1
00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:12,317
Okay, one extra-large, virgin margarita.

2
00:00:12,419 --> 00:00:14,652
- Thank you, Richard.
- What took you so long?

3
00:00:14,754 --> 00:00:17,222
Uh, I actually, uh, I met a girl.

4
00:00:17,324 --> 00:00:19,357
It's called the bartender,
she works here.

5
00:00:19,459 --> 00:00:20,858
No, no. It's a real girl.

6
00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,494
And I actually got her
real phone number.

7
00:00:23,597 --> 00:00:25,697
Check you out, Mr. Casanova.

8
00:00:25,799 --> 00:00:28,499
Where is this individual? Um...

9
00:00:28,602 --> 00:00:31,069
She's right over there.

10
00:00:31,171 --> 00:00:34,172
- The tall dude?
- No, behind him.

11
00:00:34,274 --> 00:00:36,774
Oh, she must be hiding behind that
attractive girl in the red sweater.

12
00:00:36,876 --> 00:00:39,444
No, it is the attractive
girl in the red sweater.

13
00:00:39,546 --> 00:00:40,878
- Oh.
- Can we stop looking at her?

14
00:00:40,981 --> 00:00:42,413
She's magnificent.

15
00:00:42,515 --> 00:00:43,948
Are you sure it's not the tall guy?

16
00:00:44,050 --> 00:00:45,984
Why are we surprised that young Richard

17
00:00:46,086 --> 00:00:47,852
is garnering the attention of ladies?

18
00:00:47,954 --> 00:00:51,055
After all, he's king again.
Women like that.

19
00:00:51,157 --> 00:00:53,758
Okay, so she's a founder hounder.

20
00:00:53,860 --> 00:00:55,660
Come on, no, it-- it's not like that.

21
00:00:55,762 --> 00:00:58,129
But you did tell her that you're
the CEO of your own company?

22
00:00:58,231 --> 00:01:00,431
It came up. But I mean, honestly,

23
00:01:00,533 --> 00:01:01,933
how else was I going to explain that me

24
00:01:02,035 --> 00:01:03,201
and my friends were at a bar?

25
00:01:03,303 --> 00:01:04,469
That is a good point.

26
00:01:04,571 --> 00:01:05,670
Anytime you're near a woman,

27
00:01:05,772 --> 00:01:07,405
it is important to explain why.

28
00:01:07,507 --> 00:01:09,641
Otherwise, they get nervous.

29
00:01:09,743 --> 00:01:11,943
- Gentlemen...
- Hm...

30
00:01:12,045 --> 00:01:16,214
To Pied Piper's past,
and now present CEO.

31
00:01:16,316 --> 00:01:20,151
- Oh, what about future?
- Jared, we'll worry about that later.

32
00:01:20,253 --> 00:01:22,487
Tonight it's about Richard.

33
00:01:22,589 --> 00:01:24,088
To Richard.

34
00:01:31,174 --> 00:01:34,109
- sync and corrections by Caio -
- www.addic7ed.com -

35
00:01:35,468 --> 00:01:38,002
I think you'll find I'm a... I'm a...
I'm a pretty tolerant boss,

36
00:01:38,104 --> 00:01:41,673
but, Gleb, your-- your last commit,
you did use spaces over tabs.

37
00:01:41,775 --> 00:01:44,742
Um, I don't know why you'd
commit to that, uh,

38
00:01:44,844 --> 00:01:47,979
so just tell me why on earth you--
you would do something like that?

39
00:01:48,081 --> 00:01:51,049
Is not so big a deal. They're
very much the same, yes?

40
00:01:51,151 --> 00:01:53,284
Yes, yes, he's right.
They're very much the same.

41
00:01:53,386 --> 00:01:55,553
No, no, sorry, they're--
they're not the same.

42
00:01:55,655 --> 00:01:58,089
At least, not in my book.
Um, um, one is right,

43
00:01:58,191 --> 00:01:59,590
and the other is wrong.

44
00:01:59,693 --> 00:02:01,893
Why didn't anyone tell Gleb to use tabs?

45
00:02:01,995 --> 00:02:04,295
Yeah, we did. And it's in
the company style guide.

46
00:02:04,397 --> 00:02:08,766
I just don't think Gleb realized how
seriously Richard takes this stuff.

47
00:02:08,868 --> 00:02:10,902
Yeah, I've honestly never
understood it myself.

48
00:02:11,004 --> 00:02:13,771
I mean, once the code goes
through the compiler,

49
00:02:13,873 --> 00:02:15,340
there's effectively no difference.

50
00:02:15,442 --> 00:02:18,042
I know, but coders go,
like, batshit over it.

51
00:02:18,144 --> 00:02:22,914
At Hooli, I once saw two engineers
get into a fight so vicious,

52
00:02:23,016 --> 00:02:25,350
- they almost made physical contact.
- What?

53
00:02:25,452 --> 00:02:27,251
Okay, guys, uh, back to work.

54
00:02:27,354 --> 00:02:31,656
Uh, Gleb, Sanjay, everyone,
do you understand tabs?

55
00:02:31,758 --> 00:02:34,225
Yes, yes. You have made this
very clear as clear as crystal.

56
00:02:34,327 --> 00:02:38,129
Okay. Good, that's my little thing,
and I'll hand you back to Dinesh now.

57
00:02:38,231 --> 00:02:42,734
He's, uh, he's the man with the
plan, and the, uh, pretty cool tan.

58
00:02:44,137 --> 00:02:46,337
- It's not a tan, it's--
- Yeah, I know, I know.

59
00:02:46,439 --> 00:02:48,172
Uh... sorry.

60
00:02:48,274 --> 00:02:49,507
This is how I was born.

61
00:02:49,609 --> 00:02:51,843
Hey, uh, Elisabet? Hi.

62
00:02:51,945 --> 00:02:53,778
Um, before you go, I
just wanted to say that

63
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,982
I thought your last commit
was very impressive.

64
00:02:58,084 --> 00:02:59,817
Oh. Thank you.

65
00:02:59,919 --> 00:03:02,754
Almost as nice as the
fingers that typed it.

66
00:03:04,157 --> 00:03:06,357
- Just call it like I see it.
- Thank you.

67
00:03:06,459 --> 00:03:11,095
Speaking of seeing, I will see...

68
00:03:11,197 --> 00:03:14,365
- you tomorrow.
- Yes. You will.

69
00:03:14,467 --> 00:03:17,301
- Bye-bye, Dinesh.
- Bye, Elisabet.

70
00:03:20,607 --> 00:03:22,974
- Yuck.
- What?

71
00:03:23,076 --> 00:03:25,143
You don't actually think
she was flirting, do you?

72
00:03:25,245 --> 00:03:27,412
She works here. She's paid
to interact with you.

73
00:03:27,514 --> 00:03:30,314
Just like that bartender that Richard
thought he was flirting with.

74
00:03:30,417 --> 00:03:32,450
Uh, actually, she's not a bartender.

75
00:03:32,552 --> 00:03:34,986
And for your information,
we've been trading texts.

76
00:03:35,088 --> 00:03:38,089
And, uh, we're going for
drinks later, so...

77
00:03:38,191 --> 00:03:41,225
Great. If you go to
the bar she works at,

78
00:03:41,327 --> 00:03:42,460
you can probably drink for free.

79
00:03:42,562 --> 00:03:45,029
Again, uh, not a bartender.

80
00:03:45,131 --> 00:03:48,266
Okay, she works at Facebook. So she makes
a lot more money than I do or you do.

81
00:03:48,368 --> 00:03:53,037
And, um, she's definitely not a founder
hounder. So... sorry.

82
00:03:54,507 --> 00:03:56,007
Yeah, none of that adds up.

83
00:03:56,109 --> 00:03:58,176
Hey, guys, check out Code/Rag.

84
00:03:58,278 --> 00:03:59,710
What, did the Gavin piece post?

85
00:03:59,813 --> 00:04:02,280
Indeed it did.

86
00:04:02,382 --> 00:04:05,116
Oh, "Gavin Belson's
Hooli-Scrub Scandal."

87
00:04:05,218 --> 00:04:09,854
- Awesome.
- Man, Gavin cannot be happy about this.

88
00:04:16,329 --> 00:04:19,997
Stay close.

89
00:04:21,701 --> 00:04:23,201
Back up, back up.

90
00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:24,936
You're on private property,
back to the sidewalk.

91
00:04:25,038 --> 00:04:26,471
- You're gonna get arrested.
- Hey, Gavin!

92
00:04:26,573 --> 00:04:28,473
Hello, I'm...

93
00:04:30,076 --> 00:04:31,909
You know, a hundred years ago,

94
00:04:32,011 --> 00:04:34,445
men like me could've had
people like that killed.

95
00:04:34,547 --> 00:04:39,217
Just like that. You think captains
of industry like Andrew Carnegie

96
00:04:39,319 --> 00:04:43,254
or Cornelius Vanderbilt would've
batted an eyelid? Please.

97
00:04:43,356 --> 00:04:47,758
Times sure have changed.

98
00:04:49,929 --> 00:04:51,195
Or have they?

99
00:04:52,799 --> 00:04:57,301
Of course they have. And for the better.

100
00:04:57,403 --> 00:04:59,403
Unless...

101
00:05:01,541 --> 00:05:03,741
All right, forget it. What are
we doing about this article?

102
00:05:03,843 --> 00:05:06,143
Can we sue this Cantwell
woman for libel?

103
00:05:06,246 --> 00:05:09,680
Gavin, libel laws don't really
apply when what's written is true.

104
00:05:09,782 --> 00:05:13,084
It's my understanding you did in
fact instruct Nucleus engineers

105
00:05:13,186 --> 00:05:15,553
- to obscure negative Hooli-Search---
- I know what I did.

106
00:05:15,655 --> 00:05:17,088
Forget libel. What about this unnamed

107
00:05:17,190 --> 00:05:19,090
Hooli insider she keeps quoting.

108
00:05:19,192 --> 00:05:22,059
Everything this person is
saying is obviously covered

109
00:05:22,161 --> 00:05:25,296
by a nondisclosure agreement.
Let's sue that person.

110
00:05:25,398 --> 00:05:27,398
We don't know who that person is.

111
00:05:27,500 --> 00:05:30,434
And reporters generally don't
give up their sources.

112
00:05:30,537 --> 00:05:33,437
Well, then I'll just have to light a
fire under this reporter's ass, won't I?

113
00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:37,341
You know, there was a
time, not so long ago,

114
00:05:37,443 --> 00:05:40,711
when it could've been a literal fire.

115
00:05:42,181 --> 00:05:45,550
But as discussed, those days are gone.

116
00:05:45,652 --> 00:05:47,752
Unless...

117
00:05:48,988 --> 00:05:51,422
All right, forget it.
You people are useless.

118
00:05:51,524 --> 00:05:54,225
Thank you. You're excused.

119
00:06:01,801 --> 00:06:04,235
It's Gavin Belson for
CJ Cantwell, please.

120
00:06:04,337 --> 00:06:06,904
She'll know what it's regarding.

121
00:06:08,474 --> 00:06:11,208
Now, the stage should be here.

122
00:06:11,311 --> 00:06:13,911
With Yeezy or someone comparable.

123
00:06:14,013 --> 00:06:16,881
Now, I have yet to land on a theme.

124
00:06:16,983 --> 00:06:21,552
Most people who rent Alcatraz for parties
tend to go with the prison theme.

125
00:06:21,654 --> 00:06:25,089
Hm... how much would it
cost to make this look

126
00:06:25,191 --> 00:06:27,124
as if it were never a prison at all?

127
00:06:27,226 --> 00:06:28,659
Spare no expense,

128
00:06:28,761 --> 00:06:30,795
and if you think it would be cool,

129
00:06:30,897 --> 00:06:33,931
I would love to have some
sort of chocolate moat here,

130
00:06:34,033 --> 00:06:38,369
with little boats floating down a field
with graham crackers and marshmallows.

131
00:06:38,471 --> 00:06:40,504
It's been a childhood dream of mine.

132
00:06:40,607 --> 00:06:43,407
And get the best chocolatier,
we want to impress.

133
00:06:43,509 --> 00:06:46,510
I'm inviting every asshole
from the Valley to attend.

134
00:06:46,613 --> 00:06:49,347
- You're inviting assholes?
- Absolutely.

135
00:06:49,449 --> 00:06:51,082
Assholes, shit dongles,

136
00:06:51,184 --> 00:06:53,384
any foe or enemy I've made

137
00:06:53,486 --> 00:06:55,486
over my storied career will be here.

138
00:06:55,588 --> 00:07:00,791
That way, when I take this stage and
unleash the power of Bachmanity,

139
00:07:00,893 --> 00:07:02,693
they'll all be in the front row.

140
00:07:02,795 --> 00:07:06,831
Erlich, uh, can we talk for a second?

141
00:07:07,700 --> 00:07:09,133
What is it, Big Head?
I thought I told you

142
00:07:09,235 --> 00:07:10,901
to go watch something on your iPad.

143
00:07:11,004 --> 00:07:12,370
I think we may have a problem.

144
00:07:12,472 --> 00:07:14,238
That Code/Rag reporter I talked to

145
00:07:14,340 --> 00:07:17,375
says that Gavin Belson is
threatening to sue her

146
00:07:17,477 --> 00:07:19,243
if she doesn't tell
him who she spoke to.

147
00:07:19,345 --> 00:07:22,146
- So?
- So, she spoke to me.

148
00:07:22,248 --> 00:07:25,383
No publicity is bad publicity.
This might be great timing.

149
00:07:25,485 --> 00:07:28,319
Exactly the reason that we are partners.

150
00:07:28,421 --> 00:07:32,356
Okay, yeah. Except if Gavin finds out
it was me that talked to the reporter,

151
00:07:32,458 --> 00:07:34,558
then he'll know I violated my NDA.

152
00:07:34,661 --> 00:07:38,396
And then he could come after my
entire settlement if that happens.

153
00:07:38,498 --> 00:07:43,067
All two million. I mean, 20 million.

154
00:07:43,169 --> 00:07:45,936
Big Head, I'm not going to yell.

155
00:07:46,039 --> 00:07:47,805
And I'm not going to hit you.

156
00:07:47,907 --> 00:07:50,841
I'm just gonna ask you nicely,

157
00:07:50,943 --> 00:07:54,912
why in the holy fuck didn't you
tell me you signed an NDA,

158
00:07:55,014 --> 00:07:57,648
you sweet, helpless,
little piece of shit?

159
00:07:57,750 --> 00:07:59,383
Well, that's the thing about the NDA,

160
00:07:59,485 --> 00:08:02,520
is that the NDA is actually
covered under the NDA.

161
00:08:02,622 --> 00:08:06,157
So if I told you about the NDA, it
would've been a violation of the NDA.

162
00:08:06,259 --> 00:08:09,427
And what about speaking with the
reporter? What would that be?

163
00:08:09,529 --> 00:08:13,464
Yeah. Shit.

164
00:08:13,566 --> 00:08:15,900
So, what do you think I should do?

165
00:08:16,002 --> 00:08:18,202
- I could call her back and--
- No!

166
00:08:18,304 --> 00:08:20,771
Let me handle it. You go
wait in the helicopter.

167
00:08:20,873 --> 00:08:22,239
- Go.
- Okay.

168
00:08:24,644 --> 00:08:26,777
Sasha, I'm going to need to
go back to the mainland.

169
00:08:26,879 --> 00:08:30,715
- Oh, is there a problem?
- Oh, no, no. Full steam ahead.

170
00:08:30,817 --> 00:08:33,084
Mainland.

171
00:08:33,186 --> 00:08:35,352
This is an island.

172
00:08:35,455 --> 00:08:37,588
That's the theme.

173
00:08:37,690 --> 00:08:39,690
Hawaiian.

174
00:08:39,792 --> 00:08:42,460
We'll have a luau.

175
00:08:42,562 --> 00:08:46,831
Yeah, somebody called me that in high
school, and the nickname just stuck.

176
00:08:46,933 --> 00:08:50,935
- Pakistani Denzel.
- I mean, I don't see it.

177
00:08:51,037 --> 00:08:52,603
But everybody else does. So...

178
00:08:52,705 --> 00:08:56,707
Maybe they should call
him American Dinesh ?

179
00:08:56,809 --> 00:08:58,509
Stop.

180
00:08:58,611 --> 00:09:00,044
Only if you stop first.

181
00:09:00,146 --> 00:09:02,012
- No, you stop first.
- You stop first.

182
00:09:02,115 --> 00:09:03,981
- You go first.
- No, I think you should.

183
00:09:04,083 --> 00:09:06,150
Okay, I'll stop. Bye.

184
00:09:06,252 --> 00:09:09,453
What's your end game here? You
think after your tired rap,

185
00:09:09,555 --> 00:09:13,157
she's going to hop on a plane,
fly halfway across the world,

186
00:09:13,259 --> 00:09:15,993
- and fuck you?
- My motivations are pure.

187
00:09:16,095 --> 00:09:18,596
Her and I have, like, a real connection.

188
00:09:18,698 --> 00:09:21,565
She's so, like, nice and
she's so down to earth,

189
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:25,636
that it's like she has no
idea how attractive she is.

190
00:09:25,738 --> 00:09:27,938
You don't know how attractive she is.

191
00:09:28,040 --> 00:09:31,542
Packet loss over Estonian broadband
is terrible. She could be hideous.

192
00:09:31,644 --> 00:09:35,613
Well, I can't imagine that would
matter to Dinesh one iota.

193
00:09:37,016 --> 00:09:39,049
Right. Cause she's nice,

194
00:09:39,152 --> 00:09:42,052
and, uh, very talented,
and has a great laugh.

195
00:09:42,155 --> 00:09:44,555
And with any luck, she's not a dogface.

196
00:09:45,825 --> 00:09:47,625
How was your date with Winnie?

197
00:09:47,727 --> 00:09:49,827
Uh, well, pretty good,

198
00:09:49,929 --> 00:09:51,962
considering she's still
in the other room.

199
00:09:52,064 --> 00:09:54,098
Baller, you got lucky on the first date.

200
00:09:54,200 --> 00:09:56,634
Yeah, did a little bit,
uh, not everything.

201
00:09:56,736 --> 00:09:58,469
I mean, I slept in my jeans.

202
00:09:58,571 --> 00:10:01,539
Well, take your time.
Hunger is the best sauce.

203
00:10:01,641 --> 00:10:05,242
You're right. Uh, we did a
little bit of under the shirts

204
00:10:05,344 --> 00:10:09,013
and, like, finger banging. Oh, hey.

205
00:10:14,854 --> 00:10:17,087
- Hey, I'm Winnie.
- Oh.

206
00:10:17,190 --> 00:10:19,390
- Hi, I'm Dinesh.
- Hi, I'm Jared.

207
00:10:19,492 --> 00:10:22,293
- It is an honor to meet you.
- Okay.

208
00:10:22,395 --> 00:10:26,430
- God, what a pleasure.
- Thanks.

209
00:10:26,532 --> 00:10:29,166
I'm Gilfoyle. Are you a bartender?

210
00:10:29,268 --> 00:10:32,636
- I work at Facebook.
- As a bartender?

211
00:10:32,738 --> 00:10:34,772
I had a stuffed animal named Winnie.

212
00:10:34,874 --> 00:10:35,468
Oh, wow.

213
00:10:35,493 --> 00:10:37,198
I mean, it wasn't technically an animal,

214
00:10:37,276 --> 00:10:40,010
I took a Ziploc bag and I
stuffed it with old newspaper

215
00:10:40,112 --> 00:10:41,679
and then I--
I drew a smile on it.

216
00:10:41,781 --> 00:10:44,081
Okay, well, uh, shall we
have some coffee, my lady?

217
00:10:44,183 --> 00:10:46,417
- Sure. Let's do it.
- Okay. All right.

218
00:10:46,519 --> 00:10:50,988
We're already on to Elizabethan
nicknames. This is serious.

219
00:10:51,090 --> 00:10:54,258
- They'll be Ren Faire-ing soon.
- It's healthy.

220
00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,027
And now that Richard's dating,

221
00:10:57,129 --> 00:11:00,798
uh, in solidarity, I think I
might get back out there myself.

222
00:11:00,900 --> 00:11:03,167
You make it sound like
you've chosen not to date.

223
00:11:03,269 --> 00:11:05,803
Yeah, absolutely. I wanted
to focus on Pied Piper.

224
00:11:05,905 --> 00:11:10,341
But, yeah, maybe now I'll fan
out my plumage, so to speak,

225
00:11:10,443 --> 00:11:13,878
and see what pretty birdies
might share my nest.

226
00:11:13,980 --> 00:11:17,147
Hey, Jared. If you fuck any
pretty birdies in my server room,

227
00:11:17,250 --> 00:11:18,949
put a tie on the doorknob, won't you?

228
00:11:19,051 --> 00:11:21,986
Oh, as a signal. Yeah, good thinking.

229
00:11:22,088 --> 00:11:26,156
Okay, so I'll just get the car keys and
then give you a lift home. Okay, my lady?

230
00:11:26,259 --> 00:11:28,292
My lord. Oh. My lady.

231
00:11:30,596 --> 00:11:31,962
Okay.

232
00:11:32,064 --> 00:11:34,665
So, Richard tells me
you guys are building

233
00:11:34,767 --> 00:11:36,300
deep nets into your platform?

234
00:11:36,402 --> 00:11:39,803
Oh, really? What other company
secrets did he blab to you?

235
00:11:39,906 --> 00:11:43,474
Well I'm a bartender, I wouldn't
understand all the science-y talk, right?

236
00:11:43,576 --> 00:11:46,644
- Touché.
- So you do AI at Facebook?

237
00:11:46,746 --> 00:11:50,915
No, but when I was at MIT, I did my
master's thesis on game playing AIs.

238
00:11:51,017 --> 00:11:52,716
I did a lot of machine learning stuff.

239
00:11:52,818 --> 00:11:54,518
For gaming? How does that work?

240
00:11:54,620 --> 00:11:56,987
It's on my GitHub. Do you
want to check it out?

241
00:11:57,089 --> 00:11:58,822
Gavin said he was gonna
haul me into court

242
00:11:58,925 --> 00:12:02,893
and have a judge compel me to
give up my source, or go to jail.

243
00:12:02,995 --> 00:12:04,395
Okay? I am not going to jail.

244
00:12:04,497 --> 00:12:06,530
No, no one's going to jail, CJ.

245
00:12:06,632 --> 00:12:10,634
Although, if you did, going to
jail for protecting your source

246
00:12:10,736 --> 00:12:13,003
would make you some kind
of First Amendment hero.

247
00:12:13,105 --> 00:12:15,639
It's pretty much the best thing
that can happen to a journalist.

248
00:12:15,741 --> 00:12:17,308
Journalist? Okay, I'm a tech blogger.

249
00:12:17,410 --> 00:12:19,643
Okay? I write stories for the
internet about the internet.

250
00:12:19,745 --> 00:12:21,612
I am not going to jail for that.

251
00:12:21,714 --> 00:12:24,014
I know it is an
inconsequential shit job.

252
00:12:24,116 --> 00:12:27,718
It doesn't really contribute to
culture in any way whatsoever.

253
00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:31,155
We've established that you don't
have any journalistic integrity,

254
00:12:31,257 --> 00:12:34,725
but what would it cost

255
00:12:34,827 --> 00:12:37,661
to buy you some?

256
00:12:40,466 --> 00:12:44,735
Then I figured out a way to train a
convolutional net to play Atari 2600 games.

257
00:12:44,837 --> 00:12:47,004
- Uh-oh.
- What?

258
00:12:47,106 --> 00:12:50,975
Spaces. Yeah, so what,
you guys use tabs?

259
00:12:51,077 --> 00:12:52,476
In this house, yes.

260
00:12:52,578 --> 00:12:56,981
Richard is a bit of a zealot in
the Tabs V. Spaces holy war.

261
00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:59,049
I get that, for his company. Sure.

262
00:12:59,151 --> 00:13:00,784
This goes much deeper.

263
00:13:00,886 --> 00:13:04,288
I think he believes that people
who use spaces are less than.

264
00:13:04,390 --> 00:13:05,522
Huh...

265
00:13:05,624 --> 00:13:07,424
I wouldn't mention this to Richard.

266
00:13:07,526 --> 00:13:09,026
You don't want to see
him throw a hissy fit.

267
00:13:09,128 --> 00:13:11,295
Okay. Shall we away, my lady?

268
00:13:11,397 --> 00:13:15,699
- Nice to meet you guys.
- Have fun.

269
00:13:15,801 --> 00:13:19,169
- Bye.
- Bye.

270
00:13:19,271 --> 00:13:21,205
I actually kind of liked her.

271
00:13:21,307 --> 00:13:22,573
Too bad Richard's going to fuck it up.

272
00:13:22,675 --> 00:13:26,010
So, you moved the swimming pool?

273
00:13:26,112 --> 00:13:30,714
Yeah, it just felt like it was way too
far from the house, like, crazy far.

274
00:13:30,816 --> 00:13:33,450
So I had this company come
and just move it closer.

275
00:13:33,552 --> 00:13:37,287
Uh-huh. But then you moved it back?

276
00:13:37,390 --> 00:13:40,324
Yeah, turns out the guy who built this
place knew exactly what he was doing,

277
00:13:40,426 --> 00:13:44,428
and the pool was right where it
needed to be the whole time.

278
00:13:44,530 --> 00:13:47,131
But now I know that for
sure, which feels good.

279
00:13:47,233 --> 00:13:49,933
Nelson, do you like being wealthy?

280
00:13:50,036 --> 00:13:51,702
Yeah. Oh, man, it's awesome.

281
00:13:51,804 --> 00:13:53,303
So you want to stay wealthy?

282
00:13:53,406 --> 00:13:55,339
- Okay, yeah, sure.
- Great.

283
00:13:55,441 --> 00:13:57,841
Here are the three things
you need to do, all right?

284
00:13:57,943 --> 00:14:00,778
One, stop moving the swimming pool.

285
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:02,846
Oh, yeah, okay, I can do that.
What else?

286
00:14:02,948 --> 00:14:07,217
Two, you need to manage your
expenses and track your receipts

287
00:14:07,319 --> 00:14:10,721
a little bit better than... this.

288
00:14:10,823 --> 00:14:13,057
I'm only as good as the
information I have.

289
00:14:13,159 --> 00:14:15,793
- Oh, you're great.
- No, I wasn't fishing for compliments.

290
00:14:15,895 --> 00:14:20,531
And three, I sense that people
are taking advantage of you.

291
00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:22,900
Oh. Sorry, hold on.

292
00:14:23,002 --> 00:14:24,701
Oh, it's Erlich, I should
probably grab this.

293
00:14:24,804 --> 00:14:26,804
Erlich Bachman, a perfect example.

294
00:14:26,906 --> 00:14:29,873
You gave him signing power on
your personal checking account?

295
00:14:29,975 --> 00:14:31,608
Yeah, he's my business partner.

296
00:14:31,710 --> 00:14:34,578
You're not structured as a corporation.
You're a general partnership.

297
00:14:34,680 --> 00:14:37,181
So he's essentially your spouse.

298
00:14:37,283 --> 00:14:39,650
- That's very dangerous.
- But I trust him.

299
00:14:39,752 --> 00:14:44,555
He's actually trying to save us
money right now, so hold-- hold on.

300
00:14:44,657 --> 00:14:45,556
Hey, man.

301
00:14:45,658 --> 00:14:47,458
Big Head, wondrous news.

302
00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:50,327
I eliminated the Gavin problem,
and at the exact same time,

303
00:14:50,429 --> 00:14:53,864
I closed funding on our
first strategic investment.

304
00:14:53,966 --> 00:14:56,266
We bought a blog.

305
00:14:56,368 --> 00:14:58,635
Oh, cool. How much do blogs cost?

306
00:14:58,737 --> 00:15:00,170
- What?
- Oh, nothing.

307
00:15:00,272 --> 00:15:01,572
We practically stole it from them.

308
00:15:01,674 --> 00:15:05,008
- What?
- I'm bullshitting.

309
00:15:05,111 --> 00:15:06,510
Half a million dollars.

310
00:15:06,612 --> 00:15:07,678
Let me talk to him, please.

311
00:15:07,780 --> 00:15:08,946
Uh, hey, Erlich,

312
00:15:09,048 --> 00:15:10,080
could you talk to, uh,

313
00:15:10,182 --> 00:15:11,548
my business manager for a second.

314
00:15:11,650 --> 00:15:12,883
No, I've got to jet, but tell him

315
00:15:12,985 --> 00:15:14,118
I'll see him at the party.

316
00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:15,419
Good day, partner.

317
00:15:15,521 --> 00:15:17,488
Okay, cool.

318
00:15:17,590 --> 00:15:19,623
About the blog...

319
00:15:19,725 --> 00:15:21,658
- 500 grand.
- Oh, God.

320
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:23,760
I know, we practically stole it, right?

321
00:15:23,863 --> 00:15:27,097
Your roommates are really funny.
I like them.

322
00:15:27,199 --> 00:15:28,599
They gave me a little shit.

323
00:15:28,701 --> 00:15:30,934
Oh, well, you can't
take that personally.

324
00:15:31,036 --> 00:15:33,170
Oh, it's fine. They gave you shit too.

325
00:15:33,272 --> 00:15:36,240
Oh, really? What about,
like my hair or something?

326
00:15:36,342 --> 00:15:40,677
No. They tried to convince me you
were some sort of formatting Nazi

327
00:15:40,779 --> 00:15:43,046
about tabs versus spaces.

328
00:15:43,149 --> 00:15:46,850
What? Me? Nazi?

329
00:15:46,952 --> 00:15:48,585
That's ridiculous.

330
00:15:48,687 --> 00:15:51,488
That's what I said, I mean,
I use spaces. So what?

331
00:15:51,590 --> 00:15:54,758
Mm... Yeah, so what?

332
00:15:54,860 --> 00:15:57,227
See, they said you'd have a
hissy fit if you found out.

333
00:15:57,329 --> 00:15:59,463
Mm-mm. Hissy fit, me? No.

334
00:15:59,565 --> 00:16:02,232
- I know.
- You know. I know.

335
00:16:02,334 --> 00:16:05,769
I mean, make up your mind, guys, am I a
Nazi or am I a guy who throws hissy fits?

336
00:16:05,871 --> 00:16:07,905
You know? Am I a Nazi
who throws hissy fits?

337
00:16:08,007 --> 00:16:10,207
I hope not. That was Hitler.
That was like his whole deal.

338
00:16:10,309 --> 00:16:12,609
I mean, that's pretty insensitive
to the Holocaust, don't you think?

339
00:16:12,711 --> 00:16:15,445
Cause that's, like, what Hitler
did, you know, he just, like,

340
00:16:15,548 --> 00:16:18,248
killed so many people, so
tragic, such a tragic time.

341
00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:20,350
- Yeah.
- I'm so glad we're not doing that anymore.

342
00:16:20,452 --> 00:16:23,287
I mean, we, like I... like
I was, you know, whoa!

343
00:16:23,389 --> 00:16:25,756
I want them all to die.
I don't, I don't care.

344
00:16:25,858 --> 00:16:29,226
I mean, I do care, don't--
don't kill them-- them-- Jews.

345
00:16:29,328 --> 00:16:32,396
Uh, anyway, what do you want to...
what do you want to order here?

346
00:16:33,999 --> 00:16:37,834
- Is that our P-to-P protocol?
- Yeah, I'm just hacking for fun.

347
00:16:37,937 --> 00:16:40,704
I figured out a way to use our
compression for RTC, so...

348
00:16:40,806 --> 00:16:43,740
Video chat? Yeah. I think it
could be better resolution

349
00:16:43,842 --> 00:16:45,842
than Hooli-Chat. Even over 3G.

350
00:16:45,945 --> 00:16:48,845
It could just be like a fun, cool
feature in the platform, you know.

351
00:16:48,948 --> 00:16:51,548
And then coincidentally
you'll finally be able to see

352
00:16:51,650 --> 00:16:53,617
what Elisabet actually looks like.

353
00:16:53,719 --> 00:16:55,852
- Oh, yeah.
- Huh.

354
00:16:55,955 --> 00:16:57,421
I hadn't thought of that.

355
00:16:57,523 --> 00:16:59,323
If you worked half as
hard on the platform

356
00:16:59,425 --> 00:17:01,558
as you do trying to ogle
strange Slavic women,

357
00:17:01,660 --> 00:17:04,561
maybe our shares would
finally be worth something.

358
00:17:04,663 --> 00:17:07,264
Hey, uh...

359
00:17:07,366 --> 00:17:10,234
what the hell was that?

360
00:17:14,173 --> 00:17:16,073
Can you give us slightly more, Richard?

361
00:17:16,175 --> 00:17:18,942
Why did you tell Winnie

362
00:17:19,044 --> 00:17:23,914
that I think people who use
spaces over tabs are stupid?

363
00:17:24,016 --> 00:17:25,949
- Because you do.
- No, I don't.

364
00:17:26,051 --> 00:17:27,618
And if I did, which I don't,

365
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:29,753
why would you say that
behind my back, to her?

366
00:17:29,855 --> 00:17:33,056
I mean, things were just
going so well, until she--

367
00:17:33,158 --> 00:17:37,027
That was completely lovely.

368
00:17:37,129 --> 00:17:39,596
- Yeah, it was really nice.
- You're really something.

369
00:17:39,698 --> 00:17:41,765
- I'll give you a call later, okay?
- Okay, cool, yeah.

370
00:17:41,867 --> 00:17:45,068
Great, sounds good. Bye, Jared.

371
00:17:45,170 --> 00:17:47,137
Bye.

372
00:18:02,154 --> 00:18:03,186
Jared?

373
00:18:03,289 --> 00:18:04,554
Yeah?

374
00:18:04,657 --> 00:18:06,023
Who was that?

375
00:18:06,125 --> 00:18:08,458
Oh, that was Carol.

376
00:18:10,062 --> 00:18:14,264
So, uh, Jared, did--

377
00:18:14,366 --> 00:18:16,700
did you just have sex with her?

378
00:18:19,672 --> 00:18:21,672
What? I'm an adult,

379
00:18:21,774 --> 00:18:25,242
and like the rest of
you, I'm a sexual being.

380
00:18:25,344 --> 00:18:27,077
You fucked her in the garage?

381
00:18:27,179 --> 00:18:30,414
Well, it's the server
room and my bedroom.

382
00:18:30,516 --> 00:18:34,184
What, so you just meet a woman,

383
00:18:34,286 --> 00:18:36,853
and then you have sex with her?

384
00:18:39,024 --> 00:18:40,390
How often does this happen?

385
00:18:40,492 --> 00:18:42,459
Well, if you're asking me how many times

386
00:18:42,561 --> 00:18:45,395
I've been in love, the answer is two.

387
00:18:45,497 --> 00:18:49,533
But the rest I won't talk about.
It's untoward.

388
00:18:49,635 --> 00:18:52,869
Russ was right, this guy fucks.

389
00:18:52,971 --> 00:18:55,806
Who was that gorgeous
gazelle in the driveway?

390
00:18:55,908 --> 00:18:58,542
Well, I've said all I
care to, let's move on.

391
00:18:58,644 --> 00:19:00,744
She let Jared have sex with her.

392
00:19:00,846 --> 00:19:04,548
Jared, nice. Using that dick.

393
00:19:04,650 --> 00:19:07,718
Gents, I'd like to invite you

394
00:19:07,820 --> 00:19:13,690
to what promises to be the
social event of the season.

395
00:19:13,792 --> 00:19:16,927
Bachmanity Insanity.

396
00:19:17,029 --> 00:19:18,862
Alcatraz?

397
00:19:18,964 --> 00:19:21,231
Don't worry, it will be unrecognizable.

398
00:19:21,333 --> 00:19:25,035
Jared, with regards to the...
you need a plus one?

399
00:19:25,137 --> 00:19:28,405
Oh, no thank you. I think
it's too early for that.

400
00:19:28,507 --> 00:19:32,476
Good idea. Don't bring sand to the
beach, there's already pussy there.

401
00:19:32,578 --> 00:19:36,079
Richard, I assume you'll be
taking your woman friend?

402
00:19:36,181 --> 00:19:39,850
You know what? Yes. She and
I will be there together.

403
00:19:39,952 --> 00:19:41,485
I'm going to make this work,

404
00:19:41,587 --> 00:19:45,655
despite all your little attempts
to sabotage my relationship.

405
00:19:45,758 --> 00:19:48,625
You can do anything you put
your mind to, Richard.

406
00:19:48,727 --> 00:19:52,796
Including turning Alcatraz into Hawaii.

407
00:20:03,776 --> 00:20:05,409
You okay?

408
00:20:05,511 --> 00:20:09,346
Yeah. Yeah, all good. Great.

409
00:20:12,284 --> 00:20:14,017
- You know...
- What?

410
00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:16,386
My roommate's going
out of town tomorrow,

411
00:20:16,488 --> 00:20:19,423
so if we want to come back
here after Erlich's party...

412
00:20:19,525 --> 00:20:23,693
Oh. Okay, yeah. Sure,
that sounds good to me.

413
00:20:23,796 --> 00:20:27,931
- All right, it's a date.
- See you then.

414
00:20:40,078 --> 00:20:41,845
Richard, what's wrong?

415
00:20:41,947 --> 00:20:45,282
Nothing. Nothing,
literally it's all good.

416
00:20:49,254 --> 00:20:50,520
Come on.

417
00:20:50,622 --> 00:20:51,822
- Oh, my God!
- I'm sorry.

418
00:20:51,924 --> 00:20:53,089
Your roommates were right,

419
00:20:53,192 --> 00:20:54,825
- you really hate spaces.
- No, no, no.

420
00:20:54,927 --> 00:20:56,860
I don't, it's not hate,
hate's a strong word.

421
00:20:56,962 --> 00:21:00,897
Um, truth be told, I do have a
slight preference for tabs.

422
00:21:00,999 --> 00:21:05,602
But that's only because I'm
anal and because I prefer...

423
00:21:05,704 --> 00:21:08,472
precision.

424
00:21:08,574 --> 00:21:10,540
Well, not to pick a fight here,

425
00:21:10,642 --> 00:21:14,144
but if you really care about
precision, wouldn't you use spaces?

426
00:21:14,246 --> 00:21:16,112
- Nn...
- But whatever.

427
00:21:16,215 --> 00:21:17,447
Once it goes through the compiler,

428
00:21:17,549 --> 00:21:19,549
it's the same thing. Right?

429
00:21:19,651 --> 00:21:22,352
Yeah. Yeah, technically yes.

430
00:21:27,392 --> 00:21:30,293
I guess, I just... I just
don't understand why you--

431
00:21:30,395 --> 00:21:31,828
anyone would use spaces over tabs.

432
00:21:31,930 --> 00:21:34,965
Like, if it's all the same,
why not just use tabs?

433
00:21:35,067 --> 00:21:37,534
Because it could look different
on other people's computers.

434
00:21:37,636 --> 00:21:40,003
Tabs create smaller
file sizes, all right?

435
00:21:40,105 --> 00:21:41,605
I run a compression company, trust me,

436
00:21:41,707 --> 00:21:44,007
I've devoted my life to
minimalizing file sizes.

437
00:21:44,109 --> 00:21:47,511
It's what I do. I mean,
I do not get why anyone

438
00:21:47,613 --> 00:21:49,546
would use spaces over tabs.

439
00:21:49,648 --> 00:21:52,349
I mean, why not just use Vim over Emacs?

440
00:21:52,451 --> 00:21:55,519
- I do use Vim over Emac.
- Oh, God, help us!

441
00:21:55,621 --> 00:21:57,821
Okay, uh... you know what?

442
00:21:57,923 --> 00:22:00,190
I just... I don't think this is
going to work. I'm so sorry.

443
00:22:00,292 --> 00:22:02,893
Uh, I mean like, what, we're going
to bring kids into this world

444
00:22:02,995 --> 00:22:05,662
with that over their heads? That's not
really fair to them, don't you think?

445
00:22:05,764 --> 00:22:07,731
Kids? We haven't even slept together.

446
00:22:07,833 --> 00:22:09,366
And guess what, it's never
going to happen now,

447
00:22:09,468 --> 00:22:11,868
because there is no way I'm
going to be with someone

448
00:22:11,970 --> 00:22:14,938
who uses spaces over tabs.

449
00:22:16,174 --> 00:22:18,041
Richard!

450
00:22:20,612 --> 00:22:23,847
Wow. Okay. Goodbye.

451
00:22:23,949 --> 00:22:29,219
One tab saves you eight spaces!

452
00:22:29,321 --> 00:22:32,789
Oh!

453
00:22:32,891 --> 00:22:35,158
Oh, my God!

454
00:22:35,260 --> 00:22:36,793
Richard, what happened?

455
00:22:36,895 --> 00:22:40,830
I just tried to go down the
stairs eight steps at a time.

456
00:22:40,933 --> 00:22:42,365
I'm okay, though.

457
00:22:42,467 --> 00:22:44,234
See you around, Richard.

458
00:22:44,336 --> 00:22:47,037
Just making a point.

459
00:22:47,139 --> 00:22:48,572
Oh!

460
00:22:56,481 --> 00:22:58,148
Huh...

461
00:22:58,250 --> 00:23:02,752
This new video chat protocol is
making your image crystal clear.

462
00:23:02,854 --> 00:23:04,921
Wait... wait one second, Dinesh.

463
00:23:05,023 --> 00:23:07,457
Uh, Dinesh, I can't see
you, it's all black.

464
00:23:07,559 --> 00:23:10,160
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't
give the camera permission

465
00:23:10,262 --> 00:23:13,363
to access the video chat, hold on.

466
00:23:13,465 --> 00:23:17,067
- Boom!
- Yes! I can... see you now.

467
00:23:17,169 --> 00:23:20,637
It's me! Pakistani Denzel!

468
00:23:21,873 --> 00:23:25,609
Yes! The Denzel who is from Pakistan.

469
00:23:25,711 --> 00:23:29,813
This video quality is great, right?
Looks so sharp.

470
00:23:29,915 --> 00:23:33,550
That's what we do here at Pied Piper.

471
00:23:33,652 --> 00:23:37,253
It-- it's very impressive.

472
00:23:37,356 --> 00:23:42,058
Um, I will have to tell my
boyfriend all about it.

473
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:45,829
Boyfriend? You never
mentioned a boyfriend.

474
00:23:45,931 --> 00:23:47,497
Oh, no? Um...

475
00:23:47,599 --> 00:23:50,700
This is because he's now just husband.

476
00:23:50,802 --> 00:23:53,970
Um, I keep forgetting
to say this, husband,

477
00:23:54,072 --> 00:23:57,273
but it is very good to see you this way,

478
00:23:57,376 --> 00:23:59,876
and we will talk more tomorrow.

479
00:23:59,978 --> 00:24:02,579
Yeah, we'll talk--

480
00:24:04,282 --> 00:24:08,284
Either she froze time,

481
00:24:08,387 --> 00:24:11,388
met and married the man of her dreams,

482
00:24:11,490 --> 00:24:15,825
unfroze time, and hopped back
on to vid chat with you,

483
00:24:15,927 --> 00:24:20,463
or... you're the dogface.

484
00:24:20,565 --> 00:24:24,668
Which do you think it is?
I'm on the fence.

485
00:24:24,770 --> 00:24:27,137
What the fuck is going on?
Richard found a girl,

486
00:24:27,239 --> 00:24:32,075
you have a girlfriend, Jared
is getting laid with a girl.

487
00:24:36,948 --> 00:24:38,782
Hi, Mom.

488
00:25:00,772 --> 00:25:04,274
Oh, God. Winnie, Winnie,
Winnie, Winnie, Winnie.

489
00:25:04,376 --> 00:25:07,911
Sweet, sweet Elisabet.

490
00:25:08,013 --> 00:25:10,013
Gentlemen, mahalo for coming.

491
00:25:10,115 --> 00:25:14,517
You must taste the breaded
humuhumunukunukuapua'a,

492
00:25:14,619 --> 00:25:17,020
flown in fresh this a.m.

493
00:25:17,122 --> 00:25:20,423
- What is mumu--
- It's breaded.

494
00:25:20,525 --> 00:25:24,027
Get ready. In T-minus five minutes,

495
00:25:24,129 --> 00:25:26,262
Big Head and I are going
to take that stage

496
00:25:26,364 --> 00:25:31,101
and I am going to ejaculate
my success all over the faces

497
00:25:31,203 --> 00:25:32,836
and hair of my fiercest rivals.

498
00:25:32,938 --> 00:25:37,807
Like some sort of vengeful
viscous web of payback.

499
00:25:37,909 --> 00:25:40,410
- Erlich?
- Yes. One moment.

500
00:25:40,512 --> 00:25:44,214
Sasha, you are doing an
exceptional job. I mean,

501
00:25:44,316 --> 00:25:47,584
I see... I see no evidence
that we are not in Hawaii.

502
00:25:47,686 --> 00:25:50,053
Hm... we have a problem.

503
00:25:50,155 --> 00:25:53,857
Just several of our vendors are
saying that your checks have bounced.

504
00:25:56,828 --> 00:26:01,397
Um, Sasha... I'll be back.

505
00:26:01,500 --> 00:26:04,000
Big Head, Big Head. Why
are our checks bouncing?

506
00:26:04,102 --> 00:26:08,471
If you had responded to any of my phone
calls, I would've explained it to you.

507
00:26:08,573 --> 00:26:09,906
Who the fuck are you?

508
00:26:10,008 --> 00:26:14,377
Uh, Erlich this is my
business manager, Arthur...

509
00:26:14,479 --> 00:26:15,204
Klaiman.

510
00:26:15,229 --> 00:26:17,404
Klaiman. I knew it was
something with Clay.

511
00:26:17,482 --> 00:26:19,983
As I was explaining to Mr. Bighetti,

512
00:26:20,085 --> 00:26:23,820
I've finally managed to get
a handle on his finances.

513
00:26:23,922 --> 00:26:26,723
Our finances. Continue.

514
00:26:26,825 --> 00:26:30,860
After your considerable
outlay on lifestyle,

515
00:26:30,962 --> 00:26:34,330
this party and half a million
dollars on a website,

516
00:26:34,432 --> 00:26:38,868
you're functionally insolvent.

517
00:26:38,970 --> 00:26:41,004
Big Head, you're broke?

518
00:26:41,106 --> 00:26:42,438
We're broke, dude.

519
00:26:42,541 --> 00:26:44,107
Erlich, it's time.

520
00:26:44,209 --> 00:26:47,744
You have my number. I left
it on your voicemail.

521
00:26:47,846 --> 00:26:49,279
Several times.

522
00:26:49,381 --> 00:26:51,080
Titans of the tech world,

523
00:26:51,183 --> 00:26:54,484
I give you Nelson
Bighetti, Erlich Bachman,

524
00:27:03,395 --> 00:27:06,663
and Bachmanity!

525
00:27:11,970 --> 00:27:13,203
Aloha.

526
00:27:15,373 --> 00:27:18,741
Uh, that means hello.

527
00:27:18,844 --> 00:27:20,376
Oh, and goodbye.

528
00:27:20,400 --> 00:27:21,612
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