Daily planet info line.
Obituaries? Yeah, sure, let me transfer...
Oh, dog obituaries.
Oh, I'm sorry. We don't actually run those.
Yeah, okay. You're welcome.
Die! Die!
Lois, I'm sorry you were in for a girls' night out
and I got called in to screen news that's not fit to print.
Compared to the Kent farm, this is a rager.
Besides, I wouldn't pass up an opportunity
to watch a big-shot reporter in action.
All right, now that I'm swimming in butter,
why are you really here obliterating aliens with me at I am?
- I'm racking up brownie points. - —uh—huh.
I need you to help me move out of the kents' next weekend.
You took the apartment at the Talon?
- How are you gonna live without Clark? - One word: Blissfully.
How you had a crush on Richie Cunningham,
I will never understand.
You gotta come back to Smallville. It'll be fun. I'll buy pizza.
You don't need to Tom Sawyer me.
We're family. Just tell me when to be there.
- Daily planet info line. - I need a reporter to meet me.
Who is this?
I wanna talk to a reporter.
You have to send someone fast, before he finds me.
Seventh and edgemont. Please, you've gotta hurry.
We couldn't have met at a coffee shop?
I don't think she was looking for a brunch date, Lois.
Sounds like a story someone didn't want her to tell.
I thought you were supposed to pass leads to someone who's cubicle is above ground.
Well, unless I wanna stay subterranean, I've gotta take a chance.
Please! Help me!
- There she is. - Help!
Over here!
She's dead.
J“ somebody save me j“
j“ let your warm hands break right through it j“
j“ somebody save me j“
j“ I don't care how you do it j“
-j“ just stay, stay j“ -j“ stay with me j“
j“ come on, I've been waiting for you j“
j“ to stay with me j“
j“ I made this whole world shine for you j“
j“ stay, stay j“
j“ come on j“
so how much longer do I have you before you hightail it back to Metropolis?
Well, Lana's gone for the weekend.
I lost out to a comet her class is tracking at the Lincoln observatory.
How about Chloe or Lois?
Well, Chloe's juggling classes and the daily planet.
And Lois... I'd do anything to get rid of Lois.
I don't think that's exactly a prereq for best-friend status.
Well...
Dad.
Is that the best you got?
I had another six inches out here.
I wasn't sure how rusty your reflexes had gotten.
Senator Jennings.
I know it's been a long time, but what happened to "uncle Jack"?
For someone who's on a first-name basis with the governor?
I don't remember the governor winning a state football championship.
- Congratulations. - Thanks.
Anybody push you to follow in his footsteps?
Hey, it's a lot better than spending the games underneath the bleachers
with the sheriff's daughters.
Not both of them at once.
Since when do you trek out here in the middle of a campaign?
Exactly why I came.
I needed a breather from the rat race.
Besides, I could use your help rallying the farmers.
You got a lot of pull with that union.
Why? You always win this county by a landslide.
Well, the race is about to get a lot tougher.
Rumor has it I'm running against Lex Luthor.
Let me get this straight. No ID or make on the vehicle,
no ID on the driver, and no clue why this girl called.
I'd say you're off to a great start as an investigative reporter, Ms. Sullivan.
If you remember anything else, let me know.
I think that's code for, "we're gonna file this under the rug."
This is a big city, and bad things happen.
A pretty young girl, not in college, with no traceable job,
in that part of town. It's not a mystery what happened down there.
You don't think it's strange that an alleged streetwalker
was wearing $500 Jimmy choo shoes?
Look, detective Sawyer, this girl died trying to tell me her story.
Now, I'm sorry I'm not street-hardened, but she's more than a statistic to me.
We have to find out who did this.
I applaud your spirit, girls.
But you should know that most of those streets turn out to be dead ends.
I will do my job, you do yours.
Hopefully you'll have more luck than officer Stalin.
I ran the number that Melissa girl called from.
It was from a payphone near where we saw her.
But the only addresses within 10 blocks from the place
was a bunch of warehouses.
And a club called the windgate.
I'm guessing she didn't get all glammed up to count inventory.
So your dad outran four cop cars
and pissed off half the chicken farmers in chickasaw county.
It's only because you said that you knew a shortcut.
These aren't the sides of the story that I hear.
Got any more? They're useful when I'm in for a lecture.
No, I don't think...
Hang on. Don't you say anything else. Just a second.
Maggie Sawyer, Metropolis p.D.
- Hi. - May I come in?
- Yeah, sure, come on in. - Thank you.
Senator.
Campaign headquarters said I could find you here.
What can I do for you?
A young woman was killed last night. Hit and run.
We went through her apartment, and we found this.
Now, I don't have enough evidence to bring you in,
but I would appreciate an explanation.
So would I. I never seen her before.
Well, that must have been tricky while she was cuddled up on your lap.
With all due respect, senator, pictures don't lie.
Hang on just a minute. This day and age, they most certainly do.
This picture's a fake.
Doesn't matter.
The minute it hits the press, the damage is done.
This could ruin me.
So it looks like the mudslinging's already started.
Dad, do you really think Lex would go this far?
Come on, Clark, you know Lex better than anybody.
He's not gonna enter a race unless he's sure he's gonna win.
Is it true, Lex?
You know, after you've been Mia for weeks,
I don't think a hello is too much to ask for.
How long you been planning to run for State Senate?
Several months now.
If you're implying I should've told you,
you might rethink the barrier you've drawn in this friendship.
I can't believe you'd destroy someone just to win a race.
There's a reason they call it a "race," not a "political potluck."
But if you think I had something to do with this...
Your competition was linked to a murder
just before you announce your candidacy.
It's a bit of a coincidence.
You don't recognize that picture?
The only thing I recognize is the booth.
It's the windgate gentleman's club.
Not a smart stop-off for an incumbent on the campaign trail.
I know this guy. If you're not trying to set him up, somebody is.
Maybe it's somebody at this club.
Clark, there's a reason that club's so underground.
The city doesn't exactly give licenses for some of the things that go on there.
Are you sure you wanna get involved in this?
Jack's like an uncle to me.
And in case you've forgotten, that's what friends do.
Look, if you're serious about getting through that front door...
You're gonna need a little more than your driver's license.
Do me a favor. Stay out of trouble.
I guess even mapquest has its limitations.
Do you get to this place through a manhole cover?
Or a big neon door.
I'd say the Armani suit's a dead giveaway.
Baby.
Hi!
Sorry, girls.
- Our friend's already in there. - It's her only night in town.
I promised I'd take her to the hottest address. Please?
It's a private club.
I'm afraid this is as much of the place as you're going to see.
I don't like that. That is...
This makes my Halloween Heidi dirndl costume look tame.
You think that Melissa girl was a dancer here?
I don't know.
Jimmy choos are a long way from angel wings and fishnets.
Excuse me. Hi.
Do you guys know anything about a woman named Melissa page?
People won't talk, but records definitely will.
If she worked here, she'll be on file.
Joel, David, come on up.
- Are you ladies lost? - Um, we were just looking for...
Oh, don't be shy. She's here to dance.
Are you the replacement Rocco sent over?
Yeah, uh, he really hated to see her go.
Take your clothes off. Let's see what you got.
- I knocked. I guess you didn't hear. - Oh, I heard you.
I'm here to see senator Jennings.
Lex, if you wanna sling mud,
I strongly recommend you do it at somebody else's house.
Don't worry, I'm not holding my breath for your vote.
You know, I've never liked you all that much, Lex,
but even I'm surprised by the depths you're willing to sink to.
I'm sure you have such a good view of it all from your pulpit.
Holier-than-thou is an easy fallback.
Keeps you from really looking at people around you.
I've known Jack for 25 years.
I've never had a more trustworthy or loyal friend.
This state needs somebody like him.
Somebody who's willing to stand by their word.
Somebody who's willing to do what's right for everybody,
not just for himself.
Somebody who's willing to go up against people like you.
Well, if you know him so well,
maybe you should ask your good old boy to explain this to you.
After Clark's visit,
I decided to look into the senator's unfortunate snapshot myself.
It's his cell-phone record.
Seems he's been calling his dead stripper friend
a little more than frequently.
When are you releasing this?
I'm not.
But if I found it, you know the press won't be far behind.
I thought he'd like a heads-up.
Lois, are you almost done?
You didn't have that much to put on.
Remind me when all this is over
to never, ever ask a favor of you again.
This isn't just about me. This is about getting the truth.
Well, the last girl that knew the truth
ended up as a hood ornament on someone's car.
Howdy.
You know, my friend's really excited about working here,
but I think it's kind of dangerous.
Especially after that girl was killed and everything.
How can I explain this to you?
Don't talk to me. Don't talk to any of us.
Well?
What do you think?
All I can say is...
God bless america.
J“ you're the boy I like the way you're walking and talking j“
-j“ feeling what you feel, boy, yeah, boy j“ -j“ you're the boy I like j“
-J“ oh, boyj“ -j“ you're the boy I like j“
j“ I love what you're doing so don't stop it, keep it going j“
-j“ yeah, boy j“ -j“ you do it right j“
j“ with just one look you got me just one kiss... j“
good evening. First time at the windgate?
Yeah, Lex Luthor referred me.
Will Mr. Luthor be joining you this evening?
I'm meeting Jack Jennings.
The senator? Let me show you to his usual table.
- On second thought, I... - No, no, no.
Thinking bad, dancing good.
Just ask Mr. Shoot-first-think-later over there.
Now, I need you to dig deep down and find your inner Demi Moore.
- Okay? - Okay.
You better at least use this distraction to find something about Melissa.
-J“ oh, boyj“ -j“ you're the boy I like j“
j“ I love what you're doing so don't stop it, keep it going... j“
- here you go. - Thank you.
You're welcome. Have a good evening.
Hey, handsome, what can I get for you?
I'll have a coke.
Straight up, on the rocks.
[Announceroverspeakefl gentlemen, let's give Colette a nice au revoir.
And now, making her first windgate appearance,
welcome to the stage
all-American girl Amber waves.
J“ that's why whenever I come around she's all over you j“
-j“ and I know you want it j“ -j“ I know you want it j“
-j“ it's easy to see j“ -j“ it's easy to see j“
j“ and in the back of your mind j“
j“ I know you should be on with me j“
j“ don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? J“
j“ don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak like me? J“
j“ don't you? J“
j“ don't you wish your girlfriend was raw like me? J“
j“ don't you wish your girlfriend was fun like me? J“
j“ don't you? J“
-j“ fight the feeling j“ -j“ fight the feeling j“
-j“ leave it alone j“ -j“ leave it alone j“
j“ 'cause if it ain't love it just ain't enough to leave a happy home... j“
bravo.
Bravo.
J“ let's keep it friendly j“
-j“ you have to play fair j“ -j“ you have to play fair j“
j“ see I don't care j“
j“ but I know she ain't gon' wanna share j“
j“ don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me? J“
I'd salute to that anytime.
Let's give it up for our red-blooded recruit.
And now, let's give a good homegrown welcome...
To Dixie.
J“ only got time for just a couple of beers and a jukebox song ringing in my ears... j“
- what are you doing here? - What are you doing here?
J“ shots are flowing, got me stoned, man j“
j“ all I really know is that I should be going j“
j“ but I'm soaking up the moment j“
j“ and I'm all jacked up I'm all jacked up... j“
it's Chloe's fault. We're following a murder story.
Well, that makes two of us. But I think I'll stick to my method.
J“ time sure flies when you're all jacked up... j“
You're gonna get me fired if you keep looking at me like I'm jabba the hutt.
- What do you want me to do? - —oh, uh...
I don't know. Give me a 20 and meet me out back.
J“ knocked out my tooth j“
j“ I guess I had it coming, I deserved it too j“
j“ 'cause I was all jacked up j“
j“ all jacked up... j“
bravo. That new girl, who is she? I want her.
I don't know, she's new.
For 500k, you know I don't ask any questions of my girls.
And for that much you better not answer any, either.
Everybody, freeze!
Metropolis pd. Everybody, take it easy.
We have a report of minors working and being served in this establishment.
We'll be interviewing you individually.
- Come on. - What?
Do you want to stick around and get arrested? Come on.
Really wrong time and really wrong place, kid.
You're under arrest.
What is this about?
We had a tip that a car involved in a hit-and-run was seen leaving your establishment.
- You can't just arrest... - The city's looked the other way.
Your clientele can pull a lot of strings.
Now I've got a dead 19-year-old on my hands. I gotta go by the book.
Okay, people, listen up. I know that it's 5:00 in the morning.
Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you.
All right, ladies.
- Clark? - Chloe.
- Where's Lois? - I don't know.
What are you...? Clark, what are you doing here?
Clark!
What do you wanna know? Maybe I can help you.
You're the bouncer. You know everything that goes on.
- Cut me a deal. - Tell me about Jennings.
He was drunk. I took him home.
He had nothing to do with the girl. He's innocent.
Wow, these are, um... They're heavier than they look.
They're way better than the heels, trust me.
So you guys must have been pretty close with Melissa, huh?
Uh, sorry, okay. Premature segue.
Come on, we're obviously on the same side here.
I just wanna know what happened to her.
It's a tragedy is what it is.
She finally gets her shot at prince charming
and, wham, bye-bye, ivory tower.
Are you talking about the senator?
No way. The only thing he did wrong was fall for her.
There's this suave guy, kind of euro-looking.
- What did he want with Melissa? - Every few months,
he picks some lucky girl and takes her out of this dump.
Probably to some tropical island somewhere.
You know why they invented fairy tales?
Because no one wants to face reality.
All we know is that the girls disappear, and then no one ever sees them again.
Somebody should've warned your friend about that.
- Lois? - Yeah.
I saw her leave with him during the raid.
Sullivan.
Let's go.
You can thank Lex Luthor for some very generous phone calls.
Detective Sawyer, I think the guy that killed Melissa page has my cousin.
It's the same guy who made some deal with the club owner before she vanished.
Do you know this guy's name?
Let me see if I'm understanding you.
Your cousin, who I'm assuming is underage,
was stripping and making deals with wealthy patrons.
- Managed to escape a police raid... - It's not like that.
- She was just helping me to investigate. - Investigate?
Okay, Luthor may have pulled a get-out-of—jail-free card
for you this time, but it will not happen again.
If you wanna play Nancy drew and Hardy boy,
do it in someone else's precinct.
Look, if I don't change my stance just because some poll tells me to,
I am certainly not going to because some journalist hears a rumor.
Okay, Jordan? Goodbye.
You just could not resist, could you?
You still have a nasty habit of leaving your keys in the ignition.
With you at the wheel?
I guess it wouldn't be the first time I put my life in your hands.
What? Damn thing's been stuck ever since I bought it.
Try that with a four-cylinder.
So, what's the real reason for the joyride?
When were you gonna tell me about the girl, Jack?
You think I had something to do with what happened?
I have no idea.
But I do think it's time you gave me some straight answers.
Look, I didn't want you to be involved.
There's only so much you should ask of a friend.
- Oh. So instead you lie to my face... - Well, what do you want me to say?
That my marriage is more of a business arrangement?
And the only person who makes me happy is some dancer half my age?
- How much of it do you understand? - I might not understand any of it.
But, come on, all of our lives have taken turns that we didn't expect.
You've never had a lie get out of hand?
Or you've never been caught at it?
I've never been in a position where people look up to me.
You are Clark's hero.
Oh, so I'm not supposed to have any faults, huh? Who can live up to that?
You know why there's no heroes today?
Because at the end of the day, people don't respect them, they envy them.
- They're waiting for them to screw up. - What are you gonna do, Jack?
What do you want me to do? I'm a good senator.
You wanna give that kind of power to somebody like Lex Luthor?
I might not agree with Lex Luthor's politics, but at least I know who he is.
- Nice place you got. - Thank you.
Well, thanks for helping me out back there.
My pleasure.
I think I have something a little more your size.
I won't peek. I promise.
Melissa.
You want me to help you tie it?
Oh, no, that's fine.
Almost got it.
What you doing there?
It looks so much better on you than any of the others.
You're going to make them veryjealous.
You know, I think I'm just gonna call a cab.
Think of your taxi days as a thing of the past.
You have a whole new life ahead of you now.
I don't know what kind of kink you're into, but...
You are seriously behind on your Gloria steinem.
Yeah, that's fine.
The owner of the windgate is selling his strippers to the highest bidder?
It's Kansas, it's definitely not Smallville.
Five hundred grand for a massage with benefits is a lot.
- Do you know anything else? - The bouncer told detective Sawyer
the guy was the son of some foreign diplomat.
Then he'd have diplomatic plates.
See, while you were inside, I was out in the parking lot,
taking shots of the license plates of all the cars.
- Here we go. - Okay, check that one.
- Chloe Sullivan. - He's got Lois.
Any psychic guesses on this guy's computer password?
God, don't even try. He's probably got like a zillion layers of security on it.
It's still warm. They must have just left.
- The printer's still on. - Try pressing print again.
Chloe, it's a fake passport for Lois.
Think they're gonna try to smuggle her out of the country?
Even if he does, I doubt he'll take her through an airport.
Clark, there's a helipad on the roof.
We're stuck on something.
Hey, 007. Nice of you to show up.
I'll start assuming that means thank you.
Looks like it got caught on the cable.
This scumbag was about to air-cargo me
to the honeymoon suite at the grope-a-cabana.
I'm glad you're all right.
Now, if you will release him, I'm afraid Mr. Lyon is free to go.
What?
You can't just let him walk away.
Diplomatic immunity.
As a consulate guest in our country,
Mr. Lyon can't be arrested or tried for any crime he commits on our soil.
Even murder. I'm sorry, I can't touch him.
- Well, I can. - Aah!
Some people live above the rules.
Guess what. That's life in Metropolis.
You want justice,
I suggest you stay a little closer to home.
We'll finish this later.
- All right. - Yes, sir.
I just wanna say thank you.
When I asked you to stay out of trouble, I thought that might include
being caught at a strip club using my membership
while I'm gearing up for a campaign.
- I didn't mean to drag you into this. - Come on, Clark, who you kidding?
You had me masterminding this plot before you walked through those doors.
- I didn't think he was lying to me. - But you assumed I would.
I can't believe that I looked up to Jack.
Tell me what you remember about king David.
Humor me.
King David.
He slew Goliath, saved his people.
And aftennard,
he saw a beautiful woman bathing and fell madly in love.
Problem was, she turned out to be his best friend's wife.
So you know what our great hero did?
He sent his best friend off to die in battle so he could have her to himself.
Kind of leave that part out, don't they?
We all need to believe in heroes, Clark.
And even the best ones are far from perfect.
Surprised to see your car out front.
I thought you'd be gone now that you're clear of murder.
I've been mulling over some pretty tough decisions.
This seemed like a good place to get my bearings again.
Have you talked to my dad yet?
I'd say he did most of the talking.
After 20 years, the man's still got a hell of a knack for the guilt trip, doesn't he?
Usually works because he's right.
Your father's always had pretty high expectations of the people around him.
He's the one man I never wanted to disappoint.
You should try being his son.
The thing I always try to remember is, no matter how much he lays on...
He never expects more than he expects of himself.
You think your dad will ever forgive me?
Yeah, I've given him a lot of trial runs in the forgiveness arena.
Look, I know my dad's friendship means a lot to you...
But there's a lot of other people out there who look up to you.
I guess you can only pull off the disguise of being superhuman for so long, huh?
What are you gonna do?
I've called a press conference.
I'm pulling out of the race.
Going back to the city, facing all those reporters takes a lot of guts.
After facing you,
live feeds and bloodthirsty journalists are a walk in the park.
Look, if we let a couple of rough days destroy over 25 years of friendship,
then I guess we weren't as good of friends as I thought we were.
Jack, if you're pulling out of this race
because your old buddy can't seem to climb off of his pulpit,
that's not what I wanted. All I really ask is that you be honest.
I'm pulling out of the race because I'm no longer the best man for the job.
Are you sure?
If you wanna hang in there and fight, I'll be behind you 100 percent.
I know.
But all those things you said about me being loyal and trustworthy,
and willing to take on the Luthors of the world...
I might have been that man once, but I have to step aside
when I see somebody who still embodies all those qualities.
Jack, you can't seriously be talking about Lex Luthor.
I'm talking about you, Jon.
Kansas could use a senator like you.
Hey, Smallville.
Your personal space is about to be reinstated.
What are you doing? You just moved back in.
Well, now that Lana's living with Chloe, I'm taking the place.
You don't have a key to the apartment, do you?
You know, now that you two have been doing it.
- No, we, uh... - Good.
I wouldn't want any surprise midnight visits.
Anything I can do to make this move go faster?
Pack your three closets of clothing?
Burn your ioofa? Take your whitesnake collection to goodwill?
You can take this.
Come on, Smallville. Move it.
J“ cold hands, warm heart we just need some time apart... j“
you know, this is weird. I've spent so much time here with Lana.
Clark, it's not like I'm taking her place, just her sublet.
Okay, before I start any of the real heavy lifting,
you have to indulge me for just a moment
in my first daily planet byline.
It's not exactly the torch, Clark. Page 73.
J“ and don't tell me it's "just because"... j“
at the bottom.
J“ all work, no play don't wanna go on this way... j“
- congratulations. - Congratulations.
Thanks, you deserve half the credit.
I'd still be playing point guard at the pet obituary hotline if it weren't for you two.
Oh, it says here Interpol was able to arrest him
due to an anonymous tip.
- About that heavy lifting... - Uh-huh.
J“ if we can only take it this far... j“
look, I'm not great at this, so just keep your mouth shut and listen up.
Even though I was kicking butt on the helicopter,
it was nice to have backup.
And you didn't have to come after me, but you always do.
So I wanted to say thank you. You're a really good friend.
Oh, and about the lap dance?
If you decide to tell anybody about it,
your Elmer Fudd night-light will make a very public appearance.
Aye, aye...
Sailor.