay. 350 00:19:17,182 --> 00:19:19,199 You gonna stop finding all my notes. 351 00:19:19,809 --> 00:19:21,650 You know what really helped me when I went through this? 352 00:19:22,852 --> 00:19:25,650 Elliot, you didn't go through this! 353 00:19:26,064 --> 00:19:30,261 You went for a leisurely afternoon drown and you got hit in the face with a paddle. 354 00:19:30,712 --> 00:19:33,952 I spent my entire childhood as an awkward lonely outcast. 355 00:19:34,139 --> 00:19:36,853 With a floody mum who liked to talk about how fat I was. 356 00:19:37,566 --> 00:19:41,594 I had zero self-esteem. I struggled with that for years. I still do. 357 00:19:42,344 --> 00:19:44,683 But the only difference between the two of us, 358 00:19:44,776 --> 00:19:47,668 is that I was smart enough to know that it's never too late to come back from. 359 00:19:49,706 --> 00:19:53,865 - I can't be what I used to be. - I don't even know that guy. 360 00:19:55,846 --> 00:19:57,752 I know this guy, and I like him. 361 00:19:59,076 --> 00:20:00,475 Ok, let me ask you something. 362 00:20:02,465 --> 00:20:06,587 I keep working on my rehab, and I get my act together. 363 00:20:07,564 --> 00:20:10,277 You think someone like you could go for someone like me? 364 00:20:12,437 --> 00:20:13,179 Yeah! 365 00:20:27,102 --> 00:20:30,347 If you are ever single, I' m looking you up. 366 00:20:31,449 --> 00:20:32,595 I hope you do. 367 00:20:51,949 --> 00:20:58,896 ::Italian Subs Addicted:: [www.italiansubs.net] 368 00:20:59,305 --> 00:21:05,919 Support us and become VIP member to remove all ads from www.OpenSubtitles.org