1 00:00:02,378 --> 00:00:03,754 I know a certain kitty-kitty 2 00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:04,964 who's sleeping with mommy tonight. 3 00:00:05,089 --> 00:00:06,424 [laughter] 4 00:00:06,549 --> 00:00:08,551 That is a hoot and a holler. 5 00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:11,345 This next episode is by far our favorite. 6 00:00:11,470 --> 00:00:13,180 It's called "Volcano." 7 00:00:13,305 --> 00:00:14,974 In it, the boys go camping with Stan's uncle Jimbo 8 00:00:15,099 --> 00:00:16,434 and his friend Ned. 9 00:00:16,559 --> 00:00:18,019 While camping, they encounter 10 00:00:18,144 --> 00:00:20,229 a strange creature in a deadly volcano. 11 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,939 I think the reason that this episode is, 12 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:24,025 well, Scratch's favorite anyway 13 00:00:24,150 --> 00:00:25,568 is because it deals with an issue 14 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,611 that is really important to Matt and I. 15 00:00:27,737 --> 00:00:30,072 You see, we grew up in the Colorado Rockies, 16 00:00:30,197 --> 00:00:32,366 and there black bear hunting is illegal. 17 00:00:32,491 --> 00:00:34,785 Well, a few years ago a man shot a black bear 18 00:00:34,910 --> 00:00:36,829 and her two cubs out of a tree. 19 00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:38,456 When taken to jail the man said, 20 00:00:38,581 --> 00:00:40,374 "Well, they were coming right for us," 21 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:42,251 but he'd shot the black bears out of a tree, 22 00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,794 so it was ridiculous. 23 00:00:43,919 --> 00:00:46,297 That's not funny. 24 00:00:46,422 --> 00:00:48,466 What America's really dying to know is, 25 00:00:48,591 --> 00:00:50,718 is there really a Scuzzlebutt? 26 00:00:50,843 --> 00:00:53,721 People have to understand, these are all works of fiction. 27 00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:55,347 There's no such thing as aliens. 28 00:00:55,473 --> 00:00:57,099 There's no such thing as Scuzzlebutt. 29 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:59,518 And there's no such thing as Patrick Duffy. 30 00:00:59,643 --> 00:01:02,480 What happened to Ned to cause him to speak the way he does? 31 00:01:02,605 --> 00:01:04,482 Well, Ned is actually our favorite character 32 00:01:04,607 --> 00:01:06,192 in all of South Park. 33 00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:09,653 He had a laryngectomy from smoking too much 34 00:01:09,779 --> 00:01:11,614 and got throat cancer. 35 00:01:11,739 --> 00:01:13,365 [imitating electronic speech] So now he talks like this. 36 00:01:13,491 --> 00:01:16,786 I guess we can all take a lesson from Ned. 37 00:01:16,911 --> 00:01:20,164 So sit back, relax and enjoy "Volcano." 38 00:01:20,289 --> 00:01:22,291 [gentle music] 39 00:01:29,673 --> 00:01:32,510 [upbeat music] 40 00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:34,303 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪ 41 00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,180 ♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪ 42 00:01:36,305 --> 00:01:37,848 both: ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ 43 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,475 ♪ Humble folks without temptations ♪ 44 00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:40,893 ♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪ 45 00:01:41,018 --> 00:01:43,145 ♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪ 46 00:01:43,270 --> 00:01:44,772 ♪ Ample parking day or night ♪ 47 00:01:44,897 --> 00:01:46,482 ♪ People spouting "Howdy neighbor" ♪ 48 00:01:46,607 --> 00:01:47,900 ♪ Heading on up to South Park ♪ 49 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,652 ♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ 50 00:01:49,777 --> 00:01:53,030 ♪ [muffled singing] ♪ 51 00:01:53,155 --> 00:01:54,532 ♪ So come on down to South park ♪ 52 00:01:54,657 --> 00:01:56,492 ♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪ 53 00:01:56,617 --> 00:01:58,661 Now you be careful, Eric. 54 00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:01,122 The woods can be very dangerous. 55 00:02:01,247 --> 00:02:04,250 Okay, Mom. 56 00:02:04,375 --> 00:02:06,210 Ready to go hunting, Cartman? 57 00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:08,671 Yeah, my Uncle Jimbo says we gotta get up there early. 58 00:02:08,796 --> 00:02:09,713 Right, Uncle Jimbo? 59 00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:11,507 That's right, Stanley. 60 00:02:11,632 --> 00:02:13,634 Animals are much easier to shoot in the morning. 61 00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,136 Here, hon. 62 00:02:15,261 --> 00:02:17,680 I packed you Cheesy Poofs and Happy Tarts. 63 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:20,224 Don't worry, Miss Cartman, we'll take care of him. 64 00:02:20,349 --> 00:02:23,352 I brought my old war buddy, Ned, to keep things safe. 65 00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:27,022 Hello, Mrs. Cartman. How are you today? 66 00:02:27,148 --> 00:02:29,275 - Be sure to use lots of bug spray, 67 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,860 and if you have to poo-poo, 68 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:33,028 don't wipe with poison ivy. 69 00:02:33,154 --> 00:02:35,656 [laughter] Dude, that's sick, Mom! 70 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,826 And I know it can get scary up in those woods, 71 00:02:38,951 --> 00:02:42,663 but just remember, Mommy's not far away. 72 00:02:42,788 --> 00:02:45,082 [laughter] - Drive! Drive! 73 00:02:45,207 --> 00:02:47,209 You give your mommy a kissy. 74 00:02:47,334 --> 00:02:49,128 Drive the car, damn it! Drive! 75 00:02:51,297 --> 00:02:53,507 "Don't get scared up in the mountains, Cartman." 76 00:02:53,632 --> 00:02:55,759 Shut up! I'm not scared of nothing. 77 00:02:55,885 --> 00:02:58,387 Maybe your mom can give me a kiss too, Cartman. 78 00:02:58,512 --> 00:02:59,930 [muffled speech] 79 00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:03,017 Oh, oh! That's disgusting. 80 00:03:03,142 --> 00:03:05,186 You piece of crap! I'll kill you! 81 00:03:05,311 --> 00:03:06,854 That's the spirit, boys. 82 00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:09,023 Let's get that testosterone flowing. 83 00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:10,858 Yeeh! 84 00:03:10,983 --> 00:03:13,194 Now, boys, boys, I need to get serious for a minute. 85 00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:16,280 I want you to understand a few basic rules of hunting, 86 00:03:16,405 --> 00:03:17,990 since this is your first time. 87 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,159 First of all, don't ever walk with your gun 88 00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:21,869 unless the safety's on. 89 00:03:21,994 --> 00:03:24,205 Second, don't shoot anything that looks human. 90 00:03:24,330 --> 00:03:27,041 And third, never spill your beer in the bullet chamber. 91 00:03:27,166 --> 00:03:29,376 Uh, Uncle Jimbo, we don't drink beer. 92 00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:30,461 You what?! 93 00:03:30,586 --> 00:03:32,087 Yeah, that's right, 94 00:03:32,213 --> 00:03:34,340 I don't think eight-year-old kids drink beer. 95 00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:36,342 I like chocolate milk! 96 00:03:36,467 --> 00:03:38,844 Well, we'll be doing plenty of drinking on this trip. 97 00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:42,014 After all, hunter sober is like... 98 00:03:42,139 --> 00:03:44,308 Fishing...sober. 99 00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,477 It sure will be nice to get out of the city 100 00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:48,646 for a while, away from civilization. 101 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,486 Well, here we are. 102 00:03:55,611 --> 00:03:58,864 Okay, each of you young'uns take a gun, a beer, 103 00:03:58,989 --> 00:04:00,824 and some smokes. 104 00:04:00,950 --> 00:04:03,869 Hey, I didn't get a gun. 105 00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:06,914 Sweet. This is like the gun I used in 'Nam. 106 00:04:07,039 --> 00:04:08,707 You weren't in Vietnam, Cartman. 107 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,960 Were you stationed in Da Nang? 108 00:04:11,085 --> 00:04:12,378 Cartman always makes stuff up, Ned. 109 00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:13,963 You can't believe anything he says. 110 00:04:14,088 --> 00:04:15,923 Hey, I'll blow your freaking head off. 111 00:04:16,048 --> 00:04:18,425 Hey, look out, son. That's dangerous. 112 00:04:18,550 --> 00:04:20,302 You're gonna spill your beer. 113 00:04:25,224 --> 00:04:26,767 My Uncle Jimbo says that after this 114 00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:28,644 he's gonna take me hunting in Africa. 115 00:04:28,769 --> 00:04:30,562 Wow, that'll be cool. 116 00:04:30,688 --> 00:04:34,233 My mom says there's a lot of black people in Africa. 117 00:04:34,358 --> 00:04:35,901 Boys, lookie there. 118 00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:38,320 That there is a Rocky Mountain black bear. 119 00:04:38,445 --> 00:04:39,863 One of the few remaining of its kind. 120 00:04:39,989 --> 00:04:42,032 Isn't it beautiful? 121 00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:43,951 My God, it's coming right for us! 122 00:04:47,371 --> 00:04:49,164 Hey, it wasn't coming right for us. 123 00:04:49,290 --> 00:04:51,625 It was just sitting there. - Shh, not so loud. 124 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,669 Now that there is just a technicality. 125 00:04:53,794 --> 00:04:55,337 What do you mean? - You see, boys, 126 00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:57,339 the Democrats have passed a lot of laws 127 00:04:57,464 --> 00:04:58,924 trying to stop us from hunting. 128 00:04:59,049 --> 00:05:00,676 Democrats piss me off! 129 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,761 They say we can't shoot certain animals anymore 130 00:05:02,886 --> 00:05:05,055 unless they're posing an immediate threat. 131 00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,141 Therefore, before we shoot something, 132 00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,685 we have to say, "It's coming right for us." 133 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,353 Wow, you're smart, Uncle Jimbo. 134 00:05:11,478 --> 00:05:13,522 Jimbo, look. 135 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,733 Oh, it's a deer. 136 00:05:15,858 --> 00:05:19,194 Looks like about a 45-gauge, Ned. 137 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:22,114 It's coming right for us! 138 00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:27,036 Kickass! 139 00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:28,829 Did you see that? 140 00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:31,165 I was imperiled by that ferocious, charging buck. 141 00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,917 Rabbit, rabbit, five o'clock. 142 00:05:35,336 --> 00:05:37,880 Let's move! Move! 143 00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:40,049 Is this hunting? - I guess so. 144 00:05:40,174 --> 00:05:42,760 Uh, dude, I'm starting to have flashbacks. 145 00:05:42,885 --> 00:05:45,179 What? - Stand forth, pull up flank. 146 00:05:45,304 --> 00:05:47,931 Look out for Charlies up in the trees. 147 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,937 This one's yours, Stan. 148 00:05:56,648 --> 00:05:59,777 It's coming right for us. - It's coming right for us. 149 00:06:03,530 --> 00:06:06,033 Shoot it, Stan. - I got your back, soldier. 150 00:06:07,785 --> 00:06:10,162 I can't. 151 00:06:10,287 --> 00:06:11,997 What the-- What's wrong with you? 152 00:06:12,122 --> 00:06:13,582 I don't wanna shoot the bunny. 153 00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,042 What the hell are you talking about, 154 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:16,668 you don't wanna shoot the bunny? 155 00:06:16,794 --> 00:06:18,295 You're babbling, you're not making any sense. 156 00:06:18,420 --> 00:06:19,797 You're hysterical. - I'm not hysterical. 157 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:21,548 I just don't wanna shoot the bunny. 158 00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,300 No nephew of mine is gonna be a tree-hugger. 159 00:06:23,425 --> 00:06:25,094 Yeah, hippie, go back to Woodstock 160 00:06:25,219 --> 00:06:26,970 if you can't shoot anything. 161 00:06:27,096 --> 00:06:29,264 I can shoot you, fatass! - I can shoot you, too! 162 00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,517 I'll kill you! - I'll fill you full of lead! 163 00:06:31,642 --> 00:06:33,435 [rumbling] 164 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,562 Hey, what's that? 165 00:06:37,523 --> 00:06:39,942 [humming] 166 00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:47,741 ♪♪ 167 00:06:47,866 --> 00:06:49,326 [snores] 168 00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:51,036 Hmm? 169 00:06:51,161 --> 00:06:53,956 What the heck is this? 170 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,666 Yeah, Frank. It's Randy. 171 00:06:55,791 --> 00:06:58,043 Uh-huh. Good. 172 00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:01,130 Yeah, listen, the little needle is moving. 173 00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:02,923 Yeah, it's going back and forth really fast. 174 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:05,843 What does that mean? Uh-huh? 175 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:09,638 Uh-huh. Let me check. 176 00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:12,558 Yeah, it's smoking. Uh-huh. 177 00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:16,770 Oh, really? Really? 178 00:07:16,895 --> 00:07:19,857 Oh, my God, a volcano. 179 00:07:19,982 --> 00:07:22,860 [dramatic musical sting] 180 00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:24,403 ♪♪ 181 00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,530 [slurps, sighs] 182 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:33,245 My weenies won't cook. 183 00:07:33,370 --> 00:07:35,497 This wood won't burn. 184 00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:37,207 Well, Ned, looks like we'll have to use 185 00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:38,834 the old Indian fire trick. 186 00:07:38,959 --> 00:07:40,836 Yep. 187 00:07:45,591 --> 00:07:48,260 [yelling] 188 00:07:48,385 --> 00:07:49,761 [laughs] 189 00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:51,847 Hey, stop, drop and roll, Ned. 190 00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:54,516 [laughs] 191 00:07:54,641 --> 00:07:56,185 both: Whoa! 192 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,312 God damn it, Ned. I just got that van. 193 00:07:58,437 --> 00:08:00,397 How the hell are we supposed to get home? 194 00:08:00,522 --> 00:08:02,816 Oh, it hurts, it hurts! 195 00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,943 Hey, you guys. 196 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,904 This works pretty good right now. 197 00:08:07,029 --> 00:08:09,698 But you see, Mr. Mayor, 198 00:08:09,823 --> 00:08:12,075 you can't stop serving Salisbury steak 199 00:08:12,201 --> 00:08:13,660 in our public schools. 200 00:08:13,785 --> 00:08:15,621 What's next, meatloaf? 201 00:08:15,746 --> 00:08:18,707 We are quite aware of your concerns, Chef, but-- 202 00:08:18,832 --> 00:08:21,043 Mayor, the geologist is here to see you. 203 00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,170 My geologist? Now? 204 00:08:23,295 --> 00:08:24,546 Tell him the infection is fine 205 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:26,215 and I don't need another checkup. 206 00:08:26,340 --> 00:08:28,175 No, Mayor, that's a gynecologist. 207 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,093 A geologist studies the earth. 208 00:08:30,219 --> 00:08:32,179 Don't you think I know that? 209 00:08:32,304 --> 00:08:34,056 How dare you insult my intellect. 210 00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,016 I went to Princeton for God's sake. 211 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:37,643 You get out of my office. 212 00:08:37,768 --> 00:08:39,394 I'm not in your office, Mayor. 213 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:42,731 I'm talking to you through a speaker. 214 00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:45,317 Just send in the geometrist. - Geologist. 215 00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:47,319 You are fired, buddy! 216 00:08:47,444 --> 00:08:49,530 Thank you, Mayor. It's been great working for you. 217 00:08:49,655 --> 00:08:51,865 Mayor, we've got a very big problem. 218 00:08:51,990 --> 00:08:53,784 Mount Evanson is about to erupt. 219 00:08:53,909 --> 00:08:57,788 [dramatic musical sting] 220 00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,957 What does this mean to the town? 221 00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:02,960 Well, this graph shows everything from normal to bad. 222 00:09:03,085 --> 00:09:05,170 Right now, South Park is here. 223 00:09:05,295 --> 00:09:08,173 [dramatic musical sting] 224 00:09:08,298 --> 00:09:15,305 ♪♪ 225 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,725 My God. 226 00:09:18,850 --> 00:09:20,811 Mayor, some of the school children 227 00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:23,855 are up camping on that mountain right now. 228 00:09:23,981 --> 00:09:25,232 Oh, this is big. 229 00:09:25,357 --> 00:09:27,401 Johnson, Johnson, are you there? 230 00:09:27,526 --> 00:09:29,152 Uh, you just fired Johnson, Mayor. 231 00:09:29,278 --> 00:09:30,779 I'm his replacement, Ted. 232 00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,948 Ted, we have got a major crisis here. 233 00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:34,825 I want you to get on the phone and call 234 00:09:34,950 --> 00:09:37,119 "Inside Edition," "Rescue 911," 235 00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:38,954 oh, and "Entertainment Tonight." 236 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:41,123 You better get my stylist on the phone, too. 237 00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,376 Don't worry. Things are under control. 238 00:09:46,044 --> 00:09:49,673 And then Ned picked up the grenade and--boom!-- 239 00:09:49,798 --> 00:09:51,592 blasted his arm clear off. 240 00:09:51,717 --> 00:09:54,344 We spent three hours looking for that damn arm, 241 00:09:54,469 --> 00:09:56,179 but it was never to be found. 242 00:09:56,305 --> 00:09:59,182 Some say it's still crawling around to this day. 243 00:09:59,308 --> 00:10:00,809 [growls] 244 00:10:00,934 --> 00:10:02,936 [laughter] - Ha, gotcha! 245 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,896 Heh, that's not scary. 246 00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:07,024 You were scared, Cartman. You almost peed your pants. 247 00:10:07,149 --> 00:10:09,151 Shut up! I didn't pee my pants. 248 00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:10,694 Hey, Ned, hand me that gin. 249 00:10:13,614 --> 00:10:15,532 You boys want to tie one on? 250 00:10:15,657 --> 00:10:17,618 No, no thanks. That stuff tastes like pee. 251 00:10:17,743 --> 00:10:20,495 Yeah, Cartman's pee. - Hey, you would taste my pee. 252 00:10:20,621 --> 00:10:21,872 What the hell is wrong with you? 253 00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:24,499 Can't you have a little alcohol? 254 00:10:26,001 --> 00:10:29,713 Christ, look at that little bastard go! 255 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:31,340 Now you see that, Stan? 256 00:10:31,465 --> 00:10:33,634 Now that is a dirty little bastard. 257 00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,969 Hey, I'm a dirty little bastard, too. 258 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:38,513 Hey, you guys, I know a scary story. 259 00:10:38,639 --> 00:10:40,974 Shut up, Cartman. You can't scare anybody. 260 00:10:41,099 --> 00:10:42,559 Oh, yeah? 261 00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:45,437 You guys ever heard of Scuzzlebutt? 262 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:46,688 What-lebutt? 263 00:10:46,813 --> 00:10:48,357 Scuzzlebutt is a creature 264 00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,984 that lives up on this very mountain 265 00:10:51,109 --> 00:10:54,363 and kills anybody who dares climb to the top. 266 00:10:54,488 --> 00:10:55,989 Why? 267 00:10:56,114 --> 00:10:57,991 Because it loves the taste of blood 268 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:01,578 and likes to add pieces to its deformed body. 269 00:11:01,703 --> 00:11:03,038 Deformed how? 270 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:04,998 Well, on his left arm 271 00:11:05,123 --> 00:11:07,292 instead of a hand, he has... 272 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,710 A hook. - A knife. 273 00:11:08,835 --> 00:11:11,963 No, a piece of celery. - Celery? 274 00:11:12,089 --> 00:11:14,007 Yes, and he walks with a limp, 275 00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,426 because one of his legs is missing. 276 00:11:16,551 --> 00:11:18,261 And where his leg should be, 277 00:11:18,387 --> 00:11:21,264 there's nothing but... Patrick Duffy. 278 00:11:21,390 --> 00:11:23,475 Patrick Duffy? 279 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,435 Damn it, Cartman, that's not scary. 280 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:27,813 What do you mean? Have you ever seen "Step by Step?" 281 00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:30,857 So he lives alone on this mountain 282 00:11:30,982 --> 00:11:33,610 and weaves baskets and other assorted crafts. 283 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:35,487 They say that on quiet nights 284 00:11:35,612 --> 00:11:37,906 you can hear him weaving his baskets. 285 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:41,076 Ka-shink, ka-shink, ka-shink. 286 00:11:41,201 --> 00:11:43,453 Cartman, you suck at telling scary stories. 287 00:11:43,578 --> 00:11:44,913 Yeah, give me that flashlight. 288 00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:45,914 [muffled speech] 289 00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:48,417 [rumbling] 290 00:11:48,542 --> 00:11:50,043 What's that? - Maybe it's Scuzzlebutt 291 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,837 coming to weave us into wicker baskets. 292 00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:53,672 Hey, it might be. 293 00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,425 Gosh, I hope he doesn't cut me with his celery hand. 294 00:11:56,550 --> 00:11:57,718 [laughter] - Screw you guys! 295 00:11:57,843 --> 00:11:59,928 Fatass! - Go to hell! 296 00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,931 Hey, Ned, why don't you whip out the old cancer kazoo. 297 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:06,226 Let's do a little song. 298 00:12:06,351 --> 00:12:08,770 ♪ Kumbaya, my Lord ♪ 299 00:12:08,895 --> 00:12:11,565 ♪ Kumbaya ♪ 300 00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,025 ♪ Kumbaya, my Lord ♪ 301 00:12:14,151 --> 00:12:16,361 ♪ Kumbaya ♪ 302 00:12:16,486 --> 00:12:18,739 ♪ Kumbaya, my Lord ♪ 303 00:12:18,864 --> 00:12:21,700 ♪ Kumbaya ♪ 304 00:12:21,825 --> 00:12:26,496 ♪ Oh Lord, Kumbaya ♪ 305 00:12:26,621 --> 00:12:30,292 ♪ Someone's crying, Lord, Kumbaya ♪ 306 00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,502 They don't think Scuzzlebutt is scary, huh? 307 00:12:32,627 --> 00:12:34,004 Let's see how they like it 308 00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,339 when they actually see Scuzzlebutt. 309 00:12:36,465 --> 00:12:38,216 I'll scare the hell out of them tomorrow. 310 00:12:38,341 --> 00:12:42,012 ♪ Someone's crying, Lord, Kumbaya ♪ 311 00:12:42,137 --> 00:12:45,599 ♪ Oh Lord, Kumbaya ♪ 312 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:49,144 [rooster crows] 313 00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:51,188 Stan, Stan, wake up. 314 00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:52,689 What, dude? 315 00:12:52,814 --> 00:12:54,232 I don't know where Cartman is. 316 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,525 I think something took him away. 317 00:12:55,650 --> 00:12:57,068 Where's my Uncle Jimbo and Ned? 318 00:12:57,194 --> 00:12:58,987 They're out fishing with Kenny. 319 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:01,948 With Kenny? But this is supposed to be my camping trip. 320 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:03,784 Why do they like Kenny so much? 321 00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:05,827 Doesn't he like me anymore? 322 00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,913 Well, Stan, you want to know what I think? 323 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:10,040 What? - [farts] 324 00:13:11,917 --> 00:13:13,960 What a beautiful morning for fishing. 325 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:16,171 There's one. There's a fish right there. 326 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,884 Got it. 327 00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:24,596 Great instincts, boy. 328 00:13:24,721 --> 00:13:26,431 Uncle Jimbo, Cartman's missing. 329 00:13:26,556 --> 00:13:28,683 Who? The fat kid? 330 00:13:28,809 --> 00:13:30,811 Yeah. - Ah, hell. 331 00:13:30,936 --> 00:13:32,771 I guess we better go look for him. 332 00:13:32,896 --> 00:13:34,189 Ned, you gotta cut it short. 333 00:13:34,314 --> 00:13:36,316 Fire out the 12-20. 334 00:13:40,779 --> 00:13:42,739 Well, I think that's about the limit 335 00:13:42,864 --> 00:13:44,282 for our fishing permit. 336 00:13:44,407 --> 00:13:47,202 Oh, man, it smells like dead fish. 337 00:13:47,327 --> 00:13:48,829 [muffled speech] 338 00:13:48,954 --> 00:13:51,748 Oh, man, that is nasty. 339 00:13:51,873 --> 00:13:54,084 Yeah, I don't think I've ever seen a kid 340 00:13:54,209 --> 00:13:55,627 as cool as you, Kenny. 341 00:13:55,752 --> 00:13:58,171 I'm making you my honorary nephew. 342 00:13:58,296 --> 00:13:59,172 [muffled speech] 343 00:13:59,297 --> 00:14:01,299 [somber music] 344 00:14:03,677 --> 00:14:06,805 The people of South Park are humble and friendly, 345 00:14:06,930 --> 00:14:08,974 but now a ticking time bomb of hot lava 346 00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:11,434 waits to engulf these people and end their miserable lives 347 00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,061 with one last fleeting moment 348 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:15,689 of excruciatingly painful, burning agony. 349 00:14:15,814 --> 00:14:18,900 Hey, I'm on TV! I'm on TV! 350 00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,610 Mayor, what are you doing 351 00:14:20,735 --> 00:14:22,487 to prepare for this inevitable catastrophe? 352 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:26,449 All we know right now is that some of our children 353 00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:29,911 are camping on that mountain and--uh, I'm sorry. 354 00:14:30,036 --> 00:14:31,788 Can I start over? - Huh? 355 00:14:31,913 --> 00:14:35,584 - You can edit this, right? Ready? Three, two, one. 356 00:14:35,709 --> 00:14:37,335 All we know right now 357 00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:39,087 is that some of our children 358 00:14:39,212 --> 00:14:41,172 are up camping on that mountain. 359 00:14:41,298 --> 00:14:44,009 We can't do anything until we get them. 360 00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:49,055 Okay, people, let's go get those kids! 361 00:14:49,180 --> 00:14:52,058 Come on, everybody. You gotta help the children. 362 00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:56,313 Well, he couldn't have gone far. 363 00:14:56,438 --> 00:14:58,064 Unless something drug him off. 364 00:14:58,189 --> 00:15:01,818 There's not many animals out today, Jimbo. 365 00:15:01,943 --> 00:15:04,863 Yeah, it's almost like something funny's going on. 366 00:15:04,988 --> 00:15:07,490 [rumbling] 367 00:15:07,616 --> 00:15:09,492 Christ, Ned, what'd you have for breakfast? 368 00:15:09,618 --> 00:15:12,662 I don't know, man. I've got some bad gas. 369 00:15:12,787 --> 00:15:15,040 Wait, there's a ram. 370 00:15:15,165 --> 00:15:16,875 It's coming right for us! 371 00:15:20,295 --> 00:15:21,796 Nice shooting, Kenny! 372 00:15:21,922 --> 00:15:24,090 Here, you need a bigger gun. 373 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:27,135 Look! - I am Scuzzlebutt, 374 00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,929 Lord of the mountains. 375 00:15:29,054 --> 00:15:31,306 Behold my Patrick Duffy leg. 376 00:15:31,431 --> 00:15:33,099 What is it? 377 00:15:33,224 --> 00:15:35,185 Dude, it's Scuzzlebutt! Cartman wasn't lying. 378 00:15:35,310 --> 00:15:38,229 Holy crow! We could make a mint killing this thing. 379 00:15:38,355 --> 00:15:41,024 We'll be on the cover of "Guns & Ammo." 380 00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:43,693 This calls for some HJ-14. 381 00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:46,613 [chuckles] Those guys are totally scared. 382 00:15:46,738 --> 00:15:49,074 Fire in the hole! 383 00:15:50,784 --> 00:15:51,993 Holy crap! 384 00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,247 Damn it, I think I missed. 385 00:15:56,373 --> 00:15:58,667 What the hell is wrong with you people? 386 00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:00,835 Come on, let's move! Move! 387 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:03,755 Wait, wait, ahhh! 388 00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,423 Is it on? Okay. 389 00:16:05,548 --> 00:16:08,343 Okay, people, form groups and search the mountain. 390 00:16:08,468 --> 00:16:11,262 Report back here every hour. You got that? 391 00:16:11,388 --> 00:16:14,432 Mayor, I might have an idea. - Oh, what? 392 00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,393 Well, if we can dig a very large trench, 393 00:16:16,518 --> 00:16:19,062 we can divert the lava into a canyon, 394 00:16:19,187 --> 00:16:22,315 and then it would bypass South Park pretty much completely. 395 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:24,401 And that would be good, right? 396 00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:25,860 I'm pretty sure. 397 00:16:25,986 --> 00:16:27,946 Well, what are we waiting for? 398 00:16:28,071 --> 00:16:30,156 Okay, people, change of plans. 399 00:16:30,281 --> 00:16:32,242 Half of you grabs shovels. 400 00:16:32,367 --> 00:16:34,995 These look like his tracks. He must have gone this way. 401 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,081 Ned, prepare some HK-12 and some Plasticine. 402 00:16:38,206 --> 00:16:40,667 I'll bet that sucker is headed for a higher elevation. 403 00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,753 The higher up it--bird! 404 00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:46,256 The higher up it goes, the better it can breathe. 405 00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,717 Look, up there! 406 00:16:48,842 --> 00:16:51,553 You guys, it's just me. 407 00:16:51,678 --> 00:16:53,388 Are we sure it's Scuzzlebutt? 408 00:16:53,513 --> 00:16:55,348 Does it have Patrick Duffy for a leg? 409 00:16:55,473 --> 00:16:57,183 I can't tell. Let's kill it. 410 00:16:57,308 --> 00:17:00,145 Got to get out of this stupid costume. 411 00:17:00,270 --> 00:17:01,730 Kenny, you take the front. 412 00:17:01,855 --> 00:17:03,481 No, I can do it, Uncle Jimbo. 413 00:17:03,606 --> 00:17:05,108 I want to bag that animal. 414 00:17:05,233 --> 00:17:07,777 That's the spirit, kiddo. Let's hunt! 415 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,863 You guys, you guys, I was just kidding! 416 00:17:09,988 --> 00:17:11,573 - As some people of South Park 417 00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:13,283 try desperately to save their mountain town, 418 00:17:13,408 --> 00:17:15,243 others look for the missing townspeople. 419 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:17,996 But all must take every precaution necessary. 420 00:17:18,121 --> 00:17:20,081 Okay, people, listen up. 421 00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,375 As we near the top of the mountain, 422 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:26,171 the chances of our encountering some lava becomes great. 423 00:17:26,296 --> 00:17:28,465 Therefore, I have special ordered 424 00:17:28,590 --> 00:17:30,633 this training film to assist us 425 00:17:30,759 --> 00:17:32,635 in volcano safety. 426 00:17:32,761 --> 00:17:34,763 Mr. Garrison, if you would, please. 427 00:17:34,888 --> 00:17:37,640 [cheerful music] 428 00:17:37,766 --> 00:17:40,018 Harbingers of sorrow, natural disasters can be 429 00:17:40,143 --> 00:17:42,771 the cause of troubling and undesirable stress, 430 00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,981 and a volcano is no exception. 431 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,400 But what should you do if a volcano erupts near you 432 00:17:47,525 --> 00:17:49,027 or your family? 433 00:17:49,152 --> 00:17:50,987 Here, we see the Stephens Family 434 00:17:51,112 --> 00:17:52,697 enjoying--Sunday picnic. 435 00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,908 But suddenly, daughter hears a noise. 436 00:17:55,033 --> 00:17:57,077 It's a volcano. Junior seems worried. 437 00:17:57,202 --> 00:17:58,745 But have no fear, Junior. 438 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,288 Jane learned in school what to do 439 00:18:00,413 --> 00:18:03,041 when you hear a volcano erupt. 440 00:18:03,166 --> 00:18:05,710 That's right, Jane, duck and cover. 441 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:09,047 [rumbling] 442 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:13,093 So what will--do when you hear a volcano erupting? 443 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:16,096 That's right, duck and cover. 444 00:18:16,221 --> 00:18:18,181 Looks like you got the idea. 445 00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:20,183 Duck and cover. 446 00:18:20,308 --> 00:18:22,852 Thank you and good-bye. 447 00:18:22,977 --> 00:18:24,854 Okay, any questions? 448 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:27,315 That has got to be the most ridiculous 449 00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:30,318 load of pig crap I have ever seen. 450 00:18:30,443 --> 00:18:32,278 That's enough out of you! 451 00:18:33,530 --> 00:18:34,989 I'm gonna bag Scuzzlebutt, 452 00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:36,991 then we'll see who's a little bastard. 453 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:40,161 Hey, seriously, you guys! 454 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:41,913 Kill it, Stan. Kill it. 455 00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:49,963 Come on, Stan, kill it! 456 00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:51,923 Oh, damn it, I can't do it! 457 00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,092 You pansy! Give me that gun. 458 00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:56,302 Hey! - Cartman? 459 00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,929 God damn it, don't shoot me! 460 00:18:58,054 --> 00:18:59,514 What the Sam Hill? 461 00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:01,307 I was just trying to scare you guys. 462 00:19:01,432 --> 00:19:02,976 You can put the gun down now. 463 00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:06,104 So much for the cover of "Guns & Ammo." 464 00:19:06,229 --> 00:19:08,148 Yepper, but I think we've learned 465 00:19:08,273 --> 00:19:10,316 some important lessons, Ned. I think-- 466 00:19:11,151 --> 00:19:12,318 Whoa! 467 00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,028 Holy crap. 468 00:19:14,154 --> 00:19:16,406 The mountain, it's blown its top! 469 00:19:16,531 --> 00:19:18,616 [rumbling] 470 00:19:21,035 --> 00:19:23,830 Oh, my God, they killed Kenny! 471 00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:25,957 No, I'm okay. [screaming] 472 00:19:28,793 --> 00:19:30,128 Look, the volcano. 473 00:19:30,253 --> 00:19:32,255 Quick, duck and cover! 474 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:34,966 [all screaming] 475 00:19:35,091 --> 00:19:38,344 That lava is coming right for us. 476 00:19:38,469 --> 00:19:40,597 Oh, no, look. 477 00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:44,142 What the hell is this trench doing here? 478 00:19:44,267 --> 00:19:45,894 We can't get across! 479 00:19:46,019 --> 00:19:47,896 It now looks as if the missing children 480 00:19:48,021 --> 00:19:50,231 are trapped in the path of hot, nasty lava. 481 00:19:50,356 --> 00:19:54,194 God, please deliver those darling kids from-- 482 00:19:54,319 --> 00:19:57,197 Wait, wait, wait, wait. Three, two and one. 483 00:19:57,322 --> 00:19:59,449 God, please deliver-- 484 00:19:59,574 --> 00:20:01,159 Help! 485 00:20:04,829 --> 00:20:06,831 [grumbles] 486 00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:09,959 [dramatic music] 487 00:20:10,084 --> 00:20:12,503 Jiminy, it's the real Scuzzlebutt! 488 00:20:12,629 --> 00:20:14,631 What? Scuzzlebutt's real? 489 00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:16,674 Oh, my God! Look at his leg! 490 00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:19,552 Hi, kids, I'm TV's Patrick Duffy. 491 00:20:19,677 --> 00:20:21,679 - Quick, Ned, shoot it! 492 00:20:21,804 --> 00:20:25,391 [gun clicks] Oh, no, out of ammo. 493 00:20:25,516 --> 00:20:26,726 [grumbles] 494 00:20:26,851 --> 00:20:29,270 What is that thing? 495 00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:31,272 That's Scuzzlebutt. 496 00:20:31,397 --> 00:20:34,567 Yeah, he has Patrick Duffy for a leg and weaves baskets. 497 00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:37,362 This isn't happening. Everyone look away, please. 498 00:20:37,487 --> 00:20:39,405 Nothing to see here. 499 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:42,909 Well, boys, I'm sorry I got you all killed. 500 00:20:43,034 --> 00:20:48,414 ♪♪ 501 00:20:48,539 --> 00:20:50,250 Ahhh! 502 00:20:50,375 --> 00:20:52,627 ♪♪ 503 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:55,004 Whoa, he built a wicker basket. 504 00:20:55,129 --> 00:20:57,423 Hey, he's saving us. 505 00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:01,844 [grumbles] 506 00:21:01,970 --> 00:21:04,389 Scuzzlebutt saved the day. 507 00:21:04,514 --> 00:21:06,266 And my calculations worked. 508 00:21:06,391 --> 00:21:09,644 The lava's following the trench into the canyon. 509 00:21:09,769 --> 00:21:12,772 Hmm, where exactly does the canyon go? 510 00:21:12,897 --> 00:21:14,565 - Uh... 511 00:21:16,109 --> 00:21:18,903 [all screaming] 512 00:21:19,028 --> 00:21:21,990 South Park is saved. 513 00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:25,785 Hey, look, Kenny's okay. - [muffled speech] 514 00:21:25,910 --> 00:21:28,997 - And now these humble people can rejoice and celebrate 515 00:21:29,122 --> 00:21:31,708 their jovial victory over nature. 516 00:21:31,833 --> 00:21:34,335 I'm getting word that the chef of the school cafeteria 517 00:21:34,460 --> 00:21:38,047 wants to sing a song about this thrilling struggle of humanity. 518 00:21:38,172 --> 00:21:41,926 ♪ Ooh baby every time that we kiss ♪ 519 00:21:42,051 --> 00:21:43,553 ♪ Hot lava ♪ 520 00:21:43,678 --> 00:21:45,805 ♪ Every time that we make love, hot lava ♪ 521 00:21:45,930 --> 00:21:47,390 ♪ Hot lava ♪ 522 00:21:47,515 --> 00:21:49,183 ♪ Lava so hot it makes me sweat ♪ 523 00:21:49,309 --> 00:21:50,852 ♪ Lava so warm and red and wet ♪ 524 00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:52,395 ♪ Lava ♪ 525 00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:53,813 Mayor, what do you have to say 526 00:21:53,938 --> 00:21:55,189 about this wonderful outcome? 527 00:21:55,315 --> 00:21:57,317 Well, we owe everything 528 00:21:57,442 --> 00:22:01,529 to this friendly, yet misunderstood creature. 529 00:22:01,654 --> 00:22:04,324 Thank you, Scuzzlebutt. 530 00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:05,867 Friend. 531 00:22:05,992 --> 00:22:08,703 Oh, how sweet. 532 00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:13,666 I did it, I did it! I finally killed something. 533 00:22:13,791 --> 00:22:15,168 Oh, my God, what has he done? 534 00:22:15,293 --> 00:22:16,669 Turn off the cameras. 535 00:22:16,794 --> 00:22:18,338 Hey, that was easy. 536 00:22:18,463 --> 00:22:20,256 No! 537 00:22:20,381 --> 00:22:22,383 Why, God? Why? 538 00:22:22,508 --> 00:22:24,677 Damn it, Stan. You shouldn't have done that. 539 00:22:24,802 --> 00:22:26,054 What, why? 540 00:22:26,179 --> 00:22:27,972 Yeah, make up your mind, dude. 541 00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:30,350 Stan, some things you kill and some things you don't. See? 542 00:22:30,475 --> 00:22:31,809 No. 543 00:22:31,934 --> 00:22:33,770 Only now, in this late hour, 544 00:22:33,895 --> 00:22:35,897 do I see the folly of guns. 545 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:39,275 I'll never use a gun again. 546 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,527 [gunshot] [muffled screaming] 547 00:22:44,614 --> 00:22:46,199 But I just wanted you to be proud of me, 548 00:22:46,324 --> 00:22:47,450 like you were with Kenny. 549 00:22:47,575 --> 00:22:49,243 But Kenny's dead now, Stan. 550 00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:51,329 And you're always gonna be my nephew. 551 00:22:51,454 --> 00:22:53,581 And you just can't kill anything. 552 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:55,291 You understand? 553 00:22:55,416 --> 00:22:57,335 Dude, I don't understand hunting at all. 554 00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:59,462 Yeah, it's stupid. Let's go watch cartoons. 555 00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:01,589 Yeah, cartoons kick ass.